gacy-lajla
.- Gacy -.
16 posts
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gacy-lajla · 3 years ago
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credulous || matsuno chifuyu x baji keisuke
Chifuyu Matsuno was anything but someone���s “loyal pet dog". That’s what he always said, what he believed. In fact, he despised it when people would blindly follow anyone’s command.
Yet here he was, head gently laid in another ones lap. A coarse, yet so gentle hand slowly stroking through his hair in fluid motions, sometimes straying from their path and softly - seemingly afraid to break their poor little thing – stroking over his cheek while whispering sweet nothings.
Chifuyu despised himself for this. How could he, after proving so often to be someone who could fight for his own, be the one to practically melt in the present of someone else? And don’t get him wrong, he surely enjoyed the display of affection wholeheartedly. But the way his heart would simply not allow him to say no to anything was what drove him mad.
“Stay with me tonight"
It was no longer a question but an unspoken agreement. Of course he would stay. Why would he go? It felt nice being in his lovers present.
“I’m hungry, I’ll make us something to eat"
And Chifuyu followed him into the kitchen like a loyal little pup, offering his help as they went. He was denied as ever so often, followed by a gentle pat on his freshly dyed hair, still wet from the previous shower.
Brown eyes looking into his turquoise ones made him shut his mouth, seating himself comfortably on the small counter just across, barely leaving place to pass through. Ever so often Baji would brush against his dangling legs, holding back his complaints. He wouldn’t stay mad long anyway – it was his Chifuyu after all.
“Baji"
No answer. The long, black locks tightly put up in a makeshift bun to ensure they wouldn’t end up in the food. It has happened often enough but that was okay.
“Baji"
The blond tried once again, only to be met with silence once again. He was sure he spoke loud enough. It was a small space. Pouting Chifuyu began kicking his legs out a bit. Maybe hitting the other one in the process. Accidentally. Yeah.
After the fourth or fifth kick the other boy lost his patience, strong hands gripping both legs by their knees. He was standing right between them, looking up at the smaller boy who now had the height advantage due to sitting on the counter. A shy and innocent smile found its way on his face, chuckling as he avoided the hard, brown gaze.
“I told you to call me Keisuke"
Taken off guard when a quick peck found its way to his lips Chifuyu felt heat crawling up into his cheeks. Swiftly covering the lower half of his face he mimed out a quiet apology followed by his lovers first name. The mentioned boy acknowledged this with a low chuckle as he focused on making food for both of them again.
“You’re cute. I couldn’t imagine leaving you, ever"
Stunned into silence the blond took in the others promise. This felt nice. He trusted his boyfriend, without a single doubt.
“I could never imagine hurting you in any way. I hope things will stay like this forever between us"
Neither of the boys knew where this was coming from but one thing was clear to Chifuyu; he trusted Baji. He never lied to him.
Oh, he was so drunk on love.
Foolishly so, one might even say.
And yet he didn’t have the heart to lose his faith in the other boy, even as he was pinned to the ground of Valhallas hideout, receiving one punch after the other beating him bloody. He simply stared up at the boy with the black locks, showing no resistance whatsoever.
How he wished to feel those same hands brush through his hair right now. Caress his cheek with light touches, rewarding him with light pecks because he looked cute.
“Just let go of me already". That is what Chifuyu read from his lovers expression in that right moment. He was gasping for breath, swallowing blood in the process. He felt dizzy.
Would Baji apologise later, just like he always did when he got a little too rough with him? After all, he did all of this for a good reason.
Right?
Of course he did. He always did.
Baji would never hurt his little loyal puppy without reason.
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gacy-lajla · 4 years ago
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atsumu x reader
title: i won’t let them touch you! you’re a virgin, aren’t you?
warnings: mentions of the reader being drunk but maybe they're just sleep deprived idk
summary: atsumu doesn’t have a clue where his soulmate might be from but their Japanese is somewhat comprehendable? aka atsumu gets surprised by his soulmate singing that one part in the yarichin bitch club opening touch me
a/n: this is inspired by a tiktok i saw ahahah
_____
 It was common for soulmates to receive their bond the moment both have reached the age of 18. Many people had to wait for their partner to grow old enough, being disappointed to wake up to no changes. Some found joy in not knowing when their fated day would be, waiting for the day to wake up to to a surprise.
Atsumu had turned 18 recently and was one of the people who’d have to wait – or not have a soulmate but that was one of the rarest cases. But with Nationals coming up he was too distracted to think about a soulmate anyway.
Along with volleyball players from other schools he was invited to the National Youth Training Camp, feeling a sense of pride to have been chosen, especially over his twin brother, he made the best of it.
What he didn’t expect was for a person to start singing the moment he was about to play a practise serve. Annoyed at the sudden, unwelcome sound of the subpar noises he turned around to try and make out the person who dared distract him in that very moment only to find a few of his temporary teammates going on about their practise while the sound continued. Irritated more than confused the setter tried his best to block out the distraction, bouncing the ball a few times before finally hitting the serve. Against the net. Frustrated he jogged up to the bouncing object to retrieve it again, noticing that the singing had finally stopped. He didn’t recognise the song, be it because it was sung too terrible or because he didn’t know it. It wasn’t like he wanted to know.
The rest of the day went by without further distractions.
The following day there didn’t seem to be an end in sight – by now Atsumu was pretty sure that this must be the course of his soulmate bond. It seemed that everything sung would be heard by the person on the other end. Is there a way I can tell them to shut up? At least during my serves.
The coach noticed him spacing out and had him take several breaks which he protested against at first, playing would at least distract him a little more from this hell in his head. How long could a person sing? And.. did this person slur while singing? Sighing while rubbing off the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand Atsumu thought about his next course of action. Whoever his soulmate was seemed to be most fluent singing English songs, but he only came to that conclusion because he didn’t hear them sing in any other language so far. Or he didn’t recognise it.
Relieved once there was a break in-between all the singing the setter informed his coach that he would be able to join the practise match again. On the field he took a deep breath, it was his time to serve and gain some points for his team.
What he expected least was for his soulmate to suddenly scream-sing two lines from the Yarichin Bitch Club opening – not that he’d know about the origin of the song. But having someone scream “I won’t let them touch you! You’re a virgin, aren’t you? Of all the bitches I am the best” while trying to hit the ball was a little distracting, to say the least. Managing to hit the ball into the out made the boy scream out in frustration, clutching his head, sick of his soulmates antics.
“Can’t you ever shut up!”
Catching a few concerned glances Atsumu didn’t realise that no one in this room knew of his predicament. But what was worse that the sung line repeated in his head again and again, sometimes sung better but most of the time worse. His soulmate definitely wasn’t Japanese but they were one thing for certain; drunk. A loud singing drunk. Screaming the most embarrassing lyrics.
How was he supposed to find them?
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gacy-lajla · 4 years ago
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mo dao zu shi/the untamed masterlist
UNDER CONSTRUCTION H
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wei
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jiang
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jiang
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lan
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lan
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lan
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gacy-lajla · 4 years ago
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karasuno x trans!reader
warnings: accidental and intended misgendering, transphobic comments like twice and probably a curse or two
summary: after outing yourself as a trans man you were forced to live with your uncle Ittetsu Takeda and transfer schools
a/n: heya i’ve been binge watching haikyuu this past month or less (currently through half of season 4) and i just really really wanted to read some content where the reader is transgender!! i’m agender (they/them or he because we don’t have neutral pronouns where i live)
_____
Training started just like always, after a quick warm up everyone got back to improving on their skills. The team worked like clockwork as they practised as a group – of course not leaving out a little banter here and there. Coach Ukai was currently talking outside with Takeda which was nothing too out of the ordinary. The team was used to depend on themselves and coordinate accordingly. What they didn’t expect was for the two absentees to enter with a third person again. You. Tanaka and Nishinoya were the first to react, curiosity making the served ball drop.
“Is that a new manager?” Nishinoya’s eyes lit up as he took in the figure of the new person – Karasuno sure was lucky in that regard, it seemed.
“She looks cute, but not as cute as our Kiyoko!”, Tanaka added in, standing next to the Libero.
The other players attention was on you shortly after, taking your presence in before Sugawara scolded the two friends for being distracted that easily and to keep their eyes on the ball. They were about to resume when Takeda called for everyone’s attention. Quickly gathering around the coach, the teacher and the newcomer they bowed their heads in greeting, just as you did.
Harshly giving you two pats on your left shoulder blade Ukai made you step forward with himself, giving you a reassuring smile in the process. You rubbed your cold hands together, nervousness taking over your body as all eyes were now set on you. Catching on quickly the man introduced you to the team himself.
“Everyone, this is (y/n), a third year. He recently transferred to this school and will be joining our team from now on, I expect you to be respectful towards him.”
You bowed again giving a small “pleased to meet you”, thankful that Ukai spared you of making a fool out of yourself by tripping over your own words. After that you got a short introduction from everyone, trying your best to remember their names immediately but that wasn’t really your forte so you just told yourself you’d pay attention to the others calling each other’s names.
After that you warmed yourself up to join them in the actual training. During that time you couldn’t help but listen in on some of the conversations as there wasn’t much else to focus on.
“Isn’t that a girl? Why is she training with the boys?”
“Yeah, wouldn’t it be better if she just joined the girl’s training?”
“I heard that she’s actually a he.”
You didn’t pay attention to who was talking – they seemed not to be part of the volleyball club – but it sure hit you in the most vulnerable of all places. Just until recently you had been playing with the girls from your former school. You actually transferred because, after coming out as trans, you have been excluded from any gendered club activities as the authority was unsure about how to handle a case such as yourself. There were also some actions inside of school which convinced you that your former school was not the ideal place for you to stay at. Not only that but your parents sent you to stay with your uncle – Ittetsu Takeda – because obviously you were ungrateful towards them. Not that you really mind, he’s much nicer and way more understanding – well, still in the process of understanding, but at least he’s trying his best, which was nice.
“It’s weird calling someone with boobs ‘he’.”
Your jog slowed down, your mind trying to focus on suppressing tears that threatened to appear. Taking a deep breath you gained some tempo again before taking a stop next to the coach again.
“I think I’ve warmed up enough, am I supposed to just… join them?”
Ukai nodded so you continued to walk towards the line waiting to receive their spikes. In your old team you didn’t really have a set position, rotating it around inside the group as the sport wasn’t taken too seriously. Though opponents were cautious of you every time you went out on an attack you had to admit that you had more fun in a defensive position, receiving the ball was one of the best feelings you could imagine while playing on the field. But when it came to skill you would probably be considered an all-rounder.
It didn’t take long until it was your turn to hit the ball – two setters being present making progress like clockwork. You got a pass from a grey haired boy, Sugawara if you remembered correctly. It was easy to remember him, he just had a sweet aura about him which made it easy to remember his name. The moment the ball hit your hand and the ground on the opposite side of the net immediately after, silence befell the room. The Libero didn’t manage to get the ball by a hairs width. Turning towards the setter you nervously played with your hands.
“Could you try to pass the ball a little higher next time? I might not be the tallest person but I can jump pretty high.”
After a brief silence a smile flashed on his face – which you immediately returned -, giving you a thumbs up. “Sure!”
Moving out of the way a boy about your height came up to you, looking at you with bright and sparkling eyes. You didn’t remember his name but you were quite sure he was a first year.
“Can you show me how you did that? When did you learn that?”
You were stunned into silence for a second, wondering what he could possibly mean. He must’ve meant your spike, right? You’ve noticed that they tended to spike their balls quite far which you didn’t – a force of habit since in your old team your teammates struggled to get the ball higher up most of the time. Rubbing the back of your neck nervously you chuckled a bit.
“Well, my old team didn’t really have a setter that managed to keep the ball at the perfect height every time so I had to adapt, I guess? So when I jump too high I just try to get the ball on the other side as close to the net as possible. It took me some time not to touch the net in the process but with enough training it just happens less frequently.”
“Woah, that’s so cool! Do you mind staying after training so you can show me, please?”
“Sure, I don’t see why not.”
After that you got quite comfortable with Sugawara’s sets which never seemed to falter. It finally felt like you were playing volleyball with people who shared the same enthusiasm as yourself which was a nice change. After a few more turns everyone was gathered again. The coach announce that you’d be playing one set before packing up for the day.
The opposing team consisted of Daichi, Sugawara, Tanaka, Kinoshita, Hinata, Yamaguchi and Nishinoya. You were teamed up with Asahi, Ennoshita, Narita, Kageyama and Tsukishima. To be honest, you really hoped you’d end up with the setter you’ve been training with already but that wishful thinking should apparently be denied. You wondered if the coach did it on purpose because he noticed you avoiding the other setter until now? Whatever it was there was no time to complain, not that you actually would.
You started in the back left – thankfully not serving the ball as you struggled most with it. You always made little mistakes, if it was throwing the ball too high or too low, but most commonly not noticing that you stepped over the line. Yes, when you hit the ball you usually hit it hard but if it didn’t reach the other side of the net or flew into the out there was no use to it.
The whistle ripped you out of your thoughts, focusing on the game. Yamaguchi had the first serve. It seemed like the ball was heading straight for Ennoshita next to you but in the last moment it drifted off to the side towards you. Noticing this you quickly sprang into action, diving for the ball. Despite managing to touch it there was no way of it to be saved, the first point going to the opposite team. That had to be a jump float serve! Impressed you looked at the boy breathing a quiet ‘woah’ before resuming your position. Ennoshita turned toward you as well.
“You react quick, I’m sure we’ll get the next one!”
You smiled at him, nodding.
The next serve was easier to react to as Yamaguchi failed to hit the ball right, resulting in Ennoshita successfully receiving. Next thing you knew your teams setter passed the ball towards the guy with the ponytail in front of you, spiking the ball with confidence only to be received by Daichi.
“Good spike!”, you cheered the guy in front of you, receiving a shy ‘thanks’ in return.
The other team struggled a little with the received ball, the second touch not reaching the setter resulting in a successful block from the tall blonde with the glasses, earning your first point. Encouraging words were exchanged and your team rotated its players clockwise, you now standing in the front left, ponytail standing to your right and Ennoshita behind you, Narita having the next serve. His hit seemed a little unstable but ended up rolling over the net, earning you yet another point.
His next serve seemed more intentional but was easily received by Daichi once more, passing the ball to Sugawara who set the ball nicely for Tanaka, but the tall blonde managed to touch the ball taking a direct course towards Narita once again who passed the ball towards your setter. You took the opportunity to run forward, either receiving the ball or distracting the other players – you assumed that he’d play to the ponytail guy again since the middle blocker was smaller by a few heads and thus less likely to block the ball. Sugawara, opposite of you, kept you covered, not joining the small redhead. And just as you predicted ponytail got the ball. What took you a little by surprise was the height the first year student reached, he was easily on par with you. But that didn’t help as a point was scored nonetheless.
The game went on, a head to head game. Your team had 12 points while the opponents had 14. You had scored none of the points, the setter not having played once in your direction. It bugged you, yes, but you also tried to be mindful. You’ve never had any interaction with that guy so it would be hard for both of you to get used to one another, possibly making you lose more points than you would gain.
You nervously fiddled with the volleyball in your hands. It was time for your first serve and your gut was telling you something really bad was about to happen. You’d definitely screw this one up. You really wished you’d practised your serves a little more now. If you didn’t jump you probably wouldn’t be able to score at all because you knew from experience that your standing serves always ended in home runs. Gulping down whatever was blocking your airway the moment you heard the whistle you took a deep breath before throwing the ball. Taking a few quick steps you jumped, dread filling you the moment you hit the ball with all of your might. It wouldn’t be high enough.
Oh no.
A loud thud was heard and the person in front of you stumbled a little forward, holding the back of his head before falling to his knees. Panicked you rushed towards the setter, the looming silence making you wince with every squeaky step you took.
“I’m so, so incredibly sorry! Are you okay? I didn’t mean to hit you like that-”
You cut yourself off the moment the dark haired setter whipped his head around and glared at you. Taking a few steps back others rushed to his side, helping him up asking if he was alright. Reassuring them that he was alright everyone went back to their positions, albeit reluctantly. And not like this situation was humiliating enough already, the moment the coach spoke up you really wanted to be swallowed by the ground.
“(y/n), you stepped over the line.”
You felt your soul leave your body, Asahi, now to your left tried to assure you that everything was alright. But for the rest of the game you didn’t dare call out for the ball once, not having scored once in the end despite winning by a narrow margin. You really feel like you’ve fucked up this one.
After cleaning up you quickly threw on a sweater to keep yourself warm. You were about to call out to you uncle to wait for you when something quick made you stop abruptly. It was Hinata.
“Do you still don’t mind showing me that spike you did? It was really awesome and I want to see it again!”
_______
a/n: thank you for reading! I’m not sure how i want to continue this, i might just turn this into one overall thing with no focus on one character (i’d probably write something similar for other schools as well) or i might split off from here so there would be different ‘routes’ (also including other schools! as in karasuno reader and kuroo, bokuto, akaashi or whoever)
feedback regarding this would be nice :0 have a nice morning, day, evening or night <3
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gacy-lajla · 4 years ago
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thanatos x reader. (but not really)
warnings: death, blood mentioned
summary: what is it when you think of death? you didn't think you would find out so soon
_____
When you think of death what is it that you imagine? Sudden blackness or do you feel your soul tearing itself apart from your limp body? Maybe you believe that you will be judged whether you deserve to be in heaven or hell.
Do you think you would still remember the way you died? Maybe you still feel the pain. Would you always struggle to breathe if you were to drown? What if you still felt the agonising pain you had to suffer through?
Would you even know you've died?
A sigh left your lips as you leaned your back against the tree behind yourself, eyes fixed on the unmoving body before you. Not even their upper body rising, indicating their lost life. You’ve tried turning them onto their back after convincing yourself that the bloody wound would only dirty you, not hurt you. But it seemed you couldn’t interact with them, your hands passing right through.
Inspecting their face closer you had discovered that they had a certain resemblance to yourself. But that was impossible, right? This couldn’t be you. You were alive and well, still breathing in the air that suddenly didn’t smell of mud and blood anymore. Blood of enemies and comrades.
You’ve tried picking up a fallen sword again but that didn’t work either. It seemed so much heavier and just wouldn’t budge. But you couldn’t give up, your army needed every fighter.
Giving it a few more tries you came to a sudden halt. The sound of metal scratching the ground slowly, as if someone approached you slowly reached your ears and you froze for a second. You waited for something else to happen, maybe hearing someone swing their sword at you. The pain of something stabbing you, seamlessly tearing your skin and muscles apart.
But nothing.
You slowly turned your head and, indeed, someone was standing there. Looming over your figure, casting a long shadow over your body. They were clad darkly, a hood covering most of their hair, piercing yellow eyes taking in every little movement you made. What made your heartbeat increase was his scythe. Was that an eye on it, watching you?
Despite everything in your body telling you to fear for your life and run for your life you were seemingly stuck in place. Not a word left you.
„Aren’t you curious as to who I might be?“
The dark voice startled you, not expecting them to speak up. Instead of answering you just looked up at them, taking in every single detail. How could it be that you feared for your life but also felt somewhat at peace? It felt like you were on a new, right path.
Taking your silence as an answer the person only chuckled.
„The name is Thanatos, or just Death if that’s what you prefer calling me.“
At his words your gaze landed on the immobile body once more. So this really was…
„I am here to take you with me. Here.“
Turning back to him you just managed to reach out your hands to catch the poppy in time, the red colour a stark contrast to the dried blood coating your hands. When you looked back up you found yourself on a shore, your surroundings suddenly very dark. Was it because you were dead that you failed to express your inner feelings?
A firm hand nudged you forward, surprised you saw Thanatos at your side who was looking straight ahead. You followed his eyes, a boat catching your wandering gaze.
„Charon will get you to your destination. Don’t let him wait.“
You nodded, clutching the poppy against your chest. You wondered where you would end up.
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gacy-lajla · 4 years ago
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tumblr won't let me post anything on my laptop (this has been going for a few weeks) and i just :/
it won't even let me save anything as a draft it really hecking sucks
i really really hope this issue solves itself or I'll have to post everything from my mobile phone oTL
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gacy-lajla · 4 years ago
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Wen Qing x Reader || Comb
Genre: idk ths is like the introduction to something with slight angst and def fluff fluff fluff, also based on the SERIES because i have yet to finish the web novel (and animation,, and manhua,,,,)
Warnings: none
Word count: 1,171
Summary: You help Wen Qing do the dishes when you find out about the comb she was gifted (this is probably a two part series - if not more); reader is gender neutral so anyone should be able to read this?? also not proof read because we die like almost everyone in this series
“Wen Qing!”
At the sound of your voice the woman turned around, abandoning her task of cleaning the dishes by giving you all of her attention. She slowly rose on her two legs, nearly matching you in height, her red clothing dirtied by working many hours a day, having to kneel down in the most unclean places – especially when it came to playing with little Yuan. You couldn't help but smile every single time she gave him time of the day just to help him have a fulfilling childhood – considering the situation you found yourself currently in. You've always known, ever since meeting Wen Qing, that she was much of a family person. Her brother seemed to be the world to her, so seeing her watch A-Yuan with so much love in her eyes was no surprise – and now with the state Wen Ning is in he probably is a good distraction for her. The look in her eyes when she looked at both though nearly matched the same expression you had whenever you spotted her. Not that she knew, you didn't have the courage to tell her how you felt. Instead you poked fun at her that she was a real heartbreaker for every man walking by which made her scold you for spending too much time with Wei Wuxian.
“Is there something you need? Should I help you with your work?” Her voice was soft and you would do anything to listen to her day in and day out.
“Oh no, there's no need, I actually finished a while ago and came to find you to ask if you need-” you stopped, remembering how much she disliked it when people offered their help by asking if she needed it – as if she wasn't capable to do it on her own. “I'm here to help you out a bit, Yuan's missing you and Granny Wen would probably like a little break!”
You gave her a cheeky smile to which she answered with a defeated sigh. She knew that you wouldn't accept an rejection so instead she just handed you a plate and a cloth, getting back to her work. You worked in silence, only the steady scrubbing on the dishes breaking it, but no word was uttered, you both too concentrated on the task. But it didn't take long for you to lift your head a little and look at the woman once again, silently admiring her for the strong person she was, which she would obviously would deny. But you, for once in your life, knew better. You just haven't found a way to show her, yet.
Your body jumped a little when her eyes flicked up and met yours, unimpressed and yet questioning. “You shouldn't offer your help if you won't actually do anything.” She said, leaving the question on top of her tongue out. You let out a little 'oh', noticing that, yes, you have stopped scrubbing which you immediately resumed on doing. After that you forced yourself not to look up any more, your face burning in embarrassment at being caught staring. At least she didn't ask you about why you were doing it because honestly? You probably wouldn't have a good comeback for her and would just stumble all over your words.
When Wen Qing stood up once more to place the washed dishes on a table you noticed a piece of cloth tightly wound around something drop to the floor with a soft thud which she didn't seem to notice. You looked at her and then back to the little piece on the ground before reaching out and grabbing it to hand it back to her.
“Wen Qing, you dropped something!” You held the veiled object up above your head, holding it between your fingers so she could see it. She turned her head towards you and when she noticed what you were holding she rushed back after placing the items down.
“Ah, thank you so much, I can't believe I actually let it slip I-” She stopped there, leaving the rushed sentence unfinished. You didn't want to force her to explain herself – it was her matter in the end and not yours, curiosity rarely got the better of you anyway.
“I didn't look at what it is, don't worry. You know I don't like it when people snoop around so I also don't do it to others.” You reassured her with a sincere smile which made her visibly relax, the grip on the item still firm, though.
“It's... fine. I was meaning to return it anyway. I don't need it, even though- well, I feel bad for holding on to it for so long.” You cocked your head to the side in question. What could make her feel so bad for having something for a longer period of time? Was it some kind of charm that didn't belong to her? Maybe something Wen Ning possessed which she wants to give him back once he awakens again? But you didn't have to muse over the answer for long because with her gaze on the cloth she opened it and revealed a comb.
“A comb? Did you take it from Granny? I can give it back to her if-”
“It was given to me by Jiang Cheng.”
“Oh.”
You pressed your lips into a firm line, immediately understanding the meaning of the gifted comb by the leader of the Jiang Sect, your entire body stiffening by the uncomfortable atmosphere created. Wen Qing looked sad, her eyes downcast on the little piece which was most likely a sign of interest – of love.
“I don't- I don't want to give him hope where it isn't due. Especially after everything that happened. I doubt he even feels the same way the day he gifted it to me. And I...” There was a pause in which she took a deep breath. You were holding your own unconsciously, waiting with anticipation what she was going to say.
“I don't think I can say I return his feelings. There's someone else I hold dear which I have not felt when being around him.”
You let out the breath you were holding, at a loss of words. You weren't ready for her to open up about such things to you now. And it kind of made you scared to do the same because she apparently had someone in mind, and by the love of every living being, you couldn't put your finger on who it might actually be.
“Ah, I probably said too much, I'm sorry. You don't need to say anything, I wouldn't know what to say if I were you as well.”
“You don't need to be sorry, Wen Qing, you know I'm always happy to just listen to you...” Your voice was uncharacteristically quiet compared to hers, the double meaning of your words only known to you. You would never dare to grow tired of hearing her voice filling the room.
“Thank you.”
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gacy-lajla · 4 years ago
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navigation
you’ll find links to masterlists and a list my of current interests which i’d write for right here!
bts masterlist
mo dao zu shi/the untamed masterlist
hades masterlist (n/a)
haikyuu!! masterlist (n/a)
and here is everything i’d potentially write for if requested (or if i need some self indulgence h-)
Groups:
Ateez
BTS
Day6
Monsta X
Seventeen
Stray Kids
Male Solo Artists/Actors/Idols from groups which I discovered w/out their group (there’s a high possibility I’ll add the whole group at some point but my brain capacity is currently not sufficient fhjsdk):
Eric Nam
Taemin (ShinEE, SuperM)
Ten (NCT, SuperM)
Wonho
Wang Yibo (Uniq)
Zheng Fanxing
Series/Movies:
Aggretsuko
ATLA
BNA - Brand New Animal
Boku no Hero Academia/My hero Academia
Castlevania
Demon Slayer
Haikyuu!!
The Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi
Tokyo Revengers
Violet Evergarden
Yuri!!! on Ice
Games:
Ace Attorney
AI: The Somnium Files
Fire Emblem (I’m most informed about Awakening and up, but feel free to request other characters!)
Genshin Impact
Hades
Persona 5
Pokémon
Yakuza 0
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gacy-lajla · 5 years ago
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Woah, False Alarm reached 100 notes, I’m glad y’all are enjoying it 😳✋
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gacy-lajla · 5 years ago
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Jeon Jungkook X Reader || False Alarm
Genre: Love Alarm!AU, it’s not really fluff or angst just a lot of frustration and misunderstandings??
Warnings: mild use of foul language, probably a lot of errors because I never proofread I’m sorry
Word count: 2,413
Summary: Love Alarm is a brand new app and will contact you if someone in a 10 metre radius fell for you – given they have the app, too. You didn't download it for personal reasons and when you meet one of the schools heartthrobs he cannot stop and wonder why his alarm didn't go off when you locked eyes. But would it even do so if you downloaded the app?
You two locked eyes across the hallway, it was hard to block out the constant ringing of his Love Alarm going off as students passed him by, here and there other people received a notification as well, checking it quickly if perhaps by any chance Jungkook was a match.
Offering a small smile as the boy didn't look away you continued moving again, passing him by as you couldn't wait and finally leave this place filled with lovesick puppies. Stepping out of the building the atmosphere didn't seem to change for one bit, the occasional ringing to be heard and longing gazes were thrown around as students hoped for their crushes to pass them by and possibly alerting their mobile devices. Here and there you saw students just minding their business which made you feel not totally out of place, which was nice to see.
Leaving school grounds you finally seemed to escape the madness of people longing for love – and now that you were sure there was a very low possibility of someone calling your name you pulled out your headphone. Plugging it in you were about to blend out the outside world and dive into your very own but a quite large hand on your shoulder made your reflexes kick in and in one quick and swift movement you escaped the touch and faced the person to evaluate the situation. To your surprise you were face to face with heartthrob Jeon Jungkook – who you noticed staring at his phone right after you turned around. Your eyes narrowed slightly and you tried to read his facial expression, but as expected nothing would break his flawless facade. Seconds went by without a word uttered and he finally thought it would be a good idea to look at you after startling you like this. You were worried his oh-so-perfect eyes might have been glued to his phone for forever.
But still, none of you said something. You were about to ask him what he wanted but stopped yourself after noticing the smallest change in his face. His eyebrows seemed to have drawn closer, an uncharacteristic frown having formed as he looked you up and down. Feeling uncomfortable under his gaze you crossed your arms protectively over your chest and your gaze hardened.
“Is there a problem?”
No reaction. Of course, why would someone so popular speak to someone like you, after all? Didn't he have somewhere better to be? As you were about to turn around he took a step forward, the hand grasping his phone coming closer to you and you took a cautious step back. What the hell was his problem?
“Why isn't my Love Alarm notifying me about you?”, he asked, and never really having talked with him his tone threw you off a little. He sounded genuinely confused. Given that his alarm always went haywire, no matter the other persons gender, you kind of understood his confusion but at the same time he seemed like one of the most narcissistic people you have ever met.
“Do you just expect everyone to love you?”
This seems to have hit a nerve and he backed off a little, your shoulders relaxed as a result but your arms remained crossed. You could see the gears in his head turning, trying to process what you had just said.
“I mean... it kind of always-”
“Dude, I understand that your ego can't take this so lightly but I really want to go home and not deal with this right now so if you could just-”
“Hey, that was fucking rude, I just asked you a question – I guess the alarm not going off really means you hate me, then!”
Your eyes widened at his loud words and your shoulders tensed once more.
“Just because your stupid alarm didn't go off it doesn't mean someone hates you, it just means they don't love you romantically! I don't see what the big deal is, Jeon, so could you please leave me alone?”
Not saying another word after the exchange you put on your headphones and walked off, not wanting to deal with this unnecessary argument any more. Honestly, what was wrong with this guy? Was he so spoiled that he really didn't understand the concept of not everyone wanting to kiss his feet the moment they meet him? He really must've been fed with a silver spoon all of his life if that was true. Or maybe this app just failed in its purpose – there were quite some flaws, the biggest being that people would only rely on it to know if someone loved you. It was kind of measuring the worth of hoping for a relationship. If it didn't go off after the first meeting, why bother trying?
“This is so stupid, love isn't something that happens on a first glance. Attraction, sure, but this – this is ridiculous!”, you mumbled angrily, your footwork being more intense than usual, your pace much faster. You could feel your heartbeat so you tried to calm yourself, taking a deep breath. This wasn't your problem, you didn't have the app so you wouldn't have to deal with all of this. Not that you were interested, really.
A few days passed, the weekend successfully isolating you from the majority of the school you went to. Only a few familiar faces popped up here and there, but nothing too engaging. But soon enough Monday rolled around again and you tiredly slumped against your desk, not having slept enough the night before. You still had around ten minutes before the first class would start so you chatted with your friends.
“Isn't Woosung coming today? He never misses his classes.”
The question made you lift your head and look over at your friends, one of them turning theirs away embarrassedly, visibly turning pink.
“I don't think he is, we kind of... got into an argument? I don't know. We met up yesterday at an cafe and made a bet on whose love alarm would go off first when we download it and, uh-”, there was a brief pause when they looked around to make sure nobody was listening before leaning in, “Mine kinda may have gone off first and it mayhap could have been him who made it go 'bling bling', if you know what I mean and then he just excused himself and left-”
“It did what?”
“Woosung likes you?”
“Did you talk with him after the incident?”, you piped up quietly. Embarrassed they rubbed their neck.
“I don't really know what I should write him. 'Thank you for liking me'? I don't even know if I feel the same way about him and it was just a game-”
“But his feelings aren't a game for him. You should try and talk to him, tell him you need time to figure this out, at least.”
“Right.”
After that the conversation died down and not much later the first class started, the rest off the day passing by rather quickly and you soon found yourself on the campus again, swiping out your phone to shoot Woosung a quick message, asking him if he was alright. You worried a little for him but you were also sure that he'd get back up quickly again. Before you could pocked your mobile device away again you were met with three bodies aimed in your direction. The figures were lean and you groaned internally. Curse people who were taller than you.
“Can we talk?”
You looked up at the person who spoke, immediately recognizing him as one of the hot topics at this school, a friend of Jungkook. You weren't that busy but you also didn't want to speak with them, not knowing what this would be about, maybe a Love Alarm thing again and they also didn't understand why it wouldn't react with you being in close proximity. But then again, you were really bad at saying no when you didn't see a visible threat and people were around to witness.
“Sure”, you said, shrugging, nervously holding your phone tighter. You looked to the other two to identify them, you weren't entirely sure but you'd guess that before you were Jin, Jimin and Taehyung. The one that spoke to you actually had pretty broad shoulders which was almost scary. What did his parents feed him?
“It's not really our matter what happened between you and Jungkook, but we have to deal with him and his reaction now, so we wanted to talk with you about what occurred last Friday”, the smallest of the group said, his face not telling you much about his emotions, except for a small pout.
“You're right, it's none of your business and I don't see what there needs to be talked about. His alarm didn't ring, so what? So didn't yours or anyone's when I'm around, it should just be an indicator that I am not romantically invested in anyone.” You talked in a steady and calm matter, not wanting to make this into some big conflict you didn't want to be part of. But your plans had to be crushed when the last one of the boys spoke up – definitely emotionally more invested about this than the other two.
“That didn't mean you have to tell him that you hate him! That was totally rude and uncalled for, our Kookie doesn't deserve this, we want you to apologise!” At his loud and deep voice you took a cautious step back, your heart racing which you tried to mask with a neutral expression, but your tense body gave away your anxiousness. His two friends tried to calm him down a little by placing their hands on his back, whispered words were being exchanged while you thought of the quickest way to get out of this situation. You didn't have to talk to somebody accusing you of things you didn't do, right?
Just as you were about to take a step towards the gate you felt a hand on your shoulder, a strong feeling of deja vu washing over you. Reflexes kicking in quicker than your brain could take anything in you slapped the hand away quite harshly.
“Don't touch me!”
Surprised at your own volume you only dared to stare at the ground, three pairs of shoes visible before you turned around once more, determined to leave. Even when you heard voices asking you to wait you didn't falter. Asking you to apologise for something you didn't do was already a hot take but them touching you without permission, even when it only was your shoulder, was the last straw. Had they used their voices first, maybe you would've stayed, but this act of dominance, wanting to turn you around by physical contact, that is something you were taught not to accept that easily.
The next day went by just as fast, Woosung, after some texts, seemed to have brightened up and actually showed up again. He still seemed a little stiff with your other friend around but he also knew that he didn't want to lose this friendship with them, which they were grateful for. You on the other hand still had your thoughts set on the fiasco from the day before. It was weird how an app could complicate things so much. And you didn't even install it once.
What made you more nervous was the fact that you had classes with Jungkook today. You really didn't like seeing his face around any more. How could he tell his friends the lies about you hating somebody you barely knew? You just knew that he was the hot stuff to other people around you, which you couldn't deny – he was attractive. But there was nothing in your brain that told you 'oh, I wish I could be in a relationship with you so, so bad'. And to your brain he was nothing more than something nice to look at from time to time.
Which you didn't notice, because you don't take note of a lot of people, is that you shared that same class with one of the guys you met the other day. Taking a deep breath the moment you noticed them you rushed to your seat. You didn't even have time to hope for peace and quiet because they were already by your side. Course breaks, for once, because you really were getting sick of this.
“Look, I'm not going to apologise for something I didn't do – I never said I hated you, that's something you assumed beca-” You couldn't finish your sentence, you would've hadn't it been for the words that left Jungkook.
“I'm sorry.”
“Huh?” You looked up at him from your seat, confused as if he'd just grown a third eye. You waited for him to continue, because it looked like he wanted to say something more. It took quite the nudge from his friend who you recognised as the one who raised his voice at you.
“I'm sorry about assuming things I shouldn't have. It was wrong of me. And I'm sorry for bothering you with all this because of the app. And for telling my friends things about you that weren't true.”
His whole manner seemed a lot more stiff than you were used to, his voice wavering at some points.
“Apology accepted, I'm also sorry for probably sounding a lot ruder than I needed to be.”
“I'm also sorry for... yelling at you yesterday. It wasn't my place to do so, I just don't like to see my friends getting hurt so I lost my temper, sorry.” You were surprised at – Taehyung? - also speaking up, but you appreciated it. It was nice to see people learn from their mistakes.
“It's alright, I understand why you did what you did.” You paused, thinking about telling Jungkook that you didn't even have Love Alarm, but the setting seemed too out of place. Maybe another time, you were just glad that this situation was now solved.
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gacy-lajla · 5 years ago
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bless your soul for the partner in crime fic, as a trans guy, i greatly appreciate it. even tho it’s never explicitly said in the story that reader is trans, that’s very much how i feel. thank you again
this makes me very happy to hear, thank you! as a non-binary person myself i aim to write as gender neutral readers as i can so that hopefully everyone can enjoy them! :D
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gacy-lajla · 5 years ago
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Kim Namjoon x nb!Reader || Partner In Crime
Genre: Angst-ish??, Fluff
Warnings: gender/body dysphoria bc the reader is non-binary but still has a female body, mentions of alcohol, I once again wrote this in one go I’m sorry if this thing doesn’t make any sense and has a lot of mistakes-
Word count: 2,347
Summary: You met up with the boys to have some fun together but one thing led to another and you suddenly felt very insecure about who ou were once again. Should you open up?
You looked down your body, or more like tried. Because most of it was covered by a mass you despised seeing every single time you looked down. You took a deep breath but it felt like the fabric on your body restricted you more than usual. Letting your gaze wander across the bathroom you tried ignoring the self hate towards your body. You hadn't have any say in what your genes would create but that didn't make you feel any better. Any more comfortable. And the people you grew up around only made it worse, really. Your mother always wanting you to wear something that'd show off your figure. The figure you didn't want anyone to see. Every time you tried explaining how you felt it was brushed off. People either ignored you or said you wanted to follow a 'trend'. Just remembering this made your eyes sting with tears but you refused letting them fall. You weren't around them any more. But you also didn't tell your new family of friends about how you felt, fearing rejection, the same fate as before. You wanted to tell them, you really did. After one year you thought you'd finally feel brace enough, but alas, here you are, alone in the bathroom of one of your closest friends, shaking.
“I can't do it. I can't tell them, it'll just be the same as back then... but does this really-”
A few sharp knocks on the door had you nearly jumping up from the toilet seat. Taking a deep breath you steeled yourself.
“Yeah, what is it?”, you asked, your voice more steady than you felt.
“I just wanted to check up on you. Is everything alright?”
Hearing Namjoon's deep voice through the door you suddenly felt really small. You really didn't want to lie to him but making him worry about you seemed like the greater evil to you right now.
“I'm good, I'll be out in a few, sorry for taking so long”, you replied a little shakily but it seemed like he didn't notice through the door because he shortly left after a hurried 'okay'. Listening for his retreating steps you let your head fall into your hands, a heavy sigh leaving your lips. You shouldn't make a scene out of nothing, so you decided to finally leave the bathroom. But as luck wanted you to suffer you were met with a body not much taller than you and it only took you a few heartbeats to realise something very wet was sticking to your upper body.
“Oh goodness, I am so sorry I really didn't mean to spill this on you!” Frantically waving his hands in front of his body in an apologetic manner Jimin you noticed his eyes were fixated on the wet spot and you grew more and more insecure by the second, immediately covering your chest and looking away, trying to ignore the strong smell of alcohol coming off of you now.
“It's fine, don't worry, I'll just ask Namjoon for a shirt or something”, you attempted to reassure him with a crooked smile to which he calmed down a little. He must've had a few drinks already, not having noticed your distress from before.
“A-ah, you don't have to ask him, we'll just go and fetch one for you right now, he won't mind, we've all borrowed clothes from each other by now!”
Without having the chance of uttering another word he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you with him towards the leaders room. You were too focussed on not tripping that you didn't notice that you entered it and the smallest member was looking through some of his tops.
“Would you like a shirt or a pullover- oh no, no! Never mind that, you'd look super adorable in one of his sweaters, let me just see- yeah, here you go, put it on!”
He handed you a piece of clothing, looking at you expectantly for some time before realisation washed over him and his face visibly turned redder than before. With a quiet sorry and an embarrassed giggle he left the room, shutting the door behind him. Sighing once more you eyed the dark purple material before shrugging and finally changing out of the soaked shirt you were wearing before. In the process you couldn't help but falter when you spotted your breasts once more – you were currently waiting on your binder to arrive. Swiftly grabbing the new piece of clothing you covered yourself up again, the sweater definitely too big and baggy for you, which actually made you feel more comfortable than before. Your curves got covered and even you couldn't say no to sweater paws. Taking the wet shirt you draped it over a chair in the room, hoping you wouldn't forget it later.
Leaving Namjoon's cave you were met with Jimin's beaming face who quickly enveloped you in a tight embrace, praising your cute looks and whatnot. Chuckling nervously you pushed his giggling form off of you, pointing towards the living room where the other's were at, implying to get back to them and he nodded before taking your hand once more and dragging you with him. He was more touchy than usual which was probably due to the alcohol in his blood.
“Guys, guys, look! Doesn't (y/n) look cute in Namjoon's clothes? She's so adorable, don't you think?”
You couldn't help but tense a little at the pronoun but you reminded yourself that you didn't tell any of them so they couldn't possibly know.
Suddenly very aware of the many sets of eyes on your body you shrunk a little and tugged at Jimin's arm, shielding yourself with his body. You were met with silence at first before you could hear cooing from Jin, Hobi and Taehyung, Yoongi and Jungkook seemed to respect you enough to notice that you were not comfortable with the situation and looked at Jimin with a questioning glance and Namjoon- he looked at you, eyes widened and cheeks aflame. Which probably was due to the alcohol. Nothing else.
“Are you trying to force a girlfriend and Joonie by giving her his clothes now?”, asked Jin, making not only himself but also the others around him burst out laughing. But you only froze, not knowing what to say. Not wanting to say anything because you were most likely going to make this situation escalate and you didn't want to ruin the mood.
“Mmnh, I wish I could say yes, but I accidentally spilled my drink on her – sorry again – and I was sure hyung wouldn't mind because he said he trusts (y/n) more than some of us and besides-”
Jimin was shut up by Namjoon covering his mouth before more could leave his conversation friendly tongue. You were amazed by the sheer speed he possessed, never having seen anything like it before.
“I think you've had enough to drink for tonight.”
You chuckled quietly at that, having the same thoughts about the smallest member. He wrestled the taller man's hand off of his mouth and sent him a playful glare while sitting down. You followed what he did, sitting down next to him. What you didn't expect was Namjoon sitting down next to you as well, leaning in closer than usual, but once again you blamed the alcohol. Nonetheless, combined with the prior comment of Jin you couldn't help but feel your face brighten up in a pinkish colour. The thought of being in a relationship was weird to you but if Namjoon wanted to you'd maybe agree on trying.
“By the way, the sweater looks really good on you. You can keep it, if you want.”
Surprised by the comment leaving his lips you turned to him, eyeing his face for a few seconds. When you finally settled on his eyes you smiled and shoved him playfully.
“Yeah, I'll keep it for the night and give it back after washing it-”
“No, I meant it as- like- you know, you can just, I don't know, have it if you want to- it's not like I can't buy myself a few new ones, I just think it suits you well and I'd like to see you wear it more often, maybe?”
“Joonie, how much did you drink?” You laughed at his dumbfound expression, lifting one of your sweater covered hands to mask your face a little.
“Just a- a few, am I that drunk already?”
“You're just rambling so much, it's cute but I also miss you being spot on with your words”, you answered, him nodding along as you did so. After that there were no more words exchanged between you two, instead you engaged in a group discussion on capitalism and communism which may or may not has been introduced by Yoongi.
“Okay, I thing it's time to wrap this up.”
You glanced around, noticing Jimin fast asleep and wrapped around a sleeping Hobi on the couch, Yoongi, Jin and Taehyung stopped their conversation and you and Jungkook looked over at Namjoon holding two slices of pizza up which were part of the eating competition you were having. Putting down yours you were about to stand up when you heard the boy next to you exclaim, the others joining in.
“The bed in the guest room is mine!”
“I'm sharing with him!”
“I'll take the couch in there!”
“I'll sleep in the bathtub!”
At the last one you all – except for the sleeping two, who to your surprise did not wake up by all the noise – looked at Taehyung. He just shrugged at your questioning gestures.
“Give me a few blankets and it's just as good as any bed. I also don't wanna sleep in hyungs bed, who knows what happened in there.”
Namjoon groaned at his words. “My bed is in perfectly fine shape, thank you very much. (y/n), you can sleep in it-”
“But what about you? Where will you sleep?”
He didn't answer, thinking. Every comfortable place was claimed as well as the bathtub, so he would have to settle for the floor. Taking his silence as exactly that conclusion you sighed over dramatically.
“I don't mind sharing, uh, your bed with you?”
The phrasing sounded weird and as expected there was a low whistle from right beside you. You poked at Jungkooks rips to which he quickly stood up and raced towards the guest room, out of your reach. Before anything else there was a chorus of 'good night's and you and Namjoon were left alone. Standing together awkwardly, swinging slightly from the drinks you pointed toward his room and you both made your way there. When he spoke up and tried to convince you that he'd sleep on the floor you just shushed him and told him that as long as you wouldn't do anything inappropriate you were totally fine sleeping in one bed with him.
Finally settling in his bed together you rolled your body up, facing away from the other person in the room who laid flat on his back, staring at the ceiling, seeming to question every decision he chose in his life. You didn't expect him to speak up, though, so when he did you flinched, your heart skipping a beat, but you quickly caught yourself again.
“I'm sorry about what Jimin said – the thing about you being my girlfriend I mean. Ah, wait no that was Jin- shit.”
You forced out a low chuckle, playing with your fingers as you thought about your next words, barricades down not that you two were alone and still in the afterglow of consuming unhealthy amounts of intoxicating beverages.
“s'okay, it's not like it'd be possible anyway, me being your girlfriend.”
You heard rustling behind your body, feeling the weight on the mattress shifting, indicating that Namjoon either turned toward you or away from you. His now seemingly closer voice confirmed the first speculation.
“What do you mean? Wouldn't you want to be? I mean, I understand if I'm not your type, I would've just really liked if- ugh... I mean, I really like you. I'd like to give it a try. Call you my girlfriend, if you're okay with that-”
You felt suddenly felt really bad, hearing the disappointed drop in his voice. He kind of sounded defeated which made your heart ache. You didn't want him to hurt.
“It's not that-”, you turned around facing him now, “that I dislike the thought of dating you or something. It's just...”
You exhaled deeply, closing your eyes in the process. You felt the anxiety build up in your stomach and chest. Namjoon didn't say a word, waiting patiently for you to continue, which you appreciated.
“I don't- my body. I don't like the way it is, I guess? The form, all the curves, I don't like them. They make me feel uncomfortable.”
“You aren't satisfied with your body? I love every little bit about you, if you were my girlfriend I'd remind you every single day; you're perfect just the way you are, no matter what other people may say-”
“No- no that's not what I meant. I don't like it being called- I don't feel like I'm in the right body. I don't feel like a- a girl? I mean, gender is just a construct by society and all but just as much as you say about yourself that you are a boy or man I'd like to say that I'm, I dunno, none? Non-binary in that case. I am neither a man or a woman. I just don't see either inside of me- both feel wrong, I guess?”
“Oh...”
You stared into each others eyes for a bit, you were unsure, unsure how he'd react, the little 'oh' confusing you and making you feel smaller than it should. Surprised when you felt a hand grab for yours you looked down at both your hands intertwine.
“In that case, would you like to be my partner in crime?”
At his words you couldn't help but smile.
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gacy-lajla · 5 years ago
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Kim Seokjin x Reader || Text Back
Genre: Angst
Warnings: reader is really Not Feeling It, depressed thoughts, hints of not wanting to live but not really elaborating on that, i also wrote this in one go so there’s little to no structure because i can’t keep one coherent thought for the love of my lfe
Word count: 1,055
Summary: You forgot to text Jin once you arrived home because you suddenly felt very down so he calls you instead but you block any of his attempts to make you feel better.
_________________
It was one of those days. Those which made this terrible gut feeling disappear, the one you'd have for days, just for this foreign feeling to relocate itself inside your mind. You were confused the moment it happened, you always were. Where was this coming from? Why couldn't you make it stop? There was no reason for you to feel the way you did, you knew that very well, but for some reason it was so unbelievingly hard to pull yourself back up again after stumbling down into this pit of... you couldn't even describe what exactly you were feeling. Sadness? Emptiness? No, none of those words could describe the sudden aching.
Oh, but who were you kidding. You knew precisely where this feeling was coming from, something that had build up over the past few days, even weeks, and your strong facade was finally breaking, collapsing, now that you were out of sight. Now that you were sure you were alone for the rest of the day.
Different thoughts plagued your mind as of late – how you felt as if you were never good enough. Not deserving of the people around you. But then again, did they even want to have you around? Were they pretending? You were dead weight to them, ready to be thrown off any moment.
Sitting on your bed you felt your body shake, first it was your upper legs but it quickly crawled up the rest of your body making you lean forward, face first into your mattress. A shaky breath left your mouth as you attempted to get a hold of yourself – you weren't crying, as much as you wanted to.
“Why can't I cry? I just want to let it out, please... please.”
Your voice was small but that didn't bother you, no matter how pathetic you sounded. Nobody was around to notice anyway. Staring into the mattress mere centimetres away from your eyes you waited for something to happen, for a tear to maybe finally roll down, but all your body registered was the pitch black sight in front of your nose pressed against the slowly warming bed.
You wanted someone to be beside you right now, to give you comfort.
But did you really? You'd only be a bother and they'd probably suggest you to seek for mental health which you refused. You were fine. Fine enough not to need this kind of help. You got out of this feeling more than once and you can do it again. There. You were fine.
But then again, you knew you weren't.
Flinching at the sudden brightness in the corner of your burning eyes you slowly rose your body up again, still shaking you reached for the device you barely remember discarding somewhere on the bed. Someone called you. Should you pick up? Could you? Or would your voice betray you? Pondering for a few seconds you finally registered the name glaring at you, mocking you.
Kim Seokjin. It was Jin, you just saw him today. He asked you to text you when you got back home. You forgot because usually people did not care enough to ask this of you and in all honesty – you didn't expect him to be serious about this. A weird sensation spread in your chest, it felt slimy at first but not even moments later it felt like a death grip on your heart, squeezing out a light whimper from your lips. You owed him to take the call, right? Or did he just pretend to care? Humans pretended a lot to seem like good people. But Jin was a good person... right?
“I don't want to risk him doing something else when I don't pick up”, you whispered to yourself, your free hand digging into your upper thigh over and over again as you tried to steel your nerves. You should pick up. That's what a good human would do. Apologize. Because you made him... worry.
“Hello?” Your voice seemed so loud in this small and quiet room despite it being barely above a whisper. It felt suffocating to talk.
“y/n, are you home? You didn't answer any of my texts – I thought something might have happened to you – are you okay?”
“I'm fine.” Lie. A lie that felt like a truth after saying it for years. But were these words directed at Jin or yourself?
“I'm sorry for... I'm sorry for forgetting to text back, I left my phone in my room while I was in the bathroom and didn't notice, sorry.” More lies. Why were you making this worse? He wouldn't believe you, you're so stupid for making up these lies in the first place-
“That's- good to hear. I'm glad you're fine. I really thought something bad might have happened-”
“No.” Dirty liar.
“- should I maybe check up on you daily to make sure you'll never forget texting me?”
“I- that's- no?” Please do.
“You know I'm just joking, right? Except if you want me-”
“No, it's fine.” What are you doing? You want this. Don't push him away.
“Oh, okay.”
“Yeah, uhm-” You can't take it back now, it's too late.
“Are you actually fine? You know, you actually don't sound the same like when you were still here with us.”
“I'm fine, sorry, just tired, I guess?” Tired of existing, yes. But after sleeping you'd feel good again.
“You sure? You know I meant it when I said I'd be here with you like I am for the boys, right?”
Say it. You should just say it. But you couldn't, you tried, but it felt like something was preventing you. A lump in your throat, cotton stuffed inside of your mouth. A terrible gut feeling that this could go in so many wrong directions when all you wanted is to keep this friendship untainted by your irrational feelings.
Quiet is what followed for five seconds, ten, and then twenty. You tried to breathe as quietly as you could. Should you pretend to have fallen asleep? No, it felt wrong.
“Are you still th-”
“I'm sorry”, you cut him off. You couldn't continue this talk. You faked a yawn. “I guess I should be sleeping now, I hope you don't stay up too late. Goodnight, Jin.”
You ended the call.
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gacy-lajla · 5 years ago
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bts masterlist
Key: ☀ - fluff;
        ☁ - angst;
        ♡ - romance;
        ☯ - alternate universe;
        ✎ - more to come
I try to keep the reader in all fics gender neutral so everyone can enjoy them, if the reader has a specified gender it will definitely be mentioned!
Kim Seokjin
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Imagines
Text Back -  ☁
Min Yoongi
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Coming soon!
Jung Hoseok
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Imagines
Late Epiphany - ☁
Kim Namjoon
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Imagines
Partner In Crime -  ☁ ☀
Park Jimin
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Imagines
I’m So Afraid - ☯ (Soulmates) ✎
Kim Taehyung
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Coming soon!
Jeon Jungkook
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False Alarm -  ☯ (Highschool?)
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gacy-lajla · 5 years ago
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Jung Hoseok x Reader || Late Epiphany
Genre: Angst
Warnings: mentions/references of death, loss of a loved one
Summary: After you left Hoseok realised how much you really meant to him but it's too late to confess now - he missed his chance. He missed you.
Word count: 968 words
A/N: I honestly don't know what possessed me to write this, I suddenly just wanted to write something angsty for once and now here we are. I didn't proof read so I apologize for any grammatical or logical errors, I slept for maybe thirty minutes also bts world is out and it's consuming me
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It wasn’t until you were gone did he notice how much he missed you. You were always at his side, no doubt in his mind that you’d ever leave him for whatever reason. You were always there for him, a good friend at his side, hoping for more than friendship. But the constant waiting has now ended and you just weren’t there anymore.
There was no more laughter coming from his left whenever you would settle down for a bit and talk or do something silly. He missed it. He missed your voice so much now that it wasn’t granted. Oh, he took your presence as granted, never expecting for you to be gone one day, leaving the place next to him cold and empty every time he would turn to you. Where you would be sitting.
He had to remind himself not to open your chat because his attempts in contacting you would be futile. You wouldn’t respond anymore, no matter how many messages he’d send. He wouldn’t even be left on read. How much he hoped for it to happen. Just to show that you were still somehow present. Calling would be worthless, too, you didn’t even leave a message with your voice if you’d be unavailable. And thus unavailable you were, no way of having at least one part of your soothing voice to listen to.
What was left of you were the few pictures and videos you made throughout your time spent together. And he lost count how many times he browsed through his gallery by now because memories were all that’s left of you for him now.
Hoseok wanted you back in his life but he knew there was no way to get you back. You were gone, you left him. And now that you weren’t present he felt his heart tug and tear. He felt his throat restrict every time he spoke of you, he felt his eyes burn every time he thought of you. But there were no more tears to spill, it seems like his eyes were all dried up but at the same time they threatened to break a whole new dam again. He realized too late his feelings for you and confessing now would only go to waste. There was no way you’d hear him out. He’d never know about your feelings, if you ever felt the same until you left. If you felt the same tugging, the same unbearable pain in your chest when you two laughed together as friends.
He’d like to think that you felt the same until the end. That you could’ve been happy together. The thought of it made him happy but also dragged him down at the same time. Because an ‘us’ would never happen.
“Hobi?”
He slowly rose his head at the mention of his name, a faint hope of maybe seeing your face at least one more time because he wasn’t prepared for the last time to be the final goodbye. When you left smiling. Smiling at him, perhaps? You seemed happy to have spent time with him that day and the promise of a next time was still fresh on his mind. But you never came back.
Disappointment was visible when he recognized Jimin, his hands fumbling with his phone and locking the screen which displayed a picture of you two drunkenly smiling into the camera.
“What is it?”
He didn’t mean to sound as distant as he did but he wasn’t able to retract what has been said. A visible frown was present on Jimin's face, concerned about his older friend but by now accustomed by his sudden episodic distance. He may not understand the pain his friend was going through as severely but he promised himself to never let his friend down. Of course, with your disappearance you left scars on every member and so many more, no question, but most knew that at some point it would be time for healing. Suffocating in loss was not an option.
Hoseok just needed a little longer than most. He didn’t want to accept at times that you were gone. He’d get mad at you for leaving, then be angered by himself that he just didn’t notice his feelings for you sooner so he could keep you. He didn’t let out his anger, though. Which made the mental pain so much worse but for him violence was not an option. It’s not what you’d have wanted.
He should’ve protected you. Refused to let you leave so late at night, lightly intoxicated.
“I only live two streets away”, you said. “I’ll be fine.”
Never would have anyone expected for that transporter to hit you. The sleep deprived driver drifting off road onto the sidewalk. In short – you did not survive the impact of the too fast driving vehicle on that day.
You left involuntarily. Planning how to confess to your best friend of several years the next day which would mark your birthday. It would have either been the most happy or miserable birthday. But life refused to let you know.
“Jin made dinner, he said he wants you to join because you didn’t eat anything today.”
“I’ll be right there, don’t wait for me to start. I need to change.”
With a nod Jimin left the shared bedroom and joined the others at the table.
Fixing his gaze on his phone once again he looked at the lock screen, a simple image of a sunset he took a few years prior. His eyes locked on today’s date. Its been a year and a day since you left them – left him. You’d be laughing now, probably, eating Jin's delicious birthday cake and maybe choking on it because, honestly, when you were together you were true chaotic evils.
He missed you.
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gacy-lajla · 6 years ago
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I'm So Afraid || Park Jimin x Reader (Soulmate AU)
A/N: Yoo this is my first post here on tumblr and this is also my first bts fanfiction so please go easy on me H
I also want to apologise for any grammar and/or spelling mistakes or if some sentences are hard to understand, as a non-native speaker (or writer,,) I sometimes tend to struggle with the language
You were born in a life in which soulmates existed, a person that fate expect you to be comfortable around. Most people fell in love with their soulmate, some were close friends. Some didn’t meet theirs, the reasons varied. Some simply couldn’t as for their soulmate has already died or fate didn’t assign them one. Some didn’t want to meet theirs, as they already found another person they felt happy being around. Some feared they weren’t good enough for their soulmate. And you? Well, if you could you’d definitely want to meet yours, but unlike your parents, who were bound by the red string of fate, you didn’t know what to look out for as for finding your soulmate. To bring out the pessimist – there was a possibility that you didn’t have matching half. It didn’t bother you as much as you thought it would, not knowing if you would ever meet that one other person. There were different, not so obvious types of soul binding, some shared a dream at a certain time, some felt something akin to an electric shock through their entire body the moment they touched for the first time. So there was never a way of telling if you were born a soulmate-less person or not.
“Hey, you still need to give me an answer, you know?”
You were forcefully ripped away from your train of thoughts as your friend looked up from their phone, directly staring at you. You blinked once. And twice. Then you realised that you totally forgot the actual presence of your best friend and their soulmate. But who could blame you? Usually you were the third wheel when your other friend didn’t have the time to come over so your focus wandered elsewhere.
“Right", you said, taking a quick glance at your friends soulmate and then looked at her again, before asking, “what was the question again?”
You were a little embarrassed that you missed her talking to you and your cheeks burned a little. With a sigh your friend locked their phone, placing it on their lap carefully as if it were their most priced possession.
“I asked if you wanted to go outside, you know? The thing with fresh oxygen and stuff”, your friend joked, laughing a little, earning an unimpressed look from you before bursting out laughing.
“Sure, I’m up to it. I’m just gonna use the bathroom first", you replied after you were able to catch your breath again, standing up in one quick motion, making your way to said destination. You did your thing but before you were able to stand up you found yourself blinded and, in fact, already standing. Confused you raised your hand to shield yourself from the bright light. Just as you were about to take in your surroundings something below you started to move and you felt yourself being lifted up, making you panic on the inside. Your heart sped up und you became nauseous, your senses suddenly aware of what was happening around you. Music filled your ears as well as soft singing, a language you didn’t recognize, except some English parts. There was also very loud screeching that bothered you on more than one level, lowering your hand you took in the sight in front of you. Masses of people stared at you. You felt your throat tighten, feeling as if you were to throw up any second now. Oh how you wished you were still in the bathroom by now.
Frantically you began looking to your left and right, noticing three, dare you say, really handsome men standing atop of a platform with you. And they look very familiar. And now that you listened to the music that was playing, you began to put the loose pieces together. For some reason you stood atop a stage next to V, Jungkook and Jin while the music of “The Truth Untold" played. Also, you felt very, very sick. Your eyebrows knitted together as you threw confused glances around, pinkish hair crossing your view as you moved your head.
You looked down your body. Well, what you thought was your body. Those were definitely not the clothes you put on this morning. And since when were you holding a microphone? Surprised your head shot up as you felt someone nudge you in the side, your head – wait, was this even your body? – whipped towards the person with blue hair standing to the right next to you. This was V, right? Oh goodness, this had to be some weird dream. Did you drink before going to sleep?
Noticing your puzzles look the blue haired idol pointed towards your microphone, mouthing something you didn’t understand. Was he trying to tell you something in Korean? Taking by how intently he was looking at your hand holding the microphone you assumed you had to use it. But what for? To sing? You chuckled nervously, shaking your head as you waved your hands in front of you, indicating that you were not going to do it. By now people must’ve noticed that something was off. And by the way V, or Taehyung, was not surprised to see some stranger on the stage it could only mean one thing. A phenomenon you simply refused to accept. Your soulmate indicator was not the swapping of bodies and you definitely weren’t the soulmate of an idol. Nope. Nada. There was no way.
But how come you were standing here now? Standing where Jimin was supposed to stand? And sing? And the most important question now probably was – no. This couldn’t be true. Your soulmate, Jimin, swapped bodies with you while you were using the restroom. Highly embarrassed you began to crouch down and cover your face, hitting your face with the microphone in the process. Just what you needed. Your breath became ragged as you tried not to let the tears slip. You couldn’t do this while people saw him life on a stage. Hadn’t you embarrassed him enough already by missing his parts during the song?
You felt a hand being placed on your back as the platform came down again, you didn’t notice how the other two members slowly approached you as well, exchanging worried glances. As soon as the platform stopped moving you were ushered off the stage by the three members, you hadn’t noticed that the song had ended, how could you when you buried yourself in your self doubt? You were such a pathetic soulmate. How could fate think you were a good pair?
Shaking you followed the way people pointed at, everything seemed too loud at the moment, the loud cheering, the instructions being thrown your way and even the comforting words next to you were just too loud. You couldn’t even understand what was being said as you never learned Korean. You reached a room, probably the backstage room, and people urged you to sit down. And so you did.
Taking deep breaths you didn’t dare look at any faces that were looking down on your small form, slightly crouched over as you nervously started fiddling with some rings on your fingers. They weren’t yours. This body wasn’t yours. And you were afraid. So afraid. Finally, after taking one last deep breath you looked up, staring at multiple faces, Taehyung, Jungkook and Jin were the closest to you. You noticed Jin say something, his voice sounded soothing but his words fell to deaf ears. He could be speaking to a brick wall and get more of a reaction. Biting your lower lip you glanced at the other two faces, then back to the handsome man.
“I’m sorry, but I didn’t understand a word you were just saying.”
The reactions you got were mixed, but mostly you gained surprised looks. Where was Namjoon when you needed him most? Your eyes shot to Jungkook as he said something, a light chuckle accompanying his words. You stared at him, your mouth slightly agape.
“I’m sorry, I really don’t understand. I can’t speak Korean. I’m not...”, you hesitated, the members patiently waiting, some people of the staff leaving as there seemed nothing physically wrong with you.
“I’m not Jimin.” That’s it. You said it. And you hated your gut feeling, as it made you feel more uncomfortable than ever. Shouldn’t you be happy to be up so close to the members of BTS? Well, you probably would under different circumstances.
You noticed the three boys talking to each other in hushed voices, which was a little odd, as you wouldn’t be able to understand them anyway but you just shrugged it off. How long would this body swap last? Internally groaning you hoped that your actual body had their pants on by now.
“A-ah... who are you?”
You didn’t expect to be talked to so you jumped a little in surprise. Looking at Jungkook, who had asked the question, you slowly gave them your full name. You weren’t famous by any means. Another thing that bothered you. Couldn’t fate give Jimin someone that was on his level? You didn’t think that highly of yourself. You were a passing ‘okay', nothing more.
Awkward silence followed after you told them your real name, shifting uncomfortably you waited for something – anything to happen. But it never did.
Before you knew it you were back in your original body, looking into a mirror. You were still in the bathroom, impatient knocking could be heard on the other side of the door, the voice of your friend sounded concerned but annoyed at the same time. Suddenly overcome by a rush of emotions you stormed towards the door, unlocking it and hugging your friend as tightly as you could, your tear stained face wetting your friends shirt as you began sobbing. Perplexed by your sudden outburst your friend hesitantly patted your head, whispering little encouraging words.
You soon found yourself sitting on the floor in front of the bathroom, telling your friend what you had just witnessed. Your friend seemed joyous and excited for you, telling you how great it was that you finally found your soulmate. But you were left with doubts. Were you good enough or for your soulmate? The language barrier would be one of the biggest barriers, though, if this body swap was going to continue happening.
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