#hey she can write a bit!
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Joker junior isn't the only kid in the joker's gang anymore.
Harley: This is your new babysitter I mean older brother, You know Mr.J and I can't just spend all our time with you Junior. Why don't you and Trixter get yourselves introduced while playing somewhere away from here, Kay bye!
Trixter(Danny): ...
JJ:...
Trixter(Danny): I like your nails they are pretty.
JJ: *growling and hissing*
...
Harley tugging the child leach with junior in it: it don't bite.
Danny: Yes it do!
#incorrect quotes#dpxdc#joker junior#Danny Trixter#Harley doesn't regret taking advantage of this weirdly pale teen for babysitting#and hey her old prototype outfit fit's him perfectly#if she takes him she can get more alone time with her pudding#new older son it is#pudding we can't take him back now look how attached jj is to him#Jj bitting Dannys arm and refusing to let go#writing fic#this is for that#i love Danny doing evil shit#Danny became an older jester brother#I like the concept of Danny laughing like an Hyena#feral tim drake#the electricity does that#good luck Danny Trixter
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HaSO: I know humans have a Reputation but I need you to listen to me anyways
autism and support systems in space
Takes place after this story
Guang had been communicating with the captain of the Papyrus to ensure that everything was within suitable parameters for Guang’s adopted human, Fern. It had been difficult because Papyrus' “human expert” had very different ideas about what “suitable for a human” meant, much to Guang’s frustration.
@/papyrus Humans’ hearing isn’t that sensitive. Could not the human stay in the hold? @/guang "the human" is a guest of your ship so no. And I assure you, Fern’s hearing is marvelous. It is equivalent to a udito. Test again with a device set to that sensitivity.
A read notification, but no response. Why did so many beings think they knew what Fern needed? Not all humans were the same. Papyrus’ staff would comply in the end, Guang knew. No matter how frustrated they were, they wouldn’t want to anger Guang’s partner.
And no matter how much time it took, Guang would ensure that the trip would be as comfortable as possible for Fern. They had been on ships with her before. However, without accommodations it, was painful for her.
Guang knew humanity had a reputation for adaptability and make-do, but human neurology was more vast that it had known. Through Fern, it learned that some human brains worked differently than others when it came to processing sensory input, demands, change, and information. Guang had not worked with many humans besides her, so it was surprised by the pushback it was receiving from beings who assumed humanity was a monolith.
They would never assume all space fae or centi were alike, so what was it about humans that spread such myths and made beings comfortable with such generalizations? Guang would later find out that humans themselves were not guiltless in this. Many of them enjoyed playing up their reputations as “space orcs," being known as unkillable endurance machines was not a bad thing for most.
#Guang is such a good space parent#Hei was not mentioned by name but xi is also a good parent#just a bit more aloof#and Fern is the best#Guang and Hei are decades older than her#so see her as a child#shes a grown ass adult though#but doesn’t mind their behavior#it means she can indulge in her special interests as much as she wants#humans are space oddities#HaSO#humans are space australians#humans are space orcs#humans are space fae#humans are weird#sci fi#sci fi writing#oc writing#disability in space#autism in space#disability#autism#guang#hei#fern#my writing
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"AU where Ivan is alive" this "Fic where Ivan and Till are saved by the Rebels" that..
Where are all the fics where Sua is alive/saved by the rebels with Mizi? ¿Dónde? ¿Dónde están??
#/hj.. kinda#I need more MiziSua fics so baddd#don't tell me I have to start writing them😭#because believe it or not I am a terrible writer#just saying.. I think this type of fic would be interesting..#like how would Sua react? Would she tell Mizi what she had planned to happen? Would it strain their relationship a little bit?#Pleaseeee I need more yuri pleaseee#I LOVE IvanTill but they have taken over the ao3 alnst tag#and most of the fics where Ivan lives Till ends up reciprocating his feelings#which hey not complaining I wish it was canon#BUT☝.. I read them and I'm like “..he would not fucking say that-”#So basically- if ya'll can believe Ivan can survive.. why not Sua?#“But she was shot in the hea-” Shhh. Sh. Shut.#Some reasoning: There's a lot of blood in the head so when you get injured there the wound looks worse than it actually is.. soooo-#could be possible🤷♂️#i am delusional#alien stage#alnst#sua alnst#alnst sua#sua alien stage#alien stage sua#toon talks
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i am handing in my b.a. thesis (on motherhood in gothic fiction) in a few short days and though i have been complaining about having to write it for six months straight, right now i am actually feeling bereft of future opportunities to write academic papers about my silly little interests. for instance right now i really want to research & write about dracula daily & genre & the impacts of the newsletter format on the narrative (the addition of a timeloop)
i think about format and the specifics of narration a lot when i'm writing my own little things and i loooove when the narration - not just the narrator, but the act of telling the story - is part of the narrative. love when the narration is diegetic! love an epistolary novel (like dracula!) for this reason. should read more of them
inventory by carmen maria machado (short story! read it immediately!) is a GREAT example of this. the format of the narration is so integral to the story. does more than elevate it imo, i would argue the story genuinely wouldn't work any other way
g*d. i'm gonna have to become a video essayist
#and yes i may do a something something literature masters degree at some point#but i think that's a fair bit into the future.#also there's like. 3 other bachelor's degrees i'm considering#gonna be like that guy that just kept going to uni n got like 16 degrees over the course of his life.#but also i wanna train as a carpenter. and be a firefighter. and work with queer youth. and work in publishing. and write books. and#take care of forests#and before i do any of this i should probably get some therapy for the mystery shenanigans in my brain#went to a therapist said hey i am reasonably sure i have some flavour of ad(h)d going on up here. thoughts please#and she was like. yeah maybe. but also get this. you could just be depressed girl#depression can mask as ad(h)d apparently#and i was like 🤨 john mulaney voice i didn't know he knew how to do THAT.#but yeah either way something is up in the ol' noggin that is NOT super conducive to the whole 27 degrees thing#FUCK 27 dresses!!! i want 27 DEGREES!!!!!!#and most of all of course#i want to be UNEMPLOYED FOREVER <333333
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a pet headcanon of mine is that after they're done with the sigil removal, emira expands her horizons and starts studying the psychological side of healing, pulling in some resources from the human realm and combining it with boiling isles methods (i imagine the field of psychology in the boiling isles, while existent, was often pushed aside as just a lesser branch of the healing coven back when belos was in charge. i do imagine there's often magic like the memory tweezers involved)
and i imagine she ends up focusing in on like, art therapy and self-expression, because she knows how important that can be, after having her individuality stifled so hard when she was young
#eliot posts#toh#the owl house#emira blight#canon gave us so little on her compared to her siblings and i feel A Need to expand on her because of that lol#also i like the idea that she does still enjoy illusion magic and focuses more on the artistic/creative side of it#she also gets into non-magical art at some point#<idk if that hc came from me or f1ddlyb1ts or if we both came up w it independently but it's included in one of their fics#and then i think she explores writing some and even a bit of music and bard magic#projecting my ''cannot stick to just one creative hobby'' here#raine mentors her because if amity can get lilith and edric can get eda then emira should get raine#also all of the blight kids have formed a good relationship with darius as their probably future stepdad#but emira especially vibes with him#like ''hey dad i'm going for manicures and bubble tea with your boyfriend. i'll be back by seven''#boiling isles bubble tea has eyeballs instead of tapioca‚ naturally
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I’d love a lil something for Vivian and #39 off the touch prompts list if it sparks your brain!!
OMG HEYYYYY!!!! thank you so much for this - and for letting me explore viv a bit more!!! her character was fun to come up with and i haven't really been able to dig deep into her thoughts and character yet and this gave me the PERFECT opportunity, so thank you so so much!!! i feel writing for me has been angsty recently and that's the direction we seemed to take with this here lol! BUT, we get a bit of ev blakely, whom i have been eyeing as of late for some writing and he plays the perfect part in comfort. it's been a few weeks where i had the first half of this in writing and couldn't figure out where i wanted to go with the second half - and HERE WE ARE!!! please enjoy!!!
ease the pain
(a/n): a lil look into vivian ratcliff and her emotions for long-time boyfriend james pennington across a war-torn sea. we get a bit of comfort in the form of ev blakely. prompt is: leaning into the other's side, which i absolutely LOVED and think worked really nicely here! viv, you deserve the most sweetheart, please accept the comfort blakely is trying to give you <3333 and enjoy your mashed potatoes too girl!!!
Vivian ran her fingers along the side of Silver Bullets, her calloused hands running over every bolt ever pumped into the sides of the B-17, careening over paint and brandished edges of metal that had been knocked back in place, mission after mission.
There was something comforting about the B-17, a maternal force none of them had out here, that carried them from mission to mission, always present. Always there.
Vivian stepped back and let her hands fall to her sides, hanging empty and broken. All the girls were back at barracks, Interrogation the shit show it normally was, cleaning up and readying for a night to forget. She was here. Staring at the B-17 in silence.
"Sergeant Ratcliff," Vivian turned quickly, glancing over her shoulder, and found Ev Blakely coming her way, removing his peak cap and smoothing a hand over his head, "some of the girls were beginning to wonder where you wandered off to." Vivian stared at him, as he came closer and then looked back at Silver Bullets, her eyes wandering up to the silver pant along the name on the nose and then sighed.
"Just came to take a look at her," Vivian said quickly, patting the side of the metal for a moment, before turning to him and crossing her arms, "needed a minute." He came to a slow stop in front of her, crossing his own arms and raising a brow slightly as he tilted his head. He nodded to her.
"You okay?"
Vivian had been a waist gunner for Ev Blakely back in their training days for a few months, before Captain Faulkner had started gathering a crew and requesting people, and she was transferred. But, she'd grown to enjoy his company and his thoughts, as well as what he had to say to his crew. She also enjoyed the fact that when she was spiraling, he was always there for her, even if he never cared to admit it himself.
"Fine," she said with a nod, shaking her head, before considering the look on his face, "what, what's that look for?" Blakely smiled at her and then glanced up at Silver Bullets, his face softening in the light before looking back at her.
"You were looking sentimental, wanted to make sure you were doing okay." he said, and then his face grew serious, "You heard from James?" Vivian grew quiet at his words and then glanced towards his eyes again.
"Not in a few weeks." she said softly, and then nodded, "It's fine though, he's fine. It's fine."
James Pennington had not written back in almost three weeks and nearly everyone seemed to know; even the men, who usually didn't get involved in any sort of discussion of lovers outside the realm of East Anglia.
But they all knew about Viv's Jimmy Pennington and Bessie's Tommy McKenzie.
Blakely watched her, and she knew, she knew from that look he was giving her that he didn't believe her for one second, but she swallowed that thought down.
"I survived another mission, I can't complain," she said quietly with a nod, "Jimmy'll get back to me when he does. He's fighting a whole other war across an ocean and a continent. I just….have to get out of my head. Gotta be grateful, too." Blakely continued to watch her as she spoke and she was sure she sounded half like a lunatic but she didn't care.
When Vivian had been sick as a dog a few weeks back, Blakely hung around at night and talked to her as best as he could through her coughing and vomiting. He'd seen her sweaty and half-dead after missions, distraught and in tears, drunk that one time off her ass when she couldn't deal with this stupid thing called war, bringing her to barracks and helping her settle in bed. Sometimes, she looked at him and swore in is eyes there was something there neither wanted to discuss, but she ignored it and took his friendship head-on more than anything.
"I'm fine, seriously," Vivian said, with a nod, convincing herself alongside Blakely, "everything's fine." She stared at him, "What?" Blakely smiled slightly and nodded.
"Let's get you some dinner, step away from Silver Bullets for a bit, she'll be here when you get back," he said softly and she felt the tension from her shoulders release a bit as he turned and wrapped an arm over her shoulder, "c'mon, there's barely a soul even in there. Plus, you need some food in your stomach before we even oughta consider drinks."
Vivian walked beside him slowly, a small laugh escaping from her lips as she leaned into his side a bit more as they walked, for once, trying to grasp onto something to stabilize herself more than anything. Because out here, when the mission was all said and done and you were alone with your thoughts and feelings, there was no one but yourself.
"What if he doesn't write back, Ev?" Vivian whispered quietly as his hand squeezed gently on her bicep, narrowly avoiding where part of her jacket had been burned from a bullet graze, "What if-"
"He's going to write back." Blakely said, stopping her spiral and glancing down at her as they continued moving forward, "You've told me in length about Jimmy and his writing and how he keeps up with it all. For you. He's going to write you back. It may be a war on, but guys don't forget that sorta stuff." Vivian swallowed the emotion in her throat and nodded against him.
"Ev?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks." Vivian said quietly, reaching up to wipe at her eyes which hard turned misty just at the thought of Jimmy somewhere out there in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with the Navy, on a submarine or aircraft carrier or wherever he was that he couldn't reveal.
She thought of his kind smile, those deep, brown eyes, his hugs, his touch. The last time they'd seen each other, and she'd held onto him for as long as possible before he'd had to go. How deeply and longingly he'd kissed her, whispering that he'd see her again and they'd be back on her daddy's ranch in no time. And she had believed him.
Now, with no letter, and no sign of life, she was spiraling.
They entered into the mess hall and found some of the cooks cleaning up, wiping down tables and turning up chairs. But, upon entering, Blakely let out a whistle and some of the cooks glanced over.
"You guys still serving?"
"Yes, sir." one of the cooks said, looking to Vivian, who stood quietly by his side, staring off at nothing in particular, "Two plates? I'll bring them over."
"Thank you." Blakely said as he led Vivian over to a table in the corner, pulling out a chair and helping her to settle into the wooden seat before sitting across from her. She sat there quietly for a moment, her body closed in on itself as she stared at the placemat in front of her, her mind spinning, her eyes struggling not to fill with tears.
"Hey, Viv," Blakely said, leaning forward and reaching across the table to put a hand on her shoulder, "you can talk to me, you know that? It wasn't long ago you were my left gunner and a part of my crew, remember that?" Vivian looked at him and nodded, sniffling briefly before leaning against the table, covering her mouth with her hands in an attempt to hold in her want to sob.
"I feel like I lost him, Ev," Vivian whispered quietly, her voice breaking as a tear snuck out her eye and trailed down her cheek, before she tried to gather herself together in some sense, "it's not like him. Not to write. I…." She shut her eyes and shook her head.
"It's stupid to even talk like that. When he…he could be alive, just….." Vivian shook her head, "I don't know this time." Blakely watched her with that familiar, calming presence that she had grown used to. He always had that extra care of keeping an eye out for her at the flying club or when they were at interrogation or even just around base at breakfast. He was always there, always a comfort. And right now, the only thing keeping her afloat.
"Here you are, sir," the cook said, coming over with their meal of turkey and mashed potatoes, with green beans, another cook behind him with coffee and water, placing down the plates, as Blakely leaned back and Vivian ran her hands down her face, "ma'am." The cooks nodded, with thanks and then disappeared as Vivian's stomach rumbled looking at the plate. But her heart ached and her head pounded and the tears in her vision hurt.
"There's nothing to ease that sort of thought and pain, Viv," Blakely whispered quietly, "but you can only do what you can for now. And taking care of yourself and eating are things that are possible. That's something you can do now." Vivian watched him as she wiped at her cheeks, and nodded.
Staring at the meal, she thought of that first date with James, back in Fort Collins, Colorado - out to Stewart's down the road, hot turkey, mashed potatoes, creamed corn, peas and carrots. Shakily, she lifted a forkful of turkey to her lips and ate it, before leaning back against the chair and biting back her bottom lip. She looked towards Blakely who was a mix of eating and worriedly watching her.
And in a split second of time, he was standing and coming around the table and pulling her into his arms, silent tears streaming down her cheeks. Just for a moment, to be held while she felt like her world was coming undone, was the only thing to ease the pain in her mind and heart.
#viv just needs....so many hugs#can definitely say her storyline is much darker and sadder....but she's got the silver bullets girls and all the guys#especially someone like ev blakely#and we can thank him for that#ALSO HEY!!!!#bit of an intro to viv's character!!!#hope yall enjoy! :D#vivian ratcliff#everett blakely#masters of the air#mota#mota writings#silver bullets#viv i am mentally hugging you sweet girl#you deserve only the best when this war is done :'(
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fire and the thud came on my spotify shuffle while me and my sister were listening to music this afternoon, and at the end of it she turns to me and goes “who was that? the lyrics sound like the kind of thing you’d write” and honestly i think it’s one of my favourite unintentional compliments i’ve ever received
#the fact that she’s been reading my writing since we were both kids and knows that side of me better than anyone too#idk it just made it really hit with that bit more weight#also something about it was weirdly validating#because like that whole album has such a special place in my heart#i have never heard anything that connects me so fundamentally with my creativity in the way humbug does#and so to have someone who knows nothing about am go ‘hey these lyrics remind me of the way your mind works’#when hearing those songs for the first time sometimes felt like someone had reached into my brain#was just#yeah#i don't even know actually#i'm not trying to claim i can write like alex btw#i'm not delusional lol#but i do hear echoes of myself and the way i connect with creativity so often in his writing#which is i think why i connect with it so much#even if i express that creativity differently#(and with less skill)#sorry i'm just rambling at this point#i feel like i'm not explaining this well at all but my brain is so foggy rn#so i'm going to shut up now and go back to my book#thanks/apologies to anyone who's read their way though this whole ramble#humbug#lulu posts
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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I imagine Mia seeing her student get every single piece of paper where Miles Edgeworth is, this guy with a terrible personality and dubious methods as she remembers, and then think to herself “I already knew you had bad taste, but i didn’t think it was this bad”
For the record, i do think she knew about Phoenix becoming a lawyer for the chance of seeing him again, but that doesn’t change the fact that she can’t understand this crush he has on the man
#Wrightworth#ace attorney#mia fey#Phoenix x Edgeworth#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#i mean cravats#really phoenix f cravats#for the record i do simp miles tho but i can admit my taste is a bit weird#and i mean phoenix has nice taste he did liked iris but is not like mia knows that#oh also i bet iris knew miles somewhat because phoenix told her stories and no matter how many times she didnt shut him up because his eyes#will shine while talking about it#unless it came to the present and his unanswered letters#now that i think about it maybe when that happened she would cheer him up with like ice cream#also maybe she once pointed out that 'hey he looks kinda nice in this picture' and then poenix had his first bi panic#like he was in love with her but that didn't erase his at the moment platonic crush on miles yk like the kind people has on celebrities#huh know i kinda wanna write that down
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happy ides of march! time to kill ceasar
#ides of march#julius caesar#history#im saying this to my history teacher in a few hours lmao#my ancient world history teacher is fun and cool and while shes a bit strict i gen dont see while ppl dislike her#she doesnt give tests and her work is easy#i have her for homeroom also#and tbf my homeroom is angelic compared to the neighboring classes homerooms#even so most of the time we're just quiet. when i need to plot something or if im writing fic or oc backstories#its in one of her classes or at lunch bc i finish her work so quickly#tales of a guy who has one(1) favorite teacher and its the one who asked “hey do you have preferred pronouns”#believe it or not my favorite teacher is the one that plays the communist anthem every time she says something against the us government#and my favorite classmate is the one that can sing the whole thing#i do pick favorites#anyways yeah happy ides of march im watching mean girls again today for the 30 bajillionth time#this is a scheduled post btw ru and yellow and tobi#im most likely asleep by the time this posts dont yell at me for being awake too late
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Reading Emily's saga from HTM to Necrosis (plus Instinct and finishing with Shades of Blue) to @bowersbubbles has been a very rewarding experience, getting real time feedback while I make her laugh, lose her shit, and cry while I swallow mucus by the mouthful since my nose has Issues.
Apologies to my much beloved roommate for having to vaguely hear me reading out loud into the 1 or even 2 AM.
#i really do care about Emily so much#she means the world to me and has helped me through the past couple of years#she's a little psychopath but she's MY little psychopath#i really can't wait for season 5 of stranger things so I can see how her story 'canonically' ends#but at the same time i'm terrified because it's more than likely that she might not get a happy ending#if henry dies i'm gonna be crying for both of them#but i created a scenario where she gets to live for thousands of years with people who love her#so i'll take it#and hey i'm the all powerful creation goddess who can do whatever I want#even if she has to die i'll write fics where she doesn't#aaaaand maybe some fics where she and henry win in the end#sorry i'm rly emotional rn finishing with shades of blue was a bad decision lol#i'm also a bit sick feeling since I absolutely swallowed a lot of mucus#also my right cheek is tingly for some reason#tl;dr emily ripley you will always be famous#fishgills speaks#fishgills ocs#beloved mutuals#stranger things oc#twilight oc
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on today's episode of 'acaica's background thoughts for the dess raises kris au': okay but lets be serious do dess and chara actually stay together in the end--
#drkau#chatter#i debate over this point SO OFTEN LOL#they are BACKGROUND characters. like medium at best.#dess (or asriel or both you can argue any way) is the catalyst for everything but at the end of the day this is a kids story#and noelle IS still going to be the main character#but. man. does desschara work it out#their dynamic will be by far one of the hardest ones to write it think#it is very messy and very complicated and neither of them make great choices#and ive been writing a test piece of them for a WHILE#which. was good to get a decent nail of their characters as they stand in this au#but introduced SO MUCH MORE MESS. bc chara is aroace and 100% has some trauma and fucked-up feelings around sex#but xe DOES have sex with dess. and its like. does xe fully consent to it? yes!#does dess check in to be sure hey you're down bc she knows chara is ace while she isnt? also yes!!!#by the books they do everything right its just. chara is very very very good at rationalizing things.#and xe is. not actually as okay with this as xe is trying to be. and in fact this is very unhealthy for xir#(and then theres this whole OTHER layer of dark worlds and prophecies and everything that leads to frisk being born)#and its like. man. Man. this is so much to juggle#just everything between desschara is jngdfg they are trying their bests but it really is not going that well#bc they meet at like. 19-20 i think and chara's had nobody at all and sorta keeps chasing being someone's most important person#and dess has never had someone who has understood her on a level like chara#who really truly gets what shes about as a person and how she operates in the world#and its just a perfect storm really. and they both have kids and dess did technically kidnap hers just a little bit#and she never tells that to chara. and she tries but she cannot stay in place with xir#and chara couldnt hate her bc. again. has never experienced unconditional love#or love at all really </3 so instead of ever having hard conversations xe will brush it all under the rug#and sorta just enable dess's worse impulses. even sometimes at the expense of their literal children#ITS MESSY YALL. AND LIKE.#at the end of the day we'll see lol maybe they work it out maybe they dont. i have no idea. ive gotta write the thing#and if dr chapters 3&4 come out that could complicate things even FURTHER--
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I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun
#sorry if anyone sees these im tired of using my personal discord servet to vent. i always spiral too much#anyways i have an idea for a good poem to write for class because of recent events#ughhhh idk i just wish i wasnt so annoying about asking if i can open ip to people#or if someone would just ask if i was okay. i mean actually id probably lie i am not actually good at being open.#but like hey idk it feels nice to feel like people genuinely want to know#ughhhhfhfhf i do this to myself sometimes JSHSJSKDJDJD#welp its just how life goes. i feel lonely all the time and i soldier on#surely helping the next person will make me feel better! nope. surely helping yhis next person will make me feel better! nope. surely-#tgats me. thats what i sound like#yeah idk it feels like everyone is going through something worse than me so itd be a moral failing on my part#to ask them if i could just like. feel bad. noticeably#not even talk about it just look down and out of it for a day#yknow i emailed one of my teachers asking permission to go by a new preferred name#this is at like. a massive very queer and trans art school.#and i asked him permission to do this#and i was joking with my friends about how pathetic i sounded in it#and one of them patted me on the head and said “there there buddy” like very jokingly#but i almost cried because thats the first time in so long someone has like. really tried to comfort me#or shown me much physical affection#my mom gives me hugs and stuff but thats always about her. i dont blame her shes got a lot of stuff going on#but idk its really selfish of me but i just wanna have people see me and feel bad for me and it be about my pain for a little while#ill get over it im just being a teenager but shit god fucking damnit#i just want a break from feeling like my world is falling apart#then getting some footing#then it falling apart again#okay i feel a bit better now better stop the complain train JDJDJSKSJD#hey why do i never hear that it rhymes and everything thays so good#damn i gotta use that more#welp weve reached our stop sorry if anyone ever read thjs. hope you have a nice day tho lol
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“Who did this to you?” For the Situations prompts!
this week on: Taz Continues to Not Actually Use the Exact Prompt Dialog in the Ficlet! Elain finally found a way to get Margim talking a little bit about her past! did not know what she signed up for.
Warning for mentioned past harm to a child (nothing spoken about in detail but it is very briefly discussed. comes with the territory of Margim's backstory)
To call the newest resident of Lhan Tarran ‘quiet’ would be an almost comical understatement.
No one knew much of anything about her, besides the fact that she had come from somewhere far to the south, and that a hard road had led her here. That much was clear from the numerous battle scars all over her. No one knows exactly where she’s from, or why exactly she looks… like that, but no one is particularly inclined to pry into her past much. She is strong and willing to help them with just about anything they could ask of her, the least they could do is offer a little privacy in return.
That isn’t to say none of them were curious, Elain most of all. She had taken a particular interest in this mysterious newcomer, and was determined to eventually learn of her past. Not by trying to force anything out of her of course, but she hoped to befriend Margim, and maybe then she would be willing to speak more openly about her past. And even if not, at least she’ll get another friend out of it, a victory either way as far as Elain was concerned.
But befriending her proved a much harder task than she expected it to be. Margim wasn’t exactly unfriendly, but she was very difficult to talk to, only ever giving short responses to questions and rarely asking them herself. It did not seem she was trying to be rude so much as she was just… very shy. Which Elain found quite strange, as she was clearly a battled-tested warrior. Anyone else with that many impressive scars would jump at an opportunity to boast of their exploits.
Not Margim, though. She rarely ever spoke unless spoken to.
But Elain had a plan to coax Margim out of her shell, and it seemed foolproof.
She offered to teach Margim the art of bone-carving, to pass the time on sunny afternoons when it was too hot to get any work done. She noticed Margim would always retreat beneath the shade of the trees during this time anyway, and it seemed like a good excuse to spend more time with her. Margim, who seemed to have a very hard time saying ‘no’ to anyone and didn’t have much to do around that time anyway, of course agreed to it. Elain hoped that after sitting in silence for hours working on their craft, Margim might finally get bored enough to be willing to engage in conversation.
She might have underestimated Margim’s patience, though. The first few days of this passed in almost complete silence, save for Elain’s attempts at striking up short-lived conversation and Margim occasionally asking a question or two about the task at hand. It was a little awkward, but Margim was at least consistently showing up to their meeting spot, so at least she seemed to enjoy her lessons? Hopefully? She is very hard to read.
But Elain is nothing if not determined, and Margim did make for a great listener at least. Slowly but surely she started to speak a little more openly.
Elain was recounting the tale of a fierce battle she had with one of the Dragon-Clan’s pet worms. It was truly the largest of their kind she had ever seen, and a victory she was most proud of. She still wore a necklace made from the worm’s teeth, and always jumped at the opportunity to tell of how they earned her that rugged scar on her leg.
“Oh, I got this one from a worm too.” Margim observed quietly, motioning to a shallow scar running along her shoulder that was mostly covered by her garment. “Or… was it the orc riding the worm…? It was a long time ago.” she shrugs without looking up from the small figurine she was working on.
“Oh! You fought both at once?” Elain asked excitedly, eager to finally hear something of Margim’s past.
Margim nodded “orcs don’t really like to fight fair.”
“Heh, I guess that’s the one benefit to living in Trum Dreng, we’re far enough from the mountains not to have many problems with orcs or goblins. I’ve never fought one myself, but I hear they can be quite fearsome.”
“If you’re lucky you’ll never have to. Their stench is almost as deadly as their blades.” Margim says dryly, the corner of her lips bearing the faintest hint of a smile. Elain chuckles, that’s the first joke she thinks she’s ever heard from Margim.
“What about that one?” she motions to the deep scar running over the bridge of Margim’s nose, almost from one cheek to the other “I’d imagine there’s quite a story behind that. What sort of foe was it?” her curiosity finally won out over courtesy.
Margim’s hands stopped and she looks away “oh, this one… this one did not come from a battle.” she nearly whispers, absentmindedly running her fingers over the ridges of it “It’s very old, from my childhood actually, though I guess you couldn’t tell on account of how poorly it’s healed.”
Elain’s brow furrows and her heart sinks “...Was it some sort of accident?” She isn’t sure if she should be asking more about it, but she did anyway without thinking, hoping it was merely a freak accident. The thought of someone intentionally- it’s too horrifying. Elain hopes it isn’t that, but she knows a scar left from a blade when she sees it.
“You might say that.” her eyes remained fixed somewhere far away from Elain “I accidentally looked at someone the wrong way I guess. This was the repercussion.” Her voice is flat and her face seemingly emotionless, but there’s a certain intentionality behind it, as if she is afraid to express anything else. “I… don’t remember much else about it.” her voice became ever so slightly unsteady.
“I’m- Margim I’m so sorry… I shouldn’t have asked, that’s-” she eventually stammered, equally horrified at the reason behind her scar, and shamed for making Margim tell her of it. She had been able to gather that Margim did not come from a good place, but she had no idea the extent of it. For someone to hurt a child like that…
“It’s fine. You didn’t know.” she assured, low voice once again carefully composed, but still unable to look at Elain. “But… can we please talk about something else?”
“Oh, of course” But the conversation quickly died after that, and they finished their work for the day mostly in silence.
She didn’t expect Margim to want to continue the bone-carving lessons after that. Elain felt as if she had stepped over a line in asking about her scars. While it might be a normal topic of conversation amongst warriors, it’s clear to her now why Margim never wished to engage in it before, and she fears she may have pushed her too far too quickly. While it was true she couldn’t have known, she still felt awful about it and wouldn’t blame Margim for wanting to avoid her after that.
Yet, much to her surprise, she found Margim waiting for her there in their usual spot the next day. She looked at Elain expectantly, she didn’t smile –she almost never did– but Elain did get the impression that she was happy to see her. At least, she did not seem unhappy to see her. Margim remained very hard to read, but she was there, and that must count for something right?
#ok some sections of this seem a bit rushed but hey! I finally got something done! yaay#and yea I'll admit I don't think this stuck to the prompt very well BUT it was just a prompt#I don't think I need to adhere to it too closely if it gave me other ideas y'know#lotro fic#Elain lotro#lotro oc#Margim#Taz's foray into writing#literally started this at 3am last night oops#er this morning#but now Margim has a canon hobby at least! she's a jeweler in game so this actually kinda makes sense#she can make little bone trinkets and jewellery :)
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#*beep* oh. hey. guess you're sleeping? maybe you're at work. or out with friends. i hope wherever you are it's good#or that it's getting better. i really do#i'm not good. but you knew that already. otherwise why would i be leaving this message?#sorry. i just need to talk for a bit i guess#cause it's like. every day i write a hundred posts and every day i delete most if not all of them#and i could not tell you why#this is my blog after all. my words and thoughts go here#but also. this is my third place. and i can't lose that#isn't that crazy? i can't lose the handful of notes from reblogging other people's posts#the idea that somehow i'm constructing myself in the cut and paste instead of doing something myself#and i do try to make posts of my own. but nothing's ever worth posting. i don't even let it rot in the drafts. it's just gone#and i try to think about what would stop me from doing this#which inevitably brought me here - what would i be doing if it were fifty years ago#and i think the answer is i'd be calling someone who used to care and blowing up their answering machine#and i think about old answering machines. the ones that need a tape to record the message#does dora just re-record over the tapes that harry fills?#does she trash them? i'm guessing she doesn't listen to them#i won't tell you what to do with this message. i'll spare you a call to action#it's not like a diary would fix this. i have a diary. i've been keeping one regularly for months now#i think i want to be perceived but i refuse to speak unless spoken to and i will not reach out on here unless i'm being a kindly anon#and when i talk irl it's all broken disjointed subjects without predicates#it takes such effort for me to talk that people stop asking me out of kindness. but there's still thoughts i haven't said#thoughts that don't need to be said. we don't *need* another person rambling on about whatever random fandom topic or half-assed scribbles#i tried making serious art and meta posts for like four years across different fandoms#it's all gone now. as is most of my poetry. lotta things i don't know or care to know#and i can't bring myself to do that again. esp if that's not why you're here. so like. it's easier just to remain quiet?#because. i know people *can* understand. but it takes effort#and i can't guarantee a return on investment. i don't know if the cost of teaching me how to talk again is worth it#god i want to infodump but that was beaten out of me. the need is still there but i can't. it hurts#idk. things are good and then things are bad and on the whole they're good and getting better
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sorry to ffxivlovepost always anyway Man the way the devs & game did so good in making an mc that is Basically a blank-slate for the players, and there's so many opportunities to make your oc However you like but. the game itself adds so much story and character to that blank-slate guy. amazing
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა ffxiv ໒꒱ *·˚#i think abt this a lot. and also a lot of other ffxiv stuff LMFAO#it's amazing ..... drk is a huge example of this i think#bcs it plays into the guilt and whatnot the wol feels and all that. spectacular#endwalker !!!!! shadowbringers!!! the way the game uses the concept of hope is just always so beautiful and fascinating to me#and yeah bunch of games may have like. mc you create & design but not always can you like. ehvejfhsjf idk how to explain LOL#it is 4 pm i woke up 2 hours ago but priorly woke at 7 am after havingn a rlly. weird sleep.#to which my twin told me 'i wont tell u what time it is' as we went to sleep so it def was Really late#bcs we were going thru re2 and she was also playing games on steam i've been telling her to play#(to which i got her fav characters right and knew fr how'd she'd like the game LMFAO. twins amiright.)#actually that is also smth so fascinating to me bcs. i always have had someone w me in my life. i am literally never alone.#to which what i'm getting at here is Wow... it's like having a sleepover every single day. and i was a kid always sad never to have#sleepovers bcs my parents were strict (they r cool tho!) but i was a kid who wanted to experience all the kid things#but i didn't rlly but that's fine :P i am a grateful person LOL anyway back on track back on black#ffxiv... the game that u are.....#it's the 1st game that rlly actually made me invested in the ocs of others and also make a fully fledged oc that wasn't just originally mine#but for a fandom or something. and also it got me back into writing and Into making poetry and prose so. yeah.#it's amazing how much. oc x canon ???? yeah. ffxiv is so Wow#like eveyrhhting w themis or graha and how u can AAGGGHHH shit w your oc . so many possibilities#and that character. those possibilities. are already in game but also expanded by the player and the fanbade and#idk it's so beautiful to me WHAGHSGDJDH. and yes me saying themis or graha up there is self-indukgent bcs#both of them are so Insane it's so. insane!!!!! i will never forget what happened in abyssos in particular that Broke me#and anabaseios... :)) i cried so much it is almost embarrassing. and wow. asphodelos. wverything w themis just. yeah#anyway graha... self-explanatory if u know..... idk he's the character of all time to me. simply said. but themis is crazy bcs going thru ab#yssos made me think for a bit 'hey themis might be my fav character in ffxiv now' but No but also Wow. wow#kinda cute bcs me and my twin have a thing where she has a certain type of chara she likes and me too#so sometimes. most times. all times. we have our own characters we like anyway but sometimes they overlap but either the case we kinda#lowkey 'segregate???' idk if that is a good word but we do that w our fav characters. so like emet is her fav elidibus is mine.#and that was all the way in arrr alr and we barely knew spoilers so that's kinda crazy! anyway
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