#and zenos is getting bodied because its been a while since... you know... him being able to really feel anything at all

[fatedroses]

And some days, I just wish you wouldn't look at me at all.

[sheepwithspecs]

I’ve had this concept in my head for a while now where my WoL accidentally wishes for Zenos to get a second chance at life and the dynamis (along with Stigma-4) fulfill this wish in Elysion. Zenos basically becomes a little dynamis guy who is conveniently stuck in UT thanks to his new body, forced to learn lessons about being a better person through interactions with WoL and the patrons of the Last Dregs.

I can’t even call it a redemption arc because unfortunately Eachna truly is his mirror and so she’s not going to be teaching him how to hold hands and feel guilt for his actions. Her main goal is to show him that life is more than mere existence, and that fleeting moment he was chasing for so long can be found in the company of like-minded people (dare she say... friends?)

Anyway if I’m going to read wolzenos I might as well write it myself. In the meantime have Eachna suffering because she’s too polite to tell Jammingway she doesn’t like carrots.

“Isn’t it a dream come true?” Jammingway gushed. “Even the Nibirun have settled in and made themselves at home. I even caught one laughing the other day—laughing! It’s better than I could have ever imagined; the place practically runs itself. Not that I need you taking that as another sign to hibernate,” they added, glancing accusingly at N-7000.

“Fret not. Hibernation is not within this unit’s near future.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Eachna laughed. “All of it, really.” Turning, she looked again at the patrons enjoying their meals. The golden light blurred and she blinked in surprise, reaching up to find that tears were building at the corners of her eyes. She swallowed back the lump in her throat, heart pounding almost painfully in her chest.

Thanks to Meteion, she had suffered alongside these people. She had watched their destruction, felt their anguish, mourned their deaths. Their undying despair had wrenched her heart in twain more than once during her journey to the center of the dying sun. Some had inspired pity, others anger. But every last one of them had been in immeasurable pain. Even the Nibirun, who chose peaceful death over a life with no purpose, had been in pain.

To see them now, knowing where they had once been…. Jammingway was right: it was a dream come true. They deserved this second chance at life, to make right the wrongs which had led to their destruction. They deserved to learn and grow, to achieve happiness for its own sake. She turned her eyes to the vast star above the café, the wellspring of pain that had served as Metion’s nest. How many memories remained inside, trapped by the twisted dynamis of their own despair?

I want them all to have this second chance. Every last one of them.

“And anyway,” Jammingway prattled on, oblivious to her musings, “since you’re here, I thought we might have a picnic! I packed all the best foods the café has to offer. We have carrot soup, carrot salad, carrot juice, carrot cake—”

“Oh… erm, that’s… that’s great!” Eachna managed a smile, brows knitted in consternation. “I’m sure it’ll be delicious.”

“Unlike some annoying life-forms, this unit took allied unit Eachna’s satisfaction rate into account when choosing sustenance.”

“Hey! What are you saying?” Jammingway fumed. “Eachna loves carrots just as much as I do! Don’t you?”

“I don’t hate carrots, per se….”

“Allied unit Eachna’s average carrot consumption does not exceed one half of her nutritional intake. As such, this unit took the liberty of adding—” N-7000 trailed to a stop, hovering silently with one arm outstretched.

“With what!? Just what have you added?” Jammingway insisted, stomping their feet. “If you’ve squashed my carrot cake by crowding the basket, I’m going to be very cross!” 

[zenodreemurr]

Clearing confusion

Recently, I have found out that people believe that Celerity!Sans has determination. I do not know why they believe so but I will make everything clear to avoid future confusion. First of all, you need to know that Monsters do not naturally have determination in Xénotale. The only Monster born with determination in this AU is Undyne, due to her half-Monster half-determination soul. Some Monsters have gotten determination through other means. In the eidocide route, Papyrus absorbs determination and somehow survives to it. Alphys takes a fragment of each one of the six Human souls, each containing a bit of determination. Gaster just entered in contact with determination, which is what made his skull melt a bit. You could argue that Flowey is a Monster, and yes, he’s born out of determination (among other things). To finish, while nobody makes such a misconception, the determined guard and the soular knights do not have determination. For the soular knights, it’s due to the making process of their artificial souls. This same process is what allowed the determined guard to make his determination staff, though it is merely a weapon. If he were to accidentally give himself determination with it, he would entirely melt. Anyways, Sans has never absorbed determination like Papyrus did in the eidocide route. In conclusion, he never got determination that way. My second point is that LOVE has no relationship with determination. People have been telling me that since Celerity has an extreme amount of LOVE, he has an extreme amount of determination. No, this is wrong. As explained in Xénotale: Celerity, an increase in LOVE is what you get when you get a sufficient amount of EXP (to make it simple). EXP by itself is a form of matter that comes into existence when EBM (EXP Basis Matter) is converted because of its transfer from one body to another, often due to death. When death happens, both EBM and EXP is transferred, which may lead in a LOVE increase. EBM/EXP and determination are two entirely distinct forms of matter, which is why Celerity’s LOVE doesn’t influence his determination. My third point is definitely something most people do not remember, but Celerity has an ability called DT Extraction, which allows for him to temporarily remove one’s determination. One could believe that since he extracts DT from its user, he actually gets it. No, he doesn’t. It’s just a removal, not an absorption. Even if this was an absorption-based ability, I highly doubt it would work on Celerity’s side. He would still not get it. One may argue that due to the backstory of his soul (the soul of celerity), he actually has determination in itself. This is my last point, and this one is a bit more complicated. To understand, I need to remind you all of the backstory of this soul. -A long time ago, Zeno extracted his soul from his body and it separated itself into four fragments. -Zeno took the polychromatic fragments and kept it with himself, not knowing what to do with it. -He eventually let the polychromatic fragment be in the royal laboratory. -When he eventually found out what to do with it and when it came time to do the thing, he took the polychromatic fragment, turned it into a complete soul, and gave it special properties. He then gave the soul to Celerity, in replacement of his old Monster soul. So, of course, I can see why one would think that since he has the soul of a Human-Monster hybrid (or at least a fragment of it), he has a soul with determination in it. According to Undertale: The Ultimate Timeline lore, this is completely wrong. In Undertale: The Ultimate Timeline, all observations on determination were made on the souls of dead beings, giving the Monsters the belief that the determination was coming from the Human souls. A fact, discovered at some point, is that determination is actually a brain product, always keeping itself near the brain and interacting fine with it. Determination keeps existing for extended periods of time as long as the brain is active, since this is one of the two only places it can keep existing for eternity in. However, when a Human’s brain dies, the determination, as if it were alive (though it is not), flees into the only other place it can keep existing for eternity in, that is, the soul. This is why determination is found in the souls of dead Humans in Undertale: The Ultimate Timeline. Extracting a soul from a living Human would lead to a lack of determination, instead only having its soul power. The determination soul by itself only increases the amount of determination the brain produces in that AU, and would theoretically help Monsters survive to the existence of determination in their body. There’s more to this lore, such as why Monsters do not have determination, why they can’t handle it, and why Undyne still has determination, but I will not reveal this for the moment. What you need to remember is that the polychromatic fragment of Zeno’s soul never contained determination in the first place, and as such, Celerity never had determination in his soul. Celerity’s lack of determination can be seen in story, as to get orders, he either needs to directly go to the headquarters of Zeno’s organization, or he needs to have a telepathic communication with Zeno (which happens often). This second need wouldn’t exist if he had determination, as he could simply be contacted by The Voice. The very fact that he is contacted by Zeno instead of The Voice should be a good enough proof that Celerity doesn’t have determination. I hope this clears this misconception. Have a good day.

[kiame-sama]

28 Years (5th Pregnancy)- Yandere!Silva x Reader

Warnings; yandere relationship, yandere tendencies, yandere behavior, yandere, mention of past trauma, pregnancy, c-section, more arguing, vasectomy, Zeno is so done with his son's bullshit

"No. We are not doing this again. I won't allow it!" "Hey, I told you how to fix this from ever happening again." "I did use protection. It clearly didn't work." "I didn't say 'use protection' did I? I said you should get a vasectomy since it's clear that regular protection and emergency medication doesn't work!" "I shouldn't have to-"

"ENOUGH!"

You and Silva fell silent at the firm and loud command from Zeno, looking over at the frustrated elder assassin. He happened to be holding young Alluka in his arms while the infant whined and cried from all the noise, compelling you to take the young child and set to comforting the infant. Alluka quickly quieted once in your grasp and allowed you to return your attention to the matter at hand, the new heartbeat that originated from within you.

You had been trying to avoid a third pregnancy given your prior back-to-back pregnancies and your already fragile health, yet here you were with another infant growing within you. You assumed something like this would happen, given your past attempts with contraceptives and how little they actually worked. Naturally, you suggested Silva have a vasectomy as it was not only a surefire way, but also a reversible surgery.

Originally, you suggested getting your tubes tied despite the danger that came with it but Silva quickly shot down the idea with his usual explanation of not wanting to lose you. Silva knew somewhere in him that the typical contraceptives wouldn't work, given the fact that he had used several similar methods to trigger a termination of prior pregnancies you were unaware of. He had hoped in some way that your body hadn't built up a resistance to them, but he also knew it was going to happen eventually.

He did plan on undergoing a vasectomy when you had first suggested it, but he quickly forgot about it in favor of getting to finally fuck you senseless now that your body had somewhat recovered after your most recent pregnancy. He had just been so relieved you were able to be brought back from your cardiac arrest following his mistake of once again taking your child away, and couldn't help himself from indulging in his favorite pass-time; fucking you. It was clear to everyone how addicted Silva was to you, in the way he would always return to your side after a job, how he would guard you jealously from anyone other than himself.

He was so whipped for you.

But now, you had a serious choice to make for your future and the future of the life already growing within you. It wasn't hard to guess what Silva wants to have happen, and some part of you agreed after enduring all that you had. Yet... You still felt that maternal connection already forming, wanting to protect all of your children from Silva, even the new child within you that had yet to take even a first breath.

"You're not keeping it." "Yes, I am." "No. I won't tolerate this again!" "Good thing you aren't the one who has to tolerate it. Last time I checked, its my body that goes through all the strain and effort of pregnancy, not your’s." "Are you doing this just to hurt yourself? To try and exhaust your body to the point of death?" "... Again, last time I checked, I wasn't the cause of my heart stopping." "..."

Silva stood silently, passive expression on his face as he wrestled with his own mind over the matter at hand. On one side, you were right; he was the reason he almost lost you, he's been the reason every single time. Even if it was complications during birth, it was still his fault entirely for getting you pregnant in the first place. On the other, he knew the immense toll another pregnancy will have on your body and the chances of you dying during birth increased with each one. The odds were not good.

It was then Silva spoke, his voice gentle and not at all like what you were expecting him to growl out with. It was the voice you scarcely heard on those far and few between days Silva would be truly gentle in every way, usually reserved for when he decided to honestly apologize to you for something. He was proud and cold, but there were those moments when that pride was set aside, when he would actually explain how he felt instead of leaving it at short sentences that never offered answers.

"(Y/n), don't do this again. Don't stubbornly hold on to this one. I know you already love it, as you love all of our children, and you will always fight for their safety no matter what, but for once you need to let me win. Let it go." "... If I say 'no', will you take it from me anyway?" "(Y/n)..." "Are you going to take my baby away from me again, Silva?" "..."

A soft sigh left Silva's lips as he frowned, knowing you were going to win the argument regardless of what he said or did. He knew he owed you more than he could give and there was no way he would force you to give the child up. If you truly wanted to keep it, he wouldn't be able to convince you otherwise. Still didn't mean he had to like it.

"There is no sense in saying the obvious or telling you the risks you run having another baby so soon after your two prior pregnancies." "I know..."

Zeno hummed in a contemplative way, knowing Silva would refuse to go out on a job while you are pregnant and he had already refused to leave the Zoldyck estate in favor of keeping an eye on you. Given how intensely and fiercely he protected you, Zeno knew the immense toll the pregnancies have taken on Silva as well as you. But no one in the family wanted a repeat of the events that took place after Silva had taken Alluka away from you without telling you.

It was going to be a long eight months.

~~~~Four Months~~~~

"You need to sleep, (y/n)." "But what if something happens?" "Nothing is going to happen." "You don't know that..."

Silva frowned as he watched you pace in front of the couch in your shared rooms, chewing on your lip as you cradled your youngest in your arms. The child had already fallen asleep in your arms an hour ago, yet you still held on securely and refused to set your baby down for even a moment. Silva had seen the way you reacted to Illumi being taken and the subsequent over protective behavior you showed once you got him back in your arms.

Your behavior now was similar to how you behaved then, refusing to let your infant out of your sight to the point of impacting your health negatively. Silva knew you were reacting the way you were because of how he had managed to take Alluka from you in the first place. He had taken Alluka while you were sleeping even though you slept with the infant swaddled in a pile of blankets in your arms, so now you refused to sleep in fear Alluka would disappear from your arms once again.

Now he had to face the lasting consequences of his actions in the form of soothing you to the point of trusting him once more. It was going to take a while, however, as Silva had broken your already fragile trust yet again by stealing away your newborn, so it was unlikely he would be able to get you to trust him completely any time soon. Instead of the trust he once had, he had to watch you slip away into anxiety driven behavior due to his careless and selfish behavior.

It was driving him mad to watch you slip into such frenzied behavior, especially given the fact that you were enduring your third pregnancy in a row. Not only did you need sleep now more than ever, but you also had been refusing food in favor of feeding Alluka instead. It infuriated Silva to no end, as he had no choice but to let your anxious behavior play out until you calmed down once more. He wasn't going to chance doing anything that may be upsetting to you, but that also meant he wasn't going to force you to rest no matter how much he wanted to.

"At least sit down, (y/n)." "With you? No. No, not again." "I swear to you, I won't take-" "You've said that before, and it didn't stop you from taking Alluka away from me." "I'm aware I made a mistake, but I assure you-" "No."

It was going to be a long four months until you gave birth again and potentially trusted him once more.

~~~~Six Months~~~~

You hummed as you looked down at where your darling Alluka slept, curled up and held securely in the arms of Illumi. Silva had reached a breaking point when it came to your anxious and stressed behavior, deciding to allow Illumi to be by your side consistently so you would finally relax and get some much needed sleep. The presence of your eldest nearby did wonders to soothe you, trusting in your son to take care of his little sibling and keep Silva from stealing the infant away.

Though Silva disliked the fact that he had to share your attention and affection with his eldest son, the alternative was far worse in his opinion. You had gotten to the point of rarely sleeping so you could ensure Silva could not steal your baby away, draining yourself immensely in the process to the point you were not only rapidly losing weight, but you were becoming far less coordinated by the day. When enough was enough, he consulted his father on what his next step should be and the answer was obvious; let Illumi help take care of your wellbeing.

Your eldest practically jumped at the chance to spend unlimited amounts of time with you, not even perturbed by the fact that he had to take care of his youngest sibling. An extra cot was added into the bedroom, allowing Illumi to be present for around the clock assistance in child-care and to give you the added comfort of having your most trusted son nearby. You ensured to teach him how to properly hold an infant and how to soothe Alluka's fussing relatively quickly, only strengthening your motherly bond with Illumi by allowing you to put full faith in him with Alluka's well-being.

For once, Silva's plan worked like a charm. Not only did you finally start catching up on the rest you needed, you began to eat your meals with Illumi and therefore began to eat regularly once more. Along with your physical health, your mental health began to improve as well. You started smiling and talking more, resting with surprising ease in the arms of the very man you refused to so much as blink around only weeks prior.

Thanks to your teachings, Illumi was a rather brilliant nanny in your stead. Alluka would hardly make a peep when held in the comforting arms of Illumi and similarly, Illumi would make little to no noise while caring for his sibling. Even if he had more responsibilities with taking care of Alluka, Illumi wouldn't trade that time for anything in the world. He could spend time with you, talk with you, relax in your maternal love and affection.

Truly it was a win for all three of you. Alluka was always cared for. Illumi was finally able to spend more time with you. You were able to relax for the first time in who knows how long. Even Silva had relatively few losses, given how much more affectionate you were with him now you knew your infant was safe.

~~~~Eight Months~~~~

Silva paced outside of the delivery room, looking up almost every minute to check the time before resuming his endless pacing. He was much like a caged lion or bear, pacing just to pass the time and to do something other than sit still. He certainly was far more dangerous than any of those animals combined, only serving to add a rather pointed reminder to any doctor of what their fate would be should they fail.

But that was the whole purpose of this endeavor, to ensure nothing failed. Surely nothing could have gone wrong with all the precautions that were put into place.

Surely.

Either way, the long time it was taking only served to make Silva more anxious and his presence all the more intimidating. It in truth had only been a few hours since you went under so the doctors could perform a c-section to safely deliver what would be your fifth child. After the close calls with both Killua and Alluka as well as the fact this was your third back-to-back pregnancy, Silva wanted to take no chances with your life.

A c-section was how Killua and Alluka ultimately had to be delivered despite the fact you were able to have a 'typical' birth with Illumi and Milluki, so naturally it would only make sense for your fifth child to be delivered via c-section. It didn't sit well with Silva, however. Nothing would sit well with him until you were safely out of surgery and in his arms.

But what was taking so damn long?

"For fuck's sake, Silva, sit down. Pacing doesn't make it go faster and intimidating the doctors will only make it more likely for them to mess up." "Their lives are forfeit if they so much as make a single mistake." "And they know this. They've known this. All you're doing is adding another element no one wants to deal with."

Despite his father's chiding words, Silva continued to pace and glare at nothing in particular. Where it always seemed as if the man had a scowl on his face, it seemed ten times worse given he was actually scowling. The moment the door opened, Silva was pushing past the frightened doctor and into the room where his wife lay motionless.

For a moment, Silva felt an honest pang of fear in his chest when he saw you were not awake, the ever present beep of the EKG soothed him to know you were still alive and merely unconscious. The doctors all scattered like frightened rats, scurrying away from the intimidating mountain of a man who silently pulled up a chair, sitting by your side and refusing to take his eyes off of you.

Zeno, Maha, Milluki, and Illumi entered the room in a much calmer manner as they also came to stand around you. Alluka had been moved into Zeno's care given the impending delivery of the new addition to the family, and Illumi stood ready to receive the newborn and care for it while you recovered. Everyone had been preparing for the newborn in their own way, from the butlers ensuring the utmost safety to Zeno taking over Alluka's care, it seemed everything was finally prepared for and taken into account.

Meanwhile, in the past month, Silva had finally undergone a vasectomy so there would be no further chance of yet another pregnancy threatening your future with him. It was possible that it could be reversed and so it was the only surefire way no unexpected pregnancy would happen again. Where Silva felt he would have no reason to reverse the change since he already had five children, the option was always still available should something ever come up.

Perhaps finally there could be peace in the house. At least, peaceful enough no sudden pregnancy could threaten your life. Now all that needed to happen was getting the new infant out before Silva could finally have you all to himself once again.

He could wait. He could wait as long as he needed to. Because in the end, you would always be his.

[mianavs]

disclosing the truth

part 4 of Cathexis

a/n: a big reveal and another dangerous encounter with our favorite magician. plenty of Illumi to come in the next part

tw: smut

wc: 3k+

Cathexis

A night of fitful sleep awaited you after stripping off your dress, shoes, and makeup. Illumi visited your dreams that night, the way he usually did, except the dream was different. Your dreams of Illumi usually consisted of him walking beside you but, other times, he imprisoned you in the basement of his family’s estate on Kukuroo Mountain. This time was different in that you were in your current bed, immobile, and staring at him as he approached you. Illumi stoically reached out and brushed a lock of hair from your face while you stared utterly petrified. His hand traveled south until you felt a sharp pain behind your neck that blurred your vision and all you could make out was a cruel smile on Illumi’s beautiful face.

It was your last day at Heaven’s Arena. A call from your mother had come in that morning and you were summoned for a reunion back home. Immediately following her call, Hisoka called and asked to meet with you claiming it was important. While the little stunt he’d pulled the day before with his bloodlust had shaken you up, your impulsiveness overpowered your judgement and you agreed to meet him over lunch.

On the way to the café, your senses heightened and an overwhelming desire to not meet Hisoka overcame you. You pushed past your discomfort and approached the table where the magician sat. His smile was unusually genuine when you sat down but you matched it to the best of your ability despite the warning sirens going off in your head. Hisoka began making small talk but you were quick to cut him off; something that seemed to amuse him.

“I don’t have time, Hisoka, so if you could please cut to the chase and tell me what’s so important.” His brow quirked as he studied you until a text message flashed on your phone that captured his attention as well as yours. It was from your mother.

[Casual dinner at home. No need to wear the dress]

“Ah…you’re meeting with your family.” It wasn’t a question but you replied anyway hoping it would get him talking.

“Do you know who your family acquired the debt from?” His question caught you off guard but you didn’t like his insinuating tone and you grew irritated in a matter of seconds.

“No…I don’t.” Your body tensed uncomfortably at the grin that spread on his face. You didn’t like where the conversation was going but you couldn’t afford to lose Hisoka as a contact.

“…and wouldn’t you like to know?”

You sprang from your chair and a single word repeated in your mind as Hisoka’s grin turned sinister the longer you remained on your feet.

Leave

You disobeyed the voice in your head and sat back down. Hisoka could just be pulling a fast one on you but you still wanted to know—needed to know—what he said regardless if it was true or not. “Tell me what you know, Hisoka.”

“Have you ever felt as if you were being watched, Y/N?”

“Yes,” You answered wanting nothing more than to know what Hisoka knew and if it meant tearing down your act then so be it. “I know I’m being watched and I know who’s watching me.”

Surprise and something darker flashed on his face but it went as fast at it came and his face contorted to its usual smug expression. “But you don’t know why, do you?”

“I wouldn’t be here wasting my time with you if I did,” you answered bluntly. “But what do Illumi’s stalking tendencies have to do with my family’s debt?”

“Well Illumi told me the most interesting story yesterday. It was about a transaction that took place eighteen years ago between a family of assassins and a family of hunters. A betrothal between the hunter’s infant daughter and the assassin family’s eldest son instead of money for the debt owed to the assassins.”

The air thickened around you. You wanted to call him a liar and storm out of the establishment but you remained glued to your seat and processed everything he’d said. You opened your mouth to protest but the words died on your tongue. Denial and anger settled into your core and, in momentary weakness, your nen seeped out and enveloped you in wind gusts. It whipped your hair across your face and caused the table and its contents to shake. A scream from one of the patrons broke your fit of fury and your air settled then dissipated.

Hisoka frowned while you took a deep breath to relax and thought over the situation. It made no sense for Hisoka to lie about something like this. You thought about your parents and the parting advice they’d give you every time you parted ways:

“Always avoid assassins. They’re dangerous people.”

Did they want to avoid getting into more debt? If they debt was settled with a future engagement between you and Illumi, why work as hard as they did and make you follow in their footsteps as well? You got lost in your thoughts mulling over every interaction with your parents to recall some sort of hint of a betrothal with the Zoldycks. Nothing came to mind and you were more confused than ever until a possibility came to mind. Were your parents accumulating money to pay off the debt and liberate you?

“Looks like you’ve put two and two together,” Hisoka pointed out. You were about to leave but a startling thought crossed your mind that made you stop in your tracks.

“Does he know...we’re gathering the money to—”

“No, he doesn’t know.” Hisoka interrupted and the words left unsaid both startled and reassured you.

I didn’t tell him

You didn’t ponder too much on Hisoka’s motivations for not revealing your family’s possible scheme to Illumi simply because you didn’t have the head space for it at that moment. Uncovering Hisoka’s motivations would be a project for another time because you were certain that your paths would cross once again. While you were still shocked and upset by his revelation, you thanked Hisoka before leaving the café and heading home. You hoped your intuition was right and your parents were gathering money for that reason. If that wasn’t the case, however, you would need to prepare yourself for a life on the run because you doubted the Zoldycks would cross their arms and do nothing. They would do surely do what they did best; track you down and kill you.

Where the boisterous winds of your hometown had once filled you with joy, you headed straight to your ancestral home anxious about the conversation to come. There was nothing more important than uncovering the truth and with that in mind you bolted past the servants and grounds people stopping only when you were outside of your father’s study. With your heart thumping wildly in your chest, you knocked on the door twice and waited until your mother’s calm voice rang through the door.

“Come in, Y/N.”

Seeing your parents again after almost two years made your heart swell but the turmoil you were currently in stopped you from running into your mother’s arms. Instead you stood at the door with tears welling up in your eyes that cascaded down your face when a strangled cry voiced your distress.

“Is it true? Did you agree to marry me off to the Zoldycks?!”

They were too composed for your liking as if they’d expected you to find out about it on your own—like everything else in your life. However, this time you didn’t want to be on your own and wanted a normal life without an assassin betrothed and hunter parents you rarely saw.

“We promise you it will never come to that. We’ll pay off that debt even if we have to risk our lives.” Your father’s normally modulated voice was thick with emotion and it managed to expel your worst fears.

Your mother’s arms enveloped you and your father immediately joined her until they both held you in their arms each taking turns explaining everything to you. The debt your grandfather had accumulated from Zeno Zoldyck. The time the three of you were summoned to the Zoldyck mansion one day after your first birthday and your father was first made aware of said debt. With the three of your lives on the line, Zeno and Silva gave your father an ultimatum that he took while secretly vowing to dedicate the rest of his life to paying off the debt and saving you from a life as a Zoldyck wife.

Over the next three days, you and your parents counted the money you’d made since your last reunion and found out you were only a couple billion Jenny short of the original debt. You’d been relieved at first until your parents disclosed another aspect of your betrothal you hadn’t been aware of—the deadline of your engagement was your twentieth birthday. With your future at stake, you left home determined to take on as many jobs as you could and make enough money to cover the debt and any interest the Zoldycks would surely demand.

Your untarnished reputation among the jackpot community aided you in your efforts for employment and you were booked for three months straight. There was nothing more important than making money so you ended up ignoring Hisoka’s calls and texts. Illumi only checked up on you once, much less than before, and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was due to your encounter in Heaven’s Arena. Whatever the case, he hadn’t confronted you which meant Hisoka was still keeping your family’s secret—that was until you received a text message from him after you’d finished a job.

[Getting tired of chasing you. Meet me in Swardani or I might have something to tell Illumi ♥]

Not knowing how Illumi felt about the betrothal made you anxious. He could either be your ally in ending the betrothal or your enemy and tell his family about your plan. In the end, you couldn’t risk it and set off to Hisoka’s hotel in Swardani.

You got to the lavish hotel late that evening and wondered if your parents still owned their condo in the city to avoid spending money on a motel room. On the way up to Hisoka’s room, a plethora of scenarios played out in your head about what Hisoka would want but the one that stood out the most was him seeking a payment of some sort for helping you. It was the most logical but his mercurial character made it difficult to predict what he would demand.

The door swung open before you could even knock with his honeyed voice inviting you in. You steeled yourself before stepping inside his suite and letting the door close behind you. Hisoka greeted you with damp hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. He led you to the sitting room where he took a seat and motioned you to so the same. As you followed him, you tried to look anywhere but his chiseled torso but your inexperience with men had you curiously staring at his chest, abdomen, and broad shoulders. The smugness on his face broke your trance and you focused on the matter at hand.

“What do you want, Hisoka?”

“I wanted to see my new favorite toy. I missed you, Y/N.” His spoke plain calling you what you were to him and you might have slapped him for it had you not been working against time. “I don’t have time for this. If there’s nothing else, I’m leaving.”

You stood up and walked away but Hisoka’s hand gripped your wrist and pulled you back. Ready to lash out at him, you stopped when you noticed his playful grin was gone and his mouth was set in a hard line. The voice in your head that warned you of danger begged you to leave but Hisoka’s bruising grip wouldn’t let up no matter how hard you tugged.

“Not so fast. You owe me, Y/N. You didn’t think I told you about Illumi expecting nothing in return, did you?” The singsong-y voice that contrasted his threatening words alarmed you and multiple scenarios played out in your mind on how to leave Hisoka’s presence without suffering too much damage.

“I have no money.” You bit back and he chuckled, pulling you forward until you crashed against his hard form. Assaulted by the sweetness of his smell and the smoothness of his skin, you were defenseless against Hisoka’s mouth laying claim to your neck.

“There are other forms of payment, Y/N, and I just so happen to be a flexible creditor.” He purred against your ear. A wave of heat spurged from your core and spread to your torso and limbs.

“N-no!” Ripping yourself from the confines of his body, you staggered back a couple of steps. “You can’t— ”

“Ah, saving yourself for Illumi?” He laughed and it triggered your wrath.

You attacked first using Ko to focus your nen to your hand. Hisoka easily avoided your fist but it was the powerful winds of your nen technique that cut his skin. You avoided the blow Hisoka aimed at you and dashed to the door to leave, only to be dragged back by an invisible force that wrapped around your torse and your bruised wrist. You stopped breathing when, with the help of Gyo, you saw the pink stretchy material that connected you to its owner.

“I knew you’d be a fun toy to keep around. Now, let’s have fun.”

He gripped your head and attacked your lips in a bruising kiss. When you refused to respond no matter how much he sucked on your bottom lip, Hisoka bit down harshly and you gasped. His tongue delved into your warm mouth and a moaned escaped him that sent goosebumps all over your skin. Hisoka wasted no time in laying claim to your entire mouth, humming in pleasure when he lapped against your tongue and you let out a helpless moan. His kiss fogged your mind and all your thoughts focused on the warmth of Hisoka’s heavy tongue and the bubbling pleasure in your core. Before you knew it you were kissing him back, mimicking his tongue’s movement’s with your clumsy one but his responding moans encourage you to go further. Despite your bounded state, you pressed yourself against Hisoka with the primal need to feel his warmth overtaking your body and mind. Without warning, he pulled away from the kiss and the two of you were panting when his Bungee Gum disappeared and you were released.

“I won’t force you,” he offered, the seriousness of his tone catching you off guard. Your legs moved of their own accord and you found yourself walking toward the door with the voice in your head telling you to leave quickly. The ache in your core was still there, however, and the apex between your legs twitched angrily needing release. You had never done this with anyone but Hisoka’s touch left you hungry for more, so you whipped around and rushed to him, crashing your lips against his unexpecting ones.

Teeth clashed against teeth as you tried to match his fervor. Under normal circumstances, you would have been mortified from your inexperience but all reason was thrown out the window and you focused was on the budding heat from your sex and Hisoka’s tongue languidly trailing down your neck. He ran his hands down underneath your thighs and hoisted you up while you wrapped your legs around his waist and gripped his pink tresses. He groaned in approval when you tugged on his hair and he took you to his bed where he set you down.

The two of you stripped out of your clothes in seconds and tossed them aside before falling back onto the bed and finding each other’s lips once again. Hisoka pulled away after drawing blood from your bottom lip and settled in between your legs before sucking on a hardened nipple while flicking and pinching the other with his fingers. You shook like a leaf from his ministrations on your breasts and whined when he released your swollen nipple with a pop. Amused by your frustrated whines he traveled down your stomach leaving a trail of wet kisses and bite marks. You hoisted yourself up your elbows to see where Hisoka was going only to fall back on the bed when he flattened his tongue and lapped there.

“AH!”

“Mmm!”

Jolts of pleasure shot up your body. You arched your back and trembled as Hisoka licked, bit, and teased your bundle of nerves. The pleasure that had been building since you stepped into Hisoka’s suite finally erupted with one last bite on your clit and the release you’d been chasing washed over you and left you trembling from the aftereffects.

The daze you were in left you vulnerable for Hisoka to have his way with you and you only snapped out of it when he buried his large cock in your tight warmth.

“AH! H-hurts—it hurts!”

Tears dotted your eyes from the painful stretch but Hisoka paid them no mind. He bottomed out until his heavy balls slapped your skin while you gripped the sheets and cried. You searched for any semblance of compassion in Hisoka’s amber eyes but they were clouded in lust as he bore holes into your own—he was lost in his pleasure and yours was no concern of his.

When the pain did subside, you wrapped your shaky legs around his waist to bring some much-needed friction to your clit. While Hisoka selfishly chased his release, you worked on yours by greedily grinding your hips against his. The friction coupled with Hisoka’s slow deep thrusts had your cunt creaming and every time he pulled out, a sheen of white covered his thick cock that he admired before slamming it back inside.

Hisoka was an insatiable lover and you quickly lost count how many times the two of you came that night. Each time his warm release coated your walls and trickled out of you when he pulled out, the sight of you, a trembling and moaning mess, caused his cock to grow hard again and he’d plunge it back inside you.

When he finally had his fill of you, Hisoka collapsed on the bed next to you humming in satisfaction. You lied next to him until your body relaxed and breathing evened out. Sticky cum covered your aching legs and you wanted nothing more than to clean it off and leave. Gritting your teeth, you slowly shifted your legs towards the edge of the bed until they dangled off and touched the ground.

You hissed as your body screamed in pain from the unwanted movement, but you were determined to leave that night—at least until Hisoka’s arm shot out and pulled you back down on the bed.

“Ah! What are—”

“Just stay. It’s late and your body is sore.” He murmured before turning around and closing his eyes.

The voice in your head vehemently opposed Hisoka’s proposal but he had a point, your body was in no shape to move let alone walk the long way to your parent’s condo or a motel. You sighed in defeat and burrowed yourself in the sheets, your back to Hisoka, before eventually succumbing to sleep.

[charming-2d-boys]

New follower here! For the 500 follower event, could ask for #16 with hisoka and/or illumi? You choose. Thank you!

Hello! I hope you'll like it here @heyitsgarnet 😊

And thank you all for requesting, I hope you’ll like those as well and whatever else may come! 🙇💕😄

Here is Uvogin’s part and here is Nobunaga’s!

A/N: I put the ones with Illumi together with the other request since they are pretty similar and it would be a bit hard to use prompt 11 in 4 different ways...especially for Illumi. This just became part of something bigger and I had an idea, hope you and the others don’t mind me lumping them together

11. “You’re insane,” “You love me,” “Not right now I don’t.”

12. “Give me attention.”

16. “You met me yesterday.” “Yes, and I would die for you. Next question.”

19. “She’s hiding behind the sofa.”

Word count: 1539

-----

   It hadn’t been his idea. Honestly, if Illumi would’ve had any saying in this, it wouldn’t have even been worth mentioning. But, alas, the Zoldyck family wanted a wife for him and he couldn’t say no. Despite Silva being confident in Killua returning and taking over the family business, Zeno quietly suggested the oldest son having an heir himself. Just in case things didn’t work out as planned.

   That’s how Illumi found himself face to face with you. You were different, he could just feel it. Your Aura, the way you held yourself, how you spoke and even moved. Illumi didn’t really know what to think of you. You must’ve been something if his family chose you. After all, they wanted only the best.

   “The reason we called you here today is because we have a mission for you and Illumi. Here are the details.” Zeno said as a butler came and gave you and Illumi some documents with information about the target. You smiled and agreed while Illumi stared at the paper, confused. It didn’t seem like such a difficult mission, so why did they send the two of you together? “We’d like to see how the two of you would work together.” Ah, so that’s what it was about. After all, if you’d get to be part of the family, knowing that you could work together with Illumi and be professional while also married - and probably giving the family a new heir would - be an asset to the Zoldycks that they couldn’t miss out on.

   Knowing the details, the both of you left together the very next day, watching your target and learning more in order to come up with a good plan. At least, that was the plan. Illumi didn’t seem to want to work with you that much. He barely spoke and kept to himself, shooting down your suggestions and always finding a flaw within them. You kept trying. Not because you wanted to get married to him or anything – you couldn’t care any less. But you actually wanted to get along with him, at least a little. Stubbornness apparently ran in your family.

   During the mission, both of you went your own ways, dispatching guards left and right on opposite sides of the target’s house. You reached an enormous room full of precious artefacts, only to find Illumi in the back of the room, fighting some guards as a few others were doing his bidding and slaughtering their comrades – his Nen needles’ power, no doubt. He didn’t seem to be having a very hard time nor breaking a sweat. But you did see a sniper aiming at him from the floor above, gun propped against the railing as he had a clear shot of Illumi. Whether Illumi had sensed him or not didn’t matter because soon, he was falling, his body and gun hitting the floor with a loud thud. Illumi briefly glanced at the commotion and you before going back to his fight, with you coming to his aid here and there and getting rid of whoever dared to come from above or behind you. One of Illumi’s needles whizzed past you and you heard a gurgling and a thud. Part of you was thankful while another was wondering if he might’ve wanted to scare you with the needle’s proximity. You’d almost thrown yourself in front of an enemy who attempted to catch Illumi by surprise, the aforementioned man angrily dealing with the guard in a split second. As all of the bodies on the floor were soon lying on the floor except for the two of you, Illumi strode to you, toe to toe with you as he glared.

   “Are you stupid? You met me yesterday.”

   “Yes, and I would die for you. Next question.” Illumi looked at you incredulously as if you’d just grown another head. No sooner were the two of you done talking that you noticed a vault door in a hallway to the side, almost hidden, which you wouldn’t have noticed if not for a faint noise coming from its direction. You both looked at one another before silently moving in unison. The door wasn’t completely closed and when Illumi pulled it open, you saw your target in a corner. Needless to say, he was quickly disposed of by Illumi and the two of you returned to the hotel you were staying at, taking a late night dinner together.

   You both talked that night – you more than Illumi, though he talked a lot when it came to his family. At your suggestion a few hours later, Illumi and you decided to stay for a few more days in town, which was solved with a quick call to the Zoldycks. He wasn’t so bad once you got to know him somewhat and he was definitely an interesting individual who seemed to be quite knowledgeable despite his young age. The time together was spent going through different cafés and museums, enjoying the town and whatever it had to offer.

   And as soon as you returned to the Zoldyck estate, it was pretty much settled that you two would get married. Neither you nor Illumi seemed to mind. It would be a new experience for the two of you and you were sure you could make him open up even more. Luckily for you, he already care quite a lot by the time you two tied the knot.

   Besides that first mission where you showed Illumi that you were willing to sacrifice yourself for him, there was one more time when something similar happened. Another mission where the two of you went together – this time as a married couple instead of business partners – and again, your instinct told you to protect Illumi. This time, he was late by a fraction of a second and you got hurt – not badly and you barely reacted, but Illumi grew angry at the sight of blood trailing down your skin and quickly killed whoever hurt you. The target was still alive and Illumi sent you home, leaving before you could argue with him to finish the mission.

   It had left a bitter taste in your mouth and as soon as you were dropped off at the estate, you went to your room and hid behind the large couch present there, just like when you were a kid and got scolded. Looking out the large, open window at the garden outside, mulling over your thoughts and what you could’ve – should’ve – said, you were snapped out of your thoughts by Illumi’s voice coming from outside.

   “Where is (Y/N)?” He asked as he started going up the stairs to the entrance, Gotoh following behind him.

   “In your bedroom. She’s hiding behind the sofa, sir.” You rolled your eyes, readying yourself for Illumi’s appearance. Of course Gotoh would tell him. Soon, you heard the door open and saw Illumi appear  next to you. You refused to look at him as you drew formless shapes into the carpet with your finger. With a barely audible sigh, he sat down next to you, your knees touching.

   “I don’t want you to get hurt on my behalf.” You stayed silent, trying to sort through your emotions and thoughts. You were married – in love or not, you knew you liked him a lot and cared about him – and felt it was natural to want him to be safe, even if he was more than well prepared. It was like your body moved without your mind having a say in it. But would Illumi understand if you told him this? Would he consider you too weak or as if you needed protection? Would he just refuse to let you tag along on missions?

   “Hey, give me attention. I really don’t want you to get hurt, okay?” You sighed before turning to face him, finding Illumi’s stare directed at your face. You had to explain your feelings to him, even if it would be hard for him to understand. But surprisingly, he did understand your point of view.

   “I know you’re strong and capable, Illumi. But so am I, don’t forget that. I was trained to be an assassin, too, even if it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life.” He only nodded before tensing as your fingers linked with his. He was still getting used to affectionate gestures and tender touches, but he soon relaxed, both of you left in comfortable silence.

   “You’re insane, you know that?” Illumi asked you after a bit of thinking, though you had a feeling it was a rhetorical question. You could only laugh before squeezing his hand.

   “Maybe~ But you love me~” You looked at him, batting your eyelashes as a playful smile took over your lips.

   “Not right now I don’t.” You pouted before pinching his side, receiving only a confused look which you quickly altered by poking his cheek cutely. Illumi surprised you by kissing your palm, making you freeze and feel your cheeks heat up.

   “You’ll be the death of me one day…” You mumbled before burying your face into his shoulder, trying to compose yourself. Little did you know that Illumi was thinking the exact same thing as he looked at you fondly, feeling the butterflies swirling around in his stomach.

[sajiri]

Endwalker 6.0 predictions

I called (or at least wanted) Thavnair to be a place we were going to, and its happening, so for posterity here I am gonna write down some other predictions I have for 6.0

New job: Reaper We know we’re getting a melee dps, and as usual Yoshi-p wore his t-shirt hint. A lot of people are focusing on the imagery of the skeleton and taking it as necromancer, but necromancers are almost always seen as a mage. The more compelling thing to me though, is that he wore two shirts with the grim reaper. I think the Reaper imagery is the more important one here. Might not be called Reaper, but I’m highly suspecting it will use a scythe mainhand.

New Location: Sharlayan We know we’re going to Thavnair and the moon. How much is there really to see on the moon? I think that’s going to be an endgame zone. We saw a ruined Garlemald. I think we’re being fooled. We know Fandaniel (masquerading as Asahi) is working with Zenos, while also funding Nerva in a bid for the throne. We know the Garleans built the towers. I think the purpose was to provoke war in Garlemald, for whatever reason, and Garlemald is destroyed. I think there’s another surprise for where we’re going. Sharlayan makes sense to me for a few reasons- we know Alphinaud is getting a new job which seems to be from Sharlayan (based on it’s reveal trailer). Not to mention if this is the end of the ongoing storyline, with how much we’ve heard of Sharlayan it would be a letdown if we didn’t see it.

New ‘Friend’: Zenos Notice how in the expansions some minor characters often become more major characters? Estinien and G’raha Tia for example. I was thinking Unukulhai would be our next friend, but now because of the Void quests in 5.4, don’t really see that happening. I think Zenos will be our final fight in 5.5, but we won’t kill him. I think he will start to work with us, in a way, we may even come to see him as the friend he sees us as. But he will then become our ultimate enemy by the end, possibly (willingly) possessed by Zodiark. He lives only to battle the warrior of light, after all.

New Threat: Terminus Aka: The creatures we saw in Emet-selch’s recreation of the end times. Zodiark was originally summoned to stop the world from being destroyed by something, and all we know of it was a sound that originated deep in the earth. We know the story involving Zodiark and Hydaelyn will be ending with 6.0, and whether we defeat one, both, absorb, merge, join, whatever, this is going to result in the initial threat re-emerging. We’ve had a few hints throughout the game- Shantotto claimed the world’s core was rotten for one. Lahabrea called Hydaelyn a parasite needing to be burned out. Some other things I forget. This could be something we resolve in 6.0, or it could be the new threat from 6.1 onwards. This leads into my next prediction. Fandaniel’s plot: There’s more to it Fandaniel claimed at the end of 5.4 that he wants to die and take everyone out with him. This I can see- He’s been alive for so long, working for a cause he doesnt believe in. Dude probably just wants to die, and probably hates the world. I started to think there’s more to it, not to mention that in the annoucement, Yoshi-p stated that “Fandaniel has a secret.” I think he might know about Terminus, or whatever it’s going to be called, I think he wants to destroy the world because he knows something even worse about it. Maybe the core of the world is rotten. Maybe it’s just as bad if it’s rejoined. Mildly offtopic- Azem did not agree with the summoning of Zodiark or Hydaelyn. I think Azem was searching for a way to stop Terminus without summoning, possibly found it, but the world was sundered before they could stop it. Out-there theory 1: We’re going to rejoin the shards Or at least fix the Thirteenth. Had this theory since the end of 5.3, and only grew more with the void quests of 5.4. This theory initially came with G’raha’s comment of ‘the final chapter of this star’ at the end of 5.3, clearly referring ot the events of the next expansion. Some people took this to mean the end of FFXIV. Some took it to mean we’re going to other shards. What if it’s the final chapter because the star won’t exist after 6.0? What if we manage to perform a safe rejoining? This would likely require fixing the thirteenth, and the void quests in 5.4 really hinted that we were going to find a way to do so. I don’t necessarily think this will happen in 6.0, but I think it’s a possibility for later

Out-there theory 2: Ysayle’s return It’s the finale of the story. Yoshi-p himself stated that we’ve met many characters along the way, and many will make a comeback. While I was thinking of what NPCs we’ve seen that may show up, it occurred to me we never actually saw Ysayle die. I mean, it was highly likely she did die, but if you don’t see the body, it’s always a possibility they’re still there. Anyway, there’s my theories. Might add more to it as I think of them. How about your’s?

[jenovahh]

The Honey Pot - Ch. 27 - The Things that Made Us

It was hard to keep your stress down when you were planning to try and expose the biggest crime boss the world has ever known.

There’s hardly a moment Merlwyb isn't throwing you a concerned glance at the first sign of you getting worked up as you, her, and Cid sit around a big table filled with papers and photos. Empty sugar and cream packets that have gone into about three or four mugs of coffee. Half eaten snacks ranging from croissants to a bag of chips from the closest gas station (which given that Cid was rich and lived outside of the city, was quite far).

While you appreciate her worry, you’re near ready to pull your hair out as a result. At the first sign of you raising your voice, she places a gentle hand on yours reminding you to calm down. When you reach for a mug of coffee, she bats your hand away with a stern look. If you didn’t know any better, you’d swear Zenos had put her up to it.

“I’m going to go crazy, Cid.” you confess, collapsing on a couch in his office, finished with another day of planning. Three heads were admittedly better than one, especially when one of them was a genius. “It’s like she thinks I’m made of glass despite being undercover for nearly a year with the worst gang the world has ever known.”

Cid lightly chuckles at that, having grabbed some dried calamari to snack on as he finishes up a few things in his office. “I think it’s her way of trying to take care of you, given that she feels she failed you so miserably.” Even though the statement is loaded with truth, Cid delivers it with a warm smile.

You can’t help but feel a little bad; Merlwyb was probably taking you under her care because she knows Raubahn would do the same.

“Cid, I came to you to vent. Not for you to make me feel bad.” You pout, kicking weakly at the cushions before rolling to face him as he settles in his desk. “I hope she doesn’t feel obligated to take care of me.” You murmur softly, barely a whisper as your heart fills with melancholy.

Settling in, Cid turns on his computer and begins to work. “It might be partly obligation. It might be repayment. But do those things matter?” he asks, giving you an inquisitive look. “Would you rather have her apathy and scorn?”

Shaking your head, Cid nods, typing away at his computer. “I know that it is something you struggle with, Honey, to accept a person’s affection. But you should try it sometime. You might be surprised at what you find.”

You can’t help but feel like a little kid around him sometimes, some worthwhile lesson always falling out of his mouth. You tell him as much. “Would it kill you to be wrong for once?” You joke, tossing him a lazy smile.

“I’m afraid it is my job to be right at least ninety-nine percent of the time, or I'd be up to my ears in lawsuits.” He laughs, having not stopped typing for a second. “You should get some rest, my dear. I’ll be up for a while yet.”

“Shouldn’t you sleep?” You return, sitting up to throw him a scrutinous look.

“Unless you’re able to pull a few strings I didn’t know about, and also prepare enough tech to take down a corporate super giant…” Cid trails off, looking as if he’s to start packing up.

“I get it, I get it, sheesh.” You groan, standing to your feet. “I think I will go to bed if it means I’ll actually get to be right, even if I’m by myself.” You huff, sticking your tongue out at him for good measure.

“You need it, growing babe be damned.” Cid smiles, pausing his work to see you off. “You’ve worked damn hard for us up until this point Honey. Let us return the favor.”

Giving him a heartfelt smile, you wave good night to him and head out the door, reentering the hallway. The night is quiet despite the fact an uprising looms on the horizon. Somehow it seems both close and far away, the idea that things would finally come to a head, sides would be taken and long buried truths would finally come to light.

These twilight hours were your only time of peace, a few sacred hours before you needed to wind down for bed before Zenos woke you up to train in the morning.

Your feet have carried you to him before you realize it, finding him meditating in the indoor garden. You watch him silently from behind the glass, the rising and falling of his chest, eyes closed as he finds his center and stays there. One of the few times he looks tranquil and genuinely at peace, and given the small glimpse you had of his personal life, of his past, perhaps it served more than just the purpose of calming his body.

Maybe his spirit needed it as well, though he would never admit it.

Jolting as his eyes suddenly flick open and land on you, you can’t help but be mildly embarrassed for staring so blatantly, and for so long. Thinking to shy away and meander down the hallway to go somewhere else (preferably far away), he’s already uncrossed his legs and stood, briskly walking to catch up to you before you can even get a fulm down the hall. “You are done for the day.” he observes, his long legs allowing him to catch up to you in no time at all.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re wrapping things up I suppose, or at least there’s nothing more I can do but wait.” You grumble, a little put out still despite Cid’s earlier words. “What have you been up to?”

“I’ve little to do, by your side.” he responds, voice surprisingly neutral.

“Do you miss...being in a gang?” you ask hesitantly, the two of you slowly walking wherever your feet take you. He seems to be following your lead rather than the other way around, and his slow stride suggests he’s not in a rush to go anywhere else except near you.

“No, and not for reasons one might think. I was apathetic toward my father’s bidding. Whatever his lackeys did, whatever shipments needed securing, it was all beneath my notice. My only concern was for the thrill of battle. Of storming hideouts and searching for new opponents.” He rumbles, the timbre of his voice vibrating in his broad chest. “In a way, I do miss the feeling of wondering if I would find a suitable opponent...the anticipation that would most times lead to disappointment...or joy.” Smirking, he gives you a burning look. “However, I’ve not felt that since meeting you.”

Huffing, you stick your tongue out at him. “Careful, that sounded almost romantic.” you groan, giving him a playful shove. Looking to your feet, you both are silent for a moment until you speak up again. “Sometimes I miss being a cop.”

He arches a brow at that, brushing a stray hair from his face. “Why would you miss such a…” he pauses as he searches for the right word. “...restrictive job setting?”

“I miss helping people. Or at least, feeling like I was helping people.” You answer, realizing you had somehow found yourself in the kitchen. Cid learned to keep some of your favorite snacks stocked here due to your frequent visits in the past. “I miss my friends, I miss my apartment, I miss just…”

“You miss your old life.” Zenos responds for you, taking the words right out your mouth. Once again his voice is neutral, giving away nothing, but he won’t let you see his face when you turn to gaze up at him.

Fumbling for the right words, you wring your hands together. “Let’s eat some ice cream.” You smile, buying you some time to think. You’re moving to circle the island in the middle of the kitchen before he can stop you, heading to the cabinets to reach for some bowls.

“Ice cream is unhealthy and full of unnecessary--”

“Zenos yae Galvus, if you do not get me two bowls down, I will gut you.”

He shudders at your threat and you can’t help but roll your eyes that only he would even get off on what is supposed to be a playful bluff. So what you could back it up? Though it was probably that very fact that excited him.

Doing as told he grabs two bowls for you, silent as he watches you move around the kitchen like you’ve lived here before. A familiarity that only comes with being welcomed into one’s home. You grab the spoons and point him toward the bar stools at the island, Zenos obeying without protest as you wrench the freezer door open and pull out your favorite Rolanberry ice cream.

You grab a heated scoop (specifically engineered by Ironworks technologies) to easily serve you and Zenos both, returning the ice cream to its place in the freezer before sliding Zenos his bowl and spoon. He looks at it questioningly as you sit down, diving right into your own ice cream. “This looks as if it was purchased from a...commoner store.” He sighs, poking at it questioningly.

“It was. Because I asked Cid to get it from a grocery store.” You reply, not missing a beat as you help yourself to another spoonful. “Hurry up and eat it before it melts.”

“Do you fear asking Garlond for higher quality sweets?” he asks, deciding to try a taste for himself. The face he makes shows that he is less than impressed and you can’t help but giggle at it.

“Not at all. This is just an ice cream I would eat a lot with Minfilia when I was a kid.” you answer, the uttering of her name not stinging as much as it used to. Maybe now that you had realized her captor, her killer, and that you were finally about to avenge her as you had promised, made it sting a little less.

Zenos is silent still, seeming uncharacteristically quiet. A little unnerved, you decide to answer his earlier question. “I do miss my old life. I miss my friends, Y’shtola and Lyse. I met them toward the end of high school. My truest friends. I haven’t talked to them since I told them I’d be going undercover to try and get close to you.” You muse, stirring your melting ice cream slightly before spooning it in your mouth.

“I miss my apartment. Even though it’s been nice never running out of hot water, having five star meals every day, sometimes I miss my shitty, little space. The tub with the terrible caulk job on the edges, the one panel on the blinds that would always break and never stay fixed. The spot on the carpet that wouldn’t come out after I spilled soda on it, no matter how hard I scrubbed.” You laugh thinking about it all, wondering if all your things had been kept safe.

“Sometimes I miss just feeling...normal.”

Though he says nothing, you can see Zenos’ brows furrow at the statement, smiling a little at his confusion. “I don’t know the specifics of the Resonant but up until...someone told me of the Echo, this whole time I thought I was ‘normal’. I thought I was like one of those Olympians, you know? That I was just really strong and had crazy fast reflexes. It never occurred to me that I was...something else entirely.” You murmur sadly, scooping a spoonful solemnly into your mouth.

“I remember so little of my childhood. It feels like it happened in short bursts. A period of just moving from place to place, until Minfilia took me, and ran away. Then there were the years with her, in bits and pieces, and then...nothing.” Finishing our ice cream, your vision unfocuses, as if staring at nothing. “Suddenly, as if I was just waking up, I was getting ready to graduate high school with my friends and joining the police force to find my mother’s killer.”

Looking up at Zenos, he stares back, but with an unreadable emotion on his face. Maybe, not necessarily unreadable, but as if he doesn’t know how to express however he’s feeling. “If you told me that I’d land myself in the lap of my mother’s killer and fall for his son two years ago, I wouldn’t have believed you.” You laugh bitterly as you finally make your way to the answer he sought. “But...as hard as it’s been...as painful as this has all been...I would never take it back.” You smile at him warmly, watching as his jaw clenches. “I wouldn’t have gotten to meet you otherwise.”

He is quiet still after your confession, and though he doesn’t say it back (part of you doubts he ever will), you are content knowing that you know he cares for you in his own way, by the gestures of how he cares for you. As he seems content to stew in his thoughts, you silently hook your finger on the rim of his bowl, dragging it toward you slowly while meeting his eyes in question. He only gives you a weak glare, but says nothing else, and you go ahead and drag it to your side of the counter and begin to eat his share of ice cream.

“The Resonant is a result of my blood.”

Looking up, you hadn’t expected him to speak. He looks uncomfortable, guarded, wary. “My mother was like you, a descendant of an Ancient. From what I understand it is rare for descendants to be born so closely together. The bloodline is passed down, but not every soul manifests its power.” He explains, toying with the ends of his fine hair, as if in a long buried, nervous habit. “To this day, I do not know what powers my mother had, just that she was unlucky enough to be caught by my father, and forced into his bed to create me.”

Frowning, you abandon your extra ice cream and reach across the island to place your hand on his. He jerks away from the contact initially, giving you a withering look, but at the look of genuine worry on your face, he curses under his breath. Returning his hand to the counter, he faces his palm upward, allowing you to clutch it with your own, running your thumb on his palm in nonsensical patterns.

“When I was born, I had shown no initial signs of ‘success’. No visible powers or abilities that would show that the bloodline of the Ancients could be used to create powerful offspring. It is why I am an only child. My father initially deemed it a failure and saw my mother as useless.” He continues, returning the motions of your fingers drawing patterns on his skin, focusing on where your hands are joined as he tells his story.

“This did not mean my father had given up hope of course. For all his airs of being a ruthless businessman, he is still a man of science. He never quit his experiments with aether, and drained every last bit of info from my mother he could until she finally ended her own suffering.” He ground out. Even as he crushed your hand within his quite painfully, you didn’t breathe a word of pain, not wanting to break this fragile moment.

“The majority of my youth, all I had known was testing at the hands of my father’s scientists. As young as ten years old, I had become well acquainted with the feel of needles, bright lights, cold rooms after my studies. I had rebelled in my youth of course, by using the power of my wealth, my prestige. I slept with anything that walked. Harmed anyone who dared cross me. It wasn’t like we didn’t have the money to pay the lawyers for it.” he sighed, his grip on your hand relaxing a bit. For a moment he is quiet, drawing patterns on your skin.

“It wasn’t until my early teens that my father’s best scientist finally had a breakthrough.”

His free hand reaches for the collar of his shirt, tugging it down forcefully to stretch the fabric more than it was intended. You see the beginnings of his tattoo, parts of the scales and talons that make up the dragon lurking beneath. “Aulus mal Asina...an eccentric most would call him as far as science goes. But it was just that sort of eccentricity my father needed after losing Midas nan Garlond to his own experiments.” Releasing a bitter laugh of his own, Zenos mumbled something underneath his breath before continuing. “He had proposed this tattoo.”

Even though Zenos’ focus has not left the sight of your hands twined together, as if it is the only thing grounding him in reality as he retells his life’s story, he goes on as if sensing your confusion. “Your power, the power of the Ancients, comes from that tattoo on the back of your neck. Or at least, that is the theory Aulus acted upon. Using this strain of thought, he made aether infused ink and put this dragon upon my chest, activating dormant blood...activating what he would call the Resonant.”

You can feel your own throat begin to close up, as you struggle to not shed a tear at how horribly Zenos had been treated. It was no wonder that his view of life was so incredibly warped, with a dad that was more concerned about turning his son into some sort of supernatural being than being there for him.

“It was also the last I had seen of Aulus. For when the Resonant activated, I had no control. It had felt almost like an out of body experience…” he trails off, a note of excitement creeping into his voice, but still he maintains his bitter expression. “I had...murdered anyone in the room with me in cold blood.” He sighs, hazarding a glance at you. Much like him, you keep your expression neutral, giving away nothing, deciding instead to scream from the inside.

“It took several tranquilizing darts to take me down. It was then I was put into my training to control the Resonant.” He rests the weight of his head on his free hand, still clutching your hand in his, drawing more random patterns on your skin. “The exhilaration I feel when in control of the Resonant cannot be compared. To be so fast, so strong, I had become obsessed with using it at any opportunity. It was then I became obsessed with the thrill of the hunt.” His eyes finally meet yours. “I had told you already how I would give myself impossible odds to fight against, until one day the thrill stopped.”

Something about that statement finally makes you meet his gaze, standing on the precipice of the unknown once more. “Do you still love me now? Even after all the monstrous things I’ve done? The people I’ve killed?” He questions, voice taunting on the surface, but you know better. Know him better than that.

You can hear the resentment that his father twisted him into the pained man he has become.

The bitterness that despite being rich, powerful, attractive, nothing would change how warped he felt inside.

The anguish that at this moment, he had bared his soul to you, let you see who he is in full...and that with his past now bared to you, you could leave him.

“Am I not any different?” You ask, clearly throwing him for a loop.

“You have only started maiming when I,”

“No, I haven’t.” You cut him off, your hand clutching his for comfort this time. Your vision goes dark around the edges as a long buried memory tries to dredge its way to the surface. “I don’t remember the details. Nor would I ever want to...all I remember is a sea of red. A knife in my hand. And dead bodies littering the floor because I was too late to stop them from taking Minfilia.”

Your breath begins to come fast, too fast, and Zenos snags you by the chin, forcing you to look at him, to acknowledge he is real and with you and you’re not standing in a pool of blood in this very moment.

“Gods help me, Zenos, did you think you could scare me away?” You laugh even though you tremble as you do so. “At this point who else could want a freak like me?”

You see something in his eyes, the spark that maybe he felt the same. That somewhere deep within him he craved love just like anyone else, no matter how much of his life he spent convincing himself the opposite. That he wanted to hold and be held, to kiss and be kissed, to experience the affection and adoration and care that he doubtless saw the many people around him experience over the years.

Of course he would fuck anything with legs. It was mostly likely the only time he got any sort of physical contact that wasn’t him being experimented on. The only time he knew someone wanted him.

Standing to your feet, you intend to do just that. You release his hand only long enough to circle the island and come to stand between his legs as he still remains seated upon the bar stool. Even sitting he’s still fairly tall.

Reaching for his hands, you bring them to loop around your waist, your arms effortlessly sliding underneath his own to hug him close. He seems unsure what to do for a moment, until his embrace eventually tightens, clutching you close, burying his face in your neck. “It could only be you, too.” You whisper, breathing him in. Your eyes flutter closed, wrapping yourself in his scent, his touch.

“There could never be anyone else.”

“It’s almost time isn’t it?”

Merlwyb glances at you from the corner of her eye as the two of you make your way to the conference room in Cid’s home.

“That it is.” She responds, hands clasped behind her back, turning her gaze back down the hall. “While we are certainly pushing the envelope in dethroning His Radiance in a timely fashion, it is good that we are getting it done at all.”

Nodding, you find that you agree. Though you were definitely cutting it close, it’s good that something was being done to knock this bastard down several pegs.

As you enter the conference room, Lord Hien is already on screen speaking with Cid as they converse about whatever particulars of the plan to take on Varis and expose him for his crimes. Zenos is there as well, arms folded across his chest and looking everywhere but the other two men, and you would go as far to say he almost looked as if he was pouting.

You’d hoped he would seem a little more enthusiastic about the whole ordeal, but through every meeting he sat quietly and neutrally, as if he couldn’t even be bothered to even feel a little bit angry by the plans being made to take down his father. You knew both Cid and Merlwyb were upset by his unwillingness to be involved, only placated by the fact he was not against them either.

You had described the horror of the Resonant to them, the sheer power and speed he displayed. You knew without a doubt Varis had kept his own son as a trump card, knowing of his killing capabilities. You had effectively taken Zenos from his hand by your “relationship” making taking him down much easier in theory.

You shudder to imagine what would happen if you had to go in a toe to toe fight with a Resonant activated Zenos.

Best to not think on it now. Not when it's time to focus on more certain things: like how you’re going to break into Varis’ compound.

“Hello everyone. Sorry I’m late.” you greet with a small wave, even to Hien displayed on the large monitor.

“Nothing to be sorry for. We weren’t talking about anything important. Wanted to save that until you got here.” Cid beams, giving you a welcoming smile. You give him a warm one in return, only able to ignore Zenos’ insistent stare for a little while longer before you throw him a reproving look, which does nothing but cause him to smirk back. Rolling your eyes, you move to sit in the chair beside him, clearly annoyed, but to all in the room it might as well have been foreplay.

“Ahem, well,” Cid coughs, angling himself at the monitor Lord Hien is displayed on as Merlwyb takes her seat beside him. “Since you’ve been here for the majority of the meetings, there’s not much new to say, except going over a few finer points.” Cid begins. “Lord Hien?”

“Yes, yes.” The handsome man nods, eyes turning to you. “The entire operation hinders upon the success of bringing down Varis’ research facility. While we could simply get video or picture proof, we do not run to the risk of him trying to cover up his tracks. We know he has been smart enough to play several hands over the years; there is no reason to not think he has no back up plan should someone see something they aren’t supposed to.”

“Or worse, he launches the technology to have a direct attack on the public. As you have told us before, he has already begun to develop weapons using this technology. We can’t bear the risk of him holding any more civilian lives hostage. We must cut off the source, and then we can handle any other weapons after.” Lord Hien’s voice is clear and concise, serious and awe inspiring. A true leader, you think, unable to not feel a little dazzled by him.

“That said, the day of infiltration, I will go into hiding. Varis has been content to let me live this long, but I would not put it past him to have some way of keeping an eye on me. Though I am capable of disappearing, he will no doubt notice this, and also notice something is going wrong.” Hien continues, threading his fingers together as he levels you with a serious gaze.

“While I hate to pressure you any further Honey, especially given how much you have done for Kugane so far, still I must ask, are you unable to recall where to find the research facility?” He asks, and all eyes in the room are upon you.

Fidgeting, you stare hard at the fine wood grain upon the table, hands fisted in your lap. “No...I don’t.” You sigh, feeling defeated. “The one time I had gone, I was so confused at where he was taking me, I didn’t think to pay attention to my surroundings. Even leaving, I had been so shocked at what he showed me, what he had told me--” you shudder as suddenly you remember the feel of his grimy hands upon you, pulling upon your clothes, his twisted words at how he would have you…

Zenos places a hand over the palms over your lap, expression giving away nothing. Nodding, you take a calming breath. “I was too distracted to take notice. Did none of our research efforts bear any fruit?” you ask, looking from one set of eyes to the next, begging that one of them will say yes.

They look back at you just as defeated, no one willing to make eye contact with you for a heartbeat. Clearing his throat, Cid speaks up. “Alas, even my most advanced sensors couldn’t find anything out of the ordinary. I have no idea where it could be.”

The four of you twiddle your thumbs as you try to figure out what to do. Everything was ready to go. You could end this. Only you were too stupid at the time to remember something as simple as where the hell the secret laboratory was. You felt like you could smash a brick into your head.

Under the haze of your regret you can hear the others begin to talk again, perhaps discussing places they hadn’t thought to check, or avenues they hadn’t bothered to try. You tune it all out, unable to do anything aside from letting your own failure resonate inside you.

Resonate…

“Zenos.”

The room is quiet in an instant as you flip your hands over and clutch Zenos’ tightly, watching as his eyebrows reach for his hairline for a split second before they pinch together. “Zenos. I know we...I know we talked,” you offer vaguely, squeezing his hands that much tighter. “But please help us. We can put an end to this--”

“I told you I couldn’t.” He growls, his voice cutting so sharply, eyes so furious that you feel yourself recoil under his stare. But you knew this was bigger than you, and he had to know this too.

“Why won’t you help?” you plead, face breaking up as you watch a million emotions flit through his blue eyes. “Don’t you want to be free from your father?”

A shadow of something crosses his face, eyes unfocused as if lost in his own mind. He snatches his hand from yours as he comes back to himself, silent as he stands from his chair and stalks out the room. “Zenos!” you call, hurrying to your feet as he ignores you and flings the door open, uncaring that it slams into the wall. “Zenos!”

Following him, he’s once again halfway down the hall, deja vu urging you to catch up with him just as you had done that catalytic night at the hotel so many months ago. “Zenos, please,” you beg, trying to catch him before he rounds the upcoming corner. You don’t expect to be startled when he suddenly turns on his heel and snags you by your arms, nearly slamming you into the closest wall where he can loom over you menacingly.

You wish you didn’t feel so small before him during these times, especially now that you know how much he’s been hurting. “Zenos please, why won’t you help? Is it because of me?”

“Why would it ever be because of you?” He asks, his anger vanishing for a moment as he gives you an almost hopeless look. “I am saved by the very fact that you exist.”

“Then why?!” You whimper, trying to break out of his iron grip even as he grips your arms tighter. “Is it because the cause is too noble? Is it because you can’t go against your father?”

“Noble? What is noble about wanting to get revenge for your fallen friend? That still makes you a murderer, or have you forgotten?” he snickers darkly, ice blue eyes piercing directly into your heart. However you’ve known him too long. Long enough. Long enough to know that Zenos answers almost anything he is asked. That he doesn’t deflect, he doesn’t ignore you.

“Your father...what did he do to you that you can’t raise a hand against him?” You whisper, hating as you can see you’ve hit your mark when he goes stock still. His fingers are almost crushing in their strength, but you pay them no mind, needing to get to the heart of the matter. “Zenos, whatever it is, you don’t have to fear him--”

You cry out as he nearly throttles you into the wall, the sclera of his eyes almost bleeding black. “You know not of what you speak.” It is whispered so lowly, so vehemently, you can’t help but shiver in fear.

“But I want us to be happy.” You cry, tears leaking down your face, wanting to somehow get through to him. “I want you to be free from him Zenos, for us to be free. Forever--”

“Nothing is forever!” He nearly roars, but instead of maintaining the ferocity he had kept until this point, he couldn’t sound more shaken. “I cannot raise a hand against him. I cannot...I can’t. Not against my father.” he murmurs softly, though his grip has not decreased one bit.

Thinking quickly, you try to reason with him. “But I can.” you urge, praying that he will listen.

He barks out a hoarse laugh at that, fixing you with a derisive sneer. “Then what? Shall we both rot away in solitary confinement for our crimes?”

Whimpering, you wish he would just let go of you so you could hold him. “Chief Raubahn said I had immunity while on my mission,”

“Good for you.” He laughs again, leaning into your space. “And what of me? Do you think they’d be willing to overlook all the men I’ve killed? The things I’ve stolen and cheated for? Will your chief be willing to turn a blind eye to the monster I am?” he laughs maniacally, eyes flashing red for a brief moment before his expression becomes unfeeling. “I would sooner die than rot in prison, unable to fight.”

“Zenos,”

Dropping you, he doesn’t bother to grab you as you crumple to the floor, turning his back on you. “You are all fools to think you can even touch him.” Even at his scathing tone, you can see the haunted shadow that falls across his face, wondering just how much shit did that asshole put him through? What fucked up mind games did Varis play to have his own son that could snap him in half be too afraid to stand against him?

“I do this for you,” you cry, suddenly feeling exhausted, gazing up at him desperately. “I’ll fight ‘til my dying breath that they don’t lock you away. I refuse for us to not be together.” Tears begin to genuinely leak down your eyes now, even as you hear Merlwyb call your name as she rushes down the hall, surely ready to tear Zenos a new one. “Please...help us.” you beg, watching as he wars with himself, hating that he had gone through too much trauma to cause this hesitation. This fear.

“Honey!” Merlwyb calls as she crouches beside you, checking you over. Glaring angrily up at Zenos once she deems you unharmed, she stands back to her full height, nearly eye to eye with him. “You better have a good explanation, Garlean.”

Unamused and not intimidated in the least, Zenos scoffs, turning his back on the two of you. “Of course I do, savage.” He sighs, eyes still covered in shadow. “The facility is on the outskirts of the city, to the west. You cannot find it because my father has made it imperceptible to nearly all manner of tracking technology.” You watch as his shoulders sink, as if a heavy sin has suddenly put all its weight upon him.

“If you wish to find it, it is hidden under the guise of being a warehouse for father’s technologies, which is why the government has never investigated it. The true work is done nearly malms underground. If you truly wish to end my father as you so claim...reach the bottom of the facility. If you have someone smart enough to activate the shut down sequence, you can end his entire operation.” He pauses and reaches inside his shirt through his collar, pulling a chain with a key attached from underneath. “This will let you pass through any door.” He explains, dropping it to the floor.

He gives one final glance at you before walking away. You sit there broken, wondering how he could possibly turn his back on you. After getting on your knees to beg him to join you, to save the both of you from this nightmare. Even though you see a glimmer of regret in his fierce, blue eyes, it doesn’t stop him from walking down the hallway, into the darkness.

“Good luck.”

[bipabrena]

Beneath x the x Ice (AO3 HisoIllu fic) Chapter 9

A fic where there’s more to Illumi than meets the eye. Hisoka goes to great lengths to help him realise he deserves better than the Zoldycks and being a puppet to his parents.

Read the whole thing here.

X

Amane, Gotoh and three more butlers stood guard around the massive dining room while the Zoldycks sat to dine.

Zeno and Silva strictly discussed business, while Kalluto and Kikyo spoke.

As usual, Milluki was allowed to use his phone to watch anime while he ate.

No one noticed the lonely Illumi.

Everyone alternated between eating and speaking, but Illumi did not. Illumi never moved. He merely stared at his plate with an impassive expression, the same impassive expression he’d always had.

Those huge, large voids for eyes merely stared at the plate of food.

Mouthwatering and delicious, and his stomach ached for it, but his body did not respond to fulfil its wishes. It remained hungry, as it had been for the last week that Illumi had not been eating, and as it would remain for the rest of the day.

Eventually, Silva attracted everyone’s attention so he could explain the job of epic proportions they had next. The one Illumi would take in, the assassination for the Queen.

They all listened intently, but Illumi remained in his bubble of nothingness.

“You have no dignity or a will of your own.”

“You let others make decisions for you, and all you do is nod. How pathetic.”

“You’re not even worth fighting.”

It seemed this is all Illumi could hear inside his head. It had been for the last three weeks, ever since the event with Hisoka transpired.

The family’s attentions was directed to Illumi once Silva addressed him.

But Illumi said nothing.

He hadn’t heard a single word.

It was then they finally noticed his plate was full, his cutlery had been untouched, and the glass was dripping wet as the cold from the beverage condensed from being unheeded.

“Illumi!” Silva yelled. Surprisingly loud, surprisingly firm.

They were all taken aback.

But all Illumi did was slowly look up at him. Aloofly. With zero emotion, with such impassiveness that even put his own family at unease.

It felt different from usual.

“Yes, father?” asked Illumi with a hollow tone that surprised them further.

“I’m speaking to you, son. Did you not hear a word I said?”

“Forgive me,” he said. “I did not.”

“Is something the matter, dear?” Kikyo asked. “You haven’t touched your food.”

“You’re so strong, so absurdly strong, yet so pathetically weak.”

“You have no mind or ambitions of your own.”

“You are pathetic, Illumi Zoldyck.”

“You’re not even worth fighting.”

He blinked impassively at them.

Pathetic… weak… not even worth fighting… he thought. A manipulated manipulator, a puppeteered puppeteer. That’s what he implied.  

“Do you really love your family, or is it only a robotic, forced loyalty?”

Illumi sighed so subtly it was almost imperceptible to those watching him.

… I can’t help but wonder, he told himself.

“Son, your mother is talking to you,” Silva said in a cautioning tone.

Kalluto frowned as concern overwhelmed him.

What was happening?

Illumi seemed absentminded lately during training, but now during dinner, too?

They all expectantly awaited his response.

“I’m fine,” is what he elected to say. “What were you saying, father?”

“The contract for the Royal Family of Kanem will be in forty five days, starting today. We already have everything prepared, it is only a matter of waiting. In the meantime, you will continue responding to other contracts we may get.”

“Yes, father.”

He and Silva exchanged a look. The others couldn’t help stiffening because of the sudden tension that overwhelmed the room. Silva seemed stern and belligerent, while Illumi remained utterly indifferent.

Not defiantly. Not because he didn’t respect Silva or care for his words.

Simply because he felt he had nothing to care about in general.

“You’re an irreplaceable commodity for our family.”

He recalled those words told to him by Silva the day he sat him in his office. The eyes, the tone.

Their relationship had always been so give-and-take.

Nothing more, nothing less.

He’d never experienced the warmth or familial love Killua had been deluged with by his parents and grandfather.

The closest thing to it was Milluki’s fear and respect, and Kalluto’s fondness.

But nothing from his parents or grandfather.

A commodity. A commodity is not even sentient. It’s just a thing, he thought nonchalantly. A thing that benefits you. That’s my role.

Yes, that’s who I am.

I can’t escape the position I was born into.

I’m a servant of my own family. I was born to work for them. To be their puppet. To not have ambitions or goals of my own. Just like I told Killua of himself that day.

Except that those rules do not apply to him.

Yes… a commodity. That’s all I am.

Suddenly, Illumi looked at the ceiling inquisitively. He seemed utterly indifferent to the tension in the room, to Silva’s stern expression on him.

He was simply so absentminded.

It was incredibly concerning to all of them.

“Would you like to eat in your room, dear?” Kikyo asked, and that surprised them.

“No, but if you do permit, I’d like to excuse myself. I have a meeting with a potential client in a few hours.”

“Granted,” is what Silva said immediately.

Illumi stood and left.

His stride was robotic. Lifeless.

Despite being indifferent and emotionless, Illumi always walked with an admirable grace. His body was strong and lithe, he stood tall amongst everyone around him, with pride and with his head held high. He always moved with an intrinsic gracefulness and firm aura that clearly denoted he was strong and could win any encounter.

But right now, he walked with indifference, without purpose, without meaning.

And then, even Silva found it in himself to worry.

X

Illumi stirred his hot chocolate. The shape that had been drawn on it by the skilful barista faded into a foamy spiral.

“Thank you for meeting with me, Illumi,” said Chrollo. “I understand you usually do business through calls, so this does mean a lot to me.”

“It’s no problem. What do you need?” Illumi asked curtly.

“I’m sure you’re aware of this already, but the underground auction will be held soon. I have my own plans for it, but I may need to use your services.”

Illumi’s unblinking, onyx eyes bore into him.

What a strange thing, Chrollo thought.

Illumi’s eyes had always been cold.

They penetrated anyone whose gaze met his. His stare was piercing enough that it’d make anyone feel exposed, and even the strongest man would shiver, however slightly.

He just looked through you.

Like he were navigating every trench of your soul, of your mind; finding weaknesses and creating schemes to exploit them. A penetrating gaze that exposed everything about those submitted to it, but nothing about the one who owned it.

It was a hair-raising thought that everyone who’d ever met Illumi had thought to themselves.

Chrollo himself had thought it when he first met him.

But right now…

Illumi did not carry that presence. He seemed so impassive, so indifferent, so dead. Like there was absolutely nothing inside him. Like he were a shell, a ghost that happened to have a host.

And, somehow, that was even more unsettling. More hair-raising.

“When the time is right, I would like you to kill the ten dons.”

“Okay.”

Chrollo blinked.

“Is there anything else?”

Well… no. But Chrollo didn’t invite Illumi for coffee and snacks only for business. He’d like to get to know him better.

Frankly, he’d love to make Illumi the fourteenth Phantom Troupe member. At the very least, he’d like for Illumi to be an honorary member.

The Troupe rarely got together, there simply weren’t that many heists in Padokea. But with the rising gangs all across the world, he wanted the Phantom Troupe to be at the top as it once was.

Having Illumi around would change everything.

He had the connections to find whatever he wanted. The Phantom Troupe was never about glory, but about a bunch of comrades who did whatever they wanted simply because they could.

But Chrollo would like for the Troupe to be together more often. A couple of heists would be a nice way to stay together.

And with Illumi, he could find anything.

More importantly, it’d be a great excuse to spend time with him. To get to know him better. Even if he didn’t end up joining the Troupe, at least there would be something more between them aside from provider and client.

Illumi stirred his hot chocolate as he watched Chrollo, and Chrollo thought he was cute.

Chrollo listed the facts in his head.

The mafia was a huge deal, but their protection was limited and borderline useless against Nen users. Ultimately, they’ll end up contracting someone who could truly challenge the Troupe once they strike.

Assassins. And the most proficient assassins in the world happened to be in a nearby region.

The Zoldycks.

By having the ten dons killed, it’d leave the Zoldycks with no real targets assigned by a client, and so the Troupe would be scot free.

From the thirteen members in the Troupe, Chrollo knew that only five would pose a threat to the eldest son sitting across him, and the two heads of the family.

Uvogin, Phinks, Feitan, Hisoka and himself.

They were the true threats. The rest wouldn’t stand a chance.

So, if they happened to hire the Zoldycks, eight members would be at great risk of dying. Even Chrollo’s own life could be in danger. However, if he contracted Illumi right here, right now, he’d become his client, and so Illumi wouldn’t be able to kill him.

That’d be at least one less threat.

Chrollo manipulated the truth a little. He explained to Illumi the reason he was hiring him, and what the Troupe’s job entailed.

Illumi nodded.

Then, he decided to bring something else up, something that would bring him closer to Illumi.

“I wanted to know what other services you offer.”

“Elaborate,” is what Illumi said.

“Do you only assassinate? I understand how it may be a futile question with an obvious answer considering your profession, but I was wondering whether you offer other services such as Intel gathering or reconnaissance.”

Illumi’s hollow, nearly hypnotising eyes blinked at him impassively.

“I’m listening,” said Illumi.

“I’m sure you’re already beyond familiar with what the Troupe does. We’re thieves. We like something, we take it. However, there aren’t many heists here in this continent, and the underground auction is all we’ve had in a very long time. If I asked you to gather Intel for me, to find a job for me, would you be able to do it? It goes without saying the pay would be hefty. You’re the one that will put the price, and I will pay whatever it takes, so long as it doesn’t leave me squeaky clean,” he smiled. “But even then, I may still consider it.”

“As it is not a decision I can make on my own, I cannot give you an answer right now. I would have to further discuss it, then get back to you. Is that acceptable?”

“Absolutely, Illumi.”

He could hear it. Illumi could hear it so clearly in his head.

Silva’s voice.

“The pay isn’t worth it. Don’t mess with the Phantom Troupe.”

Well, he wouldn’t be messing with them. He’d be doing a job for them.

“Then, if that will be all, I believe we’re done here. I will be contacting you as soon as possible.”

“Wait, Illumi!” Chrollo called when Illumi stood up after leaving the money for his drink on the table.

Illumi looked at him.

“Won’t you sit and finish your hot chocolate?”

“I wasn’t here for it, I was here to discuss business with you. I don’t need to finish it.”

“Is there anywhere you need to be right now?”

Illumi was silent, and Chrollo took this as dissent.

“If you don’t, why don’t you stay here a little longer? We can chat for a while.”

Illumi said nothing.

It was hard to get him to talk. But that was okay, Chrollo thought. He liked a challenge. And if that challenge happened to be quite pretty, he would be more than okay with accepting it.

“If it’s your job policy to not relax a moment and sit down to talk to someone, I completely understand. If it’s not, however, I don’t see the harm in sharing a hot beverage with a friendly neighbour.”

… Ah, shit.

This wasn’t good. This brought back memories.

This place… the hot beverage…

“You’ve helped me keep an eye on Killu by your own volition.” He leaned back. “There will be a lot of people in that warehouse, possible Nen users too, that you can kill. I wanted to return the favour.”

“So,” Hisoka licked his lips, “as a token of your gratitude, you want to take me out on a date? ♠” he pestered.

Illumi blinked. “It’s not a date.”

“Is it not? ♥” he chuckled, hoping to annoy the eldest Zoldyck. “Because it sounds like one. You and me together, at night…”

Illumi blinked impassively.

… Why am I remembering that right now?

Goddammit.

… Hisoka… he thought to himself with the slightest sense of mourning.

“I suppose it won’t kill me,” said Illumi as he sat back down.

Chrollo smiled. He wasn’t sure whether that was a joke, but in the off chance that it was, he chuckled gracefully.

He brought forth his charms, the charms he used whenever he wanted to steal someone’s ability, whenever he decided to gather information, whenever he wanted to manipulate someone or gradually bend them to his will without them ever noticing.

Except that, for this one time, today was different.

Truly, he wished not to get something out of Illumi.

In fact, the main reason he wanted that new heist was merely to have an excuse to work alongside him. He was willing to pay whatever price Illumi placed. The auction would be soon and the treasure would be hefty, so money was not an issue in the slightest.

He wasn’t sure why the eldest Zoldyck son drew his attention so much.

He just knew that he did.

Read the rest of the chapter here.

[kunstpause-archive]

FFXIV Write Prompt #4: Clinch

“You have something of mine.”

Althea’s voice felt unusually loud in the absolute quiet of the night. Breaking into the royal palace of Ala Mhigo had been considerably much easier than she had expected it to be. Though, finding the center of the palace almost deserted, not a single guard in sight, she had the distinct suspicion that it had been by design. In front of her, several yalms away, stood Zenos, seemingly engrossed by the view across the railing of the large balcony, not even deigning to acknowledge her presence by turning around.

“I did not expect you this soon,” he simply said, conforming her suspicions about the lack of security she had encountered. From his taunts on the battlefield she had known he was expecting her, but she had not anticipated that he would go so far as to clear the way.

“You took my weapon,” she said, getting straight to the point. She was here for a reason after all. His blatant mockery of her seated as he had taken one of her chakrams with a smile still present on her mind. “I want it back.”

“A trophy won fair and square in combat,” Zenos said, still looking over the darkened walls of the palace, like he was completely unbothered by her presence. “I am inclined to simply keep it.”

From the more casual clothing he wore and the absence of his usual battle attire Althea suspected he was unarmed. He had bested her twice before, but for once the situation looked like it was in her favour with him being weaponless while she still had the second chakram hanging from her belt. Before she could think twice she grasped her weapon. Speed had always been her greatest ally, and a second later she sent the chakram flying, aiming precisely at his neck. 

It should have been over right then. By everything she had ever experienced, everything she knew about battle, this should have been it. She should have won. Yet with a casualness and a speed that nearly took her breath away Zenos turned around, plucking the weapon out of the air like it was nothing. He didn’t even spare it a second look as he threw the piece of metal aside.

“If all you wanted to do is hand over the rest of your equipment you should have just said so,” he said with a mocking smile on his lips and Althea felt her blood boiling at his brazen confidence.

He was the living embodiment of all that she hated about herself. The cold distance, the numbness, the utter boredom at the mundane, the miserable existence without a challenge… but it was something even more dangerous somehow.

A mirror of her undesirable traits would have been something she could have ignored but at the same time Zenos managed to be almost everything she so desperately yearned to be. Unbound by the expectations of those around him, the freedom and single mindedness to follow his heart’s desire and the wild abandon with which he carried himself… 

He was everything she loathed and all that she wanted for herself at the same time. 

And he had the audacity to laugh at her. 

“I don’t need a weapon to fight you,” she hissed, going into a battle stance while she was still speaking. She expected more mockery, but to her surprise there was something else entirely on his face. A genuine looking smile and a spark in his eyes that looked like pure joy as he took a step toward her. 

“I hoped you would say that,” he said, still smiling, before he suddenly started to move. 

Althea knew he was fast. In their first encounter, she had underestimated him in that regard. Had assumed that his armor would slow him down, that he relied on brute strength alone to win his battles. By now she knew this wasn’t the case and she reacted instinctively, dodging to the side at the last second. A gust of air as his fist flew past her spoke of just how close he had gotten. A second later Althea threw herself to the ground to dodge another attack as he snapped around and came at her again. She jumped back up on her feat, barely missing the next blow aimed at her as he kept coming at her faster than anyone she had ever fought before. It took her dodging another three blows until she finally found her footing and started to go on the attack instead of only avoiding him.

She knew it was only a matter of time until she wouldn’t be able to avoid one of his hits and when it finally came she was prepared for it. Hot pain went through her arm and her shoulder as she didn’t manage to twist around fast enough and his fist collided with her, sending her staggering backwards for a moment. But Althea ground her teeth together, letting out a hiss as she pushed the pain aside. Without pause charged at him again, for the first time catching him slightly off-guard as her elbow hit its mark. And perfectly so by the brief gasp of air he let out.

After that, everything started to become a blurr. Dodging, striking out, taking hits and returning them whenever possible. There was no sound other than those of their strikes and their ragged breaths as they circled each other endlessly. Althea felt her constitution falter, her arms growing tired and her breath going faster. A taste of copper lay on her lips and yet she did not slow down. Could not slow down. 

She had no idea just how long they had been at this. Her body bruised, she pushed through the exhaustion until a thought made her almost falter. From the very beginning she had been unsettled by the fact that Zenos never stopped smiling while they fought. The look on Zenos’ face had always felt wrong, out of place for what they were doing. Up until now. 

Althea almost doubled over, pain blossoming through her side as she didn’t manage to dodge his next hit. But it barely even registered over the far more important realization that she was smiling too. 

Althea had no doubt that a single mistake could get her killed in an instant, and yet she had never before felt so alive. 

She had only come here, only taken up his bait, because after years of feeling next to nothing he had made her so angry she had felt like a fire was burning under her skin. Where she had felt numb before she was suddenly unable to calm down. Where nothing had managed to stir her interest in years, she had suddenly found herself with a fiery drive, a clear goal - to go after him. Getting the weapon he took back was little more than a justification for what she was truly after. 

Somehow, this infuriating, terrifying person in front of her had managed what no one else had done since Althea could remember. He managed to make her feel something. She wasn’t even entirely certain what exactly it was, but she knew she had to do everything she could to keep that feeling close. 

She imagined that, if anyone could see them, they looked like quite the spectacle, with their never ending bloody but intricate dance. Who led and who followed shifting from moment to moment. 

One step in front of the other, one back, always quick like a whirlwind, turned into something without start or end. Something that never even slowed down. Each movement was both exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. Always with the knowledge that it would take but one wrong move to be over. After all, one could not dare to misstep even once when dancing at the edge of such an abyss. Althea caught herself wondering what it would be like if she let herself fall. If it would truly be the end. 

She would never know. There was only one thing she was absolutely certain about. He didn’t want to kill her, but the moment she would stop fighting he would.

The pain from her wounds was brighter, sharper than usual somehow. The air around them felt crisp and every sound more pronounced. Althea felt like her senses had awoken from a deep slumber, turning the entire world around her into something brighter, something more vivid and tangible. A short, bright burst of laughter left her as she lunged at him, her fist connecting with flesh as she marvelled at the change around her. Suddenly she didn’t know why she had ever thought it strange that he smiled when they fought. What else was there to do when it was the most joyous thing she had ever felt?

And from the glint in his eyes shining brighter, and his smile growing wider with each hit one of them managed to land, Althea knew that he felt it too. That she wasn’t alone with this. Neither one of them was.

When she laughed again something shifted. Suddenly, Zenos was close enough so she could feel his breath on her skin. Before Althea could twist out of his grasp she felt her back hit the wall, dull pain running down her back as the stones pushed harshly into it. She was about to get ready to throw herself forward and headbutt him with all her might when something gave her pause. A soft touch against her face followed by a sharp sting as his thumb dragged over her split lip, wiping away a strain of blood.

“Indeed, you didn’t need a weapon to fight me,” Zenos murmured, his eyes focussed on the trail of blood still on her lips. “And yet I still win.”

“You won’t keep winning forever,” Althea stated with a confidence that was surprising even herself. “I will beat you eventually!”

Again, he belied her expectations by looking at her with delight instead of anger at her audacity. “I do so hope you are right,” he said, his thumb brushing over her lower lip again, pulling ever so slightly until the bleeding started again. “But for now you are defeated.”

Althea was strangely at ease with the notion. He had beaten her twice before and both times he had refrained from killing her. On the contrary, he had explicitly told her to live, to survive, the second time. That, combined with the way he was looking at her now had her almost completely certain that this was yet again not supposed to be her end. 

“I won’t stay defeated forever,” she said with a shrug and her most confident grin. “And I’m afraid I am all out of weapon-trophies for you to take.”

“So it would seem,” he said, sounding almost amused as he spared a glance toward her discarded weapon several yalms away from them on the floor. When he looked back his eyes narrowed at her. “I shall have to take a different trophy then.”

And with that a hot mouth closed over hers and Althea felt herself shudder under his touch. As he pushed her firmer against the wall, teeth nipping on her lips, Althea realized that the fire under her skin had only been the beginning. With a deep groan she pulled him closer, opening her mouth in surrender, ready to find out just how much more he could make her feel.

[write-like-you-mean-it]

A Hunter’s Prey: Killua’s Return

My mind buzzed with every single emotion at once. The nausea was replaced with a rock as big as my stomach. Fear gripped my heart to the point I could feel it tightening around and squeezing the life out of me. The thought of life growing deep inside of me pounded against my skull. When I told Illumi I wanted to have his child, I didn’t mean this soon. 

The air around me began getting thinner and thinner as I tried to breathe in any amount of oxygen in my lungs. My hand grasped the front of my shirt as if I could force my lungs to take in any more. My vision started to cloud as I became fixated on the white stick in front of me. 

I threw the stick across the room as tears finally flowed down my cheeks. I should be happy. We wanted a kid; however, it should’ve been later. Why wasn’t I careful? Why wasn’t he careful? Illumi wouldn’t have planned this. No, Illumi wouldn’t have done this on purpose. 

Panic subsided to a dull throb in the back of my head. Tears continued to fall down my cheeks until I felt there was no more that I could cry. My mind was a metronome of two thoughts: I was happy and pure terror. While I was excited to marry Illumi, having children was a bigger step. This child would be a Zoldyck. They would be forced into a lifestyle that I wasn’t entirely sure I was comfortable with them doing. 

My mind still wasn’t clear the next day. I couldn’t cancel on Gon a second time as Killua’s arrival was less than a week away. I needed to talk with Killua about everything. Something didn’t seem right and the only person who may be able to help was Illumi’s younger brother. 

“Good Morning!” shouted Gon as I made my way across the clearing and to the familiar rock. “Are you feeling better today?”

Gon’s smile almost made me want to match it. He was so self assured that it was almost disgusting. Today, Gon was without his cast from the broken arm. Gon waved the newly formed arm as if to show that he truly is whole again. 

“Morning, Gon,” I responded. The green-haired boy’s face scrunched as he studied me intently. For that split second, I wondered if he could tell of my predicament. Could he sense what was off with me. No. No one would be able to know. 

“Do you feel better today?” he asked before stretching his hands up high,a routine he would always do before our morning run, and I took it as a sign that he knew nothing. 

“Yeah,” I sigh. “It must’ve been a small bug. I didn’t want you to get it but I’m much better.”

Gon still had the smile on his face during the full run. We spirited through the trees like vipers. During this month, I had become accustomed to running. It wasn’t a hobby that I had enjoyed before now. Gon was able to help me feel better, faster than I ever had before. Truly, he was one of the most intelligent children that has graced my presence. Would my child be like him?

I quickly shook the thought from my head as the end of our run came within view. If I were able to hold Ren for the whole two hours today, I would finally be at my goal. 

We stopped only for me to catch my breath before the actual preparations. I took a stance with my feet shoulder-width apart, took a deep breath, and started. The cooling sensation of Nen flowing through my body always left tingles up and down my spine. 

“Oh, I received a letter from Killua yesterday,” said the boy who was doing some push-ups with his newly formed arm. “He’s excited to come meet me. I wrote to him when you first arrived because I wanted to ask if it was alright that you two met again. He didn’t seem too happy but we already planned to go in search of my Nen.”

“Where do you think you’ll look?” I asked.

“We were going to go talk to some old friends. They should be able to find someone.”

I should’ve known that he wasn’t going to tell me. While I was a friend, trust should not have been easily given. Killlua was still hiding from his brother and I was still in contact with Illumi. A double edged sword for both of us. 

“I hope you do get your Nen back, Gon. You’re too special to not have this power. If I could, I’d give mine to you. It would be better suited in your hands than my own.” My words weren’t forced but I still felt a new ache deep within my heart. Gon was still a child. A child that had his life ripped from this Earth and he hasn’t even hit puberty. Maybe it was better for him to not be a full time hunter. He should be a full time child while he still can. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took until the day Killua was to arrive to finally grasp the two hour mark. Only three hours before Killua’s return did my sweaty, tired frame hold Ren for two hours. Gon counted down the seconds as he started jumping with excitement. 

“You did it!” he shouted. Overwhelming emotion hit me as the once distrusting child became so excited when I finally hit my goal. A goal only created to meet his best friend. A goal that only mattered to Illumi. “Try your power again.”

“Huh?” I questioned. “I already met my limit.”

“No, no. You told me last week that you were able to produce fire. Show me.”

I finally realized what he meant. He wanted me to show my Nen in its physical form. I place my hand up and switch my Nen to fully form in my hand. The flame grew bigger than it ever had before. It was a beautiful flame that felt cold to my own touch. I closed my hand around the fire and focused solely on the piece of metal that I’d felt before.

Miraculously, it appeared. This time it wasn’t jagged and raw. The edges were still harsh but only in places where my hand didn’t fit. I must’ve leaned hard into the conjuring category rather than staying a transmuter. 

“You don’t have any fighting experience. Do you?” questioned the child. He was anxiously watching his phone in case Killua would arrive early. Every few seconds, he would look at the device and his smile would drop. 

“No,” I say. “I’ve only practiced with Zeno a few times. I had barely the fire.”

“Why’d you choose a knife? Shouldn’t you try to use your first attack more? Maybe you could even change it inbetween. Like fire that quickly changes to a knife. They’d be great for long range attacks. Shorter ones can be the fire and metal.”

Gon, while being young, had many ideas that I hadn;t thought of before. The only reason I had the metal knife was from when I saved Machi. The knife vanished in my hand and was replaced with the burning fire. So it can change back and forth. 

I decided to take Gon’s ideas and put it into practice. I held my hand straight out and released a burst of flames from them. It was good enough to singe some of the taller grass. I closed my eyes and thought of the fire changing to another attack. Nothing happened. Instead, the fire slowly faded. 

“Maybe it’ll take more practice. I didn’t really know mine quickly.” He thought for a second after checking his phone. “Killua might be able to help. He is a transmuter after all!”

“Speaking of Killua, shouldn’t we return back to the doc. Don’t you want to be there when he arrives?”

“Yes. I’ll race you,” cried the child after he had already started running. I let out a sigh before chasing after him. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Killua’s boat was late. Gon had gotten to the point of pacing in order to calm himself. I’d never seen him so excited in the month I’d known him.His joy brought a smile to my face. There was very little for him to look forward to since he lost the ability to use Nen. Seeing his best friend again was the goal. 

Once the boat arrived, Killua, followed by a little girl, was the first ones to step onto the island. Gon ran up to him and started to ask about his travels and friends and Alluka and everything that would come to his head. 

“Whoa Gon slow down,” commented Killua. “You’re being embarrassing.” Although his words sounded as if he were annoyed, his tone did not. Instead, he looked more happy to see his friend too. Alluka gave Gon a hug. 

It took them a few minutes of talking before Gon remembered my presence. “Oh Killua, this is my new friend Y/N. You may have met her before.”

The white-hair boy’s eyes turned into an icy glare. “Yes. I remember her. What is she doing here?”

“Hello Killua,” I started trying to be polite. “It’s nice to actually talk to you.”

“I’m not going to repeat myself again. What are you doing here?” 

“I-I’m here to see you. And to meet Gon. I’ve heard so much about you that I wanted to actually get to know you.”

“Gon you do know that she is dating my brother,” growled Killua as he pushed Alluka behind him. Passersby started to look at us. A few scoffed at the bizarre situation where children seemed in distress from an adult. 

“I know we got off on the wrong foot last time,” I start. “I really don’t-”

Gon interrupted. “She’s been hanging out with me. I’ve been training her in Nen. Just like Bisky did for us. I gave her a very hard goal but she was able to keep it. It was the only way she could meet you.” 

Killua’s eyes were still locked on mine as he whispered something between the two boys. I let them have their privacy in the hopes of proving myself somehow. 

After much deliberation, Killua seemed to find a solution. “Okay. If you can prove to me that you’re not under Illumi’s control and have free will in loving him then I’ll listen to what you have to say. He had put so much emphasis on ‘loving’ that I knew he wasn’t serious. There was this twinkle in his eyes as if he knew something that I don’t.

“Okay,” I say. “What do you want to know?”

“Nothing until I know if you’re not being manipulated. You and I both know that Illumi is a manipulator.”

“Yes but what does his Nen type have to do with anything else?”

“Are you stupid? The needles. They can control people. Illumi did that to me to force me to run any time I couldn't win a fight. Truly, he is evil. I bet he did it to you too.”

“No,” I say. “Illumi would never do that.” I mumbled my words while shaking my head; however, there could be some truth to Killua’s words. It was rather weird the pull I had towards him. I had always chalked it up to actual love. But could his manipulation last for so long?”

A crowd was starting to gather around us. I, thoroughly confused, looked towards Gon as if he could do anything. “Let’s go back to my house. We can talk about this more.”

Killua, begrudgingly, agreed. 

Once at Gon’s house, Aunt Mito expressed how she was cooking dinner for all the new guests. We, on the other hand, stayed outside to finish our talk before Aunt Mito would finish the meal. 

“Alluka, it is nice to finally meet you too,” I said while Gon and Killua were catching up with Mito. Killua wasn’t far out of sight so he could keep an eye on her. 

She looked confused at why I was talking to her. 

“Oh, let me introduce myself. I am YN and I am dating your brother, Illumi. I’m not sure if you picked that up earlier.”

“You’re dating mean brother? Why?”

“Nope we do not talk to Alluka,” interrupted Killua while pulling her into the other conversation. “I’m doing this for everyone’s safety. I was left along with my thoughts once more. Illumi’s siblings really don’t have a strong pull towards their brother. Kalluto seems to be the only one who actually has nice feelings. Milluki has a weird disdain for him. Killua despises him. Alluka doesn’t like him. How many enemies has Illumi made?

Killua and Gon finally returned when Mito had to get back to cooking. “Where I found my needle was in my head.” The former assassin’s hands became a sharp point. “I can easily see if there is one and get it out. If there isn’t then I’ll answer just about anything about my brother.”

“If there is?” I question. 

“Then I think you have bigger things to deal with.”

I lean down so that I am eye-level with Killua. “I trust your brother so I’ll trust you.” My heart started to beat quicker as I closed my eyes. The pain was only there for a second. An instant of blinding pain and a sudden relief. I could feel blood drip from the entry point down my face. 

When I opened my eyes, I saw blood mixed with a small pin. “See, I knew my brother would have pulled some shit like this.” 

I almost didn’t hear him as my whole world crashed before my eyes while I stared at the small pin. Illumi had been manipulating me the whole time and I didn’t even know.

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[catbowserauthor]

Fear, Love and Oblivion: a DBZ/DBS Fanfiction

So, I don’t like the anime ending of the Goku Black arc. Not because it feels tacked on (though it does) but because of the other implications of it.

When Lord Zeno destroys Future Trunks’ timeline to destroy Zamasu and Goku Black, they are not all he destroyed.

OOO

It came with a wave of warm light.

Just a pinprick in the distance to be honest. Easy to miss if you weren’t looking for it but Gohan had never taken his eyes off of the struggles of the earth he left behind. In a way, he never forgave himself for leaving Trunks behind even though there wasn’t much to be done about it. He’d not been strong enough and he knew it. But there hadn’t been much choice left.

Seeing how Trunks has prevailed since then...well, Gohan didn’t know if it was possible to be more proud than he was. While you couldn’t see everything from the Afterlife, you could see quite a bit and when he got the chance, he would look down on him.

King Yemma had said something was amiss on the Earth and not just the Earth but all over the universe. Something that had divine energy and yet not. He mentioned a set of Dragonballs that Gohan had never heard of and that had left an ominous feeling in Gohan’s heart.

Then Bulma had come through the Check In Station.

Oh, it felt like forever since anyone had seen her! Gohan knew it felt like that for him! As sad as the prospect of her death was, he was glad to see her again.

Then she’d recoiled from his dad like he was some kind of monster. The look that took on Goku’s eyes was heartbreaking; Bulma was his oldest friend. Not his only friend, not by far, but their relationship had always been a unique one.

Seeing her try to scramble away until Gohan had managed to talk her down, Goku had all but collapsed to the ground. When she finally managed to look at him again without utter terror in her eyes...it was unnerving.

Then Bulma had started talking.

About this Goku Black. What a horrific concept, Gohan thought. His father, despite his Saiyan blood, had always been a protector, someone that would risk himself for someone else. That someone was using his father’s image to commit atrocities made Gohan see red.

“Trunks will take care of him.”

He meant that. He meant that with every fiber of his being. He knew the depths of Trunks’ passion. If there was a means to destroy this Goku Black then Trunks would find it.

Yet as Gohan stood on the edge of Grand Kai’s planet, trying to sense what he could sense, he felt...fear.

So many dead. So much anxiety. So much hopelessness and the darkness of one ki—or was it two? Hard to tell—they felt identical but were separate and one had the ki of his father’s body—or a version of his father’s body—worn like a sick mask. The sickness underneath it bled through.

And he really wasn’t sure he was feeling ki. It was more like...well, like something was there and was vibrating with such a dark feeling that he was catching waves off of it rather than the source. Like a black hole was found by the reactions around it and not the hole itself.

“It’s Lord Zeno! He has deemed us no longer worthy!”

That statement, uttered by one of the Kaio, Gohan wasn’t sure which, was enough to produce mass hysteria. People shouting, running, pleading, asking for mercy.

A hand fell on his shoulder.

Looking up, he felt a sense of warmth at seeing his father there.

“Do you know who Zeno is, Dad?” He finally asked.

“Nope. Big shot, by the looks of it.” Goku faced that speck of white light that Gohan had been monitoring and closed his eyes. “I think I know why the panic though.”

Frowning, Gohan followed his father’s look. It was a rare thing to see his father’s face so serious and melancholy. But as Gohan focused his senses, he began to see why.

Ki. Vanishing. Just gone. Not dead. That was a different feeling. That was a transfer of energy. This was just...utter erasure. Completely and fully and in the blink of an eye. Human, animal, tree, rock, water.

Just...gone. Ceased. Emptiness in its place. Void.

And it all centered on that white light that was spreading like an all encompassing ocean, dissolving whatever it touched and spreading.

Inching over land, sky and everything in between. Down beyond what the mind could sense, into the bowels of the ocean. Leaving just empty whiteness in its wake.

Zeno...Gohan pondered the word. He knew there were a lot of possibilities but given everything, he didn’t think his assessment was wrong.

‘King of All.’

The warm light was getting closer and it carried a terrible wind with it, almost as if announcing utter oblivion. Despite its warmth, there was no joy to be had in it and fear took Gohan down to the depth of his soul.

Dying, he could handle. He’d done it without a second thought to protect this world and the people within it. He would gladly do it again. Because it left behind people to carry on in his place. People that would succeed where he failed.

But this?

This looming permanence of nothingness. Of being...of not being. Not just him but everyone, everything, everything that had ever been!

“Trunks got away.”

Goku’s words were spoken calmly without much gumption. “I felt his ki disappear but not like this. It kinda...popped. So, he went somewhere else. Not here.”

Oh course. The Time Machine he’d used to jump timelines. Made sense it could jump...well, wherever it jumped to. “Trunks is alive.”

Goku nodded, wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulders. “He’s got a good memory. He’ll make sure we ain’t gonna just...be gone.”

It was so close now. Hot, almost burning. Gohan trembled before it. “But...all we did. All we fought for. All for nothing.”

“Not nothing, Son. Everything you learned you gave to Trunks. He ain’t here. Not for nothing.”

Gohan could almost taste it. The emptiness that closed in on them like a wave that could not be stopped. He saw the pathway leading up to the planet vanish as if it had never been. He saw small figures, fighters he’d grown fond of, disappear and just...cease.

Fear took his heart. Fear unlike any he’d felt before and he wanted to run and scream and cry. He wanted to...well, he was dead so not live but exist. To be. To just...

His voice was quaking though he wasn’t talking. Not really. More like letting sounds come from his throat that he had not made in years.

Tears.

Yes, he was crying.

A hand fell on his empty sleeve and another cupped his cheek and turned him away from that white wave that looked ever closer.

Goku...his father...looked on him with eyes full of warmth and love. “Look at me. Not at that. Look at me.”

He did. He lost himself in those eyes he’d seen close forever that fateful day so long ago. Before that war against the Androids. Before losing everyone he cared about. Before losing the world he loved...

“...Daddy.”

He’d not called him that since the day Goku died. It felt so alien now. But right.

Goku pulled his son tight into his chest, one arm over his head and effectively blocking his sight. If this was how it was to end, his son would not go looking eternal death in the face.

“I’m here, son. I’m here.”

Gohan squeezed his eyes tight even as he held his father so close he swore they should have merged into one another.

“I’ll always be here.”

And to that, Goku kept his word, holding his only child as tight as he could until oblivion took them both—together.

[autumnslance]

Not anon but I --5.25 SPOILERS-- would be interested to know your thoughts on the revelation about Midas being under Bahamut's control, especially with the context of trauma-altered memory. I've been pondering tinfoil about this reveal as some kind of subconscious & deeply ingrained coping mechanism for Cid to exonerate the memory of his father, even if a little bit... then again that might be my--FF7 SPOILERS--Cloud Strife brain cell talking.

Let me tell you what I wish I’d knownWhen I was young and dreamed of gloryYou have no controlWho lives, who dies, who tells your story-”History Has Its Eyes on You”, from Hamilton

In Stormblood, I connected George Washington’s song a lot to Gosetsu as he mentored Hien and the WoL through the Azim Steppe and Doma’s liberation, and then later in the patch content with the difficult decisions made in those story arcs.

In Shadowbringers, there’s a lot more emphasis on memory and stories, particularly in 5.2. So I’ve been thinking of that short but impactful song a lot more often lately, in regards to who has survived to tell the stories that makes heroes and villains of the characters. What perspective does the Wandering Minstrel--or Minstreling Wanderer--hear?

It starts with how since we arrived on the First, the stories of the Warriors of Light were twisted or lost, leaving the WoL and Cyella (and a few others among the fae and viis who remember) to try to retell them a hundred years later to reclaim the legacy of those five as the heroes they were, not the villains people have heard about. In 5.2, much emphasis is given tothe history of Archmage Tiuna, a hero of Ronka and past Warrior of Light. To the origins of the name for the “Isle of Ken” that hides Bismark’s presence, forgotten and unknown by most people, though the man lived just before the Flood. To the story of Minfilia’s rebirth over and over and what that meant for those girls, and the glimmer of hope they represented. To Gaia’s disjointed memories and lost past, choosing to look now to the future.

Of the Ascians own susceptibility to the vagaries of time and preference and some tempering, but mainly perhaps their own grief and anger as they look back on the halcyon days of Amaurot and show or tell us what their perspective--as the privileged leaders of their people, mind--recalls thousands of years later.

Over and over, the recurring theme of Shadowbringers is the choral line: Who lives who dies, who tells your story?

HOW do they tell your story? If they do, or can, at all?

In “Save the Queen” we learn about the memory crystals and another aspect of the Echo. Mikoto’s version of the Blessing lends credence to the various oracles and prophets Louisoix and Urianger studied. The relic chain also clarifies how the city introduction scenes in 1.0 worked, and the WoL’s interactions with/repair of Cid’s memories in 2.0 on the airship with the goggles. Here again, we go into our engineering pal’s mind, but this time in a controlled manner with guidance afforded by the crystal.

It’s terrifying in its implications and possibilities, as easily abused as it is helpful for dealing with trauma, which it seems is the main intention of the device and one’s Echo. Canonically, most people with the Echo naturally are written as people inclined to help others (even if they aren’t always very good at it, or go about it the right way, as we saw with Ysayle’s flailing efforts). Still, there’s an ambivalence to literally changing someone’s mind, though we try a few times in the duty to alter the memories--such as when soldiers are fighting rebels or cutting down civilians.

I had a friend watching me play for my reactions, and one that made him grin (I could hear it, Patrick) was when I got to the plaza with Dalamud overhead and “Answers” suddenly kicking in as the music track. The first barrier to getting to the end and finding out “the truth.” Cid lost his memory for five years after watching Dalamud fall and Bahamut rampage across the land. Altering the Lunar Transmitter was an emotional plot point in the Omega raids. It makes sense part of his nightmare would involve the satellite and the dragon.

There are a couple ways the reveal about Midas can go.

In Praetorium, Gaius alluded to Midas being tempered. It seems odd to have it “revealed” now, rather than “confirmed.” Except, do we really have it confirmed? We have Cid’s memory of his father acting strangely, disregarding scientific facts, shooting him--

--and maybe Cid needs an explanation for that. Maybe he latched onto Gaius’ insinuations in the Praetorium and his memories, already trying to protect him from the truth, used Gaius’ words to offer one last protection. “Your father shot you because he was tempered” and not because Midas was too far gone in his own obsession and loyalty, while young Cid was already wavering in how much he owed the empire, how much harm his inventions were causing across Ilsabard and Othard.

On the other hand, it’s often repeated the Echo shows the truth--not anyone’s perception or falsehood, but what really happened. Maybe, after summoning our own memories and inspiring our friend, after cutting through Cid’s self-defenses, we do, in fact find the truth in Gaius’ words: Midas nan Garlond was one of Bahamut’s first modern thralls. And that was a memory Cid didn’t want to remember, either, something just as hard to cope with as seeing his father on the other side of that smoking barrel. That no matter what, his father was lost, body and soul. Cid could never have saved him.

Either way is a very traumatizing experience and realization, and it’s no wonder his mind rebels so much we end up facing off against memories of Bahamut and Varis (to make up for never getting to fight him for reals cuz Zenos is a kill stealing lil--*cough*). There’s a lot of fascinating psychology here I am not qualified enough to go into further, but those are the two ways I see this particular story beat going.

History currently remembers one thing, but maybe Cid can still change the story, and his father will be remembered as another tragic victim of the Calamity, instead of one of its instigating villains. Maybe in a new story Midas can be redeemed and history will see things differently in a few years.

After all, one of Cid’s best friends is Jenomis--the playwright retelling the story of the Zodiac Braves and altering even the modern ending of that tale and what happened in Ivalice. Whose son wants to write about the Warrior of Light someday, to tell our story and determine how history will remember us. Meanwhile, young Azami is set to become Yotsuyu’s biographer, and Honoroit has already written about the adventures in the Sea of Clouds--a companion piece to the tale Edmont already told in Heavensward.

And in an alternate future that may or may not exist any longer, that history, that story, that memory, is the only glimmer of hope left.

As a writer and lover of stories, I think about these threads a lot through Stormblood and Shadowbringers.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Stories, Tales & Facts (Part 2.) (Sriracha, Part 37.)

Series description: A problematic college student gets the worst summer job of the ‘83 - Jim Hopper, the Chief of police in your hometown will have you as his secretary since his old lady Flo has two months lasting holiday. It was agreed so Hopper could let you far away from all the trouble.

Part Summary: As Hopper proceeds to show you facts to prove his sanity, you're starting to play with thoughts about these stories he told maybe having some truth in them.

A/N: Inspired by Mirkwood, In the Void, She'll Kill You and the Upside Down from the Stranger Things season one original soundtrack by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein, since these are just the the shit.

Word count: 3.2 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @missdictatorme @ysljordy @creedslove

Series master list: H E R E

GIF SOURCE

There was nothing. In all seriousness, there was nothing. Your eyes couldn't see a single shape around you. It felt as if you stepped into a different dimension right after you stepped out of the safety of the control room and continued through the small contamination room. The light that was surrounding you just seconds ago... It had disappeared, being absorbed by the void of darkness around you. You felt scared out of your mind.

Also, it got drastically colder when you stepped out of the safety of the facility constructs. Even your in your super warm winter jacket, you could feel goosebumps on your arms. You were looking around cautiously, even if you couldn't see a thing. You freaked out a bit when you heard the sound of the old flashlight being started and you saw the shape of Hop's figure spinning the handle. When the light came out it, you were blinded by it for a second before you got used to it. You weren't in the safety of the building, not anymore. You were walking on a soil-like terrain in a cave of sorts, and the hall of the cave was just huge.

That was when you noticed the white snowflakes falling to the ground and while Hopper was searching for something, you looked up, watching the small white particles falling. There was just a bit of it, but it still rose your eyebrows... But when was it the last time it snowed in a cave?

"Don't touch it, okay? It's not what you think it is." - Jim spoke out from walking in the soil with the flashlight searching for something in the darkness. These weren't any snowflakes. These small white piles and snowflakes on the ground were the remnants of the Upside Down itself. Jim knew what these little motherfuckers could to you pretty well - last time he breathed some in, he collapsed and fainted in the veins leading under one of the farms in the Hawkins suburbs. - "It shouldn't be toxic to breathe them in since there's not a lot of them. Just don't poke it or anythin'."

You watched him still searching for something in the dark - until he bumped into a machine of sorts. Slowly, he put a red handle down, which made a mechanism of work again. A huge iron wheel above you started spinning, making cranky and annoying sounds since it wasn't oiled in ages. While Hopper was managing the machinery, you were having a small expedition to look around. You were walking carefully with small steps, dodging the piles of spores on the ground. That place was scary - and the void of darkness around you was making it even more terrifying. You saw something yellow next to your leg - just to find out that it was a part of a full-body rubber suit. To your surprise, it was the helmet. That was what they had to wear to breathe here before? You had just a scarf on... Jesus.

How much of that white shit was there previously? Obviously, there was way more since there was a fucking gate to some different dimension opened.

Suddenly, you lost balance and you felt your leg slipping off from a cliff. You yelled loudly, feeling the rest of your body following your leg and for a second, you were terrified that you'll fall into the darkness. That was when Hopper's palm caught your jacket, pulling you back, accidentally kicking a pile of these snowflakes, making them fly around you. He tore off his scarf, making sure your mouth and nose are secluded before he covered his face with his jacket.

"Stay close. The cliff is maybe half a mile, even a whole mile long." - Jim muttered trough the jacket, offering you a hand. You nodded and caught it, not thinking about how angry you were with him at the moment. Hopper was making sure you can see where your stepping while you still held the splitters you snatched your dad. Only that was making you slightly better.

For a while, you stood there in silence and listened only to the quiet sounds coming from below you and to the shrieks the machinery was made. It turned out to be a kind of an elevator on a pulley which was dragging it up and down. With a short exhale, you stepped into the elevator, not letting Hopper's hand go, not even for a small moment. He pulled another lever, making the elevator shake when it started to move again. This time, it was going back into the void where it came from with you in it.

The shrieks of the machinery were slowly fading as the void had consumed it as well. After a while, you noticed that Hopper was shining light onto something. It was a huge crack in the soil wall in front of you which was somehow sealed up. This was the place where Eleven had fought the Mind Flayer.

And it wasn’t a normal crack in the soil, it wasn’t caused by any landslide or anything like that. It seemed to be sealed off, pressed together unnaturally.

"Oh Jesus..." - You mumbled through the fabric of Jim's scarf, looking right in front of you because you couldn't see anything else. You couldn't tear your eyes off of the crack, feeling your heart-stopping inside your chest. You turned your head at Hopper, staring at his jaw.

You didn’t know if you’re more angry, terrified, or surprised. You were pretty angry since Hopper knew about all of that and he, neither any other person you knew, had told you about this. You were terrified since all of that... That was... Insane. You now believed, at least partially, that Hopper wasn’t fucking with you.

“Do you finally believe I haven’t lost my mind?” - Hopper asked, still looking at the crack in the soil. Without hesitation, you nodded and held his hand even tighter. - “I have more to show you. We need to go to the cabin now.”

You did as you were told; both of you got back to the control room and walked back the same route through the facility - it was still looking as creepy as before, but you felt better because even if you didn’t go to the tunnels under Hawkins, the cave was one of the scariest places you have even been in.

When you sat down in the car, you immediately started the heating - you knew that you felt cold in there, but you didn’t realize that you were cold. Before you rode away from the building, you waited until your fingers got a bit warm because these bad boys were cold as ice.

You still remembered the way to the cabin - but you knew that you cleaned it off with El, Steve, Jonathan, and Joyce. The items that could be still put into use you gave up to charity, the rest you took to the dump. The cabin had huge tears in its roof, the snow was falling in - but strangely, it still felt like home to you. All it took was one look and the memories flew over your head.

Jim expected it to be completely cleaned, just as you told him, but he didn't expect the cabin to be as badly damaged as it was. He took a moment to look at it, letting the memories fly over your head as well. It was his granddad’s cabin and now... It was a miracle that it didn’t collapse. But just as he assumed, you hadn’t found his small spot under the wooden floor. He took three boxes from under it - one called New York, another called Hawkins National Laboratory, and the other two carrying the names Dad and Vietnam. Without asking, you helped him carry the boxes into the car, riding back to your parents’ house.

There, you both sad in front of the fireplace with a hot cup of coffee only in your pajamas to get at least a fucking bit warmer. First, you opened up the Hawkins Lab box - and holy fuck, you did almost choke on your coffee. Hopper had everything - taped of audio you listened to, recorded by some doctor Brenner who was talking about Eleven’s progress with her telepathic abilities. He had photos of her, which made you cry even more. Jesus, she was tiny, too skinny, and her hair... Her head was shaved in a military-like style. Hop showed her drawings, photos of Brenner, some more documents. But these hadn’t a word blacked out. You could perfectly read what was written on it.

The Hawkins Lab box made you throw up. And you had to say that Hopper was a lot of things, lunatic not being one of them.

“I have to say... I owe you an apology. I mean, are you even surprised that I reacted the way I did?” - You asked, being ashamed of yourself. You were willing to trust even the story about Russians - if you didn’t, Hopper would gladly let you call Murray for that matter. But you did.

“It would still be fine to hear some other people than me sayin’ it out loud. We can visit the Wheelers tomorrow, meet the kids there so you can have the full picture. They'll surely answer the rest of your questions.” - Hopper smiled sadly, knowing how it insane all of it could appear to be. You nodded without hesitation and let Hopper call Karen to let her know. Her mind was officially blown - Hopper alive and well in Hawkins? Hold your damn horses. Nobody was expecting that.

When he was gone, you peeked into another box - the one named New York. You smiled tenderly when the first thing you saw was, presumably, Sara’s drawing of a house, him and Diane. There were a lot of documents and some Zeno cards, these were tied with the Card murders. You smiled, even more, when you took out his old personal patch of NYC detective batch along with a nameplate. Both having Detective James Hopper carved in. Your man was a true New York detective.

You freaked out when you heard him stopping behind you just when you held a photo of him, Sara and Diane in your fingers.

“I’m sorry, I was just curious. I’ll put it...” - You mumbled, but fingers around your wrist stopped you from doing so. Jim's palm copied yours and you could feel his chest bumping into your back. He wasn't directly holding you in his arm, nor he intended to, but it felt nice.

"That's Sara's sixth birthday. We were in this boujee place of some rich people and I didn't, for the love of God, know where to sit with my wine and I didn't want to mess their place up. Summer of '77." - Jim sighed and you could hear that he got lost in his memories for a while.

"She's cute. I would like to meet her." - You answered just as quietly. You were talking about Sara, of course. She had blonde hair and doll-like blue eyes. Jim smiled, looking at the profile of your face, noticing every small detail. He noticed how beautiful your lips were looking, how long eyelashes you had and your nose was such a gentle contour... You were the most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on.

"She was amazin' and she would love you. That's somethin' I'm sure of. But maybe I wouldn't have got the chance to meet you if..." - His breath hitched and he looked away from the photo. You knew what he's trying to say, so you just put the photo into the box. As soon as you were bent over the box, you missed the warmth of his body on your back. You made him jump a bit when you suddenly laughed out loud.

"And look at these bad boys!" - You exclaimed and got up, holding a piece of vinyl in your fingers. Before Jim could realize what you had found, first notes were already playing. You found his guilty pleasure - about ten of Jim Croce's vinyl records. Back in the day, he was listening to them so much that Diane had mesmerized all the texts by her heart. - "I mean, my grandpa has all of these, but who am I to judge?" - You grinned at the first chords of You Don't Mess Around With Jim.

This song happened to be Jim's trait over the last couple of years. Everyone in Hawkins knew that Chief loved that fucking song. Especially after night and after having a good laid, he was screaming the song all over the fucking city when he was driving to the station. Which was pretty bald when you considered that he could sing for shit.

"Uptown got its hustlers, the bowery got its bums. 42nd street got Big Jim walker - he's a pool shootin' son of a gun. Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come. But he stronger than a country hoss." - You sang with such passion that it barely called in with how cold you were acting the last two days. Honestly, it made Jim grin.

"Come, are you a fossil to just sit there and watch me making a total dumbass out of myself in front of you?" - You stopped suddenly, furrowing so hard that you had a wrinkle on your forehead. Croce was still singing the rest of the song, slowly getting to the chorus itself.

"I thought you're angry with me." - Jim asked quietly, shifting into a more comfortable position, watching you dancing to the rhythm. You stopped and put your hands on your hips, having a rather expressionless face.

"I will be fucking angry again if you won't get up and dance with me, James. This is supposed to be a kind of a... Peace settling and you're not getting it. Come on." - You said coldly and offered him a helping hand, starting to sing the chorus, knowing every single word.

"You don't tug on superman's cape. You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off that ol' lone ranger - and you don't mess around with Jim." - Adding a little "parararum" at the end of the chorus. And so, Jim gave in a danced with you for a while. After that, you settled down in front of the fireplace, going through the boxed as you listened to Jim Croce playing other songs from his best album.

Jim showed you tons of photos of Sara and told you short stories of what happened the days the photos were taken. It didn't matter how long you've known each other and what have you talked about... It didn't matter how much heart-to-heart talks you had before, this heart-to-heart memory sharing felt like the first real talk you ever head with each other. He never spoke to you about Sara and Diane as calmly as he did that night.

You spoke hundreds, thousands of words. Sometimes, you were just sitting there, hours in a row, letting him speak, and get lost in his memories. He even felt courageous enough to show you his medal from Vietnam and his photo from Vietnam. He was such a young boy there. You couldn't even believe that your man once looked like that. You were laughing like crazy at the funny stories from Vietnam, you were deadly serious when he told you the gross stuff in detail. Once, you even started crying because of the terrible things he had described. The other stuff was disgusting, that couldn't be denied.

To brighten up the overall mood again, you showed him your childhood photos - the ones where Steve Harrington was running naked around the pool and the one you loved the most. It was the day when you got Lady for your birthday. She was there, laying just a few feet away from you, sleeping. Then you out the other family album where you had photos of him and El - at least the ones which you managed to save from the rampaged cabin. There was still the drawing El gave you on the independence day - it was torn apart, pasted together by see-through tape.

You went to sleep pretty late - it was almost three a.m. and the snow was quietly falling behind the window. The fire was burning just a bit, not even warming you up at that point. It was time to call it a night - especially for Jim, who didn't fall asleep the day before.

Something was bugging you off when you laid down in your room and put the blanket over your head. Every time you closed your eyes something urged you to open them again. After half an hour, you were pissed and got up, walking to the guest room to find out if Hopper's still awake or if he has already fallen asleep. First, he seemed to sleep, but then he massaged his eyes and leaned into his elbow.

"What? You havin' some nightmares, you can't sleep, or do you have more questions?" - Hopper mumbled sleepily. So he was asleep, but you managed to wake him up. He never was waking up so easily, but you didn't comment on it.

"I just can't fall asleep even if I'm dying for some good sleep." - You yawned and smiled at him. - "See you in the morning, yeah? Sorry for waking you up, Hop." - You slowly closed the door, getting ready to watch some movie or something like that so you could fall asleep during that.

"You sure you're good? I've shown you some wild shit today, I'm not surprised you can't fall asleep." - Jim smiled sloppily. - "Get your pillow and other shit here, this bed's big enough so you don't have to be worried about some touches or somethin' like that." - Hopper jokes and to both your and his surprise, it made you chuckle. But you did what you were told - just a while after that, you were tiptoeing into the king-sized bed. You couldn't fall asleep for another hour while Hopper just died next to you. He had a coma basically and he was snoring loudly.

But for the first time in a long time, you didn't mind a bit of Jim's snoring didn't ruin your mood - it meant that Hopper is sleeping safe and sound next to you and that nothing bad is going to happen to him. At least that night.

[kiame-sama]

Could you do a forced lemon for zeno because I lowkey have to admit that he's hot asf please and thank you 🥰

Warnings; Drugged Reader, descriptive lemon, non-con lemon, yandere behavior, manipulative behavior, age difference, obsessive behavior,

~~~~~~~~

How? How was this possible? What form of nen manipulation was being put on him to make him see... Her?

He had only glanced in her direction once as she passed by and that was all he needed to know. Looking just like she had all those years ago when he last saw her alive. Before she had been taken from him far too soon. He remembered every distinct detail about her lovely (e/c) eyes and how they lit up when she smiled that sweet exhausted smile as she gently cradled their newborn son. Her body was spent and her only goal was to hold on long enough to hold her son before the sheer force of giving birth squeezed the last few beats from her heart.

It has been quite a while since that day, when his heart was wrenched from his chest in such a brutal way. He survived the pain, where his father before him had not. He lived on, raising Silva and hiding his mourning away from the world and from himself. But every ache, every pulse of blood, every fragmented memory he had shoved away came back in full force the moment his eyes landed on her.

It just couldn't be. He had to know. He had to find out.

He had gone first to Gotoh, learning what he could from the bits of information he had to go off of. Her name was still the same as it was all those years ago, (y/n). Even going as far as to compare a picture of his lost beloved with this new creature who had captured his attention, a perfect match. It was becoming increasingly clear that it truly was her. It was his (y/n). He didn't know how and he didn't honestly care. All that mattered was that she was back.

He almost believed it too good to be true, needing conformation from his grandfather who also agreed with his assumption. His (y/n) had been reborn and she had been in his reach for so long he was ashamed in himself for not noticing earlier. Apparently she had been working for the family for a year already and he only now noticed who she was.

She wasn't slipping away from him ever again. He may have aged and tried to carry on without her, but she looked as if she hadn't aged a day. She was still his young and spritely wife. He didn't know if she would remember him, as it was truly a life time ago for her when they last shared a moment together. That craving he had ignored for so long was gnawing aggressively at his mind, clawing to get free and to sink its teeth into her once more.

He needed to ensure that his little dove couldn't fly away from him the moment he sprang his trap so he decided to go to an extreme. She would forgive him eventually for what he planned to do. It would be cruel to make him wait longer than he already has in order to hold her at his side again, feeling her warm body against his own.

Changing schedules around was easy enough, no one brave enough to question him about the sudden changes he put into motion. The week would run her ragged, leaving her exhausted and in need of serious rest when it finally rolled around to his assignment for her. Something peaceful and boring. Sorting through old books that have already been gathered for her.

Just to ensure that she would be willing and defenseless, he already planned the perfect blend of chemicals to put into the tea he was going to offer her. It would make her such an easy target as it would force her into submission and make her so bothered that she won't try to say 'no' when he finally makes his move. He didn't care how morally wrong it was, he was just elated it was possible. He would have his only love back by his side after so many years without her.

A soft knock on the door rang through the room, right on schedule.

"Come in."

"Yes, sir."

A shiver ran down his spine as he heard her lovely voice call out, trying to not seem as hungry for her in order to keep her calm. When she entered the room, her eyes were cast towards the ground, refusing to meet his own. He was almost angry about it before he remembered that all staff were trained to keep their eyes on the floor out of respect. She looked exhausted, just as he had planned, and she seemed ready to fall asleep at any moment.

To some extent, he felt sorrow for putting his darling dove through such a rigorous week, but soon she would never have to work again. Soon, he can take her for himself and make sure to treat her like a queen, just as she deserves to be. She will never have to worry about working or trying to avoid the family, since she was to become his wife once again.

"Sit."

"Yes, sir."

"Your task is to organize these books."

"Yes, sir. Right away."

He wanted to scowl, pleased she was being so obedient but displeased she was so formal with him. Perhaps that would change and she would return to her sharp tongued self, snapping at him any moment she could get. The prospect of being able to tame her once again was an exciting one, looking forward to that innocent little blush of her's.

It only took a moment for him to realize he was still staring and to move his gaze away, not wanting to make her suspicious of him. He allowed her to work in silence as he held open a book in front of him, keeping an eye on the time and occasionally turning a page. It was clear that the rigorous week was beginning to affect her as she sorted through the books. She fought to keep her eyes open but it was clearly growing increasingly hard for her to do so.

She snapped to attention the moment the door opened, another staff member carrying in two cups of Jasmine tea, setting them down and quickly leaving without a word. It was almost laughable how easy it was to slip the mixture of medicine into the drink farthest from him without her noticing. She was focused exclusively on the task he had given her, trying to force herself to remain awake.

"Tea?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. Thank you, sir."

It was so cute watching her flustered expression as he spoke to her, seeing that sweet tint of color in her cheeks. She was unaware of his staring as she took a long drink from the cup of tea sitting nearest to her, gently setting it down as she returned to her work. He couldn't stop the triumphant grin that pulled at his lips, knowing it won't be long now.

It barely took a handful of minutes before her eyes were closing, head drooping slightly to one side as the drugs took full effect on her exhausted body. He can finally have her back in his arms, where she belongs. Her sweet and peaceful expression made him want to take her here and now, but his queen shouldn't be taken savagely on a couch. No. She should be wrapped in only the finest cloth and laid out on the softest bed, treated like the most delicate and precious treasure in the world.

He had to control himself as much as possible despite the fact that his darling was a lovely siren's song to his senses. Her body was warm and her scent was irresistible to him, making him reach his room in record time.

Everything was already set up for her arrival, the softest of blankets, plush over-stuffed pillows, new robes, new clothes, new bed, everything. It was all for her.

Of course, she will likely be scared when she awakens as she would be in a new environment and not where she last was. She will also likely be similar to a cornered animal, ready to lash out and escape the very moment it is presented to her. This is why he had a diamond chain added to the room, long enough to move around the room and bathroom freely, but not long enough to escape.

It would merely be a training tool until she calms down and accepts her new place by his side. Once she is docile and submissive enough to him, the chain will come off. The collar he had picked out especially for her will remain on until she proves she can be completely trusted. Until that point, it will serve as a reminder that she will be tethered back up if she acts out or retaliates.

But first things first...

It took only a flick of his wrist to rip open the suit jacket and dress-shirt she wore. It didn't look bad on her, but the sight that lay underneath was nothing short of a divine blessing. Her soft flesh beneath his fingers sent a carnal lust into his very being, as if a match had been struck and his flesh set ablaze.

She was everything he remembered... Her shapely breasts perched on her ribs, her soft stomach... Even as he ran his fingers over her delicate skin he couldn't help but lick his lips in anticipation. Slowly sliding off her black dress-pants, his heart began to thunder in his chest as more of her delectable flesh was revealed. Her hips lightly twitch beneath the soft drag of his nails skating over her lower stomach, closer and closer to his desired target.

Removing her underclothes took even less effort as they tore beneath his finger-tips, leaving her entire body on display just for him. His angelic darling... His beautiful dove.

It took all of his will-power to not take her then and there, knowing a few more things needed to be done first. Her collar was a perfect fit and beautifully complimented her warm skin, hugging her throat in such a way that it wouldn't take long for her to adjust to the feeling. Her figure was divine in the loose kimono he had gotten her, the sheer black fabric hugged her curves in such a way that it only accented her body, still showcasing the skin beneath.

He still had time before the drugs in the mixture responsible for keeping her asleep wore off, knowing that he should enjoy the peace now as she will take time to train. He would be able to enjoy all of her without hassle once he fully bent her to his will, but this moment is the only time he will be able to do as he wishes untill she's fully obedient.

He won't let anything keep him from his (y/n). Even death couldn't keep them apart. He's held himself back from ravaging her for long enough.

It had been ages since he last got to taste his wife so of course he had to begin with her soft pussy. Zeno started by slowly pushing up the expensive fabric until her warm heat was exposed to the cold air, sinking his tongue in as deeply as possible into her. She was every bit as delicious as he remembered her being and more.

Her soft little hole was so tight he knew she was completely untouched, just as it should be. He would be the only one ever allowed to stretch that small entrance, his cock would be the only thing ever allowed inside. He moaned ever so softly against her heat, savoring that mouth-watering taste with every slow lick.

Her breathing vaguely changed, becoming slightly more labored as he continued feasting on her sweet juices. She was just so damn good... He never knew he would be able to have his darling back in his arms like this. It seems some wishes really do come true.

He slowly eased two fingers into his love, tongue instead moving up so he could happily suck on her sensitive clit. A gasp came from her soft lips as she responded in her drugged state to the pleasure Zeno was giving her. He continued to work his fingers into her, stretching her tight walls in preparation.

Zeno knew she would wake soon, so he wanted to get all of the prep out of the way first. There was no doubt in his mind that his darling love would be afraid, confused, and likely hostile, so stretching her while she was still unconscious was the best move. He continued to lick up her sweet juices, knowing he would have to wait a while yet to taste them once his (y/n) awoke.

Her slight stirring and increased responses to the pleasure running through her veins told Zeno just how close his (y/n) was to waking. He slowly removed his fingers from her core and gave one last long lick over the entirety of her heat, then pulled back from her to allow her to wake slowly. Though he didn't want to wait for any amount of time longer to be able to feel her, he knew waking to such actions would leave a lasting and negative impact on her.

A soft hum escaped (y/n)'s lips as she began to stir, eyes slowly opening.

Fuck. She looked magnificent. Her confused expression as she tried to take in her surroundings almost make him chuckle, knowing that soon the other drugs he gave her would begin to affect her.

Her eyes widened as she became more alert, hand immediately on the collar around her neck. She sat up quickly, pulling at the collar before she realized she was also in such revealing clothes, choosing instead to cover herself with her hands. As she tried to find an answer for the strange way she has awoken, her eyes came to rest on Zeno. He had been watching her and gauging her reactions silently, coming up with the best way to tame her.

"Ma-master Zeno? What- what's going on? Why am I- why am I chained?"

"Because I want you to be."

"But... Did I do something wrong? I'm sorry, please forgive me!"

"You did nothing wrong, (y/n)."

"Then why..?"

"Because I don't want to let you fly away, my dove."

The fear was clear in her young (e/c) eyes as she stared at the elder assassin before her, hyperventilating slightly in terror. Zeno continued to watch his darling piece everything together- or at least, do the best her drug hazed mind could to piece things together.

He lifted a hand slowly towards her, frowning slightly when she flinched away from him, shaking as he gripped her chin and forced her to look at him. Her little heart-beat fluttered in her veins beneath his fingers, her skin slowly warming up as the secondary drugs began to kick in. A slight blush began to grow across her soft cheeks, her breathing slightly hitching from time to time.

"Pl-please... Let me go... I- I won't say anything, I swear..!"

"Not happening, my dove."

"Why-?"

"Because I finally have you back in my grasp. I'm not letting you slip away from me any time soon, so stop asking."

"..."

"Don't look so afraid, darling. I'll treat you as you should be treated; like a queen."

"But I don't want this!"

"... Don't raise your voice at me. I don't care if you want this or not. You are mine regardless of what you try to do. If I must break you in order to shape you into a willing wife, I will."

Though Zeno hated the fear in her eyes, he knew he was going to have to frighten her early on to make her submit more readily to him in days to come.

The aphrodisiac he had given her was doing a rather effective job in soothing her fear. Her eyes were becoming hazy and her entire body was heating up, suddenly feeling a pulsing need inside of her. Zeno noticed the change in her, sliding his hand down from her chin to her neck, watching her shiver in delight.

"M-Master..."

"Shh... Lay back, I'll take care of it for you."

(Y/n) lay back into the pillows, looking so vulnerable and sweet as she gazed up at Zeno, completely lost in the haze of pleasure and desire. He took a moment to savor everything, slowly untying the soft kimono and allowing it to slide open, no longer obstructing the beautiful body underneath. He quickly rid himself of his restrictive clothing, grinning slightly at the soft whine that came from her lips as he hitched her legs over his hips.

Hungrily pressing his lips against her own, he slowly slid into her tight pussy. His lips muffled her soft cries of discomfort as he settled within her, feeling that aching void in his chest closing up completely. It was as if it had never been there in the first place, as if he had never lost his darling lover or spent any amount of time without her. But he had spent years without her warm embrace. Years without her enchanting voice. Years spent completely alone.

Years of time he was going to have to make up for now that she was back in his arms where she belonged.

Pulling away from her lips, he slowly began to move is hips, exploring her warm insides once more. Still, soft whines and gasps came from his darling who lay beneath him, but he honestly couldn't make himself care at that moment. He was going to be selfish, just this once. He was going to enjoy everything she had to offer until he was satisfied, and not a moment before.

The way her tight walls clenched around him and responded to his deep thrusts made him growl in carnal desire. Her warm body twitched and writhed beneath him, her breathing hitching more and more as he went. Her gentle body spasmed and jerked as he angled his thrusts to press against her sensitive walls, grinning with each moan that he pulled from her throat.

He almost came undone when he felt her tighten suddenly around him, holding back for as long as possible as he continued to rut his hips against hers. After all, what kind of a man would he be if he took his own pleasure and denied his darling her pleasure?

It didn't take long for that growing pleasure to snap, flooding her body with euphoria and making her tighten up around Zeno's deeply seated cock. A deep snarl of pleasure took over Zeno's body as he gave a few more thrusts before releasing into his darling, blinded by the pleasure he had forgotten long ago.

As he took a moment to breathe and recollect himself, he realized that he wouldn't be able to lose his dear (y/n) a second time. And while his darling continued to drown in her pleasurable haze, he silently began to thrust into her once more, deciding she would never leave his side again.

~~~~~~~~

[tarajenkins]

And then there's the matter of the crap people have brought to my yard in the tags they put on my art and errant vagueposts, and my need to no longer smile and nod silently like the WoL. GANGWAY, IT’S THE DISK HORSE

When I was posting a lot of art with the Chais and Vauthry, it didn’t take me long to notice there was a distinct double standard at work in the tags of the reblogs. People who lovingly cooed over rat grandpa would tag my art--why they reblogged it in the first place, I wish I knew, I started blocking ones who did this--they would tag my art about how ew Vauthry is, how they were triggered by Vauthry, how they DEFINITELY WEREN'T REBLOGGING FOR VAUTHRY, etc. 

Even though there is a very good case Vauthry had no choice in his behavior at all, as perhaps the Ascians didn’t. Even though what he did do is a fraction of the atrocities the Ascians have done, the breaking point for these people was literally the lesser of two evils. Rat grandpa is afforded an amazing level of sympathetic theorycrafting, Vauthry is just dismissed as a “bloated parasite” (interesting choice of adjective to the person who made that comment). Despite all in-game evidence the Lightwarden corruption rat grandpa forced on him before he was born likely twisted both his body and mind. Despite all in-game evidence Ascians took full advantage of their newborn pawn.

When @kasunshine​ pointed out that vaguepost in the Vauthry tags aimed at me, I saw a second one by the same person--it seems to be gone now?--calling me a "Vauthry Stan" who had gall to talk shit about rat grandpa for what he did to an unborn child.

Why does it take a “stan” to find what was done to him monstrous? Oh--right. Because rat grandpa. I probably would’ve made it under the radar if Lahabrea had done it.

No matter how much people may say it’s because Vauthry did bad things (that was sort of the point of rat grandpa corrupting him), or that he had no character development (hi Zenos), the fact remains that somehow, fat jokes are the preferred method of mockery. 

Creating, liking, reblogging, not speaking out against (unless confronted), fat jokes. Fat jokes, imagine that. 

Fat jokes even got defended in this recent round of discussion, under the guise of "concern", of course--even though it’s been thoroughly documented that shit is bullying and helps no one but the bully to feel better about themselves. Imagine upskirting Dulia-Chai’s model and laughing at her body, because haha, fat people are fat, gross! Imagine laughing at Dulia-Chai for eating because haha, fat people eat, gross! I’ve even read so many comments elsewhere about how Vauthry is absolutely a sexual predator, although nothing in-game backs that up. Yet when rat grandpa practically brags about all the kids he's had with unwitting partners, there is only silence from the same people. Silence, or excuses.

But haha, fat people would totally be predators, amirite? They’re gross!

I've dealt with this attitude before when drawing big guys in other fandoms.  I’ve seen this phenomenon happen with them too. It’s always the same. Tumblr will gleefully reblog a fat woman for progressive brownie points (like my Dulia-Chai art), then will point and laugh and otherwise dehumanize fat men like kids on a playground (see disclaimers for EW VAUTHRY in the tags of the aforementioned Dulia-Chai art). If Vauthry had been a woman, or if rat grandpa had Vauthry's model, I am pretty sure most of this argument would not happen. In fact, if Vauthry’s model were reversed with rat grandpa, I would bet money people would all share my pain over the injustice of the Eulmore arc and all its poorly thought out shlock.

Square played the fat hate themselves, to the hilt.They used nothing but fat bodies in the trailer to represent the evils of Eulmore. Vauthry's introduction made sure to begin with a long, slooooooow pan from the stomach up. In German, Alphinaud straight-up called him a "fatass", apparently. Implications of cannibalism because we’re back in the Austin Powers days, I guess, even though meol made absolutely no sense if you bothered to do the math. But why bother to do the math? “Get in mah belly” haha fat people would totally eat people, amirite?

And finally, in the end, Square elevated the man who did this to Vauthry to a hero, because it seems they guessed correctly--not a lot of people would give a shit what was done to the fat guy, they’re too busy blaming the victim (and everyone else rat grandpa killed) because rat grandpa is just soooo tragic and

ah

"aesthetically pleasing". (Modding rat grandpa into bed for screenshots is just a coincidence, it’s all about his character.)

I've read long discourse on how rat grandpa is innocent of all things he's done because Tempering, though rat grandpa's dialogue sounded like the Ascians expected to be Tempered ("of course" Zodiark Tempered them, "it was only natural".) It would be tragic if it pans out the Ascians were puppets, but before they were, there was a choice made -- of free will and immortal wisdom -- to commit to this bloody course. I don’t really buy the bullshit rat grandpa was selling about looking for other ways to achieve their goal. If there was really a less tragic path and they could choose it, why didn’t they choose it in the first place? They’re immortal. They have all the time in the worlds to achieve their goal. Yet they went headlong into the murder of billions of sentient creatures. Made a game of it. Oh, the WoL was being tested? Why does the WoL need to pass a test, when if they disagreed with the Ascians’ methods, it was stated plainly that the Ascians would then kill them anyway? Why does anyone on the Shards need to pass a test for the right to exist? Yeah, yeah, “moral relativism”, I know. Cool motive, still murder, and by rat grandpa’s own admission they freely chose to become the thralls of a primal, apparently fully aware of the monstrous things they may do in Zodiark’s name. Of course, rat grandpa said he’d do it all even if he weren’t Tempered. Hm.  And I thought Raha was a shitty actor, lmao. BUT ASCIAN HUBRIS AND GENERAL JACKASSERY ASIDE

For all the mental gymnastics to excuse the Ascians of the deaths of entire worlds, the people I've countered about Vauthry go through comical, armchair-psychologist lengths to claim Vauthry was ABSOLUTELY aware and responsible for everything he'd done since rat grandpa corrupted him before he was born (corrupted him with Light, which the latest patch implied was very much like Tempering). 

There are no examples in-game of Light corruption leaving a person unscathed, mentally or physically. Not Pixie Kings, not even the Hydaelyn-blessed WoL. But these people will look at rat grandpa, sigh lovingly, and absolve him of all these atrocities because Tempering--then look at his creation, his Light-Tempered corrupted from birth creation, the twenty-foot-tall Hume with the bendy straw neck and a Lightwarden forced into his chest, the guy quite clearly mad, the guy who was never asked if he wanted this and who wasn’t even born when it was forced on him, and condemn him for acting as he was made and conditioned to act by rat grandpa and rat grandpa’s pal, Vauthry’s father, because obviously Vauthry is not affected by the corruption forced on him at all, no sir. Against every bit of evidence to the contrary, Vauthry was in total control of himself, and so is to blame for everything. Because reasons. He was fully aware of reality despite being brainwashed into a bubble of lies. That uncontrollable urge to violence that was going to make your WoL kill their own friends? Nah, wouldn’t affect that kid without Hydaelyn’s Blessing, what a leap of logic that would be! Certainly wasn't rat grandpa’s fault, nope! Vauthry would’ve become a Lightwarden without anyone’s help! The Ascians just accidentally corrupted an unborn child and then saw him groomed to a “desired end”. Happens all the time.  (Yoshi-P saying he would like us to consider if Vauthry was “really just a friend of the Sin Eaters, or was he being controlled by someone” was just a really oddly specific red herring. ) The folks I’ve countered definitely don’t give a thought to how frightened his mother looked while The Men (tm) discussed what to do with her body, either. Consent is only valid if convenient when it’s rat grandpa. (”Respects women” my fat ass.) And whatever happened to grooming children being fucking gross, Tumblr dot com? Because Vauthry was a child. Just because he didn’t grow up into your dating sim wet dream doesn’t mean what was done to him was remotely okay.

These people couldn't just relent neither one may have had control. There isn't a fraction of the Deeper Understanding spared to Vauthry that they seek to give rat grandpa for genocide.

They just have to make sure the fat guy they don’t want to, uh, take screenshots with gets what he "deserves".