thegirlwholived1213

[wellnesgreen]

Looking to up your grain game? Look no further than our ultimate guide to healthy grains! Discover the healthiest grains, such as brown rice, quinoa, oats, barley, and farro, and learn how to incorporate them into your diet. Want to lose weight? We've covered you with the best grains for weight loss, like quinoa, oats, and buckwheat. And if you're wondering which grains to eat daily, choose highly nutritious options like oats and quinoa. We'll also tell you which grains to limit, like refined white flour and instant rice. Don't miss out on the health benefits of these superfood grains!

[gar-a-ash]

More important news, after four months of this goose stealing ALL of my duck eggs (buddy returned the pair she had originally taken from me) Quiet has finally managed to successfully incubate an egg. I'm not kidding, it's probably been about a hundred wasted eggs at this point. The female duck has also been broody and sitting on a nest so maybe there will be more soon!

[mstase]

DESCRIBING THE MOON SIGNS

some of these are based on the people I’ve met, so you may not resonate with some of it. there are also probably other aspects in your birth chart that say otherwise, so please read this with a grain of salt.

♨️ aries moon - such people have a subtle yet sharp look, often with a prominent feature like a wide forehead or a generally strong build. their fiery emotions are written all over their face, and you can spot their short fuse from a mile away. they’re not the type to bottle things up; it’s more like they need to let it out, erupting like a volcano. these folks are impulsive, prone to sudden outbursts, but surprisingly, they don’t hold onto grudges—they move on as fast as they flare up. they tend to have mood swings, being all emotional one minute and totally chill the next. there’s this childlike energy about them—they get hyped up easily and are full of passion. but just like kids, they can be pretty immature when it comes to handling their feelings. when they were young, they might have fought a lot due to their impatient nature and tendency to react quickly and get frustrated, but they eventually grow out of it. i know some aries moon peeps who get physical when they can’t calm down like throwing stuff, kicking around, or yelling and screaming to let out that frustration.

🍥 taurus moon - they’re really laid-back to be around, always giving off a calming vibe. picture doe eyes and soft, prominent cheek, kind of like a bambi. these individuals are typically grounded and don’t easily get irritated, but they know when to assert their boundaries. they prefer doing their own thing and steer clear of drama. however, they can be quite stubborn and once they’re fixated on something, it’s hard to sway them. emotions tend to linger with them for a long time because they manage them steadily and slowly. one thing about them: they despise being rushed. like typical taureans, they take their time with things and enjoy a slower pace. when they feel emotionally unsettled, they seek comfort, even if it’s not always the healthiest option, it helps them escape. they thrive in cozy, gentle environments, feeling most at ease when they’re at home. quite possessive people and can come across as controlling at times, especially with those they like; they tend to be fond of physical touch.

🗣️ gemini moon - they have really expressive eyes that light up when something catches their interest. always cracking jokes and endlessly curious, they’re a blast to be around. a bit scattered sometimes, but they’re great at keeping a conversation going. sharp as a tack, they might seem like a clown sometimes, but they’re actually deep thinkers. they are prone to mood swings; their minds are constantly buzzing with a million thoughts, which also impacts their mood. however, they don’t really express or dwell on these emotions much because their minds are wrapped up in their interests, which can make them come across as emotionally closed off. at other times, they tend to rationalize their emotions rather than genuinely feeling them. these people get extremely bored easily, constantly needing mental stimulation. hence, they have a need to always ask questions, to know everything and understand how things work, in order to keep their minds busy. they could be the type who has trouble sleeping because their minds won’t quiet down, and the same goes for their mouth.

🦀 cancer moon - very emotionally receptive, they can easily read and understand others just as much as they crave understanding for their own feelings. they feel things deeply and take it all to heart, often needing space to process. naturally nurturing, they care very deeply and want it to be acknowledged. they might be the one looking out for their siblings or the ’mom’ figure in their friend circle. when upset, they can be passive-aggressive, but most of the time, they keep their pain to themselves. their heightened sensitivity makes them get hurt more easily than others, which is why they sometimes come off as defensive. these people have a hard time moving on from the past and like to reminisce a lot. they remember every single thing, the good and the bad stuff people did to them, and when they’re not feeling right, they tend to hold onto grudges.

⚜️ leo moon - they are all about expressing themselves creatively, typically through singing and/or dancing. they are incredibly generous and always there for the people they cherish. however, i’ve noticed they can struggle with self-esteem, leading them to seek validation and acceptance. they have fragile egos and are extremely sensitive to criticism, often feeling challenged in their accomplishments or goals, even when that’s not the case. when they feel validated, they bring good vibes, filling up the room with warm, loving, and super enthusiastic energy—that’s just how they give back. they are prone to dramatic displays of emotions, often without realizing it, due to their naturally expressive and fierce nature. i’ve also noticed that they tend to talk a lot about themselves and may unintentionally interrupt or overlap in other people’s conversations. this can make them appear conceited, but they are just really eager to share a lot about themselves.

🔍 virgo moon - they’re super helpful, sometimes a bit too much, and very responsible. it’s like they think no one else is gonna sort stuff out, so they always step up as the “fixer” even when it’s not really their problem. they’re just really big on analyzing everything to get to the bottom of things. they can often seem all critical and constantly nitpicking, but really, it’s their way of helping you improve and showing they care. they notice every tiny detail, and if something’s off, it bugs them big time—total perfectionists. they’re pretty hard on themselves, likely due to early expectations and responsibilities weighing on them. they worry a ton, even about the small stuff, sometimes to an unhealthy level of obsession. they need a lot of alone time to process these thoughts, as they’re highly sensitive to their surroundings, which doesn’t quite help with their anxious tendencies. they can be self-conscious and prefer to keep their emotions in check, often analyzing their surroundings to gauge if it’s safe enough to express how they feel.

🧁 libra moon - these people are easy to hang out with—chill, laid-back, and down-to-earth. they prefer to keep things peaceful, so they can be somewhat passive and struggle to say no because they dislike upsetting people, which heavily impacts how they feel about themselves. confrontations aren’t their thing either, and setting boundaries isn’t their strong suit. they value fairness, detest any kind of injustice, and adhere to their morals. they’re open-minded, always looking at things from different angles, which makes people feel comfortable talking to them about anything. (they are also great listeners). they can be overly concerned about how they appear as they have a strong need to feel ”pretty” and liked. when decisions need to be made, they’re very indecisive and tend to let their friends choose for them. they dislike aggression and are put off by unnecessary meanness, as they themselves keep their less pleasant emotions in control without necessarily suppressing them. most people i’ve met with this have good facial harmony and are pleasing to look at.

🦂 scorpio moon - they might not seem like they’re paying attention, but believe me, they’re tuned in. you’ll be amazed by the random stuff they pick up just from quietly observing things and people. sometimes they don’t even have to actively watch; they just get it with one look, seeing through the facade because they operate similarly, like hiding behind that secretive and mysterious wall that they cling onto. they have zero tolerance for dishonesty, and the ones i’ve met with this are extremely blunt. nothing gets past them; they can sniff out lies or insincerity from a mile away. like all water signs, they’re super sensitive but get triggered easily. oh, and they can hold a grudge forever. they’ll remember what you did to them five years ago and still think you haven’t changed. they might seem chill on the outside, but inside, there’s a whirlwind of intense emotions that can erupt suddenly. they probably struggle with talking about their feelings and, with their secretive nature, you’ll never really know what’s going on with them.

🎃 sagittarius moon - adventurous folks who are always down for a good time, even if it gets them into trouble. they find optimism and humor in everything, so it’s pretty easy to lighten up their mood. they’re strong-willed and passionate about their feelings, not holding back when they speak their mind. sometimes they crack jokes at the wrong time or in a way that might offend—it’s just their impulsive nature. despite that, they’re incredibly cheerful and goofy, always ready to laugh and spread their enthusiastic energy. sometimes they can come off as ’know-it-alls’ without trying to be arrogant; they’re just super into their optimistic wisdom. many of them may have travelled a lot growing up or just liked to wander outside instead of staying indoors—the type who were always out exploring the city. they dislike uptight, dependent people; they need someone who can loosen up and loves freedom as much as they do. being tied down in any way is their worst nightmare, so good luck trying to control them.

💼 capricorn moon - these people can keep their cool even in tough situations. they’re not into big emotional displays and often come off as closed off or shy. it takes them a while to open up because they don’t think it’s necessary. although they are not unemotional; in fact, they care and love very deeply but are more private about it. they probably grew up in a household where showing emotions was restricted, or they had to grow up fast due to responsibilities. they might also have a hard time showing vulnerability and are super protective of themselves. they’re incredibly self-reliant and independent and sometimes feel guilty about asking for help. they give the best advice, but don’t count on it to cheer you up because they’re all about logic and practicality. sometimes, they keep their problems to themselves because they don’t like feeling like a burden to anyone, or they simply feel like no one cares.

🌀 aquarius moon - constantly feeling misunderstood, they feel like people talk more than they know. are humanitarian, but at the same time, they hate people. they are highly observant and can naturally grasp people’s minds and behaviors. they cherish their independence and personal space, which means they don’t do well with clingy people. consequently, they keep most people, including friends, at arm’s length. these people are pretty good at hiding their emotions. they aren’t likely to be very grand in expressing how they feel, which is why they can sometimes come across as detached. at times, they just process their emotions differently. i see them as being more rational and logical in their approach. also, they may find it challenging or uneasy to cope with deep feelings of vulnerability. very super accepting of people because they’ve been there themselves—being the odd one out. intelligent people can sometimes be very stubborn and think they are always right.

🐟 pisces moon - they are very empathetic and compassionate, making them great listeners. however, they often feel emotionally overwhelmed because they easily absorb other people’s pains and problems. sometimes, they struggle to understand and express their own emotions due to their impressionable nature. highly sensitive to their surroundings, they pick up on every subtle detail that others often miss, which can be overwhelming. they also find themselves easily drained in busy environments, constantly absorbing the emotions and energies around them. therefore, they require ample downtime in peaceful, quiet settings to recharge. they can feel like their needs get ignored and that they end up giving way more than they get back. one thing about them, though, is they tend to be very passive to the point where they can easily be taken advantage of, which is something they need to work on to build more assertion. the people i’ve met with this moon were exceptionally talented, whether in art, writing, or any other form of expression.

[silvers-not-home]

rewatching double life right now but through jimmys pov and just realized how violently ill rancher duo makes me /aff

like there's no way there's a duo THIS healthy in this series. the whole fucking point of the life series is betrayal and deception and blah blah blah all that jazz but rancher duo never did any of that. they always told eachother their plans, ideas, schemes, where they were going. and even if they didn't cough cough jimmy going into the deep dark cough cough he still came clean and told tango anyways. we have someone who's death is such a staple in the fandom/series that it's become a whole thing and someone who's death you go "oh yeahhh i forgot about that one, how'd he die again?"

they're both so ignored and the fact that they pay so much attention to eachother literally makes me sick to my stomach /hj /aff

like i don't know much about flower husbands but like. i know it probably wasn't.. the healthiest of any of the ships so take my words with a grain of sand here. jimmy was practically invisible to scott no hate love him to death but c!scott IS on my hit list and tango is just so blatantly ignored by the watchers and other members sometimes i literally forget he's there and when i do my autism shoots up like a firework.

jimmy is mocked in a /lh way but we're talking abt their c!versions so that might not be as lighthearted as you think c!jimmy sorry bud so much to the point no one takes him seriously and tango is so forgotten that no one takes him seriously. though they might not be taken seriously when they're together they're still known throughout the server. jimmy has what tango doesn't: patience and less impulsive thinking. and tango has what jimmy doesn't: rage and more tactical thinking.

while tango is going absolutely apeshit over the ranch burning down and everyone is basically taunting him, making him even more upset as if either of them need that jimmy is the one to hold tango back. he doesn't want him rushing in not because they share health and trying to keep himself safe desert duo im looking at you, you toxic bastards /aff but because he genuinely CARES about him. because when they go after scar and grian they want to be prepared and logical about their attacks. he'll still listen and follow through with tangos plan but not when they don't have one, he was so excited to bring the warden to grian and scar because he genuinely believed that they would get revenge the safe way (as safe as you can get anyways)

and when the plan backfired he didn't get mad or upset at tango. he helped him through it with the knowledge they could both die just by one small slip up but damnit if he's gonna take them out he's standing tall next to him.

they never got mad at eachother. not when the plans backfired or when jimmy died and lost all his stuff and had to travel across the whole server just to not get his stuff back or when jimmy went into the deep dark, putting them both in danger or when tango got them both killed in the FIRST EPISODE, activating his curse again (i know it wasn't technically jimmy that died but he still lost a life so i'm counting it anyways shut up)

because grian would've been pissed (talking about character versions still stick with me here) at scar if the roles were swapped, probably would've kept him at their base for the whole damn season actually. but jimmy listened to tango, obviously he was upset but never at tango. he just wanted to know what lead up to that and from that they made a plan.

the difference between team rancher and desert duo is when scars falling grian yells out for him, not because he cares about scars safety but because he cares about his safety.

meanwhile when tangos falling jimmy jumps after him while screaming his name, making sure that if he's going to die it's tangos name staining his tongue and without the selfish intent of keeping himself safe.

because when grain looks into scars eyes he only sees himself. meanwhile when jimmy looks into tangos eyes he sees tango looking back.

[fiddlededeejester]

i'm having more poolverine thoughts.

so this is how i imagine their relationship to go:

they get settled into living with each other, they get close, they're friends, yay !

then they start developing feelings for each other and things happen and then they're dating.

i don't think they'd start going around telling everyone immediately because it's kind of a fragile situation with how they both are, yk what i mean? i could probably explain this more but i'm not going to at this second.

it starts out a little toxic/dysfunctional. they are not doing well and will not react to things well based on their respective relationship traumas, and trauma in general. i see Wade as very clingy and has abandonment issues, while Logan fucking runs whenever anything happens. if he thinks there's a situation where he could hurt Wade, he's removing himself from it immediately. Wade is going to start losing his mind at this because 1. he's not that fragile, he can handle himself. and 2. he's going to start feeling rejected. AND MAYBEEE it's me projecting but we know how ADHD and RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) go hand in hand. and he's gonna worry that he did something wrong to make Logan distance himself.

they both place a lot of fault on themselves, and it's going to fuck them up. they're also absolutely shit at communication until it builds up and explodes.

so: it explodes.

it's not fun, it's not the healthiest way to get from point A to point B, but basically a lot of things get cleared up in this Explosion (fight maybe? idk what would happen necessarily. but explosion.) they understand the motives behind each other's actions and realize they need to get their shit together. and they reassure each other a lot afterwards and feel better about things.

so they work on it! because they've lost too fucking much for this to fall through. they're stuck to each other forever now, they're going to make it last even if it kills them permanently.

it doesn't happen overnight ofc but yeah, they get better at communicating and not being overly reactive. they're both messes but they can be messes together <3

they have a healthy relationship! yayyyy !! other people might not see it the same way though because they're fucking insane and they show their affection in weird ways.

and yeah my last post on the duality of man applies here. they can be so soft and cozy and gentle, and then beat the shit out of each other when they need to expel some energy. also. other things. but anywayyy

bc Logan, from what i understand, is really kind with his partners, but also Wade is. Like That. and also can't get hurt in a way that matters, so while Logan doesn't necessarily enjoy hurting people, he knows that Wade spurs him on on purpose, and even likes it, so he doesn't worry about it too much. they know they love each other and nothing they do is out of malice, and that's all that matters.

but yeah take all my words with a grain of salt, i haven't seen all the x-men movies and don't have as good of a grasp on Logan's character as i'd like to, so this might be off, but it's how they are in my head, so !!!

(OH THEY'D ALSO MOVE OUT AND GET THEIR OWN PLACE BC YOU KNOW THEY FUCK LOUD AS HELL AND BLIND AL IS SO SICK AND TIRED OF THEM)

[prettieinpink]

do you have a diet guideline and exercise routine? i'm having trouble figuring out what exactly i should be eating aside from people's vague "fiber and vegetables or whatever". And finding an exercise routine that works and i can actually make myself stick with and keep myself motivated with. Any tips/advice? thanks!

CREATING DIET & EXERCISE GUIDELINES

CREATING YOUR DIET

Determine how many calories you need daily. Your daily caloric intake depends on your age, sex, weight, height, and activity level. Some online calculators can help you with like this. However, if you’re calculating it, make sure to consider your activity levels.

Then, determine how much of what nutrients you need. If you’re lacking in one, you may want to increase the intake of that nutrient. Or, if you think you eat too much of it, you may decrease this. 

The best way to find out what nutrients you need is by a calculator. However, the best form of action is to ask your GP what they advise you. Here are the formulas;

Calculate your protein intake 10-30% of total calories (for adults)

Amount of fats - 20-35% of total calories (for adults)

Consumption of carbohydrates 45-65% of total calories

Recommended water intake 1 kcal = 1 mL

Number of grams of fibre Fiber = (kcal/1000) × 14

Limit processed foods, sodium, sugars and saturated fats as much as you can. While it is okay to eat them in moderation, they shouldn’t be a part of your daily diet.

To create healthy meals that are suited to you, consider your daily lifestyle and what times you feel hungry the most. While I cannot speak for your needs, this is typically what your meals should look like.

BREAKFAST - Breakfast should not be anything processed or fatty. It is the meal you break your 8-hour fast with, and it is the energy you use for the rest of the day. 

The most ideal breakfast is one that is protein-rich, as it can help you be more productive throughout the day. 

LUNCH - A lean, light but colourful meal is best suited for lunch. This shouldn’t be too filling, but enough so it can sustain your hunger until dinner. 

Lunch should be a meal that has lots of veggies or fruits that can energise you as well. 

DINNER - I don’t want to sound forceful, but dinner should be your healthiest meal. This is the energy that your body uses to recover and heal from the day you’ve just had. 

It should be balanced with complex carbs, vegetables and proteins. However, for dinner, it is advised that you either eat early or eat small. 

SNACKS - Light snacks that are filling. Avoid snacks in which you mindlessly eat them, those are the type of snacks which are most likely not good for you and you’ll end up overeating. Fruits are the best choice here. 

This is a diagram I use often to measure how much food I need to eat without weighing them or counting calories. To be precise;

Vegetables or/and fruit should be ½ of your plate

Proteins should be ¼ of your plate

Grains/Carbs should be ¼ of your plate. 

Adjust this to your liking, but I thought it would help you. 

CREATING YOUR EXERCISE GUIDELINES

This is a process that does not happen overnight, even if you want to start running kilometres a day if you’re living a sedentary life currently, that is not possible. 

Start by finding small intervals in your day to exercise, experimenting around and documenting how each one makes you feel. For now, just try to figure out what you like and form the consistency, 

Then, once you get the hang of exercising regularly, you get to make your own rules. For example, your rest days, how many minutes or hours, what you do that day etc. 

Exercise is just another way to fuel your body, and you only know your body and what feels good for it. So I cannot provide any further advice than this. Make sure to start slowly though. 

[allwormdiet]

Interlude 2

Ahh, it's time for Brockton Bay's healthiest family to debut

Flight is so cool. Flight without having to get cold or wet or getting pelted by bugs is outright unfair.

Me, utterly charmed: oh my god she's a fucking NERD

And she's a nerd who's scaring the piss out of Nazis, who would hate this girl?

Which, oh yeah, the Nazis run around in Brockton Bay, bet those guys will never sour my mood

Glory Girl's got a whole bunch of powers, huh. Can't wait to get into the exact circumstances of how she got really cool abilities as an inadequate consolation prize for whatever hell she had to endure

I'm gonna be real, the description of this throw made me flinch a little bit. Like he's a Nazi so fuck him, but I hope it doesn't turn out that Victoria is this blase about all her targets

...So if the only spines she ever breaks are Nazi spines, then I'll give Glory Girl every pass she ever asks for, but if she ever wraps a weed dealer's skeleton around a lamppost I'm going to feel a liiiiiittle more concerned.

Everything else aside, this is fucking hilarious

So these two are at the epicenter of, as far as I can tell, one of the most divisive subjects in this fandom? With the others mostly seeming to be variations on "did such-and-such character have full moral justification to do actual for-real crimes against humanity." Let's see where this takes us

I feel a little bad immediately for the contrasts between Vicky and Amy. Five bucks says it's gonna turn out Amy is like the only brunette in the whole family, and while everyone else gets to show off a little she's dressed in a sackcloth. It's very white mage, but I don't know if she even knows what a white mage is.

Also it's a minor detail in the grand scheme of things but I fear for her hair's health if it's actively being described as frizzy

So apparently between ragdolling a Nazi like it's Garrys Mod and this passage, people have chosen to interpret Victoria Dallon as a monster. I can see how they'd be mistaken on this because technically speaking they're close: she's a teenager. For a lot of people the worst version of ourselves is one that exists somewhere between the ages of twelve and twenty, don't ask me how I know that one. The guilt trip here is definitely manipulative, but so is every kid who's trying to play whatever card they have to dodge repercussions for their fuckups. This is a kid, not a master manipulator who twists hearts around in her fingers like rings. This is normal behavior within an abnormal context.

According to Wikipedia, "foreshadowing is a narrative device in which a storyteller gives an advance hint of what is to come later in the story. Foreshadowing often appears at the beginning of a story, and it helps develop or subvert the audience's expectations about upcoming events."

Fuck Nazis, and I'm gonna get in a preemptive "fuck Coil" while I'm at it

Hmm. So here we get the Docks from a third perspective (albeit a Nazi's, so let's take it with a grain of salt), and this time it's presented as something of material value. I wonder how much of that is due to the neighborhood being low-priority for the police and Protectorate, if they decided it's not worth policing if it's not going to recover any time soon.

It's also interesting seeing which names are being thrown around with the possibility of fighting over the territory. I know Squealer ends up part of the Merchants and they end up being a decent power in their own right, but I don't know if any of the others would have shown an interest in fighting for territory. I got the impression that Uber and Leet are more like unfunny and violent pranksters than anything, Circus apparently operates on their own which doesn't seem like how you'd make dreams of conquest come true, the Undersiders are sticking with the theft shtick at this point, and I don't know shit about Trainwreck or Stain. Wonder how much of this is legit speculation, how much of it is the E88 leadership blowing smoke for their followers, and how much of it is this specific guy blowing smoke.

Yeah, see, they're good kids. For now.

Current Thoughts

To pull back on the frame a little, I think this interlude was written with two goals: first and most obvious is to get us in the head of another young cape, a for-real hero this time, who will be featuring in future events to some extend, but then beyond that it's reflecting the rippling consequences of Taylor's actions. Taking down Lung was a good deed, it saved lives and weakened a major gang within the city, but now others are rushing in to take advantage of this and it could cause more harm than was prevented in Arc 1. Taylor couldn't have known these repercussions were coming, she's a high school sophomore who'd only engaged with the cape community in any way after she'd already knocked the bastard over, and she probably still would have made the play to take Lung down and save the Undersiders even knowing that there might be increased gang violence. She's big on action and she's big on pushing through to solve the problem, repercussions dealt with later, but I suspect that everything is going to ripple out in this same way until the whole city starts shaking with it.

Anyway, more to the first point, I like Victoria, she took very little time to endear herself to me and I'm not going to feel so awful about her bone-breaking habits as long as she keeps it to the Nazis

I haven't seen enough of Amy to have a full read on her yet, and I haven't gotten into her head to know how she thinks or feels, but for now I'm pretty solidly on sympathy/pity for her. I'd say something like "we'll see where she takes it from here" but I kinda already know that one

Hoo, boy. Arc 2 done with. 18 chapters in four days? That's not bad. I'm gonna stretch my legs and think for a bit and then I'll give my two cents on the whole of Insinuation.

[murdrdocs]

I rly hate the effort to erase Tashi from the group like everyone trying to say Tashi didn’t love either of them or that she ruined the boys relationship blah blah blah she DID love them she just loved tennis more but you could clearly see her moments of humanity and her battling that idea. I don’t think her not telling Art she loved him was meant to tell us that she rly doesn’t

i agree w u 100%. i think challengers is constantly misunderstood by the audience in general but the attempt to erase tashi from the throuple (bc thats what it is) just feels so shallow. i hate it smmm and i talk abt it a lot w my bsf. bc each of them are integral to eos lives, that is established throughout the entire story and rlly amplified at the end. also i think they each love each other, even if some of them try to hide it (art w patrick) and some of them dont show it traditionally (tashi w art and patrick). weirdly enough, i think patrick is the only one throughout the entire film that shows how much he loves the donaldsons. he has the healthiest (said w a grain of salt bc ,,, hes as much of an asshole as the rest of them) form of communication that we as the audience see clear as day. anyway back to the point, tashi 100% loves both of them even though tennis is her focus. but god forbid a woman loves her dream job a little more than two white men.

[heinzpilsner]

Hmm, while there is a grain of truth in the popular zutarian take on "Southern Raiders" ("Aang is preachy and Zuko cares for Katara's feelings"), reading this episode as an evidence that Zuko is a right partner for Katara still doesn't sit quite well with me (and I'm a zutara trash, mind you!)

The problem with this ep in general is what it mixes too many complex topics together, and it becomes difficult to entangle the mess.

Basically, Aang was wrong talking in terms of "revenge" and "forgiveness" and "Jet" and "Appa" instead of "Katara's mental health", but he was right in his general concern. Hatred is not some precious right a person needs to hold on. It's a destructive feeling which is better to manage adequately for the sake of a person's own well-being.

But wait, someone may ask, isn't that exactly what Zuko was offering? To help Katara manage her hatred?

Well, yes and no. Yes, he was trying. No, this wasn't a good way to achieve it.

What many people don't seem to understand is that you don't need to confront the actual physical person you hate to deal with your hatred. Quite the opposite, actually. It's the person's imprint within your psyche what keeps destroying you from inside, and facing the person himself doesn't dissipate this imprint magically. It will only make things worse (*the only exception is when the both sides are genuinely interested in fixing things between them). You need to work with the imprint, and it's much easier to achieve when an object of your hatred is physically distant. No matter what kind of person you are, or what your moral/religious beliefs are, this is universal.

(It's a complex psychological topic I'm not really an expert on, so I'm not gonna go into much detail here. I'll just say what therapists have their ways to work with it).

I suspect Aang intuitively realized the problem, but with him being a 12-year-old monk and not having the needed skills or categorical apparatus, "forgiveness" was the best approximation to a right solution he could think of (I have no way of proving it though, so take it with a grain of salt as well as this whole post in general, lol).

While some idealization (and a lot of preaching) on Aang's part may have taken place, he saw "Katara's inner darkness" for what it was - a self-destructive tendency. She may think confronting Yon Rha is what she needs (although before Zuko introduced the idea, she didn't even think of the possibility), but it wouldn't be good for her. Sometimes, your loved ones are not right. Sometimes, they're about to hurt themselves. And it's not disrespectful to try and dissuade them from this (You'd think post-redemption Zuko of all people would agree with the sentiment).

Now, Zuko. While it's not his fault by any means I'm looking at you royal family, the way he dealt with the problem wasn't exactly the healthiest (or most selfless, as some people insist). He meant well, but offered a wrong method, and held on this specific method because it was something he personally could help Katara with. "It's the same as doing nothing!" - these are the words that kinda gave him away. I suspect it's not Katara's revenge or justice he was so passionate about, but his own chance of action. He was desperate for it. He didn't even stop to listen to her brother's and best friend's perspective, because it was interfering with his opportunity to be helpful, to be on the same side as Katara. In general, when your partner is too eager to side with you against your loving family, it's not a good sign, even when the family isn't perfect. (Well, okay, Aang's spectacularly poor choice of words had something to do with it as well. And where were you, Sokka-with-the-beard, when you were most needed?)

No one really offered a better practical solution to Katara's problem than Zuko though, that's the sad truth. And to be fair, after Katara had agreed to his plan enthusiastically, where was no better option for him than to go with it, I guess.

But... The bar was so low that offering nothing in the first place would be a better solution than this, honestly. Because no matter what the actual script of the episode says, I don't think this "life-changing field trip" would realistically do much good for Katara and result in her forgiveness. I think it would only hurt her more and would add to her list of irrational reasons to hate Zuko.

It may hurt, but as Katara herself made clear, there was nothing Zuko really could do at this point to help her or earn her forgiveness. It was something out of his control. He had to accept this and keep trying to do the right thing, simple as that.

I'm still a zutara trash, but not thanks to their interaction in this episode, I have to conclude.

(I guess what I'm really saying is that all those kids just need their therapy, lol)

Still typing on my phone and ignoring tumblr notifications. I wonder If anyone reads this at all lol

[lewkwoodnco]

get him BACK! - Lockwood x Reader

A/N: The idea for this fic has been living rent-free in my head for WEEKS and I finally decided to write it all out hahah I wanted to try a new style of writing, something more lighthearted and not so serious/depressing so here's a fun lil fic based off get him back! by olivia rodrigo! couldn't decide which gif to put so I put BOTH lolll ofc I made some modifications to better fit Lockwood and there are some parts where their relationship isn't the healthiest butttt it's a work of fiction soo take with a grain of salt! Tyyy to @karensirkobabes for giving me the push I needed to get this written down <3 enemies to lovers, reader is a Fittes agent similar to the I can see you fic (not exactly the same set up but quite similar so think parallel universe?) HAVE FUN, 5.4k

Enough was enough. She picked up the golf club and stomped out.

“Y/N. Y/N! Where are you - hey!”

She pulled her arm back, and now she was bringing it smashing down, probably inefficiently so, but she didn’t care. She punctuated Lockwood’s yells with shattering glass and screams of her own, wreaking havoc on his car like a woman scorned. She was a woman scorned. How dare he be so irritating yet so fucking irresistible all in the same breath?

She had met him shortly after she came back from a much needed summer vacation, ready to dive into a case that ended up lasting nearly 7 months. They had been assigned to the case around the tail-end of August, but for some odd reason Barnes had been keen on briefing them individually. Perhaps it had something to do with how both of them had hounded him after their frosty first encounter. She had tried her best to be open-minded, but she couldn’t help how her face twisted over having to work with this pompous prick, convinced that he was God’s gift to them all. That was enough to incite some snarky, underhanded comment and she retaliated, and they went back and forth until they realised Barnes was gone.

In hindsight, maybe it was their extreme hounding of him as they begged to be assigned elsewhere that made him decide to never be in the same room as both of them.

"She's uptight, narrow-minded, contemptuous -"

"I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I-"

"- bossy, irritating, ill-tempered, and did I mention uptight?"

"- I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him I-"

"Enough!" Barnes could only walk so fast and they could walk faster. "The rest of the teams are already stretched thin over this spiked string of hauntings across the country. So if you want to keep your job, and if you want the commission I know you so desperately need, I suggest you find a way to put aside your differences."

So she couldn’t avoid him forever, though she tried her best. He just had to have an opinion over everything that came out of her mouth and that opinion always had to contradict hers.

“I think we should split up into the different rooms.”

“Hmm. I think it’s best we all stay in the dining hall.”

“But the Sources could be in the rooms too.”

“But it’s unlikely, since most of the guests were killed during a dinner party held…where was it? Oh yes, the dining hall.”

“All the cutlery from that party is in the kitchen, the tablecloths in the linen cupboard, the chairs in -“

“Because cutlery, tablecloths and chairs are known for being prime Sources. Infamous, really.”

She hated how mocking his eyes were. She was a leader of strong character with resolute faith in her instincts, so damn did it sting to cave.

“Fine. Shaw, you’ll set up the chains -"

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lucy’ll do it.”

“Why?”

“She’s the best Listener in all of London; she’ll know the best place to set them up.”

“Fine. We’ll meet in the dining hall at 5 pm-”

“Hang on - what about the groups?”

She mouthed wordlessly at him. “Wha - we just decided that we’ll all be in the same room! What groups?”

“To look for the Sources in the linen closets, the kitchen, the -“

“I thought we just decided that those trinkets were too menial.”

“Oh, well, we can never be a hundred percent sure, can’t we? A good agent is thorough, you know.”

She blinked, her eyes sliding over the rest of her team’s as she wordlessly mouthed retorts which were too stunned to form. She tugged at her hair, dreaming of yanking it from her scalp strand by strand.

“Fine. Fine. Fine.” She slammed her journal on the desk, treating the pages with less care than she ought to be. “Shaw and Karim, you’ll take the parlour. Lockwood and Vernon, you’ll take the master bedroom. Carlyle and -“

“Vernon? Hasn’t he been sick, like, three times this week?”

“I’LL do the master bedroom with you, Lockwood. Anything wrong with that? Hm? Anything to nitpick or whine or complain about?”

He leaned back in his chair, his smile a little too lazy for her liking. “Trying to get me into a bed? We’ve only just met.”

She had to physically restrain herself from screaming at him. That wasn't any different from the kind of digs they took at each other in private, so why was her face beginning to heat up?

"What can I say?" She spoke through gritted teeth. "You bring out the absolute worst in me."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thankfully, by the time they were stationed in their different rooms, most of the fight had bled out of the two of them, and they were the closest they have ever been to amicable, or even civil. Lockwood insisted that he was better at handling a rapier than her so they decided that he would keep the visitor back, should it make an appearance, as she searched the room.

A visitor did show up, screaming something awful at the two of them. She was spiralling in despair as she tore apart drawers and boxes, coming up empty. Then, in a sudden wave of inspiration, she realised that they hadn't considered looking under the floorboards. There had been a loose one in the corner of the room, but the only problem was that the visitor was floating mere inches above the floorboard.

Lockwood, with all his proclaimed prowess, seemed quite evenly matched with the visitor, and he looked far too pale to comprehend a new plan. She squeezed her eyes shut and launched herself to the floorboard, hoping that the surprise would be enough to give the visitor pause. There was an anguished yell mixed with aggressive taunts from Lockwood, and she could make out the hiss of a flare as her fingers scrabbled for the Source: a pen. She flung it into her net and the visitor disappeared, leaving behind Lockwood sprawled on the floor, having been backed into a corner.

She numbly put the chains away and shouldered their bag of supplies, starting the trek downstairs while Lockwood caught his breath and struggled with something. She hadn't missed the outrage in his eyes and the way his jaw was ticking something furious, and prepared for the worst.

"What the hell was that? That wasn't the plan!"

"Oh, but you provoking the visitor was?"

"I was drawing it out! You were inches away from being ghost-touched."

"I was not."

"Were too!"

"Ugh, you're such a child!"

"You know, none of this would be happening if you didn't suck at finding Sources."

"Like you would have been any better."

"Actually, yes, I would have."

"Fine!" She turned and threw the bag at him, relishing the way it (momentarily) knocked the wind out of him. "You look for the rest, and God help you if you don't find them all."

Fortunately or unfortunately, her threat never saw the light of day as the rest of them had managed to find the other Sources with not nearly as much fuss as them. Everyone was too tired to talk much on the way back to DEPRAC. She began drafting their report while Lockwood helped Lucy limp along to one of the nurses. She signed the report, not looking up as Lockwood approached.

"Come to yell at me some more?"

"Ha-ha." But it was wooden and deflated. She glanced at his exhausted face and decided it wasn't worth it. "I was just...taken aback, is all. I didn't mean to -"

"It's fine. I wouldn't have lasted this long if I crumbled every time someone got mad at me."

The corner of his mouth quirked upwards and she felt this absurd sense of accomplishment.

"Still, let me make it up to you. Let's all go for dinner. My treat."

"Oh." She felt her face warm as she clumsily tried to remind herself how awful he was and how terrible having dinner with him sounded. "It's no need, really -"

"We'll be at this for a while, if tonight was any indication, so we might as well keep our spirits high."

"But-"

"I'll get George to start flagging down some cabs." With that, he briskly turned away, case report in hand, while she stared at him like a goldfish. So he was a prick on and off the job. Who did he think he was, ordering her around like that. Part of her wanted to refuse to come along out of spite, but she was starving, so she settled for a silent internal rebellion.

As much as she hated to admit it, the food was good and her team members seemed to be having the most fun they've had in months, if their noise was any indication. George and Ned were locked in some intense argument about their research on the house and Lucy was desperately trying to get them to shut up, in between a conversation about cheese rolling. She was getting lightheaded from laughing over Lucy's unusual fascination and George being George ("Shaw, say one more thing about my page holder and I'll come over there and fuck you up.") when Lockwood turned to her, half-yelling into her ear, and she nearly choked on her drink. Her weird sense of humour was usually perceived as non-existent, but Lockwood somehow managed to come up with the most out-of-pocket statements that made her sides ache. But she still hated his guts, of course.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And so began their convoluted relationship. Sure, they were both prone to the extremes, but in an oddly balanced kind of way. They would butt heads and swear at each other copiously during cases and then tiredly patch up (mostly) over dinner. She had started to grow fond of their team dinners, but only because of the camraderie and fostered and not because it meant having the thigh of a certain someone with excessively long legs pressing into hers in their cramped corner of the booth. That was just an unfortunate by-product that she, er, suffered through. That, and the wrestling with Lockwood over the bill ("How are you affording any of this? Aren't you at the edge of bankruptcy??"). Their relationship was complicated enough before his string of small gifts began.

Lockwood walked into the agent lounge where she was examining the file of their mission that night, and her eyes barely flickered in acknowledgement. The case was excruciatingly demanding to the point where they spent less time apart than together. He tossed a small bag on her papers before being accosted by one of her team members. By the time he was done, the lounge had cleared out and she had unwrapped the package. Her eyebrow twitched.

"What's this?"

"Oh, I thought someone might have told you by now. This here is a nifty little device called a watch, and -"

"Hardy har har. You're hilarious. I meant, why are you giving this to me?"

"Oh. Didn't your watch get smashed a few nights back?"

She grimaced. It had been rough to accept, but she had slammed against the wall so roughly that it was a miracle she didn't get a concussion. She had really liked it and she had a feeling he had picked up on how much she had been missing it over the past few days.

"Er, yes, but what does that have to do with you?"

"Feel bad, is all."

"Like how you felt bad enough to buy me a designer pen?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about." His coat was draped on his chair and he was working on a biscuit tin from the cabinet. "That was just a momento to commemorate our first house together."

"Uh-huh. Sure." She reluctantly but carefully put the watch away. "You better not make a habit of this. I...appreciate the gesture, but I don't need any of this."

"I know."

"So this is the last, um, trinket. Right?"

He leaned forward, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. "Aw. You're cute as a button." He tapped her nose as she spluttered angrily, innocently picking up one of the maps she was pouring over as the rest of the team started to arrive.

After the case, she began writing the report as usual, because Lockwood always had some reason or the other to dawdle. But when she looked up, she felt her breath hitch. The scene was crowded, but he was somehow in her direct line of vision, talking to one of her team members, Catherine, who was laughing at whatever he was saying. She stood there, stunned, as if only just remembering that he had a life outside of her. Betrayal stabbed in her gut. Really, she only had herself to blame for thinking she was somehow special. Maybe it was the long hours, or the exhaustion that had caught up with her, but for a moment there...she could have sworn...

She didn't realise he was standing in front of her. He made some teasing remark as he looked over the report, but she wasn't in the mood. She was never bound to stay with him while he made his own additions to the report, but there was always something magnetic about him that fascinated her, and she wouldn't even realise until he was done. But not today. She glared at him before turning away swiftly, his smooth voice cutting off abruptly.

"Y/N?" He caught up with her, carelessly signing the report. "Was it- was it something I said?"

She turned to look at him, no longer illusioned by dreams or fantasies her mind had a particular propensity to concoct.

"Ugh, you're such a boy."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She had never been a sentimental person, but as they ascended in the elevator of the illusions museum that was their final case, she was feeling some type of way. She glanced at Lockwood, whose eyes snapped up to her face, and she squinted at him suspiciously. But he took care to keep his face blank, so she looked away. She wasn't completely innocent herself, either. It was just the showy swagger with which he walked that drew her eyes to how his rapier hung near his hip. He was always one for theatrics.

When they exited the elevator, it looked as though they were faced with a dead end, until they realised it was just an oddly placed wall.

"I'll climb over, since I'm the one with any real height."

"You're just a fraction taller than me." So not true, which he picked up on as well with a short bark of laughter. Her neck would hurt from looking up at him if they were too close together.

"I'm nearly 1.9 metres tall, and-"

"Oh, shut up; you are not that tall!" But there was no real heat behind her words, and she rolled her eyes at his grin before he pulled himself over. Once they were both at the other side, they wandered around in a maze of mirrors, looking into every door they came across, until Lockwood found one gleaming of iron that wouldn't budge.

"I'm going to pick it."

"Lockwood, no. If the door has an iron frame; it's probably locked for a reason."

"What are the odds?"

"Very high."

"Eh, I'm not convinced."

"Leave the door!"

"Geez, relax. You're no fun."

"...you're picking the lock right now, aren't you?"

"Yep."

She groaned frustratedly, haphazardly trying to get to him through the maze, but it was too late. A shriek rang out in the deathly silence, followed by loud cursing from Lockwood. She caught glimpses of the Spectre through the reflections, which luckily seemed just as confused as them, though significantly more aggrieved. She somehow managed to find the room the Spectre had burst out of, though it seemed to have sealed shut again. She yelled to Lockwood, and tugged harder at the door, finally wrenching it open. She heard his footsteps as he drew closer, rolling in just as she shut the door against the Spectre wailing at his heels.

"Lockwood," she gasped in relief, "you are so full of shit."

Still panting against the door with an angry cut running through his eyebrow, he pressed his mouth against hers, and they were a mess of lips, tongue and teeth clashing against each other. Just as suddenly as it started, it was over, and he looked away, not meeting her eyes. Her vision swam. She had never felt so alive.

"You're maddening," he choked out. "What do you suggest we do, then?"

She was dizzy and felt sure that her legs were going to give away any minute now. "I- I don't...um...god, where is that humming coming from?" She spun around, the buzzing grating against her nerves. After some hunting, they managed to find a box hidden in a cavity in the wall which reeked of psychic charge. They wrapped it in their iron net and instantly the wailing ceased.

They took the elevator down in silence. She watched him from the corner of her eye. His eyes swept her from head to toe with a dark, unrecognisable expression, before he turned to face the doors like her. What was it? Disdain? Interest? Contempt? Awe? She wanted to shake an answer out of him.

"It's hard to be on the same wavelength with someone who insists on arguing with me about everything."

“Look, I’m not the one who decided that you were a terrible person from the get-go.”

“I did not do that. I looked at the evidence and made an educated guess. Besides, I never meant to be so blatant with it. I’m just…an expressive person.”

She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth, grimacing as she heard the smile in his voice.

“Expressive, huh?”

“Oh, sod off.”

He clicked his tongue. She wanted to rip it out with her teeth. "You can be so adorable when you're nice."

"Oh yeah? What am I when I'm not nice?"

The elevator doors opened. Suddenly, his warm breath was ghosting the exposed sliver of her shoulder.

"Hot as fuck."

She briefly short-circuited, Lockwood long gone by the time she came to her senses. She hurried out, kicking herself over how heavily she was breathing over a stupid whisper like that.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a full month before she saw him again, and she never got fully used to working with just her team again. She would turn, wondering why Lockwood was remarkably quiet, or waiting for some smartass comment, but it would never come, and it rubbed at something raw inside of her. She hadn't laughed the way she did with him since he left, and the memory of his bruising kiss hovered at the back of her mind. Not that she missed him or anything, ew. She was glad he was gone. So glad. Good...riddance.

She entered her flat, fumbling for the light switch, sighing at the pile of letters that stood abandoned on her desk. It didn't take long for some part of her to long to reach out to Lockwood, but every letter she wrote was disgustingly sappy. Sometimes, in a fit of desperation she would put on her coat, determined to post her latest letter, but the resolve would fade before she even stepped out. She'd be an embarrassment to Fittes and he would awkwardly explain how she wasn't anyone special and she would never live it down. How humiliating to be rejected by someone who made her life a living hell.

She stabbed her latest letter on her mantle with a newfound passion for vengeance. This was all his fault, the sick bastard. She was going to get him back.

The opportunity somehow presented itself by fate. The next day had just happened to be her day off, when she received a panicked phone call from Lucy. She had to return home for some emergency but George was down with the flu, and Lockwood was away at a client meeting, so would it be alright if she came over for a few hours, just until Lockwood got back?

She went over and calmed a frantic Lucy rushed off her feet enough for her to get to the train station. George was taking a nap, and though Lucy had mentioned that he'd make some soup for himself when he woke, she decided to make herself useful. She was just finishing up the touches on some spaghetti for herself and Lockwood when he arrived. He looked a little stunned to see her, and she couldn't quite find her voice either. He looked more sombre, somehow, like the last month had weighed heavily on him.

"...hey."

"Hey."

"I'm sorry about all this, it's just there was a strike, and the trains were all-"

"Oh, no worries."

"Thank you for the - is that soup?"

"Yes, and some, erm, watery spaghetti-"

"No, it looks amazing, really. You shouldn't have..."

"It was no trouble." They paused as they heard a thump coming from George's door. She left to check on him.

"George? Is everything all right? Is it the soup?"

George coughed, calling out in a raspy voice. "Soup's wonderful, thank you. That isn't Ned, is it?"

"Hm? Oh, no, Lockwood's just come home. But he came around earlier today. He wanted to see how you were doing but you were asleep."

"Oh," he wheezed. "Well, you tell him to piss off if he comes back. And maybe you can tell him I'm doing alright." He took a sip of the soup and closed his eyes. "Try not to murder Lockwood till I'm better. I want a front-row seat."

She smiled to herself as she walked back to the kitchen. Lockwood had put out two plates of the spaghetti for the both of them, and was waiting for her.

"Everything okay?"

She nodded. He picked up his fork, then set it back down, almost as an afterthought.

“You didn’t poison this, did you?” She flung her dishcloth at him, which he caught, but just barely. Damn his reflexes. But things were starting to feel normal again.

“Don’t tempt me.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lockwood had a job to do at a cemetery that evening, and though he insisted he would be fine on his own, the look in his eyes was enough of a request for her help.

"You know," he was saying on the way there, "I've got another job two days later, if you're interested, that is."

"That sounds - oh. Hang on, I'm going to the movies with Terence that day."

"Terence?" She turned to see an uncharacteristically confused Lockwood, looking as though the wind had left his sails. "Not Terence Fisher?"

"He's the only Terence I know. No worries, I think we can shift-"

"No." A stubborn streak that had lied dormant since their reunion emerged, rearing its ugly head. "It's fine. I think it's just a Type One anyway."

"Oh. I mean, you can never be too sure-"

"I'll be fine. I can handle it. You go enjoy your...your date with Terence." He looked so disgusted, and that only enraged her further. They were getting along so well. What was his problem? She responded to his cold shoulder with one of her own, glaring out the cab window.

Despite her anger, the case went smoothly if a bit quieter than normal, and she enjoyed their familiar rhythm that she had so dearly missed. Somewhere in the middle, Lockwood looked as though his anger had thawed, but then his features changed, like he had just remembered something, and he walked away frostily. She swore, biting her tongue. Fucking Lockwood.

She wandered around, kicking at pebbles, while waiting for Lockwood to straighten out his fees with the client when her heart stopped. It couldn't be. She pulled back the vines creeping around one of the headstones in an unmarked plot. The grave of Celia Lockwood.

Once she had gotten over her shock, the words seemed to flow out of her mouth of their own accord. "Um, hi." She cleared her throat. "This is probably...the most disrespectful thing I've done, but, uh, I have to ask about your son. Why the fuck is he so aggravating?" She laughed nervously, hoping Celia Lockwood wouldn't be hunting her down in her sleep for this. "He sucks. I'm sorry, I know it's terrible to say, and I'm sure you were lovely people who gave him the most loving home he could wish for...but god does he suck."

"Y/N?" Lockwood called from a distance. She waved to the headstones before hurrying back, before he could see where she had been loitering.

"I need to drop the report off at DEPRAC. Want to come with? Unless you're off to meet Terence, that is." He looked away. There it was again. Gosh, would it kill him to not pick a fight for once?

"No, I'm not meeting Terence. Not that it's any of your business."

He muttered under his breath, yanking the cab door open more viciously than needed. She could feel her temper bubbling under the surface and Lockwood's was clearly only barely restrained.

"You know," he had started, jaw ticking promisingly, once they were in the elevator. "I don't understand what your problem is."

"Me? I'm not the one throwing a tantrum like a baby."

He sharply inhaled, and she defiantly stared at him, daring him to speak. The doors opened again, and a crowd of people entered, pressing them to the back of the elevator. He seemed to decide against whatever he was going to say.

"Y/N L/N..." he murmured, exhaling through his teeth. They were nearly touching, but not quite, but she could feel the vibrations of him talking. "You are one tough nut to crack."

"Bite me." Her whisper was rougher than intended, but she was unable to tear her thoughts away from her irritation with him. Why was she feeling so shaken up? Stupid Lockwood was stupid, big deal; it wasn't anything new.

"Oh, I think I'd leave that to Terence."

"What is your obsession -" She felt this wave of euphoria wash over her as realisation struck. "Oh my god. Oh. My god. You're jealous."

"Am not." But he looked too disturbed to seem even remotely convincing. They had reached their floor and he was quickly walking away from her, and for once she didn't mind running to keep up with his long strides. Her eyes glittered with glee. Oh, this was absolutely delicious.

"You are so. You can't stand the thought of Terence and I together, can you?" She crowed, only mildly breathless, relishing his discomfort, her words honey on her tongue. Ah, at last, sweet, sweet revenge for his months of hell. "Does it hurt? Does it sting? Does it eat away at you on the ins-"

"Please. Like you've never been jealous either." The gleam in his eye looked so knowing that she felt herself falter.

"How'd you know?"

"I didn't. I...what was it? Ah, yes, 'looked at the evidence and made an educated guess.'"

She shoved his shoulder, and he just laughed. "Still not as down bad as you, idiot."

He slammed the report on the counter, frightening the poor receptionist. "I am not 'down bad.' But you can't pretend like who you're seeing is none of my business."

"But it isn't! Why do you care so much anyway, huh?"

"I just do."

"Then make it your business." Something unstable was climbing up her throat, and the nervous look in his eye told her that he was thinking about the same thing as her - that time he had pulled her lips to his.

"I...I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because...because you're the most insufferable person I've ever had the misfortune of meeting-"

"At least I'm not a completely emotionally avoidant dickhead-"

"An emotionally avoidant dickhead whose throat you stuck your tongue down-"

She shrieked, and before she knew what she was doing, she was pulling her arm back, and she heard the thud of her fist connecting with his cheekbone. From the corner of her eye, she saw a figure that looked suspiciously like Barnes hurriedly back out of the lobby.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was all over before it even began. The uppercut was enough to shut him up for the ride back to 35 Portland Row, where she forced him into a chair at the dining table and pulled out their first aid kit. She

"I'm sorry I punched you." Not even a little, but she had to be the first to try to make amends. Not that he would have the initiative. He just sullenly looked down at the table, twitching his cheek a little. "Is there something you'd like to say to me? An apology, perhaps?"

"Apologise for what? The truth?"

She clenched her teeth. "It was crass, and in public -"

"Big deal. I'm always crass in public with you. What was so bad about it this time that you just had to beat me up?"

"I didn't beat you up -"

"Oh, so I just did this to myself, then?"

She had promised George that she would wait till he was better, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold out on strangling him. "Enough with the snark."

"I'll tell you why it bothered you so much."

"Lockwood."

"Because it was true. It was the truth, and it hurt, and you couldn't stand it-"

For the second time in less than a span of an hour, she saw red. She stumbled out the door, grabbing the golf club that was in the stand with their rapiers, and there she was now. George wasn't too upset; he seemed to enjoy the view from his bedroom window.

"Y/N -"

"SHUT UP!"

"Y/N, please, let's talk about this -"

"Oh, now you want to talk?"

"Please, just put down the golf club -"

"FUCK YOU!" She continued demolishing his car until he finally wrestled the club out of her hands.

"What's gotten into you?" Lockwood cried, and he looked concerned enough to give her pause. She blinked her murderous rage away, regret overwhelming her. Numbly, she allowed herself to be guided back inside, where Lockwood made a cup of tea for both of them.

“Oh god.” She buried her face in her hands, the embarrassment finally catching up to her. Had she completely lost her mind? “I’m such a mess. I’m sorry you had to see all that.”

“S’okay.”

“I’ll leave now.”

“Hey - what for?”

“Are...are you kidding me? I just smashed your car to bits. I might be medically certified insane.”

“I don’t mind. I’ll put up with it.”

“...you’ll hate that. It’s rotten work.”

“Not to me. Not if it’s you.” She exhaled, watching the tiny daisies at the windowsill sigh and flutter in the barely-there wind. He aggrieved her like a bad habit she couldn't quite kick.

“You’re…a masochist.”

“I’m aware.”

“No, I don’t think you are.”

“Why else would I have held out so long for you?”

The teasing was back, and she let out a short, indignant gasp before walking towards him and sitting in his lap. Her eyelashes grazed his cheek as she traced the dressing on his bruise. Pity that his gorgeous face had been the only punching bag in the vicinity.

“I’m always going to hate loving you. You know that, right?”

“Know it? It’s my crowning achievement.”

She punched his shoulder and he let out an exaggerated wheeze that made her laugh despite herself. She shifted and leaned on his chest as they watched the sunlight glimmer over the shards that littered the driveway. He was both the light of her life and the insanity that drove her to destruction. She didn’t feel so bad about the car anymore.

Serves him right for fucking her up this way.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So...Lockwood."

They hadn't been overly obvious about their relationship, but it wasn't exactly something they could keep from George and Lucy. Lucy was back from her trip and was tickled pink by the smashed up Volvo in the driveway.

"Yeah. Lockwood."

"You do realise that he is absolutely batshit crazy?"

She smiled into her tea. “Yeah. You’re probably right. But,” she smiled innocently. “I am my father’s daughter. Maybe I can fix him.”

[almondmlkbtch]

🦋 Intro Post 🔮

TW: ED

Im olive ,, 25, welcome 2 my blog 🌚

I don't encourage anyone to try and develop an ED & support recovery for those struggling. Plz plz plz get help if you even think you might need it. This my space to vent. I am in therapy & have been for 5+ years now. It has saved me many times. U deserve love & support & validation & to grow towards ur healthiest self !!!

Background I have struggled w ED on + off past 5 ish years. Have been underweight at multiple points in my life & during this period but only developed an ED during covid.

Ig it’s worth mentioning I am an actor & a dancer, have done pre professional / some professional work and so I take my weight kind of seriously as it rly has to do w my job. Just another reason to take anything I post w a grain of salt (I am disordered !!!! My thoughts & actions r not normal most of the time)

Also want to say that my eventual goal IS to lose & sustain my lw healthily (which i have done before!) That goal is becoming more important as I just moved to the city a yr ago & im feeling settled / ready to amp it up for audition seasons.

Anyway I relapse a lot & honestly keeping a blog helps me to see the patterns in my behavior & has helped me stop doing stupid shit before. Again hoping to eventually get to lw healthily. Sry if this is rambling lmao I’ve been needing to update 🙄🙄

🥲

My stats

🌸 HW: 138

🌸 LW: 112

SW: 132 131 130 129 128 127

GW1: 126 125 124 123 122 121

GW2: 120 119 118 117 116 115

GW3: 114 113 112 111 110

UGW: somewhere btwn 95-100 .. not sure

I update CW in my bio

[poppyandzena]

I find it fascinating that Poppy has gone through exposure therapy, because she does not live by the tenets of it. Like at all.

Disclaimer: I am a lay person who went through exposure therapy for OCD. So please take my observations with a grain of salt. This is probably going to be way too long.

The entire point of exposure therapy is to confront your anxiety through repeated exposures to triggers over time. It starts out with small exposure exercises, and the exercises become more intensive as time goes on. The key to successful exposure therapy is to stop reassurance seeking, and stop avoidance behaviors. These behaviors actually make the distress/intrusive thoughts worse, because they unintentionally affirm your irrational fears/intrusive thoughts.

The best comparison would be physical therapy for a broken leg. The exercises hurt like a bitch, but you have to do them to regain your mobility. If you keep your leg in a limited range of motion, you're going to be stuck like that for the rest of your life. Avoidance behaviors are basically the equivalent of skipping exercises. Reassurance is like a crutch. You might need it at first, but if you refuse to stop relying on it, you’re never going to regain your emotional mobility/flexibility.

Exposure therapy is incredibly empowering. The deeper you go, the more your world opens up and you wonder how you ever lived like you did before. But it’s also incredibly painful, and often terrifying. You basically have to confront your worst fears every day in increasingly larger doses.

Now here are two examples I can think of off the top of my head where Poppy actively does the opposite of what exposure therapy teaches you. I could probably find more if I dug through the documents again.

Poppy made Noeh walk on eggshells about her other partners due to her intrusive thoughts about them. An exposure therapist would never recommend that. In fact exposure therapy is often a family affair, because your loved ones have to be convinced not to reassure you or help avoid the triggers. The healthiest path forwards would have been to let Noeh talk about her partners more frequently as time went on. Making Noeh constantly avoid the topic makes the intrusive thoughts and distress worse. You can actually see this in the logs. Poppy’s reaction gets more extreme after every incident.

Your therapist will challenge your version of reality, and they will push you to uncomfortable emotional places. It’s not exposure therapy if you're not being exposed to discomfort. The deeper you get into sessions, the more they will flat out refuse to comfort you or reassure you about your anxiety. This is because the entire point of doing treatment is so you don’t rely on reassurance and don’t engage in destructive behaviors to get that reassurance. So Poppy yelling at her therapist for not reassuring her enough about her “rape” is genuinely shocking. Someone in exposure therapy would usually never have that kind of relationship with their therapist

To be clear, I’m not accusing Poppy of lying about going through exposure therapy. I’m just shocked that she seems to have taken nothing from it.

I know there has been some discussion about exposure therapy being bad for people with dissociative symptoms. I can’t speak to that, as I do not experience those types of symptoms. However, I can say that dissociating through an exposure exercise kinda defeats the purpose. The point is not to stop feeling your feelings. The point is to learn how to feel your feelings without relying on maladaptive coping mechanisms.

^ 🧡🧡🧡

[eatclean-bewhole]

I have been fascinated with @danbuettner ‘s work & study on the Blue Zones, also known as areas of the world of where the healthiest and longest living people (centenarians) reside. These people are the definition of longevity, so it’s worth studying their characteristics.

Where are the 5 Blue Zones?

🇺🇸Loma Linda, California (U.S.A.)

🇨🇷Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica

🇮🇹Sardinia, Italy

🇬🇷Ikaria, Greece

🇯🇵Okinawa, Japan

 

Blue Zone characteristics:

• 90% - 100% of their diet consists of whole, plant-based foods high in fiber!
Fruits, vegetables, tubers, nuts, beans (daily), whole grains 
NOTE: they retreat from dairy but will reach for goat & sheep milk products.

• Cruciferous veggies – broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower

• Cook & finish dishes with olive oil

• Supplement w/ fresh herbs & spices (w/ medicinal & healing properties) – rosemary, oregano, sage, mint, garlic, turmeric, mugwort

• Snack on nuts – almonds, pistachios, Brazil nuts, cashews, walnuts

• Whole grains – sourdough, 100% whole wheat, rye, barley
NOTE: sourdough is naturally lower in gluten, has gut-supportive bacteria, & high in fiber.

• Their diet is naturally low in sugar. (No more than 7 tsp/day).

• Drink mostly water & green tea. They also drink some coffee (antioxidants) & red wine (polyphenols) in moderation.

Other factors:

o   Fast occasionally

o   They move naturally every 20 minutes or so.

o   Regular connections

o   Little time on electronics

o   Sense of purpose

"If you want to live to a healthy 100, you have to eat & live like healthy people who've lived to 100." -Dan Buettner

[beautyandlifestyleblog86]

There are several countries known for having some of the healthiest cuisines in the world, characterized by fresh, whole foods, a variety of fruits and vegetables, lean proteins, and balanced flavors. Some of these countries include:

1. Japan: The traditional Japanese diet is based on fish, seafood, rice, tofu, vegetables, and fermented foods like miso and kimchi. Japanese cuisine is known for its emphasis on fresh, seasonal ingredients and simple, flavorful dishes.

2. Greece: The Mediterranean diet, which is commonly found in countries like Greece, is rich in olive oil, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and fish. The diet is high in antioxidants, healthy fats, and fiber, and is associated with numerous health benefits.

3. Italy: Italian cuisine is known for its emphasis on fresh, high-quality ingredients such as tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, herbs, and whole grains. The Mediterranean diet, common in Italy, is associated with a lower risk of heart disease and other chronic conditions.

4. South Korea: Korean cuisine features a wide variety of fermented foods, vegetables, lean proteins, and grains. Kimchi, a staple in Korean cuisine, is a fermented vegetable dish that is rich in probiotics and has numerous health benefits.

5. India: Indian cuisine is characterized by a wide array of spices, legumes, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins like lentils and chickpeas. Many traditional Indian dishes are vegetarian or vegan, making them rich in plant-based nutrients.

6. Thailand: Thai cuisine is known for its bold flavors, fresh herbs, and aromatic spices. Thai dishes often feature a balance of sweet, sour, salty, and spicy flavors, and incorporate plenty of fresh fruits, vegetables, and seafood.

7. Morocco: Moroccan cuisine is rich in spices, herbs, nuts, seeds, vegetables, and lean proteins like fish and poultry. Tagines, a traditional Moroccan stew, often contain a variety of vegetables and are cooked slowly to infuse flavors.

[darkness-falls-tarot]

The current love life of Pedro Pascal: What are his emotions towards dating; has he had any regrets in dating? Also what type of partner does he want?

All readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only; please take each reading with a grain of salt.

How is Pedro feeling about dating these days: king of pentacles reversed, 7 of swords reversed, ace of cups - I think Pedro has been burned in love before and he’s a bit weary about dating especially nowadays. He may feel like those who are willing to date him will only do so to gain more recognition in the industry and use him to further their career. For that sake he’s more mindful of his dating life and who he’s with. He wants love though and has been wanting it for a long time; but it’s never worked out.

What happened that steered him in this direction: the high priestess, 6 of swords reversed, death, 3 of swords reversed, the hangman - in this particular relationship that soured him; Pedro initially thought all was going well and I believe it was. The relationship was fresh and exciting but then things changed in a drastic manner; he suddenly felt like his partner was more cold and sinister than he initially thought. They may have seemed charming and sweet when they met; but over time they began to show their true colors and they wanted to tell Pedro who he could be around and what he could do. This relationship was not the healthiest for him and he left as soon as he could. If he didn’t leave he would’ve been trapped and with someone who loved the idea of him but not him.

What advice can I give to Pedro: 2 of wands, 4 of wands - right now he feels he needs to decide between work and life; he’s making decisions that will further his career and has actively been working on that for the past few years; but I think Pedro is coming to a point where he wants a life with his own family and someone he can come home to after days of working himself to exhaustion on the film sets. Pedro can have these things; both work and a family but he needs to work on the life he wants just as passionately as he has for his work. If Pedro dedicates that much energy as he has with his work into forming his own family; I sense he’d have a wonderful life overall.

What type of person does Pedro want: Queen of swords, page of pentacles, 6 of cups side, king of wands - he’s wanting someone who is very strong willed and caring overall. This person not only can stand their own ground but also has an incredibly big heart and tries to help everyone they can. This person also has the ability to command a room but their manner isn’t like menacing or demanding; they can be soft spoken and tell someone how things should be. They will also be a sweet soul who is silly and has a spirit like a child; but they also can turn this off when it’s needed and suddenly be the most badass woman on earth.

Oracle card for Pedro: mirror, the runner, coffee cup - Pedro is right now keeping things like dating off his mind. He’s trying to get himself to where he feels safe to date someone and know it’s for real. He wants to find someone who he may start out as friends and go from there; this relationship may be a slow burn but taking time to learn this person and learn from himself could actually help him find the best relationship of his life.

[firelitmoon]

[Yes there are other characters please don’t bully me I won’t handle that ]

Rubbing my nose now and watching Augustin repeatedly breathing in, I try not to laugh. Tristen is chugging down his beer. I nod at Celia inviting her for last line.

“Is it even a good idea? I’m pretty fucked up.” She asks me worried.

“Cocaine is the healthiest thing you can do.” Gerta laughs at Augustine for this phrase and gives a real reply

“Don’t listen to him, you shouldn’t.”

“I won’t.”

Shrugging I make a clearly impulsive decision but I lean over and snort the last line. The hand reaches on my head and grabs my hair between its fingers. It’s Augustine hand, I don’t understand what he is doing, my vision if blurry from the drug mixing I try to get back to senses and lift my head up and instead I have my head bashed onto the table.

Again, and Again. Full force agains the table and perhaps few left over grains of cocaine is stuck to my skin. Again, and again. I don’t know how much times i was hit like that but eventually my head is left alone and I badly contain to not laugh full force, I do break into something that sounds closer to cackling tho.

“You could’ve broken the table! Bloody hell.” Tristen yells out at Augustine who is still audibly laughing. Just realised Tristen spoke with this cockney accent all this time.

“He is fine, look at him.” Augustin replies digging his hand back into my hair, I whimp out. He yanks my head up, I keep laughing and nudge him before he hit my head now at the wall behind me. Although I don’t stop with my adrenaline indulged laughed.

Never felt so close to heaven so close to God as I did when his hand slid lover then my hair to my neck. I wanted for him to go lover and grab onto my back pulling the skin away from it, digging his fingers into me. My obsession tends to get extreme, I’m a degenerated. It’s satyric what I’m feeling, the itch inside of me is only stronger and so set in. Perhaps it’s cocaine, the adrenaline rush, but I never felt so right in place in my life.

Surprising they all reacted to it so normally, I wonder if it’s because of drugs or a usual practise. Thought I hallucinated the music, but actually Gertrude just made it louder. Celia chuckles and gave Augustin a little napkin

“You are still disgusting.” She says drinking from the bottle. And starts complaining about her ex between the three of them, we were left at our own world id wish to stay in for longer.

Augustin doesn’t takes the napkin and turns me to face him. He wipes my bleeding nose with his finger and licks blood away from it. He looks at me and smiles, so satisfied, so psychotic. Exquisite even. He lifted my head up.

“I like you” He spoke to me before forcing his thumb and pointer inside my mouth and pressing on my canines. I keep an eye contact. Augustine stop pressing his hand so hard, I instantly by the instinct kiss his fingers. Bringing my face closer with his hand he doesn’t give the grace of a kiss, he simply licks my lips and all the blood from them. We don’t keep respectful distance anymore I would say, but he doesn’t touch me either.