#-obviously an ideal way this would go. with a more defensive person its also possible though

[snekdood]

i honestly just think gen z and gen alpha have an issue with communication in general and thats causing a lot of fucking issues.

[prettyoddfever]

do you like Ryan's or Brendon’s version of Nearly Witches better?

lol do y’all think Spencer just sat in a corner until someone told him to play drums or what? 

Around early 2007 Ryan told Helio “on the new record that we just started to write it has been Spencer and I writing the lyrics together and working out what we call the plot line.” I was excited about that because Spencer had a huge imagination, a flair for the dramatic, and was the creative vision behind a lot of visual aspects of the band in the Fever era. Ryan and Spencer were a strong team for the years while they were still on the same page (and one of Spencer’s favorite authors was Chuck Palahniuk btw). Hopefully this goes without saying, but just because one person gets credit for writing the lyrics doesn't mean that they were the only person involved in creating the song as a whole.

Obviously it was a good thing that the cabin album got scrapped. The band needed to unwind and go in a totally different direction after the absurdly intense end of 2006, but the cabin album wasn’t something they could actually tour with or play on festival stages with normal instruments (more info here). It was way too complex for a start. Ryan was even talking about writing a companion book with more of the story for that album. Songs like It’s True Love didn’t work very well outside of the context of the cabin album when the actual storyline was missing. Brendon’s voice was having a hard time in general at Summerfest on July 7th, but the absolutely brutal fan backlash online for It’s True Love focused completely on the lyrics. People were treating it as a single meant to stand on its own and were totally missing the tone & context of any possible story. It didn’t really work.

Jon was the most eager to put the scrapped album behind them and just move on (maybe because he was such a key player in defining the band’s new direction in summer 2007). Spencer was the one who came to the defense of the cabin album the fastest in many interviews in late 2007 & early 2008. He often said something about how the idea wasn’t bad or the songs themselves weren’t bad… it just wasn’t the right time for them. Now skip to summer 2008: Nearly Witches wouldn’t have made it onto FOB’s mixtape if the band was 100% over it. There was still something there. However, Ryan and Jon were moving in a very different direction with the songs they were writing for P!ATD’s third album that season (they ended up using a lot of those songs for The Young Veins). They wanted to get so scaled-back that Ryan was even eventually talking about how he didn’t want to use any orchestration on the next album (contrast that with how Spencer was saying during the Pretty. Odd. era that “Ideally it would be amazing to play with a couple of string players and a couple of horn players every night” and also said that he hoped the band could eventually travel with “a string quartet and a three-piece horn section” lol. Spencer definitely did want to do something “different” after the Fever era ended, but he absolutely retained his flair for the dramatic and his large-scale creative vision).

The original version of Nearly Witches sounded like it was about Cricket, but we don’t know how it fits into the larger story of the cabin album. We’re missing the context. Spencer and Brendon were able to take the early version of Nearly Witches and turn it into something bigger that could stand on its own. It’s pretty incredible how they made it fit a completely different album too.

Both versions are amazing. I just see them as serving very different purposes for different stages of the band.

BRENDON'S VERSION IS NOT MOCKING RYAN:

I don’t think that Brendon was “mocking Ryan” in the intro to that song during the V&V era or whatever some people think these days. Brendon did that voice sometimes in the pre-split years too when he was being an adorable little weirdo in his narrator character onstage... he even did that voice recently at the Seattle show I was at (here’s a contrast of that same voice over 16 years apart). Plus, google the definition of burlesque and you get:

A burlesque is a literary, dramatic or musical work intended to cause laughter by caricaturing the manner or spirit of serious works, or by ludicrous treatment of their subjects.

That's literally what he was doing. Brendon’s delivery in the “here I am, composing a burlesque out of where they rest their necks” intro to that song completely fit what he was singing. I really have no idea how that could be perceived as mocking Ryan.

Also, AFYCSO is absolutely not the "burlesque" that any version of Nearly Witches is referring to. The more old-fashioned vaudevillian second half of AFYCSO was written in the studio in summer 2005 with the help of Matt Squire, where the guys were drawing inspiration from a whole range of decades and sources (the album’s cover art portrayed that too). The whole vaudeville visual theme with the band wasn’t really around until Lucent Dossier got involved with the IWSNT video in late 2005 and returned for the 2006 summer tour. In between, the band talked about “English dandy” inspiration during their first headlining tour in spring 2006 and the most flamboyant aspect of that show was Brendon’s top hat and bow.

Yes, Ryan wrote most of the lyrics for AFYCSO. But he was very clear that Brendon & Spencer were involved in the overall process of creating the songs as well (see the bullet points in this post). If Brendon or Spencer took a dig at AFYCSO, they���d be targeting themselves too.

[oitommothetease]

Invisible String (2/?)

Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Female reader (Modern AU)

Description: James Buchanan Barnes, the owner of the most expensive-looking club in town and your new apartment. He was a dick and you hated him. What could possibly go wrong when you, the new girl in town, start bartending at his club to pursue your dreams?

Warning: Sexual assault, mention of an anxiety attack.

Word Count: 1641

It turns out you definitely can't do this. Working in retail sucks, majorly. Customers are so awful to you and other employees as well. You didn't make the products, you don't control the prices, then why should you listen to them rant about it all day?

This job was from 9 am to 4 pm, which reminded you a lot of your previous job. By the time you got home, you were exhausted mentally and physically. Your current schedule was eerily similar to your previous lifestyle, which left you with no time to work on your book.

You felt like you were stuck in an insufferable loop that you just can't seem to escape no matter how hard you try. You thought about Mr. Barnes a lot, too. If only you weren't so egoistic and been a little nicer, then maybe you could have had that job.

With each passing day, you were becoming desperate. The only reason why you didn't run to Mr. Barnes a week ago was your pride. A pride that would not let you bow down to that rude, egoistic asshole.

It's like the universe could hear your thoughts and the devil himself walked through the doors of the store. Fuck, he can't see you here. He's going to think you're some nut job who's chasing stupid dreams after having an excellent degree. At least that's what your parents think.

You were about to run and hide behind an aisle when the voice you knew too well called out for you.

"Hey, do you know where I could find-"

"You," He said, without an emotion. "What are you doing here?"

You pointed towards the badge with the name tag on your shirt and mouthed working.

"Why?"

"Why?" You pretended to think, "I don't know, I interviewed for this other job about a week ago, but the boss was an ass."

"You lied to me," he stated as if it wasn't the most obvious thing.

"Gee, sorry, dad."

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what again?" You questioned.

" Diverging a question with a joke," He answered with an unaffected tone like he was studying you and your reaction.

"You know who I am." he stated. It should have been a question, but both of you were aware of what he meant.

"A vampire?" You mocked. He didn't look like one though, but hey, neither did Edward nor Stefan. But God, those steel-blue eyes could drink you up and you wouldn't complain. Focus.

For the first time you saw an emotion on his face that wasn't unaffected or bored, he was confused. Of course, he was confused, you were referencing twilight to a mob boss (you think, you weren't sure, but that's all you could gather from all the articles you found about him online).

"I need that job," you confessed. " I know it's not very convincing, but I need you to trust me-"

He raised a brow at that and his lips turned into a smirk. God, you wished you could swipe off that smirk from his stupidly handsome face.

"But you don't trust me, " you stated dejectedly and started turning around. "You wanted something? "

In an instant, his hand wrapped around your wrist gently, stopping you in your tracks. You ignored the involuntary shudder that ran through you and immediately yanked your hand out of his grasp.

You turned around and were about to give him a piece of your mind about how he shouldn't just come to your place of work and touch you without consent. He clearly guessed your thoughts and cut in.

"Clint Barton, the manager, he will tell you everything you need to know about bartending and handling the customers."

Did he just hire you? What changed between this and your previous meeting with him?

And just like that, he left. There was a part of you that wanted to say fuck off I don't need your help, but you knew better, so you went to that club later that evening. You found the Manager, Clint. He told you he was expecting your arrival and that made you feel weird because Mr. Barnes was totally opposite the day you met.

Your new job required you to be at work from 8 pm to 3 am, which was ideal for you. You usually reach home and pass out till 4 in the morning and wake up around noon. This schedule gave you a lot of time to work on your book.

You ended up making friends with some other people that work there as well. Wanda was the smart, sarcastic one that you'd have died to have as a friend in high school. Pietro, her twin brother, was also nice, a bit fast and impatient, but he was nice to you. Peter looked very young, but he knew what he was doing and he'd help you out a lot. That kid had a lot of energy and adrenaline, which surprised you every time he'd be done with work way before you.

You didn't see Mr. Barnes frequently. You saw him one time entering the club, and you tried to give him a smile which he ignored and went straight to his office upstairs. And then you decided to ignore him as well. It wasn't like you to be petty, okay, maybe you were being petty, but in your defense, he started it.

You were finishing up cleaning the table and were about to call it a day when a man you didn't recognize, probably wasn't a regular, came in asking for a drink.

"I'm sorry, sir. We're closed." You told him politely.

"Whiskey on the rocks."

You wanted to refuse him again, but you stopped yourself when he came into your sight. He didn't look like the kind of man who'd take your no seriously. He looked just as intimidating as Mr. Barnes, even more, but Mr. Barnes knew his boundaries, whereas this man in front of you evidently didn't. You could tell this by the way his gaze was slowly taking your body in and stopping a little longer at your cleavage.

You wanted to cringe and curse yourself for choosing to wear a top like that in a place filled with drunk men. The smarter part of your brain told you that he can go fuck himself, and you shouldn't think about men when you dress up. Women are entitled to wear whatever they want to and fuck men and people who tell them otherwise.

Carefully, you made his drink and handed it to him. His hand lingered on yours while taking the glass from you, and you wanted to just throw the drink across his face. His gaze remained on your chest even when you fixed your top and coughed twice to call his behavior out.

"What time do you get off?" he asked, eyes still on your chest.

Is this guy for real? , you thought.

"Um, this is highly inappropriate and I think you should leave now because I have to call it a night." you rejected politely, raising your hand towards the door, hoping he'd leave.

He chuckled darkly, his stare still drinking in your body as if you were a piece of meat, and it made you very, very uncomfortable. He obviously wasn't taking no for an answer, and you had no clue what to do. You were the only person left, and you didn't even know who to ask for help.

"Come on, baby girl," he said, walking towards you and forcefully snaking his hands around your waist to settle on your hips. " Don't make this harder than it should be. "

"No!" you yelled, pushing him away and creating some distance between you.

"Hard way it is then," he decided, walking towards you and forcefully holding the hem of your shirt in his hands to remove it. You struggled, yelled, and pushed him off you again. He furiously lunged forward towards you and hit you hard across the face. "Fucking bitch."

"Rumlow!" a voice boomed from behind you, and you hated yourself for being in such a vulnerable state. As much as you tried not to, tears welled up in your eyes and you hated being the helpless damsel in distress.

"Get the fuck out of here." the familiar voice ordered.

"Chill, Barnes. We were just having a little fun," the man known as Rumlow reasoned nonchalantly. "Besides, it's not my fault if she wears clothes like this."

You were all about feminism and how women should be treated equally with respect despite their attire, but at that moment you hated yourself for choosing that deep-neck shirt this morning.

"I'm not going to chill while you sexually harass my employees, so get the fuck out of here," Mr. Barnes warned again.

You closed your eyes and hoped that maybe this was a shitty dream and you'd wake up in your bed and have an anxiety attack because of the nightmare. You hoped that maybe the ground beneath you would open up and swallow you, so you could just not think about this ever.

You heard two sets of footsteps faintly in the background, one dragging its way away from you and the other rushing towards you. Furthermore, you didn't have it in you to open your eyes and meet the ocean blue ones that you knew were waiting for you.

In your head, you had already taken up the blame. The verdict came out the moment his gaze landed on your chest that it was your fault that you wore this shirt. Of course, if you were thinking right, you would have realized that you were undoubtedly the victim here and Rumlow was an asshole who assaulted you, but in your helpless state, your mind decided you were at fault here.

TAGS: @bananapipedreams​

[piduai]

i don’t think that what ogata feels towards yuusaku can be called guilt, or rather that he feels anything towards yuusaku at all. don’t get me wrong there are definitely complex feelings involved and i do think that what he’s feeling is close enough to guilt but it’s more than that and less than that at the same time.

people go really deep into analysis of biblical themes in gk while clearly having a christian-influenced perspective. gk does have its share of them obviously, though i think most if not all of them are fake deep and hand-picked for the aesthetic. one of the more obvious biblical themes is that yuusaku was ogata’s sacrificial lamb, therefore he was the perfect, blameless victim. yuusaku’s purity is what drives ogata crazy - a life so innocent even someone who kills with no remorse gets second thoughts. ogata’s slip into insanity started the second he shot yuusaku; we get an objective perspective where he falls down immediately, and we have ogata’s perspective when he turns back and looks at ogata in an accusing, surprised, disappointed way. your sins staring back at you, in a way, accusing you of committing them, accusing you of evil.

yuusaku is not really a person in the narrative, he’s purposefully kept as lacking personality as possible, and without ogata he would be pointless. yuusaku is everything ogata could be. yuusaku is everything ogata hates. 

ogata was never loved. as humans we're all wired to want to connect with others, but because he was never loved, good, healthy bonds are alien to him, so he tries to reach others in the only ways he knows how - through negative bonding. ogata is hyperaware of his inadequacy and the fact that he's severely lacking something as a person, but he prefers to self-sabotage and self-destroy by hurting others. he projects onto people as a way of connecting and as a way of rationalizing his own thoughts and experiences. yuusaku is everything that ogata could have been, he represents everything ogata lacks as a person and is ogata’s antithesis. he is the epitome of the normalcy ogata so craves. i don't think ogata would care much if it wasn't his own flesh and blood, but by being his brother yuusaku basically stole ogata's spot under the sun, the normal life and normal personality ogata could have had, in a way. of course, none of it was yuusaku’s fault, and ogata was aware of that, but bitterness and jealousy are feelings difficult to control just by understanding and acknowledging them.

if yuusaku left him alone ogata would probably leave him mind his own business, but yuusaku pushed his presence on him too - not out of ill intent, he just wanted to get close to his older brother because that’s what normal people do, they value and appreciate family, especially someone who was actually raised with love and care and virtue. he kept rubbing salt into ogata’s wounds by being so painfully normal and pure and idealistic and stupid, and his worst sin was trying to be kind to his brother. trying to see the best in him, telling him that he’ll be by his side no matter what, and showing hope for him. he cried for him. who else cried for ogata? who else disregarded his defenses and embraced him for warmth and compassion? who else accepted him? ogata is so critically not used to being shown normal human kindness that when he gets it he freezes. and it's the worst when it comes from his nemesis. "how dare you look at me from your high position, golden boy? how dare you pity me? how dare you love me?"

and ogata tried his best to tear yuusaku down, to dirty him and soil him and drag him down to his level, but he could not. so he killed him in hopes that his death will prove that ogata also had a chance at normalcy, and that if yuusaku's gone he will become ok. but he didn't. so he hates himself for killing yuusaku without managing to soil him. he realized his own mistake the moment his bullet hit his brother’s head; he realized that this mistake will haunt him to the end of his days, this failure of absolving himself of perceived sin, this acceptance for innocence as the currency for moral corruption. guilt towards other comes with a regret for doing them wrong, guilt towards oneself is often selfish in nature, born out of failure to do the right thing. i don’t think ogata feels regret towards killing yuusaku, but he does feel regret towards killing yuusaku while allowing him to stay pure and failing to tear him and his hypocrisy to shreds. if only yuusaku allowed himself to get corrupted in order to humor his brother - slept with a hooker, murdered an enemy - then these moral qualms on ogata’s side wouldn’t exist; he would have killed someone who is just like him. 

while obviously flawed, ogata’s logic isn’t difficult to follow. both yuusaku and asirpa were innocent if the question is framed in terms of morality, but their innocence comes with a price everyone else has to pay. asirpa is against committing murder for religious reasons; those who kill humans are cursed and will go to hell, but she isn’t necessarily against murder itself if others do it, though she does not condone it. yuusaku was keen on keeping both his virginity and his killing count to 0 because he wanted to fulfill the role his father put on him - bearing the flag, putting yourself in the danger of the front lines and raising morale, what an honor. but ultimately both of them just refused to get their hands dirty while everyone else had to. it comes off as hypocritical and cruel. there is no bloodless revolution and there is no bloodless war.

ogata saw yuusaku in asirpa. he hated her for that. he hated asirpa for holding onto her hypocritical ideals and principles of purity the same way yuusaku did.  he hated asirpa for being kind to him. "people like you and him shouldn't exist in this world" - they crumble his delusion that everyone is inherently rotten. and if people are not inherently rotten, then it means that the problem, indeed, lies within himself.

guilt towards others comes with remorse, wanting their forgiveness and pursuing ways to atone. it is selfless, it is something that is not self-centered. therefore i do not think ogata feels guilt towards yuusaku. even after yuusaku’s murder at his own hands, ogata assumes that he is forgiven - he tells the ghost he hallucinates that his kindness will ruin him. guilt towards himself and his failures though? that’s his cross to bear.

[magioftheseas]

The Capital Magical Defense Force

For @oumota-events

DAY 1: Magical Boys AU

Rating: T​+

Warnings: Violence, blood, death mentioned, darker implications. Yeah it’s one of those magical au. The daaaaark subversions.

Notes: This is the longest one because we’re starting off with a big bang~ It’s not that long though. It’s just not a ficlet unlike the others. I did really enjoy writing this though. It’s a pretty...fun...au. Yeah. Haha.

Ao3 Link

In just about every world, there are unseen forces to make sure a system works a certain way. That the cogs in the machine turn without fail and that any disturbances are dealt with promptly. These unseen forces can be mundane and dull—but they can also be fantastical...while still incredibly dull.

In this instance, there are two worlds. The dull, mundane one and the dull, fantastical one. The only way to transverse is through contracts between the respective denizens, and it turns out that said contracts are necessary to keep everything in order.

There are benefits, truly. If one world collapses, the other is taken with it. It is within everyone’s best interest that the denizens work together—even if certain manipulations need to be made. After all, the greater good is such a vague and nebulous concept. It’s more encouraging to offer personal gains.

Like, for example, keeping someone alive, be it from sickness or the aftereffects of a horrible, terrible, despairing accident. The desire to live is a powerful force shared among many, both dim-witted and intelligent. It’s an efficient deal to make, especially when the other side of the exchange is not only responsibilities, but special, magical abilities to deal with those responsibilities.

Shame, then, that one particular being blessed with those abilities, those responsibilities, that gift of survival...doesn’t seem to fully appreciate it. Certain arrangements have been made. That being has been assigned to the same areas as another being of a similar caliber, but far more keen to do what must be done.

This is as much an experiment as it is an effort to keep matters under control. Observations are to be as follows...

--

“In the name of the stars, I’m gonna kick your fucking ass!!”

The town hero known as Starboy was being filmed again. Floating about, sending so-called comet punch after comet punch. The monster squealed under the abuse, but it didn’t squeal as much as that fucking eyesore that tailed the magical boy around as he cursed colorfully under his breath.

“This jackass just doesn’t know when to quit!”

“S-Starboy-kun,” the thing whimpered. “Please watch your language! Kids idolize you!”

“Sorry!” Starboy exclaimed, focusing more on the fight thankfully. “It’s just—let me protect the city first!!”

With a battle cry, Starboy summoned all his strength for a starstorm, pummeling the monster more and more until it fizzled out of existence. Starboy was left slumped on the ground and gasping for breath, but still found it in him to whoop for joy.

Unfortunately for him, that moment of victory was short-lived.

“Geeeez, Starboy-chan, I thought you’d really get trampled this time! You didn’t even need any help!” Another magical boy landed on the scene, right next to where the monster had once been and plucking up the fragment which was all that remained.

“H-Hey!” Starboy shouted, more like wheezed. “What the hell—that’s not yours to take!”

“It’s payment for making me worry so much,” he cackled. “You really should be more careful! You don’t want to be killed in the line of duty, now do you?”

Weakened as he was from the fight, dodging Starboy lurching towards him was child’s play.

“D-Dice!!” that eyesore shrieked. “You and Starboy-kun should be working together! Why are you doing this?!”

Dice gave that thing a cold stare, but grinned in Starboy’s direction.

“Because I like you. That’s a lie. I like messing with you. Also a lie! I really—love you, Starboy-chan!”

“Quit messing around!” Starboy gasped. “Y-You—if you need those damn fragments, you don’t have to steal them! You’re a magical boy, aren’t ya?! You should be helping me defend the city! And then I’d split them with ya even!”

Aah. This guy...

“Oh Starboy-chan, I actually, truthfully loathe you,” Dice sighed.

“D-Dice!” the thing shrieked and without looking, Dice had fired a beam that knocked the pitifully contemptible creature out, much to Starboy’s dismay.

“S-SHIROKUMA...!”

Before he could go to help, however, Dice had seized the bow of his uniform, yanking him to not-quite eye level.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’d stop bothering with that thing and join me instead.”

Starboy only scowled.

“Why the hell would I join you when you act like a villain! I-If I could, I’d beat your ass too...!”

Such a remark gets Dice shoving him back, knocking him onto the ground. Starboy glared up at him defiantly, his stare only darkening as Dice grinned.

“It’s a joke, obviously!” he chirped. “After all—what sort of desperate loser would want to ally with an idiot like you?”

Starboy shouted at him, but whatever he shouted, he was already long gone. Starboy shouted again but, being the justice-obsessed type, he switched gears to muster up the strength to go stumbling after the fainted Shirokuma. Scooping the pitiful bear head-looking creature into his hands, Starboy avoided the incoming paparazzi and gracious civilians and rushed off to safety.

The ideal worker. Starboy will be a great boon of energy in the future once his limit is reached.

--

“Dice is such a fucking dick,” Kaito grumbles, rubbing ointment onto his bruises. “We’re both working for the same thing but for no reason at all, he’s self-serving and a piece of shit.”

He observes himself in the mirror, rubbing at the circles under his eyes. He’s been going at this whole magical boy hero thing for almost a year. It’s getting harder and harder, but for the sake of the city, he can’t give up. He’s its protector, after all.

Still, it’s getting difficult. His wastebasket is filled with bloodied tissue and bandages. Shirokuma, at least, is currently resting in a bucket of warm water. Dice’s attack had been as sudden as it was vicious, and for what?

“Why is he such a dick?” Kaito asks, but Shirokuma hums.

“Some people...are just bad. It can’t be helped. I’m sorry if that sounds despairing, Momota-kun.”

“Bad, huh.”

It’s not the first time he’s gotten that answer. When he describes Dice to his sidekicks, he more or less gets the same response. Harumaki even goes out of her way to call Dice a supervillain, which Shuuichi agrees to, but...

Here’s a secret that no one else knows. The crack in the foundation so painstakingly paved for black and white heroism.

Dice has saved his life more than once. When blood rushed up his throat and his knees buckled in, Dice would swoop in and let him save face. It would be passed off as Dice once again taking advantage of the situation...but it always, always happens when Kaito is facing death head-on.

Dice is a dick. A self-serving piece of shit. Possibly a supervillain.

He’s also definitely looking out for Starboy. It’s happened too consistently for Kaito to be convinced it’s unintentional.

If Dice insists on helping him, then surely he can’t be a bad person...except he still acts like a bad person most of the time.

What a headache.

“Feeling better, Momota-kun?” Shirokuma chirps up at him in that big sweet voice that Kaito can’t say no to, even when he probably should.

“Never better!”

A thumps-up. A wide grin. Doing his damnedest to pretend like his lungs don’t want to collapse in on themselves.

--

“Starboy-chan is such a fucking idiot.”

Ouma slams his chest of fragments shut. He still hasn’t figured out what the damn things do, but Shirokuma insists on collecting them so they must be important in some sense. Sure, Shirokuma says that it’s something to do with negative energy and restoring balance, blah, blah, blah—but Shirokuma is a piece of shit liar. And Ouma hates liars.

But he thinks he hates Starboy the most. Or, at least, he finds Starboy to be the most frustrating dumbass in the galaxy.

Because it’s obvious, isn’t it? It’s obvious that Shirokuma is shady as all get out. It’s obvious that there is something deeply wrong with the magical boy system. There have been so many disappearances and it’s suspicious as all get out how Starboy in particular is being worked to the bone and pushed to the brink.

There’s something seriously wrong with all of it.

Ouma just needs to figure out what before everything goes wrong.

--

To become a magical boy, one needs resolve. To encourage magical boys, a wish is often granted to sweeten—and seal the deal. Ouma’s was a cowardly, stupid wish that he’s still kicking himself for to this day, although in hindsight he should be glad it was so simple. The worthless wish to live as everyone else was dead around him.

He’s still haunted by their faces. He should’ve wished for them but couldn’t. He was targeted and tricked, and now he’s stuck. But the least he can do is make everything difficult for those monsters along the way.

Starboy—aka Momota Kaito...well. Ouma doesn’t know what his wish was, but he suspects it’s as stupidly noble and short-sighted as he’s come to expect.

Oh, yes, he knows that Starboy is Momota Kaito. Who wouldn’t know that? They look the same—although Ouma suspects that magic is at play since no civilians have made the connection. Not even Saihara Shuuichi, a would-be detective.

It’s clear, however, that Saihara-chan has noticed the effects.

“This is the fourth time you’ve had to clear your throat, Momota-kun.”

Momota clears his throat again. He musters up a laugh.

“It’s just been dry. No big deal. You worry too much.”

“Gooooooodness, Momota-kun!” Ouma crowed, skipping in. “Are you dying?! Please, please don’t die! I haven’t even gotten to tell you how much I love you!”

Momota recoils when Ouma jumps on him. Saihara shrieks in surprise but Momota only growls as he tries to shake the brat off.

“Let—GO!”

Ouma does, but not without jabbing the back of Momota’s knee and causing him to topple over. Saihara rushes to steady him, shooting Ouma quite the ugly look. Ouma shrugs that off.

“Whatever it is you’re doing is killing you,” he merely states. “So, you should stop lest you traumatize my poor Saihara-chan.”

“I...” Saihara swallowed, looking like he’d hate to agree but when it came to Momota... “You shouldn’t overwork yourself, Momota-kun.”

“I’m fine,” Momota slurred. “Totally fine. I’m a goddamn Luminary, Shuuichi...” He says he’s fine while learning into Saihara. It’s a bright sunny day. People are no doubt stealing glances, and Momota no doubt has to hide his exhausted face in his sidekick’s shoulder. It’s a good thing Harukawa isn’t here.

Ouma scoffed. Saihara shot him another glare.

“If you’re just here to mess with Momota-kun, you can leave.”

Saihara’s hands tighten on Momota. Goodness, it really is like Ouma is the supervillain tormenting the tired hero.

How boring.

Ouma turns heel, smiling as he waves them off.

I shouldn’t bother. I shouldn’t have to bother.

--

No matter how many times he’s thought that, he ends up in this situation. With Starboy exhausted on the ground and a fragment pinched so firmly between his fingers that it’s this close to embedding itself in the skin. Shirokuma floats around Starboy.

“He’s getting close,” Shirokuma is saying. “He won’t be able to take much more. How despairing. So despairing.”

Ou—Dice swats the thing to the ground. It giggles up at him.

“You can’t save him, you weren’t able to save your other friends. Just give up, Dice-kun. Give into despair.”

It’s laughing, its laughter resounding even as Dice stomps the thing to bits. It’ll just reshape itself and find Momota again. No matter what he does, he can’t get rid of it. It’s part of a damn hivemind after all.

Sighing, Dice goes to Starboy once again, and Starboy is lying there almost prone. Looking painfully pale. His breathing is shallow. At least he’s still alive.

But for how much longer? And what am I even doing wasting my time with this idiot? No matter what I tell him or how bad he gets, he refuses to back down and Shirokuma just eggs him on.

He gets down, rolling Starboy onto his back. Starboy groans and for a moment, he blearily comes to.

“Di...ce... You...again...” There’s a couple of missing words. It’s clearly difficult for Starboy to speak. He groans, eyes screwing shut. When Dice helps him sit up, he coughs and there’s a thin stream of blood that trickles down his chin. “U-Urgh...hurts bad.”

“Well, yeah. You don’t take breaks, idiot.” Ouma tutted him. “Some of the monsters you take are mooks. You shouldn’t waste your time.”

“S-Shuuut,” Starboy slurs. He coughs again. “I’m...s’posed to be...a hero. A-A... Luminary.”

It’s because of shit like this that made it was so easy for Ouma to find Momota in the first place.

And Starboy—fucking laughs.

“Even through that stupid mask of yours, I can tell you’re disproving.” He musters up a bit more strength to speak, for all the good that’s doing him. “You’re really worried, huh?”

“I don’t trust Shirokuma,” Dice said simply. “You shouldn’t either.”

Starboy swallows. No doubt swallows back blood. He sucks in his breath. He shakes. He tries to shake his head specifically. Ends up slumping against him. Dice isn’t as gentle with him as Saihara was, but Dice still has little choice but to help him up.

“Stay with me,” Dice ordered. “You’re not allowed to die.”

He’s wasting his breath. Starboy’s definitely going to die at this rate even if it’s not today. All because—

“I’m a hero,” Starboy is slurring. “Heroes don’t—take breaks...they don’t leave people to die.”

“You’re not a hero,” Dice snapped. One step at a time. “You’re just an idiot.”

“It’s not...not about trust...” Starboy huffs at him next. “Not that...you’d understand that... Ouma.”

Dice doesn’t pause. Far from it.

...idiot.

Ouma Kokichi wonders if it’s a coincidence that he and Momota ended up in this situation together.

...

That’s right. Momota Kaito is going to bring you down. The hero! The Luminary! Won’t that be the Ultimate Despair?

(That’s how she would respond.)

Ouma Kokichi, always so close and yet so far, can’t focus on that right now. He has to save the life of a dying man after all. The results are sure to be favorable.

And yet, also so very—predictable.

Boring.

[exn0bisstudios]

As a preface: no need to answer if you don’t feel comfortable with it,I know people sometimes don’t like these questions so no pressure if you’re one of them! Who likes kids, who would like to be a parent (if their partner also wanted that of course!), and who is good with kids? Thank you!

Well, firstly, thank you for your concern! I'm okay with these topics so long as it's not about me personally, so don't worry! That said, though, I'll put this under a cut since the topic might be uncomfortable for some people.

CW for: talk involving conception, infertility, pregnancy, miscarriage

Edited 5/16 - Changes to include more inclusive language. My apologies! 

Since we're talking about the ROs and kids, let us talk about MC too for a sec.

It should be noted that it is typically challenging for a Seer to bear children/impregnate someone. The corruption that comes with their Void powers usually renders them infertile, or at least close to. However, it's not unheard of for a Seer to have children. Still, it usually results in a difficult pregnancy and can be dangerous to both the carrier and the child. Additionally, any child born from a Seer (either parent) would be Dream-touched.

That said, as we know, MC is a very special Seer. Canonically, their powers have not rendered them infertile, though their kid would still end up Dream-touched. However, I will be leaving it up to players to decide if their MC can or can't have biological kids for other reasons. And, obviously, adoption is also very much an option!

Now on to the ROs!

Mira

Mira likes kids well enough, and they're usually very good with them. They struggle a bit with dealing with noble children. Still, Mira's kind and empathetic nature tend to have children warming up to them regardless. They used to help take care of the young recruits back at the Order, both daily routine stuff and some training.

They would absolutely love to have a family one day, but it's something they kinda push to the back of their mind and try not to think about. Their lifestyle doesn't lend itself to the stability and safety necessary for raising children, considering they could be killed in action any day. They think it would be grossly irresponsible to have a family, then end up dead somewhere and leave them hanging. Mira was an orphan themself, and they know firsthand how hard life is for kids on their own. They have no desire to contribute to that lifestyle or put their own potential child through that.

If there ever came a time where they could lay down their weapons for good, though, then yes. They'd want to start a family in whatever way they could. Though not opposed to having biological children, both masc & fem Mira would prefer to adopt. Again, being an orphan themself, they would choose to take in a child. Mira would ideally like 2-3 kids so they can have a big family to grow old with, and they'd be a very supportive and doting parent. They'd probably struggle with discipline.

Nova

Children confuse the absolute shit out of Nova, and the way mortals procreate admittedly terrifies them. Nightmares are not born in the same sense that mortals are; they just kinda pop into existence fully formed. When Nova first learned about mortal procreation, they had a minor mental breakdown. The idea of another, smaller living thing growing inside someone strikes them as distinctly horrific. They've done their best to accept the idea at this point in their life, but mainly they cope with it by ignoring its existence. They see a pregnant person and basically go, 'suddenly I have no eyes.' Babies and children continue to confuse them despite their best efforts, and they have no idea how to interact with them. You put a child around Nova, and you're liable to hear them genuinely asking the kid why they are so small and dumb.

Nova's mortal body is also infertile by design. They chose this shortly after they realized they actually enjoyed sex and would do it again. They don't know if it would be possible for them to become pregnant/impregnate someone, considering they're not actually mortal. Still, they didn't want to risk it.

The only time Nova would consider starting a family is if it was something their partner(s) really, really wanted. They'd sit down and have an honest talk about how it's something that they know nothing about, that the process scares them, and that they are absolutely going to need help learning how to handle it all. But, if their partner is willing to accept all that, Nova would be willing to try. Though again, they don't know if they can procreate with a mortal, so they'd probably recommend going for a surrogate or adoption. Eventually, Nova'd grow into a good parent, very supportive, and surprisingly level-headed.

Stella

They don't have too much of an opinion on children, which shows in how they don't really know how to interact with them. Stella feels super awkward around kids, and they're more likely to tell them to shoo. Their own childhood has tainted their views, and being around children brings up things they'd rather not think about. Honestly, the fastest way to make Stella disappear is to put a child nearby.

Deep down, though, they like the idea of starting a family. It would take a lot of encouragement to get them to admit that. It'd take even more to help them process long-ignored family-related trauma and unlearn a whole lot of unhealthy habits. With the proper support from their partner(s), though, they'd really like to give things a try. Fem Stella wouldn't mind carrying a child. Still, both fem & masc Stella generally don't care if their kid is biological or adopted.

Stella would make for a very nervous parent, and they'd be absolutely terrible at discipline. They'd probably helicopter and be overprotective and would have to be reminded by their partner(s) that things will be okay.

Désiré

So a bit of history: Dez is one of the only two ROs who already has child-rearing experience. His best friend and second-in-command, Alix, was born and raised in the brothel with him. While he grew up to be an errand boy and bodyguard, she became one of the courtesans. He took up smuggling and worked his ass off to get them out of there, but unfortunately, Alix became pregnant before they could escape. Alix's son, Dimitri, was born in the cabin of the first ship Dez ever owned.

Alix eventually married Catarina, the crew's healer, who has acted as Dimitri's other mother. Thus, while Dez is 'officially' Dimitri's uncle, he has always been his only father-figure. Dimitri is 14 by the time of the game and is still a very active part of Désiré's life. You'll actually get a chance to meet him in-game since he's got a place on Dez's crew (he's the cabin boy)!

Now that history is managed, it's safe to say that Désiré would love to start a family one day. It doesn't matter to him how, though going the biological route, let it be known he's excellent at tending to pregnancy needs. He's a wonderful parent, generally gentle while supportive and encouraging, and is comfortable being stern when it's called for.

Vittore Simone

Sadly I can't get into the specifics of Vittore Simone's thoughts on kids and family without it becoming a spoiler. However, I can say that he vowed when he was young that he'd never have kids and has never thought of it since. Going forward, it would never be something that crossed his mind unless brought up by his partner and would be something he'd defensively refuse at first. Later, he'd come back with apologies and to have a more open conversation on the matter to express his reservations and fears.

Suffice to say that the idea of being a father absolutely terrifies him, and he has always taken great pains to avoid it ever happening. Even just the thought is enough to send him into panic attacks. His partner will need to be patient with him and accept that this is something he may genuinely never be able to do for the sake of his own health and any future child's. It would take a lot of time, reassurance, work, healing, support, and understanding before Vittore Simone ever agreed to give parenthood a shot. It will not be an easy road for him or his partner. It would likely be a road that never truly ends, and he'd need to be sure that they can both accept that without damaging their own relationship. He would try, though. He would do his damnedest. And, thankfully, there will never be any doubt that he genuinely does love his kid.

As a father, initially, he would constantly be terrified he was hurting his kid somehow. He would struggle with being overly permissive & overprotective at the same time. He's liable to have a panic attack any time the kid cries for the first several years. His partner will have to help him get through 'I'm a terrible father, this was a mistake' breakdowns periodically. Slowly, though, he'll build some confidence and be more comfortable interacting and expressing himself with his kid. He'll always be supportive, and he'll work his hardest to be sure his family knows he loves them unconditionally. His partner will have to accept the role of disciplinarian, though. That's never going to be something he'll be able to do on his own (but of course, he'll be there to support them in those conversations. He doesn't want to make them the 'bad guy' by any means).

Andrai

The other RO with child-rearing experience! Andrai has 15 younger siblings (yes, you heard me correctly) and absolutely adores them all. They're all grown now, but he loved taking care of them when they were little, and he still dotes on them whenever he can, in his own way. In general, he loves kids. He just thinks they're adorable. And, despite appearances, he's excellent with them. Kids love this man, they flock to him, and he has no problem with that. It confuses most onlookers.

The idea of starting his own family turns him to absolute mush. And, he'd love to, so so much. Adoption, biological, and surrogacy are okay with him. It would be up to his partner to limit exactly how many kids they have since Andrai would just say he wants them all. He makes an excellent dad, albeit quiet, and is unwaveringly supportive. He's comfortable with discipline and is the type to encourage self-assessing behavior. He's excellent at giving advice and genuinely just likes spending time with his kids and being involved in their lives.

He's probably not the one you would peg as the 'domestic bliss' type, but he absolutely is.

Vzridmi

She's very comfortable with kids since communal rearing is very common in ork communities, and she'd love to have a family one day. Some kids unused to orks might find her a bit intimidating just because of her size, but in general, children think she's fun to be around. She doesn't necessarily think about it too much, though, at this point in her life. It's not something she sees as being on the table for quite some time - she has research and exploration to be doing, after all.

Whenever she was ready to settle down for a family, she'd be comfortable with carrying a child herself, surrogacy, or adopting. She would really like to have at least one biological child if possible, though. She would make for an entertaining mother, excited about her child's life and ever-supportive of their interests and pursuits. She's comfortable with all the aspects of child-rearing. Still, She would definitely need her partner's advice if they ever discovered their kid was dealing with bullying. She'd need to be reminded by her partner not to be overprotective - she's not above threatening others with her war-hammer if they upset her baby.

[gacy-lajla]

karasuno x trans!reader

warnings: accidental and intended misgendering, transphobic comments like twice and probably a curse or two

summary: after outing yourself as a trans man you were forced to live with your uncle Ittetsu Takeda and transfer schools

a/n: heya i’ve been binge watching haikyuu this past month or less (currently through half of season 4) and i just really really wanted to read some content where the reader is transgender!! i’m agender (they/them or he because we don’t have neutral pronouns where i live)

_____

Training started just like always, after a quick warm up everyone got back to improving on their skills. The team worked like clockwork as they practised as a group – of course not leaving out a little banter here and there. Coach Ukai was currently talking outside with Takeda which was nothing too out of the ordinary. The team was used to depend on themselves and coordinate accordingly. What they didn’t expect was for the two absentees to enter with a third person again. You. Tanaka and Nishinoya were the first to react, curiosity making the served ball drop.

“Is that a new manager?” Nishinoya’s eyes lit up as he took in the figure of the new person – Karasuno sure was lucky in that regard, it seemed.

“She looks cute, but not as cute as our Kiyoko!”, Tanaka added in, standing next to the Libero.

The other players attention was on you shortly after, taking your presence in before Sugawara scolded the two friends for being distracted that easily and to keep their eyes on the ball. They were about to resume when Takeda called for everyone’s attention. Quickly gathering around the coach, the teacher and the newcomer they bowed their heads in greeting, just as you did.

Harshly giving you two pats on your left shoulder blade Ukai made you step forward with himself, giving you a reassuring smile in the process. You rubbed your cold hands together, nervousness taking over your body as all eyes were now set on you. Catching on quickly the man introduced you to the team himself.

“Everyone, this is (y/n), a third year. He recently transferred to this school and will be joining our team from now on, I expect you to be respectful towards him.”

You bowed again giving a small “pleased to meet you”, thankful that Ukai spared you of making a fool out of yourself by tripping over your own words. After that you got a short introduction from everyone, trying your best to remember their names immediately but that wasn’t really your forte so you just told yourself you’d pay attention to the others calling each other’s names.

After that you warmed yourself up to join them in the actual training. During that time you couldn’t help but listen in on some of the conversations as there wasn’t much else to focus on.

“Isn’t that a girl? Why is she training with the boys?”

“Yeah, wouldn’t it be better if she just joined the girl’s training?”

“I heard that she’s actually a he.”

You didn’t pay attention to who was talking – they seemed not to be part of the volleyball club – but it sure hit you in the most vulnerable of all places. Just until recently you had been playing with the girls from your former school. You actually transferred because, after coming out as trans, you have been excluded from any gendered club activities as the authority was unsure about how to handle a case such as yourself. There were also some actions inside of school which convinced you that your former school was not the ideal place for you to stay at. Not only that but your parents sent you to stay with your uncle – Ittetsu Takeda – because obviously you were ungrateful towards them. Not that you really mind, he’s much nicer and way more understanding – well, still in the process of understanding, but at least he’s trying his best, which was nice.

“It’s weird calling someone with boobs ‘he’.”

Your jog slowed down, your mind trying to focus on suppressing tears that threatened to appear. Taking a deep breath you gained some tempo again before taking a stop next to the coach again.

“I think I’ve warmed up enough, am I supposed to just… join them?”

Ukai nodded so you continued to walk towards the line waiting to receive their spikes. In your old team you didn’t really have a set position, rotating it around inside the group as the sport wasn’t taken too seriously. Though opponents were cautious of you every time you went out on an attack you had to admit that you had more fun in a defensive position, receiving the ball was one of the best feelings you could imagine while playing on the field. But when it came to skill you would probably be considered an all-rounder.

It didn’t take long until it was your turn to hit the ball – two setters being present making progress like clockwork. You got a pass from a grey haired boy, Sugawara if you remembered correctly. It was easy to remember him, he just had a sweet aura about him which made it easy to remember his name. The moment the ball hit your hand and the ground on the opposite side of the net immediately after, silence befell the room. The Libero didn’t manage to get the ball by a hairs width. Turning towards the setter you nervously played with your hands.

“Could you try to pass the ball a little higher next time? I might not be the tallest person but I can jump pretty high.”

After a brief silence a smile flashed on his face – which you immediately returned -, giving you a thumbs up. “Sure!”

Moving out of the way a boy about your height came up to you, looking at you with bright and sparkling eyes. You didn’t remember his name but you were quite sure he was a first year.

“Can you show me how you did that? When did you learn that?”

You were stunned into silence for a second, wondering what he could possibly mean. He must’ve meant your spike, right? You’ve noticed that they tended to spike their balls quite far which you didn’t – a force of habit since in your old team your teammates struggled to get the ball higher up most of the time. Rubbing the back of your neck nervously you chuckled a bit.

“Well, my old team didn’t really have a setter that managed to keep the ball at the perfect height every time so I had to adapt, I guess? So when I jump too high I just try to get the ball on the other side as close to the net as possible. It took me some time not to touch the net in the process but with enough training it just happens less frequently.”

“Woah, that’s so cool! Do you mind staying after training so you can show me, please?”

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

After that you got quite comfortable with Sugawara’s sets which never seemed to falter. It finally felt like you were playing volleyball with people who shared the same enthusiasm as yourself which was a nice change. After a few more turns everyone was gathered again. The coach announce that you’d be playing one set before packing up for the day.

The opposing team consisted of Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Kinoshita, Hinata, Yamaguchi and Nishinoya. You were teamed up with Asahi, Ennoshita, Narita, Kageyama and Tsukishima. To be honest, you really hoped you’d end up with the setter you’ve been training with already but that wishful thinking should apparently be denied. You wondered if the coach did it on purpose because he noticed you avoiding the other setter until now? Whatever it was there was no time to complain, not that you actually would.

You started in the back left – thankfully not serving the ball as you struggled most with it. You always made little mistakes, if it was throwing the ball too high or too low, but most commonly not noticing that you stepped over the line. Yes, when you hit the ball you usually hit it hard but if it didn’t reach the other side of the net or flew into the out there was no use to it.

The whistle ripped you out of your thoughts, focusing on the game. Yamaguchi had the first serve. It seemed like the ball was heading straight for Ennoshita next to you but in the last moment it drifted off to the side towards you. Noticing this you quickly sprang into action, diving for the ball. Despite managing to touch it there was no way of it to be saved, the first point going to the opposite team. That had to be a jump float serve! Impressed you looked at the boy breathing a quiet ‘woah’ before resuming your position. Ennoshita turned toward you as well.

“You react quick, I’m sure we’ll get the next one!”

You smiled at him, nodding.

The next serve was easier to react to as Yamaguchi failed to hit the ball right, resulting in Ennoshita successfully receiving. Next thing you knew your teams setter passed the ball towards the guy with the ponytail in front of you, spiking the ball with confidence only to be received by Daichi.

“Good spike!”, you cheered the guy in front of you, receiving a shy ‘thanks’ in return.

The other team struggled a little with the received ball, the second touch not reaching the setter resulting in a successful block from the tall blonde with the glasses, earning your first point. Encouraging words were exchanged and your team rotated its players clockwise, you now standing in the front left, ponytail standing to your right and Ennoshita behind you, Narita having the next serve. His hit seemed a little unstable but ended up rolling over the net, earning you yet another point.

His next serve seemed more intentional but was easily received by Daichi once more, passing the ball to Sugawara who set the ball nicely for Tanaka, but the tall blonde managed to touch the ball taking a direct course towards Narita once again who passed the ball towards your setter. You took the opportunity to run forward, either receiving the ball or distracting the other players – you assumed that he’d play to the ponytail guy again since the middle blocker was smaller by a few heads and thus less likely to block the ball. Sugawara, opposite of you, kept you covered, not joining the small redhead. And just as you predicted ponytail got the ball. What took you a little by surprise was the height the first year student reached, he was easily on par with you. But that didn’t help as a point was scored nonetheless.

The game went on, a head to head game. Your team had 12 points while the opponents had 14. You had scored none of the points, the setter not having played once in your direction. It bugged you, yes, but you also tried to be mindful. You’ve never had any interaction with that guy so it would be hard for both of you to get used to one another, possibly making you lose more points than you would gain.

You nervously fiddled with the volleyball in your hands. It was time for your first serve and your gut was telling you something really bad was about to happen. You’d definitely screw this one up. You really wished you’d practised your serves a little more now. If you didn’t jump you probably wouldn’t be able to score at all because you knew from experience that your standing serves always ended in home runs. Gulping down whatever was blocking your airway the moment you heard the whistle you took a deep breath before throwing the ball. Taking a few quick steps you jumped, dread filling you the moment you hit the ball with all of your might. It wouldn’t be high enough.

Oh no.

A loud thud was heard and the person in front of you stumbled a little forward, holding the back of his head before falling to his knees. Panicked you rushed towards the setter, the looming silence making you wince with every squeaky step you took.

“I’m so, so incredibly sorry! Are you okay? I didn’t mean to hit you like that-”

You cut yourself off the moment the dark haired setter whipped his head around and glared at you. Taking a few steps back others rushed to his side, helping him up asking if he was alright. Reassuring them that he was alright everyone went back to their positions, albeit reluctantly. And not like this situation was humiliating enough already, the moment the coach spoke up you really wanted to be swallowed by the ground.

“(y/n), you stepped over the line.”

You felt your soul leave your body, Asahi, now to your left tried to assure you that everything was alright. But for the rest of the game you didn’t dare call out for the ball once, not having scored once in the end despite winning by a narrow margin. You really feel like you’ve fucked up this one.

After cleaning up you quickly threw on a sweater to keep yourself warm. You were about to call out to you uncle to wait for you when something quick made you stop abruptly. It was Hinata.

“Do you still don’t mind showing me that spike you did? It was really awesome and I want to see it again!”

_______

a/n: thank you for reading! I’m not sure how i want to continue this, i might just turn this into one overall thing with no focus on one character (i’d probably write something similar for other schools as well) or i might split off from here so there would be different ‘routes’ (also including other schools! as in karasuno reader and kuroo, bokuto, akaashi or whoever)

feedback regarding this would be nice :0 have a nice morning, day, evening or night <3

[cafeteriaoats]

alright, ask and ye shall receive. here’s the first of a series of really annoying essays i’ve written about some of my favorite symbols:

Some may say that Newsies is a show about resilience; found family; the power of the underdog; a bunch of fruits doing crazy jumps and tapdancing. This is all accurate and I refute none of it, and I also encourage those who watch musicals as a fun escapist pastime and just wanted to see some little guys talk funny to keeeeep scrolling. Yes, some may say Newsies is a show about a lot of things, but this is an essay about Newsies most prevalent theme, contained in its most obvious theme: escapism.

Our hero, Jack, spends the course of the show searching for an escape from the uselessness he feels -- he becomes the “face of the strike” essentially to get his ticket out, to feel bigger than the box he’s been pushed into. The opening sets this theme immediately -- the sun rises on Jack escaping into his delusional fantasies about Santa Fe; a Santa Fe he has never seen, and knows almost nothing about. Obviously, the Santa Fe we’re talking about in this song isn’t a real place; it’s whatever the person talking about it needs it to be. Santa Fe has appeal for all the Newsies because it’s whatever they want; friends, safety, a home, etc. Jack and Crutchie are both orphans, and this is discussed during the song (“I ain’t got no folks nowhere”; “I don’t need folks, I got friends”), so it makes sense that in their minds, Santa Fe is a world of smiling faces (“The minute that you get there, folks will walk right up and say: welcome home, Son, welcome home to Santa Fe”). For Crutchie, Santa Fe is also a normalcy he would be able to feel if he wasn’t disabled (“Watch me stand, watch me run”). However, what pulls these disparate hopes together is the fact that they will be together -- that they can find this hope, this escapism, in each other. In a metaphor that must have been used in at least 30% of Newsies fan posts, Crutchie essentially becomes Jack’s Santa Fe.

Santa Fe Reprise is nowhere near as hopeful. This is interesting because it is the emotional low of the show, set immediately after the emotional high (King of New York). Jack has lost Crutchie, and more painfully, he has lost his Santa Fe. Without Crutchie, no victory will be the same, and he will never find the joy he dreamt of in the opening. Jack no longer dreams of the smiling faces in Santa Fe, or the beautiful scenery, or the good times, or any of the fantasies from the opening. This Santa Fe is a desperate last call -- and here we come to possibly my edgiest hill of all time, but one I will nonetheless die on. The Santa Fe reprise Santa Fe is death -- there’s no other way of looking at it. If Crutchie is to die in the refuge, then Jack wants the same for himself. “Guys are fighting, bleeding, dying, thanks to good old Captain Jack / Captain Jack just wants to close his eyes and go” cannot be interpreted in any other way -- nor can “let me go somewhere they won’t never find me”.

To recap: Santa Fe is always an ideal state for Jack, and in the opening, this ideal state is one full of hope and love. In the reprise, without Crutchie, the ideal state is death. And this never necessarily resolves itself -- what happens is much more bittersweet. After the events of the show, Jack can never necessarily return to the Santa Fe of the opening. He has essentially grown up and recognized his responsibility as the father of the Newsies -- the person they turn to. In the course, as all people must, he has let go of his escapism, his fantasy, his defensive mechanism of becoming someone else. He stops needing to go to Santa Fe, and New York becomes his home -- because Crutchie and the rest of the Newsies are in it. His life doesn’t need to be perfect -- he just needs his family in it.

Also, Jack and Crutchie are gay. Have a nice day.

[sepublic]

Belos the ‘Humble Messenger’?

           A thought just hit me, but if Lilith deflects some of the blame of her own actions onto Belos, by claiming she’s just enforcing his will, that he’s making her do this, in addition to considering what HE would do and how that influenced her initial choice to curse Eda…

           …What if Belos is the same way, but with the Titan? Especially with how he constantly insists that he’s just a Humble Messenger for the Titan… It’s not BELOS that’s choosing to hurt people, it’s the Titan! Blame the Titan, don’t shoot the messenger… I have to wonder if Belos is also being a coward like Lilith in this own way, absolving himself of what he’s done wrong, of his own mistakes in carrying out the Titan’s alleged will. Like Lilith, Belos could be operating on a “I was just carrying out orders” type of defense here.

           And given what his VA said about Belos being ‘misunderstood’ in his own way… Maybe that’s what he meant? Belos thinks there’s nothing he can do, he’s resigned himself to his own powerlessness because he really thinks he lacks the ability to make a change. That he really isn’t enjoying this… Though of course, like Lilith or Amity when she cut ties with Willow, he still bears some responsibility for the consequences of his actions, as cruel and unfair as it is. And with Belos, I imagine he bears WAY more fault and guilt for carrying out the Titan’s will, than any other character has for doing what others tell them to… Belos might think he’s choosing the path of least resistance, that he’s actually being helpful by implementing the Titan’s will in the least bloody was possible; Which, when you consider his implied genocides, says a LOT…

           But it also calls into question if Belos even IS communicating with the Titan, or some impostor, or if this really is the Titan’s will, and not the influence of Belos trying to make it be the leader and role model he WANTS it to be, the way Simon Laurent from Infinity Train felt with Grace, or how Jasper tried to mold Steven Universe into the Diamond she wanted him to be; It’s that desire to have someone who validates you, who takes responsibility for you, who comforts and knows exactly what to do… While always enabling any decisions you make and encouraging them, because you can do no wrong; You’re just doing what THEY’re saying, you have no blame in this!

           Maybe Belos is outright influencing the Titan, or at least interpreting its will in a very specific way, and has deluded himself into believing he’s carrying out exactly what the Titan is saying… Even if that isn’t exactly what it said, because Belos secretly knows what the Titan really meant and that’s why it was so vague, because of course Belos will understand the intent! So when the Titan tells him to spread the knowledge of magic, Belos interprets it very specifically as ‘Establish a Coven System’, because surely that’s what the Titan specifically meant…

          It’s like how some alleged ‘Christians’ interpret the Bible in a way that’s very tailored and convenient to their own pre-existing beliefs and bigotry, to justify their own terrible actions. And given the comparisons between Belos and Western Imperialism by fans… In addition to Dana Terrace mentioning how she was once put into a headlock by a nun, and the way some Chrstians appropriated and assimilated pagan cultures (again sounding a lot like what Belos does)… And maybe Belos has a deluded perception of reality, of projecting of what he thinks is best, and believing that everything his role model does is actually indicative of and in support of his own beliefs. Kind of like what I speculated with Boscha, thinking Amity’s actions as a bully were validating to her own cruelty, when really Amity was horrified at the kind of person she was becoming, and did NOT approve of Boscha whatsoever!

          Maybe Belos has a warped sense of identity, because he’s so convinced to himself that everything he does is the Titan’s will, he assumes the Titan’s feelings are the same as his (“The Titan will be pleased!” A triumphant Belos cries upon receiving the portal from Luz), etc. And Belos has trapped himself in his own fantasy, into thinking that he basically IS the Titan because everything he does is surely a reflection of what it believes, because it obviously agrees with him 100% and he completely understands it in a way that nobody, not even the Titan, does… Because Belos KNOWS better, he knows what’s good for the Titan, just as Odalia and Alador claim so for Amity, or what Lilith used to for Eda!

          Which, this just leads to a lack of identity, no sense of self on Belos’ behalf, just as he inflicts upon others with his cult-like indoctrination… Just as Lilith might question who she is without the Emperor’s Coven, perhaps Belos, deep-down, doesn’t know who he is without the Titan; A question any parasite would ask, because Belos can’t stand on his own. He has no will nor convictions of his own, he can’t rely on just his own reasoning to justify himself because he lacks that confidence… So Belos seeks someone who CAN justify what he does, and then warps them to fully fit that idealized image of his. And so just as Lilith realizes that she doesn’t really understand Eda, that she hasn’t figured out that Eda secretly wants to join the Emperor’s Coven but just needs time or a cursed curse to join… Belos will realize that he didn’t exactly understand the Titan at all, and probably was outright influencing and projecting onto it!

           This is going to lead to a lot of confusion, self-doubt… Plenty of denial, certainly. If Belos did accept this reality, this truth, and discern his delusions from what actually is… Then I could see him recovering in a way similar to Lilith, and maybe the two could find a very unusual solidarity in this, while awkwardly naviating how he used to be her feared boss and influenced Lilith herself, threatened her… And yet now she’s way past him in terms of growth and sense of self. Maybe Belos HAS considered that he’s been wrong about the Titan’s will in the past, but he doesn’t want to admit/explore this possibility, because he’s already done so much….

          Maybe he’s just doing what seems to be the least challenging for him, maybe Belos has legit fooled himself into thinking he too is at the Titan’s whim and mercy, he feels bad for his victims, but what else can he do? He’s already sacrificed too many people by this point, he doesn’t want to invalidate those deaths by not going through with what he (and the Titan) planned… He’s not brave enough to do the right thing and Belos is convinced that even if he tried, he wouldn’t accomplish much. To him, he’s most at his useful as a ‘humble messenger’, probably… Belos could be a lot like Krika from Bionicle, perhaps.

          Belos is certain that what the Titan has decreed WILL come to pass, it makes no difference if he or someone else carries out its will- So Belos can’t really be blamed for getting it over with, because someone else will… Or he CAN be blamed, but so what? Maybe Belos thinks he’s the best candidate to do what has to be done, the only one willing to do the dirty work, kind of like Thanos from Infinity War. Maybe he ironically thinks that only HE is the one who is acknowledging this cold, hard truth of the universe, and actually doing something about it; While everyone else is simply in denial…

          If only people could just understand what he’s doing, where he’s coming from, that Belos takes no pleasure in this, he’s trying to make this as smooth and painless as possible. It really, truly DOES hurt him to sacrifice others like this for his goals… And while he ultimately disagrees with such people, Belos can still admire witches like Luz, as he used to be like them, and he finds an almost admirable youth and naivete to their traits that reminds him of his young, foolish self, so wide-eyed and really believing it could all be that black-and-white and simple, that good will prevail… Belos can’t totally blame them for thinking that way, because he made the same mistakes, so he doesn’t have THAT much of a place to judge; But he still has a tiny place, because at least Belos had the ‘wisdom’ to realize the truth and move on.

           Of course, Belos doesn’t see what the Titan or the world is secretly getting at, because there’s nothing there. The Titan is indeed being fully transparent about what it has to say, it isn’t secretly ‘testing’ Belos’ faith… He is acting VERY contrary to a lot of people and things, but just as some deluded, alleged ‘christians’ believe that their god is secretly testing their faith, offering them temptation and false evidence to convince them to go off the right path, when really they just need to keep being stubborn and blocking out all other noise… Maybe Belos is just like THAT.

          It’s like Luz saying that she’s picking up what Amity is putting down, even though as far as Amity can tell, she’s not putting down anything (in addition to maybe being autistic and thus not understanding this kind of saying), she wasn’t suggesting that Luz challenge Boscha to a grudgby game; Except, Belos took it WAY worse, and WAY too far to an unimaginable extent… Again, as a dark parallel to her, despite being associated with a much blinding and radiant Light than Luz’s.

[drinkthehalo]

Macro perspective on each Lymond book

I've been listening to the Lymond Chronicles audiobooks, which has given me a different perspective than reading them. With audiobooks, you’re less inclined to stop and dive into the details, to look up an interesting word or obscure historical fact; instead you get swept along with the larger arc of the book.

So, I thought it would be interesting to look at what each book is about from a macro perspective.

Spoilers for the entire series follow.

The Game of Kings

In genre, it's a mystery told in a historical adventure style; it asks the question "Who is Lymond?" and gives us a ton of contradictory clues, then finally reveals the truth - in a psychological sense by stripping away Lymond's defense mechanisms and revealing the human being underneath, as he breaks down in the dell, "the guard was down... every fluent line and practised shade of Lymond's face betrayed him explicitly"; and in a narrative sense via the trial, which examines each "clue" we received throughout the story and tells us what it really meant.

Thematically, it's mainly about "serving honesty in a crooked way" - that morality isn’t simple and that sometimes you need to break the rules to do the right thing.  Nearly all Lymond’s acts are apparently bad things done for a goal that is actually good. We see the theme also in Will Scott (who learns that the world is more complicated than the "moral philosophy" he learned in school) and the various characters who help Lymond, breaking the rules of society by aiding a wanted outlaw (Christian, Sybilla, the Somerviles). 

It is also about the balance of looking out for self vs the obligation to the greater society - Lymond is not completely selfless (after all, he is back in Scotland to clear his own name), but when forced to choose, he always chooses the greater good above his own goals. He is contrasted with Richard, whose great mistake is to put his obligations to Scotland at risk in pursuit of his personal vengeance, and Margaret Lennox, who is purely and grotesquely out only for herself.

The historical context is part of this theme, as we see the various border families playing both sides between England and Scotland, with the heroes being those who ultimately stand up for Scotland, even as we understand that some have no choice but to profess one thing while doing another.

Queens Play

In genre, it's a spy novel; thematically, it's about what Lymond will do with the rest of his life. The question is asked explicitly several times (most obviously, "You have all your life still before you." / "The popular question is, for what?") It's important that Lymond loses his title at the start of this book; he has to figure out who he will be without it.

The main characters all represent possible paths Lymond could take -

O'Liam Roe, who sits back and laughs at the world with detachment, while abdicating all responsibility to use his mind and position to change the world for the better.

Robin Stewart, who loses himself in bitterness about the ways the world has been unfair to him, and in fixating on how he deserved better, fails to take any action to improve himself.

Oonagh, who works passionately to change the world for the better, but whose ideals have become corrupted because she has attached herself to a leader who is more out for himself than for their cause.

And of course Thady Boy and Vervassal, two extremes of himself that Lymond tries on, and (by the end of the series) must learn to reconcile.

The recurring imagery of the first half is the carnival, the masks, the music, the parties, and our hero in danger of losing himself amidst the debauchery. In the second half the imagery every time Lymond appears is of ice, the ultra-controlled, hyper-competent version of Lymond at risk of losing himself by denying his artistic soul. (There’s a wonderful essay here that explores these motifs.)

In the end, Lymond comes to the conclusion that he must not withdraw into detachment or bitterness, that he must find a way to make a positive difference in the world, but that he also must not attach himself to a powerful figure who may be more out for themselves than for Scotland (ie, his refusal to attach himself to Marie de Guise). This sets up the creation of his mercenary army in the next books, as a way he can exercise independent influence in the world.

The Disorderly Knights

This book couldn't be more relevant to the world today. It's a portrait of cynical hypocrisy in pursuit of power; it lays out step by step the tactics of propaganda and manipulation used by despots to build up themselves and tear down their rivals: pretend to be pious, accuse of others of your own crimes, tear down straw men instead of engaging in real debate. It tells us to "look at his hands"; what matters is what a leader actually does, not what he professes to believe.

It shows us how leaders use charisma to manipulate, and, in showing the battle between Gabriel and Lymond for Jerott's loyalty, shows how Lymond takes the harder and more ethical path, by refusing to use his charisma to seduce (a lesson learned from his experience with Robin Stewart) and instead guiding Jerott to come to his own conclusions by means of rational thought instead of hero worship.

At every level the novel advocates for tolerance and internationalism, and against petty sectarianism, as Lymond questions whether the Knights of St John are really any better than the Turks, and as he tries to get the Scottish border families to abandon their feuds in favor of the greater good of the country.

In terms of genre, it’s a pure adventure novel. I never get bored of the masterful action sequences with the battles in Malta and Tripoli, and the extraordinary duel at St Giles in the end. (Also in terms of thematic imagery, there is some crazy S&M shit going on in this book, with Gabriel and Joleta's sadism and Lymond's self-sacrificial masochism.)

I love Disorderly Knights so much. It is nearly perfect - well structured, thematically coherent, witty, fun, breathtaking, and heartbreaking.

Pawn in Frankincense

In genre, this is a quest novel. In several places it explicitly parallels The Odyssey.

In theme, it explores -

Do the ends justify the means? How much sacrifice is too much? Lymond gives up his fortune, his body, and his health; Philippa gives up her freedom and her future; we are asked often consider, which goal is more important, stopping Gabriel or saving the child? We even see this theme in Marthe's subplot, as she gives up the treasure, her dream to "be a person," to save her companions. Perhaps the most telling moment is right after Lymond kills Gabriel; despite all his claims that Gabriel’s death mattered more than the fate of the child, he’s already forgotten it, instead playing over and over in his mind the death of Khaireddin. If you do what is intellectually right but it destroys your soul, was it really right?

The other big theme is “nature vs nurture.” What is the impact of upbringing on how people turn out? In its comparisons of Kuzum vs Khaireddin, and Lymond vs Marthe, it seems to fall firmly on the side of nurture.

It’s also a kaleidoscope of views on love, with its Pilgrims of Love and their poetry, and the contrasting images of selfless, sacrificial love (Philippa and Evangelista for Kuzum, Salablanca for Lymond, Lymond for Khaireddin, perhaps Marthe for Lymond as she helps him in the end) with possessive, needy “love” (Marthe for Guzel, Jerott for Marthe or Lymond, arguably even the Aga for Lymond).

This novel is also a tragedy. Its imagery and the historical background complement the themes by creating an atmosphere lush, beautiful, labyrinthine, overwhelming, and suffocating.

The Ringed Castle

I have to confess this is my least favorite, in large part because I find the historical sequences (in Russia and in Mary Tudor's court in England) go on way too long and have only tangential relationships to the themes and characters.

It seems to be primarily about self-delusion as a response to trauma.  Lymond spends the entire novel trying to be someone he isn't, in a place he doesn't belong, because he is too damaged to face reality. (His physical blindness as a manifestation of his psychological blindness; the sequences at John Dee's, surrounded by mirrors, forcing him to see himself.) 

Lymond convinces himself he can build a wall around his heart to block out all human connection, that he can be a “machine,” but despite his best efforts, he cares for Adam Blacklock and develops a true friendship with Diccon Chancellor. And of course, by far the most important moment is after the Hall of Revels, when Lymond's heart unfreezes and he suddenly sees one thing VERY clearly. (And then tries, desperately, to escape it.)

The only reason I can think of that the book lingers so long on Mary Tudor (so boring omg) is the parallel with Lymond, her false pregnancies as a manifestation of her desire to see the world as she wants it to be, and her failure to see reality as it is. Ivan of Russia also is a parallel: delusional, unable to trust, and dangerous. Their failures, and the failure of Lymond's Russia adventure and relationship with Guzel, tell us that you cannot hide from reality forever.

The book spends so long painting the backdrop of 16th century Russia that it makes me think that Dunnett got too caught up in her research and needed a stronger editor, although there is also a parallel with Lymond in the idea of Russia as a traumatized nation struggling to establish itself, and of course, Lymond subsuming his need to deal with his own issues into a goal of building a nation.

It's also about exploration, about the intellectual wonder of discovering that there is more to the world, as we learn about Diccon Chancellor and the Muscovy Company. It’s wonderful imagery, but I struggle to how this fits coherently into the overall theme of the novel, and am curious how others reconcile it.

I like the idea of this book more than the reality. If you’re going to do to your hero what Dunnett did to Lymond in “Pawn,” there has to be consequences. But hundreds of pages of our hero in such a frozen state is difficult to read.

That said, the Hall of Revels is one of the best things in the series, and I’ll always love this book for that.

Checkmate

Checkmate is about reconciliation of self and recovery from trauma, as Lymond is forced (kicking and screaming) to accept who is and what he's done, and to allow himself to love and be loved. Philippa is his guide, as she discovers the secrets of his birth, understands his childhood, hears his tales of all the terrible things he's done, and loves him anyway. As far as genre, this is definitely a romance.

There are villains in this book (Leonard Bailey, Margaret Lennox, Austin Grey) but they're all fairly weak; the true antagonist is Lymond himself. From the beginning, he could have everything he needs to be happy (he's married to the woman he loves, and she loves him back!); his true struggle is to stop running from it (by escaping to Russia or committing suicide) and to break through his own psychological barriers enough to allow himself to accept it.

The primary parallel is with Jerott and Marthe, who also have happiness almost in their grasp, but never manage to achieve it.

The heritage plot looms large and is (IMO) tedious; it's so melodramatic that it takes some mental gymnastics to get it to make thematic sense to me. It ultimately comes down to Lymond's identity crisis and childhood trauma. His “father” rejected and abused him, so he based his identity on his relationship to his mother, but his suspicion that he is a bastard means he lives in terror that he doesn’t really belong in his family and that, if his mother isn’t perfect, he is rotten. (I love him but, my god, it is juvenile. The only way I can reconcile it is that his fear about the circumstances of his birth is really just a stand-in for his self-hatred caused by his traumas.) He also continues to struggle with his envy that Richard was born into a position with power and influence that Lymond has spent the past six books struggling to obtain, and that Lymond’s terrible traumas (starting with the galleys) would not have happened if he had been the heir. The discovery that he actually IS the legitimate heir is what finally snaps him out of it, since his reaction is to want to protect Richard, and this also reconciles him to Sybilla since protecting Richard was her goal too.

There are some other parts of this book that I struggle to reconcile (Lymond's inability to live if he can't have sex with Philippa; the way the focus on heritage seems to undercut the nature vs nurture themes; that no one but Jerott is bothered by Marthe's death, which undercuts some of the most moving moments in "Pawn”; and I mostly just pretend the predestination and telepathy stuff didn’t happen). On the other hand, I do sort of love the way this book wholeheartedly embraces the idea that there is no human being on earth who will ever be as melodramatic as Francis Crawford.

In terms of the historical elements, in addition to providing the narrative grounding for the character stuff to play out, it sets up the idea that Scotland has troubles coming up (the religious wars, the betrayal of the de Guises) and that Lymond needs to go home, let go of France and Russia, and focus on Scotland where he belongs. I’m sure there is also some political nuance in the fact that our Scottish hero, after spending so much time and energy in France, ends up with an English wife.

The conclusion in the music room is perfect - it brings us back to the amnesiac Lymond who innocently played music with Christian Stewart, to Thady Boy whose songs made the cynical French court weep, and fills the “void” Lymond described to Jerott where there was no prospect of music. The aspects of himself are finally reconciled and he has a partner to share his life with.

I am curious what others see as the macro / thematic big picture meanings of these books. :)  And if anyone can find the key to make “Ringed Castle” and “Checkmate” make more sense to me...

[kingbennyboyyy]

benny’s RWBY rewrite: the white fang

so this is something that’s been on my mind for a while, and i’ve been trying to formulate my thoughts about it. the white fang in RWBY, as it stands now, is a really poorly thought-out approximation of the black panther party, an actual organization that fought for the equal rights and the equal treatment of black people in the united states. the black panther party’s actions have been long pathologized by white society and academia at large, and have been falsely contrasted with the ideals and teachings of MLK. the false dichotomy of violent and non-violent action is reductive at best, and blatantly racist at worst. while there is a whole fuckton to be said about the real-life consequences of these discourses, i’d like to focus on their impact on the writing of RWBY. i’d also like to talk about how i’d change how the white fang looks in order to make things a little less uncomfortable.

content warning for real and fictional racism, antiblackness, violence against marginalized people, and discussions of white supremacy under the cut.

so, the white fang. the RWBY wiki describes the group as “ a Faunus organization in Remnant. Founded following the Faunus Rights Revolution, the White Fang was initially a peaceful activist organization created to improve relations between Humans and Faunus and improve the civil rights of the latter.” more concisely, i would describe the white fang as a faunus rights activist group, whose modes of operation have changed over time. within the story, after the peaceful leader ghira stepped down, the faction as a whole took a notable nose-dive into violence. but why did this happen? why was the white fang written like this?

first of all, all of the following talk comes from the subjective opinion of one black genderqueer writer. i am not the voice of the entirety of my community, and i can bet that there are people who disagree with me. i’m just here to say my piece.

that said, i think that the white fang’s writing grossly misunderstands what oppression looks like to marginalized people. the RWBY writing team obviously wanted to handle racism in some kind of way- they wrote racism into the story. however, it’s incredibly clear that most of the writers don’t really understand how deeply racism runs in given societies. the oppression of the faunus is clearly mirroring the oppression of black people in the united states, and yet there’s little to this oppression other than surface-level discrimitation. ghira’s direction of the white fang doesn’t seem to understand that personal prejudice is a very small aspect of the continued oppression of the faunus. alarmingly, it’s only when “radicals” such as sienna khan and adam taurus take control that actual, structural avenues of racism are acknowledged. this has several issues.

- whether the RWBY writers intended this or not, attributing the acknowledgement of actual systemic issues to violent radicals is inherently a really bad call. the dismantling and destruction of racist structures is the baseline of most avenues of anti-racist thought, but by only assigning these beliefs to people like adam “kill all humans” taurus, you’re telling the audience that only people like adam “i’m gonna kill all my ex’s loved ones b/c she hurt my feelings” taurus think that these things are a reality. make no mistake, institutional racism and structural violence against marginalized people is a thing. by giving these ideas to violent actors, you’re sending a really shitty message. 

- another thing to note is the role of fear in the white fang’s activity. blake is quoted as saying that under adam taurus, people only pretend to respect the faunus because they’re afraid of the white fang. this is also bad. there is an actual line of racist thought that thinks that people who just want equality are a bunch of thugs using intimidation tactics to get special treatment, and by affirming this in-canon, you’re giving credence to these beliefs. in addition, adam’s literal desire to put humans in cages and make them go extinct is also an actual white supremacist talking point. actual fucking white supremacists go on about how the white race is going extinct as a means to manipulate otherwise well-meaning people into committing acts of violence against marginalized people. but RWBY says, “no, the white fang actually wants humans to be wiped off the face of the earth.” i shouldn’t have to tell you how buck fucking wild this is. 

- there’s also the role of violence in activism. the black panther party has long been attributed with senseless and anger-fueled violence against white people, but this assessment of the party is completely false. in truth, the arming of black panthers was a direct response to overpolicing and police violence against black people. the black panther party advocated self-defense, and acted as its own protective force for black americans. they had guns so that they could protect themselves from the cops, who were assaulting and killing them in absurd numbers. if the RWBY writers wanted to draw parallels between the white fang and the black panther party, they could have very easily done so by actually doing their research.

the question becomes, is it at all possible to have members of the white fang as actual villains within the RWBY universe? i’d say that it is possible, but it has to be done very carefully. there’s several things that have to be kept in mind here, and the entire understanding of faunus oppression has be to restructured in order for this to work. i’ll outline what i would change below:

- firstly, there needs to be more evidence of faunus marginalization past the surface level. this could be evident in a phethora of ways, anywhere from the trend of faunus hiding their animal traits being more common (an important thing to note is how accessible passing as a human is to the faunus), to beacon actually having much more bias than humans are aware of. blake highlighting these biases would be extremely helpful in establishing how deeply anti-faunus sentiments run. the only racists being cartoon bullies and shady billionaires rings too closely to the sentiments that white people have about racism. this is also a comparatively minor gripe, but the whole “becoming the monster people think they are” mask thing is just so... dumb. there are legitimate reasons for faunus to hide their identities during protests, and pathologizing this is just such a shitty thing to do.

- next, the white fang as a whole cannot be a terrorist organization in actuality. people can believe that the white fang are a bunch of terrorists, sure, but this can’t be the truth. for example, it would make perfect sense for weiss to think such things. her being the heiress to the schnee dust company, being fed stories about scary faunus with weapons trying to hurt her and her family would make sense. but the stereotypes humans have about faunus activism can’t be true. in addition, there should at the very least be more than one faunus activist party. the fact that there’s only one in the entire continent of remnant is so fucking stupid. you don’t think that some group of people would be dissatisfied and go and do something else?

- adam and sienna cannot be the leaders of the entire white fang. i’m sorry, but it’s just way too fucking easy for racists to say “oh, the entire thing’s just an excuse for (insert minority here) to ransack property and hurt people!” ilia could have been promoted after ghira stepped down. it would be interesting to see how she uses her ability to pass as human to actually make some changes for the people of menagerie, and the power structures that led to its creation. sienna has the potential to be someone disillusioned by strictly pacifist ideals of ghira, but she can act more in accordance to the actual black panther party, advocating for self-defense and knowing one’s rights. the arming and training of faunus, as frightening as it may be to the humans in power, cannot and should not be depicted at the beginnings of terrorism. there’s potential for actual discussion of the effectiveness of pacifism and respectability politics in activism, but all of that was overshadowed by the gross villification and oversimplification of the white fang.

- finally, adam. i think that adam is able to remain mostly the same, with a few adjustments to the environment around him (along with the previously discussed changes). i don’t think that adam should be the only person whose violent oppression is readily visible. the trope of the oppressed person going “mad with vengeance” is just adding fuel to the fire of the belief that those who speak out against their oppression should be put down. as satisfying an arc blake and yang beating the shit out of blake’s abusive ex was, it did just kind of feel like two people being like “yeah! violence wrong! pacifism good!” the unification of faunus SDC workers shouldn’t be attributed to adam. the advocacy for faunus to be able to defend themselves shouldn’t be attributed to adam. adam needs to be labled extremely clearly as an outlier, and even then this is risky. i think that adam’s group should be miniscule in comparison to the other sects of the white fang, and i think it would be interesting for his dealings with roman and company to be based on the distribution of android soldiers. adam shouldn’t come from a good place. yes, he suffered atrociously at the hands of his oppressors, but as a character and as an element of the story, he should be uniquely evil. for the few actual people in his group, he should rule through fear and violence, and defectors should be common. his brand of violence should be unique: rather than actually aiming to make changes to help the faunus, he should be solely focused on revenge. blake’s leaving him makes more sense in this way: rather than her leaving because of the inherent evil of violence, she should leave him because of his twisting the good intentions of the white fang into a self-serving cruelty. this all has to be contrasted against the well-intentioned actions of the actual white fang. the terrorist logo that appears universally on white fang regalia should either be solely adam’s, or his group should have a different name entirely.

so there. there’s my thoughts on the white fang and the stuff that the RWBY writers were trying to do. what should be taken away from this discussion is this: it is possible to write racism into a fantasy story without it being an absolute garbage fire, but it takes work. it takes understanding racism, the fact that it’s not just cruel people, but people complicit in the structures that uphold it. it takes being mindful of actual racist talking points, and making sure that your work doesn’t play into them. finally, if you’re going to make a main antagonist a member of the fucking civil rights movement, please for the love of god make it abundantly clear that they aren’t the villain because they want equal rights.

i’ve read so many stories where this defanged, platitude-ridden form of activism is treated as the only valid form of activism. in reality, it’s the form that people in power are most comfortable with. people approve of the idealized version of MLK because his activism was one that made white people feel good. the MLK we read about in schools is an illusory one. the real man kept a gun on him because he knew that as much as white media would have you believe that people liked him, he knew that people still wanted him dead. 

[vampirepiggyhunterdefensesquad]

Compliments 4/5

Zim had landed on another bush, and not a very comfortable one. He griped loudly to himself about the leaves and branches and Earth, absolutely refusing to think about what had just happened

for all of two minutes. Then Gaz's blushing face slipped into view in his mind's eye and it was all over. Zim groaned outwardly, but he understood well enough now that he wasn't going to be able to stop for a while. Separation was likely the ideal way to hurry up and be done turning it over in his head.

Even so, Zim found himself trailing after Gaz a few blocks. She could take care of herself, obviously, but just in case someone tried to hurt her in her weakened state... Maybe if he involved himself, she would--

No!! This was exactly what she had told him to STOP doing. Who CARED about some earth human girl?? Even if she DID have very sparkly eyes and a soft looking face that went red when he looked directly at it and hair he wanted to feel under his sharp fingers. Even if she did obviously want him to try. Even if she was incredibly powerful and scary and picked him up and threw him and that was, however insulting to his ego and bruising to his actual limbs, impressive for a human and a young one at that. Zim contemplated the image of Gaz throwing someone else like that-- preferably Dib-- and felt another pleasant-yet-horrible rush of heat in his guts. Disgusting. But it made him feel giddy.

Zim watched from a distance as Gaz walked up to her door and slammed it shut viciously. At that, he turned on his heels and stalked home, grumbling about bushes some more. He would have to put something on his skin to make it stop burning; the tiny cuts were incredibly unpleasant.

He found that when he let his mind drift to her, the pain faded slightly. But this focus was unhealthy, had to be bad for him. A small part of him was rioting whenever he allowed himself to contemplate her, focus on her too closely. It was almost a betrayal of everything invaders stood for, wasn't it??

"Nice antennae."

So why couldn't he bring himself to care???????

Zim reached his door. He hadn't realized how fast he'd been walking, and glared at it. He lived close to the Membranes, too close, much too close when it came to the Dib-filth. But it seemed a bit further when he thought about how Gaz lived there too.

. . . . Dib lived there, too.

Zim clapped his hands over his head and stifled a moan when the full implications hit him like a truck. This was the worst thing that could have possibly happened.

So it would be wonderful if his stupid, ANNOYING brain could stop acting like he had just had the best day ever.

Gaz's words had been angry, defensive. But her silence had been different. Her pause had said far more than her words did.

It would have been easy, easier than easy, to tell him to just stop. That she was annoyed and that was it. When she did eventually say as much, it was only after that conflicted silence. . .

She wanted his attention. Her blushes and reactions to his eyes made this much clear to him: Gaz wanted him to look at her just as much as he wanted her to look at him.

And the idea of looking at her had never been so appealing.

Zim nearly ran into his own front door-- he'd forgotten it was there. He nearly ripped the thing off its hinges in his haste to get inside.

He would see her tomorrow. That was fine. He wasn't going to get obsessed with anyone--especially a HUMAN-- especially after something so small.

Zim walked inside and rode the elevator down to the lab and sat down in his chair.

I want to see Gaz.

Zim stood up and walked out into the room with all the pods with human test subjects. One of them held a random person he'd snatched from the street a few evenings ago. She was sound asleep-- he'd been conducting tests to see how weak and fragile humans were when faced with emotionally taxing TV shows-- given how upset and unable to function properly GIR was after a series he loved ended, Zim was certain there was a method of world domination in television yet.

He kicked the glass of the tube, making the human stir, but not wake fully.

"HEY."

Kick.

"HEY!!!!!!!!"

The woman's eyes popped open. When her eyes fell on Zim, disguise-less, they widened in panic and she began banging on the glass, trying to shout for help.

Zim groaned and pressed a button to drain the fluid from the tube instantaneously. The ugly human's legs gave way and she collapsed at the bottom.

"Don't start screaming, nobody can hear you anyway," Zim said disgustingly, as if it was obvious. "Annoying, unhelpful, and, worst of all, annoying."

The human breathed deeply and lifted her head. Finally, her voice returned, and she looked. . .  confused.

"You. . . . you said 'annoying' twice."

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!!" Zim hollered, slamming his hands against the glass. The woman fell backwards, but seemed to be calming down at Zim's childish outburst.

"Why am I here?"

"Listen, HUMAN. I normally would never stoop to the level of asking for help from your kind. . . but i believe this newest development requires some in-person questioning. You, you filthy, lucky human, are being given the chance to earn your freedom from my HHHORRIBLE LAIR. So listen carefully."

The woman nodded quickly. She seemed to be looking around carefully, taking in her surroundings, but she wouldn't be able to escape so it really didn't matter.

"You were once a smaller, younger version of your now old, ugly self, yes?"

The woman blinked. "I'm twenty four."

Zim squinted. "Twenty four. . . . . years? Old?"

". . . yes?"

Zim smirked. "Have you have retained a good memory of your youth, however long past it may have been?"

The woman was trying to brush her dripping, dark purple hair out of her eyes. "Yes," she said, in a resigned tone.

"Good. Are you in a relationship at the moment?"

The woman's head popped up and her eyes went wild. She fell backwards again, tripping over her own feet.

"CALM DOWN!!!! It's just for REFERENCE," Zim spat. "I have less than no interest in your disgusting, hideous body. I'm here to destroy your planet."

"That's comforting," she said sarcastically, turning around entirely. "No, I'm . . . not."

"Were you ever? And have you, despite your repulsiveness, had anyone ever. . . interested in you?"

The woman barked out a laugh. "Yes. I guess."

"So how did they fail???" Zim slammed his hands on the tube again, but this time it was out of desperation. "What mistakes did they make??"

The woman, apparently having not found an exit in the other direction, turned back to shoot him with a glare. "Why."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY????" Zim's face flushed. "i MEAN-- EHHH-- YOU are in no position to ask ME ANYTHING, HUMAN!!”

"Wait. You're not. . . Why did you kidnap me?" she asked, completely confused.

"What? You were right there." Zim blinked.

"Wh-- you-- he didn't--you just happened to-- oh God, that's my luck, isn't it?"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!! How did your previous suitors fail???"

"Well, one of them tried to kill me."

Zim tilted his head. "And. . . . you didn't like that."

She just stared.

"Ok, no killing. No attempting killing. Got it!!!!!"

"So, you're trying to get a human girl to like you??" The woman looked him up and down.

"STOP!! STOP THAT IMMEDIATELY!!!" Zim waved his hands in front of the glass. "I said NOTHING about myself. I'm TRYING to conduct RESEARCH here!!!!! What else did they do???"

"Listen, alien-- what's your name, kid?"

"I AM ZIM." Zim announced.

"Zim. If you like someone, you can't interrogate someone you kidnapped for help. What if I just. . . intentionally sabotaged you or something?"

Zim, whose antennae had lowered, popped back up. "I wasn't going to let you go until it worked," he announced. "PF! What do you think I AAAAAAAM? an AMATUER???"

The woman smiled wryly and took a seat, leaning against the back of the tube casually. "What's she like, Zim?"

"Scary," he answered immediately, dropping to sit as well. "Also she thinks I'm 'cool.'"

"If she thinks you're cool, why are you asking me for advice? Hell, just ask her out. And let me go first."

"No. Also, that didn't work."

She squinted. "You asked her out?"

"Yyyyyyyyyyyy--not exactly?"

The woman gestured for him to continue. It was a testament to how shaken up Gaz had made Zim inside that he did.

. . . .

Zim leaned back on the outside of the glass tube, letting his antennae droop. ". . . And now I have to WAIT a whole DAY before I see her again!!"

"Why's that?" The woman examined her fingernails.

"What?"

"What if you went to her house and asked her out properly?" she suggested. "It sounds like you led with accusing HER of having feelings when in reality YOU were the one who liked HER."

"RIDICULOUS. Invaders need NO ONE. I would never like such a pathetic earth-human."

"Okay, so you don't want my help--"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO 'ASK HER OUT'?" he screeched. "Human rituals are NOTHING like Irken romance!!!"

She turned her eyes to him again. "What? What's your alien romance consist of?"

"WE DON'T HAVE IT!" Zim wailed, slumping down further.

"Uh-huh." She tapped her chin with her finger. "Go to her door. Knock. When she answers, apologize for yelling at her. Tell her you like her, and tell her you want to spend time with her and look at her."

"NO!!"

"What the hell-- why--"

He turned around, glaring her down. "SHE WON'T. APPRECIATE SUCH A GESTURE. The Gaz-human is intelligent. She is far too smart to want such a. . such an UP FRONT method!!"

"Well, you'd be surprised." The woman turned away again. "Listen, are you gonna kill me if you get rejected?"

"Absolutely."

"So ask her nicely." From what she'd seen, she'd be able to escape if he stayed away for long enough. And this girl might be strong enough to incapacitate the alien--or, y'know, she might say yes. From the dazed, lovestruck way Zim talked about her, she might be just as violent and dangerous as he was. "And, uh, make sure you remember I'm the one who helped you."

"Yes, yes, yes. . ." The cogs turning in his brain were almost visible. "So. . . I tell her. And then she will blush. And agree to spend more time with me."

"Ideally."

"All right." He announced. "I am going."

"Wait, bring her something-- but not something too big!"

"Big?"

The woman contemplated. "What kind of candy does she like?"

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I have questions about trigger warning terms, can you help? Grayson # 12 or any time a character is hit by their family, should it be tagged as domestic abuse or any other term? Also like in Grayson, those uncomfortable sexual situations are under sexual harassment right? Not assault, because that means something else? Sorry, it's not my first language and I need to put warnings before discussing comics, closest I can get the better. Honestly every comic could have abuse warnings.

I mean, there are no hard and fast rules, which is part of what complicates things here. Domestic abuse would work, certainly, but its not necessarily what I would go with as domestic violence just as often carries connotations or impressions of partner on partner violence rather than between siblings or parent and children....which, given the nature of a lot of ships in this fandom, IS something to consider, I believe.

Personally, I would go with something like “Sibling Abuse” or “Parent/Child Abuse” because the more specific the better and its like there’s no reason not to be. Also, it can only help matters to see terminology like that become more widespread and commonplace, to combat the instinctive pushback a lot of people have, like “siblings can’t abuse each other, that’s just fighting” - like, no. Sibling abuse is definitely a thing, and the more its just matter-of-factly used as a description where the description applies, the less easy it is for people to contest it, or even just overlook it entirely in their own writing.

Specifically, what makes Grayson #12 definitively an instance of abuse that should not have been written IMO, let alone validated by so many fans, is not simply Jason punching Dick. I mean, that’s not ideal, but some people are always gonna go well boys will be boys and sometimes brothers fight and blah blah blah. I mean, I have issues with all of those takes because lol toxic masculinity and also ‘sometimes brothers fight’ usually refers to like....aggressive amateur wrestling which is still not quite interchangeable with just hauling back and sucker punching your brother in the face. But whatever. Sticking to that example specifically, the thing that pushes it definitively into the abusive category is the fact that it was framed contextually by both the issue AND fandom as a kind of....penance. A just punishment. 

It was NOT brothers fighting, it was one brother taking out his hurt on the other in a way that definitively should NEVER be approved of in a family, and with the implicit EXPECTATION that he wasn’t going to have to defend himself from any follow-up attacks from Dick in response to what he did. It was clearly written as though Dick was just letting it happen and okay with it happening, that ‘he deserved it’ and its extremely upsetting that even people who push the idea of a kinder, happier, more functional Batfamily in fics and such still found justification for cheering Jason on in this moment. Punching your brother as punishment for upsetting you. That’s defensible....why?

And of course, I don’t say any of this to vilify Jason. I don’t hate his character for doing it, I hate that his character was written doing it in the first place. I hate that so many people see so little problem with him doing that they have him do it again and frequently in fanfic. Honestly, its just as damaging to Jason’s character, because hello, he’s an abuse survivor himself. 

People don’t seem to understand just how much male abuse survivors struggle with the stigma of it our whole lives, where the SECOND people find that out about us, we can often visibly SEE them regard us differently, take extra note of every single outburst of ours, treat us as though us snapping and actually harming someone else is an inevitability rather than a possibility, because we all grow up surrounded by nothing but narratives that spread the myth of all abuse victims eventually grow up to become abusers, its a vicious cycle. 

No, in reality, many of us work really fucking damn hard to never become the people who hurt us, to never do to others what was done to us. Just because we’re angry or frustrated or have a lot to vent about doesn’t mean we don’t know how to keep ourselves from actually doing harm to others, and that’s why its particularly grating how often people like to point to our anger as being somehow inherently different from their own, simply due to information we voluntarily offered up about ourselves.

And yes, this obviously has a lot to do with my fixation on Dick’s temper and how its regarded, but just as much with how matter-of-factly its treated that of course Jason is casually violent with his brothers and nobody thinks twice about it, that’s just how he IS. 

NO.

That’s how people are CHOOSING to write him, because of their own blindspots in regards to abuse and the many realities and nuances and dynamics of it. Abuse is just as damaging and carries just as much trauma and impact for abuse survivors as rape does for rape survivors, even when there is no crossover, but there is a very big tendency to just....not regard that as the case at all. 

And there’s a very big, very real disconnect between the way people write Jason with a focus on his childhood history with abuse and how that impacted him…..and then just…not connect this at all to writing him being casually violent even with loved ones and friends, as though…..its not like its treated as if its an inevitable extension, its more just like, people completely FORGET that aspect of him when writing him being casually physically violent as though this wouldn’t have any bearing on how he views his own actions and interactions with others in light of that, y’know? 

And everyone who writes him this way and doesn’t think twice about it because oh its just Jason, that’s just how he expresses himself, like, is doing a huge disservice to a lot of the very same stuff they unpack in their own stories about his history of childhood abuse when they DO focus on it. And that’s very…..bewildering, to be honest.

As to the second question about the sexual harassment scenes in Grayson, no, I think you have the right idea there. Think of it this way: sexual assault typically describes unwanted physicality, the other person forcing body-to-body contact in some way. Sexual harassment typically describes unwanted situations, the other person forcing you into scenarios or situations where you’re forced to put up with unwanted sexualization of yourself or others (usually the self though). So most of what happened in Grayson I personally would term sexual harassment rather than assault, but that doesn’t make it ‘better’ - there’s a tendency I think to view sexual harassment as being ‘sexual assault-lite’ and that’s like….no. 

I hate bringing any kind of ranking into it at all, but its not even that so much as its apples and oranges….they describe two entirely different scenarios, and sexual harassment can be plenty damaging in its own right, often due to its frequency of recurrence ‘making up’ for it not being as intensely damaging in a single situation as an instance of sexual assault, perhaps.

So for instance, in Grayson, all the times Dr. Netz like, was very implicitly depicted as groping him during his physicals and medical exams, especially during the times when on top of that, she was verbally objectifying him in narration that made it perfectly clear she knew exactly what she was doing and exactly how uncomfortable she was making him (also emphasized via the facial expressions he was drawn with)…like those were sexual harassment, no ifs, ands or buts. The harasser was taking advantage of a situation they knew Dick had no way of gracefully exiting and had to put up with and endure because its not like a spy agency likely had much in the way of an HR department that was open to listening to claims about this shit….and even if there were, his undercover op demanded he make as little waves as possible. 

Which even without Netz knowing that latter part….she still knew from the second she capitalized on his vulnerable position with him a) distinctly uncomfortable as a result and b) making no actual move to stop it (since there weren’t really any available to him)….like, the first time was ‘testing the waters’ kinda, and the second the harasser determined they could get away with it without consequence, it became a frequent, regular occurring thing, something both parties were more or less matter-of-fact about, though each instance only made the harasser bolder, and the victim, Dick, more resigned to his vulnerability in that position and even LESS likely to attempt to enforce personal boundaries or bodily autonomy, as they weren’t being respected as it was already.

I hope that makes those distinctions easier to conceptualize, and sorry for taking so long to get back to you on this!

[angelinarecs]

Updated Pacific Rim Recs

Organized by pairing (or gen) and then alphabetized by title. Summaries (which have been copied from their respective stories) and descriptions are provided. Notation at the end of the description indicates if a story is completed or a WIP.

Gen

Take Up Your Spade and Break Ground - Tendo Choi is a 911 dispatcher because it pays well and because he’s damn good at it. He doesn’t take the job with the expectation of finding a family – but sometimes the people who call end up up meaning a hell of a lot, and Tendo’s never been one to stay detached. Friendship/Family. Tendo POV, very well written and the plot is original. A great AU overall. I really loved following Tendo and his relationships to the Shatterdome people through his work at 911. One-shot.

Hermann, Newton Friendship

All the Colors of the Rainbow - The first thing Newt noticed about Hermann was that he was a neat freak. Well. Okay. Maybe not a neat freak. Maybe just an ordinarily-neat person who didn’t like kaiju guts in his work space. Sharing a lab was going to be a challenge … Drama. Am I reccing this because Newt is autistic? Yes, yes I am. Also, these drabbles do wonders at showing the day-to-day struggles of Newton and Hermann sharing a lab. One-shot.

Hush Now - Hermann is upset and Newt tries to cheer him up. It either goes horribly wrong or horribly right- he’s not sure. Hurt/Comfort. Hermann gets an unfortunate phone call from his father and Newt is there to pick up the pieces. Drabble length, but still sweet. One-shot.

Not Unwelcome - Set directly after the events of the movie. Hermann leaves the celebrations to give himself some space, away from the loud people clapping him on the back, away from the happily drunken crowd, and, maybe, a bit of space away from Newt. Naturally, the moment he disappears, Newt goes after him. Minor angst ensues. Friendship/Angst. Cute, fluffly, indulgent, everything you want out of a feel-good story. An enjoyable read. One-shot.

Tröstung - When Hermann is three years old, his mother gives him a stuffed lamb. Angst/Friendship. Following Hermann through the years in his interactions with his  comfort object (an adorable sheep names Oskar). The premise and structure of the story really does a nice job at providing snapshots in Hermann’s life and development as he grows into the brilliant scientist he is. The story also provides a brief insight into Hermann and Newt’s relationship. One-shot.

Hermann/Newton

a ghost will be here in my stead - Hermann is feeling under the weather. Hurt/Comfort/Fluff. Post Uprising. Hermann falls ill after pushing himself too far to save Newton from the Precursors. Newton picks up the pieces. One-shot.

A Hand That Hold No Weapon - On their way back to the Hong Kong Shatterdome, Newton helps Gottlieb adjust to the after effects of drifting together. Drama/Hurt/Comfort. A much needed story after Hermann and Newton drift. Fun story, okay writing. One-shot.

A Momentary Lapse of Reason - It’s Newton’s fault, really. That Hermann is stuck on the floor of the Kwoon, feeling more than a bit useless and broken. Fluff/Hurt/Comfort. Hermann pushes himself too hard trying to physically work out his self-loathing. Newton is there to pick up the pieces. One-shot.

A Not so Simple Cold - Herman is sick. Really sick. He, however, is choosing to ignore how sick he is which Newton does not agree with. Fighting ensues but some realizations about their feelings for one another also come to a head. Fluff. One of those sickfics that’s not particularly original nor well written, but definitely scratched the hurt/comfort itch when needed. One-shot.

A Warm and Gentle Tug -  Hermann has a fear of having his blood drawn due to the fact that he always passes out or gets sick while it happens. This time around however, Hermann takes Newt along with him to his appointment to help ease him. Hurt/Comfort. Not the best writing here, but the relationship is fun. Mainly reccing because I have the exact same problem getting my blood drawn. One-shot.

Battered and Bruised - When Hermann comes to Newt’s defense, it doesn’t end well. Hurt/Comfort. Short and somewhat sweet. Newton and Hermann try to fix each other up after getting into a fight at a bar. One-shot.

Blue All Over - The worst one was recorded on a cold dreary day in the autumn of 2021. Hurt/Comfort. One of their many, and possible one of their worst, lab accidents. Herman is a self sacrificing idiot and Newton is at least fast on his feet. One-shot.

Collision - A kiss gone wrong. Romance/Humor. Hermann and Newton being dorky and clumsy. Cute, but short, story. One-shot.

Dehydration Sensation - Hermann doesn’t handle heat well. Hurt/Comfort. Hermann doesn’t take care of himself in the middle of a heat wave and Newt once again has to pick up the pieces. Including obstinate, delirious, and dissaproving Hermann alongside exasperated Newton! One-shot.

Homeostasis - The K-science laboratory stands on its own plane of existence; life within its concrete walls runs in parallel to life in the bigger world of the Hong Kong Shatterdome. Yet even here the laws of physics apply. Whenever Hermann’s body isn’t failing him, Newton’s mind is on the verge of breaking. Hurt/Comfort. The scientists have a rough day in the lab. I really enjoyed the contrast of the mental and physical given that each Hermann and Newt suffer from their own handicaps. Seeing the ailments as both a foil and a complement to each other was a very compelling look into their relationship. One-shot.

Incessant - Hermann’s physical limitations frustrate him to tears. Angst. Newton tries to help Hermann after a fall, Hermann is frustrated that his body won’t cooperate with anything. Poor Newt has to make this situation at least bearable for both of them. The selling points for this story is mostly domestic science boyfriends and an accurate depiction of the frustrations that come with being disabled/handicapped. One-shot.

Keep Your Mouth Shut, Keep Your Guard Up -  Hercules Hansen does not understand why Hermann won’t just tell him why he got in a fight with the new J-Tech. It’s obvious who came out worse for wear. Hurt/Comfort/Romance. Hermann just wants to protect Newton, they just keep getting into trouble. So wonderfully in character. I love these two. One-shot.

Laundry Day - “I must have almost popped the question a hundred times, but the timing never seemed…right, you know?” “And you decided nearly killing me in the middle of laundromat was the Platonic ideal of romance, did you?” Aka the one where Hermann launders Newt’s jacket and finds rather more than he bargained for. Hermann/Newt. Romance/Humor. This story is just so cute. I love how the everyday interaction between Newt and Hermann turns into such a touching/adorable moment. One-shot.

Oh, They’re Gonna Have to Fight Me - The Drift makes them realize they belong together. Now that they cancelled the apocalypse, there’s nothing left for them to do but live out their lives in happiness. That is, until Hermann realizes there’s more to the nightmares that Newt keeps having. (In which they don’t spend those ten years apart, and Hermann is there to figure it out and save Newt when the Precursors start taking over him.) Fluff/Angst. They win the war, get married, and live happily ever after until they don’t. If you were anything like me, the sequel really disappointed on the whole “haven’t seen you in ten years” bit. This is the fix-it that we needed for our science husbands as Hermann has to navigate his relationship with Newt while realizing exactly how compromised his husband truly is. Complete.  

Pride - Newmann oneshot. Newt takes Hermann on a date to his first LGBT parade- fluff through and through, except for a little reference to acephobia. Romance/Friendship. Am I reccing this entirely because Hermann is asexual? Yes, yes I am. Also features cute relationships, Newton coming up with a bunch of “queer” orientated pet names for Hermann, and some good points about sexuality. One-shot.

Somewhere, Something - Newt and Hermann start dating in the rush of change the end of war brings. Each of them is frightened that the other doesn’t realize what he’s in for. Hurt/Comfort/Angst. The science boyfriends help each other out as they grow closer in their relationship. I really appreciate the take on both mental and physical health issues. Two-shot, complete.

strange perceptions - The most essential question to pose, obviously, is why is Hermann presently finding himself contained in a shut-down emergency decontamination unit with only his lab partner as company, having forgone not only the process of actual decontamination but also the process of being noticed by anyone at all. The answer is frustratingly straightforward: because Newton. Angst/Hurt/Comfort. In which feelings are shared and realizations come to. I really love the dialogue, character introspection, and use of flashbacks in this story. I also love the fact that it literally took getting stuck together and completely helpless to force them into a conversation about feelings. One-shot.

Strong Enough - the Precursor in captivity, nobody knows exactly how to get Newt back to his old self, if that’s even possible. But Newt was always stubborn, and damn if Hermann would ever give up on him, or, worse yet, let him give up on himself. Emotional Hurt/Comfort/Angst. Hermann is going to get his husband back, even if he has to fight the entire Shatterdome, the alien possessing his love, and his own nightmares to do it. Another precursor!Newt fix-it, but we need all of those that we can get because I want my science husbands to end up happy. One-shot.

Taken Care Of - Newt helps out Hermann when he’s having a bad day. Hurt/Comfort. A short and fluffy slice of life story that follows the companionship of Newt and Hermann through a rough day. One-shot.

The Ghost and Dr. Priestly - Newt is pulling an all-nighter in the university library studying for a chemistry test, when he begins to hear strange sounds. Good news: it’s not a ghost. Bad news: he only finds out after giving his lab partner, Hermann, a mild concussion. Drama/Romance/Hurt/Comfort. Newt is an unbelievable idiot and poor Hermann suffers the consequences. Or, Hermann is concussed and is probably not thinking properly, but he still kisses Newt even after the daft man nearly brained him with a book. One-shot.

Tricks and Treats - Seven fics for the seven days of Gottbleed week (Oct. 5th-11 2015). Each story: 1. Is Gottbleed 2. Fulfills an OTP prompt from tumblr 3. Is newmann and 4. Is Halloween related. Trick or treating, costumes, haunted houses, ghosts, too much candy - and much more! Cute, funny, with a side of seriousness. Humor/Drama. Hermann and Newton make such a fun couple and these somewhat Halloween themed shorts perfectly show off their characters. Complete.

You and Your Dog Teeth - Desperate to find ends and solutions, Hermann wears himself out to exhaustion looking for answers, especially his already lame leg. Being around as his usual working late night companion, it’s up to Newt to help take Dr. Gottlieb home. What seemed entirely like a normal night only ends with two scientists realizing there’s a lot more between them than they thought. Angst/Humor. Such a fun story, this has a good balance between emotional tension and moments of hilarity that only the K-science boys can fully pull off. The awkward approach to romance in this story works very well for the characters and give an authentic feel to the whole thing. Two-shot, complete.

You Know I Love You: I Wrote It Down - Drs. Geiszler and Gottlieb’s relationship goes back almost ten years. We know this because the paper trail goes that far back, too. Romance. Where do I begin with this story? It’s so well done and amazingly written. I can’t get enough of it. The idea to follow the relationship of Hermann and Newton through their paper trail was brilliant and well executed. The sheer nerdy romance is amazing. I don’t even care if it has smut in it, it’s still well worth the read. One-shot.

[lily-of-the-eyrie]

🎓🔍 Scene Commentary: Colonel Edition ①

Welcome to the first in a series of posts about taking a closer look at the Colonel’s scenes, in which I’ll be analyzing all the sections in which he appeared to:

get a clearer idea of his character, and 

maybe squeeze just a liiittle more content for HCs etc.

For this post, I’ll be doing Sequence 3-1 “The Color of Right”. As you can expect from the Colonel’s first appearance, this scene’s straight up packed with key details about his character—I’m talking mannerisms, value systems, ideals, and more. 

Highlights! 　❗️The Colonel’s Negotiation Skills 　❗️The Colonel & Templar Beliefs

I’m essentially writing out my thoughts on what’s happening on screen as they go, so I highly recommend keeping a Rogue playthrough open in another tab for maximum clarity. 

🌟 Thanks to the-colonel-who-cares for assisting with the beta reading! 

This post has a lot of text and a lot of screenshots, so the rest of it goes under the cut.

[SQ3-1] The Color of Right

— Part I: First Meeting — Shay took down the gang members in the Greenwich HQ, and met the Colonel for the first time.

　The scene opens with Prosperity and Decay, an ominous and rather foreboding track which does a great job at underlining this scene's uneasy calm and tense undercurrent. Although Shay's opinion of the Colonel, whom he just met, did get better towards the end of the segment, at the beginning he's still very much unsure of what to make of the man.

　We start with Shay feeling alert and suspicious: upon noticing the Colonel, he narrows his eyes at him and his hand goes straight to his pistol. It's pretty clear at this point that he's not going to be instantly cooperative.

　Now the first thing the Colonel does to deal with this is raise his hands, which, together with his telling Shay to be at ease, and that they're friends (promptly name-dropping the Finnegans to make sure that his point gets through quickly), says something very, very clearly―"I'm NOT your enemy". Then, and only then, does he introduce himself.

　The Colonel follows up by thanking Shay for taking down the criminals, but Shay's first and almost reflexive response to this show of gratitude is, surprisingly, contempt. He combatively, condescendingly questions the sincerity of the Colonel's concern. Watch his tone and body language as he spits on the very idea that the Colonel could even actually feel anything about the city and its people. The way he blinks and throws out his arms questioningly before saying "What do you care?", and the contemptuous tone with which he says that line, is absolutely dripping with poison.

　And in this moment, we catch a glimpse of Shay’s infamous troublemaker side. Here he is, raring to go—a commoner challenging not just any redcoat, but a goddamn British military officer right in his face. This is the Shay that gets into bar brawls, the one who can't stay out of fights for long; this is the Shay who has zero innate respect for authority, and this is the Shay who can and will fearlessly call bullshit on anybody, even his "social betters", if he thinks they deserve it.

　Now to be fair to Shay, he’s not just looking for trouble out of boredom. We know there’s no love lost between him and the redcoats, judging by how he treats them from the very first scene. They were his enemies, plain and simple.

　However, in the wider scope of things, his behaviour isn’t anything particularly unusual—historically speaking, during the period Rogue is set in, there's a lot of tension going on between the Irish and the British, since the latter is pretty much on an all-out bender to subjugate the former. Needless to say, this creates a lot of bad blood between the two sides, so Shay’s reaction, while quite aggressive, isn’t really out of place considering the social mood of the time. 

　But one thing is clear―Shay is straight up looking for a fight, and he was no pushover; he's totally ready to back up his fighting words with an actual fight. He would have no qualms (and might even rather enjoy) socking a redcoat in the face...or worse. Their shared acquaintance of the Finnegans is probably the only thing that reined him in for now, and had that the risk of causing his caretakers further trouble not been on his mind (he certainly seemed to have momentarily forgotten it when he taunted the Colonel). Hell, he might've even thought of roughing him up. I mean, he's a trained Assassin―he's got good reason to believe that he could 100% beat the stuffing out of this guy AND escape afterwards. 

　Now watch the Colonel totally avoid falling in line with Shay's predictions by simply not fighting back. Normally, you'd expect any other redcoat, common soldier or otherwise, to whack Shay right across the face to teach the rude, uppity brat a lesson. And he’d have a pretty strong case in his defense too, since it was undeniably Shay who "started it". 

　But here's the point: the Colonel isn't just any other redcoat. Not only did he accept Shay's pointed accusation (which would've been doubly hurtful if he did truly care about the townspeople), he did so with grace; you don't see him squirm, you don't see him trying to deny or make excuses for his colleagues' behaviour. Neither did he get defensive and try to justify their wrongs. "Not getting reactive" seems like a simple action, but it suggests the presence of a significant amount of self-control―and, in extension, control over the situation. He didn't get angry, or violent, or emotional, which would surely have led to a confrontation where everything spins out of control and would surely end with one of them bleeding out on the ground; instead, he was able to keep Shay talking, and also gain a foothold in the argument by introducing the idea, the possibility, to Shay that whatever "the redcoats" had done, this redcoat in front of him intends to do differently. 

　Of course, Shay's not stupid or gullible, so he doesn't immediately trust this weird fellow who had not only completely circumvented his open invitation to a fisticuff, but also actually continued to try converse with him to boot. As far as he's concerned, the logic of "redcoats=bad people=enemies", an observation doubtless fed by years of experience that agreed with that statement, still held strong. Even so, the Colonel managed to get Shay, who is suspicious as heck and obviously not a big fan of anyone with his profession, to at least let him try to prove himself different.

　Okay, now let's take a look at the Colonel's side of the conversation, which plays like a masterclass in conflict resolution. After explaining who he was to take the edge off Shay's defensive stance, and taking the brunt of Shay's scorn head on afterwards, we see him accepting the fact that yes, a lot of his comrades have indeed "been less than helpful", and it can't be helped that Shay feels animosity towards him. 

　Now look at his body language here―he averts his eyes when speaking of his less compassionate colleagues, and his talking speed noticeably drops, like he's looking for the right words to say. Shit, I'd even go as far as saying he looks visibly sad about this―watch his eyes, the crease in his eyebrows. But far from being a sign of refusing to look at the unfortunate truth, this comes across as a very empathetic gesture―it's less "yeah, I guess so...I guess //shrug" and more of a "yeah, I know―what a shame, isn't it?" The slight, almost imperceptible nod at the end of it just seals the deal―this is the Colonel telling Shay that he isn't about to run away from the charges Shay had brought up against him. 

　But he wasn't just going to take it all sitting down, and not do anything about this injustice whose existence he just told Shay he's well aware of―he will, he tells Shay, take a different approach. If his comrades are going to abuse their authority and mistreat the common people, he claims, then he won't do the same thing. Now clearly this isn't something Shay hears very often, much less think possible, so naturally he's rather suspicious of the Colonel's intentions. His first instinct would've been that if this guy isn't in it as a "landlord", oppressing the townsfolk for his own gains, then well, he's probably after something else just as selfish. So this is where the Colonel's words again pulled the rug right out from under his feet, because, going entirely in the opposite direction, the object of his suspicion instead said the most selfless thing―that he cared for the welfare of the citizens.

　Okay, here comes the most important line in the Colonel's primary characterization. Questioned on his motivations by Shay, who doubtless wondered why the Colonel would take the trouble of going against the party line (a thing that Shay, who freshly broke away from his Brotherhood doing just that, may even have a personal interest in knowing), he answered:

"I care."

　First, let's talk about the delivery of this line (or, well, phrase) itself. It's short, it's sweet, it gets straight to the point―in two words, the Colonel posits that he does what he does out of a highly personal sense of duty to look after the people, plain and simple. It's only after a pause to let this sink in that he elaborates on the statement by saying he wants safety and prosperity for New York's citizens, but even then it's all very bare-bones, and its straightforwardness is supported by his tone, which sounds like the very embodiment of someone saying something just like that―no stumbling, no doubt, no hesitation. With no flourish to it, it doesn't look like he's trying to make a show of flexing his moral muscles here, either. He answered Shay's grilling with an answer that rings like a simple truth, and that gives the line the impact it needed to make an impression on the still suspicious Shay.

　Now let's look at the gestures: speaking of his wishes for New York's welfare, he throws his gaze down the street and lightly spreads his arms, motioning to the city as a whole. That, and his following expression, gives him a very vulnerable air. He'd stated his thoughts on the issue, and laid them out for Shay to judge. These are the actions of a man who has nothing to hide, and the effect is instantaneous―Shay still hasn't been completely won over, but there's a considerable drop in the combativeness of his behaviour from that point onwards, and he's now more open to the idea of keeping up a conversation with the Colonel.

　With Shay still skeptical but more importantly somewhat calmed down, the Colonel now has a fighting chance in trying to get Shay to at least allow him the opportunity of proving his sincerity.

❗️The Colonel’s Negotiation Skills

　 The Colonel’s methods here reminded me of crisis/hostage negotiation techniques, which generally places a huge emphasis on staying calm, building rapport with an uncooperative/emotionally wrought individual, and working on convincing the other guy that they can trust you enough to help them resolve the situation in a less destructive way. Of course, their first encounter is more of a standard argument between two parties who are supposed to have a lot of mutual antagonism than a hostage situation, but I did find it interesting that one key phrase that comes up a lot in the context of such negotiations is that the ideal resolution to the conflict is gaining what they call “voluntary compliance”—that is, getting someone to do what you want them to do without forcing them into it—from the target. I’m sure the Colonel most likely didn’t have any formal training in that craft, but the idea that you can actually codify what you need to do to win someone’s trust does add a more sinister sheen to his intentions. 

　On my end, I think the Colonel’s being honest with a lot of things here, and professional negotiators do tend to stress that their techniques need some actual sympathy from their end in order to work at all, but for people who want to write an unapologetically manipulative Colonel, I think it’s a interesting topic to look into. 

― Part II: Freedom From Want ―

　The Colonel attempts to prove his "noble words" immediately by putting them into practice, and instructs Shay to use the gang's stolen funds to renovate an old church in the city.

　The Colonel says what's on Shay's mind, impressing upon the still wary man that he understands what going through his mind―that Shay has no reason to trust him yet. Shay's reply this time is decidedly tame; he's no longer spitting bile by default. Instead, he now asks for more elaboration on the common ground the Colonel introduced earlier: their shared friendship with the Finnegans, whom we know Shay thinks of dearly.

　The Colonel states that his relationship with the Finnegans is tied to the fact that their late son was a subordinate of his. He further extends the common ground by saying that Shay's "much like him", drawing a straight parallel between the two men. Now, you don't make a comment like that unless you expect the other guy to ask why you said that, which is exactly what Shay does next. This can be a normal conversation...or it could be the Colonel deliberately reeling Shay further into that common ground to build a connection. Is this just friendly talk that naturally evolved from Shay's question about the Finnegans? Or is it a calculated move by the Colonel to draw Shay into trusting him more? Or is the Colonel honestly reminiscing about the past, slightly shaken after being caught totally unaware by the fact that the Finnegans had decided to give Shay his late protégé's robes? You decide ;^)

　The Colonel then elaborates on the late Finnegan Jr, painting the picture of a saint―a young man who had cared about the townsfolk, who had wanted to "do good by the people", and wanted to make the world a better place. Now all these are good things, and only it would take quite a disagreeable personality to shit on that at this point. But this isn't just about Finnegan Jr.; by stating outright that all this was a dream both Finnegan Jr. and himself shared, intentionally or not, he's essentially also painting himself in the same light. He might’ve planned that, or he might not, but Shay would likely feel that the Colonel’s a more agreeable person given that he shows great appreciation for the charitable spirit of people like Finnegan Jr.

　Next, here comes the Freedom of Want line. It's really important, so I'll tack the whole thing here:

"Mere survival is not enough. Full bellies, warm clothing... Freedom from want is the greatest freedom of all."

　There are two things I want to talk about when it comes to this line. The first is the nature of benevolence in these lines, and the target of that benevolence. Now, the Colonel made it absolutely clear from the get-go that he isn't concerned only for the wellbeing of what we might call the “important people” (a.k.a. the higher social class, the “somebodies” of society), but all the citizens of the city―this includes the absolute poorest members of the society, who would most likely long for this "freedom from want". Speaking of that freedom from want, how did he define it? He outlines it as having "full bellies, warm clothing"―he's talking about the right to a comfortable life, to the basics of not just barely surviving, but of a life worth living on a physical, biological level. Now this is important because, aside from having a very humanitarian angle to it, it will strike Shay in a raw spot―Shay, who spent his childhood in a harsh environment, who's got a lot of brushes with poverty, reeling from one tavern to the next, feeling like he was never taken care of by anyone. And it's a strong callback to Shay's first accusation to the Colonel―that he was no different from a landlord wringing his poor tenants dry while said tenants are breaking their backs trying to earn just enough to not die of hunger in the streets. 

　The second thing is, of course, the obvious jab at the Assassins―I don't think anyone would deny that the Colonel is a Templar through and through, and, looking for all the world like he'd known and fought Assassins for a long time, he likely already knows their arguments about the concept of freedom by heart. Given that he's likely very much aware of the importance of the word "freedom" to the Assassins, and also that he knows that Shay's one of them, it's highly possible that the Colonel picked his words very deliberately for this line. But I would argue that it's not malicious; I don't think he's sassing the Assassins' ideals here, because he never seems to be the kind of man who indulges in petty sarcasm like that (although whatever he thinks the Assassin brand of freedom is, he very likely disagrees with it, or at least figured the Templar take on it is preferable). What I'd say he's trying to do here is introducing a different sort of freedom―one that he hopes Shay could get behind.

[PS. On a side note, “freedom from want” is recognizably one of the Four Freedoms, which can be rephrased as a “right to an adequate standard of living”. I wonder if it’s a reference... In any case, I just want to say that trying to figure out why this seems to be a topic of personal importance to the Colonel is a great way to start working on his backstory.]

　Shay's sarcastic side then comes out again as he prods the Colonel about his goodwill. On one hand, it's just Shay being Shay―giving people playful grief is just a part of his personality. Under the surface though, we see him buying more and more into the idea presented by the Colonel: when they first talked, Shay ridiculed that very same goodwill, acting as if it's only common sense that it doesn't really exist, but at this point he's like, hey, idk, maybe it could be real this time? You can see him get more comfortable around the Colonel; whatever techniques the Colonel's employing to get on Shay’s good side, it's clearly working.

　Now let's see how the Colonel takes issue with Shay's idea that the relationship between the Colonel and the citizens is that of the governor and the governed. One interesting point here is that Shay is still talking to the Colonel like he's "the British Government", not an individual in his own right. Shay is still subconsciously conflating the Colonel's actions with his party's actions, and this is where it gets very interesting―the Colonel staunchly, flatly, even snappily, denies that claim.

　The Colonel is, generally, a very calm speaker―his tone is very stable, and he talks in a very measured manner. This makes any sudden rise in his voice very noticeable. Listen to the way he says that line:

　"I do not govern, Master Cormac. I merely assist."

　He's clearly put off by Shay's words; compared to his previous line, there's an obvious change in volume and force in his denial, and his voice only returns to normal at the back half of that line. Now I don't know about you, but the speed at which he shot back makes that part sound...unscripted. That's either top-grade acting, or the Colonel’s instinctive response to Shay stepping on his tail.

　As for why this caught my eye, I think it's interesting on two levels―on a personal level as a hint to what the Colonel thinks of his own role in society, and on a grander level as a reference to the position of the Templar Order in the world as an organization.

　Starting with the first one, if the Colonel did in fact shoot this line back reflexively, that's a huge hint to his personality. It's interesting because it's a rejection―he claims to not be a "governor", someone who rules over others and calls the shots only expecting his subjects to obey, but an "assistant", who is here to help others along. By the way he said this line, he might have even viewed this distinction with pride.

　On the greater scale, this line can also take on a shady note to it because "assisting, not governing" is very much in line with the Templar Order's overarching strategy ever since the time of the Borgias (AC:Revelations’s Abstergo Files are a good read for more on this).

　As such, there's a lot of complexity in how we can interpret this bit. Is the Colonel just calling back to his party stance? Or is he, through the actions he carries out, trying to write his own version of how to execute this Templar strategy, in direct opposition to how most of his other comrades (read: ye standard-issue villainous Templar) interpret it? Does he take this line to mean really "helping people out and guiding them to greatness", not just "manipulating them like pawns as part of your personal agenda"? The striking difference here, and whether one believes the gap exists or not, is pretty much what sets him apart from the generic Templar.

　Next, they arrive at the dilapidated church. Watch his phrasing here:

　”We can make it better."

　See how quickly he reels Shay in as part of the team, not an outsider. It might feel a bit sudden given they literally just met, but it’s definitely a good line for building camaraderie—it’s the Colonel quietly stressing that they’re on the same side now.

　He also mentions that urban renewal is “a new science that had already proven effective on the Continent". In addition to showing that he takes the Templars’ focus on being people of science and technological advancement seriously, this bit also gives us a look at his other interests outside his immediate occupation. And from the look of it, it's not the first time he's renovated a building; arranging for resources means that he had to organize the logistics at some prior point, and these materials needed to be sourced, paid for, transported―if you want to get really grounded, this isn't something that easily just happens without a lot of paperwork. Had he built an existing logistics network for this?

　Having fixed the church, he suddenly brings up the topic of watching over New York. Judging by Shay’s outburst of anger towards the “landlords” mismanaging the area earlier in the scene, the Colonel can probably make a educated guess that this responsibility’s something that will resonate with the man at this point.

　He ends their meeting by saying, “after all, a man needs purpose". Now, everybody knows "purpose" is an extremely important keyword in Templar ideology, so I doubt he used this word on a whim here. He's obviously trying to give Shay a sense of direction―a direction that, unsurprisingly, lines up with the Colonel's interpretation of Templar ideology.

❗️The Colonel & Templar Beliefs

　Despite its shortness, this scene does a great job at encapsulating a lot of things about the Colonel’s personality, and his particular idea of what his Order’s beliefs stand for, ie.-”doing good by the people”.

　As in any other belief system, the “true meaning” of the Order’s philosophy is likely something hotly debated among the Templars themselves, much like how various Assassins have incongruous ideas of how their Creed should be put into action (Mackandal v. Ah Tabai, Bellec v. Arno, etc. etc.). Given that the Templars are supposed to play the antagonist in the Ass Creed series, their ideology’s unethical applications inevitably tend to take center stage whenever they get mentioned, but the presence of Templars like the Colonel who register as “good” does bring up the fascinating topic of what Templar ideology looks like when exercised in a righteous way. That said, the Colonel seems to have a strong attachment to the concept of being a charitable Templar, which begs a lot of questions—how does he feel about his less-than-helpful comrades in the Order? The British Rite under Birch, or even the Templar Order in general, likely has a great proportion of dodgy figures in it—how does he deal with having to work with them? Assuming he’s not the only member of the Order who believes that a Templar has the responsibility of executing their ideology in a morally upright way, could there be factions within the Rite that are at odds with each other’s take on their shared belief system? All this would make the British Rite’s internal politics incredibly interesting to think about.

🤔 Extra: Chapter Questions

Okay, now that we’ve reached the end of the sequence, there are several unanswered questions that presumably had crossed the viewer’s mind at some point:

Q1. Why did the Colonel even let Shay live? What’s his game plan? Q2. How much did the Colonel know about Shay's personality/background? Q3. How much of this encounter is staged?

Since these questions need the whole of his cutscene discography to answer properly, I’ll do them in a later post, but they are intriguing Qs to keep in mind as we go! :^D

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

Im going to explain my personality so you can confirm or deny if im an infp 5w6. Firstly I do relate to 5s fear of being useless and incapable. I dont go out of my way to help anyone, but if someone wants me to help them, I will try to do what I can or give them advice. If im not able to help them I say something obvious/vague so it still looks like I know what im talking about. I really hate looking stupid or feeling inferior to anyone. I also hate feeling powerless.[1/8]

I feel so pathetic when I cant do anything to influence something in certain situations. I relate to 7s fear too. I hate feeling any type of negative emotion and I just want to enjoy myself and have fun. I care very much about satisfying my own desires just so I can feel better and not feel like im forcing anything on myself or doing anything unwillingly. I also hate feeling like someone is controlling me or has any power over me. I love having freedom to do whatever I feel like doing.[2/8]              

Restrictions make me angry. Im an observant person and im not great at talking to people or forming any type of relationships with anyone. Its hard for me to find people I can get along with. Im opinionated and I love sharing my perspective on things with everyone to see what they think. I enjoy making people not able to counter my points. It usually means I have evolved my way of thinking or the person wasnt very smart. Im surprisingly good at manipulating people without even realizing it.[3/8]            

           Im extremely suspicious of people so it takes me years to trust anyone. Ive been considered selfish by many people but I think its because theres no way I can possibly understand anyone besides myself. Isnt it pointless and rude to make assumptions about someone? And I would rather not risk being wrong. I am great at predicting what someone will do. With people im close with or have a good understanding of them, I know exactly what they will say and what their next actions will be.[4/8]            

           Im usually never wrong about this. I am confident in myself and I am aware of my limits. I am not afraid to confront someone if I feel like I need to to feel satisfied. I am mainly concerned about how something will benefit me or how I feel rather than how others feel. I can easily come up with a bunch of ideas or solutions in most situations. When I think of solutions I have no problem considering everything detail to find a perfect solution or offer multiple if there is nothing ideal.[5/8]            

           Im a quiet person. I am very competitive when I care about something. Winning is always important to me. I am very pessimistic because I hate disappointing myself. Id rather be surprised than disappointed. I like when things are less organized because of how interesting things can get. If I say something, Im obviously confident in the trueness of it so when someone says I am wrong I get confused/offended and panic until I can convince them I was actually right.[6/8]            

           If im wrong about something I start to question what is actually true and doubt ability to be correct. I am prideful so I hate having to accept being wrong. I seem uncaring to a lot of people but sometimes I do actually care, im just not very expressive of those feelings. I am very defensive of myself. If someone even touches me I am instantly ready to attack whoever it was, I usually dont, I prepare just in case. You never know what can happen.[7/8]        

           I can be very dramatic/panic if I feel completely hopeless which isnt very often but often enough to mention. To avoid overthinking, im impulsive when I make decisions or do something. Thinking just wastes time in some situations. I am considerate of people I care about. Im not afraid of negative things happening because they havent happened yet so why would I be worrying about it. This is a lot so I'm going to end it here. Hopefully I included all of the relevant information about myself.[8/8]            

------------------

Hi,

You sound like neither an INFP nor a 5 and I think you’re an ExTP 7. There is also a decent amount of contradiction in here, which may be situational but might be a sign that you need some more time to get a better understanding of your own personality (as many people do - if you’re in your teens or have low/no Fi, this is very normal).

To start off, you mention that you relate to 7 as well, and you provide considerably more evidence in favor of that - avoiding negative emotion, indulging in your desires, impulsivity, and so forth. 5 is really not indulgent nor avoidant of negative emotions, and 5s as a rule aren’t particularly good with people or manipulation either as they will almost always rather withdraw from the situation. 7′s core fear is to be trapped or deprived and unable to do what they want, and that sounds by far the most accurate. My guess is 7w8 here, and possibly with an 8 fix as well.

There is really nothing that looks like high Fi in this, to be honest. Ti is the function that tends to be motivated and excited by making other people unable to counter their points. High Ti users tend to enjoy arguments for arguments sake (vs. for a specific goal) and Ti-Fe users tend to be more interested in getting everyone’s perspective than Fi-Te users. Fi-doms are also typically not very good at manipulation; when unhealthy they tend to get invested in authenticity and thinking everyone else is fake but they don’t really need the approval of others in the same way, so there’s not that same motivation to manipulate in the first place. On a more positive note, Ti users do like problem-solving and tend to take pride in that ability.

You mentioned you’re a quiet person, but so much of this question is about interacting with other people, being somewhat confrontational, and being impulsive. Overall I think there is very prominent extroverted perceiving and better Fe than Si displayed here - the overall style seems very extroverted to me.

I could go with either Se or Ne as a lot of this was general extroverted perceiving; both can be pretty good at predicting things since Se tends to pick up on many tiny details (ESxPs are among the best at reading people) and Ne tends to think of so many possibilities that the right one is often among them; both often can come up with multiple solutions, and so on. There’s nothing that specifically points to one or the other here for me (and they can be hard to tell apart) so I’d consider your spatial awareness/reasoning and your thought processes in terms of abstract/concrete.