#anyway. ramble OVER i need SLEEP
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something has possessed me i think bc why am i in the year 2024 thinking about merlin/gwaine but also merlin/lancelot but also gwaine/merlin/lancelot. what have i done to deserve this
#merlin#bbc merlin#bbc gwaine#bbc lancelot#in truth this is not surprising at all#gwaine is my favorite character#and there is no world in which gwaine didnt know about merlins magic#i love the merlin tv show so much#it couldve been so much better. IT COULDVE BEEN SO MUCH BETTERRRR#and no one knows just how much this show means to me#like in terms of comfort shows this is the number one#even though i dont rewatch it all that often#i think about it so much#chat do i rewatch merlin in its entirety for the first time in years#i usually just rewatch my favorite eps#the ones with gwaine as a main character#and the ones that make me sad#i also love lancelot so much and i do kind of hate how the show did him SORRY#when morgana brings him back. love my toxic queen but i cant watch it#to me gwen was always in love with arthur and morgana#idc about actual legends i care about the tv show#one day ill read some retelling of the whatever and WHATEVER#but. i can feel how i want#the way i view the various different ships... its wild#like i can go into depth one day... but not today IM TIREDDD#sorry im rambling its 3am and ive had a rough few days rip#im gonna take some melatonin and go sleep good lord#why does my pc think melatonin isnt a word its literally a drug???? whatever#anyway. ramble OVER i need SLEEP
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its my birthday i get to decide what ship i post (spoiler alert its VHAD)
(bonus under cut)
its 4am so heres them eeping :3
#I don't talk abt vhad as much as I used to#WHICH IS SAD because the show's ending made this so much funnier#I still love these two to death. even if i usually ramble abt the other dorks these two love sdlklfjkldsfjsdf#frankly i enjoy how the show ended with the canonical fact that they hang out by virtue of having mutual friends#I really do think the one scene where Thad opens his mouth to say smth and then gets smacked over the head is targeted at me specifically /#but for real these two are so much funnier now-a-days#i still hope for a season 2 where these two interact#not like romantically but like. as a horrible duo of all time#anyway its lates and i need sleep for BirthDay Activities.#thanks for reading!! <3#murder drones#serial designation v#murder drones thad#md thad#vhad#killingblonde#hehehehehehehe these two#these are rough because im eepy
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Ya know, Castlevania tackled the concept that life after defeating Dracula could be difficult for a Belmont with Richter feeling like he’d lost all purpose and reason to go on living if not for saving others and fighting against something—
But, do you think any of them before him felt that way too?
I mean it sounds kind of miserable, being raised your whole life to be solely relied on for one moment… and then what? How do you handle the sudden shift to ‘not being needed anymore’? Evidently, most of them didn’t have very much happen to them after the events of their games since we don’t get to know—
But, do you think any of them ever got better? Do you think anyone before Richter ever learned how to live for themselves? Did Richter?
Anyway it’s 8 PM and I’m sitting around wondering if any of the Belmonts were still happy after their happy endings (debatable if certain ones got happy endings tbh but anyway), Konami can u check on them, I’m worried—
#like do you think Trevor ever stopped going out looking for stragglers#do you think he couldn’t convince himself it was ever really over after Curse of Darkness#what do you think Christopher thought about handing the whip over to his son#do you think ever he wished he didn’t have to— do you think he hoped somehow he’d stopped it forever that last time#do you think Soleil felt the same after he had to past it on#how long do you think Simon thought about how he could’ve done it differently— do you think he thought he didn’t do well enough#do you think Simon died feeling like the family’s second failure#do you think Juste felt like his encounter didn’t count#do you think he and Maxim felt similarly about needing to be important#hmm just a lot of things to think about#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajo dracula#text post#akumajou dracula#incoherent rambling#let me tell you when I say I have headcanons about tiny intricacies of characters#I have headcanons about tiny intricacies about characters—#like here’s one: Simon puts his hands on or scratches the back of his neck as a nervous tic—#he likes the color byzantine he puts his eartails back when fighting cause they get in the way he sleeps on his face cause his back hurts—#he jokes about the bad situations he’s in he idolizes people way too easily and he takes everything people say to heart but doesn’t show it#I think he probs didn’t take beating Dracula the first time very well if Richter’s possession being inspired by his Quest means anything—#aoouggh then I take the ending of CV2 the way I do and mannnnnnnnnn—#do you think he knew people would care about and look up to him so much after that?#does anyone else think about things like this?#ah the tragedy of the Belmont family#hmmm anyway—
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Always get so worked up when people are like “Batman doesn’t kill people, he just puts them in critical care, isn’t that worse?” And it’s. NO. No it isn’t worse because that’s the point the point is that he hurts them to the point they wish they are dead I-
Modern Batman especially, but even early Batman portray “Batman” as something ominous. It isn’t normal, it isn’t what a normal person should want to be like. Batman is unflinching and merciless amd drops out of the shadows because he’s supposed to be creepy!! He’s an eepy creepy lil dude!
The original origin of the “bat” part of Batman was bats being seen as a bad omen. They’re ominous, they denote bad luck. Bruce says that criminals are all superstitious, so ge decides to dress as a bat. This is literally the first explanation given for why Batman Batmans, and it all leads back to the sole fact that Bruce is trying to scare people.
He WANTS to be the Boogey-Man hiding under beds, he’s AIMING to be the eyes watching ominously from the shadows, he’s TRYING to be scary!
Death is scary, but the lead up to death is the scariest part, isn’t it?
Horror movies are scary because of the unrelenting figure stalking through the night. Slashers were scary because they killed with knives- it took multiple, painful stabs to die. Saw was considered scary because the injuries the traps inflict, the horror stems from imagining yourself in that position and wondering if you could hurt yourself to the point you would wish you were dead to live.
That’s the horror of Batman. An ominous omen. A creature that doesn’t stop until it reaches its prey. A stalker who knows more about you than you know about yourself. Death is more desirable, because death equals escape and this is a monster you will never be able to escape from.
That was the horror of It Follows, wasn’t it? The monster was everywhere and nowhere, always following, unrelenting, and the only way to escape was to give it to someone else.
Batman makes villains wish they were dead and that is the point. That is literally what he’s going for. Bruce Wayne has stocks in Gotham Hospital EMTs and he’s going to cash in right before he retires. The pain is inflicted on purpose. “I don’t want to kill anyone” is not the same phrase as “I don’t want to hurt anyone.” He wants to hurt people. Just, undeniably. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually; he wants them to be hurt.
And I can’t stand when people act like hurting people goes against his morals. Has Batman ever said he didn’t want to hurt anybody? It was a lie, if he ever did, because he definitely hurts himself literally everyday on purpose. He’s an eepy! Creepy! Spooky! Little! Guy! Let him be an eepy creepy spooky little guy!
#the inane ramblings of a madman#long post#dc#bruce wayne#batman comics#batman#horror#halloween#it’s the harvest moon#may our stresses be over and our passions return#anyway#i will always stand by batman being at its core horror#it isn’t always horror for us as the audience#but it certainly is always horror for criminals#also i just think bruce enjoys scaring people#i think he likes it#my evidence? he keeps scaring people#i’ve been a workin on the railroad#aka i’ve been so stressed out with my job that i come home and collapse#i had to get this batman analysis out of my system#i need to obsess over batman for my mental health#my eepy creepy spooky lil guy#i think we’re all sleeping on the inherent horror of the batfam#stalker man who never shows his true emotions man with a hair string trigger stalker 2 tiny child raised to assassinate#stalker young women who would kill her father if it weren’t for the laws of this land young women trained to assassinate people#and duke over there literally glows in the dark#like#i could so easily write horror of these people#honestly
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December 14 - Spare Time
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | ...
#rottmnt#rise fanart#rise of the tmnt#rise raph#rise donnie#brains and brawn#they're sciencin' your honor#i love this duo so much even back in 2003#“anyway journal” wise - i wanted to do so much today#like read fics and actually write again#but instead i woke up with a day-long migraine ;-; ended up just sleeping most of the day and drinking soup#i think i'm getting sick which sucks and staring at the screen just to doodle this hurt so bad#excedrin my love i need you to actually work again#whoops ramble over ok goodnight T___T#teidoodle#tei's dec23
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the eternal struggle of reading webcomics/manga/manh(w/u)a that i think are really good but have cringe ass titles so i can't recommend them without someone doubting my sensibilities and taste in stories
#not that my tastes are *that* good...#or do people ask me for good comics often enough for this to be a real problem#or.. people talking to me at all for this conversation to come up...#anyway please ask for some comics to read. i need someone to join me in my warrior's path#of reading things but never finishing them because either they aren't done being#written and/or translated yet..#or whatever the word for when adhd says i can't read any more because the story is *too* good and so i get paralysis trying to keep reading#to anyone curious-#i just caught up with sss-class revival hunter#and was reminded how much of a sucker i am for romance... ;_:#GUH i can't gush in the tags here... there's already too many tags#but it's soo good#here's my recommend of it for those reading the tags:#really good starting plot- read a synopsis for that i'm bad at that#there's a little dip in attention keeping between the end of the introduction phase and when he starts floor 10#but if you get past that little dip it's all up hill from there#ough i'm still thinking about it.#IT'S NOT A ROMANCE BTW. the most recent plot is romance but that's not the overarching thing#at least for what's out. idk how much what happened is going to effect the rest of the story#ok ok i need to stop talking about it because i'm getting too riled up and overpowering the melatonin i took. don't want to break my sleep#schedule over this#key's lockbox#rambling in tags#btw i don't have shame in the stuff i read regardless of their bad titles#i just wanted to use this premise to get my words out about enjoying my latest read
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redraw <3 the lyrics have like no relevance to these characters anymore but oh well it’s cute
the original… it’s from 2019 i think
#bluu.oc#bluu.original#isak#aodhán#no id#oc art#the original is under the cut because i hate it so much. but it’s nice to compare them#you will not believe me but isak was in fact supposed to be chinese in the original too#we don’t have to talk about it. or whatever was going on with aodhán#idk what’s going on with his arm *now* tbh i think i’m just gonna get rid of the prosthetic#the idea with that thing on his arm is he can summon a hard light construct arm when he needs it#but i rlly can’t imagine him using it much and it would probs#be uncomfortable to sleep with#unless he puts a fuzzy sock over it or something#idk i’ll figure it out#anyways hi. tag rambles. yeah#also i feel like i need to clarify. isak uses he/him pronouns#shockingly he is cis. or like vaguely nonbinary but all my ocs are. for all intents and purposes he’s a man#don’t be fooled by the blue hair
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literally still thinking abt the liveshow. like that will be burned into my memory but also im SO SAD bc i think bc of technical difficulties this show isn't actually being uploaded to the paetron BUT IT WAS GENUINELY SO FUCKING GOOD. Like the dads as teens interacting with the s2 teens ??????? the dads as babies ???????? GENUINELY? I WISH I COULD BEAM MY MEMORY OF THIS SHOW INTO ALL UR BRAINS i need more ppl to know of its existence so i can scream about it. Also never fucking recovering from emo teenager henry actually
#dndads#cal rambles#like there was genuinely so much#so much stuff that I KNOW the tumblr part of the fandom would absolutely lose their shit over#IM SO SAD THAT IM NOT GONNA SEE THAT HAPPEN#WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BEINF SO ECTASTIC THAT I GOT TO WITNESS IT#normal stabbed tilt in the heart with an arrow btw she kept trying to call his bluff and he got increasingly more unhinged#I CANT EVEN DESCRIBE EVERYTING THAT HAPPENED ACTUALLY SORRY IM JUSY STILL REALING FROM NORM STILL BEING SO MISERABLE AND UNHINGED#DESPITE THIS BEING PRE-S2 CANON#anyways genuinely if anyone has ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL abt it I WILL ANSWER!!!!!!!!!#rolling on ghe fucking ground i cant cover everything#not over glenn telling taylor he's perfect just the way he is ans to never change#not over henry telling normal to be his best self and GIVING NORMAL THE PG FIRST DRAWING OF TEENIE THEREBY INSPIRING NORMAL TO BE TEENIE#not over Scary instantly having a crush on emo teen Henry#not over Link saying PEACE OUT FUCKERS and leaving them all behind in what is essentially dimensional prison#not over the teenage Henry writing poetry abt Daryl and wanting to ask him out#TBH I HAVENT TALKED MUCH ABT IT BUT THE FIRST HALF WHERE THEY WERE BABIES? THAT WAS FUCKING TOP NOTCH TOO#anyways. i need to calm down and go the fuck to sleep
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they shouldn't let me stay up past midnight bc then I start identifying every single problem I've ever had. No solutions found. Net zero personal progress and 0.5 hours of sleep are achieved
#ramblings of a lunatic#ignore me I'm having a moment#actually wait that's one of the problems we (the brain council) identified. is my need to not have problems where ppl can see#oh very problematic of my brain. not a fan#look i just got out on christmas break for college the term is catching up to me#i didn't make any real friends and it's not that I'm surprised..but yeah I'm surprised. i forgot about My Whole Deal somehow#like girl do the math. 7 yrs to make A FRIEND. SINGULAR. came pre packaged w/ 2 friends but took you 4 more years to make another one-#-independtly. straight up did not understand friendship and human relationships until you were at least 16#did we honestly think we were gonna knock it out of the park in terms of socialising this first term???? did we????#wishful thinking ig#oughh. college...bad. or not bad but. strange. and lonely. and yeah kinda bad#existentially horrifying in ways i didn't even realise were possible. i get why so many tma fans were college students/grads now#college just irl cosmic horror#anyway. i think i should try and sleep now lest the brain demons get the better of me#but also I've gotten like. 4 hours of sleep total over the last 6 days- not for lack of trying mind you#so like. I'm anticipating a struggle.
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it's been awhile since i was in any production i forgor how much of it - esp when you're close to the end - is just. doing the same things over and over again. maybe changing outfits sometimes. Man
#show in 8 days let's go.........a#tbh we only just reached the 'do the exact same things over and over' stage now#and even still experimenting here and there lmao 😭#so ig it's at least fresh :P#did i tell y'all that my role got bigger? thankfully no script and i think it's p fun but since it's all movement i worry that i'll stumble.#or drop my stuff. which is fine at certain points but not all of them. i hope for the best tho 🥺#i'm generally approaching it in good vibes lately i noticed 😳#possibly bc. we usually have 2 directors but now we're working exclusively with one and she is wayyyy more chill#(well. more anxious. but she never gets angry or loud and she goes along with what we ask n such)#(ironically it used to be that i always ditched on one of her days but now i feel less stressed abt them. so it's fine now 🫡)#(starting to suspect that a lot of my anxiety is actually related to the other director but that's smth to unpack later.)#anyway ignore my rambling i need to sleep but also ehhhhhhhhhh my phone time in bed.....😔💔
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#rambling to the void#ive not reached rock bottom#ive slammed face first into it#i’m exhausted#i haven’t been sleeping#and i don’t feel real and everything is going to shit#i did in fact just call my ex boyfriend and ask him to come over so i can sleep#how did the call go?#‘ik u used to hit me but can u come and lay in my bed so i can sleep’#dude i will literally peel my skin off if i don’t get some decent sleep soon. i get its a shit idea but it’s the best ive got#like pls#rock fucking bottom lmao#anyways it’s not. he won’t hurt me now so we’re all peachy. i just need to hear someone else breathing so i can sleep#tw abuse#<- past abuse
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Okay random ass thought I just had at 1:30 in the morning trying to go to sleep, but in the Ninjago Movie how did they even stay their own city/(possible)country before the Secret Ninjago Force?
Did they have cops and a coastguard or army that actually did something and a bunch of them died before just letting the Secret Ninja Force take over? Or was Wu and it over to his brother and his army? Like what did they do before the SNF?
Cause I highly doubt Garmadon waited 12 or 14 years to start attacking Ninjago, he already had an army, he kept getting more people obviously if he was firing all those general#1s!
I understand if he possibly took a few months to plan, or he spelt some time mourning Koko leaving him and then just shoving himself in concoring Ninjago or something. Like he didn't do it immediately after Koko left him of course but still!!
#like wtf was going on before wu officially started training children???#theres a death count not even a mile long#it's over the mile#how was this city not already taken over??#genuiisly I need answers#“I don't need sleep. I need answers!”#well they're legos so they didn't die maybe??? but like some stuff is real things while others are lego???#idk anymore 😭😭#lego ninjago movie#ninjago movie#ninjago#rambles#thoughts#anyway goodnighttt#WAIT NO THEY CAN DIE#THE SKELETONSNSS#maemories
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i sooo miss writing fanfiction <- unlikely to do anything about this
#consumed by the blorbos but unmotivated to write#well. unmotived to write fanfic#i need more sleep yall#in case anyone couldn't tel#l#anyways how are yall doing how are we out there#how are the little people in my phone#how are we feeling about THE LACK OF UKSIES grrr#it's fine i'm fine i'm totally completely fine#i feel like i've been neglecting my tumblr recently which is a sin tbh my poor baby#i've like run out of things to say or whatever#that's a lie i have so many things to say#and most of them are about jonathan larson#okay that's today's episode of mikey rambles in the tags over#byebye mwah mwah send me asks prompts thoughts rants rambles etc etc etc BYEEE
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this close to deleting tiktok
#the lesbian community over there is something that scares me so bad#rhis is what happens when we as a community dont make efforts to research our own history#anyway. i need to sleep#pluiplup's rambles
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Tech product guides trying to troubleshoot your issues: lol have you tried turning it off and turning it on again 🧐 I'm not going to read any of the things you said you did, if it doesn't work then get fucked. Go to settings and click this option that you said isn't even there anymore
Reddit: here's some actual helpful suggestions on where to find settings that can fix your problem. We're more reliable than google search. Except for when we just tell you to buy new hardware instead of trying to fix your problem
Some obscure tech blog article from 7 years ago: i *google ad* gotchu *google ad* *google ad* *troubleshooter you never knew existed* *google ad* *solution to your problem*
#tell me why i just spent the last four hours troubleshooting issues caused by NOT PLUGGING IN ESSENTIAL CABLES#in my defense i havent worked on the internals of a pc in seven years#but goddamn it was infuriating that the solution to my problems was to plug in a cable three times in a row#it's almost like i didnt have unnecessary cables in there and was keeping the extra one for a reason#but of course the fucking product site wont tell you this#i had to figure out i was missing the goddamn power cable from a youtube video on the bluetooth card installation#and before that i had to plug in a cable that my brother (the person who GAVE ME THIS MOTHERBOARD) said was unnecessary#like HOW did your computer function. mister sir this thing froze on startup without the cpu power supplement cable#extra support my ass#i would love it if msi motherboard installation guides mentioned the bluetooth cable too but noooo#may god help you if you ever have a bluetooth issue because ive had them plenty of times and they are fucking impossible to fix#this is why i quit robotics LMAO#anyways. rant over my pc is built now and the new setup is sooo pretty.#my brother did one thing right with this motherboard and that was installing ram with rgb leds 🥰#rainbow hardware my beloved#my old motherboard had these gorgeous leds and then they just stopped working :c i want more#at least this giant desktop is off my floor now. a tour group apparently was here while i wasn't on monday#(super pissed about that btw. if it happens again i will be tearing the office a new one bc we weren't even notified)#like i kicked that thing plenty just trying to walk around my room. it was right by the door. god wont save you if you break my shit#if someone else kicked that thing while in my apartment when i wasn't here. hoo boy#ok that's enough it's 6am and i finished my cocoa espresso three hours ago. i have two athletic classes today i need to sleep#imaginechats#<- new tag!! i might start rambling more#bc i love never shutting the fuck up 😄#it is a play on imaginecat btw if anyone was wondering. i go by that occasionally as a play on imaginealpha#less formal more cute nickname type thing
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My issue with ttpd is that my thoughts change on it very often and I feel like I shouldn’t give my opinion on it because I’ve barely listened to the second half of it (aside from obvious standouts like the bolter and imgonnagetyouback). The second half just isn’t my listening style at the moment. I would maybe like it better if it was mixed in between songs from the first half so it feels less like a sad block of emotion to me (because I don’t need that energy in my life).
#idk I felt weird about evermore when it came out bc I was very much obsessed with folklore still but I got over that within a few months#I’m getting to a point now where I don’t know if I’m ever actually going to enjoy the either on its own or as part of the first half#autumn rambles#anyway i seriously need to sleep
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