#i HATE decisions i make
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BG3 Astarion x Dark Urge romance
I'm all about good ending honestly. I want to get a very best end my companions deserve because it doesn't need to be extra realistic (I already had a realistic mass effect ending with Shepard' death, thank you very much).
But sometimes I respect suffering. In my "non-canonical" BG3 mp-playthrough with my husband I want to make some bad decisions.
Ascended Astarion and Dark Urge. Just imagine that kind of hopelessness: Dark Urge escaped nautiloid, tried so hard to pull himself together, resisting his urges (with varying success), actually found the one he truly care of, fell in love and then.. all this for nothing at the end. Astarion became vampire lord with no interest to help Dark Urge to keep fighting with wicked desires. They won the battle but lose a war yet didn't understand at first. Eventually Dark Urge will lose his mind and Astarion won't even "weep wondering what's happened with his mad love", because he isn't capable to feel true feelings anymore.
Such a great sad story. So many efforts, so many hopes, one wrong turn and all is over.
At least I thought so. I wrote this before ascending ritual and saved in drafts.
Aaaand..
Now this mf became a vampire lord and my husband laughing at me for two days in a row because he's romancing Lae'zel and got this:
And I was called a pet.
Poor As'zaar, I think I heard his heart just cracked a bit. Didn't finish personal quest yet but doubt there's something worth to fight for anymore for him.
SUCH drama.
#i HATE decisions i make#my poor sweet boy#baldur's gate 3#bg3#astarion romance#astarion x dark urge#astarion x durge
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executive dysfunction really is a complete fucking nightmare. all the decisions you could make, but you won't. All the things you know you should do, you want to do, but you won't. Yeah yeah we all know it's a symptom but it feels and looks like just.... deciding not to be responsible.
It's easier not to, so i guess I just won't. I promise it's not laziness, I swear. It's not me just giving up on things that affect more than just me, I swear. Maybe if I say it enough I could hope to believe it myself.
#I need to make dinner but only decisions that lead me in the other direction are capable of having any strength#I can step back but pushing forward is completely useless#fuck me I guess. I'll just hate myself because what other choice have I been given here#problemnyatic vents#problemnyatic thoughts
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i love you royal trio (minus akechi)
#i was listening to the world we knew by frank sinatra while drawing this to inflict maximum emotional damage 😔#royal actually shot me fifty times in the chest and slaughtered my entire family#i’m actually inconsolable over the ending what the fuck do you mean akechi chooses to die of his own volition rather than be manipulated#god it’s just. his character actually makes me violent and insane. they’re going to drag me kicking and screaming to the psych ward#he never had an ounce of control over his life. not even once. he was CONSTANTLY being yanked around like a marionette#until he was disposed of as another pawn in shido’s plan#and then out of some cruel irony he was resurrected even though he did not want to be alive#for once in death he would have found peace—only for that to be taken from him too.#and bc he thinks he’s worthless and his life is so easily gambled away he doesn’t view it as a major dealbreaker when maruki brings it up#“do you really think something as trivial as my life should stand in the way of your decision?” yes you fucking asshole#what do you mean he’s literally fated to die in every timeline? definition of doomed by the narrative#there’s not a single version of his story that doesn’t end with him being slaughtered#GODDDDD he makes me violently ill i hate goro akechi so much he’s so fucking selfish HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT THIS DEAL IS TEARING ME APART#i was so tempted to get the bad ending just so that he was alive ☹️#he looked so happy. he was surrounded by people who loved and treasured him.no shido. control over his life. the ability to choose his futu#TEARS IN MY EYES MARUKI WAS THE ONLY VILLAIN WHO WAS LOWKEY MAKING SENSE 😭😭😭😭😭#my toxic trait is that i think maruki was right all along 😔#ALSO SUMIRE AAUUGGHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#the survivors guilt literally eating her alive until the point where she gaslighted herself into thinking she was her sister. insane.#royal was so good bro i’m so glad i endured 200 hours of hell just to play it#terrible terrible ending with everyone going their separate ways and ren ending up in juvie for months#akechi actually being dead in the good ending is so fucked up 😭😭 i thought there was some way maruki could bring him back regardless#not ren hallucinating him in the last cutscene too 😭😭😭😭 “i still see your shadows in my room” ahh ending#persona 5 royal#persona 5#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#sumire yoshizawa#goro akechi#lotus draws
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something something Jason was doomed the moment his mother named him
#fanart#Percy jackson#jason grace#percy jackson fanart#percy pjo#pjo fanart#jason grace they could never make me hate you#jason grace fanart#jason grave#jason pjo#pjo hoo#heroes of olympus#forgive me this is just a wip#I just wanted to draw Jason being angsty#hoo#pjo fandom#thinking about the way Jason and Percy’s moms named them for very different reasons and about who they were named after#and about how even outside of a narrative standpoint that decision affected them both#pjo hoo toa
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I realize now I've never really had anyone. not really. nothing that compares to you.
#astarion#astarion baldurs gate#astarion ancunin#bg3#baldur's gate 3#tavstarion#yeah i'm still using that tag#will i ever colour any of these i hear you ask#no#not pictured: in about 2 seconds she's going to spin around and point at mallus thorm and say “kys :)” and then he's gonna.#its funny to me that astarion hates clowns but then he falls for perhaps the biggest clown of them all. bard tav.#uh oh lads lolth's chosen is falling for the vampire spawn and they're both making awful terrible power grab decisions#pina art
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this is the stupidest crossover possible but I want Tim to make House his doctor
yes that House
why? He needs someone who is very good, will not give up or send Tim out to a different specialist just because his medical condition is difficult, will not be overly concerned about the danger Tim puts himself in, and will lie on Tim's medical records AND to Batman/Bruce Wayne/all of the Bats without hesitation or fear.
House is and will do all of those things without hesitation. He has no shame, no boundaries, he WILL get into a public fight with Bruce Wayne if it means keeping that man out of his patient's (and House's) business. He will help Tim lie to and gaslight the rest of his family without hesitation.
in exchange, Tim is his favorite patient. Not because they get along, necessarily, Tim is a know-it-all little shit and they constantly bicker and House hates how practically every facet of Tim's existence is a lie (and Tim thinks House is a smug know-it-all jackass who is needlessly cruel and callous bc he thinks the world owes him and never delivers just bc he's in pain, news flash a lot of people are in pain and manage not to be assholes) BUT, 1, Tim brings him really interesting cases and problems, and 2, Tim NEVER lies to House about his medical conditions or what he was doing when they happened.
He lies about literally almost everything else under the sun TO everyone else, but he is 100% completely upfront and honest about his medical history and what is going on with him with House.
admittedly it takes a while for House to realize Tim ISN'T lying to him because some of the shit he says is completely insane ("the vigilante thing is pretty obvious but what do you MEAN you got the Apocalypse virus TWICE, AND SURVIVED, AS A FOURTEEN-FIFTEEN YEAR OLD")
but once he realizes Tim doesn't ever lie to him, he becomes House's favorite patient because at least TIM gives him all of the data he needs as best he's able the moment he asks. At least House doesn't have to waste his time following up on bogus information or figuring out the truth, he can just get right into the meat of the medical issue at hand.
also it's so fun to lie directly to Batman's face, know the man knows, and know he can't do anything about it
#tim drake#house md#I just think it would be funny#not sure how he'd feel about the rest of the family#he and Damian would not get along well#he and Jason might#Dick and Duke are too 'nice' for his tastes#he's not afraid of Cass#probably doesn't like her that much either tbh#he doesn't like that she can read him#and then just tells people when he's lying or in pain#she means well but lies are protective and help keep some things private#and he doesn't like being scrutinized#Jason is probably his favorite because they're both assholes#and Jason can actually rile Tim up and bully him (affectionately)#he hates Bruce so much#the man's need for control vs House's utter hatred of being controlled#Bruce keeps trying to steal or look at Tim's records without his permission#even though Tim is an adult and can make his own decisions#House gets ferally protective over Tim because this is HIS patient and Bruce is a fucking JACKASS#they probably do end up in a public fight at some point#because Bruce needs to keep a public face while House does not#Stephanie and Jason watch while eating popcorn#in Tim's room#Stephanie and House are largely ambivalent towards each other#they lob insults as greetings and leave it at that
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james Tiberius Kirk is pro choice and pro contraceptives just fyi
#i cannot believe this made it into to the episode#this was 1969#i feel like a lot of people see kirk as this over macho all american chauvinist (william shatners fault)#buts hes actually this bad ass bureaucracy-hating space explorer who makes all his decisions with kindness and equality in mind#and i love him#and obviously this show is flawed and dated because it was made 60 YEARS AGO#anyway kirk is beautiful and i adore him#star trek tos#jim kirk#star trek#spock#tos
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hehe ghost-turbo haunting felix au
turbo is connected to the last piece of his code in the whole arcade - a trophy he gifted to felix in mid 80s as a symbol of him genuinely caring about their relationships on par with being the best racer. felix also gave him one of his medals and both kept their gifts next to other rewards, but when roadblasters and turbotime were unplugged, the medal was gone with everything else
now, after burning in cola-lava turbo is basically dead, but scraps of his code still were intertwined with the trophy (after all, it was his first winner's cup, but felix never knew about it), giving turbo an opportunity to exist as a shadow incapable of interacting with anything and anyone besides felix, who kept the trophy even after the roadblasters incident
also I went crazy in tags, feel free to check them out
#turbo#turbotastic#fix it felix jr#80s boyfriends#hammertastic#headcanon about them exchanging their trophies isn't mine but i loved it A LOT#and “darling” is turbo making fun of how felix was calling him in 80s#this hc about “doll” and “darling” pet names also is not mine but i adore it#turbo here is a complete freak who just stays around felix most of the time even when felix has moments with calhoun#and felix is an ass who keeps secrets from everyone bc he doesn't want his dirt to come out#he's ashamed of his previous relationship with turbo and doesn't want anyone to know any details#and calhoun to just know about it#this just gets worse and worse#they also didn't actually break up and were still technically dating when turbo went gamejumping#and he's mad af at felix because he's the reason ppl in the acrade made a boogeyman out of turbo and he couldn't come back#like imagine your bf says to you what you are better than others think of you#and then behind your (presumably dead) back tells everyone that you're just an egocentric maniac#i believe turbo has other reasons why he gamejumped (besides jealousy which took place but wasn't the most important reason)#and felix is an unreliable narrator#so yeah turbo HATES his ass#(but still would-) no im not making it suggestive#anyway i hc that turbo had put A LOT of emotions in this relationship even tho he's bad at this#he tried his best with felix but they were just making each other worse#and turbo while feeling betrayed never really moved on (yes even after 25 years he's PATHETIC)#and felix is just full of regret about everything but he won't admit his mistakes in his relationship with turbo#bc “well he turned out to be a bad person so that automatically makes me in the right about everything”#but felix had made a lot of bad decisions while dating turbo and was just classically ignorant about a ton of things#sorry about this random ass essay in tags i'm done for now#wreck it ralph#wir
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Yuuji: Bye, im going to the fire nation!
Sukuna: Not dressed like you aren't.
Proceeds to give Yuuji a boob window in his clothes
ngl anon i took this bit way too seriously n got carried away thinking abt what yuuji's fire nation alternate fit would look like ,, then after figuring it out I thought well now I /have/ to draw air as well ....
jjk atla!au with @philosophiums
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#itadori yuuji#yuuji#fanart#jjk fanart#jjk atla!au#atla!au: art#atla!au: design#lmhs#answered#anonymous#my sandbox my design i make the rules yuuji hates th air acolyte clothes. i decided bc i didnt like drawing him in them GHSDFH#its in character fr him !! he likes clothing he cn roll n brawl n thrash around in#theres too many layers n folds with those robes th poor boy is gna get tangled :(((((#hes right at home in th fire nation getup tho :D !!#still probably not *exactly* to sukuna's standards but hopefully he appreciates th deep v#its more yuuji coded i think#tho tbh ?? if u take off sukuna's..what even is that a chest piece? pauldrons?? either way if u take those off its just a low cut robe also#sukuna voice u know brat maybe we're not so different u and i#side note i 100% stand by our decision 2 make yuuji a born earthbender but *clenches fist* yuuji in red.............#i love u i miss u#tho in green he gives sakuramochi and i think thats beautiful in its own way
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primal perry is such a fun episode for a variety of reasons but I don't think people give enough attention to the backyard plot and that is baljeet is multiplying at a concerning rate and is probably about to murder buford to death
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The thing I love about Fabian as a character is that he is currently living the life that people write Sad Steve Harrington fics about but we will never get to see the intense angst scenes in those fics because he’s being played by the worlds most committed to the bit comedian so instead of ever unpacking any of that he eats animals organs raw.
#he honestly is just making Fabian even more teenage boy with all this I love it and hate it equally#this isn’t a critique btw I would like more angst but also lou is the player of all time and I love when he makes decisions#fabian aramais seacaster#fabian seacaster#fantasy high junior year#fantasy high#dimension 20
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twice aziraphale has gone to heaven while crowley stays behind on earth…
[ID: A drawing of Crowley from Good Omens. The drawing is split in half horizontally. In the top half, he sits on the floor with a hand over his crying face. Plants surround him in front of a grey background, and wine bottles sit at his feet. In the bottom half, Crowley sits upside down on the floor of Aziraphale’s bookshop. The bookshop is in flames, and Crowley looks upward while crying. /End ID]
+ some closeups below cut
#I DO NOT want ANY aziraphale hate on this post#i still love my angel!! he made a decision that makes sense for his character!! no hate for him!!#will be doing a piece of zira being sad too. isnt it lonely and what not#my art#good omens#Crowley#crowley good omens#anthony j crowley#anthony janthony crowley#good omens spoilers#good omens 2#ineffable husbands#ineffable spouses#good omens art
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My love for Logan aside, you have to give him credit for the fact that he ALWAYS kept his cool. Literally when they announced another driver for 2025 he uploaded photos of his vacation without mentioning that they literally replaced him with another rookie and yet he remained calm and incredibly respectful and even now he still doesn't say anything about everything that happened at Williams.
And in my opinion he handles more questions from journalists much better (You probably know who I'm referring to with that line)
#logan sargeant#f1#They will never be able to make me hate Logan#Logan is honestly someone amazing#anti james vowles#Btw#I don't hate Carlos or Colapinto I understand that they both do their job#I just hate Williams' horrible decisions
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And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.
#ffxiv#sketch#wol#meteor survivor#zenos yae galvus#adventurer zenos#oh no#its the consequences of his actions#everything is fine until the only man on the star you care about looks at you with the same contempt your father did#(Meteor's not doing it intentionally- its a reflex after he comes back for quite a bit)#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all#and no- its not him regretting anything that had to do with varis- just him regretting the thought meteor could look at him like that#little does Meteor know he's emotionally bodying the man he's trying to be cordial with#its a little okay because in how I write adventurer zenos this serves as one of his main wake-up calls to make some changes#and realizing both the mistakes he's made with meteor and that meteor hating him in any way is actually -not at all- what he wants#but not okay on the end that every time meteor does this he has to watch zenos actively dissociate right in front of him#until zenos just kinda autopilots and walks away#the second time (or perhaps third) in the last 11 years that zenos has felt regret to any major capacity-#on meteor's end I just enjoy seeing the progression of the WoL through subtext#and why meteor is willing to even entertain the idea despite how much he hates zenos- his decisions and the path he's walked#is the realization that there is high chance that he could actually be a direct catalyst for zenos' growth#and the realization the wol has that they were the only one zenos has ever genuinely reached out to#besides- i just like the idea of having your equal other half fighting back to back with you- or being able to handle threats you cant#and i find their dynamic neat- of meteor not forgiving zenos but giving him his last chance- and growing to enjoy being around him#and zenos being able to work on moving past being the weapon or the monster- finding the connections he's longed for#and giving himself purpose to finally truly just live- for him to learn to experience and have the freedom to find what he enjoys#(and curiously him having estinien's brand of accidently helping people even in StB gives me ideas...)#but enough tag ranting- ill get to zenos' actual adventuring in another post lol
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Your fears that you don't have a body that will transition "well" are, sure, understandable, but there isn't truly such thing as a body that's unworthy of transition. Perhaps your changing body won't suit everybody's taste, but would you rather live for yourself or for the whims of random people who don't care about your happiness as long as they're attracted to what they see?
Transition is for anybody who wants it. It's okay to be fearful. It's okay to be uncertain. But it isn't the end of the world. You are in control, and if you choose to transition to any capacity, it should be at your behest. You and your body are worthy of transition. I hope you are able to seize transition and do what you truly want for yourself.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#have been seeing a small resurgence in some trans spaces that there is such thing as an 'untransitional' body#there are people out there who cannot transition for medical/financial/social reasons but that isn't what people often mean#kill the person in your head that says you need to adhere to cishet standards. it's okay to be trans and *look* it if you want#transition because it makes you feel happy or fulfilled. transition because it is something *you* want#while yes it's complex because appearing trans can be dangerous i ultimately want people to have the freedom to make decisions solely...#...on what *they* want y'know?#i have seen this idea that some people just aren't 'able' to transition because they won't 'appear cis' for years now and it's heartbreaking#like i used the whole 'i don't look cis' against myself because it's impossible for me *to be* cis...#...i will never be non-trans. i will never not be a transsexual and i used to hate that about myself...#...because i was taught that being trans is bad. i was taught that looking trans is a curse that nobody should EVER inflict upon themselves#and that the goal was to essentially distance yourself as far away from transness as you can#and it's okay for people to not want to 'look' visibly trans. it's neutral. what was harmful was the idea that TRANS was bad#there's a huge difference between 'i don't want to be visibly trans' and 'i think being trans and looking it is bad'
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because i am who i am (annoying abt ro always) i have this clip saved from when the orbital was being built of zam and minute very VERY briefly considering the idea that ro might betray them before ultimately brushing it off as "nah he wouldnt" and moving on.
now the interesting thing abt this clip To Me is that both minute and zam immediately discard the idea that ro could betray while mapicc is the one whos like "i could see him doing that", albiet very quietly which is why the topic is dropped so fast but i do find it rly funny and interesting that the person who arguably trusts/understands ro the most in the call (and on the server tbh) fully acknowledges that bc of who ro is, its entirely a possibility that he full betrays for fun or for content purposes while the two people who seem to doubt ro's loyalty and trustworthiness to anyone who Isnt mapicc dont consider the possibility of him betraying for more than 5 seconds max
the whole concept of "trust" on ls is just so interesting to me bc again . to older lsers, trust isnt abt never disagreeing w ur friend or teammate Ever and supporting every single thing they do, its about reliability and consistency in who u are. mapicc trusts zam, ro, and even spoke to an extent spanning across multiple seasons bc he knows them. he understands who they are, their morals, what they have fun w and what they need in a team, and their reasonings/logic behind the things that they do.
this is why he teams w zam in every season (bc he is reliable and fun to be around), why he always ends up teaming w spoke despite acknowledging that you should never EVER fully trust him if u have half a braincell (bc hes fun and mapicc knows what to expect), and why he Always ends up friends w ro in some shape or form (bc his loyalty and reliability is consistent when it matters most. he is also just fun LMFAO)
it isnt about always expecting them doing things he always like or what he wants, its abt the fact that he has fun w them. he cares about them, and they care about him in turn. he has spent the time w them to fully understand them which is why his relationship w all three of them has remained so consistent throughout the years— bc he always knows what to expect w them!! regardless of if theyre his enemies or his teammates or simply his allies, theyre people he is able to come to for fun and sillies no matter what bc they are his friends
like newer people (mainly derap and kab tbh) see the relationship older ls people have and want a relationship like that of their own but thats exactly why they havent had that yet. bc they dont understand How the relationship dynamic works on a fundamental level, they think its about unconditional support No Matter What and loyalty to one person and one person alone but its just. not that. like every player is their own person w their own thoughts, principals, feelings, and morals. like zam left team awesome and eclipse fed despite his very real love for both teams bc he couldnt agree w their morals. mapicc hated ro's teammates in s5 but never EVER expected him to choose or to leave his team to stay friends w him. like they are all their own people who have their own boundaries and the respect they have developed for each other throughout the seasons is why their relationships have become so stable and consistent throughout the seasons.
#lifesteal#video#mapicc#prince zam#minutetech#roshambogames#duality duo#devotion duo#devious duo#also sry for the bad quality clip#my phone always kills the quality when i record clips LOL#but yeah like watching s5 vods had me thinking abt the idea of trust on ls and what it means#like ash CONSTANTLY trying to make ro choose and treating him w such hostility over his relationship w mapicc#while mapicc never EVER made ro choose “its me or them.” despite how much he hated ro's team#bc he respects ro as a person who can make his own decisions and still be friends w him#it rly reminded me of derap#how he constantly pushes zam to choose despite how unfair it is#and how he only stopped after hed felt like he already “lost”#even though like he didnt??? relationships are unique to each individual and if he respected zams boundaries and decisions#hed realize zam doesnt Need to choose between him and mapicc bc hes his own person#a person who chooses to love them both
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