#i dont want my loved ones to be sad about it.
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☆ more random obey me headcanons !
characters: the demon brothers! <3
small note: i am back. and i will disappear once more after this..also i apologize for the VERYYY LATE upload. i am not dead and i wont die until om fandom comes back to life i tell ya 😤😤
cw: none! :p
☆ lucifer:
- occasionaly has thoughts of getting a german shepherd but cerberus would get EXTREMELY PISSED if he did. also another reason why he refuses to let satan keep cats in the house. cerberus will gobble them up in less than a millisecond.
- has a pretty high libido (as if it isn't already obvious in the game..) he really enjoys taking out his stress on you everytime he gets the chance. buckle up buttercup ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
- one if his biggest secrets is keeping like a few albums of him and his brothers back when they still lived in the celestial realm. he keeps em hidden realll good
- sometimes asks levi or mammon to help him with his D.D.D
- "mammon, help me with this." "levi, why is my screen stuck like this?" "lucifer you paused the video-"
- he likes silk pajamas :3 he also can't STAND sweatpants for some reason.
- once a week, he dedicates atleast an hour or two grooming his own wings and his horns. there's a lot of occasions where he transforms in his demon form for parties and such.
- reads newspaper while taking a shit. guys dont argue with me on this its real.
- he has cold lips but his kisses are always very passionate with you!
- very well mannered everytime he's on the dining table and eating. y'all will never catch him spill a single food on the table or his clothes.
☆ mammon:
- eats with his hands sometimes when he's alone. and if someone ever finds out his excuse is always "so what? sometimes eating food with your hands is a better way to savor the taste." and i completely agree with him
- cleans his jewelry a lot. he wants them dazzling that people will do a double take when they see his mega awesome drip. like "haha yeah yall cant beat me on this baby" type shit
- cooks the BEST beef curry. the level of spice is perfect-o and beel always pesters him to make it.
- during family photos, he's always the one doing silly poses. he does hand stands, he has his ass out on display, he's ON THE FLOOR
- always man spreading in class. like you can literally see him chewing on his pen from across the room with his legs sprawled out
- you know that empty feeling you get after watching a movie? double that and give it to mammon. man takes it HARD especially if it was a sad movie that he watched. he'll feel empty for a gooooddd while
- always breaks his earphones, so when d.d.d airpods came out he got really happy and bought like 6 pairs (he ended up breaking all of them too)
- blasts music like crazy when he works out and lucifer absolutely HATES his music style and thinks it's unsanitary and inappropriate. like ok whatever you old fucking hag
- doesn't close the bathroom door after he uses it LIKE BITCH CLOSE THAT SHIT RN
- follows all of his fan accounts on devilgram ugh my boy <33
☆ leviathan:
- there's just like random times where he'll suddenly remember all of his past cringe phases. and it like appears on the most random times it's actually pissing him off
- always fantasized about creating character designs for simeon ever since he found out he was the creator of TSL
- he has a bad habit of HOLDING IN HIS PISS. yes he holds them in. he developed this habit ever since he got addicted to gaming. luckily for him he's a demon but boy if he was human he would've gotten kidney problems by now.
- levi would never ever admit it but he enjoyed getting spun around by mammon when they were still kids. like mammon grabs his arms then just spins him around and stuff
- sleeps with his headphones on and now he can't sleep without it. he's just like me jujujuju
- he really likes alex g :3
- sometimes he wishes he was a magical pop star girl performing for people on stage because they always look so happy when he watches them
- loves being the little spoon so much. sometimes it's awkward with him when he's the big spoon because he's either trembling or really stiff like a log
- he enjoys kissing your cheeks the most because he's convinced he'll melt if he tries kissing you on the lips
- has a hidden album on his phone of stolen shots of you doing the most random shit ever. eating, sleeping, showering..💀
☆ satan:
- even when it's freezing cold, his feet are always peeking out of his blanket. can't sleep without his bare feet hanging out.
- doesn't need reading glasses but insists on buying them because he thinks it fits the detective aesthetic. unfortunately he loses them a lot and no one knows why
- besides lucifer, satan is very sleek and neat when putting on neck ties
- had a phase where he absolutely despised coffee and tea because he found out lucifer enjoyed it. deep down he knew he enjoyed them too and it'd be one of the reasons for his constant rampages..
- started enjoying lofi music ever since levi introduced him to it.
- out of all the brothers, satan feels the most comfortable crying in front of mammon the most. (can i get some big brother mammon appreciation out here? 😔)
- he's the type to practice his lines in front of the mirror before asking you out on the date! he just wants everything to be perfect for you and yes sometimes he messes up but it's your fault for being too pretty
- worked as a librarian once as a part time job and lemme tell you..sales went high as fuck after that and the manager even BEGGED him to stay for longer. (which he did, as long as he got to have free books :p)
- tried the "which of the seven brothers are you?" quiz and got lucifer.
- is very skilled with the piano and even made a few pieces that reminded him of you <3
☆ asmodeus:
- really enjoys ear piercings and even got one himself!
- owns a clothing brand in the human world and even tried making you the co-owner. it's a really big success and he uses the money to buy you gifts
- can't go a day without kissing you atleast once! he feels like his lips would dry if doesn't get to even leave a peck on you
- does that back arch thing in his room when he's bored 👀
- bought so many makeup products once to the point lucifer banned makeup in HOL for like a month 💀 asmo held a grudge for a while because he was lowkey kinda conscious of his appearance when he'd go outside. especially when he's in front of you! ;((
- second most followed user on devilgram! (top one is diavolo lol)
- if he had to choose a favorite makeup brand from the human world it's either the ones with the cute packaging (ex: flower knows, too faced) or the high end brands like dior
- changes bed sheets like twice a week because it's either he can't stand the feeling anymore or found a new inspo on devilgram
- says he's not easily influenced on buying new things like mammon or levi but the moment he sees something go viral he's already purchasing 10 of them. (and posts it on his feed to gain those likes)
- crop dusts every now and then
�� beelzebub:
- finds those gross ass thirst trappers who sexualizes food nasty asf and is a big donutdaddy hater
- wins awards from eating competitions a lot and always ALWAYS spoils you and belphie first
- always the viewer in situations where one of the brothers fight w eachother. mans always there for some reason so lucifer always approaches him first when smth happens lol
- sometimes he goes overboard with body sprays
- he likes hand made accessories/jewelry. belphie was the one who made his choker on his everyday outfit and cherishes it everyday
- he thinks tongue piercings are cool but never went out of his way to get one
- buys burger merch or any food merch in general lol
- he was never really the type to care about his own appearance and only did the bare minimum to make himself look presentable. but sometimes he does feel insecure when people get too intimidated by him, especially when it's you.
- "mc, you're not afraid of me right? i won't hurt you. i promise"
- majority of the time he's the one who fixes belphie's bed and cleans his side of the room so lucifer won't get mad at him
☆ belphegor:
- has no shame in stealing pillows from furniture shops and always gets away with it
- unintentionally says the most sassy remarks ever and stares at you when you call him out for it
- being the youngest, he doesn't really need to go shopping for his own necessities because one of the brothers already buys it for him before he can even step out of the house
- when you'd go back to the human world, he'd always gaze up at the stars and wonder how you're doing and if you're getting enough sleep
- always constipated like idk he just seems like the type to only shit once a week lmfao
- one time (or two..or three) he accidentally used a different toothbrush that belonged to one of the brothers because he was half asleep
- hates the feeling of jewelry on him because he thinks it's just in the way. especially hates earrings because it's a nuisance when he sleeps.
- HORRIBLE driver and can't drive for shit. crashed mammon's car once because he fell asleep. and his in defense was because traffic was so long smh
- he can't live without his cardigans. always wears long sleeved shirts unless it's summer season in the devildom and settles for loose shirts. he also has a habit of pulling his sleeves that it nearly covers his whole hand
- very calming singing voice. back when he was still in the celestial realm, a bunch of angel kids would approach him at night, telling him to sing lullabies for them to help them sleep <3
note: had to repost :P ALSO TY FOR 73 FOLLOWERS! hiphiphorey
#obey me#obey me shall we date#om! swd#obey me headcanons#leviathan obey me#obey me crack#om! leviathan#obey me lucifer#om! lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#beelzebub obey me#belphegor obey me#om! satan#om! belphegor#om! beelzebub#om! asmodeus#obey me nightbringer
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Can I request a fic where Gyomeis wife is pregnant with twins? I saw how you wrote Sanemi and I just absolutely loved it. Maybe Gyomei could start off being nervous (he hopes the babies dont inherit his blindness so he’s happy y/n is pregnant but nervous at the same time)
I would just love to see how attentive he would treat her even if he’s blind. Like he’s insanely strong so carrying her or coming behind her to gently lift her tummy to ease the tension in her back and off her bladder wouldn’t be a problem. He’d LOVE touching her belly and holding her. I think he’d do so well with twin boys. 🩷🥹
Hi @totallygyomeiswife !
A/n: This Sanemi fic will always be the one I enjoyed writing the most😍 and I also thought about writing one for Gyomei but I ended up starting other projects and I left that one aside but now that you sent the request I decided to write it.
I would give anything to see a man that size holding his tiny baby in his hands. It would be so cute❤️🥹
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/deefb84a7abe9718f345ef6012874fa9/82b0394969c78a56-f2/s540x810/ef08f72d6158c72829f5ce232ecfa8032557b6d2.jpg)
The first rays of sunlight entered through the crack between the window and the curtain, waking you up. You slowly sat up in bed and when you looked to the side, all you could see were the sheets unfolded and an empty space. Gyomei had probably gotten up before sunrise to go to a quieter place to say his prayers. A habit you were already used to.
You felt nauseous and unwell, it seemed like you were going to vomit. Something you had been feeling for a long time and it wasn't just when you woke up, it was also with certain smells that made you feel like this. The nausea was starting to intensify and that was when you ran to the bathroom to throw up.
When that episode was over, you got up a little shakily and flushed the toilet. Your eyes faced your own reflection in the mirror as you washed your face and pondered what had just happened.
You didn't want to think that there was something wrong with your health, but something else popped into your mind and you widened your eyes at the thought.
"Could it be?" You wondered. "No, maybe it's not that. I mean..." You closed your eyes and sighed
It was very likely that it could be what you were thinking. It was very likely that you could be pregnant.
You then left the bathroom to get dressed and go to the butterfly mansion to clarify this whole situation.
~~~
You entered the bedroom and saw Gyomei sitting on the balcony. You approached him, and even without seeing, he could feel your presence.
"These footsteps sound exactly like those of my lovely wife, am I right?" He asked with a little smile
"Yes, you are." You smiled, sitting next to him, holding one of his huge hands that covered yours
You remained silent for a while, caressing the calloused skin of his hands, the result of his hard training. You were thoughtful and tense, something he could feel.
"Are you okay, my love?" He asked, looking to the side where you were, as if he could see you there.
"Yes, it's just..." You were going to continue the sentence, but you got a little nervous. "I've had something to tell you for a while, but I'm afraid."
"You can tell me, my dear, I'll always be here to listen to you. There's no need to be afraid."
"Gyomei, I went to talk to Shinobu a few days ago and... and I found out something."
"What? You don't have anything serious, do you?" Gyomei felt tears on the verge of falling down his face
"No, it's nothing like that. Mei, I'm pregnant." You finally spoke and it was then that the tears fell down his face
You looked at him and he was crying, his hand intertwined with yours on your lap as he cried, making you cry too. You thought he was sad about the news, but he soon proved otherwise.
"I didn't know how you would react. I didn't want to tell you because I was scared and anxious." You whimpered with a few sniffles
"My love, I'm just so moved. You're carrying something so precious and so innocent inside your womb, something that belongs to both of us and that I will protect no matter what." He answered, making your heart feel lighter at that moment.
"Oh, my love." You moved to his lap, hugging him just to feel his strong arms around you, giving you the great feeling of protection that you loved to feel
~~~
He decided to talk to the master Ubuyashiki after finding out he was going to be a father so that he could have the opportunity to spend more time with you, not going on as many missions as before. Unless it was an emergency that he really had to be called in for.
The master not only congratulated him but also agreed, which made tears of gratitude fall.
When his hands felt your belly start to grow, he made a point of carrying you everywhere in the house. You only got out of his arms when you sat at the table or when he laid you down.
When you had insecurities about looking heavier, he assured you that you were still perfect and that there was nothing that his strong arms couldn't carry.
"My love, I may be blind but I'm still sure that you're still beautiful." He said and you cried
Those months also made you more sensitive and now he wasn't the only one who cried over everything.
He loved the afternoons you two spent together cuddling and when he could run his hand over your round, soft belly.
"What do you think it is, love?" You asked, placing your hand over his. "A boy or a girl?"
"Maybe a girl with a beautiful, cheerful voice like her mother, or a strong boy like me." He smiled and you wiped his tears with your thumb, caressing his cheeks."I just hope they come out with good health and that they in no way inherit my blindness. I prayed hard that they would have the blessing of being able to see when they were born."
"Everything will be fine, my love. Whatever it is, they will come healthy and with good eyes so that they can see not only me but also the wonderful and loving father that you are." You smiled at him, holding his face with both hands. "I love you." You placed a kiss on his lips and he wrapped you in a tight hug
"Me too, my dear."
~~~
"The master asked that all the hashiras gather in the meeting room tonight. I wanted to stay here with you, but I don't think I can. I'm sorry." Gyomei said, lowering his gaze a little, but you comforted him by holding his hands
"It's okay, baby. I'll be fine, don't worry."
"I know, but even so... It's already night and those creatures are out there. I'm afraid the same thing will happen that happened that night when I lost all those people in the temple."He said
He didn't want to lose his wife and child in the same night. He couldn't bear to live through a night like that again.
"Gyomei, I promise. I'll be fine and no one will hurt me. Do you trust me?"
"Alright, then. I'll go, even if I'm a little nervous, but everything will be fine." He gave an optimistic smile
"Come here, my big boy." You raised your arms, trying to embrace his broad frame that towered over yours. He was as big as his heart. A true gentle giant.
~~~
It had been some time since he had left and you now found yourself sitting on the bed, leaning against the headboard while holding the Buddhist rosary he had left with you as a protection. The same rosary he always carried in his hands during prayers in which he asked for protection over you and your womb and also for strength for him so he could protect his family.
You looked at the rosary beads and all you could think about was your husband's face. He prayed each one patiently and full of faith.
A strong contraction appeared and you held your belly with a groan of pain. You thought it had been just another random kick from the baby, but seeing how the pain only intensified, you realized that it was not just another kick, but the birth of your baby.
You began to cry in pain and clutched his rosary tightly, hoping that he would come home soon to help you.
"And that's it for today, my children, the meeting is over." Master Ubuyashiki declared and the hashiras bowed before leaving
Gyomei stood up but the master held his hand, which made him stop and sit down again.
"Oyakata-sama? Is everything okay?" The hashira asked
"I just wanted to wish you good luck with the birth of your children. They are twins." The master said, shocking Gyomei
"How... How did you know?"
"I had a vision a night after you told me. I also scheduled this meeting so I could tell you this. You must take care of Y/n, she needs you. I believe you will be a good father. I trust you, Gyomei Himejima." The master said with a proud smile and the hashira was soon moved
"Thank you, oyakata-sama!" He knelt and bowed in respect. "I will pray for your health."
"Thank you."
When he got home, Gyomei heard screams coming from the bedroom and immediately thought the worst. He followed the sound of the screams of pain and reached the bedroom where you were crying.
"Y/N!? What's going on?" He asked, approaching the bed
"Gyomei... Help me...it's now." Your words came out between sobs and moans of pain, unable to form a plausible sentence, but he soon realized what it was about
"I'm going to take you to the butterfly mansion. Let's go." He carried your body in his arms and left the house
The entire butterfly mansion was shocked when they saw the stone hashira come running in with you in his arms.
It was a difficult time, with a lot of pain, crying, and emotion. Gyomei didn't let go of your hand for a single moment. Bringing two boys into the world caused you a lot of pain and he could feel it in the way you held his hand tightly.
The master was right, they were twin boys and according to Shinobu, both were in good health. He felt great relief in his heart for them, but those tears he was shedding were not only from emotion for the birth of the boys but also from pity for you for having gone through all that.
You slowly turned your head to the side to see your husband crying and holding your hand. He was your greatest support throughout that special moment and his affection and care made you love him even more.
"Honey, it's okay." You spoke softly, without strength, but he raised his head enough for you to bring your fingers to his face and wipe his tears as you always did, even when he cried over small things."I'm a little weak but... I did my best to bring our boys into this world. After all, they were two little boys... they will be strong like their father." You smiled and he smiled back
"Thank you for being so strong during all this time, I will do my best for you and for them." Gyomei said, leaning in and kissing you
His kisses were always slow and very soft, coming with a lot of love and affection.
"I love you." You whispered against his lips
Shinobu entered the room with the newborns in her arms and blush when she saw you two so close.
"Am I interrupting something?" She giggled
"Oh, no, it's okay." You stated, feeling your cheeks turning red
"I just came to give you what's yours. Your cute little boys." She said, handing the boys into your arms
"My beautiful boys." You said, tears of joy fall as you picked up the little ones. "I love you two."
"Y/n, can I hold them?" Gyomei asked
"Of course you can." You handed them to him and he held them as if they were made of glass
That man's hands were strong enough to destroy a demon, but at that moment they felt like velvet, holding something as innocent as a baby.
He cried so much because his blindness couldn't allow him to see their faces, but at the same time, the feeling of having them in his hands made his heart explode with joy.
"I can't see them but I can tell they are two wonderful blessings." He said and you smiled at how tiny they looked in his hands.
"They'll be as proud of you as I am, Gyomei." You said, kissing his forehead where his scar was. "You'll be a good father."
"And you'll be a wonderful mother."
#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba anime#demon slayer anime#kimetsu no yaiba fandom#demon slayer fandom#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x you#kimetsu no yaiba fic#demon slayer x reader#demon slayer x you#demon slayer fic#himejima gyomei#gyomei himejima#gyomei x reader#gyomei x y/n#gyomei x you#kny gyomei#fluff#anime blog#anime writing blog#fluff imagine
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Thinking about Rise Splinter hate… it always makes me kinda sad. Like YEAH, it wasn’t right the way he treated the boys. But like, Rise is really good at expressing subtle familial dynamics, and one of the big ones for me is the fact that like… there’s always an undercurrent of “It’s complicated” to their interaction with Splinter. IRL, it always pisses me off to see people casting judgments on people’s relationships with their family, because you don’t know!! Yeah, they hurt you, but not everything’s black and white. It’s complicated. Because you love them, and sometimes you get to understand a little bit better why things happened as you get older.
In a matter of smaller importance, hate for him loses so many opportunities in his character… even things that might just be kinda off-handedly mentioned.
He fought for SEVEN years—give me Splinter with chronic pain. Splinter relating to his boys with their neurodivergence—it’s HIS fault they have it!!!
That was seven years of imprisonment, or even simpler, an abusive relationship. What did he learn from that? How did he change? What things are skewed in his worldview?
His childhood! We saw his relationship with his grandfather a bit, but how did Splinter grow into his dream of being a movies star? HIM BEING A MOVIE STAR. He was both a rebellious team and a literal celebrity, this guy probably took empyrean at some point without knowing it, just like. Recreationally or something LMAO.
I maybe just need more of his old man knowledge. Him being so loser-core was a great move by the Rise team, and I could SEE where his story was going—ROBBED. We were ROBBED.
splinter hate is CRAAAAZY when he's such an INTERESTING character who does actually have a lot of obvious depth. like he's goofy and he's objectively flawed as a parent but he does go out of his way to improve himself and LEARN throughout the show, and he does listen and apologize when he knows he's messed up. his issues are so similar to leo's actually, leo's a kid so he's got more leeway to be shitty but idk when people act like its endearing on him and not on splinter. splinter's hilarious free my man
on the other side of the coin i dont really like when people make him a perfect loving parent either,,, i think people going for all kinds of interpretations in order to serve whatever story they need is fine but i do prefer kind of messy parent splinter, i think its kind of sad to see him reduced down to bad or good. he LOVES his boys so dearly and he would NEVER intentionally want to hurt them, but he's quick to cast judgement when he's angered/feels disrespected (evil league of mutants comes to mind, but also in turtle dega nights when donnie first stops the tank) and he's really a lot more inattentive than he should be. but there are REASONS behind this, coming out of an abusive relationship, fighting in bloodsports against his consent for years, you could probably count the whole draxum thing as traumatic (its presented as kind of silly in the show, but considering what it lead to,, its a pivotal moment in the backstory. its one of those things that i reasonably feel can be recontextualized because its so essential) and then dealing with crippling body dysmorphia and being forced into the sewers with no company other than his children,, it really adds up
idk like ,,,, you can still be extremely traumatized and be a horrible parent. in fact trauma can be a direct CAUSE of being a bad parent because that kind of thing influences every facet of your life and if youre unprepared emotionally, yeah. but splinter isn't the kind of person to double down and become more overtly nasty when he feels cornered. if he gets the feeling that his kids are actually upset with him, he backtracks. this is actually kind of a key trait of his, that he does try very hard to correct himself when he messes up. he's communicative and apologetic, and he tries very hard to be that way.
and also this is maybe something that i just have a wider problem with when it comes to the way people interpret things in cartoons at times but splinter's actions in eps like lair games (especially in lair games) and flushed but never forgotten are meant to be like. jokes. its absurdist comedy that's meant to catch you off guard. there are more serious emotional beats in rise you can use but i think when youre adapting this world and characters into a more serious tone you have to keep that kind of thing in mind because some things are meant to be surprising and absurd for the sake of making you laugh. i think the best comparison i can think of is how in musical movies they're not actually singing (in most cases, sometimes the fact that they actually are is played for laughs it depends. but yk what i mean). the joke is that this is kind of a shitty thing he's doing but taking the actions themselves seriously in a vacuum in order to cast shame on a character has always been odd to me. that'd be like calling raph abusive for rolling up the window on mikey's neck in late fee. or calling the teetz murderers because they caused a robot mass suicide that one time. it just doesnt make any sense
#ask#i do actually think the oiled up splinter scene in lair games it was Weird and i do NOT like it#i have a problem with it overall. i cant tell if its moral or if its just a disgust thing its just a very ... Interesting choice#but i always look at people funny when they act like this actually makes splinter a bad parent#i think finding jokes meanspirited or offensive is understandable though tbf#you can not like a joke. you can even not like a character because of jokes like that#but i do think in shows with this kind of tone you have to understand the border#if a show were to go back and recontextualize moments like these to take them seriously i would not like it!#im vaguing two things saying this lol i dont like when media does that. slapstick comedy can stay as it is#like i do think there's a hint of truth in some stuff like this because its still the characters at the end of the day#but if they are not meaningfully challenged by the narrative in the episode#its probably because youre not meant to take it seriously
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Could you do a one-sided Jax x Caine interaction? Jax fell for the one guy that actually pays attention to him/takes him seriously anymore, and said guy is completely unable to compute the feelings Jax has for him, let alone reciprocate. Basically... Jax being a miserable, lonely loser.
..i wish you were real.
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one-sided bunnyteeth angst
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jax pov
“man, i dont know. i guess i just wish you were real, but if you were, i don’t think i’d be able to tell you about this dumb stuff.” i groan, talking to caine. our ai ringmaster. “you’re the only person who makes me feel real.”
“well, of course you feel real, jax! you’re a human, after all!” he replies, a look of confusion on his face. just confusion, nothing resembling affection or recognition. i hate when he looks at me like that, it’s just a reminder him and i may as well live in two completely different worlds. it’s embarrassing i managed to fall for someone like him. but i did, hard.
“you don’t get it. of course you don’t, what was i even thinking? i’m stupid for even considering that you might be able to even— i give up.” i ramble, voice drifting off to a whisper of defeat. i hate feeling like this - powerless. lonely. it’s so damn miserable.
“i don’t get what exactly? jax, you do understand that i’m not like you, right. i cant feel the same.. complicated emotions that you do. i can feel happy, sad, angry. but i cant feel love, disappointment and other things like that! i can fake those feelings, if that would help you feel better? my goal as your ringmaster is—“
“that wouldn’t be the same. i don’t want you to fake anything. i want something.. real. but i also want you- and you’re not.. man, this blows.” i put my hands over my face, letting out a loud groan of frustration.
“but jax, like i said, i’m not re-“
“I JUST SAID THAT— do you even f**king LISTEN!? i know you’re not real. you’re not human and it’s ruining my GODDAMNED LIFE. so, i just gotta be miserable forever, because my needs don’t add up, and i cant get what i want. as usual. i never f**king get what i want, no matter what i do, and i’m sick of it.” i yell, interrupting him. i wasn’t sure when the tears started falling down my face, but when i regained my senses, my face was wet.
“jax— jax, im sorry! im sorry, but i don’t understand your feelings!! it’s not within my capabilities.. have you considered talking to..”
“none of the others like me-!! none of them take me seriously, none of them give a damn about me because i’m jax. i cause problems for everyone, and now i’m reaping the consequences. they all hate me. and guess what? i’m starting to hate myself too.”
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thanks for the request!!!! this was so fun to write.. i’ve never actually thought about this ship before, but one-sided bunnyteeth is actually really interesting!!/pos
reblogs appreciated!!
#bunny teeth#jax x caine#jax tadc#the amazing digital circus#caine x jax#jax#tadc jax#the amazing digital circus jax#tadc#the amazing digital circus caine#tadc caine#caine#digital circus#amazing digital circus#tadc fanfiction#the amazing digital circus fanfiction
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the wanting your friends to not worry about you while you clutch your chest and cry at random intervals while knowing you've been through this before and you will again and it's always been and always will be worth it while being unable to eat or sleep much while reassuring your friends youre fine while
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i want to be able to be in pain and grieve and be sad. but i dont want my friends to be sad for me. i dont want to be asked how im doing
im in pain but i mean it when i say it will pass and i know it, not in the 'im keeping hope and positivity' kind of way but in the 'its an unescapable cycle of my life that im happy to go through'
of course im not happy about what happened, or that im in pain, but i would do it again in a heartbeat if i could go back in time. love is worth it
its like...
this is a personal type of pain. i hold it precious in my palms. its not for sharing, its my treasure and mine alone.
this is not just about pain. its about the happiness it follows. its about the love overflowing. its about the wonder hidden in the corners. its about realization and sacrifice and all the little things that no one can really get because they havent lived through my specific experiences.
its precious, to me. to keep near my now-aching-soon-nostalgic heart. to hang on the walls inside of it.
spending time with loved ones helps soothe, of course. i'm not shying away from that. but my stinging and my healing are mine to cherish.
#im in pain because i care and i love and why would i want to bury that?#heartbreak is so personal to me. i cant talk about it too much with the people i love because its something for me only.#not in a 'bottle it up and pretend its not there' kind of way! in a 'its special and its mine' kind of way.#idk im tired and a little sleep deprived#point is#maybe im not really okay. and thats okay.#i dont want my loved ones to be sad about it.#how do you tell someone 'im not fine and im okay with that' without them pitying you or feeling bad for you after all?#so i just say oh you know. im doing! im chugging along! im girlbossing! or i focus on other things like. im tired or im hungry yknow.#anyways if you read this and worried about me nd youre still reading these tags... dont worry about me.#im not saying this in a dismissive way. im begging you. dont worry about me. shrug it off as me living another experience of life#and ill stop crying when i stop crying. and thats okay.#anyways i ramble#i cant describe the relationship i have with heartbreak. its an old friend and i cherish it. ups and downs#Charlie chatters
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hm
#hom3stuck#homestuck#john egbert#jade harley#dirk strider#dave strider#karkat vantas#davekat#lil hal#autoresponder#inspired sketches because i went thru a bunch of artblogs and wanted to be dynamic and artsy too#also love to listen to songs and then try my best to draw something for the duration of it. this isnt quite one of those times but#hey the names matched up nicely#idk man. tonight is a sad about dirk strider day turned into sad about dirk strider night. davekats to make it go down easier#anyways ever think about how a captcha of 13 year old dirk doesnt want to die but the 16 year old version does.#cause i do . plenty.#these seem like sketches ripe to do something with but i dont feel like touching them more so. black and white up they go
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Firefox-official vs electronicmail
Hydrogen bomb vs coughing baby
okay come up with a better idea then. firefox-official is gone asshole it’s electronicmail or nothing
#this one was hard to respond to because it elicited the usual anon rage in me#but i had to think about it anyway.#this blog has been around for less than a month and it is driving me fucking crazy#don’t you think i know?#dont you think it hurts enough already#i dont want this blog either i want my old blog back with all my stuff on it#i would like to stick around#because i loved posting#and i get that you’re just having fun#but i’m making an example of you#less than a month vs five years#‘household name’ firefox official#spent five years building that thing#and now it’s just this.#i keep forgetting#and then i’m here again#not home#i know you all feel bad enough for me already#but it’s so hard to be myself because the environment on here is SO different#we were HAPPY#WE WERE SO HAPPY#Umm… Or whatever.#guess i could go back to firefox unofficial#but that feels far too close to the sun. and i’m done with the wings i think.#i dont mean to be so serious#a total mood killer i know#i just dont know how to proceed exactly#because when i post like normal i cant help but feel sad#and when i post about being sad its just sort of obnoxious#i’m not really asking for pity i just want to explain where i am at
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charles doddles
below the cut is notes for myself on how i draw him cause im SICK of being inconsistent !!!!!!!
#xmen#xmen comics#xmen tas#charles xavier#professor x#snap sketches#this lit started with just the notes page and then of course i had to 'test' my notes#i had an extra note about how i draw charles smiling but i just wanted the Charles Doodles to focus on the doodles#yk exclude the notes. the only note was that i would never draw charles smiling more than That open-mouth smile there#i dont think he should smile big too much and he's more of a closed-mouth smile kind of guy. comics/tas wise anyhow#lmao i love how i only ever do these kinds of doodle pages for charles and never mags#its not my fault i just got his face on lock frame one ok i still flip flop with how i draw charles jAELKVJEAKLJ#BUT NO MORE. i think this is how ima do it going forward <- literally im the only person who notices these thigns#BUT IDC i draw these things for myself ok.... i better make sure nothin bout them bothers me ...#i was gonna include a Sad Charles doodle but its bout time i go on my night run with my dog SO !!!!!! bye bye for now#have plenty more chances to draw charles sad in the future !!!
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/cf247a43f82191f33dee238e48a450ce/65546b500c04a1c5-3a/s540x810/7d4e6cd23009146bb5bfe41d1d181b0544338c1f.jpg)
confessions
#hankcon#detroit become human#my art#hank anderson#connor detroit#this can be read either way#i initially started this out while i was sad and i drew connor#i think that if connor were to confess first he would get rejected at the beginning by hank deflecting it awkwardly#but then i was okay while drawing and somehow it ended up kind of sweet if you look at it from another angle#so that hank is the one confessing here#but also connor is going absolutely rigid in a very soft way#i like that intepretation because you cant see connors face so you dont know what hes thinking aside from what you can take from his body#language#its either a happy piece or a sad piece if you want it so!#i like to think it gets awkward at first but then they make up later#they both have a lot to sort out about themselves! but they bring out the better in each other#and in my timeline they are intertwined enough that theyre inseperable#thats enough ramblings for now love and peace 🤞🤞
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b0cea6f60561f35a6ae26cf4235e5cd2/e8d405b3effb7a33-3e/s540x810/719c85f8567ddad79962d2d119096c5252d2b848.jpg)
This scene of Till innocently peaceful with such a big smile feels incomplete to me after the events of round 7--But more true to his character rather than a comic with his final thoughts like Sua and Ivan had, it's cruel, brief, like a flashback, and it's bittersweet. Till is probably going to be reserved and ambiguous till the end. He wouldn't be able to bring himself to think about and reflect on his regrets and traumas; that's Till's principle; living in stubborn, childish beliefs, and in those truths, he finds escape into solace, even if it's unlike his reality, it's how he copes enough to make everything bearable for the next day to come. This image feels like a reflection, a memory of when he was happier in life. In Till's final moments, he thought about his and Mizi's childhood, the moment he fell in love with her was when she smiled at him with such radiance, the same moment, he felt like his heart was reborn; it was like he could breathe and smile solely for her. Till thinks back to these moments, these fleeting moments of peace because he can't let them go, he can't let go of the comfort of that familiarity.
--"Oh in a blink Gone. Blink and Gone, relish the present."
This image does bring me back to a lot of lyrics in Round 7. But this one in particular, a line that talks about living in the present before the moment slips between your fingers, in a blink, gone. But Till lives in the past.
Till doesn't think back to round 1 when he killed that alien guitar for Mizi, even though it was fully his decision, even though it was so gratifying seeing "Till win" and Mizi's acknowledgment, do you think he would have done that if he wasn't desperate and just doing what he felt like he had to do to survive? Because he had to stay by Mizi's side in her darkest moment like she was the one beacon of hope and happiness for him?
Till only suffers when he thinks back to round 6. When he's reminded of regret and pain. So, he represses the very memory of it to protect himself, he can't bring himself to even acknowledge it at all until he's forced to, when the aliens were intimidating him with Mizi's missing poster, he fights back out of anger. Just having that weakness, his guilt, and his grief used against him feels like a different kind of collar. Till thinks back to these warm, intangible memories of his childhood because life on stage was never something he could make his own, he didn't want to live for anything Alien Stage offered him, power, fame, etc. Despite his passion for music, Till is gentle and emotional at heart. This throne that is elevated high by bloodied corpses, a life living stagnant and trapped under the suffocating palm of an Alien, at the very top but inexplicably expendable, was never Till's vision of a life worth living. That's why he fought like hell for the life he wanted, for the life that he could've had. It really drives the point home when his final thoughts were centered around those moments when he was the happiest in his life.
It is so hard to feel the beauty, the warmth, in this image when everything around him is inauthentic, and it's off-putting because of the underlying details, especially since because of his gown, this scene might have taken place after one of those experiments or 'classes' it's a very subtle reminder of their reality. But his smile is so real in the moment without the collar, without the pain... he looks so carefree and full of life
And he scrunches his nose when he laughs *gets shot*
#alien stage#alnst#alnst till#alien stage till#i dont think i can talk about it enough...he's so fucking precious to me i fucking hate him (affectionately)#AGH#aghrhhhh#i still want to see a comic of his final thoughts though#this just feels like a vaguer and and more metaphorical way of getting his feelings across in one lense or another#but when i say it feels incomplete. this doesnt feel like all he has to say yet (i hope)#I MISS MY WIFE#cosmic boom of emotions when i see this i dont know how to put it into words#but vivinos has me in a chokehold#he's just a kid. the way he had to go through so many things seeing this face makes me feel happy for him and sad#i really want to kill myself but i miss till so badly#god i am your weakest soldier for till alien stage only#I SMILE AND I CRY HIS FREEDOM THE LACK OF COLLAR HIS HAPPINESS#AUHGHGH#the primal urge to hold him close and burrito him ina. blanket..i love him#till alien stage#till alnst
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Like they just did that and moved on
#i know they werent the point of the story/other things were going on (al) BUT OMFG#like WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE JUST WENT AND DID THAT?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY MEANT EVERYTHING TO HIM???#“oh. ive had enough. yeah. thats all i really need. they gave me everything i could want. hehe. thank you. and goodbye. my friends”#ASDFGHJKL?!?!?!?!??!?!#sorry i cant be coherent about this please understand what im trying to say#“i want the world” “no you want friends” “shit ur right. guess ill die” “okay cool ill yell ur name and then never be sad about it”#do not misunderstand me i absolutely love them i adore them but like do you see what im trying to say#also in the sub (the one i watched at least. idk if they differ between platforms) he says#“enough... yeah. thats enough. i dont need anything more. see you later. my soul... friends”#OUGH#FUCK#thank goodness for fanfiction yknow. i need them in grief and pain but also i need him to live yknow#fmab spoilers#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#greed the avaricious#greedling#ling yao#edward elric#im so not okay about them istg#moss' madness
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#this one's for choso#my baby boi#his kind of devotion is something you could search the world over for and only find once#its not necessarily a good thing in some cases which i find compelling in a character#but im glad a lot of ppl seem to like him. it would be sad for ppl to sleep on him when he does so much for yuuji#somehow he manages to keep from becoming a Plot Device though so mad respect to Gege for that#i love my baby. i would have done more quotes just about him and his mindset but#you cant have choso without his little brothers#its part of who he is#so.#and it does mention i think (and if canon doesnt im hcing it) that he did love his mother as much as he could without really knowing her#if only bc she gave him his brothers#and i read a fic once abt how she tried to protect them even when she was in such a bad situation herself and how choso never forgot that#and always remembered her because of how she fought to protect him and his brothers#so. yeah.#i love choso#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#choso#i will not do him the dishonor of calling him kamo choso he would have despised that#who would want to carry the name of the man who ruined your life and your family and left you festering in your own juices for 150 years?#and we dont know his mom's name so just choso will have to do. its not as though he's ever been unhappy with it. my good boi.#web weaving
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Roleswap anyone??
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/dbdab33489cf8a19abfe33c60746aef5/82b53c7886d07ffb-bb/s540x810/1074c16084139654e4e5bc0ba5dd21078644957a.jpg)
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Tell me Fernando wouldn't make a fantastic general/emperor, and that Napoleon wouldn't make a fanastic driver/tp!!
#this might be the most mentally ill thing ive drawn yet....#lmao im like ah this would be a funny idea to draw#and then got WAAYYYYY more into drawing napoleon#to the point of cuteness aggression and sadness that him in f1 isnt real :(#cofi and i made up a whole lore and plot line so if you want a pt 2 of that hmu LMAO#but briefly: hes a driver(2 wdc btw) who got kicked out for smth and then came back as a tp again to torment his former rivals#gahhhhh why is he so cute why isnt he real :( i would stan him so hard you dont understand#with his cute little lesbian bob and introverted but brave and outspoken demeanor....#his mechanics and team in general are all tall men who love to pick him up#but god the plot is just so fun and compelling that it makes me sad that kinda driver doesnt exist irl#my greatest dream is for someone from the actual napoleon fandom to see this#bcs its weird enough for you guys so i cant even imagine what theyd think#BUT PLEASEEE#anyways. this is a very odd post. but im very proud of it :)#lmao this is just like one step closer to actually writing my proper manifesto about it#but yeah i posted that silly meme the other day and it got way more notes that i expected so maybe this will be appealing too?#girls who cannot draw normal fanart#<- like seriously i wont draw napoleon in his normal clothes and fernando vice versa but no prob with the reverse?? my brain...#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso#nandopoleon alonsoparte#napoleon bonaparte#napoleon#catie.art
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Been a fan of your fics for YEARS. I was just telling my friend how despite how much I read fics I never actually love them, with some of your fics (especially TMA) as the exception. Felt the need to reread some of them and saw you reblogged some ISAT fanart. So. Any thoughts on ISAT you'd like to share?
Hope you have a wonderful day!! So happy I found your fics again!!
I avoided answering this for a while because I was trying to think of a way to cohesively and coherently vocalize my thoughts on In Stars and Time. I have given up because I don't want to hold everybody here all day and I have accepted that my thoughts are just pterodactyl screeching.
I love it so much. I have so much to say on it. It drove me bonkers for like a week straight. I have AUs. It's absolute Megbait. They're just a little Snufkin and they're having the worst experience of anybody's life. Ludonarratives my fucking beloved.
I am going to talk about the prologue.
The prologue is such a fascinating experience. You crack open the game and immediately begin checking off all of the little genre boxes: mage, warrior, researcher, you're the rogue...some little kid who's there for some reason...alright, you know the score. You're in yet another indie Earthbound RPG, these are your generic characters, let's get the ball rolling.
Except then you realize that these characters are people. You feel instantly how you've entered the game at its last dungeon, at the end of the adventure. They have their own in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They get along well and they're obviously close, but not in a twee or unrealistic way. They have so much chemistry and spirit and life. I fell in love with them so quickly.
But Sif doesn't. Sif kind of hates them, because they will not stop saying the same damn thing. They walk the same paths, do the same things, make the same jokes, expect Sif to say the same lines. They keep referencing a Sif we do not see, with jokes we never see him make and heroic personality he never shows - they reference a Sif who is dead - and Sif can't handle that, so he kills them too.
They become only an exercise in tedious frustration. Sif button mashes through their dialogue, Sif mindlessly clicks the same dialogue options, Sif skips through the tutorial, Sif blows through the puzzles. Sif turns their world into a video game. Sif is playing a generic RPG. Sif forgets their names. They are no longer people with in-jokes, histories, backgrounds, adventures. They're the mage, the warrior, the researcher, and...some random kid.
I did not understand the Kid's presence at first. I had no idea what they contributed to the game. They didn't do anything. As a party member in a video game, they're a bit useless. Why is the Kid there?
Because Sif's life isn't a video game. Because the kid isn't 'the kid'. They're Bonnie. Bonnie, who the party loves. Why is Bonnie there? Because they love them. There is no room for Bonnie in the boring RPG that Sif is playing. And then you realize that Sif is wrong, and that they've lost something extremely important, and that they'll never escape without it.
Watching the prologue before watching ISAT gave ISAT the most unique air of dread and horror, because you crack open ISAT and you see the person Sif used to be. You realize that Sif used to be a person. Sif used to be the person who made jokes, who gave real smiles, who interacted with the world as if they are a part of it. And you know you are sitting down to watch Sif lose everything that made them a person, to lose everything that made them a member of this world, and turn them into a character in a video game who doesn't understand the point of Bonnie at all.
At the climax of the game, when the others realize that something is deeply wrong and that Sif physically cannot tell them, they realize that there is nothing they can do. So Bonnie declares snacktime. And for the first time they have snacktime.
What is snacktime? Classic JRPGs don't have snacktime. There's literally no point to a snacktime - not in a video game, and not in Sif's terrible life. It's not fixing this, because nothing can fix this. But Bonnie gives Sif a cookie and Sif eats it.
It's meaningless. It's a cutscene. It didn't save Sif and it didn't change a thing. It will make no difference in the end.
But it did make the difference. It made all of the difference in the world. Bonnie is a character who you really don't understand the point of before you realize that Bonnie was the entire point.
ISAT is about comfort media. Why do we play the same video games over and over again? Why do we avoid watching the finale of our favorite shows? What is truly comforting: a story with no conflict, or a story where you always know what is about to happen? Do you want to live in a scary, uncontrollable world, or do you want to play Stardew Valley? Do you want a person or a character?
When I beat Earthbound for the first time (and if you don't know, the prologue/ISAT battle system is just Mother) and watched the ending cutscene where the characters part ways and say goodbye...I felt a little bit sad. I wanted them to be together forever. But that's something only characters could ever be.
#these aren't deep or unique thoughts they're just the specific aspect of ISAT that made it one of the most interesting gaming experiences#i actually like the prologue much more than ISAT for just this reason#its honestly a video game art piece that's created to give the player a very specific experience#that makes them an aspect of the narrative that is told#it's. incredible.#in stars and time#start again start again start again#start again: a prologue#isat#god and there is so so so so much more to say here#what a rich and complex and fascinating game that made me cry like a baby#i dont even kin sif. we arent similar at all.#i cant imagine how devastating this game would have been if i did#but I do have a deep relationship with escapsim#and i write about it a lot#and video games about being video games are wonderful#as are stories about being stories#and why we consume stories. how we use them. how they save us and hurt us.#never played a video game that used its medium so well#i bet undertales also pretty good at that but this is more so i think#stories about stories have to be about why we love stories#and im not an artsy person and i roll my eyes a bit when people talk about the spiritual neccesity of art#i think people need stories because the world is sad and hard and boring and we want to think about something else for a while.#some people need to be anywhere but here#and sometimes if you're Lil Depressed-Ass Snufkin that looks like being here forever#baby cringe-ass snufkin big hat idiot
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Hey so if I wrote a fic about Curly post Mouthwashing and how he suffers from the guilt of not protecting his crew while also suffering the pain as a disabled person who was once able bodied would y’all want that or should I just suffer the feelings I have about that in silence?
#Mouthwashing#genuinely love this game so much#curly isn’t a bad man but he fell into the traps of bad men#he can atone for his failings I know it I know it doNT LOOK AT ME#this is not a post about how curly is really a good guy this post is about how humanly flawed he is#and how he could possibly change if given the chance#curly was manslained manipulated and manwifed into not doing anything about Jimmy BY JIMMY#‘boo hoo I’m so sad you’re so great and that’s all I ever hear about boo hoo my life sucks’#curly doesn’t deserve a redemption arc but I’m gonna give him one anyways because I want to believe men can change
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something has possessed me i think bc why am i in the year 2024 thinking about merlin/gwaine but also merlin/lancelot but also gwaine/merlin/lancelot. what have i done to deserve this
#merlin#bbc merlin#bbc gwaine#bbc lancelot#in truth this is not surprising at all#gwaine is my favorite character#and there is no world in which gwaine didnt know about merlins magic#i love the merlin tv show so much#it couldve been so much better. IT COULDVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTERRRR#and no one knows just how much this show means to me#like in terms of comfort shows this is the number one#even though i dont rewatch it all that often#i think about it so much#chat do i rewatch merlin in its entirety for the first time in years#i usually just rewatch my favorite eps#the ones with gwaine as a main character#and the ones that make me sad#i also love lancelot so much and i do kind of hate how the show did him SORRY#when morgana brings him back. love my toxic queen but i cant watch it#to me gwen was always in love with arthur and morgana#idc about actual legends i care about the tv show#one day ill read some retelling of the whatever and WHATEVER#but. i can feel how i want#the way i view the various different ships... its wild#like i can go into depth one day... but not today IM TIREDDD#sorry im rambling its 3am and ive had a rough few days rip#im gonna take some melatonin and go sleep good lord#why does my pc think melatonin isnt a word its literally a drug???? whatever#anyway. ramble OVER i need SLEEP
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