#healing help

[mamabone]

✨BPD Communication✨

Healthy communication can be so difficult with BPD - we often come with different responses and ways of handling difficult communication than other people because of our trauma. Some of us shout, scream and say things that we really don't mean while some of us shut down, stop responding and ignore the conversation which can often make it worse. Communication is so difficult and if you're having issues with it you definitely aren't alone. It's probably one of the most common struggles so let me give you a few tips for beginning to fix any communication issues!

Tip One: Awareness ✨

You can't fix issues if you aren't aware of what they are. Self awareness is essential if you wish to heal and grow, so let's practice that first.

I want you to get a notebook or piece of paper and a pen and I want you to think back on your difficult conversations, particularly those where you felt most triggered or upset. What about the conversation upset you? Was it the wording, the tone, the language used? Why did that upset you? Did you respond in a healthy way? What did you do well and what could you have done better? What do you want to be able to do differently in the future?

Questions like these will always be difficult to answer as they force you to look at what you did wrong as well as what the other person did. But that's growth. You cannot grow if you cannot recognise your negative behaviours as well. There's no shame in them but they do need to be recognised. Take your time to answer the questions and truly think about them.

Tip Two: Take a Break ✨

Now this one will take a little practice to put into order but I've found it to be extremely helpful in regulating emotions during tricky conversations.

Most people with BPD can feel a split coming before it does. Sure, we may only get a moment before it but that moment is going to be crucial for you. When you feel that split building and you can get that little gap of time before it hits, you must walk away from whatever is triggering you. I know, I know, easier said than done. It took me a long time to be able to do this so I understand fully how difficult its going to be.

If its a conversation over text, you're going to leave the messages and leave your phone entirely. Don't just switch apps, don't play a game, put it down and walk away until you can feel your emotions subsiding slightly. Make a cup of tea, watch TV, paint your nails, scream into a pillow, dunk your head into ice cold water, go outside and scream bloody murder at the top of your lungs. Whatever it is you need to do to let that emotion out. But don't reply. If its a conversation in person I want you to do your best to hyper focus on your breathing. Breath manually, control it, and walk out of the room or building. If they try to follow you, do your best to say something like "need a break, be back in 5".

This is always going to be difficult to do but try to work up to it. Both of these things are the very basic foundation for healing and learning positive responses to difficult communication. Work on them, try your best, and then you've already taken the first steps. You can do this, I know you can. It won't be easy and I won't lie and say it will be, but it's doable. You can do it, angels ✨🌙

[young-anxiety]

so this is a personal post about some unrequited emotions and spiritual stuff the I've been struggling with for a while now I'm mostly venting but if you want to read and think you could help me out I'd be really really grateful

ok so a couple of things 1st I'm empathic to a degree I know there's a stigma around people who say they're empaths but I don't really know how else to explain myself I don't think I'm all knowing and I don't really talk about it with anyone and I honestly wish I just wasn't like this or could control it a bit more 2nd I'm also borderline and have adhd so that is definitely not helping at all and I have a really hard time telling the difference between reality and emotions

all that said there's this guy I've had a thing for for a while now maybe a year or so and like it's not and wasn't a little crush I care about him so much even though he hurt me profoundly and fucked with my job it was a 'love' at first sight kinda deal for me and these feeling became directly linked to my spirituality I'll try to explain the best I can but for context me and my family are all spiritual people my great (great?) grandmother was the village bruja and our beliefs are that of our hispanic culture though watered down quiet a bit

so the deal with this guy (we'll just call him z) and my spiritual views is that I asked spirit for something very specific and z was a very specific answer like he was exactly what I wished for and was trying to manifest for a long time and I believed that he felt the same for me there was a connection there no matter what happened it was obvious not only to me but to those around us me and z met through work and he eventually became my boss but that's not the point the point is that I was asking my spirit guides/ancestors about him and whether he felt the same and I was always told yes and to just wait because he's scared of his feelings for you so give him time which I did but I asked him once if I could kiss him while we were alone and he said no so I assumed that he didn't feel the same and that I was just wrong but spirit kept telling yes he does just wait just wait and we were still fairly close friends during all of this until we had a falling out and he ended up stabbing me in the back and forced me to leave a job I loved which is a story for another time

the falling out caused me to question whether spirit or the universe or guides or ghost or any of it was real because of how linked Z was/is to my beliefs I didn't really trust the advice guides would give me or what they'd say or anything like that up until I met Z because he was just such a concrete answer to all my questions and I came to just fully trust in spirit and believed that the universe was on my side, that it cared about me and loved me and was working behind the scenes to help me so when we had our falling out it completely shattered my entire world view and made me question something I had felt and believed in my entire life. it wasn't just about the boy it was about my world view and I went to a very dark place after that that I hadn't been to in a long time

so the thing is that I still care about him and I still love him and I still feel like he loves me and will come back to me no matter what. I stepped away from spirituality for a while after all that but came back to it anyway. I tried to make myself believe that life is it and that if there are spirits and things they don't care about us and that the here and now is it but it never really worked so I went back to it and I didn't ask about Z at all I didn't try to get advice or input or anything I just tried to focus on using spirituality as a tool for self improvement. I didn't let myself believe there was actual magic to it or anything and that it was all just my subconscious yada yada yada but Z kept coming back up in all of it and the message was never let go and move on it was wait a little longer he's coming back now that you've had some separation Z realized his mistake and wants you back in his life. I was really really angry about this because consciously I knew it wasn't realistic, he has or had a girlfriend and he was tho one who pushed me away and he had made no attempt to contact me or anything. In my final two weeks at the job we both worked at he only talked to me or looked at me if he absolutely had to otherwise he completely ignored me and I did the same back but I tried a couple of times to make things alittle better, not to fix it but make it so we didn't leave on such bad terms but that didn't happen and yet, I still felt/feel like he loves me the way I love him and that he's coming back to me

fast forward to today I've been hearing from. spirit that its all gonna happen very soon just you wait but I saw him tonight for the first time in a long time and I spoke to him just a casual hey and first off I'm pretty sure he's still got a girlfriend and he at no point after our hellos tried to talk to me at all and I'm just getting very tired of it all.

i keep jumping from wanting him and wanting to believe he'll come back to just wanting it all to be over and done with and I've gotten to that point a couple times but my feelings for him are still very strong I still care about him a lot and I still want him so so much. I love him, I'm in love with him and have been since we met. I know a lot of it if not all of it is probably me just convincing myself he wants me because I want him. I've done that all my life in one way or another, I let myself live in a fantasy and feel like spirit is part of it. I'm trying really hard to separate from that and see reality but its very difficult. I just want to be able to know for sure how he feels and by his actions I don't think he even cares but also he's just kind of a closes off person so idk. I kind of want to try and talk to him about it but because of how our friendship ended me reaching out via text or something seems like a bad idea and I don't think he'd even respond and what would I even say? our falling out actually has a lot to do with it too

quick run down I asked flat out "do you want to be my friend because I try very hard to be you're friend and you don't" and he responded with we're not real friends we're just work friends" and I was very professional about it. I pulled away from him and became distant because I was hurt! but I was never mean or unprofessional I just started treating him like my boss rather than my friend. I tried to remain very kind and polite to him but I was hurt and I'm sure at times I was a bit snippy but I had no ill will and His response was to get petty, to stop scheduling me all together and not even responding when I asked if I still had a job, my picture was removed from a white board with all other employees pics (including people who didn't work there anymore) other people seemed wary of me I was left out of import work group chats and just lots of subtle things. now I'll say it wasn't just Z one of my other bosses had a major hand in it all but the two were very close and just so many other details I don't want to get into but you get the point. I didn't do anything to deserve That kind of treatment. Was I maybe cold and a little bit he with those two specific people probably but no one else ever had the same kind of co.plaints Z and my other boss had including another boss of mine who I spent the most time with when working. but all that to say I feel you could understand why I don't want to be the one to reach out and if he did want me back in his life he would have to be the one to approach me anyway ya dig.? all that said I'm just really confused and frustrated. I don't know how to talk about this with friends because how do you explain "I feel we are spiritually connected and that he is in love with me the way I'm in love with him" without sounding like a completely deluded idiot? I just could really use some advice and possibly be able to talk with someone else who has experience with this kind of situation or just knows more about spirituality and magic and stuff than I do. either way I'm just so so tired of it and if he's not coming back anytime soon or ever I want to just be able to move the fuck on! why can't I just move on?

[beif0ngs]

I had a different name back then, you know. Powder. You kind of remind me of her.

[hansoeii]

look at you, you're gorgeous!

[girlwithrituals]

GLOW UP GUIDE FOR 2025⠀

READ: On average, it takes more than 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. And considering that 2025 is precisely these many days away, why not start with our glow up plan already?

Physical Glow Up-

BODY

— 5-10K steps a day.

— 7-8 hours of sleep.

— workout everyday for 1 hr atleast- yoga/stretching/pilates/cardio. a workout may take one hour, but your mood will be boosted for the next 12 hours.

— posture training.

— sunlight exposure after waking up for at least 10 minutes.

NUTRITION

— 2-3 liters of water every day.

— limit your caffeine intake.

— avoid sugars as much as you can.

— high protein diet, pre and probiotics.

— more fruits and veggies (+ green smoothies if you like).

— no junk/processed food/trans fat.

— no eating after 8 pm.

SKINCARE

— be clear on your skin type (oily, dry, combination, sensitive).

— once you're clear, use these accordingly- cleanser, toner, targeted serum, eye cream, moisturizer, sunscreen (≥50 spf).

— keep your bedding clean as well.

— no picking of skin on your lips, cuticle etc.

— gua sha to help improve blood circulation and lessen toxins.

— cold therapy may take three to five minutes of being uncomfortable, but your energy levels will be boosted for the rest of the day.

— remove makeup before you go to bed.

BODY CARE

— shower every day.

— exfoliate 2x a week.

— use body lotion (shea butter/aloe vera gel/coconut oil).

HAIR CARE

— wash hair 2-3x a week

— oil your scalp 2x a week, at least 3 hours before shampoo.

— hair mask 1x per week.

— never brush wet hair.

— use silk pillow case.

HYGIENE

— brush your teeth 2x a day, clean tongue and the roof of the mouth daily.

— floss daily.

— cut your nails 1x a week, never remove the cuticles.

— glycolic acid under arm for odor and discoloration.

— never use soap on your coochie.

Mental Glow Up-

MINDSET

— set clear goals- define and breakdown your aspirations.

— start your mornings with positive affirmations.

— surround yourself with uplifting content and people.

— be shamelessly selfish to your career and mental health, remove anyone or anything that doesn't align with your priorities and wellbeing.

— boost your brain health by these 4 neuroscience tools:

difficult first: start your day with the most difficult task (cortisol and dopamine are high in the body meaning that your body/mind is primed to work).

rest your eyes: introduce a micro-pause after learning by resting/closing your eyes - will help retain information better.

tomorrow's worries: write tomorrow's to-do list before bed as it is proven to be effective in helping you fall asleep.

find time to play: engage in low-stake play. can be anything you find fun but where the outcome doesn't matter (induces neuroplasticity + reduces stress).

MIND

— meditation might take as low as ten minutes, but your focus will be improved for the rest of the day.

— no social media after waking up and at least an hour before bed.

— keep aside 1 hr of time to read daily! reading a new book may take five hours, but you will keep the knowledge forever.

— journaling, gratitude.

— digital detox once a week or for 12 hours.

— limit unnecessary screentime, unfollow or cut off people you don't want to see.

JOURNALING

— choose a regular time each day to journal, making it a part of your routine.

— find a quiet, comfortable place free from distractions. light a candle if you want.

— allow your thoughts to flow without censoring or editing.

— write about your feelings and emotions to understand them better. write about things you are thankful for to boost your mood. write about your short-term and long-term goals. identify what triggers certain emotions or reactions

— set a timer for 5-10 minutes and write continuously during that time.

— reflect on both positive experiences and challenges.

— make lists, journal your thoughts on these questions.

— journal at night to clear your mind before bedtime, because emotions and thoughts lose their power once we acknowledge them.

— a gratitude practice may take five minutes, but your mindset will be shifted for the rest of the day.

AFFIRMATIONS

— customise affirmations to your needs.

Personal Life-

WEEKLY TASKS

— initiate small changes: begin with small, manageable tasks such as making your bed or cleaning your room every sunday.

— celebrate your success: reward yourself when you achieve your goals or have a consistently productive week. consider treats like buying flowers for yourself or watching your favorite show.

DAILY WORK

— set achievable goals: establish realistic goals for the day, week, or month ahead.

— track your progress.

— organise your work space, declutter your shelves etc.

— embrace the power of lists: keep a list of tasks to be done and their deadlines. this way, you start each day with a clear plan. to make it visually appealing and motivating, consider using productivity apps like evernote, habit tracker, or notion.

PRODUCTIVITY TIPS

— wake up early.

— plan ahead everything, do scheduling. you can use:

google calendar / notion / tasks .

— if the task takes less than 2 minutes to finish, do it immediately.

— countdown rule, if you are procrastinating, count 1-2-3-4-5 and jump.

— start slow, don't rush and try to do everything at one time.

— follow a proper routine, use app locks based on screentime.

— pomodoro technique, 25 min work, and 5 min break.

— schedule longer break times as well e.g 30 min nap.

[fromheavensent]

　　 ˚ 　　　 . ✧　　 　　˚ 　　　 . ✧　　 　　˚ 　　　 .

October will be filled with joy.

October will be filled with love.

October will be filled with trust.

October will be filled with peace.

October will be filled with miracles.

October will be filled with clarity.

October will be filled with blessings.

[slasherfantasy]

Fuck-or-die sex pollen fic, where Ghost insists on being the one to fuck you and help you through the toxin.

The others think it's because he has a thing for you (he does), but only Price really understands why Ghost is volunteering. Because there was a time where Ghost also didn't have a say in whether or not someone was inside him, where his choice was also 'be fucked, or die'.

And at least if it's Ghost fucking you, he can make sure that it's as gentle and kind as you deserve. He can make sure it doesn't hurt, that it feels good, that you're given all the respect and dignity possible. You can't consent right now, but he's going to ensure you aren't traumatized like he was

And if he can do this for you, and be gentle, and kind, it proves that he really hasn't become who Roba wanted him to be, right?

[ed-recoverry]

Reminder that caregivers of children are, by definition, supposed to provide shelter, food, and clothing. They did not do you a huge favor by providing this. It was the bare minimum of the job description that they voluntarily signed up for. You are not indebted to your caregivers for giving you the very basics.

[bruciemilf]

There’s something off about Bruce.

Dick’s eye is trained for detail; He has to calculate every leap, every step, every breath, every count. He’s a showman. Everything is routine, and routine is everything.

Injury isn’t unusual, especially for his father .He out stubborns Tim in resisting medical examinations, after all.

For Bruce, secrets are protection. He lied about every injury he had when Dick was Robin, suffering in silent agony as the pain grew and grew, a tradition he carries on from Jason to Damian.

If Bruce screams, it’s bad.

“God fucking dammit, how the fuck does he do this? Who the fuck breaks their femur AND just carries on? Jesus FUCKING Christ.”

Bruce curses under his breath, profanity hushed. Dick’s veins freeze, blood turning to stone. He guesses his shock is obvious because Jason mirrors it to perfection.

One; Bruce doesn’t curse.

Two; He definitely doesn’t curse in a jersey accent.

The unease is pungent. Alfred practically tastes it, vitriolic as anything. His chest is taut, pulse slow, “Sir,” it’s cautious, “Shall I prepare the supplies?”

‘Bruce’ waves his hand, voice gruffer, lower, smokey, “Yeah, thanks, babe,”

Alfred blinks. And whoever pretends to be Bruce, blinks back, almost like a deer being cornered by an English hound, smile a bit boyish and unsure.

“…Thomas?”

“… Okay, you’re gonna laugh—“

Dick is reeling, because apparently:

His dead grandparents have been possessing his father throughout the years and they, wards to the best detective in the world, never caught on.

“Look, I get you’re pissed, BUT,” It’s so unbelievably weird watching Bruce be so expressive;

His hands move energetically, like they have their own voices, and his rain soft voice catches on fire when his father talks through him,

“This IS 50% MY body, technically.“

“Thomas, dear, that is not how that works. Come now, you’re scaring our grandchildren.”

And Jason’s voice is uncharacteristically soft when he speaks, more posh, more elegant . That is not his brother.

Alfred passes out, to no one’s surprise.

[gentlenotes-moved]

your friends hating you is a lie pushed by Big Trauma. don't believe it!!!!!

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

[maxiglow]

be addicted to real dopamine

be in the present and notice those little things you never saw before, but that have always been there

experience new exciting things that bring you joy

love people, listen to them and create meaningful connections

make art and don’t label it as “good” or “bad,” just let your soul be free

stop scrolling on social media and start turning pages of an interesting book

do mindfulness meditation and feel your body and mind calming down

move your body, no matter how as long as you’re enjoying

listen to music that matches the moment you’re in

eat nourishing food, feel your stomach full without discomfort

get a good night of sleep and feel yourself ready for another day

[thequotegarden]

[mamabone]

Never regret loving. Never regret expressing joy. Never regret being happy. Never regret trying. Never regret taking a chance. Never regret enjoying things. Never regret finding peace.

[miscellaneousrenaissant]

Ep 3 AU in which Evan succeeded on his death save but lost his arm, so K made him a prosthesis while the group was still on Galamanis