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Had a dream last night where I was escorting sis to the airport since she was going to Japan with her best friend. The airport was just old huge tower which has been rebuild from spare parts after an accident which had happened decades ago. For example there were old rusty fire ladders as stairs.

Sky was covered with black clouds but behind the tower was setting sun which colored horizon red. It was beautiful yet unsettling. To my right, when facing the sunset, was a bit greenish gray horizon and there was 3 huge tornadoes. 2 of them was more on the right while third was coming towards them from the left. The shape of them was off some. From the ground came short straight part, then there was "ball" shaped part, another straight part before tornadoes started to wider towards the clouds.

They made no sounds and there was no wind overall. We don't have tornadoes in Finland but I still do find them fascinating, really liking their forms and strength.

I need to do some more googling about red sunset's and tornadoes' spiritual meaning. Red sunset, so far, could mean something is coming to an end while tornadoes symbolize emotions which are starting to become overwhelming (fear, stress, anxiety etc).

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For ONCE AliExpress is recommending me stuff what I honestly and truly would NEED and WANT! :'D

But the price... sob sob sob... I can only dream about such money...

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Had a dream last night where I was laying on my back on bed, waking up. Verti was on my right side, like always. He noticed I woke up, instantly getting up with soft purr. He walked past my head on my pillow, circling to my left before climbing on my chest / stomach, facing me, having this happy expression on his face as he kept purring ❤️

He did all this even then when he was still with me. Having him visit me like this, in such familiar way... It's bringing happy tears in my eyes. I've been missing him recently a lot, crying silently under the blanket each night for few weeks.

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This is beautifully insane! I never knew you could do this to egg shells! :O

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Snowdrops at All Saint's Church, Huntington, York, England.

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Another hilarious moment in Nu Carnival :D

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I didn't know Ling Tong's Japanese Voice Actor has died about 8 months ago! :O That's just... Wow... And so, so sad!

I need to burn very late candle for his memory and as a huge thanks of his amazing voice acting ❤️

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SLEEPING HILICHURL'S SNORING SOUNDS LIKE BIG FAT CAT'S PURRING! ❤️ MY HEART! ❤️

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Had a dream where I met 2 cats. They looked like my Verti and Minna, but the boy cat was much more chubby than Verti was. He also spoke to me telepathically. This white cat, apparently girl, didn't like him. She hissed at him and hit him with her paws and claws and he didn't understand why. He just wanted to sleep next to her, get along with her.

I told him he's approaching her all wrong. When she was sleeping, he always went to sniff her tail and butt and she didn't like it at all. I told him this, saying he should approach her head and face, let her sniff him back too. He tries this, felt heck uncomfortable when she sniffed his face but eventually she was happy, settling down to sleep next to him and he was so happy!

At the end of the dream they both came to me so that I could pet them. He said he was so happy I was in their lives (he translated her thoughts to me as well) and I was almost in happy tears when I kept petting them, saying how happy I am having them in my life as well.

It honestly felt so lovely to be able to pet them both, feeling loved and giving love ❤️

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an old karlach i never got to finish

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Today's been one of those days when I can't get myself out of bed so I've spent today just sleeping. I woke up like 15min ago, clock being 7:40pm and I just would like to go back to sleep. But before I do that, I've short dream dream to write down. Old dream from decades ago when I didn't know the characters.

So, in short: I was in some school building in the evening when the school was already closed. I was heading up the stairs to upper level but when I got there, I heard fighting noises from below so I turned around and ran downstairs. At the bottom of the stairs was group of some people or soldiers and Gan Ning (DW9) was there fighting against them.

Naturally he beat them easily and ran past me up the stairs. I followed, finding him slightly injured (like only a scratch on his left chest). However, he was heck exhausted so I wrapped his left arm over my shoulders, grabbing on his waist to support him while he leaned against me some more to catch his breath.

I chuckled at him, saying something about him being that exhausted after so short and fast fight (because I knew he does have better stamina than that). I gave him few fast kisses on his hair before tapping him gently on the back twice, sending him off to our left since he was feeling a lot better already. I headed to my right, coming in school's "gym" (or whatever they are called). I was standing on upper stair, very wide, and there probably was only 5 of them in total. Right across me was a stage but what caught my attention was this white long jacket neatly folded on one of the stairs. Not only that but to my right, at the base of the stair, was fake giljotin. My heart instantly went cold since I knew Gan Ning got killed by enemy in real history by an arrow hitting him on the head but I started to fear if he was killed by giljotin here. I opened that folded jacket, instantly noticing big line art of Sephiroth (FF7) with many smaller pics of different anime characters.

Some I recognized, some I knew by look, some I didn't know at all. Apparently this jacket had everyone's pic on it who had been, or was going to be, killed by this giljotin. I didn't see Gan Ning but I was still heck worried about every character on the jacket.

This dream ended but at some point I had short dream moment about Gan Ning again. I was in his home (what you can buy and decorate in DW9). He gave me tiny bag which I opened. There was so many buttons, like from a game called Go, white and blue in color. I knew they were valuable. I closed the bag, looking at Gan Ning, saying:

"I can't take these. These are too much (by value)."

His reply was: "They are payment so you take them."

I'm not sure why he paid me or what for, so handsomely too, but I can't really complain, now can I? :'D

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While I may act and look happy to the outside world, 99% of my time I still feel black and empty. Like if I'm standing in this endless darkness with no any emotions or directions. I've never felt empty or black like this.

For the first time ever YouTube recommend me this song. I was going to roll past it but it started to bother me instantly so much I had to listen it.

I'm glad I did since the singer is Suwabe Junichi! I love that man's voice! I don't know what there is in his voice but while listening this, it felt like my heart got filled with some happiness like with 1/4 at least. Not to mention he sings: "Pain, pain, pain go away."

Very fitting.

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I apologize horrible quality of my photos from the book Kamala Luonto, Majavan Oma Kirja (Horrible Nature, Beaver's Own Book). I bought this book recently. I took them in dim light (because I live in dim light).

Let me just say: This lovely beaver is COMPLETELY expressing EVERYTHING what I am going through in life with my mind. Depression, fears, isolation, anxiety etc. This little animal is speaking to my soul.

More will come later! I post 5 pics in each post!

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Happy and proud owner of Wriothesley! ❤️ Only needed 80 summoning to get him :D of course I got annoying female character 3 times (NEVER gonna use her anyway so boo!) and then I got 2 different little cryo boys. Mika I might won't use, ever, but the other boy I've test run once and liked him :3

But Wriothesley looks so small after tall and slim Kaeya! :'D Only negative thing is that while Wriothesley is 5 star character, his R2 hit makes him hit enemies harder but each hit makes him lose HP...

.........

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WHAT'S THE POINT OF HAVING 5 STAR MAN IF HE'S CONSTANTLY TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF LIKE THAT?! :'D

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Dream from nap. It was weird and confusing but I had traveled to Japan on my own for the first time. It didn't look all that modern or similar as it looks today but anyway.

I tried to find a store where I could buy cute little things like keychains etc. I just couldn't find it. Instead I was completely lost in this many leveled building, something from Ghibli movie for example.

At one point there's Aomine and Kagami and I try to follow them to ask if they could tell me which way to go. Instead I lose them and I huff in playful annoyance since I know they hid somewhere to make out.

I exit the room, coming for some kind of emergency exit metal stairway spot with metal level with little café spot. Only some construction workers, heavy smokers, drunks etc use this place. There's one messy guy, probably a bit drunk too, who jokes to me that he could help me find a way if I let him grope me. I instantly replied with angrier voice that if he dares to do that, his eyes will instantly turn bruises. He laughed in defeated way, saying "okay, okay, I get it." He did not touch me and I went down the stairs.

This next room was like some kind of huge mudroom in kindergarten where people waited trains. Outside was train tracks on two different spot. At the right were local trains and on the left, behind a little turn, was 2 tracks for long distant trains. I now start to panic since I suddenly realized my train to home was probably leaving today at 6pm - and the clock probably already was like 6:10pm.

I hurry out and go left. I do come to this white looking check point with 2 "stalls", male worker in each to check your ticket. Between and behind the stalls is white wall and 2 doors. You can go through them after your ticket is checked. I look around and notice there's kids drawings on walls, and in the first art I notice is having Sukuna from Jujutsu Kaisen in it! I now notice even more arts about Sukuna there. In panic, still, I start to dig out my ticket which is actually two pieces of printed A4 papers. I flip first paper out of the way since it's only some info paper. Under it is my train ticket... Or should be. Instead of there being a train ticket or anything similar, there's hell tiny mushy print which goes around the edges of the paper and in the middle of the paper reads something like "Please, rest."

Underneath it reads something else but I get so overwhelmed by my emotions after reading that, that I fall on my knees, hearing gentle male voice in my head reading the paper for me. It goes something like:

"Please, rest. Why won't you go buy something nice instead? There's a guide waiting for you at the local train tracks. S/he will take you there."

So apparently I missed my train or I still had like a week time left to be there but I was completely lost. Tho I didn't get myself up from the floor and go see my guide (who was going to be there the rest of my trip) since I was still crying so hard. I think I was shocked, surprised but also relieved.

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Went to bookshop with sis today. I super rarely go to bookstores but now my intuition pulled me there. Good thing!

I found myself last book of Kamala Luonto, Majavan Oma Kirja (Horrible Nature, Beaver's Own Book). It was on -50% discount, too! I opened it and was instantly hooked! That beaver is describing me, my thoughts and life! :'D I'll later take few photos as example, translating them.

I also bought myself Cursing Hedgehog Easter egg, getting a sticker about hedgehog called Antti (man's name in Finland) who has long ears. He looks very happy while yelling:

"I'm different and PROUD of it!" (very clear message from the universe to me!)

Tomorrow another shopping trip to museum's shop, tiny Japanese shop, Lidl and then home to play Genshin to spend wishes to get Wriothesley ❤️(hopefully wrote his name right, I hate it how difficult it is :'D).