#and maybe anxiety. and bad stress management

[casuallivi]

The Midnight Kiss

Enjoy. Comments are welcomed and cherished :)

Part 10: Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George

Her leg shock with anxiety the entire uber ride to the airport, the noises of the big city doing nothing to drown the variety of wild imaginative scenarios her mind had been creating since leaving Azriel and his ex to have a cozy one-o-one. Elain hadn’t been able to get a hold of her boyfriend for the last three days – that is, if he still was even her boyfriend. A loud groan escaped her at the same time the driver did a sharp stop to avoid crashing in the car in front of them. She checked her wrist watch. Damn it, she was late, late! It was just her luck forgetting to plug her phone the night before a trip. Elain needed to get a grip and take her head out of the clouds! She was a mess since Friday.

When the drop dead gorgeous woman Azriel refused to call and ex had rolled up at Marinos on Friday, Elain idiot-self thought it was a good idea to give them a bit of space. After leaving the conference room, Elain waited in the lobby for about an hour before hunger was clawing her insides like a wild beast. She texted Az to let him know she would be at the Wendy’s across the street and ordered two meal sets for the both of them. Elain ate her food, scrolled on the gram, munched his fries, sipped his watered down drink, scrolled some more, and nothing. By the time the employees began to stack the chairs and give her pointed looks, she apologized for the delay and left, Azriel having successfully ignored her texts and calls for the last three hours, the last bit of hope of finding him getting blow like yesterday’s birthday candle when she returned to the building and didn’t find his car in the parking lot.

Her attentive and sensitive about priory agreed upon engagements boyfriend left her behind when they were supposed to go on a date, a date consisting of delicious homemade food and Elain finally meeting Azriel’s place. Was it her fault for leaving first? Hadn’t he read her text about Wendy’s? Was he mad that she decided to eat without him? Or was it because he had someone else to take home today? Someone whose importance span in the many years from his youth to adulthood? Someone who refused to properly date him but had no qualms in reaping the fruits of his adoring affection.

Sniffing in bed and stress-eating his now cold triple baconburger, Elain could not help but feel like the development of the night was her fault. Christ, why couldn’t she be like those obsessive girlfriends who would not aloud their boyfriends to set a foot away from them, especially when pretty women were in the vicinity? Damn her and her stupid confidence in their individual boundaries and trust in their relationship. Screw that, Elain was going full toxic next time! Yeah, maybe like that she would not be here mopping and wondering about what the heck had happened to Azriel. 

And speaking of Azriel…. The more the thought about, the more she grew mad at him! No matter what he had to discuss with blondie, she was sure it wasn’t so long he could not spare a minute to text or call her, let her know he would not take her home. One last frustrated bite to his sandwich and Elain decided that yes, Azriel should be the receiver of her anger, not herself. She decided then and there that she would not be calling him. Azriel should be the one calling her and giving a good explanation for prioritizing the wrong lady in the equation. Yes, she would not forgive him for leaving her behind without some good groveling.

In the end, her resilience amounted to almost nothing. As Saturday came and went without a single smoke signal or nothing, her resentment turned to concern. Was Azriel okay? Had something truly bad happened to him? Did blondie finished stabbing his heart and ripping it out of his chest? Or worse, did blondie managed to crawl back into his heart?  Had they gone back together and now Azriel didn't know how to dump Elain’s ass? Sweet lord in heaven, was he gonna fire her now that he was back in the arms of the prettier match? Oh no, her rent was due in one week, how was Elain supposed to afford rent now? What about the new sofa she ordered online?! Her back could only handle so much sitting on the floor before collapsing, she needed this sofa! And what about their relationship? The relationship he said to mean for real! Was it just a long term joke? Was he now badmouthing her to his ex, kissing her slender neck and telling her all about Elain’s crazy new year’s eve agenda?

Jesus, kill me now.

By the time she stumbled into the airport, Elain was breathless, but she took little time to spot the familiar faces of Nuala and Miguel in the far end of their terminal.

“Angelita, aqui! This way!” Miguel waved her closer.

Elain waved back, ordering the wild inauspicious scenarios to go away.

“Girl, our boarding is about to begin.” Nuala reprehended.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, my alarm was off.” She apologized to her team members, finally noticing three small carry-ons neatly arranged beside a big bright fuchsia one, rolling her own dusk pink carry-on beside his, confusion evident in her raised brows.

Before she could ask any questions, a loud whistle resonated from behind her.

“Howdy, pumpkin! Should I be expecting milk anytime soon?”

Elain wondered if her cow print shirt was a bit much as she turned in the direction of Cassian’s familiar voice, the smile in his tone plastered all over his face as he pretended to throw a lasso at her. For the first time since she meet him, Elain felt no urge to rebuke Cass, his ever present smirk making her mildly annoyed instead of flushed. First of all, what was he doing here? Then her eyes drifted to the one waltzing behind him and her stomach dropped, her face heating from a different emotion entirely. 

Elain flushed, her short washed-jeans overall and dark brown boots seeming like the silliest outfit of the world in comparison to Morrigan deep purple off-shoulder dress, her elegant neck and collarbone in perfectly display for the world to admire. Fabric flow effortlessly all the way to her ankles, the long sleeves giving the piece a regal feeling, the material so delicate one could see glimpses of her marble skin beneath it, the click of her heels making sure she was real and not a fruit of Elain’s imagination.

Nuala took a step near her friend and kicked her shin, mouthing “close your mouth”. Elain pretended to clean the sweat in her open lip and closed he mouth, which was literally hanging open.

Cassian caught her staring and grinned, thinking she was looking at him and not past him. “The girlfriend is here at last, I thought you were both ditching us.”

Cassian was talking again but Elain wasn’t hearing a word, eyes going back and forth between him and the silent Morrigan who matched his step without a word, the hem of her dress sweeping the floor dramatically. Morrigan’s cunning eyes were covered by a pair of expensive sunglasses but Elain was sure she was looking at her too, her head bobbing slightly up and down as she appraised her love rival.

Christ, why was she wearing that in the airport? Every time Elain encountered this woman she was left feeling underdress when she was the overdressed one! Cassian, on the other hand, looked like he was ready for a vacation, sporting a hawaiian shirt, khaki shorts and flip flops

“Where's Marino?” Elain asked no one in particular.

Miguel frowned.

“Isn’t he with you?”

“Mhm,” Nuala agreed. “His phone is off, we thought he was with you.”

“No, he’s not with me.” If Elain wasn’t already breathless from all her running, she would be turning breathless now. Azriel was never late. Never. “He was supposed to be here. He’s always the first one in.”

Elain picked her phone and dialed his number, stopping when she remembered he had not answered her once in the last days.

“Call him.” She asked Cassian.

“Already did. No sign at the strip club. Underground rooms and all that.”

Elain rolled her eyes, mustering courage to call him herself.

“That’s not funny Cass, something could have happened to him. And why are you here again?”

“Wow Lainy, no need to be so thrilled to have me.” Cassian raised a hand to his heart, pretending to be heart.

Elain ignored him, her eyes scanning the airport.

“Where are you Az…” she muttered, more to herself than anyone else.

“Relax, he’ll show. He must have lost track of time styling his hair or some shit.”

Now see, at any other moment his jab might have been funny, but have Cassian making fun of Azriel while she was seriously worried about him was starting to piss her off. Elain glared at him, imagining herself tugging his stupid ponytail until he came to his senses. His brother was missing and he was wasting time being sarcastic! The line rang till it died in her ear, Elain rubbing her face before calling Azriel again. All this radio silence was really worrying her now. What if he got in to an accident and none of them knew about it? What if his body has been laying cold in a morgue since friday?

Sweat dripped down her armpit and Elain fanned herself with her free hand. It was hot or was it her? Elain was about to shove her pride where the sun didn’t reach and ask Morrigan when was the last time she saw Az when something caught the corner of her eye.

Slowly, she lowered her phone, zooming in the missing man making his way through the crowded space, shoulders hunched and dragging his luggage as one does to a body, a cartoonish dark cloud shooting lightnings straight to his head and making the air denser. Elain rubbed her eyes, trying to rid herself of the illusion her anxious mind had casted, but the vision did not fade. In fact, the vision nodded at Nuala’s frenetic waving hand crisscrossing bodies till he was standing in front of her.

This man couldn’t be…. Could he?

No, no. No way he would leave the house like that.

Would he?

Elain’s eyes lowered to his left hand, quickly spotting the signet ring with a gracious M he always wore on his pinky. A twin to his brother’s ring. A Marino heirloom gifted to them by their mother before she passed away. 

Oh. My. God.

This disheveled man was Azriel!

And Azriel was wearing… he was wearing….

Elain’s eyes were nearly popping out of their sockets, because Azriel was wearing sweatpants! Dear lord, the man was wearing sweatpants. Sweatpants! And it didn’t match the hoodie either! Cold shivers ran down her body, and Elain could swear somewhere outside thunderstorm was brewing, even though the sun had nearly burned her alive once she was of her uber.

There he was. The man who had not so friendly ghosted her harder than Casper, the man who she had never seen sporting anything below a business casual look, the man who wore a suit even to a goddamn get along in Cerridwen rooftop, that same man was now wearing a mismatched combo of purple sweatpants and the most hideous orange hoodie Elain had ever seen. His usually perfectly cut and stylished hair was messy and sticking out from beneath a worn-out cap, a pair of vintage sunglasses covering half his face, the other half gone under the shadow of a beard that had no business looking that good in such a mess of a man. Elain didn’t even know he could grow a beard!

“Are you okay?” she asked quietly, unable to hide her concern, only to regret 0.5 seconds later when he completely ignored her.

Sharp hazel eyes popped over the rim of his black sunglasses, apparently counting the staff members till he spotted two who made him squint.

“What are you doing?” he said, his voice low and tight.

Elain followed his line of sight, her eyes meeting Cassian’s, who was now seated and chewing gum. He winked at her, spreading his legs further apart in a move that would have Elain gulping not too long ago.

“Waiting for you,” he said simple. Elain didn’t know if he was oblivious to Azriel’s agitated state of if he was pretending to be. “As is everyone else. You know, nowadays we have this amazing device called ‘watch’. You should get one.”

“Why are you here, Cassian?” Azriel rephrased impatiently. 

“Isn’t this a business trip? I’m here to do business.”

“I don’t need you here. I don’t want you here.”

Elain, Nuala and Miguel exchanged looks. The photoshoot trip was originally scheduled for the four of them, and the models would arrive on set on the next day. Except, earlier that morning Miguel received a call from Cassian asking which flight they were taking, and when he arrived at the airport Miguel spotted Cassian chatting with Morrigan, who was dressed in Valentino from head to toe and doing a marvelous job ignoring his good morning.

“Don’t worry, resting bitch face is her best angle.”  Cassian laughed it off

Miguel couldn’t mention any of this now with all that tension in the air, but the group sure would be debriefing everything later.

“Can you take anything seriously?”

“I take many things seriously,” Cassian said, feigning offense. “Like this,” he gestured to himself. “You don’t just wake up looking this good. It takes effort, discipline—”

“Cassian!” Azriel cut him, his bad mood turning worse. “I’m not playing with you.”

Cassian’s teasing expression faltered for a moment, something almost thoughtful flickering in his eyes. Fixing the imaginary wrinkles of his Hawaiian tee, Cassian stood, the mirth she was used to seeing in his eyes nowhere to be found.

“Weren’t you the one whining about being understaffed? Well, I brought you a staff,” he pointed at himself, “a fucking expensive one. And a model too,” he pointed at Morrigan. “You are welcome. Now stop being a little bitch and let’s get going before we miss our flight, huh?!”

Azriel’s jaw tightened. “I don’t need your help.”

Then his gaze shifted to Morrigan. The other woman who Azriel didn’t acknowledge since his arrival hadn’t take her eyes of him for a second, making Elain’s imagination fertile again. “And I definitely don’t need hers.”

Cassian shrugged. “Well, tough shit. My presence is hella expensive, but I choose to be here, so stop being an ungrateful little bitch and enjoy the free ride.”

Cassian tapped his brother’s chest, collecting his and Morrigan’s suitcases before moving to the front gate, Nuala and Miguel awkwardly glancing between the brothers before following him, Elain staying behind with Azriel, who had yet to look at her.

Elain knew this wasn’t good time to question him, but all this anxiety and tension was driving her mad! She had to ask at least one question, one miserable question that was eating her mind away.

“Are you okay?” she asked again.

“I’m fine.” He answered annoyed, stalking ahead without her.

Oh, hell no. She had been worried sick about him and that's how he was treating her?

That rude son of a–

+

The plane touched down in the small, sleepy town of Redhaven just as the last of the evening turned into night. The airport was barely a blip on the map, the kind of place where the ticket counter doubled as a café and announcements were shouted left and right. Soon as they landed, Miguel went on a mission to exchange their rented car for a minivan to fit everybody, Azriel snatching the keys the second he was back.

“Sit on the front.” He ordered the male that wasn’t his relative.

He’s avoiding me again, Elain thought glaring at the back of his head, childish idiot.

Azriel had not sat beside her in the airplane ride either. At least he had not sat with the model, who he seemed intent in ignoring as much as he was avoiding Elain.

Elain slid into the middle row next to Nuala, who gave her a questioning look but said nothing. Elain fastened her seatbelt, reading herself for another round of brooding silence, Cassian and Morrigan occupying the last row, each one lost in their own phone.

In the plane Azriel sat at an aisle seat with other unknown passengers and stared at his laptop the entire time, boring stupid excel sheets covering the screen. Now, he drove with the same laser focus, his hands gripping the steering wheel like it might shatter if he let go.

Elain starred at the back of his head, feeling divided between knowing what the hell was he was thinking or beating his ass for daring to treat her like this. Hell would be damn if she ever approached him again after he shut her down in the airport. At this rhythm her dating life would burn out quick as it began, once again woven by the whims of Azriel Marino.   

At that moment her stomach growled. Loud. The awful noise filling the silent ride louder than the trumpets of the apocalypse. Finally, Azriel’s eyes meet hers through the rear mirror, the glint in them indecipherable.

“I’m hungry,” she said quietly.

“Me too.” Nuala complained.

Elain had skipped lunch in her hurry to the airport, and then her stomach was too unsettled to handle food, the horrid mood of their trip making her queasy inside. Azriel said nothing but Elain saw he readjusting the GPS, a cute roadside dinner appearing at their left ten minutes later.

The place was decent enough, bright neon lights casting a cheerful glow on the cracked parking lot. Azriel parked without a word, heading inside ahead of the group as if they weren’t even there. The diner’s interior was all checkered floors and red vinyl booths, the kind of nostalgic charm that made her smile despite her awful driver.

The group moved in direction of a corner booth, Azriel going to the counter, Morrigan lingering near the jukebox, her sunglasses now perched on her head. Elain ignored them all and headed to the bathroom, the queasiness in her belly now turned into a full on stomachache. Her stomach had always been sensitive to her emotions, and today they were out of control!

+

Elain was embarrassed to admit she spent a little more time than necessary inside the bathroom stall. Freaking automatic flushing! Why couldn’t bathroom be manual and easy to use? Not trusting machines, she passed her hand over the sensor one last time, not very ecologic of her part, but she could help it. Enough! She should return to her table before all the food was gone.

Elain exited the stall humming, but stomach ache nearly returned in full when she recognized the tall blonde in a shimmering gown by the sink, using her fingers to comb her perfectly flattened sunny hair.

Her eyes snapped to Elain’s reflection in the mirror, a glimmer of recognition passing behind them. Elain turned the faucet on feeling self-conscious, the model broke the silence first.

“You again. Azzy’s assistant.” She emphasized the last word with a tone meant to make Elain feel inferior.

“His photographer.” Elain corrected politely, making sure to edge her voice as well.

Normally Elain would have no problem being mistaken by Karen, Azriel’s real assistant. Being her boss’ assistant was not for the faint of heart, and the small brunet held their office record of the person who Azriel took the longest to make cry. Elain didn’t last a week. Let that be known that she cried from frustration! Still, a measly week. And what was it with the sudden nickname drop? This whole Azzy stuff was an awful nickname and she would really appreciate if people stopped calling him that.

“That must have hurt.” Elain turned to the model to find her eyes cast down as she stared at the faded scars running the length of her knee. Her lips creased, grossed out by it.

“Yeah,” she said unsure of how to react.

“I barely noticed your limp.”

“I don’t have one." Okay, was she imagining it, or was this woman deliberately trying to be rude? "Recovered completely in physiotherapy.”

Elain soaped her hands quicker, her gut urging her to get the hell out of this bathroom.

“A word of advice?” Morrigan didn’t wait for an answer, her acid words pouring like lava from an erupting volcano. “Try some pants next time. Or at least a piece of clothing that covers everything that needs to be covered.”

Nope, not imagining.

“Excuse me?”

Hard brown eyes did a slow inventory of Elain’s body, grimacing at her clothes. Elain looked down on herself to see nothing wrong with her outfit. She was dressed appropriately and comfortable for a day long trip. Her clothes were clean and smelling good, but Morrigan’s nose wrinkling made it seem like she was cow shit on the road.

“Is there a problem with my clothes?”

“Your taste is… peculiar.” Morrigan produced a lipstick from her mini purse, applying a new coat of bright cherry red as if she had all the time in the world. “It’s fine, tho. We both know you won’t keep dressing like that for much long.”

Elain frowned. “I won’t?”

“Did he sleep with you?” The question was unexpected, spoken with brazen confidence and catching Elain out of guard, whose face turned fifty shades of red. Morrigan’s mirror reflection smirked with bright red lips. "I knew it. I knew he didn't."

"Who say we didn't?"

"You didn't." She says with conviction. "You think this is the first time this happens? The first time he uses other women to make me jealous? It isn't. But he never crossed the line, never sleeps with them, and he never will. He wouldn't hurt me like that."

Elain could barely contain her shock. Hurt her? For fuck sakes she's dating his fucking brother!

“Right now you are trying really hard to make a man way above your league to look at you, that's how I know you won't be dressing like this for long. Azriel might be giving you time of his day now, but that man is obsessed with fashion, style, elegance, to reach his standard would require some drastic upgrade form your part. I would recommend pitch black tights if you are so set on showing your legs around.”

Elain was rendered speechless, not believing those absurd words were coming from a person’s mouth. Wait a minute. Did a grown ass woman really just tried to make her feel ashamed of herself, for having a scar, in the bathroom of a roadside dinner? Laughter escaped her shocked lips.

Who did this girl think she was? Some Dollar Tree version of Regina George? What the hell was going on! Elain couldn’t contain herself any longer. She refused to let people walk all over her in this goddamn awful day.

Had Morrigan bothered to learn a bit about Elain before going on her insult rampant, she’d have known that Elain has two sisters, and if there’s one thing that growing in a house full of girls taught her, was how to keep her spirits up in a verbal sparing.

In order to bully a bully, you have to take what he hates the most and turn it against him. And right now, for whatever stupid reason she carved in her head, what Morrigan seemed to hate the most was Elain.

“Is this a prank? Is that your way to congratulate me and say, ‘Yey, we are basically sisters now!’?”

Mor carefully created persona soured, her megawatt smile dying down.

“Are you mad? Why would I be your sister?”

Now Elain smile was so real it hurt her cheeks. “Because we are dating brothers.” She pointed to the shocked blonde, “you dating Cass,” then to herself, “me dating Azzy. That makes us sis-ters. We even look alike.” Elain beamed, clapping her hands excitedly.

Morrigan face turned green like she was about to be sick.

“I look nothing like you!” she raged.

“Oh, but you do. Brown eyes, golden hair, lovely smiles. I was almost a model as well you know, but taking pictures is much more fulfilling.”

“You think you are funny?”

“I think your attempt to patronize me is pathetic.” Elain shook her hands hard enough to sprinkle Morrigan with water, the blonde squealing away from her. “By the way, it’s okay for me to have peculiar taste, Az is the one with good taste in our relationship. He's dating me after all."

Elain hummed drying her hands, Morrigan still glaring at her as someone who wanted to pick a fight. Elain was having none of that. She was way too strong to fight with this skinny idiot, one punch from her and half her teeth would be knocked out.

"Enjoy your night. I’ll tell Azzy you said hi.”

It was offical. This trip was the worst ever!

Once she was out of the bathroom and out of the blond’s sight, Elain took her phone and texted a quick message for her sister.

Nes, hypothetically, if I go to jail for aggravated assault will you bail me?

A minute later came her response. A short,

No.

Then,

Because I’d be locked beside you.

Then,

Who’s the bitch?

---

I imagine Mor to dress something flashy and completely out of hand like this

[vodid]

zero's pressure

[early-october-skies]

Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees

[running-in-the-dark]

I've been thinking about something and I don't know how I feel about it.

So, since I started taking medication for it, my anxiety has improved a lot. Like, it went from being so debilitating that I couldn't do anything anymore, I could barely leave the house and would have panic attacks if I heard a door slam, to being tolerable.

But, I'm not sure if that's... it. I don't know if it could get even better, or if it would be worth trying to find out. I'm still looking for a therapist (though not actively at the moment) but it doesn't seem likely that I'll get an appointment with one this year. I've got a psychiatrist but he basically just prescribed my meds.

I don't know if it's possible to get rid of that feeling that's not quite a panic attack but almost - like a mini panic attack, I guess. Last time that happened I was basically useless for the rest of the day. That's still much better than before, but is it enough? Or should I keep trying? I don't know.

[florida3exclamationpoints]

This is so stressful and for what

[rqnarok]

GLORY BOX | old man!logan x fem!reader

summary: calling old man!logan daddy for the first time ever…

content warnings/tags: smut! mdni. literally porn with no plot or whatsoever. old man!logan. unspecified age gap. stressed reader. established relationship (surprising). soft daddy dom!logan. sub!reader. daddy kink. dd/lg undertones. subspaces. pet names (princess, little girl, etc). unprotected p in v. slight breeding kink. barely proofread. wc: 1,3k 

All the work you’ve been having these past weeks is knocking you out, mentally and physically. The sight of never-ending paperwork before you makes you want to throw your dinner up to the desk. Although you know it’s not healthy to push yourself like this—you just couldn’t help it. Your anxieties are always eating you and forcing you to do this and that subconsciously. 

Luckily, Logan always notices when you’re tiring yourself to death. His love comes in many forms, one being taking care of you. He always takes care of you at the price of nothing. 

Well, maybe one or two things. 

Your obedience, is in fact, required. Your loyalty to him and only him is expected. Your submission is essential. 

Both of you find a simple way of living by holding onto those systems. You love to be taken care of and Logan loves to take care of you. It is the foundation of your and Logan’s relationship. It is enough. 

His presence is greatly felt as he watches you overworking yourself to a dreadful agitation, “Come on, sweets. Rest up for a bit.” 

“Can’t, Lo. ‘M still doing this.” Your head lulls lazily as the burden on your shoulders becomes overwhelming. Deadlines loom all over your mind, all over your brain like grey clouds before a storm. 

He just can’t take it anymore. The sight of his pretty baby all slouched down and defeated in the dim living room. “I’ll do all the work for ya’. C’mere, princess.”

And before you know it, or even before you register it—your head goes radio silent for a minute. All because of Logan.

“Little one.” Your paperworks on the desk are long abandoned as Logan tenderly whispers to your neck, to the skin he had plastered with many love bites and little hickeys. 

“Mhm—”

His cock is stuffed deep inside of your soaking pussy, stretching you up with his thick girth, and locking your figure to his with his strong biceps like glue.

This position, you on top of him, usually makes you tired and your thighs sore—but it’s different now because he’d taken a willingness to do all the work. I’ll do all the work for ya’. The sight of his girl—his gorgeous girl opening herself to him; letting yourself rest up a bit after all the sobs you had swallowed this entire week—electrify something inside him.

You love to be taken care of by Logan. 

“My pretty pillow princess, hm?” He mutters sweetly to your right ear, gently brushing your hair along the way. Your figure slumped into him, leaning your entire body weight onto him. You managed to nod lightly, lazily, and slowly, but still with desperation. 

“Yeah. My little girl. All mine.” His fingers reach your chin and nod your head with him. Slowly lifting his hips up and down, he makes his cock hits that spot deep inside you. When he talks to you like this—you just can’t help it. The more he babies you, the more you fall into subspace. 

Before you can’t stop yourself, you croak out a small breathy voice, “Daddy.” You sounded so feeble - you barely even recognized your own voice. 

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. 

All this time, you call him lots of names, alright. Jokingly or in a serious manner: Grandpa, Lo, Logan, Old Man, Old Guy—but never that.

You feel Logan tense and how his cock twitches inside your walls. Then he slightly pulls you up and down on him, way deeper this time.

His rugged palms dug into your hips, rubbing circles there, “What was that, sweetheart?” The older man’s voice tremble slightly because fuck he didn’t think he could get harder. He knows he’s a bad bad bad man for enjoying shit like this. Young, delicate thing like you drooling over his cock.

You whimper into his shoulders and shy yourself away from his intense gaze—the one that made you clench your pussy around his girth. “What’d ya’ just call me, princess?” He repeats as his fingers squish your cheeks to look at him in the eyes. Bullseye.

There he went again. Making you fall deeper into your subspace you can’t even think. “Repeat whatcha’ say to your old man, baby.” Pushing just the right buttons. 

“Daddy…” you managed to get away from his gripping fingers and nuzzle your face deeper into his neck—your voice comes out needier than you expected.

Logan groans and you could feel his cock twitches again, “You wan’ more of Daddy’s cock? Hm?”

He managed to slip his thumb into your spit-slicked mouth and make you suck at the tip. “Mmhm. Please, Daddy—”

“Wan’ Daddy t’a stuff you up, little one?” He grunts, loving all this, you could tell. His thumb slips out of your lips and makes its way down down down and then his hand drifts to play with your breasts, squeezing and pinching your peaking nipples.

“Ah! Y-yes, Daddy.” You’re full-on sobbing now. You’d do anything. Only one word repeats in your dumbfounded mind now.

Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. 

“‘Aight. Hold on t’me.” Logan lets out a dry chuckle and trails his hands from your breasts to the plush of your ass. “Daddy’ll fill you up.” He lifts you up and lets the tip of his cock slip from your clenching wet hole, barely even the tip. He scolds you softly when you start moving around in desperation, “Stay still for Daddy. Lemme’ do my job.” 

You cry out loudly when he thrusts himself back in, deep and hard. “Daddy!” Your nails dig into his shoulders and he sets a rapid pace. 

The sound of slapping flesh against flesh obscenely roams around the room as Logan pistons his hips up off the cushion, eagerly meeting your bouncing body above him. “T-there ya’ go, kiddo. Always grippin’ Daddy so fuckin’ tight.”  

Logan takes his right hand and press it down on your tummy, feeling his cock bulging through, "Ya' feel me here, kiddo?" And God, how could you not melt at that?

He pounds his large cock into your slicked pussy, chasing his high and yours. “Go ‘head play with your pouty clit.” Says Logan as he keeps bullying his way inside your heat. But your hands stay locked around his shoulders. You’re just too tired and he said he’d do all the work, right? 

Logan knows you’re close when he feels your toes curl on his thigh and your arms tightening around his neck—suffocating him with your presence and your cunt.

“Daddy,” you call out to him again, making grabby hands on his salt-and-pepper beard. A continuous line of DaddyDaddyDaddyDaddys in a loop and you’re so full of him, you feel him everywhere.

“Cream my fat cock, baby. Daddy’ll fill you up real nice.”  You try to tell him yes but it comes out of you broken and high-pitched.

“Daddy-” you can feel his big fingers circling your swollen button—doing all the work for you. It’s not even a second later until you babble that you’re coming, repeating it over and over in his ear. “‘M coming, Daddy—‘M-” 

Logan mutters a curse word as he feels your velvet walls squeezing his cock so tight and milking him dry. “Shit. Such a good little girl.” He coos at the sight before him, your shaking figure, coming down from your high, and rolling your eyes to the back of your head in pleasure. 

He can’t help himself anymore—his pace becomes relentless, and he indulges his body forward closer to you, burying his face on your neck. “Fuck, princess.” You whimper at the burning feel of his untrimmed scruffy beard.

“Come.” 

Oh, you want to order him around now?

“Come, Daddy. Need your cum so bad, pleasepleasepleas—” 

Nevermind.

In your neck, he lets a roaring grunt as his cock twitches and swells inside of your dripping pussy. “Jesus Christ.” He huffs every time he spurts his release, his thrust going weaker and slower. Yet the pleasure that you deride him for is inescapable. No amount of power could take him away from you. He makes sure of that.

His breath finally comes back to him, and so does your senses, little by little. You whimper as you feel his cum gushing out of your hole, “Daddy-”. 

But he keeps his position still, his legs grounded to the floor—he just kisses your temple, then your cheeks, then your lips. “Shh. Daddy’s here. Daddy’ll take care of you.” He coos at your hair, kissing the crown of your head. 

He decided that he’d have you like this for the night. Seated atop of his muscular thighs—full of his seed and spent. 

Daddy always takes care of you.

[timmydraker]

Tim vapes.

To his friends, namely the ones at school and not so much in Young Justice, this ain’t anything surprising. It’s popular for his age group and given how he has various roles in life that cause anxiety and his poorly concealed PTSD from being Red Robin, it makes sense he’d turn to something for comfort.

That comfort just happens to be an addiction to the ‘cancer usb’s his brother Dick once went on a two hour rant about.

Jason once got grounded and forced to watch a PowerPoint video made by Dick and Bruce after he was caught with a cigarette while still Robin. Jason still kept up the bad habits, but he normally turned to a drink or smoke when things were really bad. It was both recreational and a treat that he only had a few times a year, or month in the case of alcohol.

Tim doesn’t take breaks unless he’s on patrol.

It started when he was thirteen and was so tired from starting work with Wayne Enterprise and Robin that he didn’t give his usual response to his friends offer of a hit.

The passion fruit guava flavour settled easily in his chest, most likely due to how he had a lot of self control with his body. He coughed a storm afterwards but quickly found himself coming back for a hit or two during school breaks.

It only took a month for him to buy his first one after some research. He bought the least damaging one for his body even if he knew that lessening such damage didn’t fully remove it.

He started with grape.

Then once that died, he bought sour apple.

Then fairyfloss.

Then strawberry mango.

Then birthday cake, which he genuinely didn’t think could be real but alas.

It took almost four years for anyone in his family to notice and by pure luck it was his actual father who would end up dying a few months later. Tim remembers how guilty he felt when he realised his father would no longer be yelling at him for his ‘fruity fucking stink’ and that such a thing gave him genuine relief. He shouldn’t want his dad to be dead, yet…

It was then Tim realised that maybe he should try slow down his usage, and challenged himself to go a whole hour before a hit, then two and then finally three before he decided that would be enough for a while.

It’s on a particularly bad patrol when he saw a kid get hurt and wasn’t in time to save her from some likely permanent damage that he forwent his rule of vaping in the suit and took several hits while against a wall in his Red Robin attire.

He was just stating to feel the calm fully settle in his bones as his last puff of sour rainbow exited his lunged when he heard a voice just a few feet away.

“How dare you disgrace the name of Robin with that filth!”

Tim jumps up immediately but no training would prepare him for how quickly Damian comes over and snatches the vape from his hand.

Damian is gone quicker than he can get himself together and he only just managed to shout and run after him with his growing panic.

Tim watches his youngest brother vanish from sight and knows he’s doomed.

When he gets back to the cave a few hours later after trying to hide away from his problems, he’s finished his second vape (star fruit grape) from pure stress.

He’s met with the entire family sans Jason giving him the most disappointed and concerned look he’s seen since he confessed he lost his spleen and didn’t tell anyone.

Damian won’t meet his eye but even then Tim can tell from years of studying his younger that even Damian feels a little guilty for outing him, but as Dick looks close to tears with how upset he is the others resolve clearly strengthens.

Tim doesn’t blame him, even if he’s mentally going over all the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal.

[aliceinborderlandsquidgame]

An old feeling (and obsession) | In-oh x Fem!Player!Reader | PT1

Summary: In-oh always thought the ones who ended in the games were nothing but parasites of society. But then he meets you and he starts to feel something he thought he would never feel again.

Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Canon violence - May be OOC - Slight!Obsess In-ho - Player 095 lives!! - Anxiety - Sad!Reader - Soft moments

Notes: Mixed two requests!! Honestly I think these two fits perfectly.

Divided in two parts but you dont need to read this one to read the other -

PT 2

Asks: 1 - 2 -

In-ho was not sure when or how you ended in his mind, passing from being just another face from the games, another piece for the system he had worked for years now. To being somehow important to him.

Maybe it was because you reminded him of himself when he first joined? All lost and confused but also showing a strong determination to survive?

Or maybe it was something even deeper, how you made him feel human and not just "The Front Man" , how you managed to awake feelings on him he thought he had become impossible to feel.

When did it start ?

"Uh, In-ho was it?" A voice that at first did not ring a bell to him. He looked at you a calm look on his face, he saw you offering him your own milk.

"I saw you giving this to player 222 and I dont really like milk so, here. You also saved our team back then" You said offering him your own milk and mentioned how he had moved his leg to make Gi-hun get the last kick.

He took it already thinking on why would you do this. He had a reason at least, a valid one in his opinion. But you ? Why would you give him your own food to him ? Someone who was alright, who was not carring a life.

"Are you sure? This may be the only food we get" He asked truly curious to understand your thinking.

But you just gave him a smile, a honest one. One that he had forgot he could get too inmmersed in his role.

"Im sure, besides its going to be more help to have someone like you well feed than me" You responded then turned around and went back next to Jun-hee who was getting sleepy no wonder after all the stress.

One thing that was clear, you were kind, and by what you said you were not stupid, but you still needed to think on yourself first.

He promised not to drink the milk but later as the lights were turned off he did. Thinking about you, he tried to remember if by luck he had read your file or how you acted on green light red light. But his mind could not find an answer, it would go back to the small exchange from earlier.

And he would find his heart beating just a bit faster.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~

The next day came, all players were a mix of nervous and excited for the next game. The guards as always made them walk the maze made of stairs and into the main arena.

"What game do you think its going to be?" Your voice filled his hears as you walked besides him. You kind of felt his presence as a protective one. Even if at first he had voted to continue playing. After listening the reason of why he was here on the first place you could not blame him. Your empatic attitude made you just feel bad for him and now you wanted to make up to him. Even if you never disrespected him.

In-ho felt your presence endaring, like you grounded him and took him back to how he used to be and feel.

A fear started to install inside him because of that, he did not want you to change in consequence of the games, like it happened to him.

"This may be mingle" the voice of Jung-Bae cut the train of thoguhts from In-ho.

It was Mingle, he knew it

"Like the game where we formed teams and hugged each other as kids?" You wondered now your attention on Jung-Bae who nodded back at you. 

"Well, I believe they wont make us hug each other" The cold voice from Gi-hun came along as the three of you and the rest of the group went up to the circle platform.

"If we need to form teams then we may end separated" You said as the platform started to spin making you lose sense of space and instinctively  went to take someones hand.

That just happened to be In-ho.

You blushed and went to quietly let go when he took your hand back giving it a firm grip, he did not look in your direction (something you thanked since your face was on fire) but you did give him a soft shake back.

"10"

The panic went in, your team still needed one more, luckly Dae-ho acted quick and took a player that was frozen in place and screamed at the rest to run to one of the doors.

Then all of you ran towards one door opening it and going inside, between the chaos In-ho never let go of your hand only when the door lock was secured he let it go giving you a look then looking away.

His heart was beating fast. He had made these games, even played before and yet he was feeling worry over you. Why? You were not supposed to be special. But when he felt your hand and looked to see your confused and scared face something in his heart hurt, he could not leave you like that.

He could not be cruel with you.

The next rounds followed each one making you more stressed specially when you almost lose Young-mi during the last round.

"Are you alright?" You asked her, voice full of worry.

She just nodded being a bit pale "Thank you, you pushed that other aside, if it wasnt for you..."

"Dont mention it" not only because thinking that you caused the death of someone else was a brutal hit for your moral, but because the fear you felt for her in these last moments made you want to vomit thanks to how nervous and desesperated you were.

You did not ever think about the other player when you went for her.

You walked slowly like a zombie till you felt a shadow over you, it was In-ho.

"Are you alright?" He asked, you two got separated last round and he (even if he wont tell you) was worried you would be one of the numbers mention as eliminated.

"Im fine, last round was a lot" You responded giving him a tired smile getting on the platform again.

He followed not beliving you but not saying anything for a few seconds.

"Stay besides me, next round may be the last one" He spooke to you not leaving room for another option.

"What makes you say that?" You wondered, too lost to even try and reason how many rounds were left or how many you already played. The only thing you could see was the blood on the ground.

"We are 126 standing and there is only 50 cabins, if they want to put pressure on us by losing others then this is the right moment" He explained making you purse your eyelash at that.

"Then how many would-"

"Two, two for each door" He was quick to answer. He looked at you directly to your eyes. It seemed that the spin stopped for him, he was lost in your eyes for a second getting suck by them. His heart felt heavy and he felt that need again,  the need of protecting you.

"Stay by my side for the next round" He said again extending his hand to you "Take my hand and dont let go, I doubt the others wont get desesperated and will end palying dirty"

Before you reached his hand you went towards Gi-hun and Jung-Bae who were also talking about what number would be said next.

"Two" you cut them off getting a look from them "Just listen, its going to be two, I cant explain but I need to ask you two for something. One of you please take Young-mi with you, please im begging" You asked them almost in tears not having time to process last round and your actions.

Gi-hun the one from the pair who had already played could imagine what could have happened and he nodded giving your shoulder a firm grip. "We wont leave her" He promised you.

You thanked them again and went back besides In-ho who this time took your hand in his without saying or asking anything.

"2"

The moment the voice announced the number In-ho ran with you, his hand holding yours in iron fist.

He would be dammed if he lost you among the crowd.

Most rooms were getting occupied, In-ho searched till he saw one.

"There, the yellow door" He screamed at you pushing you first into the room then just as a player was going in getting them out of the way.

However things did not end once inside.

In-ho looked over his shoulder as he tried to held the door and prevent anyone from entering.

"Shit" He cursed. He saw you froze in place looking at other player who was just as shocked as you.

"W-we got here first" The player sutter at you who only watched him, the sound of your heart filling your ears and the screams from outside.

"Hold the door" In-ho ordered in a very comanding voice pushing you and going towards the player, he reduced him starting to choke him. "Close your eyes" He said to you once he noticed you were looking over your shoulder at him.

No. He could not let you see him like this.

You did as told and closed your eyes forcing yourself to block what was happening around you.

I wanna go home, fuck I wanna get out of here.

The sound of a crack and then the alarm indicating time was off got you out of your mind. You let yourself fall against the wall near the door trying not to look over the dead body in the room.

"Hey, hey (Y/N) look at me" In-ho implored trying to bring you back.

"I- I wanna go home In-ho" You told him now crying, whatever bravery you had was crushed right there.

Much like his own heart.

He pulled you against him in a hug, letting you cry on his chest, he felt you shaking and hugged you thighter caressing your hair.

There was no way he would leave you here after this.

"Shh, shh it passed. We are ok, just breath now" He tried to calm you down

"What if the others-"

"Im positive they made it" He said even if he could not really tell you that. "Focus on yourself now, focus in my voice alright? You are ok, you are safe"

"Dont let me go please" You pleaded him holding his track-suit with force.

"Never"

And he intendeed to do that.

~○~○~○~○~○~○~○

After the tie of the voting he could see you were one step of breaking down. He could not take on how empy your eyes looked now, how you would shake from time to time, probably from the recent events.

He also took notice on how you havent touch your food at all.

Slowly he went towards you taking a seat besides you, not too close or too far.

"You need to eat" He started but got a shake from you.

"I feel like I will throw up anything if I try to eat now"

"Even if thats the case, give it a try you will need the streght"

"Why?" You asked finally looking at him "Why did we tie? Why does they want to keep playing after all of this?"

In-ho went quiet at your question, he could not give you an answer. Honestly maybe there was no answer to it, greed ? malice ? desesperation ? Anything could be the reason.

"I dont have a answer for that" He finally talked seeing how your face fall even more.

"But I can assure you something" He added "Look at me" He ordered softly and you did as told "I will assure your safety" He promised

You gave him one smile, one that did not reach your eyes.

"You cant assure that...but thanks. Thanks for protecting me in the last game and for what happened during last round..."

"You dont have to remember that" He said afraid you were going to see him different now

"No. Thank you" You cut him, looking at his face seeing the small suprise he got. "I know I should feel bad and god I do feel bad but, but you did it so we both could survive, thank you. I want you to know I dont see you any different from how I saw you before"

He did not respond to you, did not react at all. His mind was working like crazy, thinking how he could get you out.

How was he going to keep playing these games and using Gi-hun. How, when his heart now beating because of you. Because of how you saw him, how your eyes kept following him and how you expressed your thoughts.

Gradually he got closer to you, he moved in slow motion to not scare you, till he could pass his arm around your shoulders and pull you against his side. The two of you stayed there in silence for a few minutes each with their own thoughts, but In-ho had a strong objective now.

Protect you till the end.

[martian-astro10]

Astrology observations - Part 4 (use whole signs)

🌟 Moon in 4th is one of my favourite placements. These people usually have a good career, like an emotionally fulfilling one. They won't stay in a job that doesn't make them happy. Their mom can help them choose a career or give them interview tips.

🏮Mars in 2nd house people are so lucky when it comes to earning money, it's like, they get a new money making opportunity just when they're on their last penny. They're also not afraid to get their hands dirty and are willing to do almost anything, very hard working people. They're also the ones managing all the money in their family.

🌟 Mercury in 8th house people are the ones with a "sexy brain" like the WAY their mind works, are so good at analysing arguments and coming up with the best possible solution. Good debating skills. These people have great manifestation skills, I have a list of 100 + incidents, it's honestly a little scary. Can also develop clairvoyant abilities if they work on it.

🏮I haven't met a single non religious, Sun in 9th house person in my life. Even if they're not that religious in their younger years, they will be when they get older. Always willing to help others even when they themselves are suffering, my mom has this, and.....it pisses me off so bad. The "put your own oxygen mask on first" advice is for you all. Stop helping people, be selfish, it's not your duty to make everyone else's life better. My mom doesn't listen, but maybe you all will.

🌟 Venus in 11th house is a placement that's really good from a business perspective. They're great at negotiations so that's helpful. They won't like doing a regular 9 to 5 job as it will suppress their freedom and creativity. They will open their own business pretty early on in life, in like late 20's or early 30's. Great architects and interior designers. I remember when I made the architecture and astrology post, a lot of people had this.

🏮I haven't seen anyone talk about this, but moon in 6th house people can be really good leaders, they're very helpful and kind and their ability to understand emotions makes them extremely likable. They have more of a people oriented leadership style. They focus on building strong relationship with their group members or employees. Also, why are you all always sick 😭? Prone to anxiety and stress and this leads to body pain and digestive issues. Please put your health first.

🌟 It's really funny how ALL my friends, every single one, has Venus in 1st. I would say that rather than us being pretty, we're just very likable. Even if they're introvert or shy, they have a communication style that makes other people want to talk to them. It's just an aura thing, tbh. Also, they're huge people pleasers and will do their best not to offend anyone, like even if a person is being annoying, they won't say anything. (Mars in 1st can change this)

🏮 Jupiter in 2nd house is not good for marriage but great for career and friendships. I know people with this who are still in contact with their pre school friends. Their friends will help them in their career as well. They're intelligent but they think they're not, and this makes them lose a lot of opportunities. Need to have a little bit of courage to succeed in life.

🌟 Sun in 12th house people probably had a painful childhood (more so than others), if mercury is with sun in 12th, then they write poems to express this pain. They're good writers, and can be lyricists, authors, script/play writers, etc. these people are physically weak. Might also not know who they are, as in, not aware of their own personality traits.

🏮Saturn in 12th house people lack confidence when they're young, but become more confident as they get older and learn to get out of their comfort zone. These people have better luck outside of their homeland. This is a good placement if you want to become a psychologist as it gives you the ability to properly analyse those with mental disorders. They also look aloof most of the time. This is another placement that is good in terms of writing skills, many famous authors have this (those who write sad stuff)

© martian-astro All rights reserved, 2024

[ryukatters]

it's your fault for loving me — y. okkotsu ⁺˚⋆｡°✩

⟡ pairing: yuuta okkotsu x fem!reader

⟡ cw: /DARK CONTENT, /yandere! yuuta, /dubcon, /NONCON, ex-bf!yuuta, stalking, he breaks into your apartment, he /manhandles you (he’s strong), /implied babytrapping, /possessiveness, MINORS DNI

⟡ wc: 2.9k (someone sedate me)

⟡ song inspo: language by brent faiyaz

⟡ summary: Your ex boyfriend breaks into your apartment. What do you mean he needs to leave? He’s staying right here.

The slow, muffled drag of your feet ricochet off the hallway walls as you trudge along to your apartment. You fumble with your keys for a little bit, but find no resistance as you insert it into the slot. 

“Huh, that’s odd…I could’ve sworn I locked it.”

You chalk it up to exhaustion. You're only practically ever home to sleep due to the way you've been throwing yourself onto mission after mission. Even now, sleep is a luxury you can barely afford. You kick off your shoes lazily, not bothering putting them in their rightful place on the shoe rack. 

Maybe before, you would have cared more about keeping the house tidy. Or maybe before, your loving boyfriend would pamper and coddle you the minute you opened the front door, so you never had to worry about the little details like putting your shoes in the right place.

You were exhausted. 

You wanted nothing more than to wash up and plop down onto your soft, soft bed. You don’t even make it to your bedroom door before you pause, anxiety prickling your nerves. 

You sense him before you see him. Yuuta’s cursed energy has always had a tendency to seep out whenever he was around you. Whether it’s a testament to how he’s able to fully relax in your presence or a display of raw power, you’re not sure. 

"You're home," a certain black-haired sorcerer chirps. "How was your mission?"

In the past, simply hearing Yuuta’s voice would be enough to melt away the pent up stress from a hard day of exorcizing curses. It’d soothe your aching muscles and tired soul as you let yourself be enveloped by the weight of his affection. But right now, it did everything except that. 

The shiver of excitement that used to run down your spine is replaced by trepidation caused by the only person who used to be able to comfort you. 

You know better than to ask how he knew you were on a mission, much less ask how he managed to break into your apartment. It seems he's been in here for a while, with the way he seems to have made himself at home on your bed, much like the way he used to before. 

"Why are you here?"

The question makes him sit up. 

“Because I missed you. Is that so bad?”

You want to laugh. The whole situation is all sorts of fucked up, and the two of you are talking about it the same way one would the weather.

“Yuuta, we broke up 2 months ago,” you press, vexation lacing your words. You could never imagine yourself using that tone on him. Yuuta’s always been so meticulous in loving you, in making sure you were happy.  He’s never given you a reason to be upset with him. But that was then, and this was now. 

You could say whatever you wanted to say. You were tired and definitely not in the mood to deal with a supposed burglar that happens to be in the form of your ex-boyfriend.

“I don’t remember agreeing to that,” he says simply.

“You walked out on me!”

“Because I thought you needed some space. And now I’m back. But I never said we were breaking up.” 

Space was an extremely generous term for what Yuuta gave you. If you could consider watching your every move from a distance, keeping tabs on who you talk to, and making sure you stay out of trouble secretly, “space.” He would never let you know that though. It’s too much, too soon.

He couldn't help it, not when his precious baby could get hurt. He’d never forgive himself if that happened.

“Come and sit, my love. You look so tired.” He pats the space next to him. You will your heart not to flutter at the familiar nickname. 

Your body moves before your brain can catch up. It’s almost like listening to him was muscle memory. You pause in your step, cross your arms, and glare at him. 

“Leave, Yuuta. I don’t want to see you.” The words rise from the very depths of your soul and spill out of your mouth like bile, burning and spiteful. It hurts to speak to him like this, even after he’d abandoned you with no hopes of return. 

“Sit, love.” A little more demanding this time. “I’m not repeating myself again.” 

The tension in the air is palpable, so thick you can cut it with a knife.

You take a seat. Yuuta doesn’t miss a beat before he has his hands on you. 

“Missed you,” his hand reaches out to cup your jaw, thumb rubbing against the plushness of your cheek. 

You’ve always been so soft, it’s one of the things Yuuta loves the most about you. 

You flinch. Blame it on the adrenaline coursing through your body like wildfire. Your fight or flight response is shot. Yuuta’s touch seems to rewrite everything that’s been hardwired into your brain. 

He presses a chaste kiss to your temple, before moving down to kiss the tip of your nose, and both of your cheeks. Each press of his lips leaves feels like it’s being seared into your flesh, a metaphorical branding iron of sorts— to show that you’re Yuuta’s and Yuuta’s only. 

Your mind goes blank when he sucks a kiss into the side of your neck, whimpering pathetically as he grazes his teeth along the sensitive skin. 

“We can’t do this,” you assert, but the words get stuck in your throat, so it comes out more as a whiny sigh. Your body seems to have a tendency to betray you when it comes to him.

“But we can,” Yuuta coos, pushing you down until your back is flat against the mattress. He takes both of your hands in his, lifting them up until they’re above your head, effectively pinning you in place. “We’re doing it right now, aren’t we?” 

Yuuta can appear pretty unassuming to outsiders. He’s quiet, reserved, almost meek. If one were to take a closer look, however, they’d realize that beneath that unostentatious front was a more commanding aura, one that forces you to submit to his whims with his sweet tongue and sensuous touches. Perfectly calculated, perfectly executed. 

"I fucking hate you,” you spit, thrashing against his hold, but to no avail. 

"No you don't,” Yuuta shuts you down with conviction. Like it’s the absolute truth— the kind that can’t be twisted or broken. It almost feels like he’s chastising you for thinking otherwise. “Take that back right now.”

To be honest, hearing those words stung more than any physical blow you could have ever landed on him. Has he not shown you enough love? Or have you already forgotten? 

Isn’t what you have pure love? 

A hand wraps around your neck, lithe fingers inching up before they grip your jaw, forcing you to look at him.  “I said,” blunt fingernails digging into your skin, “take it back.”

You sputter out an apology with teary eyes, an odd mix of humiliation and regret seeping into your bones, stomach swirling with shame and to your horror, a tinge of anticipation. 

It’s pathetic, really, how easily you give in. 

“Now give me a kiss, sweetheart.” Yuuta bridges the gap between the two of you. He presses his already throbbing bulge against your clothed pussy, moaning into your mouth appreciatively.

You feel so dizzy you think you might explode. 

Yuuta makes quick work of the buttons on your uniform, releasing your wrists so he can throw the offending garment and all your underthings beneath it to some random corner of the room. 

Calloused hands roam your body, squeezing and groping, as if to map out the cartography of your flesh, committing each peak and valley to memory. He watches in fascination how your skin bristles with goosebumps in the wake of his touch. 

He ignores your pleading cries and attempts to push him off. Yuuta is being driven by pure instinct alone. That sick, twisted voice in his head that he’s always tried to suppress whispers. It goads him on to take what he wants, to make sure you remember that you’re his, and his alone. 

He knows that you haven’t been seeing anyone. You were always so loyal, even when you were upset with him. Anyone who did try was taken care of the minute they left your sight. 

It’s been far too long since he’s had you. His desire fills him with a sort of quiet rage, one that metamorphoses into something darker, more sinister and morose the longer he goes without you. Almost like a curse that’s gone far too long without feeding. 

Yuuta Okkotsu loves you to the point of madness.

He thinks he might literally implode in on himself any second longer without you.

It’s almost laughable how different the two of you are. An ethereal beauty too good for this world, yet here you were in between the legs of a cursed man with too much love than he knows what to do with. 

“Yuuta, please,” you cry out. You flail your legs in an attempt to kick Yuuta off. He catches both with ease, throwing them over his shoulder to slide your bottoms off, leaving you completely bare. 

He can’t suppress the groan that tumbles past his lips. You’re even more beautiful than he remembers. 

You’re dewy eyed and gasping, nails clawing at his forearms and beating at his chest in a last ditch effort to stand your ground. Nothing can deter him. 

Yuuta could easily heal himself if he wanted to. But the angry red welts and blossoming hues of purple on his pale skin are a badge of honor of the utmost prestige. It’s undeniable proof that you’re real, that his love for you isn’t just a fragment of his imagination, and that none of this was just some pipe dream. He could take a little pain if that meant you got to be his. 

He’s always been yours without any reservations. 

“You can cry if you want, if it helps,” he says genuinely, but the gleam in his eyes shifts into something predatory. “But you should know you’re really fucking wet.” As if to prove a point, he slowly fucks his middle finger into your weeping hole, then his index, then his ring. They curl up to rub against that spongy spot just the way you like. 

You let out a sharp gasp, spine arching off the mattress. 

You tried to ignore him—detach yourself from the whole situation, let him get his fill, and be done with this whole ordeal. But it’s Yuuta— the man has a grasp on both the corporal and spiritual parts of you that you can’t bring yourself to understand. It seems like he knows you better than you know yourself sometimes. And right now, he’s managed to make a home in all five of your senses. There’s no escape. He's made sure of that. 

He pulls out his fingers with a lewd squelch. A clear sheen of liquid coats every digit, stringy as he parts them to show you. He smiles knowingly.

“You keep fighting me, but it turns out you want it after all, sweetheart.” 

Your cheeks burn in humiliation. Whether it’s from the situation at hand or the truth behind his words, you’re not too sure. 

“Don’t you know?” Yuuta rasps, fingers going back to work their way inside you rhythmically, bringing you closer and closer to the precipice, paying special attention to how you try to mask how your face contorts in pleasure. 

He presses his forehead against yours, willing you to look at him wordlessly. “I know what’s best for you. I know what you want. And right now, this little pussy wants to be fucked. Isn’t that right, my love?” 

He’s met with a breathless moan. You’re so close. Tears threaten to fall as your chest heaves in exertion, trying not to teeter off the edge too soon. 

You look so pathetic it’s insane. Yuuta swears he can feel his mouth water in anticipation for what’s bound to come next. He thrusts his fingers with calculating speed and precision, the heel of his palm slapping against your neglected clit just right. 

He leans down right when you cum, lips catching yours as you moan into his mouth. Satisfaction swells in his chest as your slick drips down his wrist. 

“You’re ready.” 

Yuuta unbuttons his pants, pulling it down just enough for his cock to spring free, tip slapping his abdomen as it leaks with precum. He fists it, jerking his hand up and down his length. He slaps it against your clit once, twice, and a third time before he slips it inside your weeping hole. 

Your walls spasm around his cock to accommodate his sheer size and girth, struggling a bit more than usual. You feel so full. It’s been far too long since he’s fucked you. You claw at his lower abdomen, trying to make space between the two of you. It’s all too much, all at once. Yuuta won’t have it. He slips his hands under your sweaty thighs, pinning your ankles on either side of your head, effectively folding you in half. You cry out at the stretch.

“Always take me so well, angel.” 

He sets a steady pace, dragging his cock in, pulling out, and then back in with an absurd amount of force. The sound of skin on skin ricochets against your bedroom walls like a sort of cacophonous symphony. You don’t get the luxury of the sweet, slow thrusts he usually blesses you with, while he coos about how good you are for him. 

“Where’s all that attitude from earlier? Am I making you feel that good?” 

You glower, refusing to acknowledge the fact that your body betrays your mind— that Yuuta’s bringing you closer and closer to nirvana the further he drags you down into hell. 

He slides his hand down your tummy, rubbing your clit in time with his thrusts.

“Yuuta—!” You clench around his length, hurtling towards your second orgasm quickly. 

“You’re so greedy. Cumming again already?” 

He’s met with silence. He’ll forgive your transgressions this time around. He’ll just have to teach you how to be his good girl again. 

A particularly rough thrust has you choking back a moan.

“Thought so. Cum for me, sweetheart.”

Your peak hits you like a crashing wave. Your body tenses, leaving you gasping for air as you clench around Yuuta’s cock. You cry out deliriously, falling apart as Yuuta continues to pound into you. It’s too much, but you can’t pull away even if you tried. You’re stuck.

“I’m the only one that can make you feel this way, understand?” He grits his teeth, staving off his release just a little longer. He fucks you through your orgasm thoroughly as he chases his own. 

He presses all of his body weight on top of you, your legs on either side of his head as he folds you into a mating press. He groans at the change in position, allowing him to fuck into you even deeper. 

Realization cuts through your cloudy judgment like a sword. 

“Yuuta— Yuuta, please. Pull out–!” 

Your pleas fall on deaf ears. He’s rambling now, intoxicated by all you have to offer, yet you’re the one paying the price. The effects of overstimulation are taking over now, your body twitching involuntarily with each thrust. 

“I’m not leaving you, ever. It’s just you and me.” 

You shake your head in objection, mind too hazy to voice out any resistance. Tears well up, threatening to spill from your lash line. 

Yuuta nods with a grin, canines glinting, just like a predator that’s caught its prey. “It’s true, sweetheart. I’ll make sure of it. Say I’m it for you. That I’m the only one.” 

“Say it.” 

“You’re it for me, Yu. The only one.” You babble, tears streaming freely now. 

You feel the moment he reaches his plateau— the way his dick twitches inside of you right before your walls are being painted white with splashes of Yuuta’s hot cum. 

Your fate’s been sealed. 

He fucks into you a few more times, heavy balls slapping against your ass as he rides out his orgasm. A white ring wraps around the base of his cock, the copious amounts of seed he’s poured into you threatening to leak out. 

Yuuta doesn’t bother pulling out. In a quick show of dexterity and freak strength, he manages to flip the both of you so that your positions are switched, with you lying on top of Yuuta’s chest. The steady beat of his heart fills your mind. 

Your entire body is on fire. You feel numb. You let yourself be carried away by the prospect of sleep, hoping that you’ll wake up to find that this was all just some wild fragment of your imagination.  

He presses a hand against your head, like he was afraid you’d pull away and ruin whatever fantasy he’s deluded himself into believing. 

The simple truth is– Yuuta Okkotsu loves you. And he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that no one else gets in the way of that. 

He runs his hand up and down your bare back lovingly, admiring your spent form. You’ve always been so soft. So pliant, so willing to give in to his desires. 

It’s the thing that Yuuta loves most about you. 

a/n: i had to reupload bc this hellsite sucks. hopefully this shows up in the tags now

tagging @princess-okkotsu again hehe

[crystallilytarot]

What is no longer serving you in the new year? What should you change /let go of? Choose a Christmas candy!

Pile 1

Don't underestimate yourself please! You should work on your confidense and love yourself more. Prioritize selfcare and believe in yourself! You are way more smarter and talented than you think. If things are not perfect, it's okay, see the good things in every moment. If there's a hard situation, it's time to choose. Probably non of the options are perfect, but you will be able to manage it. Think about it, write down the pros and cons, but you should decide which way you want to go. You should be more playful too, even childish, if that makes you happy. Just feel free, happy, have faith, be more optimistic.

Pile 2

If you are thinking about leaving a job, changing your university major, moving to another city, you probably should do it, it will bring good things and relief to your life. This can be about ending a bad relationship with a toxic person, having boundaries, speaking your truth, don't let others take advantage of you anymore! But be open, you will probably have new and better company with you soon. I think you will be in your boss era, a high value person, maybe really being in a high position too. You can spend money for yourself, treat yourself, it's not selfish. You can enjoy life in any way you want to.

Pile 3

You should prioritize your mental well-being, your health. I think your situation isn't that bad as you think, it's just your anxiety or the stress. But even if it seems hard now, please keep going, it will be better soon. There's some old beliefs that doesn't serve you anymore, can be negative people too. The truth is, you have so many values and good things in you! You should trust in the Universe and in yourself too, and listen to your intuition, you have good psychic abilities. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need to, but also you will probably have some people who will be your mentor, your helper.

[pinkshortbread]

Can you do members of the tulpar with a partner who struggles with mental health issues (like depression or something of the sort), if it makes it easier for you to only do one of the tulpar members tho that’s fine !! love your writing btw ^_^

Thank you so much for your feedback ! 😭💞

For the moment, I only write for Curly, Daisuke and Anya. I hope you all don't mind. Maybe later for Swansea, I'm uncomfortable with writing about Jimmy (even though I like how written he is, eh I don't even need to justify myself why I don't want to write for him, anyway-) 😔✌️

WARNING : MDNI ; May triggers some people ; Sensitive Subjects.

[How do the members of the Tulpar cope with their partner who struggles with mental health issues ?]

Due to personal experience, I have chosen anxio-depression. When you went on broad the Tulpar : you lied about your condition to protect yourself from losing your job. In fact, Pony Express used to be precise and kept an eye on mental health issues but now, it's not quite the case (unfortunately).

💫 Curly 💫

Curly noticed some details : you felt restless, you had trouble sleeping. That's why you went to the lounge pretty late at night to pass the time.

"Curly ? Why are you here ?" "I should return the question Love." "Trouble sleeping, but I'm okay." It ticked something inside Curly's chest, you weren't okay. Everytime he left the cockpit to go to sleep to his quarter, you were here : your eyes on the screen, in your own world, looking tired, drowned in your thoughts.

He sat next to you, placing his hand onto your thigh, rubbing sweet circles to soothe the stress feeling you were breathing out. "I'm sorry, but I know you're not..."

The next thing you did is throwing yourself into his arms. You cried, cried so much into his shoulders, confessing to him that you were struggling with your depression on broad the Tulpar, that you lied about your issues, you didn't even talk about it with Anya. You were lost, you didn't know what to do. That only built up your anxiety you already tried to control. It was unbearable for you to keep everything to yourself.

And Curly listened. He listened to everything you said : your had trouble to manage the little of energy you had, you didn't know how to feel positive, your sleeping schedule is completely broken...

He kept your crying form close and tight to him, almost afraid of losing his partner and companion. He is the only one who were able to listen and feel what you felt at the right moment, he did it perfectly.

"I lied to everyone about it, even you !" "No you didn't, you kept to yourself and you needed to let go. But I'm here and I'm not dissapointed by you. I love you"

Let's just say, not too short after that, you asked him if he could sleep with you in your quarter after your confession. He accepted.

🌺 Daisuke 🌺

Daisuke didn't notice at first, but : sometimes you where quite irritable to him, which questionned him but he couldn't put his finger on it, maybe you were nervous about the "not being on Earth situation", was he wrong ? But one day, you stormed into his room, sliding and opening his door wide.

"Daisuke..." You started crying as you fidgeted your fingers nervously. "I'm sorry, I've been awful to you..."

As he turned his head to see you crying, his door completely open. Your cries started to resonate inside the Tulpar. He rushed to you, closing his door behind you in the process and cupping your cheek. "No no no, baby what's wrong ?"

Between your cries and hiccups, you told him about your mental health, that you've been struggling even more with your stupid job and that you felt like it started to ruin your relationship, your medication started to run low due to a debut of an anxiolytic addiction. It was bad.

"Shit, baby, I didn't know about that..." Daisuke felt helpless about your issue but : "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better ? Food ? Video games ? Cuddles ? We can take the whole night if you want to talk about it, I can't leave you like that..."

"I don't want it to ruin our relationship-" Suddenly, Daisuke grabbed you by your hips, bringing you even closer to him. "Don't you dare to say that again Boo, I still love you."

💧 Anya 💧

Due to the fact that Anya is the nurse of the whole crew, you told her about your mental health way longer before your relationship started. But one day, you didn't show yourself to the psych eval. It was very unusual from you.

Anya decided to look for you around the Tulpar, questionning everybody. They didn't see you, so you must be in your quarter.

And there she saw you, sitting on your bed and staring at the floor. "Oh no Honey..." She faced you, sitting in front of you. "You weren't ready for your psych eval today ?" You nodded.

You needed some time to talk about it with her, when job and personnal issues start to bond together that's where the problems start you told yourself. Anya told you that it couldn't be an issue, but your thoughts were louder than her voice.

Anya brought her hands to your calves as she layed her head onto your lap. "It's going to be okay, I'm here. You don't have to talk about it, you are not alone." Her words sounded right, you shoulders relaxed. Your hands meets her hair, your fingers intertwined with her strands. You let out a big sigh.

"I love you..." Anya looked up at you, some tears rolled onto your cheeks. You didn't want to lose her. Her look softened. "Oh, I love you too, so so much... Don't forget that..."

For the first time, you heard her.

[nicoliharu]

Good morning! First time interacting with this blog. I was wondering of you have any Headcanons for Idia Shroud?? Like, if you draw him, do you have anything you always include in the design or leave out? By the way, LOVED seeing your Ruggie Bucchi design.

Hi dear! WELCOME! 🥺💗💗💗

I'm glad you liked my Ruggie Bucchi design, it was very simple but I don't have very elaborate headcanons, the same goes for Idia, I would just change the values a little, I think he's very vibrant/clear? I don't know how to express myself correctly about this in English.

⚠️ My headcanons Idia Shroud:

I don't know what it's like for everyone, but I wanted his pale skin to be a little darker to make the shine in his hair more evident. It's been 3 years since I drew Idia and I looked at my old drawings to understand what I liked to do when I was his stan… Yes, that was real 🤡

💀 Slightly ''pointy'' ears: I like this little distortion, I didn't make it obvious in the drawing, but it's not like Malleus and Lilia's ears for example, it would be extremely subtle. I know Hades is a God but let me imagine Idia's ears are slightly ''pointed''. 💀 Marked pigmented dark circles: Let's take into account that Idia hasn't been well since he was a child and I imagine how he must have problems with insomnia and hyperfocus without rest. Then I see him with obvious circles under his eyes from tiredness. 💀 Bitten nails: He has anxiety, I put my hand on his head during a bad game to confirm this, so one of his habits is biting his nails. 💀 Mouth/teeth: For me, his lips are also injured due to the habit of biting them during a crisis, stress, or discomfort. It's not a detail that is also in the drawing but I imagine like this. 💀 Hair: In the official art it would be straight with the movement of the flames? but since 2021 I noticed that I like to think his hair is flaming wavy. He doesn't take care of it properly, so loose, tied up, and tied however he likes it is fine. 💀 About the earring: This is personal for me but I don't think Idia cares about accessories to the point of piercing and wearing it but I like to think that Ortho gives him some clip-on accessories, earrings, piercings, and necklaces, he will use them if Ortho insist a lot. 💀 Body: Bad posture, I don’t need to explain why, right? It's not because he's intelligent, skilled, and rich that he'll remember to be straight enough 24 hours a day to not ruin his own spine. I bet your posture is also wrong, straighten up!

Forgive me for the grammar mistakes, I hope I managed to express myself correctly. My headcanons for Idia are simple and more behavioral, I personally really like his design and would change small things if I drew him very often. But who knows, maybe in the future I will change more? I guess that's the fun of headcanons 💗💗💗

Thank you very much for your ask dear, it's been a long time since I last drew Idia and I hope you liked it 💌💟❣️

[liiixsturniolos]

•°○ THE LAKE ○°•

Matt Sturniolo

⚠︎ Warnings: angst, lots of fluff and cute moments, bf!matt x "y/n" reader

: Y/n overthinks an argument, Matt reassures her, and later, they make up and swim in the lake.

You and your boyfriend Matt were at the lake. You loved to go there every time you guys visited Boston. It was so calming for the both of you, looking out at the empty, calm, swaying blue water.

This time It wasn't calming. Matt was mad. Chris has been pissing him off all day long, just with little annoying brother stuff. Matt took it seriously though, to heart, and was getting more pissed off by every dumb comment Chris made.

Matt had to get away from him. He walked down to the dock and sat on the edge, staring off into the winding water.

"Hi matt!" You shriek out and run toward him, reaching out to hug him, a smile running across your face.

"No." He nudges off your hug, declining it.

Your smile drops immediately. What the fuck is his problem.

You stand there, kind of in shock. Wondering if you should speak, or maybe he's mad at you? You work up a little courage and blurt out "What's wrong?" With a slight shake in your voice.

"Doesn't matter. Can you leave me alone?" He says rudely. With a tone which made it sound like you were an annoyance to him.

"Oh..okay, yeah,sure.." You mumble with uncertainty. You slowly stroll away. Fighting all your urges to go back and ask him what's wrong. But you know you shouldn't ask, he told you to leave him alone so you do.

He spends an hour out on the Dock, mindlessly staring into the water. You got kind of freaked out by it, starting to overthink what was wrong with him.

What if he was going to break up with you? What did you do to make him upset?

These questions were all stupid, of course. You didn't do anything wrong, but your mind wanted you to believe you had. Anxiety swirled around your body, like the cold lake water, rushing to your head.

You sat there on the scuffed up old couch at the cabin, your thoughts relentless and taunting. You couldn't take it anymore. "Shit," you whisper, lifting up your numb legs and getting off the couch.

You start to walk, then stop, then start again, unsure, worried, shaking a little. You eventually get to the dock, Matts still sat there. As he was an hour ago. You could barely see him in the blueish hazy moonlight.

"Matt." You say, your voice shaky and nervy.

"What?" He asks.

You clear your throat before speaking, and a wave of anxiety floods through your body violently, causing you to twitch slightly.

"I'm sorry, I am. Whatever I did wrong. I don't know what I did, but I'm so sorry, Matt." You blurt out as fast as possible, merging some of the words together, trying to get it over with.

"What..?" He asks, turning back to look at you.

You panic. You couldn't tell through his tone of voice if he was confused or angry. His eyes were on you and you weren't sure what to say next.

"Um. I- I, I, I'm trying to apologise for whatever I did. You know. To annoy you." You stutter.

"Oh my god. Oh. Fuck. I'm sorry Y/n I really am. Shit. You did nothing wrong." He insists.

You sigh and gasp in relief. The flood of nerves rushed out of your head, you realised now how fucking dumb you looked, and the fact he wasn't mad at you was good, but you were suddenly aware of how much you overthought it all, and kind of wished he was mad at you now.

"Oh. That's good." You say with a blank expression. You had convinced yourself and worked yourself up so much you didn't know what else to say.

"I'm sorry, y/n. I was just so stressed today because of last week, the meeting I had with my manager, and Chris' annoying ass just pissed me off so bad today that I had to come out here to calm down." Matt explains, his brows burying into his forehead, searching for words. "Really, I didn't mean to act like this to you or be rude, I just was so stressed."

"Oh. Damn I really overthought all this shit didn't I." You chuckle awkwardly, embarrassed about this all.

"No! No, y/n you really didn't! I get it. I do this stuff, too. I acted weird and distant. Honestly, it's not your fault, baby." He insists and smiles lightly at you.

You smile back softly.

"Y/n..." he whispers at you in a playful tone, walking closer.

"Yeah?" You smirk and look into his blinding blue eyes.

He giggles, lifts you off of the floor, and into his arms. "Swim with meeee!" He asks.

You laugh, "it's like 11 pm, Matt!"

"So? He chuckles, spinning around and rocking you in his arms.

"Matt, be careful! You're gonna drop me in the lake!" You giggle.

"Would that be so bad?" He questions in a giggly tone.

He puts you back down gently, smiling at you, and looking down at your face, analysing every feature.

"Let's jump in the lake." He says abruptly.

You look at him, shocked. He usually doesn't do spontaneous things like this.

"I'm gonna do it." He says, taking off his shirt.

"Matt, really?" You laugh at him. There's no way he's going to really do it.

He jumps into the lake, moving his arms around and warming up. "Ahhhh y/n a fish touched me!" He screams out.

You start laughing uncontrollably and decide to jump in, too, lifting your shirt and shorts off.

Your body hits the water, and you sink through the surface of the warm water and come back up toward Matt. He grabs you gently and pulls you closely up to his bare chest.

"Y/n?" He asks.

"Yeah, Matt?" You reply, gazing up at his face.

"I love you." He whispers into your ear.

You freeze. Wow. That's the first time he's ever said that to you. But it feels right.

"I love you too." You whisper lightly, smiling at hm.

He smirks, you can tell he had been waiting to say something for a while, his face lit up when you said it back.

He brushes his hand up onto your face, holds your jaw, lifts your head up to look into his eyes again, moves his face down toward yours, kisses you slowly, and sweetly, running his hands through your soft hair.

You kiss him back, wanting to stay in this moment forever.

HEYYY! TYSM FOR READING MY 2ND EVER STORY! PLEASE INTERACT WITH MY POST AND FOLLOW IF YOU LIKED IT! leave requests for new stories in my inbox!!

[dilfluvrr10]

Joost x music journalist!reader where joost invites them for a show and they thinks its for work but actually he did it bc he likes them 🤭

Guysss I just wrote thisss. This is my first fanfiction I've ever written, pls pls pls feel free to send through any feedback good and bad. I really hope I managed to satisfy your request. Thank you <3

Lmk if you're interested in a Part 2

╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮ The Interview ╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

I looked through my closet unsure of what to wear, do I go concert or casual tonight? This was going to be huge for my career, interviewing THE Joost Klein, so of course I was stressing over every detail. I settled on a classic little black dress, nothing too much, enough to make a good first impression. I glanced at the time repeatedly while doing my makeup, the closer it crept to 7:00pm, the more anxiety started eating at me. I packed my bag and drove to the venue, practicing each and every question, my facial expressions, my laugh, my smile, every detail. I admit, Joost was an attractive man, a confident man, and a great musician, maybe that’s why I was so worked up. That’s definitely why I was so worked up. I’d been following Joost’s career before his stardom reached an all time high after Eurovision, I had to remind myself to keep my composure and leave any fangirling behind.

When I received the invitation I was absolutely thrilled, jumping up and down like I was a teenage girl again. However, it was different from the usual press releases I’ve received, addressed to me specifically instead of my publication. Despite my usual professional demeanour, I couldn’t help but feel a flutter of excitement. When I finally arrived at the venue my anticipation only intensified. I glanced in the rear view mirror one last time, ensuring every hair was in place, took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. I had been instructed to enter through the same way production entered and meet Joost in the green room before he was expected on stage. Backstage was buzzing, ensuring everything for tonight’s performance was perfect. I navigated through the organized chaos, my heart pounding with each step closer to the green room.

There he was sitting around a table laughing and joking with his friends in Dutch. “Heyyy you’re here! I’m so happy you came”, his signature smile plastered on his face causing one of my own in response. He told his friends we were doing an interview and to so kindly leave, each one greeting me with that European charm before exiting the room. He gestured for me to sit down where comfortable. He sat loosely on the couch, adorned in black jeans, a white button up paired with a black tie and his signature thick rimmed glasses and gloves to tie it all together. God black was his colour. His cuffs rolled up, revealing a scatter of tattoos on his forearms and biceps. I sat on the chair closest to him but not on the couch next to him, trying to keep it as professional as possible. I really wanted to squeal, ask him for a photo and tell him all about how much his music resonated with me.

“Thank you so much for the invitation, I really appreciate this Joost”, my nerves slipped away as we began talking, his energy warm and inviting. “No, no, I’ve wanted to meet you for a while now actually…” his words hung in the air, his eyes darted around my face as if he was unsure how I would react. “Really, you know me?” I was stunned by the idea of Joost being aware of my work. A soft smile played at the corners of his lips as he nodded. “You’re works amazing, you have this way of talking to people that just…opens them up, you know?”, the sincerity of his words hit me hard. My heart fluttered and I felt my professionalism slowly decay. He shifted in his seat adjusting his pants and clearing his throat. He was feeling the change of mood too. As I thought of something to say to change the subject I noticed his gaze kept falling to my lap. My dress had lifted a bit, my thighs exposed a little. I began to feel hot and bothered, my cheeks burning red, his subtle smirk didn’t escape my notice, only adding to my discomfort. He clocked on to my embarrassment, shamefully, it fed him with confidence. “I used to watch your videos on YouTube, when you were working independently. Seeing you now here in front of me…you’ve really, grown up” he cooed with a meaning I couldn’t quite grasp. I cleared my throat, trying to shake off the rush of heat that grew in my body. “Thank you Joost, that means a lot coming from you,” I replied, hoping to steer the conversation back to professional grounds. “So, how are you feeling about tonight’s concert? Any pre-show rituals?”

He chuckled, the sound sultry and pleasant. “Just hanging out with my friends, like you saw. We try to keep it light and fun. Music is about connecting with people, so I try to keep that spirit alive before I go on stage.” I nodded, jotting down notes even though I recorded interviews on my phone. It was more to keep my hands busy and give me something to focus on other than his heavy gaze. Our conversation flowed easily after that, and the interview wrapped up nicely. He stood up, offering his hand to help me up from the chair. His touch was warm, lingering just a moment longer than necessary. “I’m glad we finally got to meet,” his eyes held mine for a heartbeat longer before he glanced away, a hint of shyness creeping into his demeanour.

Just then, one of his crew members popped their head into the room, announcing that it was time for Joost to get ready. He turned to me, his smile back in full force. “Enjoy the show. I’ll make sure you have a great view.”

I smiled back, my heart fluttering again. “I’m sure I will.”

[bleedingoptimism]

𝑜𝑚𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠

Steve loves his roommate. He’s funny and witty and knows so much about everything. And he’s kind of an asshole, but in a good way. Like, he doesn't take shit from anyone way. He would never hurt someone on purpose and he apologizes immediately if he does, kind of way.

When Steve first moved in with him, Eddie was kind of quiet and reserved, but once they started talking, getting to know each other, he showed just how wonderful he was. So, Steve really liked Eddie. The problem was… Steve kind of liked-liked Eddie. But he had no idea if Eddie liked him back. 

Until… he noticed Eddie’s nightly pauses outside his bedroom. 

The thing is, Steve has always had trouble sleeping. He’s never managed to just fall asleep when he hits the bed, it always takes a while and he sleeps very lightly. Usually waking up at least once in the middle of the night. But it’s fine, he’s used to it and he doesn't need much sleep to function properly, so he’s managed. 

The problem is, sometimes, when he’s stressed or anxious about something, he doesn't sleep at all. It's awful and it stresses him out even more. 

When he was in high school, he was in the middle of a really bad episode when he finally decided to talk to his father about it to see if there was something he could do to help. Silly Steve, thought maybe his dad would take him to a doctor but he just told him to lay down and pretend to be asleep until he actually was, so that his body would get the rest anyway and not shut down. Not exactly helpful.

Steve worked through his anxiety for having sleeping problems by doing yoga a couple of years after that. But, for some reason, when he can’t sleep, he still does what his dad told him. And pretends to be asleep.

So that's why he noticed Eddie stopping by his door every night. He didn't catch it right away. The first time he’d heard Eddie come home, drop his keys on the kitchen counter, and stroll down the hall to his room, it wasn't until he started moving again that Steve noticed he had stopped outside his door. 

He figured there had to be an explanation and put the thought aside but the next night, he did it again. And the next. And the next.

And Steve… Steve started looking forward to it. Playing with it a bit. Trying to figure out what underwear made Eddie stay the longest, laying in the bed in positions that he knew made him look good. He started wondering if Eddie would ever… come inside his room. If he could make him do it. Tempt him enough.

He realized too, that he was sleeping well again. That he always fell asleep right after Eddie looked at him and left for his room. And wasn't that something?

During the day, they both acted the same and nothing seemed weird. But during the night. Steve waited for Eddie, and Eddie looked.

And then, a couple of weeks into it, Steve is lying on his bed, waiting for Eddie to come home and his mind starts wandering, and he fantasies about Eddie, walking inside his room, looking at him from up close, waking him up with a soft touch of his knuckles on Steve’s cheek only for Steve to be already awake, waiting for him. He imagines Eddie touching him everywhere. Telling Steve what parts are the ones he stares at the most. What are the parts he wants to lick. To bite. 

Steve doesn't realize he’s hard until he hears the door open and he freezes, he can’t run to his door and shut it, there’s no time, the apartment it’s too small! Eddie will be here in no time. And he can't turn around and face the wall because he’ll make noise, Eddie will hear. So he just pretends to be asleep, as usual. Except he’s hard and he knows it's evident because he’s wearing his tight white boxers Eddie seems to like the most and they leave nothing to the imagination. He hopes Eddie will just think Steve is dreaming or something.

And he trains his ear, nervously trying to hear every step as Eddie walks down the hall. And stops in front of his door.

And he hears the softest ‘fuck’ like it was punched out of him. And then nothing. Eddie is just standing there, and Steve knows he’s looking at him. And he stays a while, the longer he’s ever stayed and Steve, he’s getting more and more turned on and he keeps hoping he’ll hear the footsteps come closer and not away. His dick twitches at the thought and he hears Eddie gasp and then the footsteps… Away from him, toward Eddie’s room. 

Steve turns to lie on his back and huffs. He needs to make a decision. To either stop this before it gets worse or... Do something about it. And then he hears it. A couple of minutes after Eddie shut his door. A muffled moan. Jesus Fucking Christ. Steve is lying on his bed, hard and thinking about Eddie, and Eddie is touching himself, thinking about him. This is ridiculous. 

He comes to a decision. Tomorrow. He’s doing something about it.

𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑖𝑛𝑢𝑒𝑑

a coffee? while we wait... ☕🥐💕

(first part) 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠

(you are here!) 𝑜𝑚𝑔 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑦 𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑒 𝑟𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑠

(last past) 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛