#fucking schizophrenia

[sad-rackateer]

there was a time when a girl such as myself could take a hit off of her weed pen and simply chill, but no! now if I do that I detach from reality and experience symptoms of psychosis. Fucking mental illness.

[mayasaura]

I don't wanna further hijack that poor poll, but the thing about Harrow's schizophrenia is that it's canon. The author has confirmed it, and shared that it's based on her own experience.

It's a pretty obscure bit of canon, so of course there's no shame in not already knowing, but that's why I'm so obnoxiously persistent about letting people know.

Whatever else is up with Harrow, autism or cptsd or any number of likely headcanons, she is also schizophrenic. I feel like that's too important to be handwaved away as a difference of opinion.

[autopsyfreak]

if i see one more ‘delulu’ im going to hurt someone

[fortjester]

harrow the ninth by tamsyn muir — drunk drivers/killer whales by car seat headrest — maya the psychic by gerard way — western nights by ethel cain — sex with a ghost by teddy hyde — we're in love by boygenius

[innerangeltoadlover]

IDEOLOGY : LIFE IN SCHIZOPHRENIA

1. I was inspired to write this because I believe a diagnosis of schizophrenia silences those who suffer from the illness. I wrongly believed after my sister took me to Court in an effort to make me homeless that I would never have to fight for my truth to be heard again. Poor outcomes for patients are linked to expedient treatments - ones which may ignore salient indicators of abuse in order to place mental illness as the cause of behaviour and the only valid truth. There is probably nothing more demeaning and disheartening than telling your therapist about abuse and having it received as a fairytale. My story will show the consequences of skepticism and disbelief in the treatment of schizophrenia which allows for the generalisation of experiences without differentiation. We are better than this.

Sometimes , well often, when we read a memoir there’s an assumption that the person writing has overcome some insurmountable hardship. It motivates us to think that we can do the same – and at some point we , like the author, will walk into the sunset with clarity, humour and perhaps in hand with another. These are the kinds of books I usually stop reading after the first chapter because life , and in particular my life, has not been like this. I want to write about the ugly side of mental illness and the reason why there are so many of us who exist without that longed for happy ending. For those of us who don’t crawl out of the mire our lives are not improved by the application of lipstick or the urging of those who have. Despite our travels through a social media polluted with inspiring memes and motivational scenarios real hardship is present and remains unchanged despite its synonymous pairing with choice.

So my story isn’t going to be particularly uplifting -there has been no victory here – I write because I have to – not because I want to. I’m hoping in writing that I might gain some internal peace over the war my mind wages with me, particularly at night when the lack of distraction makes sleep elusive. I think publishing is a bit of a minefield for people like me. I’m wary of writing anything that resembles some clueless manifesto but at the same time I think it’s important for people with this illness to write something real that isn’t Instagramable and also at nearly 60 I’ve come to view my illness as a valid part of my individuality and I wish to defend it rather than have this unique part of me trampled into submission by doctors who view me like a bacteria in a Petri dish. The truth is this illness is crap but the treatment is crappier and you are trapped in it , well I have been anyway. However the older I get the more I’ve realised that much of the prejudice and stigma linked to this illness has much of its origins in treatment. I used to have a social conscience and was concerned about the plight of my fellow sufferers but it has been chipped away. When my Shrink tells me of advances in care it sort of hangs in the air like a fog in a windowless room. These days I say very little when these professionals say this nonsense which I’ve heard so many times– I’m nearly old but I was young once and I wasn’t born in the Dark Ages- I was hopeful , though that hope has disintegrated. The old mantra “you can’t reason with a schizophrenic” is alive and well in most psychiatrists offices however it is often only the benefit of hindsight that allows us to see the stark relief against the empty rhetoric. It also painfully exhibits that in my case my treatment was inhibited by doctors who could not tell fact from fiction and who had ultimately decided that some lives are worth more than others.

[adayinthelife0faschiz0]

[hhonstage]

[lifenconcepts]

Reminder that you have zero right to romanticise or joke about other people’s mental illnesses or disorders unless it is your own or the individual has condoned certain jokes.

[mayasaura]

Ortus' murder from the point of view of Harrow the Ninth is like. So turns out Crux isn't just Harrow's seneschal, he's her nurse. He was her touchstone for reality for years, the person she turned to to ask "did that really happen?" or "is that real?". And he lied to her.

She didn't believe him, about Ortus. He didn't succeed at pulling that one over on her, but he tried. Which kind of makes you question how many times he might have tried it before, and how many times he wasn't caught.

[abortedexecution]

god i have a psychiatrist appointment on friday. i go to the same pychiatrist as when i felt so bad after the appointment i had to go to the washroom and consider cutting my veins because he ignored my suicidal thoughts and told me many stupid things which made me feel even worse and now i dont know what to do my mom wont want to find me another doc but i will be unable to tell him anything i dont even take the meds he prescribed me pls chat help me

[psychabolition]

Forensic psych wards are the worst that prison X psychiatry came up with together. Most people that get locked up there will spend their whole lives being tortured, drugged, violated and abused. a lot of them never get released . People regularly kill themselves in there and suffer brain damage and death because of the medication they get prescribed . over the years and centuries most lose contact to everyone on the "outside" . So tell me again, how psychiatry serves to help us and prisons serve to protect us when so many of us are stigmatized, isolated, oppressed and killed in places like these. Prison abolition 🤝Psych abolition .

[gayorphancannibal]

everyone loves making autism and autism creature and "acoustic" and schizo jokes until an actual autistic or schizophrenic person shows up and all of a sudden they're weird and creepy and gross. Either grow the fuck up or shut your mouth.

[anonymous-gambito]

"Anyway, I think every abuser must surely be a mentally disordered freak like you but also you flap your hands and miss social cues so I see you more like a vulnerable cute little puppy wagging its tail than an actual person but also don't you dare do anything I dislike or shake the assumptions I have of you in any way or else I'll see you as just as bad as all the other disgusting monsters with all the icky Evil Mental Disorders™ and– wait whERE ARE YOU GOING–"

[cadaverskey]

if i'm being entirely honest i find the term "spiritual psychosis" annoying at best. it makes me feel as though i, as someone with schizoaffective disorder, need to work extra hard to "prove" my spiritual beliefs are valid.

here's the thing. my spirituality has always been and will always be flavored and colored by being schizoaffective. even when i was an atheist i could not untangle the two. there's never going to be a way for me to know where the line is drawn between my spiritualism and my psychosis. for example i will probably never shake the idea that i died and was resurrected, and that event holds SIGNIFICANT spiritual meaning for me, even on antipsychotics, even when i can recognize that yes, it's probably the remains of a delusion.

so please tell me, why is it anyone else's business if i incorporate that into my religious practices? it harms no one and gives me one more reason to rejoice. if it started causing actual problems, putting me in danger, causing me distress, bringing along disorganized thinking or anything of the sort, that's when it would be time for me to get help. but really and truly i would not want random people im not close with to tell me to get that help, especially if their only clues into my mental state come from my spiritual practices. i am not a dog to be taken to the vet. sometimes people are psychotic and we exist in your communities and we have religious beliefs and you have GOT to suck it up and allow space for us, however our conditions affect us and our practices.

it's also just. buries my face in my hands. you can just say psychosis, you don't need a special term for it. again it just makes me feel like i'm being singled out and not being taken seriously because there's a long LONG history of psychotic/schizospec people having our mental illnesses used as reason to disregard us. please just mind your business.

[lifenconcepts]

hiiiiiii friendly reminder to not go knocking on strangers doors and running away :)) or just doing that at all :) some of us have sheer paranoia that can render us stressed for time long after the action is done :) because you don’t experience consequences doesn’t mean you’re free to go around doing this like a fucking asshole. :). I know most people who’d listen to this don’t go around doing it but I hope that at least one person reconsiders doing this just to look cool in front of their friends. You don’t seem awesome, you just make it clear your an uncaring asshole and nobody will come to you. I hope karma does its thing. :)

[ed-recoverry]

Shoutout to religious people struggling with mental illness.

Shoutout to all Christian mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Jewish mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Muslim mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Hindu mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Buddhist mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Sikh mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Shintoist mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Taoist mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Zoroastrian mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Shaman mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Confucian mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Baháʼí mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Jain mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Cheondoist mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Caodaist mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Druze mentally ill folks.

Shoutout to all Sarnaist mentally ill folks

Struggling internally and still keeping your faith is something to be proud of. It’s okay to question, waver, and change your mind. Any healthy coping mechanism is a win.

This is not meant to invalidate non-religious mentally ill folks as well! You are also just as valid and loved and worthy.