#i have zero motivation to do anything
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it's 4 pm and it's dark outside how am i supposed to fix my mental health like this
#i was sick for more than a week it looks like im getting better but my mood is. well im kinda depressed#i hope my stomach gets better and i can start eating healthy and exercise a little#but first i have to gain back the weight i lost during the sickness#man this sucks#i have zero motivation to do anything#well besides that one commission im drawing cause its challenging so its fun
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Lol, I was going to make a post for Of Devils and Monsters and post it's first chapter, but then my capacity to figure that out and put it all together is not there
#i have zero motivation to do anything#and nothing makes sense#i tried to work today and then went home on family and sick leave because im just out of it#im alternating between being super dissociated to balling my eyes out#everything is awesome
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benrey noclip moments
#something silly from earlier today#still zero motivation to finish anything but i do have a bunch of doodles of these guys#thank you hlvrai. godbless#hlvrai#hlvrai benrey#gordon feetman#hlvrai fanart
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zero's pressure
#running out of gas. running out of money. out of time. out of energy. i'm running out of everything#and ofc my solution is to. avoid it. ignore it. do nothing productive.#zero's pressure turns into zero pressure#i'm trying to be kind to myself. i really have been trying. but it's hard when youre still headed to 0 on everything with no solution#because of yourself#i cant get a job. my art doesnt bring enough. i cant keep producing new products on the regular. i cant finish major comms on time#what CAN i do?#vent#just some adhd things#and maybe anxiety. and bad stress management#sorry for being so raw on main. its therapeutic even if it doesnt really lead to anything. it does force me to confront my feelings ig#i tend to get a burst of motivation after hitting a low like this but its a constant cycle that in the longterm really doesnt improve.#ill probably get some products done and do some quick comms. just one of those alone can cover gas for me#anyway some positivity to toot my own horn: i love the palette of this piece. went harder than i thought
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I've been doing art style tests lately
An alt version I thought looked cool :)
#can you tell i like him yet. can you. can you tell#i know ONE (1) face angle#and ONE (1) shoulder pose#he is so pretty. he is so prettyyyyy#ive been popin off lately for some reason. im the world's first guy whose art gets 100x better when he's worringly deep in summer depressio#mod snuuy#omori#daily basil#art#omori basil#drawing#digital#basil#basil omori#sorry for no request i have zero motivation to do anything so im just doodlin
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#i dontknow what to caption this yayy#just a doodle. been super artblocked lately#i want to draw so bad and i have ideas but also i have Nothing and zero motivation to do anything at all ever#its awesome#🙃#klonoa#scribbles#klonoa fanart#did not plan or sketch this out at all so its kinda jank but its okay#i got something done thats enough i think#theres other art ive done over the past. idk how long when was the last time i posted#who knows uh i have more stuff but idk if i wanna postttttttttt#ill stop rambling now sorry Okay Hitting Post Now
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i'd like to feel okay again
#ok to rb#vent art#ive had zero energy to do anything#no motivation no nothing#i miss bailey a lot#i miss her so much#she's not home yet#its been a month#ik she'll be in a box and it will never ever be the same but at least i'll have her home with me#i miss her#digital art#art
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There have been a lot of days recently where I'm scrolling through GG tags/feeds and it just isn't fun. I'm too involved, I think; I need to find some other way to distract myself when I'm bored before I explode
#textpost#It's been on a decline since they added Bridget and since Elphelt I've reached some kind of apathy maximum#Idk what the purpose of this post really is because it's not working towards fixing anything I'm complaining about#I kind of just want to complain rofl#This entire winter's just been absolutely miserable#We had like a record for longest amount of total cloud cover ever. So much shit's going on with family and stuff irl#I have zero energy/motivation all of the time and then I hop on social media and it's even more complaining and high school level drama#I haven't worked on a translation or anything since I finished GGCA 15 and I don't have any real desire to#Just.... Ughhhh..... UUUUGHHHHHHHH#What's that meme of the guy kinda leaning forward and walking into a cloud of light? 'Peace out'?#I need to do that. Get outta here. Go do literally anything else
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I had to contact nurse via online, telling her that my depression medications are not working anymore (haven't in weeks) so because of this a doctor will call me on Monday. I think only options are to increse the dose (last time it helped only for 2 days), change the medicine or stop taking the pills. But I know more on Monday.
#Text#Neis life#Mental health#Delete later#I have zero energy or motivation for anything#I either just sit and do nothing or sleep#But my mind goes a million miles per hour in all directions constantly with depressing and anxiety feelings
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trying to write more than 100 words in one go is getting so damn hard lately 😭😭😭
#overworked myself last week and now i’m paying for it by having zero motivation to do anything#going through my requests but i can’t bring myself to write anything longer than 200 words rn#been stuck in one of them for days now#nell rambles ᝰ.ᐟ
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been feeling v frustrated n a little scared recently bc I’ve genuinely had no desire whatsoever to write fics lately and. I’m not used to that. maybe it’s burnout?? I’ve experienced it with different things but never fic writing so it just feels really weird and oddly disappointing ☹️
#I was thinking that maybe it’s the Prozac but#I’ve been writing other things lately without problem#it’s just fics and I’m not used to that at all :(#or maybe it’s bc I’m making myself feel obligated to write things I’m just not#too interested in at the moment#like I HATE when I make polls and then don’t wanna do the top choice akdjdkd#I don’t even wanna write any choice that I listed!!!!!#I have a twilight zone okkotsu#idea that’s been floating around my head#so I might write that first to get into the groove of writing security guard aizawa#but for now it’s just so. bland. zero motivation to do anything fandom related and this feels so odd#I finished my work for the week so maybe I’ll try writing tomorrow then#if my nail polish doesn’t come early wkdjdkf#okay gn I feel sooo sick for some reason idk I think it’s motion sickness#—in store chit chat! 🍫
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100 Days of Faces Challenge! (Day 39)
ajsjajajsj A2
#My urge to make an actually good drawing VS my lack of motivation#Like I can deal with heat okay enough#But when it's hot I have precisely zero desire to do anything#I can't even sleep when it's hot how do you expect me to make good drawings/videos lmao#100 faces meme#100 faces challenge
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My psych: if you're having trouble meeting new people maybe seek out people with similar interests?
My ADHD riddled ass who's interests last between 2 weeks and 2 years max: uh yeah sure I can try
#lmao shut up haz#i dont hyperfixate on anything but programming thankfully. but my interests dont last long lmao#thankfully some stuff comes back to me sometimes. i have drawers of stuff from old hobbies for this reason#i miss my photography era. that was fun. but also i have zero motivation to do it now
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Maybe this doesn’t need to be said, but Im feeling awful about it, so -- to any mutuals that might notice Im not following them anymore, I'm sorry about that. I've just seen too many posts on my dash that I have no way of blocking because they're not tagged in any way and they're distressing enough it's turning one of the only places I considered a safe space not safe for me anymore. So for my own mental health, I had to unfollow. I Will refollow in the future and I still love y'all, but I just-- I can’t. Ive been noticing some very worrying stuff about my mental and emotional state and it's just too much currently. I hope it's at least an understandable decision, and I wish y'all are having a good day out there 💗
#personal#I know its important to keep up with current events#but life overall's been a bit too much for me lately#I should prob go back to my therapist#I haven’t seen her since I went back to uni#for one because I didn’t know my schedule when we last meet and we both thought this should balance me#finally having purpose again and doing what I actually enjoy#but I also don’t have a job now so its costs and... I don’t know#but I probably should now that Im thinking maybe its time to actually get medicated for real#tho first maybe I should just visit my family doc and ask for those vit d supplements my therapists talked about#see if thats gonna be enough#autumn (and winter) has always been an awful time for me in terms of mental and emotional health#but it feels even worse these days#like Im battling against depression every day recently and rarely anything works to distract me#which is why its been hard to get back to peels in dms and such too#I was meant to meet with a friend now that Im studying in a city she lives in but I have yet to get back to her#and it feels like I have not only Zero but like Negative energy and motivation#+ Ive been dealing with an upset stomach for Weeks now#no matter what I eat it feels weird and achy and barely anything tastes good for me already so now its even worse#anyway this turned into such a rant Im sorry#I just didn’t want the lovely peeps Ive been mutuals with for a long time to think I stopped liking them or smth#its just certain untagged posts that I would otherwise block if I could#and I dont wanna impose onto anyone like a 'rule' to tag them or whatever#so yeah this is just temporary#hopefully at some point I get better enough to survive the couple distressing posts heh...
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I miss your writing and art 🙁 Are you planning on post more?
If it makes you feel any better, I miss it too lmao. I do plan on it, yeah, it's just a matter of finding the time and motivation to actually write or sit down and doodle something 😅
#not snz#maybe one day tho#I'm just tired all the time and have zero motivation for anything#like my classes are supposed to start again today and I'm seriously debating just taking the semester off#i realy don't think I'm gonna do them#i also haven't drawn anything in like six months#and i barely write at all#it's just not fun for me anymore like it used to be#tho to be fair nothing has really been fun for me for a hot minute now
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Really feeling it tonight lads
#my life is falling apart and disappearing#i have zero motivation for anything#i have zero energy#all I do is sleep#i hate everything
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