#even if they are hurting themselves. you can try to help but if someone doesnt want help then leave them tf alone
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phantajam · 5 months ago
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my hot take about descendants is that NONE of the core four were ready for a relationship until maybe like, the third movie (rant in tags)
#they were still adjusting to living life without struggling to survive#a girl should not be jumping into a relationship the same week she just tried her first piece of non-rotten food lol#thats not to say I don't like the canon ships#but mal married literally the FIRST man she met in auradon. at 18.#and even as far as in descendants 2 we see them still struggling to adjust in different ways (mainly mal)#in d3 they seem to have fully assimilated into life in Auradon (as much as a VK can anyway)#so it makes sense for them to THEN seek out relationships if that's what they want.#but disney ofc wanted to act like romantic love just automatically fixes a person's problems ig?? as if a relationship wouldn't just be#added stress given the position the VKs were in in d1#not to mention dating just like. wasnt a thing on the isle (mal even says this)#and I get that the kids are craving to be loved because their parents didn't gaf about them. But I wish the first movie focused more on the#finding that love in each other than romantically with outside people. a sort of “they had love in them all along” moment.#and then this fandom loves to argue about whether Jarlos/Janelos was 'rushed'. at least Carlos (and Jay +lonnie) waited a few months before#throwing themselves into the dating scene. Poor evie had her heart broken within like 3 days of being in Auradon. no wonder she was willing#to help steal the wand lol.#Anyway to wrap up this rant I didn't even mean to go on#I just think that kids who have spent the first 14-16 years of their lives fighting to survive and being put through continuous trauma on a#daily basis don't need dating right away. they need THERAPY.#if anyone here has seen stranger things its kinda an El and Mike situation were its like. the girl grew up in a lab and fell for the first#boy in regular society who was kinda nice to her lol. thats how I view Mal and Ben#same with doug and evie. he was nicer than chad but he still fell for her for her looks and she still fell for him because he was the first#guy in auradon to be genuinely interested in her. also evie had a whole “I dont need a prince” arc and ended up with a man anyway?#my problem with janelos was always that Carlos never quite worked out his mommy issues or his anxiety. I feel like he'd be afraid of hurtin#her even though that boy wouldn't hurt a fly. and we see Jane get pretty stressed out herself- have you ever been in a relationship where#both of you have anxiety? cause it either goes really well (you help keep each other calm) or REALLY terribly (you make each other spiral)#I actually really liked Lonnie and Jay (though I feel like it would've had a bigger payoff if she was in d3. not sure why she wasn't but I#wont dunk on that because it couldve been smth to do with her actress). I think Lonnie is someone who can 'handle' Jay well and match his#energy. And I like the idea of Jay finding someone he's loyal to after being commitment-phobic for 1 1/2 movies and the whole first book lo#and ofc I have to throw this in here: any auradon kid the VKs get with is never going to grasp even half of what they went through.#this doesnt mean they can't try to understand and be empathetic. but it will always cast a shadow on VK/AK relationships.
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local-limebug · 1 year ago
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what the fuck is up with the rise in trans hate how are people this sensitive about what someone else wants to do with their own body
#limebug.txt#literally its my life and i can live it however i want#and if the people around me try to stop me i WILL cut them off idc who they are i'm sorry#just fucking. let people live. god#if i let my hate win the way bigots let theirs win i'd be fucking lynched by religious mobs#insult my identity and i have to deal with it cause its your freedom of speech but i insult yours and i'm gonna go to a fake bad place??#god i hate religious people sometimes#so many transphobes either call it a mental illness or hate it because god said so and both of those are such STUPID takes#religion. well thats self explanatory#but mental illness??#that tells me everything i need to know about what they think of actual mentally ill people too#you wanna stop ppl from transitioning because its mental illness?? gonna take away bodily autonomy from other mentally ill ppl too now??#and ik they do with institutionalization and shit but that's such bs too#people deserve help but they only need to be locked up if they are hurting someone else#that's my controversial opinion for the day: people who only harm themselves dont deserve to have their autonomy taken away#even if they are hurting themselves. you can try to help but if someone doesnt want help then leave them tf alone#and what really differentiaties piercings and tattoos from 'self mutilation' anyway#'god made you one way you cant change' fucking cry about it. humans have made the technology and i am going to utilize it#i will desecrate the face of god without hesitation.#i will mutilate myself gladly. i should have the legally protected right to mutilate myself because it falls under bodily autonomy.#transphobes are not the brightest
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snekdood · 1 month ago
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i honestly just think gen z and gen alpha have an issue with communication in general and thats causing a lot of fucking issues.
#do you even know how to resolve conflicts without shutting down and evading them? or turning them into something worse?#do you know how to compromise or do you stubbornly insist everything must go your way?#do you know how to confront someone about something w/o coming off as judgemental/confrontational or defensive?#do you know how to *actually* listen to people enough to be able to repeat back to them what they said?#when you confront people- do you come at them with a lot of 'you did this-' and not enough of 'i feel like's?#anyways THIS is why therapy is important ✌️#wouldnt know all this shit if i never went and acted like it could never benefit me ever.#having a conflict with someone? heres how to communicate:#you: I feel this way about this thing that you did#person: im sorry that I made you feel that way. i did that because of x reason.#you: i hear you. you did it because of x reason. i promise to try not to hurt you that way again.#but can you see it from my perspective and how it was hurtful to do?#person: yes i can and I wont do it again.#you: thank you#-obviously an ideal way this would go. with a more defensive person its also possible though#you: i feel this way about the thing you did#defensive person: i didnt mean to do y/i did it because you did x#you: you did it because of x. it still hurt even if you didnt mean to/i know why you did it but that doesnt make it okay#person: it doesnt make it okay for you to hurt me either!#you: i never said it did. and im sorry I hurt you. can you understand how what you did hurt me and try not to do it again.#person: fine. whatever. ill try not to#or something like that. not an interaction you should have to have to that level but. maybe you have someone you cant avoid idk#they SHOULD apologize to you but in a way that resignation is at least an acknowledgment. maybe theyre not someone able to face#themselves yet. idk 🤷. they might come back to you later after reflecting and apologize.#also caveat- obviously this is basically impossible to do with abusive manipulative ppl and i dont suggest trying it#i mean maybe its possible but usually they just lie about not doing it again so yeah#HERE. HERE'S ME GIVING TUMBLR MORE ADVICE IT DOESNT DESERVE FROM ME SPECIFICALLY AFTER EVERYTHING#MANY ON THIS SITE HAVE DONE TO ME BUT THAT IM PROVIDING NONETHELESS BC SOMEONE NEEDS TO TRY TO HELP#YALL SOCIALLY N SHIT SOMEHOW.#IDK IF ITS GONNA BE ME FOR VERY MUCH LONGER. BUT. I DO FUCKIN TRY OVER HERE.
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kn11ves · 1 year ago
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i entirely agree that humans should depend on each other more and that we should try to approach people with open minds and not believe that they are out to get us, on that note, shaming and chastising people for not feeling comfortable to depend on other people and telling them that they need to fix it or they're actually MORE of a bother and a burden is probably not the best way to go about it
#10000 millionth post where some tumblr users' opinion breaches containment and i must comment on it vaguely#listen it is sort of upsetting how it really is true that the majority of those call-out-y posts on peoples' behaviours can be really#damaging for people with ocd. like you re just going to send us on a spiral because now we arent even sure if the thing we were trying to d#as to not cause other people pain is actually causing more pain and oh dear god we're really terrible people ohh fack ive known all along#i think the first step to making people feel more comfortable to take your help and hospitality is probably approaching them kindly?#at least instead of saying we must ''learn to accept it''#plus the mention of individualism and comunialism-- i agree individualism has hurt a lot of people and it is very bad#although to some degree i dont think it is entirely wrong you cannot fully depend on everyone 100% of the time for your own safety#we are as a society not there yet where that is possible. etc etc also learned helplessness#but anyways if youre going to talk about individualism then you have to actually acknowledge that a lot of collectivist societies have cult#cultures in which REFUSING THE HOSPITALITY IS PART OF THE CULTURE!!!! where youre meant to say no many times as a show of respect and as th#host continues to offer it. as well many many many MANY people born from immigrant parents or who are immigrants themselves have a shared#experience of being raised to be as completely clean and polite and small as possible when in someone elses' home#it just really rubbed me the wrong way the entire post...#i just dont think you should get so upset someone doesnt accept your hospitality consider everything is not erm about you and maybe they#arent comfortable enough with you or are having a bad day ?#''i can always tell when they are only saying it because they dont want to be a bother'' no u litearlly cannot#anyways it was a very american post that i did not like.#do help each other and take the help when you need it though we need that.
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nakakabaliw · 1 month ago
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(⚠️Talk of SA/Abuse Victims/Anya Mouthwashing)
⚠️If you need any "credibility" i am also a victim of abuse.
My Thoughts on #GIRLBOSS Anya
TW: S/A , Abuse
Some people need to realize that not all victims of abuse are empowered #girlbosses and are in fact scared to face their abuser bc of power dynamics and such .
Sometimes people just arent able to stand up to them, and thats okay. Its easy for some to say "oh they should fight back" but its really not :( often times their abusers are people in power, or close to them that they wouldnt want to antagonize in fear of disappointing them or for them to do the worst.
Sometimes victims may not even realize they were being abused/manipulated, and sometimes they downplay their own suffering bc its easier than fighting back.
That isnt to say that "victims should just comply to their abuser", its definitely not, and if you are suffering from abuse please seek as mucb help as you can. Im referring to people who always assume that if victims just "tried hard enough" they could defeat their abuser.
This is why often times I feel a little off put by depictions of Anya being this girlboss character who couldve defeated Jimo Because it sorta downplays her fear of him. Yes, we wouldve loved to see her succeed and win, but she was honestly scared. She was doing her best to please him by cheering him on and folding in when he berates her.
Personally I also want her to take that gun/axe and hit him where it hurts, but as a victim of a similar (not SA) type of abuse where people who controlled/manipulated were far above me, I symphatize with her.
Her death and her folding up, her taking drastic and risky measures such as hiding the gun case when she told Jimo about her pregnancy. Her struggling to open up about it bc shes been dismissed already by Curly, who couldnt believe that someone hes close to would do such an act and is trying way too much to balance both sides.
This is all just my opinion. Theres really nothing wrong with making a victim stand up for themselves, in fact yes, it should be celebrated. But also dont dismiss when a victim doesnt do that due to fear/trauma.
TL;DR: sometimes victims can dismiss their own abuse for the sake of safety.
Pls keep in note that im speaking from complete experience and am no way a psych major or anything. This is just my voice and opinion and if you beg to differ, im open to discussion ^^ please be respectful!
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cheatsykoopa98 · 7 months ago
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1 AM ramble but someone just pointed out to me you can see zooble's room in their pin wrapping background
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not only do we get to see what their room looks like, we also get an official look of the zooble box, and a mirror for them to look at themself. now I think this might be important. pomni had a scene in ep 1 where she looks at the mirror in disbelief that she looks like that now, and we know zooble changes their parts every day. I think caine did that to "help" zooble with figuring out their gender identity, which maybe or not be helping, considering what I hear of people experiencing gender dysphoria not liking to see themselves in the mirror.
and I do think the mirror is important, we get to see a little bit of the others' bedrooms as well, kaufmo, ragatha and gangle's, and none of them have mirrors from what I can see. maybe caine noticed pomni looking in the mirror and thought pomni might want one in her room just like zooble, not realizing pomni probably hates to look in the mirror and not see herself
also lets look at the other characters bedrooms
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ragatha seems to be very tidy (assuming everyone has to clean up their rooms and considering how messy pomni's room is) and not have that much stuff. a box of toys that she might or not play with considering its positioned as a seat for the piano. we dont know if she knows how to play (according to goose she knows the cello, so she could know the piano as well) and having so little fingers in her hand might actually not let her play the piano properly. caine could have just heard she likes music and put a piano in her room. also notice the piano is in the middle of the room taking center stage and we cant see a bed (yet). ragatha has mentioned nobody needs to sleep even though they can. do you think she (tries to) play the piano at night while everyone else assumedly sleeps? there is a song sheet at the piano but I cant read if it has an actual song name written on it.
also she has a shelf full of things that might be of her interest or template things caine put there. like balls of yarn, books, a gloink (how did she have a gloink before ep 1?) and a framed picture, which if it has an actual photo of someone there could open up a lot of theories to who is there. also the gloink being there points to either ragatha having already lived through a gloink adventure and keeping one in her room or keeping one after an adventure where she was hurt by kaufmo and abandoned by pomni. why would she want to keep it if thats the case?
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gangle's room is very dark with black walls. we cant see much but I believe she is in a really deeper depression than pomni. I believe to the point where she doesnt have the energy to try to escape, just mask as much as she can before her happy mask is broken again, poor gangle :/
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we dont get to see kinger or jax's room, even though I think there is a kinger door in the corridor. maybe kinger is too paranoid to sleep in his room. jax's only shows his door with the void breaking into view. maybe we wont get to see his room until the very end. also I remember there was a theory jax knows where the exit is, but doesnt leave. I dont think its true considering goose said jax deserves to be stuck in the circus, implying he cant leave just like everyone, but since he "has keys to everywhere", what if he has been to the void without caine knowing? pomni never made it through the end but if jax did, maybe what he saw there pushed him to be how he is now. maybe he doesnt see hope in escaping and thats why he turns into such a bad person, he could be a nihilist in that way
anyway sorry for the long post, I just had a bunch of ideas popping up in my head from this little detail I should have noticed when pomni's pin was released
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not only do we get to see her room but we also see the blocks spelling CBA, not sure if the B is supposed to count or not but its the second time pomni is associated with C&A, I do believe she was an employee there
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whumpwillow · 1 year ago
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give me a vain whumpee. make him arrogant. make him conceited. So sure of himself, so proud of his own abilities that he looks down on everybody as lesser. He’s got a pretty face and plenty of wealth, perhaps a nobleman’s title, and he lives in complete luxury and splendor.
Now take away what makes him so proud of his abilities, or make it hard for him to do what he once did with ease, so now he struggles with even the slightest task. Take away his wealth and his reputation and his carefree life. Make him suffer endlessly, tormented without reprieve. Make him work for himself. Throw him in the dirt. Scar his face and body until he’s nearly unrecognizable, steal away his beautiful good looks until he thinks of himself as nothing but a monster.
He’s scarred and dirty and bedraggled. His hair is matted with knots and snarls and he just can’t bring himself to care. He lets all thoughts of his past go because they don’t serve him anymore when all he can do is merely try to survive, scrabbling fruitlessly at a bleak future against the torment that still plagues him.
He was once great. He was once respected. Now he wears the same stained clothes every day because he doesn’t have much else and doesn’t care what happens to him other than hoping what hurts him will hurt just a little less.
And then someone comes into his life. A someone who knows him, or at least who he used to be. Perhaps someone who knew him personally, perhaps not, and only heard rumors of the snooty nobleman with the vile temperament. This someone expects the whumpee to look down on them for being lesser, somehow, for being a commoner, or for being less skilled at whatever the whumpee used to pride themselves in accomplishing.
But he isnt. He doesnt have right to it anymore, not when he’s been reduced to this state. he’s little more than looking like a beggar or a drunkard or a madman with his messy hair and dirty clothes and scarred face and body. He hasn’t thought about his past vanity in years. He’s long since given up caring. He’s just wondering when the person will run from him, too offended by his hideous looks to stand being around him.
And then the someone, a caretaker, doesn’t run. Doesn’t cringe away at the sight of him, or at the sight of his face and body so riddled with scars and wounds that were never given the proper chance to heal.
The caretaker accepts this, and just makes sure to draw a bath for the whumpee. Caretaker helps whumpee with his hair, washing it in warm water and gently working out the knots. Whumpee doesnt know when the last time anybody had done this for them. Whumpee doesn’t remember how long its been since somebody touched them without violence.
Caretaker helps whumpee wash his face and get rid of all the dirt. They brush whumpee’s hair and whumpee is thrown back to images of their past self, when they would spend so long perfecting their appearance. Already, they feel more like themselves and yet less so, like a stranger, at the same time.
Whumpee breaks down. He hasn’t taken care of himself in so long because at first he was solely focused on survival, and later because he felt that he didn’t deserve to, that he didn’t deserve anything nice or anything from his old life, even something as simple as being clean.
Caretaker takes whumpee’s face in their hands, cupping his cheeks and looking into his eyes.
“You don’t have to suffer anymore.”
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austinsastrology8991 · 2 years ago
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Venus in the houses (p1) -> and how you convince others your a beautiful person until your not Venus is beautiful, and entrancing but she is also greedy and vain; believes she deserves what she wants. venus gets hurt if she doesnt get it, then finds someone else who will help her get it.... Venus in the First - Charming people, love to get attention and adoration from others and know how to get it through their beauty and flattery, but they expect twice the flattery from you because usually they are more charming than you, plus they know they a prize. but they are quick to be resentful when others take them for granted. beautiful people who break easily at slights > makes others fall even harder for their fragility Venus in the Second - strong values, good at self affirming themselves, and their pride/self respect swoons others. but if you question their 'code' they will literally ignore you, because they are very prideful with what they value. its what got them so far, and its usually what stole your heart in the first place. plus they valued you, and you questioned them, now they are questioning their values.... get it? you fucked everything up by making them question themselves Venus in the Third - confident players, that know how to make you sit down and listen to their every word. good with their words, until you point out a flaw, then its game over for you. so if you dont play their games they will find someone else to play with. but they know how to emulate their voice well too, can talk to you like your mother or like your duaghter... whataver your into they just want to play with your brain Venus in the Fourth - know exaclty how to make you comfortable, very sweet and mothering, but if you ask for too much, you will receive zero comfort, or maybe just one less thing. but they love to mother you, but if you dont respect your momma (them) they will either try harder to make you a mommas boy once again (they'll blame it on your mum first) or will withdraw completely and adopt a better son Venus in the fifth - love to entertain and be the centre of attention for the sake of applause. if you fall for them just know they like more than one set of eyes on them, but they only have eyes for one... so if you csn handle jealousy that will go a long way for them, because they will not stop shining for you or for anyone. its what they like okay.. you know what you signed up for so put up or shut up. plus thats what got you interested in the first place, their flair for the dramatix Venus in the sixth - love to be of service, help you with your life, be a mentor, and watch you grow as their little pet. but if you cross the line and take a shit on the carpet, they will not clean up your shit, becsuse now the role play is over and you crossed the line. and you thought they would help you because they helped you with everything else. TF IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU TOOK A SHIT ON DA CARPET?! DISOWNED Venus in the seventh - will do anything to please you. whatever it is you want they will become it and be the perfect partner for you. they dont have many requirements because they want you to stay so badly, but if you dont give them the basic necessities that they require. they will give you the coldest shoulder till you apologize. then love bomb you all over again. then expect you to have changed, when realistically you haven't, you had only apologized. then the cycle repeats itself for eternity.
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the-s1lly-corner · 6 months ago
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Various crps x reader who struggles w/ self care
I miss old creepypasta fandom sometimes (unrelated to the post)
Characters: slenderman, eyeless jack, nina the killer, masky
Notes: reader is GN, can be read as romantic or platonic, very self indulgent for the admin but hes keeping it mostly open/vague so those can also enjoy this, admin uses any pronouns for nina
CWs: none
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SLENDERMAN
still in love with the idea that hes not fully aware of your needs as a human but hes knows the bare basic minimum- something about him not being a human himself and not regularly interacting with them to know what to look out for blah blah blah/lh
notices youre a little more down than usual and he does his best to find out whats wrong- are you sick? tired? hurt? is his human okay? its kind of like seeing someone fret over their pet, except its this old cryptid and his human friend
mostly stands off to the side and quietly passes you some water and snacks, keeps your glass full so you dont have to keep getting up- or a bottle of water if you would prefer!
though its not unlikely for him to get more assertive with his care, he might just pull you away from bed and try to get you cleaned up. if you let him hes going to be doing everything for you
will interfere with outside things so you can have a day to yourself to rest and recover (ex. fizzing out work calls, messing with any electronics if anyone is bothering you, ect ect, god forbid someones actually making you feel horrible on purpose)
EYELESS JACK
very good at reminding you to drink water and take your meds (if you have them), i like to think that sometimes he lives vicariously through you because you can still eat human foods and that bleeds into generally what you need to put in your body-
what i mean to say is that he is great at keeping track of things for you if you struggle with it! time, energy, or just not having the motivation, hes making sure you get what you need even if you cant do it yourself
does his best to get you some extra boost of vitamins and stuff in an attempt to boost your energy/mood, obviously he knows its not going to be a magic fix but its better than nothing.. hes the one cooking though! for reasons that align with the first bullet point!
very straight forward and blunt when asking if theres anything wrong, he can come off as disinterested or annoyed based off of his tone but genuinely hes trying his best to help you open up... jack himself isnt used to opening up so he doesnt have much experience being gentle and soft
brushes through your hair before you both go to bed
NINA THE KILLER
nina can be a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to this sort of thing as they tend to not... take very good care of themselves.. though its mostly out of not remembering to keep to a routine
does her best to get you to go out and do something with her that will eventually lead to you taking care of yourself in some way- asking you out for lunch or doing an activity that gets you extremely messy so you have to go take a shower
if your lack of proper self care is caused by any personal struggles you may be facing, nina makes it more than clear that you can go to them to talk
easily the most non judgmental person ever, you can tell her nearly everything and shes not going to think of you any differently
opens up about her own struggles to make you feel less alone
THE monarch of reminding you to take your meds, if you have them
MASKY
watches you from the side like a cat, kind of just keeps an eye on you throughout the day to make sure you're still kicking
will push a plate of snacks and your meds to you- like a cursed little charcuterie board!
he would make you a meal but ignoring the fact hes not a good cook at all, he feels it would be easier on you to just have snacks.. better something than nothing
will keep you in bed if youre tired or sore, will keep you pinned to him if he needs to- you might just take it as him wanting to cuddle...
and he never cuddles so to you this is a once in a blue moon experience!
or do you need to get up and stretch? hes going to do something to get you up, be it pestering you until you come to get him to pipe down or trying to get your assistance for something
might even lift his mask up next to you to get you to brush his teeth with him
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mer-acle · 15 days ago
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yayay (ok damn looking back im sorry this is quite the ramble/info dump)
ok so basically
after god games, apollo (the good brother he is) immediately tries to help athena, but zeus stops him. he says that if anyone attempts to help athena in any way they will end up worse than her AND that he will make sure to re-injure her to undo any healing she recieved (apollo did manage to heal her a little so and zeus Doesnt care that he hadnt told anyone that rule yet so he does in fact end up striking her again)
also, he makes it very clear that if anyone outside of the arena finds out what happened to her he will kill them
obviously athena is. very paranoid. and zeus is not one to find loophole exploitation amusing so everyone is very on edge and it's not exactly unreasonable to assume that helping her process anything or feel better emotionally (aka literally j talking to her at all WITHOUT insulting her) counts as against zeus' rules so she wont talk to anyone and they dont want to talk to her (bc of the rules, they dont want her to get reinjured and they dont want themselves to get injured, they do actually care altho they cant express that) (also idk if im going to add this, maybe zeus literally just meant no healing her, but he can't back down now that everyone's agreed that 'no talking' is part of the punishment without LoOkInG wEaK. i can make EVERYONE suffer if i want to)
and athena (who is definitely so very good at processing her emotions) is so paranoid about someone ELSE she cares about being hurt by zeus (thunder bringer flashbacks lol) """because of her""" that she literally will scream-beg anyone who comes within talking distance of her to leave before they get themselves hurt. and everyone is so shocked by seeing her in such visible distress that they don't even question it.
mEANWHILE back on ithaca ody has returned home and is very happy to see his family. telemachus excitedly goes 'and you will never guess who i met!!! i met athena!!! she helped me in a fight :D' and long story short ody finds out about the events of the wisdom saga tel was there for and puts that together with hermes' line at the end of dangerous and realizes that athena somehow got him off ogygia and that there was violence involved. and since ody is back on ithaca, that means what she left to go do is done right??? so they both start praying to try to figure out what's going on. athena knows ody and knows that he would definitely figure out that Something happened to her and that would lead to him dying so she is dead set on ignoring them. ody is half convinced that she actually hates him while tel knows for a fact that's not true and is more concerned that she's straight-up dead.
THEN penelope, smart woman she is, hypothesizes that maybe whatever athena did to free ody was dangerous and that immortals can't die so she's likely very wounded and will talk to them as soon as possible.
athena is watching them to make sure that something like this doesnt happen, at this point she's not exactly thinking straight and doesn't realize that penelope figuring things out herself =/= athena telling her, but also is so paranoid and mistrustful of zeus that she thinks he would kill her if she figured it out herself just to prove a point. (and also its penelope, so ody would actually hate her forever if she killed penelope, which yeah but she wouldn't be the one to kill penelope in this scenario but she has convinced herself she is responsible for making sure zeus doesn't kill anyone bc she has kinda always had to be the one keeping his anger in check so yay parental trauma)
athena is in a lot of pain esp after flying to ithaca and so worked up at this point so shes basically shouting at penelope to 'stop trying to understand bc everyone will die' and penelope is obviously very frightened bc a goddess showed up and started yelling at her without explaining what the problem even is (it is obvious to athena what the problem is. it is Not obvious to penelope, at least not in the moment). ody overhears this and sees her and at first goes 'why is she yelling at penelope WHAT' (wifeguy rage activated lol) but then quickly realizes that athena is basically crying and fully spiraling in a full-on mental breakdown, realizes something is Very Very Wrong, and tries to talk to her but athena panics that ODY is there now, yells something along the lines of 'STOP JUST STOP PLEASE' and then just leaves immediately.
i have more ideas but this is long enough already + also i have to go eat dinner
if u read this whole thing, ty for listening to me ramble :D
in summary, zeus successfully wages psychological warfare against athena
Gxizdtxuxdkdjfzjfxjfxjttitditzjfzjfxux
WHY
Just WHY
Biting my pillow
Oh poor baby
Crying
We must kill Zeus
The ithacan fam makes me so soft they care so much
I'm interested how (if whhhhjkmhij) this gets resolved cos I don't see any way out and that's so sad 😭😭😭
But yeah great job I'm gonna go sit in the corner to cry now, don't mind me
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thesophistiicate · 2 months ago
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im not trying to act all high and mighty, im just genuinely confused by this... i truly dont understand girls who allow themselves to be put in degrading situations the same as the last anon? surely its glaringly obvious that man just wanted a body to use? i know i sound so mean but im genuinely actually confused whenever i hear or read girls talking about experiences like that i find it very hard to understand what would make them give the most undeserving men access to their bodies and souls like that... i can kind of understand if you sleep with a man for the first time and he treats you badly after but what i dont understand is going back again and again and expecting a different result. at that point maybe youre a little to blame as well? why would you even sleep with someone who youre not even in a relationship with? im just very lost i thought by now we all know better than to give just anyone our time. i see this even in my girl friends, theyre all so beautiful and intelligent yet they date terrible men that shouldnt even be allowed to breathe the same air as them and when they inevitably cheat or hurt them they genuinely get heartbroken and then they start to tell me about things the man has said to them and show me their text conversations and in my head im like "hes telling you right there in that message that he doesnt care about you..? what did you expect..?" sometimes it feels like girls get into situationships and relationships just to get themselves hurt on purpose because, and this is gonna sound so mean but i dont know how else to word this, but theres no way people can genuinely be this blind and stupid. i just find it so hard to feel sympathy for girls who numerously get shown and told theyre only being used for sex and still stick around for a different outcome. is that what love supposed to be? am i the one with the twisted understanding of love? am i missing something? i hope im not coming off as heartless or conceited, im genuinely confused i just dont know how to express or word it well
i'm happy to hold space for expressing thoughts imperfectly or even harshly, so long as we are willing to find understanding and not stay stuck in judgement 🤍 i would say the challenge for you here is learning to stay out of judgement (it is all right to acknowledge that's not how you would act, but attaching value statements and labels like 'stupid' don't help you be kind and don't help anyone else thrive either), and leaning into empathy (finding understanding when someone acts in a way you wouldn't, rather than judgement and frustration).
i say this as someone who used to be really judgemental, not to tell you off, but because it's so good for the soul to learn this growth. judgement and labels are easy, it's far more difficult to build the emotional intelligence to hold space for nuance and complexity, to extend compassion and nurture even when somebody is making imperfect decisions.
i think that you're someone with a really good level of self worth and self respect who cares about others too. that's so amazing! the best thing you can do is continue to hold your standards and lead by example. you aren't the one who has it wrong at all. healthy, respectful relationships aren't like this! keep your standards high, show your friends examples of high standards. as much as it will feel like they aren't listening, sometimes a simple, fairly neutrally toned: "wow, you deserve better" or "geez, i wouldn't put up with that" or "that's not normal" will linger and have more long-term impact than you realise.
i know it's easy to look in from the outside and say, can't you see it?! he just sucks!! or to look at the end of a crazy story and be like, girl, there was SO many red flags wtf!! (lol me at my past self!) but when you're in the middle of it, it's actually really hard. these people are master manipulators and they know how to keep their victims hooked. love bombing, mixed signals, disrespectful treatment to lower self worth... it's a wild ride inside the storm, you simply cannot see clearly because they are committed to obscuring the view.
at the core women get themselves into these situations because of low self worth. it's why i talk about it ALL THE TIME, it's SO CRUCIAL. when you don't value yourself, you put up with being disrespected. the more you are disrespected, the lower your self worth drops and the more bad treatment you accept. it's a toxic cycle. it's the exact same dynamics as in any abusive or domestic violence scenario (even if the relationships aren't abusive and he's just casually disrespectful - that is the beginning of abuse), and it's pretty well researched why women stay, how they get in those situations, why they find it difficult to leave, why the cycle keeps repeating with new partners. i'd highly recommend researching it if you want to understand it better. every woman should be educated on this topic.
you are right to some extent: if you want to get out of the cycle you do have to take responsibility for your own behaviour. you have to ask why you're accepting being treated that way. what led you there. why you are obsessing over their behaviours but not questioning your own.
but to confront all this is very difficult and painful and often related to trauma and neglect. yet another reason why so many can't escape the cycle, to face all of that can be more painful than putting up with a shitty guy who just wants sex without commitment... the crap treatment is easier to face, until it isn't.
it is a form of self-harm, a kind of self-destruction as a way a broken mind and spirit tries to cope with trauma. to end the relationship would be to limp out and finally confront how broken you are. when you stay in it you can stay delulu. it's a form of escape.
of course, to a healthy person it doesn't make sense. why would anyone ever willingly hurt themselves? and yet, it's a psychologically observable phenomenon and unfortunately the solution and path to healing is far more complex than just not doing that or getting into those situations. if only!!
but the way out DOES involve making a decision that you deserve better. which is why we need to keep talking about these things, bringing them to light, being compassionate, creating safe spaces for women in these relationships to talk about what they're experiencing without judgement, shame, being called stupid or asking for it etc 🤍
i could speak for a long time on this, but i'll leave it there for now... it's all right to not understand it. i actually think that's a good thing in a way, it means you're in a good place. but certainly if you really want to understand it, the research is there!
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dangerousartisanwerewolf · 2 months ago
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To All Americans doom scrolling Tumblr right now:
First and foremost I am so sorry for all of you guys. You all did your part but hatred seems to have unfortunately won. I am also incredibly disheartened for all of you and for once in my life I honestly don't know what to say (which is odd for me lol).
Just know
That you did your part. You voted and did your part and that's all you can do.
It's not your fault. Period. Not to sound defeatist but one vote will not decide the fate of an entire election
Life will go on and we will keep on living. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but we will keep going and we will keep living our lives.
Things will get better, it maybe doesnt seem like it right now but things will ger better
I have sadly seen many people on here talk about killing themselves or pleading others to stay alive. As sad as that notion is, it is a very real concern for many now.
As many others have mentioned: PLEASE DON'T KILL YOURSELF OR RELAPSE IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM OVER THE ELECTION RESULTS!!!!!!!!! I know it may feel hopeless and like there is nothing else you can do but please don't. I mentioned many things you can do to distract yourself in a previous post if you want to look.
There are many $u1c1d3 hotlines and other mental health resources available you can access. Please do if you feel like you need to
List of hotlines/ help resources to call/talk to:
Sorry I can't link anything because I am not tech savy but hopefully a list is useful too. Got most of these off of instagram so maybe you'll see the posts circulating around. Keep in mind I am a minor who does not live in the U.S so if these are not the most helpful don't flame me.
LQBTQ Resources:
The 988 lifeline- 988lifeline.org (Call,text, or chat)
The Trevor project- thetrevorproject.org/get-help (24/7 crisis counselling)
SAGE x Hearme-sageusa.org/hearme (On demand mental wellness app)
LGBTQ center directory- lgbtqcenters.org/LGBTCENTERS (Centre directory, find one near you)
PFLAG- pflag.org/findachapter (Find a chapter near you)
QChat space-qchatspace.org (Online Lgbtq community for teens)
Suicide/crisis hotline
Dial 988 or visit 988lifeline.org
Warm lines that don't call the police:
Call blackline- 800-604-5841 (Centre's BIPOC, LGBTQ, Black femme lens)
Trans lifeline-877-585-8660 (U.S number) Canada has one of these too if you need it
Wildflower alliance peer support line- 888-407-4515 (Trained peer supporters
Strong hearts Native helpline- 844-762-8483
Thrive lifeline- 313622-8209 (Trans led and operated)
LGBTQ national help center- 888-843-4564
Hope that helps
Other easy ways to take care of your mental health:
Take a social media break/hiatus
Hang out with friends or family
Get out in nature (Go for a hike, bike ride ect)
distract yourself with comfort media
read
do something creative
practice a hobby
I already have a post with a pretty extensive list of stuff you can do to distract/cope if you need any ideas. I'm not going to copy it all out but its just a little down from this post in my account if you scroll.
Above all please stay safe:
Many have mentioned this but make sure you stay safe too, especially if you are in a red state where people may be looking for an opportunity. As fucked up as it feels to even type this out:
Scrub your socials of anything that may "Give you away" if you feel you need to
If you know someone who is queer, trans, poor, pregnant, an immigrant, needing an abortion, getting an abortion done, or anything that could make living dangerous to them- no you don't. try and keep loved ones safe if you can
Don't out yourself for being any of the above things if you can help it
Don't engage in politics talk with people if you can help it. If someone asks what party you supported don't tell them, they may just be looking for information they can use
One last reminder:
Please remember to:
Eat regular meals/remember to eat at all
Drink water
Take screen breaks (As it will hurt your eyes and give you a headache)
Go to sleep at a regular time
don't bed rot all day
don't doom scroll election content all day
turn off the news at some point, its not healthy to sit and watch the news all day
get out in nature/step outside and touch grass and get some fresh air if you can
talk to your loved ones and seek support if you need
get off social media for a bit (Even if you say all day social media doesnt make a difference to you I know it does)
make sure to take it easy today if you can, take care of your mental health and I hope that everything will be alright for you guys. Stay safe out there
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atla-confessions · 2 months ago
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I wish they would because it'd be funny as fuck but it might kill the mod
Lets put this in terms you might understand. Im going to repeat what you said, and then make a Katara 'critcism' of equal value
zk: aang is kind of inattentive and gets distracted easily
"Katara is kind of mean and gets really prideful and self-righteous"
These are two things Aang does, and two things Katara does, but if we made this Katara's entire fucking personality, that would be anti Katara
zk: aang yelling at toph was kinda shitty
"Katara making the blind comment at Toph was kinda shitty."
"Katara saying Sokka didnt love their mom like she did was kinda shitty."
The statement about Aang is true, as are these statments about Katara. If we were to call Katara a bad friend because of these, or toxic, or bring it up as reason that Katara isnt deserving of Aang, that would be anti Katara
zk: aang getting so jealous at the idea of Katara being with someone else that he would go into the Avatar state is kind of problematic
"Katara getting so jealous of Aang she says shes not going to come watch him ride the unagi to make sure hes okay is kind of problematic"
Neither of these statements are true. Both are ignoring the larger context and making their behavior out to be jealousy when its not. Aang was upset about the play as a whole. His comment about the avatar state was clearly not a literal thing, but him trying to express how upset the play as a whole has made him. Katara was upset Aang was being irresposible and letting the praise get to his head and didnt want to come watch him show off.
Aang doesnt even show any jealousy in this scene, zutara shippers just like making it about themselves. Aang doesnt mention Zuko once. Hes not thinking "Katara might have feelings for someone else" hes thinking "I dont know where I personally stand with Katara as she has been sending mixed signals." Which is, frankly, reasonable, even if he went about trying to express this in the wrong way. Thats not jealousy, thats a basic desire of wanting someone to communicate with you.
Painting Katara's frusteration and refusal to care about the potential of Aang getting hurt as just toxic jealousy would be anti Katara.
zk: here's a fic where aang faces consequences for burning Katara
Now, before I go into this one, lets remember the real consequences Aang faced, like getting jumped and slammed into the ground, like feeling so guilty as to swear off something he needs to save the world, like this incedent shown to be one of the things that haunt Aang the most when hes opening his chakras. Like this insident (incident? Im not looking it up rn) literally being the context in which he allows Zuko into their lives as he believes Zuko can help teach him firebending in such a way as to avoid ever hurting someone again.
Heres a list of things Katara did and did not face consequences for: abandoning Aang along with Sokka because Aang withheld a map for a few hours, stealing a waterbending scroll and sneaking to use it despite agreeing not to and putting everyone in danger, (she got saved and still got to keep the scroll, even made it very obvious she felt no remorse for this, I consider that not facing consequences), making Aang think Appa was sick, telling people Aang is the avatar because shes proud of it despite that putting Aang in danger many times, encouraging Aang to throw himself at problems with no help like Hei Bai and the NWT invasion, stealing appa after Aang said he did not want her to.
If someone were to write a fic where Aang's mistakes are ignored, and these mistakes of Katara's were emphasized and used as reasoning shes not good for Aang, to the point where they add consequences that didnt happen but could have happened, like Aang getting captured and/or hurt in order to make her feel guilty, that would be, say it with me, anti Katara.
When someone ephasizes or exaggerates a characters flaws while ignoring their good deeds and qualities, that is being anti, not fair criticism, especially if they do it while ignoring most of the flaws and mistakes another character has made and treating them as near perfect and a victim of the first character.
Most zutara shippers are not interested in analyzing the show for the sake of fair criticism of characters. If they were, they would be pointing out Katara's mistakes just as often as Aang's. They are only interested in justifying their dislike for Aang.
X
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cowchickenbeefpork · 8 months ago
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Ummm thoughts about Ed’s NPD and BPD? Interested to hear especially after reading your fic
AAAAA THANK YOU FOR READING IT!!!!! with my worldview of Ed having both I feel like his NPD is more prominent and noticeable, it's his first go-to when it comes to his defenses even if he is hiding it (aka season one, I would say he is more overt in his narcissistic vulnerability while covert in his grandiosity in that season, he flip flops around a lot in his presentation on his narcissism in the series buttttt from what I can remember he goes back and forth from hiding his grandiosity but not hiding his vulnerability to hiding his vulnerability but not his grandiosity.) his bpd came first to me, and since most people dont like those traits and he often gets maniuplated for them, he tries to repress it and focus on his narcissism. his npd also keeps him from splitting on himself more often too, both borderlines and narcissists often times see everything as either good or bad, you either are all good or your all bad, which is why treatment is often very hard for both of these groups because no one is all good or all bad. this is why narcissists try to avoid anything that shows a flaw in how they view themselves, they cannot have done a bad thing, since doing a bad thing means they are a bad person, their defenses are more stable and hard to overcome than a borderlines because of this.
i think a easy way to tell is how people with npd and people with bpd split. since npd is more so focused on the self and maintaining the ego, theres three catergories of viewing relationships instead of just two. the first one is someone to perform to, someone to get easy praise from and being able to keep your self essteem in check so you can still feel good about yourselves ( i dont think i need to state here that narcissistss dont actually love themselves, only the image they are trying to contain, this kind of splitting can also be seeing the person theyre performing for as a equal but its not really close, its more superficial ). the two other types are more devaluing, the second kind of narcisstic splitting is seeing someone as someone to inghore, someone who just does not get it and is too stupid too ever get it, the thrid one is the most simliar to borderline splitting since it sees the other as a predator, someone trying to sabotage and hurt them and trying to vitcimize them.
bpd splitting is more so focused on the other, seeing them as someone who is just perfect and you want to know everything about them and always make them happy and how they're just perfect, to them being someone being an abuser manipulator who never cared or loved them in the first place. both of these kinds of splitting are similar in structure but still different, narcissism still mostly focuses on the self while borderline focuses more on the other, narcissism as a defense mechanism is more so focused on the superficial while borderline is more focused on the personal.
when you apply this logic to how ed splits on people, then you kinda start to see this way of performing to keep his ego in check just does not apply to how he treated oswald! his attempts to please him and to help him were exteremly self sacfricial and often put his life on the line! he didnt need to do all of this for oswald to get oswald's praise and admiration, what he does for oswald is more simliar to a borderline wanting to do anything for their favorite person and showcase how much they care for them than a narcissist thinking they met an equal which brings their self essteem up! in the end of how the riddler got his name ed said he based his whole self worth on oswald, and instead of letting himself grieve normally, he tells himself he doesnt need anyone anymore and that hes fine now. the narcissism took over, it didnt even let him fully grieve. he didnt see oswald as just someone to bring his ego up like he did with kristen he didnt reduce oswald's existence to just that, oswald was the only person who ever loved or cared for him and was this amazing figure who ended up being someone who never actually loved him and was only using him in ed's eyes.
i would argue his relationship with lee was more so borderline too, she was the only person he was close to and was the only person who could take his shit during that whose collapse of his ego. he genuinely cared for her and was willing to kill himself out of paranoia he would hurt her! that is not narcissism, he did have narcissistic intentions with their relationship at the start of season four, but it changes into the codependency similarly to what he had with Oswald, only this time being a bit more one sided
That's why ed sticks to his narcissistic defenses more, because, to Ed, this is the only way you can love someone! you can only ever fully love someone if you would basically cut off your whole arm for them just to give them a gift, there are no boundaries! if he only acts selfish in his relationships then he will end up killing them like he did with Kristen too, so as a cope he pretends he doesn't want or desire close relationships during the later seasons, trying to paint himself as a cold logician just so he can have some admiration and praise and love but only from a distance since he knows if he gives too much, something like what happened with Oswald might happen again, and if he takes too much, something like what happened with Kristen might happen again. an Oswald will lead him into being weak and dumb, and a Kristen will lead him into being a monster who only exists to leech off and hurt others. if he just doesn't date then he can never experience either event again and can brush them off like they say nothing about him.
IDK if this whole thread makes any lick of sense, I don't think he was being borderline with Kristen but I do think he realized she was a real person with her own beliefs and opinions only after he killed her, which caused him to panic and repress any guilt or grief he had for the incident and convince himself it was no one's fault and was just destined to happen. Edward is terrible at accepting he did something awful or has emotions and needs, so he represses whatever he feels that conflicts with the image he has of himself and thinks that will be his permanent solution when it always fails him after a few months. he basically ignores and represses his borderline until he finds someone who seems like they are amazing to him which is just. kinda explodes all over the place I AM SO SORRY THAT HIS WHOLE EXPLANATION SUCKS ASS I HOPE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR ASK QUESTIONS IF I WAS UNCLEAR!!!!
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karoochui · 1 year ago
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I just wanted to say I am so enamoured with Binary Insurgence! I eat up everything, every little crumb, you drop about it and the entire idea is so interesting to me! I'm so in love with stories and worlds like this! I'm also curious to know about the relationship between Sun and Moon, if it's alright to ask. How was it before the fire compared to after? Does their relationship begin to mend (because I'm certain over the years it deteriorated) when y/n comes back into the picture? If any of this is too spoilery or you just haven't fleshed it out yet then you don't have to answer! I'm just super curious about the boys and how you see their dynamic/relationship. I just look forward to seeing how their bond has grown and/or broken and how it may be mended over time.
AHH im glad you like it so much!! Im happy to talk about what i've got, but you are right not everything is fully fleshed out. I have points i wanna get to but while im brainstorming and planning i make up a lot of stuff as i go and then go over it again later to see if i like it or can connect stuff in any way. I have 3 chapters for Arc 1 fully summarized as of now! (Which probably doesn't seem like a lot but i like my chapters long, so it's quite a bit actually).
I wanna say, too, that i'm planning for the first story to be more in the perspective of the reader, so most things about Sun and Moon's personal thoughts and feelings are gonna be more implied than said. I might have some switching points of view, i'm not sure, but i haven't found a place i'd do it or think it's relevant. The sequel is gonna be more from their perspective since it'll mostly be about them.
NOW! I see Sun and Moon as brothers, so they really treat each other in a way that's like that. Before the fire they get along pretty well. Most instances of issue would be when Moon blocks out Sun when he fronts, or just mutual panic over the fact Moon lost his shit w/ the virus. They'll have their disagreements about things (i havent planned specifics yet) but generally they're chill. Sun just worries about Moon hurting people, but Moon worries too. With the way the virus functions in this AU it's hard for Sun to fully fault Moon for what he does, especially because he's also affected by it but not nearly as bad. (I'm gonna explain this more in another ask i have).
Plus, even before the virus they were always glitch/bug-ridden because technicians fucked up their programming continuously after removing them from the theater to work in the daycare. So they had to kinda navigate through that together, glitches and errors on both ends (though not deadly). They hate P&S bc of this, obviously. Hardware fixes suck but they fucking HATE software examinations.
Later on though some issues come into play whenever Sun starts getting worse by being further exposed to the virus (it gets worse for him when they eclipse) because it presents itself in Sun differently than it does Moon. He gets snappier and angrier at times (that comic i made that's captioned "well someones snappy") and while they both understand he doesnt mean the shit he does it's still not great. And nobody's gonna just let themselves be talked to like a dog even if the reason it's happening is because of something the other person can't really help. They're still relatively fine at this point, though.
It's at the end when shit goes really bad, because this part of the story does end badly. I won't spoil specifics but after the fire Sun loses his shit. He starts trying to put the blame on Moon for everything (the virus enhancing his already bad habits/fucking with his line of thinking) out of grief and anger. That carries over into the apocalypse and he just gets worse in general. He gets irrational.
It's a long period of time though, so he eventually also manages it, in his own way. But! I did say before in an ask that in the sequel he's "not evil, persay, but he's a fucking nut". He damns Moon to an hourglass to just fucking get rid of him about 100~ years before they meet you again (he fully thinks he's in the right for this (and he also just hates him) and the only reason he really even stayed around after that was to make sure Moon didn't get out again). He's not a bad-intentioned individual, but he's off the fucking wall at many times bc of the virus having made him worse. He's stubborn as all hell to an infuriating degree, he's irrational, hard-headed, reckless, and while a good bit of his old, kinder self is still pretty prevalent he can be downright fucking mean if provoked. Again, worse than before, and it doesn't take much these days! I always imagined him to have more dramatic, snappy, diva aspects to his personality (even before Help Wanted 2 came out) bc hes so theatrical and intense, so basically take a Sun that's like that, crank it up to 100 and put him in a Bad Situation. That's what Round 2 Sun is like at his worst. He's not a complete lost cause though, and he's far from dumb when he does stuff, just clouded by his own judgement. He doesn't think anything's wrong with him (or does he?).
Moon doesn't really hate him like Sun hates Moon, because although he knows that what happened (the ending of the first story) is technically both of their faults he just feels guilt. They do fight a lot, though. Most of it is Moon trying his best to tell Sun that he's basically full of shit and not seeing things right after Sun starts something, but Sun's at the point where he's gotta learn by consequence. Part of the reason he's so bad is bc 1: hes been infected by the virus for so long now and 2: in his grief, anger, and resentment he's learned to live with it rather than fighting it.
But the sequel is gonna be a feel-good story! Falling in love w/ the reader all over again, i want things to get cleared up - or at least some kind of middle ground between Sun and Moon - the whole sha-bang.
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genderqueerdykes · 4 months ago
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i know you arent really able to determine what an other persons identity is(? im not great with words sometimes, hopefully u get what i mean—) but from experiences ive been having lately im starting to wonder if im cupioromantic
ive been in romantic relationships in the past, but as of late ive been wanting to be in one but have been failing to build that type of bond. ive been trying to put myself out there but it doesnt seem to work
i havent had a crush on a real person in a long time (specifying real person cuz i DO have crushes on fictional characters)
so now im really confused cuz idk if its me just not finding anyone that piques my interest or just not experiencing romantic feelings
btw im not really looking for a "you have this" response, id much rather have a discussion type of response if that makes any sense at all
you know what, i relate really heavily to that. i hadn't had the thought to look into the term cupioromantic until now, but i'm glad that i did because this may be something i experience, personally
i find personally for me as someone who's on the aromantic spectrum, it's really hard for me to figure out where friendships end and romantic relationships begin. it's always been insanely difficult for me to tell if someone is interested in me or not and most of the time i completely fail to realize someone has been crushing on me for a while because i just don't pick up on those signals. i don't know how to
i find a lot of people relate to not forming crushes on other irl people, but finding themselves forming crushes on romantic characters. i haven't had a crush on a real person, as far as i can tell, in my entire life, but i do develop crushes on fictional characters as well. irl, usually the type of feeling i get is "i want to be close to this person, be there for them, help them, and make them happy". it's definitely the desire to partner, but with virtually no romantic feelings whatsoever.
it's strange because i find that i can enjoy romantic relationships as long as the other person understands that i don't really get those types of feelings. like i'm okay if someone is in romantic love with me, i just want folks to respect that i personally cannot feel that specific type of love and recognize that it doesn't hurt anyone that i experience love differently (or not at all). i still would care for this person and be there for them, even if i'm not the world's biggest fan of kissing or cuddling or romantic gestures
i guess what im saying is i relate to what you're experiencing! i know you didn't ask what to be told but i did want to say that it does sound like your experience aligns with the aromantic spectrum in general, if you want to explore this label and try using it, i see no harm in doing so. you're seeking something that suits your specific situation and it's okay to try something that you're unsure of. this has got me questioning if that suits my experience as well
good luck figuring things out! either way there's nothing wrong with having these types of feelings! feel free to ask any other questions you may have!
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