#fucking help me i need help help me
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#bunny gf#dumb bunny#schizophrenia#psychosis#schizoid#hello kitty#fucking help me i need help help me#please help#send help#hoofprint#pawprint#mydigitalpawprint
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Bonus: the old man (+insp)
#he gon need good health insurance coverage when he reaches the age eligible for pension#i am going to FUCK that senior citizen Logan Howlett#i will be his controversial young gf that helps him out of bed#sorry i read some fanfics of Logan and Wade and it got me acting a FOOOL#marvel#deadpool 3#deadpool and wolverine#wolverine#wolverine x deadpool#deadpool x wolverine#wade x logan#logan x wade#wade wilson#logan howlett#poolverine#ryan reynolds#hugh jackman#gay#lgbt#lgbtq#honda odyssey#nicepool#deadpool#shawn levy
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there's a stranger who sleeps at the foot of your bed
#rotating the first few nights that loop is in the party in my head. argued into sharing a room because its a downpour outside.#only accepts a bedroll. not a bed. (because they don't deserve a bed) because stars don't really need to sleep! it would be silly!#who is this person. who are they to your partner. why do they look at you like that. at him like that. you can't tell what theyre thinking#isat fanart#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time fanart#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat isabeau#isiloop#sloopis#lucabyteart#sifloop#isafrin#isaloop#(help me god thats so many ship tags. have fun interpreting this post your chosen way guys.)#but yeah. had to torment that man again sorry isabeau its just the way it goes. i need to unsettle you as hard as possible thanks#>be me >be 2 months into my relationship at best >still havent kissed the guy >the fucking babadook shows up >tfw
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thinking about jeremy hitting rock bottom his freshman year, losing so much in one disastrous night, the repercussions of which would continue to haunt him for years. thinking about jeremy spiralling so bad cody said they “really thought we were going to lose him for a while there.” cat saying the right therapist can be “life changing”, using jeremy as an example. thinking about how bad jeremy’s crash out must have been, understandably; thinking about his family continuing to blame him for noah’s death—from the coldness of annalise, to the outright antagonism of bryson, to joshua ignoring him for years. the wilshires doing everything in their power to cover up what happened at the banquet rather than lending an ounce of support to a boy who had lost his brother in terrible circumstances, because jeremy was there, because it was so much easier to blame him for all of it. coldblooded, if you ask me. jeremy needed help, not damage control.
thinking about jeremy having probably the worst year of his life, having the opposite of emotional support from his family, and still somehow coming out of it a better person. thinking of all the work he put in to be better and succeeding—i’d rather die than ever be that person again. believe me. despite the hostility of his family system, despite being blamed for the fallout, despite the guilt and heartbreak that “nearly destroyed him”. still jeremy managed to build a new life for himself out of the wreckage, going so far as to be captain of the trojans, with a team who respect and admire him. still he managed to come out of it with such a capacity for kindness and goodness and lifting the people around him up.
thinking about jeremy continuing to be the human embodiment of sunshine despite living in such a cold home that was never forgiving or warm to him. jeremy knox, you will always be loved by me.
#jeremy knox#the golden raven#the golden raven spoilers#aftg#i have so much to say about this boy. like on the one hand his family's connections def helped & he was protected in many ways#yet at the same time any support in the EMOTIONAL sense which he really would have needed was so deeply lacking#like it wasn't even a neutral thing where they were just neglectful & all obviously grieving. no – they all actively blamed him & still do#and instead of offering any support whatsoever jeremy was sent off to rehab to grieve and get through it by himself#and you can see how he still blames himself for it. he's still doing everything to help his family#while they treat him like a waste of space & yeah it makes so sad and frustrated!!!! but yeah.#cody's line talking to jean stopped me cold like FUCK. i can't even imagine how bad it must've been to warrant that comment#anyway…jeremy knox i love u.#all for the game#tgr spoilers#tgr
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18+, yet more vi-shaped brainrot, mndi
yes so we have all considered rugby/college roommate!vi but have we considered waterpolo/childhood bff!vi.
waterpolo!vi who's constantly at the pool, so much so that her sweat even on her gym days smell like chlorine. who will stand in the lockers with nothing but a towel around her waist, water still dripping down her body, tits out, just texting, grinning down at her phone bc she totally doesn't have post notifs on for your instagram... like who does that, right? but damn, you look cute in the little sundress you wore to brunch last sunday with your friends -- she wonders if you'll tell her about it at lunch later today.
waterpolo!vi who's been friends with you since childhood, and you were the one who go her into swimming because that one summer when you were both eight and your mom signed you up for swim-class, you cried for half and hour bc you said you weren't gonna know anyone there. and vi, being the amazing bff and neighbor that she is, of course, volunteered as tribute. she'd never forgotten how much fun it was to play in the shallows with you after the class had ended, splashing at each other, pretending to have a tea-party, sitting criss-cross at the bottom of the sun-soaked water, how you'd pulled your hair out of the swim-cap and let it halo around you in soft, wispy waves.
waterpolo!vi who definitely hasn't told you that she only applied to this uni (on a sports scholarship bc she knew that'd get her in) bc you said it was your top choice. thankfully, it has one of the better waterpolo teams, so you were ecstatic when you found out. who, by then, has definitely figured out that her affection for you is just a bit more than straight up bff status, but she also don't wanna fuck things up with you so she keeps her mouth shut. and really, she asks herself, what's the difference anyway? i mean, you hadn't even blinked when she brought up wanting to sign up for the same freshman dorms. ("of course we are! what, did you think i'd let anyone else be my roommate? gosh, it's like you don't know me at all!")
waterpolo!vi who tries to give you your own space (having practice every single day helps with that tbh), but can't help when her heart skips a lil every time you text her, or every time you post something on social media. she tells herself that it's okay to text back immediately, you've been friends for so long after all, right? that doesn't make her look weird or desperate? right? right.
waterpolo!vi who honestly still gets off to the memory of the one time the pair of you made out drunkenly at a party in high school -- it had been one of those backyard parties where everyone was drinking fucked up jungle juice and things were already a mess when you got there. but you were always down for a good time, and so was she, but somehow, it'd ended up with the pair of you curled up in a dark corner, your legs slung over her lap, her fingers inching up the hem of your spaghetti strap top, all eager, clumsy lips and needy little moans and the taste of your strawberry-mint glitter lipgloss.
waterpolo!vi who definitely tries a bit harder to show off whenever you come to her games, always checking the stands, her face lighting up whenever she spots you in the crowd, waving at her, cheering whenever she makes a goal. afterwards, she'd find flowers tucked into her locker and the rest of the team snickering at how red she's gotten staring at them before she towel-whips the nearest one and tells them all to shut up.
waterpolo!vi who asks you to come to the gym with her, promises it'll be chill and that she won't work you too hard, but nearly short-circuits when you show up in a pair of lululemon shorts and a sports bra, your hair tugged up into a high ponytail, telling her that you got these super cute stickers from a cafe you went to last week and have been meaning to give one of them to her so your water bottles can match. who makes good on her word of not working you too hard, but she definitely suffers in her own workout that day cause she's too busy watching you do squats (she tells herself its to make sure ur form is good but we all know the truth).
waterpolo!vi who freaks out when, on her birthday, the water polo team texts her and tells her to come to the pool house, alone. she thinks it's just another one of their weird pranks, but when the lights click on and you're standing there behind a massive cake with her name hung up behind you in lurid, bright pink blow up balloons, she freezes. and then a there's champagne popping and spraying at her, completely soaking her tanktop, sticking to her skin. you squeal, laughing as you shake a bottle towards her, grinning so wide she thinks her heart might burst.
"surprise! happy birthday!"
"holy shit -- oh yeah! it's my birthday!"
you roll your eyes, dabbing at some champagne that had gotten on your cheek, glancing at a few of the other girls.
"yeah, that's the thing with birthday's vi, they happen every year. and yet somehow every year, i'm the one that remembers its your birthday."
vi just grins, pulling you in to press a fat, wet kiss to your cheek, making you squirm bc she's literally soaked with champagne still, and a few of the girls on the team smirk in her direction when they make eye contact with her, but she only glares at them before going back to watching you fuss about the cake and how many slices to cut it into.
an idea slithers into her head, a truly insidious idea. but fuck it, it's her birthday, and she deserves to have a little fun (and she doesn't think you'll be too mad at her afterwards), so she inches her hand up till it's cradling the back of your head, then shoves your face into the top layer of the cake. you yelp, jerking back with your mouth wide open, icing smeared across your skin. everyone laughs, but vi only grins and wipes a bit of the sweet cream from your cheek, sucking her thumb into her mouth.
"mm delicious, princess. thanks."
you blink at her for a few seconds before sighing, attempting to wipe a bit more of the cake from your face, and falling into a fit of giggles as well.
"whatever, i guess if it makes you that happy," you say, accepting a few napkins from one of the girls on the team. someone else takes over cutting the cake, and a few un-spilled bottles of champagne are already being poured into red solo cups. "i'm gonna go clean up -- be right back."
vi watches you make for the lockers, but someone shoves her towards you. she turns to find several of her teammates motioning furiously in your direction, mouthing go, you fucker, go!
she teeters for a few seconds before jogging after you.
"hey! i'll -- uh -- i'll come with you. since it's my mess too." she laughs, nudging you with her shoulder as she catches up to you.
waterpolo!vi who has to hold her breath when she's helping you wipe cake icing from your face, running a damp towel down your neck, you tilting your head back to give her better access.
"so, how long've you been planning this?" she asks, if only to say something to break the silence.
"not that long -- like a week or so. the cake took the longest -- i wanted to get it from your favorite place on the edge of town, but they don't do deliveries, so i had to go and get it without you knowing, and then figure out where to hide it --"
"oh is that was the 'emergency study sesh' was that you had to run off to this morning was?"
you grin, sheepish as she pulls back to look you over.
"yeah... but i mean -- as long as you liked it! it was worth it, right?"
"oh i loved it, cupcake," she says, casually bopping your nose as she tosses the towel into the big laundry cart for cleaning. she takes a breath, "you're the best friend a girl could ask for, princess."
and she sees it the, the something flicker across your face, a shadow that darkens your eyes for just a second before you look back up at her.
"uhm... about that --"
"hm?" vi turns so fast her neck almost cricks. fuck.
you're staring at her, and she's staring back. there's a moment, like the held-breath between twirling fan-blades.
"i -- uhm -- damn," you look down at your hands, your cheeks suddenly flooding with color, "i had this whole speech prepped and everything --"
vi plops down on locker bench in front of you, tugging your chin back up.
"c'mon, princess. what is it?"
your eyes catch, and vi feels her stomach flip, her heart crawling up the length of her chest to beat, bleating and desperate, at the back of her throat. she can almost taste the metallic thump of it on her tongue.
"i just -- it's --" you twist your fingers in your lap, "i've been meaning to... to tell you for a while but uhm --"
"tell me what?" fuck, her voice comes out so raspy, so needy. she swallows, trying for her usual nonchalance. "you can tell me anything, y'know that right, cupcake?"
you purse your lips, her words seemingly setting you more and more on edge. she leans forward, mesmerized by the pink plumpness caught beneath your teeth. she swipes her thumb along the corner.
"sorry -- missed a spot..." she pulls back, showing you the tiny smear of icing on her finger.
"i like you," you blurt out, the momentum of the words carrying you forward just a bit, and you're gasping when you jerk back, eyes wide, as if you can't believe you'd just said that out loud.
vi freezes.
"oh."
"sorry that was -- i was gonna tell you later tonight -- i had this whole thing planned but -- ugh, there's even a really nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge --"
but vi's kissing you, and holy shit -- vi's kissing you. her hand at the back of your neck, her other hand cupping your cheek, and she's pressing you back so hard you almost stumble off the bench, squeaking in surprise when she nearly hauls you to your feet to press you up against one of the lockers, cushioning your head with a palm.
"v-vi? mmngh --" you gasp, lashes fluttering as she licks her way down your neck, sucking a hard hickey into the skin there, her teeth biting down as she fists her fingers in your hair.
"holy shit -- sorry -- just -- you have no idea how long i've wanted this --"
she pulls back, her pupils blown, and for a second, you wonder if she's drunk -- you wonder if you're drunk because what is happening right now -- but then you remember that neither of you have had anything to drink yet.
"y-you have?"
vi groans, pushing back in to mouth at your lips, "yeah -- sh-shoulda told you earlier but --" she tugs at the strap of your dress, reveling in the tiny little gasping sound you make as she nips at your collarbone.
waterpolo!vi who can't believe this is happening right now -- really, she might be dreaming, but even if she is, whatever. it's the best dream she's had in ages, having you whimpering against her in this empty locker, your fingers digging into her back as she rucks up your skirt.
"fuck princess, if you're joking about this you better tell me now because --"
"i -- i'm not violet, i swear if you stop --"
she keens when she tugs aside your panties and feels your wetness collect on her fingers. she grins, pulling back just far enough to catch your eyes -- they're glazed over with want, and so, so soft. it almost makes her pause, almost.
she pushes forward, sinking a finger into you, groaning at the tightness. your head lolls back against the closed lockers and vi takes the chance to admire you -- the soft sweep of your lashes as your eyes flutter closed, the round o of your mouth as you moan, the tiny crease between your eyebrows as pleasure paints itself by strokes across the delicate features of your face.
"yeah? that feel good, princess?"
"mm -- mhm --" you nod, fervently, looking back down with half-lidded eyes, reaching down to pull vi back towards you for a long kiss. you lick into her mouth, rocking your hips down against her hand. she hisses against you, her mind nearly fizzing out at the way you drop your face into her shoulder, hanging onto her for dear life as she fucks you on her fingers.
waterpolo!vi who misses nearly her entire birthday party for fucking her new girlfriend to pieces in the lockers. not like her teammates didn't know -- sound really carries in that locker room. she knows. they know. you only find out later when the pair of you come back to the party, red-faced and way too disheveled, vi looking way too smug.
"have a good time in there?" one of the girls asks.
vi shrugs, "yeah y'know. just had to make sure she was cleaned up properly."
another girl rolls her eyes, "yeah right. and im sure all the screaming was because you were just doing such a thorough job, right."
vi smirks, "i try."
waterpolo!vi who makes a point of coming back from swim practice with her hair still wet, a towel draped around her shoulders, baggy shorts around her hips, a tight white tank, and nothing else, just because she knows it makes you pause, knows it sets you off. grins when she comes home to drop a kiss to your cheek and you look up, only to swallow, eyes raking down her body.
"gonna jump in the shower, wanna join me?"
you crinkle your nose, glancing back at the group project you were trying to finish with some classmates on zoom.
"uhm -- sorry guys -- i gotta go."
"wait what -- we're supposed to finish this tonight --"
"sorry, there's uh --" you glance back at vi, who's smirking, leaning in your doorway, an eyebrow hitched, "i think my girlfriend burnt the toast in the kitchen -- sorry, bye!"
you hang up the zoom call even as vi scoffs.
"really? i burnt the toast one time."
she tugs you to her for a kiss as you try to walk by her towards the bathroom. you grin against her lips.
"yeah, and it set off the fire alarm for the entire building, remember?"
"mm. yeah, whatever," she mumbles, busying herself with tugging off your sweatshirt as the pair of you stumble into the bathroom.
"how was practice?" you ask, as vi kicks the door closed behind you, jerking off her tank with one hand, kicking it away on the tiled floor before advancing on you with a predatory glint in her eyes.
"it was fine. we did passing and man-up drills. nothing too bad -- shoulders are sore though."
"yeah? you wanna massage after this?"
"mm that does sound nice," vi says, twisting on the shower, jerking her head for you to step in, climbing in after you with a soft, satisfied groan as the hot water hits her aching muscles.
"but for right now," she says, twisting you around and pressing a quick kiss to your lips, "why don't you get on your knees for me, pretty? there's just one more thing i want you to take care of for me before that massage."
you lick your lips, kiss her back, before dropping to your knees with a sweet smile.
"ready for your post-workout?" you ask, blinking up at her with your big, innocent eyes, even as your fingers inch up her thighs, coaxing them apart. vi groans, leaning back against the cool shower tiles.
"holy fuck yeah."
#⛈ monsoon season#clearly i have some kind of hangup/obsession with college sports vi like we are just.... cycling thru this shit at this point oh my god#vi x reader#arcane x reader#vi smut#arcane smut#holyyyyy shit 2.7k words ohhhh my god lskdjfasd LOL like no this is unhEALTHY at this point i need HELP#i love childhoodbffs to lovers so much and it's just so much fun to think about all the fucking mutual pining#i also love mutual pining can you tell.#vi x you#arcane x you#vi arcane smut#vi x reader smut#arcane x reader smut#vi x y/n#arcane x y/n#arcane#lesbian#wlw fanfic#this has so little to do with waterpolo im so sorry i know nothing about sports okay#the only sports i've ever done/know anything about is figure skating and ballet sldkfjsod i just know that waterpolo girlies are BUILT DIF#also swimmer!vi pulling herself up out of the pool with water just dripping off her????? GOD HELP ME.#♨ steamy
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FoM (fields of memes (pt1))
#aka i fuck around w rendering n coloring all day long :P#or just expel the ideas that have haunted me for a week#ive got a lot more of em help#fields of mistria#fom march#fom hayden#fom valen#fom holt#fom dell#my art#guys the fixation sure do be hyper or whatever#i need to like. slow down a little before i run myself into the ground 😭#dragging my ass away from my desk to watch jjba is what ive been trying#anyways do you like my shoe hcs for holt n dell :3c
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be sirius / i am wild
this is dedicated to @messrsrarchives <33
#hp#marauders#Sorry but i just randomly thought of that les mis quotr and thats quite possible the funniest caption i could have made so i had to do it#Sirius black#Sirius black fanart#marauders fanart#My art#marauders era#Started this while listening to robyns podcast finished it while watching robyns live#This is a fuck you post cause i needed it#Also thanks to indi for explaining noise filters to me#and thank you to everyone helping me decide if i should go for noise or texture with this one
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“Mistakes on mistakes until” ch 69 spoilers below!



Ahahahahahahah here I go again
Mistakes on mistakes until until I can draw Jazz with my eyes closed
I woke up, checked my phone, woke up for real and decided that whatever plans I had for this day yeah no they can wait a little bit kfkgnfk
Also. Consider listening this while reading. Or don't who am I to tell you what to do~
#maccadam#transformers#Jazz#Meister#Starscream#L I S T E N#I THINK#The “Jazz” is a hologram and “Meister” is the Real Jazz#because yeah It totally makes sense. Soundwave touched Meister so Meister must be real. And Hound could just create the hologram of Jazz#but....b u t#I can't stop thinking that there's might be something more#like...Hound wasn't exactly wery well hidden. For the love of god STArScream saw him and talked about him#and we all know than Soundwave is a fucking all seeing eye of Sauron when it comes to watching suspicious activity#I...fuckin...listen ok#Meister's plan with second Jazz is so damn clever bc it would literally show to Soundwave how Jazz and Meister can stand in the same room#but I can't help but feel that Sounders is inevitably going to discover Hound and unlike Starscream he surely knows what Hounds “thing” is#or maybe I'm just paranoid. .#maybe Jazz..I mean Meister knows something I don't#i mean duh of course he does#augh I need to stop before by brain spins itself to shreds#This fic made me overthink every detail with double intensity haha#Also. ALSO. We might see the confrontation between Meister and Jazz I feel. we might. it makes me want to giggle for some reson kgkgkg#fic fanart#momu fanart
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it better be,,,,the SUNNIEST FUCKING DAY
#kevin#kevin please#if one or both of them dies#or if they just plainly dont interact#i will be on international news#they will need to put that FUCKING RUSSO on WATCH#mcu#marvel#avengers doomsday#loki#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#thor#thor odinson#thor and loki#so help me god
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#schizophrenia#schizoposting#psychosis#schizoid#hello kitty#fucking help me i need help help me#please help#send help#hoofprint#cnc stalking#obsession#obsessive yandere#actually obsessive#obsessive love#obsessive thoughts#obslove#obsessivecore
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yeah sorry i gave your ragdoll moral ocd. yeah i know i already gave her ocd before. yeah i just gave her scrupulosity too. sorry
#tadc#the amazing digital circus#tadc ragatha#tadc zooble#my art#ask to tag#ragatha immediately going oh god zooble thinks im a bad person now and they hate me FUCK!!!!#(she is managing to reassurance seek without even realizing shes doing that <3)#just so its clear btw zoobles fine. literally nothing they would say here would actually help her (bc anything would be feeding it)#what she NEEDS is therapy but erm. uh. well...#anyway yeah sorry i keep talking abt ragatha having ocd. ill draw a different character having ocd later#but my moral ocd was haunting me and i decided to make ragatha deal with it instead
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i need to talk about the bad kids and the weight they carry from their parents. because all of them have baggage, whether they know it or not, and it's high time we had a conversation about it.
we all know kristen and adaine's parents fucked them up, but the truth, and maybe this is an immutable truth about the world and all worlds in general, is that every kid bears the weight of their parents' expectations on their shoulders. sometimes the burden is well-disguised; sometimes the pressure is mitigated by a loving relationship — but there's always baggage, and the bad kids are all so used to dragging it along that they don't even realize they're carrying it.
fabian's is easy to recognize. not a day goes by that fabian doesn't think of his father. of what his dad, his treasured papa, not only wanted but expected of him. fabian grew up under the pressure to write your name on the face of the world, to become not just good but Great, to be more than a man — to become a legend, maximum legend, to get it tattooed onto your neck so you never forget your goal, because this is the only way to make your father proud and maybe if you're just like him then your mother will decide to be your mother again. she promised to be better and then she abandoned you. she failed you completely in every way imaginable and her solution was to try again. maybe this child will grow up with a loving mother. maybe she'll get it right this time. but not fabian. fabian doesn't get love, he gets pride, and there's only one way to ensure that his parents are proud.
fig is staggering under the immutable knowledge that she was the catalyst to her parents' divorce. that all of this could have been avoided if she had just never been born. she has so much anger, and it started out directed towards sandra lynn, but now she knows it's anger towards herself, for daring to exist, for ruining a marriage and a life by the crime of being born. poor gilear, saddled with the knowledge that his only daughter isn't even his. and yeah, her mom is a fuckup, but at least that's because of choices she made. fig would have to be in control of her actions to be a fuckup - instead she keeps BEING controlled, from the Dominate Person that led her to nearly sacrifice riz down to the very simple act of being the unplanned child of an affair. she's worse than a fuckup: she's a curse. a plague. and all three of her parents would have been better off if she'd never existed.
wilma and digby thistlespring tried so hard to raise a happy kid. they didn't believe in the stereotypes about half-orcs. not our kid, they said. how could a child of ours be angry? but gorgug is so angry sometimes, and he barely has the language to explain that, much less the skills to manage those emotions. he was so loved, so doted upon, and he tried his best to be the gentle giant, but somewhere along the way he failed, and his parents had no plan for a system malfunction. why would they? wilma and digby never met a bad feeling they couldn't sing their way out of. gorgug could be like that, too, if he tried. if he put his mind to it. it's his fault that he can't keep his rage under wraps. and his parents love him, but they don't understand him, and that hurts them. gorgug is hurting them. the very nature of his being hurts them. he tries to mold himself into the shape of a perfect son, but like everything else in his life, it doesn't fit - he can't give them what they want; he can't become what they devoted all this time to nurturing. he is big and brash and bubbling over with rage sometimes, despite all of his parents' best efforts to teach him temperance and good-naturedness and how to be small, smaller than your body can be, how to tuck in your limbs and take shallow breaths so your bed doesn't break again (again, again, again) and he tries and he tries. it's never enough. he will never be the perfect son, so maybe there's no point in trying at all.
and riz. sklonda. look, how could he not be just like his dad? dad was a badass secret agent, the kind of person riz could only dream of being. he doesn't want to scare mom, but why shouldn't he want to be like dad? except sklonda is scared. she raised him, terrified of what would happen when he learned the truth. his rock, his confidant, his second-best friend (let's be honest, maybe first) — he can't worry her. she has enough on her plate; he can't be a problem for mom. so riz gets really good at taking care of himself. when she can't make it home for dinner, riz knows how many minutes the freezer dinner needs in the microwave. when she can't pick him up from school, riz knows where the nearest bus stop is. and he can't stop solving mysteries, but he can reassure her that he's safe, whether or not it's true — because she needs him to be safe, and riz can't be a problem. he has to be fine. he makes a living being fine. sure, he's in jail for months for a crime he didn't commit, but he's fine. he got kidnapped and almost ritually sacrificed, but he's fine now, mom. i saw dad and he was tortured within an inch of his celestial life and i was almost killed in Hell, but it's fine, mom, because dad is an angel, how cool is that? the important thing is that sklonda can always count on her boy. she can trust him to understand adult things, like the fact that they're poor, and that her demotion might spell bad things for riz's future, and his only shot now is to have a really beefed up transcript so he can maybe get good scholarships, and yeah, that's a lot — god, that's a lot, on top of the harrowing mystery unfolding this year — but. riz is fine.
there's a freedom in hating your parents, in knowing unequivocally that they were bad at being parents, perhaps bad at being people at all. everyone agrees that the abernants were vile, disgusting examples of people at all, much less parental figures. nobody is leaping to the applebees' defense. they failed their children, and their children owe them nothing.
but fabian, fig, gorgug, riz — it's harder when you love the people who raised you. it gets to feeling like the problem is you. like if you were different, if you were better, if you tried a little harder or did something a little differently, then things would be perfect, and that weight you stagger under would go away. if fabian weren't so sentimental. if fig weren't a tiefling. if gorgug weren't so angry. if riz weren't so reckless. you love your parents, and you owe them everything, and this is the least you could do. so why aren't you doing it? why can't you? why are you carrying this weight in the first place?
these four have parents who love them. but that doesn't mean their parents can't also have hurt them. it's inevitable; you grow past the expectations of your parents, and then into something new, something entirely your own, but the bad kids are still growing. they are loved. but they are burdened. both things can be true.
#stuff#i am so normal......i am soooo fucking normal..............#dimension 20#d20#fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#fhjy#adaine abernant#kristen applebees#fabian seacaster#fig faeth#gorgug thistlespring#riz gukgak#sklonda and riz make me feel batshit crazy like im losing my grip on reality genuinely need medicine help me#and GORGUG. GORGUG. FUCKIGN GORGUG THISTLESPRING. i am UNWELL. pounding thr walls of my prison cell#fantasy high meta#d20 meta
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Something I need people to understand, especially able-bodied people but I've gotten this from other disabled folk as well, is that yeah I could be doing more, but oftentimes I have to choose between doing what's required of me and what's good for me.
Yeah, I probably could get all of my schoolwork done no problem, but I'm so exhausted after just going to school that doing anything more than lying in bed for a few hours would cost me. Can I physically get up? Yeah, I do when my parents demand it of me, but it's not good for me.
I've tried doing more, I've tried pushing myself to do the things that I need to get done, it just doesn't work. I'll just be even more exhausted, I'll just be in more pain, and it's not fair.
Please stop reminding me of my "potential". Please stop telling me that I'm "not trying my hardest". I know that. Sometimes my hardest is hard on me.
#actually disabled#disability#chronic fatigue#chronic pain#disabilties#i am so tired y'all#i took a several hour nap#then had to go to the store#now I'm doing homework#the nap didn't help by the way#i still need to shower ugh#if one more person tells me i could be trying harder#i'm gonna lose my shit#I KNOW THAT#IT'S EXHAUSTING AS IT IS#FUCK OFF
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I just love giving them the sleep they deserve
#tfw ur girlfriend lives in a fucking aquarium#if the writers weren’t gonna let ‘em nap together then so help me god I will#I needed a break from the fucking behemoth wedding portrait I was doing of them#it is…….. my stupidest decision yet but I forge on#dragon age veilguard#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#rookanis#lucanis x rook#datv#rook#lucanis dragon age#rook mercar#vivienne rook mercar#rook dragon age#my art
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i cant get over the ball being so CLEARLY all for crowley i can't get over aziraphale trying to woo him with a WHOLE FUCKING BALL because that's what he knows that's what romance IS for him because he's been wanting to dance with crowley ever since dancing was invented and he's so stuck in time with the way he dresses and talks and he still thinks a dance is the high of romance AND HE MADE A WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING BALL FOR CROWLEY JUST SO HE COULD DANCE WITH HIM like now it's so fucking obvious he gave away his BOOKS without a second thought and it was all for crowley he organised a whole JANE AUSTEN THEME BALL just so he could have an excuse to finally dance with the love of his life and i can't get over this i'm shaking my fists and pacing up and down he did not give a single fuck about anything other than dancing with crowley and HE BARELY TOUCHED OTHER PEOPLE'S HANDS WHILE HIS WHOLE FUCKING PALM WAS PRESSED TO CROWLEY'S AND i need to lie down
#im actually not okay im never getting over this#this was actually the most romantic thing to ever happen on television prove me wrong you can't#no because he spent CENTURIES reading about and witnessing and orchestring romances and he's been wanting to living in them WITH CROWLEY al#this fucking time and crowley rescuing his books was the most romantic thing that ever happened to him and in return HE GAVE AWAY THE BOOKS#HE LOVES SO FUCKING MUCH FOR CROWLEY AND OH GOD OH JESUS#how am i still not normal about this show im literally box breathing and my heart is fucking POUNDING from a SHOW i cant i just cant#i need psychiatric help#good omens#good omens s2#azicrow#crowley#aziraphale#aziracrow#ineffable spouses#good omens season 2#ineffable husbands#go s2
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An extremely embarrassing screencap redraw for both me and Sanji
#one piece#sanji#POV you are pudding and you have the worst taste in men imaginable#descriptions in alt text#I need to draw this from Zoro's POV too and he's just a drowned fucking rat#edit: HELP ME WHY WOULDN'T IT LOAD HASDMGSDHG
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