#i dont need them. i can live without them. and so can you. you deserve better
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
storywestistrash · 2 months ago
Text
i am actually so tired of the way westerners treat eastern europeans
#fair warning for. a very very long ramble and rant in the tags. apologies#westerner or russian. no other option#westerner because the only thought they ever have is 'but they had universal housing so if you oppose ussr you oppose that'#(which is stupid becuse you can believe in that WITHOUT WANTING LIKE 6 COUNTRIES TO BE FORCED TO BE RULED OVER BY RUSSIA)#(SORRY FOR WANTING TO LIVE IN MY COUNTRY WITH MY HISTORY AND MY CULTURE AND NOT RUSSIA!!) (poland was a sattelite state but GOD)#or russian because they have a victim complex and are convinced that they deserve to rule over the entire damn world#'well you had universal housing so you had it easy' right yeah. okay. forget about like. everything else that happened#to eastern europeans during that time#forget about the things that are STILL issues all these years later not only in poland but like the more eastern countries too#its not about. the fact that the houses 'didnt have 3 bedrooms and a jacuzzi' in them. you DUMB SACK OF SHIT#god sorry. sorry. i also know so very little but like god damn i fucking live here. i didnt sit thru all that modern history#for some dumbfuck to say that 'ohhh only rich and american middle class people are happy the ussr was dissolved'#'oooh the dissolving of the ussr was illegal and the countries within it actually liked being there'#im just so fucking tired man i need to. i need to start killing people#and this is all not to mention that theyll say this stupid shit and then deny eastern europeans the things they actually did that were good#FUCK french people for trying to claim maria skłodowska. fuck americans for trying to claim the witcher as their own fantasy world#fuck the way the west is allowed to claim and destroy eastern european culture without any consequence because we dont matter enough#vaguely related but ill throw this in here since anyone finding it is unlikely and im scared of having this opinion#i think one underappreciated aspect of DE (which might be underappreciated because its not actually there and im stupid)#is that its pro-communist while still also giving some criticism to how it was handled and acknowledging that its still not perfect#which makes the writers much better communists than any self-proclaimed one ive ever met in my life who just worships the idea#perhaps its because the writers of the game were not white upper middle-class americans living in the suburbs. among other things#idk de is a game for people far smarter than me and i only played it once and im sure anyone who played it well can clock me as a bad perso#horrible horrible person even which is why im scared of mentioning it. but its an interesting thing. to me#the main thing is that im just not. im not far left enough i suppose. i agree communism in theory is a great idea. as far as i know it#(which isnt very far)#but chances of implementing it correctly in a way that doesnt take away from peoples happiness in other areas is. low. very low#i wrote a short essay about how utopias are inherently contradictory ideas once it wasnt very deep or good but like#you cant have universal happiness without restricting certain freedoms. and when those freedoms are resticted not everyone#will be happy. and then theyre unhappy they will have to be somehow removed or ignored
16 notes · View notes
lemonyinks · 1 year ago
Text
I didn't like Mekt much but I do hate seeing him only utilized as a villain, as if Legion Worlds didn't happen.
Where is the Mekt who admitted that he was wrong to let his loneliness and jealousy dictate how he acted? Where is the Mekt that worked to be better? Where is the Mekt who welcomed Ayla home and put himself in harms way to help her save their parents farm? Where is the Mekt that delighted at the idea of seeing Garth again and was sad to hear he wasn't really coming back?
I don't know. Maybe it's just me but Mekt works so much better as a character of redemption and reconciliation than as one who stays bitter and antagonistic. He's more interesting that way
27 notes · View notes
jellycreamjammedart · 1 year ago
Text
Do NOT get invested in a Discord server where every breath you take has you walking on eggshells (at best) despite trying to be careful and compliant as much as you can, to the point you not only feel discouraged and unmotivated to share anything in there because it made your brain replace the giddy first thought of "I hope they find joy in it like I did!" with the ghoulish first thought of "I wonder what problematic thing they could still find in it after I already sanitized it as much as I possibly can," but also give you crushing anxiety over whether or not you should share a thing in there to the point it takes you all day to actually make your choice: you choose not to, or you do it and still regret it despite your utmost care-- doing it and succeeding are extremely rare lucky shots at best.
And you must know you're having it bad when whenever you get a ping/@ from there your brain thinks first thing instead of "Oh my! Someone thought of me when saying/showing something or wants to show me something or just talk to me!" it's a thought like "Oh boy! I wonder what I could possibly be getting grilled for this time no matter how careful I tried to be."
Dont do this to yourself hon. You dont need that anxiety and creativity-hindering environment where youre basically doomed and set up into getting in trouble from the start bc of the way things are handled. Yes even if people there are (apparently) nice-- just ask to add those you wanna keep in contact with and then hit da bricks, man. There are many other *actually* friendly servers out there even if theyre smaller-- bigger doesnt necessarily mean great, after all; ive certainly felt much happier and more positive in my smaller servers and now aim to stick with them <3
Tldr; dont stick or get invested in Discord servers (or any other online spaces really) that makes you anxious and paranoid of your every typed word or image/content shared or your every online move there to the point of unmotivation and discouragement- that place's not healthy for you; leave it hit da bricks, there are better places just waiting for you to come across that will *genuinely* take you in with open arms
12 notes · View notes
girlthingdecay · 11 months ago
Text
.
#i kind of want to kill myself. im so disconnected from anything. i have no original thought. everything is scripted#everything is just put together pieces from things ive heard elsewhere and i do not have a single original thought#everyone can see that im masks all the way down and everyone can see that i am nothing underneath and even that is a stolen way of saying it#i have no way of making nothing palatable but i am simply nothing. invite me over and ill try to adapt to you and write a new script based#off new media but if you make me truly comfortable and somehow manage to unplug my behavior then youll be rewarded with me just sitting#beside you on the floor and staring at whatever media you show me without speaking much and only occasionally seeking further warmth from#you#i vocalized it to someone close recently but im a nothing void and i wish people all acted in exactly the way i wanted regardless#i have selfish fantasies about people just doing everything to make everything easy for me and if i were a god i would be an entirely#selfish one#if the right people would go and stay as i please even though im a nothing void and dont deserve them around#if they would all do whatever i needed like gave me cuddles or sex or affirmation or money or treats#if life was one long cycle of being the most treated god by everyone then maybe i could be something i dont know#maybe something could be manifested into me#everyone already projects an idea onto me so maybe a collective idea held by all with a great deal of love would make whatever they say of#me true and maybe then id exist fully#until then oh well#though in reality im just sanitizing a bit. having others fully as puppets serving me isnt something that i want because i think itll “fix”#me by any measures and id likely only grow far more sadistic and selfish but i wish for that world because i could live in perfect comfort#i could do anything i wanted and have anything i wanted and nobody would stop me#sorry this is just like. a long rambling in tags. i should shut up now
9 notes · View notes
vagueiish · 3 months ago
Text
what exactly is one supposed to do about accepting things you can't control when the thing you can't control is a person who is actively fucking over many people, including children?
#especially children#like itd not be an issue if the children were not involved. the person would be persona non grata#but the children exist and are involved and we have no legal recourse apparently. so what the fuck. what the fuck#i want to leave. i cant leave. i want to leave#i think id want to leave anyway without this person just bc im sick of this place#but this person makes things 10x worse#the children give me pause bc i do love them but also. maybe this makes me sound shitty. theyre not my repsonsibility#maybe if i can get my own life set up and get stable on my own id try to get the children away from this person#but rn it's not happening#sometimes i think this person had kids to babytrap us into not booting them#honestly i think the law should allow for one free punch#i dont think violence is nec3ssarily the answer for...most things#but some people ....some people need a#need to be socked in the fucking jaw and face tangible consequences for their actions#bc they dont face any consequences otherwise#or at least dont recognize any other consequences as being the direct result of their own selfish dickhead actions#alas. the law is the law#and everything here feels so precarious as it is#it sucks though that 'wanting to control someone else's actions' in this case is i want this person to treat other people fucking decently#and be respectful of their time and the fact that they have their own lives#i get being a parent is hard but to force other people to pick up your slack without any input from them#thereby controlling their lives and fucking them over#and thats just straight up shit behavior. the hardships of parenthood do not justify that#and you barely parent. screaming at kids for being kids is not parenting#and literally nobody made you bring these poor kids into the world. this was 100% your choice#and sure prochoice but honestly people who can choose otherwise having kids when they have to know full well#that they neither have the capacity nor actual desire to actually attempt to parent#they deserve a slap. fuck it. i dont have it in me for compassion#and i have a lot more to say actually that wont fit in the tags. whoops#to the void with love
2 notes · View notes
ruralcat · 1 year ago
Text
am i jaded or do men really just fucking suck
14 notes · View notes
local-limebug · 10 months ago
Text
what the fuck is up with the rise in trans hate how are people this sensitive about what someone else wants to do with their own body
#limebug.txt#literally its my life and i can live it however i want#and if the people around me try to stop me i WILL cut them off idc who they are i'm sorry#just fucking. let people live. god#if i let my hate win the way bigots let theirs win i'd be fucking lynched by religious mobs#insult my identity and i have to deal with it cause its your freedom of speech but i insult yours and i'm gonna go to a fake bad place??#god i hate religious people sometimes#so many transphobes either call it a mental illness or hate it because god said so and both of those are such STUPID takes#religion. well thats self explanatory#but mental illness??#that tells me everything i need to know about what they think of actual mentally ill people too#you wanna stop ppl from transitioning because its mental illness?? gonna take away bodily autonomy from other mentally ill ppl too now??#and ik they do with institutionalization and shit but that's such bs too#people deserve help but they only need to be locked up if they are hurting someone else#that's my controversial opinion for the day: people who only harm themselves dont deserve to have their autonomy taken away#even if they are hurting themselves. you can try to help but if someone doesnt want help then leave them tf alone#and what really differentiaties piercings and tattoos from 'self mutilation' anyway#'god made you one way you cant change' fucking cry about it. humans have made the technology and i am going to utilize it#i will desecrate the face of god without hesitation.#i will mutilate myself gladly. i should have the legally protected right to mutilate myself because it falls under bodily autonomy.#transphobes are not the brightest
6 notes · View notes
kerorowhump · 1 year ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
#keroro#i love this. she is me. i can live my unbridled amounts of cute aggression towards him THRU HER#i literally need to do this irl#like i just skimmed ep 64 bc i was curious about this trauma switch thing and ive never wanted to grab him and whack him around more#in an affectionate way not because im mad at him oh no. i understand him so deeply. i feel him. i know his most inner psyche.#and he inspires unrecorded levels of senseless violence in me#me in my little ignoramus bubble writing a 4 pages dissertation on his character anyway bc like. i get him ok#his deep seated sense of guilt that he's constantly fighting against. that he needs to repress and deny in order to function.#his fear of abandonment. fear of never being enough. not being able to make up for it. for himself. thats why hes self sacrificing#his selfish childishness that comes from not having been allowed a lot in his youth. taking friends for granted in his past but knowing -#you dont fit in with them. constantly apologizing for yourself. taking space. too much. self indulgence. because friends is s scary concept#and yet one you couldnt survive without. letting them walk all over you. denying your anger. your fears. crawling back to them with a smile#at their feet and biting time because what you really want is friends. company. but you think you don't deserve it. deep down.#maybe u dont. your worst reminder the friend you love. and if they ditch you it's deserved. you don't need them (you do)#why am i rambling!!!! he has ruined me. if im wrong dont even tell me bc i prefer this version in my head anyway#*charlie voice* look at me. psychological trauma up to here#im not saying growing up poor with a father that shames you for your interests and ''disciplines'' you made him selfish but. no yes!#i am saying that. bc i know how it is. growing up with friends that have a lot that u can never afford. u feel guilty just being with them#ok we strayed a lot from the og post which is just me saying I WANNA PUNCH THIS GUY SO BAD (he is me)#keroro gunso
6 notes · View notes
be-good-to-bugs · 1 year ago
Text
when i feel very lonely i get fizzled out of doing anything after less than an hour
#the bin#been feeling much more lonely since moving into this apartment and i cant draw bc of it#cause i have trouble continuing things i was drawing earlier. when i try im filled with this horrible exhaustion and sadness#its easier to feel better when im living more alone because i can play music or walk around and talk to myself and try to make things#brighter for me but when im living with someone especially someone who i really dislike its just impossible to do#and worse i have to hear them be here which just makes me feel even worse#ugh. my relationship with my sister has gone from bleh to awful. her absolute refusal to take me into consideration for anything including#bringing people over at nogjt without even telling me at all. the last straw. absolutely the last straw#hey yknow id love it if in the middle of the noght when i want a snack and dont wanna get all dressed id like to know theres someone here#cause id rather not them need the bathroom the same time and im just in my underwear. but noooo i dont have the need to know theres#some other person in my facking home. nope not my right#the thing where she insists she tells me that she was gonna have someone over when she didnt has been pissing me off a lot because she#uses the fact i have a poor memory to say why actually i misremembered..shes like well ur perception of reality sucks so u THINK u#remember correctly but actually u totally dont but like. im not having problems rememberi g other things like that right now. and i#distinctly remember these conversations and i always make not of when someoens gonna be here and when you tell me i remember#and theres so much proof that she also forgets stuff. but i honestly think she might be intentionally lying abt it because she forgot#to ask or didnt want me to say no. well i am saying no. idc if theyre already here. yall can go hangout elsewhere bc i wasnt told abt tjis#and i deserve to have quiet in my own home. its literally all i have.#ive been feeling like maybe shes not so bad. people grow and change and sometimes you dontjat in different directions#and you dont get along well anymore. i hear her say to other people that im still her favorite person so its very one sided abt this#honestly though its not just that we dont get along well anymore but nobody is at fault because she is at fault#its not like i never let her bring people over. i do. im just askingmthat im notified first. and her response to forgetting or choosing not#to tell me is to use my mental health things against me to say im just too mentally ill to knoq if i remember tnings cleatly#then how come tnis only ever happens with this thing or cleaning stuff? it ONLY rver happens with stuff that she wouldve needed to tell me#about that are important. oh an important bill i needed to know abt but u didnt tell me? i did but u forgot.#but never anything else. its only ever tnings that she would be in the wrong for not telling me about if she hadnt. thats it#so yonow im thinking maybe. u didnt tell me. which wouldnt blther me so much if she didnt just say actually i did but ur schizophrenia#made u forget wow ur so insano haha#ugh. she sucks. literally dont even wanna built legos with her even tho the set is cool as fuck bc being around her sucks#wow sorry for my many many many tags complaining about my sister. living with her is awful :/
1 note · View note
snekdood · 1 year ago
Text
i really try to understand why my fellow progressives are so avoidant of actually introspecting on why they think its still cool to bully. im sorry but thats just an inherently conservative thing to want to do.
#ive had to actually introspect about it. i was never really a bully fr but i did. like everyone else. have judgemental thoughts about ppl#still. and i really had to ask myself. why does it matter that EYE judge this person? 1. im holding my own opinion of this other random#person i probably dont know as being the most important opinion when its like. who tf am i. 2. wtf did this person MORALLY do wrong#to deserve me internally insulting them for how they look or dress or whatever. and even if its someone whos a conservative.#how does me judging that person make the entire situation better at all? it really only just. makes me feel better about the lack of#power i have over that person to not be a dipshit. thats really it#insulting them isnt going to change their mind and LIKE IVE SAID A MILLION TIMES will ONLY make them dig their heels in more#im not saying go up to your local rwinger and give them a hug and validate them or whatever tf. thats not your job. all im asking is simply#shut your brain the entire fuck up when it wants to judge someone for something that they cant control or is morally neutral#charlie kirk having a small face is morally neutral. his politics? not so much! attack that. at least.#(not that the memes aren't funny- but we cant fool ourselves into thinking bullying him is gonna change him or his fans)#i just wanna know why you think your opinion on how someone looks or dresses or whatever is that important is all#the best motto anyone can adopt really is 'MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS' ffs#your opinion on their appearance really doesnt matter like at all! instead of feeling the urge to have an opinion on the way they look#simply let some things ~be~. have 0 opinion about how they look or if theyre weird and awkward. focus on the shit that ACTUALLY matters#you dont always have to sort things in boxes of 'good' and 'bad'. some things can just exist without you labeling them.#and also why do you NEED to label everything and who are you and why do you think your label is important enough to vocalize?#anyways.#and im not gonna act like ive been perfect about this but this is work that we're always gonna hafta do so long as we live in a#susciety that places value on other people and labels them on whether or not theyre good enough for whatever thing#competition outside of friendly sportsball will always be bad change my mind#if the sportsball gets to be unfriendly and too intense to the point that you hate someone you need to fuckin chill and leave the event#lmao. like you've gotta go and take a shower and think for a bit instead of continuing to funnel your rage into ppl who dont deserve it :|#i wanna be clear tho i dont think theres anything morally wrong w making fun of charlie kirk for how he looks. just recognize the reason ur#doing it. bc ur not doing it bc ur someone crusading against misinfo or whatever ur doing it bc u dont know how to convince#him to stop and are throwing spaghetti at the wall
1 note · View note
maxlarens · 5 months ago
Text
CL: guess the heat drives people crazy
Tumblr media
pairing(s): charles leclerc x artist!reader
summary: you’re not used to having a boyfriend, let alone having a famous one. though you’d like to think you’re taking your new found status as a wag in your stride. charles certainly thinks so. [smau] [part 2 to this fic]
fc: faceless and some alexandra saint mleux
a/n: sorry this took so long! i was honestly kinda unsure how i wanted to do this. i wasn’t sure if i wanted to do a little storyline but i basically ended up just doing a bunch of little snapshots of their relationship 😇
Tumblr media
@ynusername just posted…
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
liked by @rowan, @charlesleclerc and others
ynusername wildflowers, the waves where we met, on the way to our first dinner
chloegarelli i did that!☝🏻☝🏻
⤷ ynusername okay 😐 dont get too big for ur britches
user1 is that……..?
⤷ user2 CHARLES RIGHT?
⤷ user1 yes wtf!?
⤷ user3 you are delusional you can only see his hands
⤷ user2 AND?? he is in her likes
rowan we did it joe‼️
⤷ chloegarelli four years in the making iktr
⤷ chloegarelli i’d like to thank the american people and i’d like to thank democracy for this win
⤷ ynusername we are MONEGASQUE?
⤷ ynusername anyway u guys are the most insane couple i have ever met
⤷ rowan and you’re stuck with us foreverrrr
user4 no one is talking about how adorable this is. the waves where we met like UR KIDDING!
⤷ user5 if she is actually dating charles then he is literally the luckiest man alive
Tumblr media
@f1wagupdates just posted…
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
tagged @ynusername @charlesleclerc
liked by @chloegarelli, @ynusername and others
f1wagupdates ‼️🚨 new wag alert ��‼️ monegasque painter yn yln has been spotted getting cozy with charles on his yacht. it’s believed they met while on holiday in italy several months ago🥺
user1 fell to my knees in the grocery store
⤷ user1 THAT SHOULD BE ME
⤷ user1 but if it had to be anyone else im glad its her
user2 oh i KNEW that was him on her instagram three months ago. vindication.
user3 stop she is so pretty
⤷ user4 like attracts like
rowan cats out of the bag @chloegarelli
⤷ chloegarelli WE DID THIS EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU
⤷ user5 thank you oh my god
⤷ user6 THANK YOU
⤷ charlesleclerc thank you😁
[❤️ by f1wagupdates]
user7 need to see them together at a race
⤷ user8 CHARLES GET HER ON THE PADDOCK
⤷ charlesleclerc 🫡
ynusername oh my god. not the picture of him pushing me into the water😐
⤷ user9 OH i love her ur honour
⤷ f1wagupdates I’M SORRY!
⤷ rowan don’t apologise its so perfect
⤷ charlesleclerc Stop I tripped!!!!!!!!! I told you!!!!!
⤷ ynusername u did NOT trip!!!!
⤷ user10 they are my everything wtf
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
@ynusername just posted…
Tumblr media Tumblr media
tagged @charlesleclerc
liked by @charlesleclerc @f1 @scuderiaferrari and others
ynusername charles, the week we met we talked about what the monaco gp meant to you. the place your dreams took root, the one race you wanted so badly it hurt, the city you wanted to love you back. i could feel your yearning for that win as deeply as i feel for my own ambitions. i knew then that we understood each other like i have never understood anyone else in my life. and i knew, somehow i knew, that you would be on the top step of that podium. charles, i am endlessly proud of you and all the hard work you did to get here. you deserve this. i love you. and monaco loves you.
user1 charles monaco gp win you are everything to me
user2 they’re in love in love!!! WTFFFF
scuderiaferrari ❤️
user3 god let me have what they have i cant handle this
chloegarelli im tearing up yall are like my babies
user4 HE DID IT!!!!
charlesleclerc oh I love you I love you I love you
⤷ charlesleclerc How would I have done this without you?
⤷ ynusername I am so proud of you baby. I love you ❤️
⤷ user5 this interaction changed lives
⤷ user6 how do i reasonably find love after this. how am i supposed to be satisfied with anything less???
Tumblr media
🎨 i just KNOW her caption would make the rounds on tumblr
1K notes · View notes
shotofstress · 3 months ago
Text
Coming back after being almost a week without electricity, phone, and internet connection. Huge storms with lightning and rain, and winds. We have never have winds like that here and the roof of so many houses were ripped off, stuff flying, etc. All this bc global warming, and the deforestation and mining in our lands. At this rate, in 5 years we will have tornadoes, a thing we have never ever have here. Nor our lands, infrastructures, states, and culture are prepared for this. Areas of the country are devastated, ppl have died, many are without electricity nor Internet connection so they are isolated. The houses are flooding with water, and the ones that not, are leaking from the ceiling. Too many neighbours and compatriots don't have roofs and the streets are full of fallen trees and pieces of roof material, no electricity, no signal, food rotting, but suffering at the same time for the cold of this terrible winter, and trying to do something, patching even when its gonna go to hell when the storm comes again this next days. More than 33,200 people affected and 41,500 isolated due to 5 days of rain and windstorms. In just a couple of days there were 170,000 homes left without power due to wind and rainstorms and even more as time went by.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
If u want to help me to fix the roof, walls, to buy food and being warm this winter please check my Ko-fi. If u can't donate, please reblog bc thats the only way to make this being seen by ppl thus receiving help. I'm really not being able to keep living like this, i can no longer cope, so please share.
Here are in my PayPal or MACH . I took the kofi link bc they were charging me a fee.
Please, educate about global warming and the effects on Global South, specially for working class, chronically ill, autistic, disable, and long covid survivor ppl like myself.
Edit: I added links and pics
Edit: the weather is getting better, but I still need to fix were I live/sleep bc the walls are broken and one of the walls is not a wall, but like 1cm wide stuff and all was bad build so even the door is twisted and dont work correctly, there is black mold, the paint is falling, the lamp has fallen, everything is broken and ugly, etc. I still need to buy food and everything so please, please, share or donate if you could. I don't want to survive like this and here, no one mask even when they were the ones giving me covid bc of it and they have making me also catch flue the other day bc they cogh over everything and don't care if they kill me, they are abusive and really violent people and are working to put me and everyone in danger. I dont even want to be in my country bc we will have a dictatorship soon, but I have nowhere else to go nor money to migrate (i need like $10.537 dollars or € 9.760,95 euros to pay all the documents, the bank money I have to show to prove I am a human being deserver of rights, the tickets, rent money and stuff to migrate).
I currently have $100 dollars donated (coz i spent 40 in food and meds this past month)
I know i will die here, but at least help me to survive in a less dehumanising way.
Edit: tumblr has blocked me from recive or send messages from the chat and comment of posts, so if you are trying to reach throughout there I can't see it, sorry, I'm cut from any communication (cant even see past messages from chat or asks), except send asks. I'm waiting that tumblr do something, but still hasn't even answered the help file I sent to them.
641 notes · View notes
heartlogan · 3 months ago
Text
living to learn
Tumblr media
✮— logan x f!mutant!reader (set in deadpool & wolverine)
✮— summary: logan mulls over all that he has lost, and all that he has found, in the void
✮— a/n: i was enabled by yall - please heed the warnings! you dont need to read pt 1 to read this!
✮— warnings: MAJOR DEADPOOL & WOLVERINE SPOILERS, major character deaths, angst, incredibly sad backstory, dead kids / teenagers, practically a genocide of mutants, suicidal ideation (from logan, kind of), reader acts as a mother figure for someone, incorrect dialogue from dp&w, a smidge of comfort, again ANGST, lmk if there’s more!
part one | masterlist
✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶
It’s almost impossible not to linger on the things that you have lost.
And for Logan, it is impossible.
He spends every waking moment craving for the touch of somebody he lost, and he’s painfully aware that it’s all his fault. He caused the loss. And he’s the only one left to mourn you, because god knows the humans won’t.
Even for him, some two hundred years old, it’s all too painful. And he has experienced plenty of pain in his life. But this? Losing you? Losing everyone? It’s too much. So, he does what he can, he pours so much alcohol into his body that he can’t think, can’t imagine what your final moments must have been like.
But between bars, when his healing factor wears the alcohol down, it’s all he sees.
He imagines you there, surrounded by all of your loved ones except for him, unable to save them. And he can remember finding you so vividly, can remember the ashy tone your skin had taken on, all the life drained from you. He can remember exactly where he found you, in front of the doors, your dying action being to try and save the kids in the mansion. He prays to a god that he doesn’t believe in that you died before they did, because knowing that you hadn’t been able to save them would have killed you.
And the other X-Men, they died the same way. Trying to protect each other, trying to protect those kids. And perhaps the only one who knew that it was all in vain would’ve been Jean. Jean, who he found in front of the children.
Where was he?
At some bar, surrounded by humans he couldn’t care less about, all because he was selfish. All because he didn’t want anybody thinking he wanted to be part of the team. God forbid he actually care about something.
And because of his selfishness, his fear, he lost it all.
He lost you.
So when Wade said he could fix Logan’s universe, he would’ve done anything to make that happen. Anything that Wade asked for, he would’ve done. And as soon as his universe was fixed, Logan would go to you and get to his knees, he would beg for your forgiveness.
And all of that, that hope that had evaded him all those years, was for nothing. For an educated wish.
Logan couldn’t do anything but resort to his old habits, grabbing the first bottle of actual alcohol he saw, and finally numbing the image of you dead in his arms.
“There’s five of us.” Elektra told Wade, and Logan paid her no mind. Everything was futile now, pointless. He was only helping Wade to help the team, to help you, and that was likely impossible. So whatever these so-called heroes were planning, he wanted no part in it.
Logan had already secured his legacy in his universe, and it wasn’t the one you had always imagined for him. He was the Wolverine, and he was every bit of violence that name suggested. Because even though he hadn’t been able to save the X-Men, he sure as hell got his vengeance. He hadn’t slept, hadn’t eaten, until every single human who was remotely involved in the blood bath at X-Mansion was dead.
You wouldn’t have been proud of his actions, true, but you were dead.
Cassandra had mentioned something about temperance, earlier, and it hadn’t taken him long to recognise that you were the anchor of his. Without you, Logan hadn’t managed any sort of self-restraint. He had slaughtered people. And he could only bring himself to regret those that hadn’t quite deserved it.
By the time the red had faded from his vision, Logan realised he had gone too far. He hadn’t just killed the ones who had murdered his friends, but anyone in connection to them, and anyone who had gotten in his way. The only reason he wasn’t arrested was because they were too afraid of him, and the only reason he hadn’t been killed was because he couldn’t fucking die.
Even the fuckers that had slaughtered the X-Men couldn’t figure out how to kill him, and that was a sick kind of irony.
“Logan, that’s who I was telling you about! X-23!” Wade said excitedly, pointing across the room at a teenage girl, who stared at him like she was seeing a ghost. From the sound of what Wade had said earlier, she probably was.
And the sight of her, for some reason, tugged at his chest. He drowned the feeling with more whiskey.
✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶⊶⊷⊶⊷❍⊶⊷⊶⊷✶
“Hey.” Laura greeted you, fidgeting with the strap of her bag as she watched you enter the back of the base, carrying a bag full of food. She seemed nervous, and you couldn’t figure out why.
“Hey, Laura, everythin’ alright?” You asked fondly, glancing at her as you started unpacking the supplies that you’d found scattered across the void.
She hesitated, glancing back through the doorway she was stood in, before focusing on you. “Yeah. Uh, I need to talk to you.” She said, sounding incredibly serious, which wasn’t unusual for her. Laura had been through so much, including everything that she had told you about her life before the void. Being here hadn’t made her life any better.
You immediately paused your actions, and turned your full attention towards the teenager across from you. You nodded for her to start.
“I was out patrolling earlier, and I found some people.” Laura said slowly, thinking her words over thoroughly before she spoke them aloud. She didn’t want to make this any worse. “I drove them here, and we’ve made a plan to attack Cassandra’s first thing. Except for one of the two, who doesn’t want to help.”
“Okay…” You said cautiously, almost confused. “This all sounds good, doesn’t it? Whoever they are, they can stay here if they want. Fill me in on the plan, and we’ll handle it.”
“It’s… okay. It’s about who they are.” She clarified finally, giving up on trying to approach the situation cautiously. “It’s a variant of him. Of Logan.”
Your chest squeezed painfully immediately, and you hand to hold a hand to your sternum to try and ease it. If it were any other situation, Laura may have made a joke about you having a heart attack, but she knew better. She knew how she had felt when she first saw the man, so she could imagine how you were feeling.
Immediately, your heart was torn between rushing to see him, and refusing to lay your eyes on the man at all. You weren’t sure you could handle seeing him, or, well, a variant of him.
It hurt too much. Every day you were reminded of how you had failed to save him, but you had to keep going, for the others in the void. Because they needed you, just as much as you needed them. Laura needed you.
She knew your pain all too well, having lost her own Logan. So you knew what she was telling you was the truth. There was really, finally, a Wolverine variant in the void.
“You okay?” Laura asked, after you had been silent for more moments than she was comfortable with. She was looking at you with such concern, and you could tell that her own heart was practically bursting in her chest from the sight of him.
“Are you?” You asked in return, eyebrows raised as you finally started to get a grip on yourself, shaking yourself from the pit of loss you had begun to get stuck in. She nodded, and you nodded yourself before pausing to think. “And this… Logan, he doesn’t want to join to Cassandra’s?”
Laura shook her head, looking down momentarily. “No. He’s… he’s as messed up as my Logan was.”
You approached her, drawing her into a silent hug. She squeezed you tightly, and the strength her mutation — Logan’s mutation — had given her wasn’t lost on you.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” You asked her quietly, and felt her nod against your shoulder. “Alright. Where is he?” You questioned, silently steeling yourself to face a copy of the man you had lost. The man you had loved.
She pointed you in the right direction, letting you go with a simple, “Good luck.” The entire walk outside, you were holding your breath, trying to prepare yourself somehow. As if this was something you would ever be able to prepare for.
And the moment you saw him, you knew it was all in vain. Because nothing could’ve prepared you for seeing him again, after all this time.
For a moment, it felt as though time was stood still, suspended.
Until he opened his mouth. “‘M not lookin’ for company.”
It was him. His familiar voice. The voice that you would’ve recognised anywhere, even after so long not having heard it. He sounded just the same as your own Logan, the same gruff tone to his voice, all grumpy expressions and furrowed brows. You could imagine it all as though your Logan was still alive, as though he was actually here. It took more than a moment for you to recall that this wasn’t your Logan.
You shuffled over to the log he sat on, the sun setting over the trees surrounding the two of you. He lifted the bottle of whiskey to his lips, glancing at you as you sat. His entire body went shock still, and he turned to look at you fully.
You smiled, and prayed he said nothing about the way your eyes became watery. “Hi, Logan.”
He said your name, sounding as though he was a mere man sat before a god, reverent. The bottle slipped from his hand as he spoke it aloud, his eyes watering immediately, his lip trembling as he looked at you like he was seeing you for the very first time.
“Are you… her?” He asked hesitantly, hand hovering halfway towards you, and you hated to be the bearer of bad news. But if you had to be conscious that he wasn’t yours, it was only fair for him to know the truth.
Reluctantly, you shook your head. “I’m sorry. I’m not your version of me, and you’re not my version of you.”
His hand fell to his lap, but he didn’t take his eyes off of you for a moment. He seemed reluctant to believe you, and you couldn’t blame him. He looked just like your version of him, grey streaks and all. But it wasn’t him, you knew, because he wasn’t coughing up blood, wasn’t actively dying in your arms.
You cleared your throat, glancing to the fire before him, watching the way the smoke curled into the slowly darkening sky. “My Logan died. I—I couldn’t save you. I’ve been here, in the void, for a year, I think.” You elaborated slightly, not wanting to overwhelm him with information. “I’d like to go home. Mourn my losses.”
He stared at you, saying nothing, fingers still outstretched where his hand lay.
“Laura said you weren’t coming with in the morning. I was hoping you might change your mind. We need your help.” You continued, trying to remain convincing despite the shake in your voice.
But that seemed to do the opposite of what you wanted, and he blinked out of the trance he had been in. He started shaking his head immediately, fingers clenching into a fist. “You got the wrong guy. I’m not… I’m not who you think I am.”
“Maybe not, but, Laura told me you were always the wrong guy, up until you weren’t. And to her, that means something. To me, too.” You said, hoping he wouldn’t pull away further than he already had. As selfish as it was, you didn’t want to lose another Logan. You wanted to see him and his friend succeed, even if you didn’t. Maybe, this time, this Logan, you could save him.
“You don’t get it.” Logan refuted, shaking his head, glancing towards the fire as the sun finally finished descending the horizon. He seemed to get lost in the blaze, and you watched his eyes become unfocused, showing him images that weren’t really there. “I failed them. My team. You.”
You stayed quiet, wondering if he was going to elaborate, or if he was too caught up in his vision.
“D’you know something’?” He asked, blinking until the fire came back into focus. “You used to beg me to wear this suit. So did Storm, Scott, Beast. All of you. And I refused, because god forbid anybody believe I wanted to be there.”
“What happened?” You asked him, wanting to reach for his hand, but knowing it wouldn’t help him get through this.
“I went out. And the humans went mutant hunting. By the time I stumbled home shit-faced from the bar… you—you were all dead. Every single mutant in that house.” He explained, his voice shaking, his lower lip trembling once again. You were almost certain he was seeing those images again, because he squeezed his eyes shut, gritting his teeth.
A surge of sympathy shot through you. You wanted so badly to comfort him, to tell him it wasn’t his fault, but you knew he wouldn’t believe it.
“So now I wear this goddamn suit as a reminder. To remember all of you. To make sure I never forget what I did.”
You released a deep sigh, the story sounding familiar to you, in some ways. He glanced over at you, seeing somebody else for a moment. After another few seconds, you reached into your shirt and pulled out the dog tags you had been carrying with you. You turned them over in your hand, running your thumb over the inscription.
He glanced wearily at them, and you reached out, grasping his fist in your own hand and pulling it loose until you could fit the dog tags in his hand, which you then squeezed shut. “I carry these with me, for the same reason. To remind myself that I failed you. That I can’t take that back. That I have to do better, even if all I want to do is give up. You aren’t the only one who did something wrong, here. If I could fix my mistakes, I would, but I can’t. So I carry on. For Laura. For anyone who needs it. And it seems like this… Wade needs it. From you.”
His hand was splayed open, turning over the dog tags in his palm as he listened intently to you.
“Be the hero you weren’t the first time around.” You told him finally, reaching out and placing your palm in his, squeezing around the dog tags, before letting go.
You went to stand, and he stood after you, reaching out.
“I—I know you aren’t her. I know that. But can I pretend, for a minute, that you are?” He asked you, and the vulnerability of the request wasn’t lost on you. Your Logan rarely ever asked for anything, even if he desperately needed it, so you could only imagine the courage that this Logan had mustered to ask you that.
You nodded, silent.
There was a pause, and he looked into your eyes, searching for something that you didn’t know you possessed. But he seemed to find it.
“‘M sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” Logan told you at last, the apology seeming to burst from the depths of his chest. “I love you. I have loved you the whole time. I should have told you as soon as I felt it.” He confessed, and you saw the dog tags hanging from his fingers as he reached for you. And you couldn’t help yourself — you reached right back.
Your hands landed on either side of his face, so full of care, and you watched the tear run down his cheek. His own hands gripped you tightly, scared to let you go.
“I’m sorry.” He repeated, voice broken.
“It wasn’t your fault.” You told him firmly, before rushing forward, pulling him into a hug so tight you could’ve heard his metal bones creak. He buried his face in your hair, breathing you in, and held you tight. “I don’t blame you. I love you.” You said, breathing the words into his ear as though that would make him believe it. He gripped you tighter, squeezing you against him. “I love you.”
You cradled the back of his head with one hand, pressing him close, because you were just as scared to let him go. Distantly, you heard Laura call your name.
After a moment, you pulled back slightly, only to press your forehead against his for a minute. You could pretend that he was your Logan, selfishly, just for a moment more.
Laura got closer, calling out your name once more, and you pulled back to look in his eyes. “I love you.” He told you one last time, before he allowed you to pull yourself from his grasp.
You had no idea whether he would be joining your group tomorrow, but you walked away from him with an empty chest, wiping away the tears that had dared to fall during the encounter. You would leave the last of the motivational speech to Laura, who you smiled gently at as you passed her in the woods, nodding towards where Logan still stood.
Logan had gotten what he needed from you. And you, from him.
716 notes · View notes
honeytonedhottie · 3 months ago
Text
take care of YOU first⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🍭
Tumblr media
taking care of urself ISNT selfish. its NECESSARY and in this post i'll talk about how to put urself first more without feeling guilty, cuz u shouldn't feel guilty for doing whats best for u…💬🎀
Tumblr media Tumblr media
MAKE YOUR PRIORITIES CLEAR ;
make ur priorities clear not only to urself but also to the people around you. if ur priorities aren't clear to you then how are you going to make smart decisions? you need to know what matters to you. some of my priorities are (in this order)
♡ myself
♡ my future
♡ my education + family
everyone's priorities will look different and dont compare your priorities to other people's priorities, and dont feel bad if ur priorities are different from the people around you. honestly i think the only thing that should be constant (in my opinion) is that yourself should be at the top of ur priorities.
BALANCE COMMUNICATION ;
u shouldn't be bending over backwards to answer every phone call, email, or text message. if ur doing something, its okay to be like "hey im busy, i'll get back to you" and you shouldn't feel bad for doing so. thats just you respecting ur own time and doing what u have to do.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
i dont rly have this problem cuz im not the best communicator but i do make an effort to get back to people when i can. and its not even like u purposely being unavailable for the people u care about, its just u doing what u need to do first and then getting back to people when u can.
CUT THINGS OUT ;
if u have someone in ur life who is simply taking up space and isnt pouring into u in the way that u are doing for them, then u can cut them off. for example guys who wanna be in the talking stage for a billion years, or people who just like to yap and waste ur time.
if ur not getting something out of a relationship or connection to someone else then u dont HAVE to keep them around. and ik that sounds harsh but people shouldn't be able to walk in and out of ur lives when they please, people shouldn't be able to take ur time and energy and not give anything back. u deserve friendships that are RECIPROCAL. connections with people that SERVE U.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
INVEST IN URSELF ;
whatever makes ur life easier, better, healthier, whatever brings u closer to ur goals or makes u feel beautiful is an investment. that includes doing ur nails, doing ur hair or makeup. buying that dress, paying for that course, or paying a little extra for a wellness shot. INVEST in urself cuz you are ur biggest investment.
DONT LET PPL INFILTRATE UR SCHEDULE ;
dont get so caught up in showing up for other people that u forget to show up for yourself. make sure that ur managing ur time wisely and doing what u need to do before u go and say "yes" to invitations or hang outs with friends.
449 notes · View notes
cheatsykoopa98 · 6 months ago
Text
1 AM ramble but someone just pointed out to me you can see zooble's room in their pin wrapping background
Tumblr media
not only do we get to see what their room looks like, we also get an official look of the zooble box, and a mirror for them to look at themself. now I think this might be important. pomni had a scene in ep 1 where she looks at the mirror in disbelief that she looks like that now, and we know zooble changes their parts every day. I think caine did that to "help" zooble with figuring out their gender identity, which maybe or not be helping, considering what I hear of people experiencing gender dysphoria not liking to see themselves in the mirror.
and I do think the mirror is important, we get to see a little bit of the others' bedrooms as well, kaufmo, ragatha and gangle's, and none of them have mirrors from what I can see. maybe caine noticed pomni looking in the mirror and thought pomni might want one in her room just like zooble, not realizing pomni probably hates to look in the mirror and not see herself
also lets look at the other characters bedrooms
Tumblr media
ragatha seems to be very tidy (assuming everyone has to clean up their rooms and considering how messy pomni's room is) and not have that much stuff. a box of toys that she might or not play with considering its positioned as a seat for the piano. we dont know if she knows how to play (according to goose she knows the cello, so she could know the piano as well) and having so little fingers in her hand might actually not let her play the piano properly. caine could have just heard she likes music and put a piano in her room. also notice the piano is in the middle of the room taking center stage and we cant see a bed (yet). ragatha has mentioned nobody needs to sleep even though they can. do you think she (tries to) play the piano at night while everyone else assumedly sleeps? there is a song sheet at the piano but I cant read if it has an actual song name written on it.
also she has a shelf full of things that might be of her interest or template things caine put there. like balls of yarn, books, a gloink (how did she have a gloink before ep 1?) and a framed picture, which if it has an actual photo of someone there could open up a lot of theories to who is there. also the gloink being there points to either ragatha having already lived through a gloink adventure and keeping one in her room or keeping one after an adventure where she was hurt by kaufmo and abandoned by pomni. why would she want to keep it if thats the case?
Tumblr media
gangle's room is very dark with black walls. we cant see much but I believe she is in a really deeper depression than pomni. I believe to the point where she doesnt have the energy to try to escape, just mask as much as she can before her happy mask is broken again, poor gangle :/
Tumblr media Tumblr media
we dont get to see kinger or jax's room, even though I think there is a kinger door in the corridor. maybe kinger is too paranoid to sleep in his room. jax's only shows his door with the void breaking into view. maybe we wont get to see his room until the very end. also I remember there was a theory jax knows where the exit is, but doesnt leave. I dont think its true considering goose said jax deserves to be stuck in the circus, implying he cant leave just like everyone, but since he "has keys to everywhere", what if he has been to the void without caine knowing? pomni never made it through the end but if jax did, maybe what he saw there pushed him to be how he is now. maybe he doesnt see hope in escaping and thats why he turns into such a bad person, he could be a nihilist in that way
anyway sorry for the long post, I just had a bunch of ideas popping up in my head from this little detail I should have noticed when pomni's pin was released
Tumblr media
not only do we get to see her room but we also see the blocks spelling CBA, not sure if the B is supposed to count or not but its the second time pomni is associated with C&A, I do believe she was an employee there
325 notes · View notes
weirdmageddon · 1 year ago
Text
i posted this on twitter also but it’s still eating at me. i’m so fucking embarrassed to be jewish rn. i dont want to be associated with this ongoing bullshit from israel. why do we need our own state. theyre just making every jew across the globe look bad in general even though many of us are conflicted about zionism and the legitimacy of israel as a state
people have hated jews throughout history for no fuckin reason but now israel exists but now its like. GIVING people reasons to hate us as a group. note that i DON’T conflate zionism with jewishness, but a lot of people in the world don’t know the difference because theyre uninformed and been dripfed cultural antisemitic tropes their whole life and that’s the scary part is them falsely putting two and two together. like what the fuck israel stop youre just putting fuel on the fire for people around the world to hate an entire group of historically persecuted people if youre being this shitty with your insane colonialism and apartheid like……I Want No Fuckin Part Of This. you’re spelling our own doom. you cant just swoop in and go “mine now” and then oppress the people you took land from under a regime without my blood boiling at the injustice no matter WHO you are. even if my lineage is tied to you. so when news outlets support israel it doesn’t feel like they have the best interest of jews as a people in mind. it’s in the interest of a zionist ethnostate and whatever that christian zionism belief is about the jewish people returning to the holy land as prerequisite for the second coming of jesus. its not like they care about us as a dispersed ethnocultural group, it’s all for that religious narrative that a bunch of people in the US are backing.
saying you want all jews to die is antisemitic. beating someone up because they’re jewish and no other reason without knowing their views is antisemitic. criticizing human rights violations perpetrated by israel and the belief that one group deserves more rights another is not antisemitic. and the fact that israel has the ability to pull that antisemitism card in response to criticisms of the violations they commit because their state is the “jewish homeland” drives me fucking insane. take fucking accountability for your actions. and yes, there do exist full-on anti-jewish groups in the middle east that go beyond hatred of israel’s policies and existence as a state and i’m tired of people pretending there aren’t in fear of appearing to seem like they support the state of israel. on the other side of things many people overestimate this by fearmongering and saying EVERY arab is out to get jews worldwide, telling people like me “they want YOU dead”. this is not the belief every person in the middle east and it really rubs me the wrong way that people group millions of individuals into all-encompassing lumps like this. many people there do understand nuance of this political situation.
even if i have that “right of return” by israeli law or whatever, i don’t feel obliged to it; it does not register as fair. why do i have a “right of return” when i’ve never even been there in the first place while palestinians who have homes there can’t return to them? what’s the basis for that? substituting objective reality with an imaginary reality? i don’t think like that. i can hypothetically come and go whenever i please but palestinians are severely limited in mobility? what makes me more entitled to that land than the people who lived there for centuries? nothing that comes from natural law thats for sure. it’s all artificial and inflated.
but at the same time i also dont want to be the target of antisemitism and caught in the fray just for being ethnically jewish. once people start calling for the genocide of entire groups we’ve got issues (and you better believe this absolutely applies to the palestinian victims in gaza too), because people who dissent to the violence perpetrated by the loudest are caught in there with the people who are perpetrating the violence. lack of nuance. people conflating israel and its zionist apartheid policies with jewish ethnicity and culture worldwide. other people conflating being terrorist anti-jew with muslims worldwide (like that 6-year old palestinian-american boy that was just stabbed to death in chicago). scary times man. but as a jew i can’t just opt out of this if it’s how i was born as. i don’t have control over that. but i can control what i think and what my beliefs are
565 notes · View notes