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cullenbluewrites · 10 hours ago

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Hello! Remember me? Hi, happy new year. I have returned because recently thought of a TF Animated version of this specific brand of shenanigans.

Basically, Sari, being part Cybertronian herself, would probably be able to make Sparkling Distress Cries™ with zero effort (I’m thinking of this pre-reveal so they don’t know she’s Cybertronian). Would this give the autobots the mechanical equivalent of an aneurysm? Probably. Would it have devastating effects on the Decepticons (who have not seen newsparks since LONG before their banishment)? Absolutely. Does Sari use this power responsibly? Fuuuuck no.

* She does it at the constructicons (who have never even heard of a sparkling) and the autobots come to the rescue… only to find the two cons on the floor begging her to stop the guilt is killing them. If they were human they’d be crying inconsolably.

* Lugnut’s reaction was a shocker. She did it at him mid battle (he was just about to use The Punch) and he just freezes, then VERY SLOWLY lowers himself down in an attempt to seem non threatening and tries to soothe what he has decided is a very strangely shaped sparkling (and not a frame walker because he is NOT dealing with that. No thank you Unicron).

* Blackarachnia doesn’t really know how to handle the situation. She’s quietly trying to sooth Sari and also trying to check if the child is a fellow techno organic as gently and politely as she can. (The fact she was correct is an irony not lost on any of team prime).

* Blitzwing was also caught mid fight, and he just flat out panicked. He just instinctively scooped Sari up and tried to shuffle away from the battlefield/out of danger while Sari continued to make ‘I’m being murdered’/‘this is the scariest moment of my life’ sounds. Blitz honestly looks like he’s gone into shock, all three faces are Alarmed™. The Autobots drop their weapons and have to cajole the panicked triple changer into please giving them THEIR sparkling back. He eventually does and then books it. Sari appreciated that his first instinct was to try protecting her at least.

* Starscream (mid battle, naturally) seems to quite loudly go through all the different stages of grief (while panicking), before just nopenopeNOOOPE-ing his way out of there. He doesn’t know how to deal with this and it’s making him feel a lot of emotions. And maybe a bit depressed? And you know what maybe the clones he planned on making shouldn’t be used as disposable soldiers, they deserved more than that, they came from him after all! Frag it he’s starting a seeker colony on that uninhabited red planet nearby and NO HE DOES NOT HAVE EMPTY NEST SYNDROME shut up.

* Shockwave, if he encountered her, would just be like “huh. Fellow shapeshifter, but small and very young”, move her to once side (near a food source, he’s a professional and he has standards) and continue on his way.

* Megatron feels immensely conflicted about the whole situation. He doesn’t particularly like the fact this organic? (he’s pretty sure that’s an organic. Maybe. Maybe not) is somehow able to sound like a newborn in apparently excruciating pain. He also wants to at least try and sooth it, which is a weird sensation. This is a strange situation, he’s not used to this. He’s… he’s going to call a tactical retreat. This is giving him a processor ache now.

The result back in the Decepticon base is Prof Sumdac watching the constructions having a mental breakdown, Megatron nursing a headache and asking him where the pit he got his progeny from, a rather baffled looking Lugnut, and Blitzwing depressed in the corner because he ended up also getting empty nest syndrome and is handling it badly. Sumdac feels a bit sorry for them.

——

Bonus is her doing it at the Elite Guard to fuck with them. She makes a series of Pissed Off Sparkling chitter at them (aka the ‘leave my guardians the pit alone’ noises). Ultra Magnus just blue screens for a minute or two because What? Jazz backs off but emphatically requests an explanation because organics shouldn’t be able to do that, right? Right? The Jettwins pause for a moment, before deciding to Not Question It™ and chitter back at her. Sentinel shrieks “Frame Walker!!” and runs away screaming. Bumblebee seizes his moment and proceeds to chase him around with her. Optimus… doesn’t have it in him to stop them. This is karma.

I got the image of the Jack, Miko and Rafael learning to imitate Distressed/terrified Sparkling cries and using them against the decepticons. It’s a very efficient defense mechanism. Every cybertronian who heard them is freaking out because oh primus how is the squishy thing making that noise and I gotta protect it at all costs. The sheer chaos that would ensue as the ‘protect/rescue the sparkling’ programming kicks in full force.

——

The vehicons are clustered at the other end of the room panicking. They don’t know what to do. The human sparklings are looking right at them and making distress noises. The guilt is killing them.

Knockout going “is the car form less alarming?! If I turn into a car will you stop seeing me as the threat?!”

Breakdown is having a breakdown.

Starscream pinned to the wall on the other side of the room having an internal crisis. He doesn’t like this. Make it stop.

Soundwave makes no noise but you can FEEL the sheer distress radiating off of him.

Megatron is frozen. No thoughts, head empty. He’s not moving at all. He doesn’t know how to handle this.

——

The autobots have mixed feelings about this. They’re glad the kids have a way of defending themselves but please don’t do it near them. They’re stressed out enough as it is.

(This might sound kinda dumb but I thought it was kinda funny. Very tired while writing this)

Wait no this is actually brilliant.

The Decepticons never anticipated their long buried parental nature to be used against them. No one did. But they day the human children turned up on the battlefield looking far too confident, every Bot and Con present had the all encompassing feeling that something was terribly wrong. Their suspicions were quickly confirmed when, before the Decepticons could do much of anything to get the relics they were after, Rafael began to wail.

Normally, human screams meant nothing. But there was a certain pitch that sounded so close to a cry of distress from a sparkling that, to warriors who had not heard a sparkling in millennia, it was enough to send them running to help. In this case, the issue was only compounded as the children scattered like mice and started making the same noises. The Decepticons could hardly focus on the Autobots booking it to the relics as they frantically tried to locate the fictitious sparklings calling for aid.

The Vehicons managed to get to Jack, but he just kept looking up at them defiantly. Every time one of the dozen or so Vehicons on the field tried to grab him, blast him, or otherwise hurt him, Jack would chirp like a sparkling and send all of them scurrying back. It wasn't cute to the Vehicons. Having never seen actual sparklings but still having the coding needed to adore them, they looked at Jack and saw a weird frame-walker. They weren't sure what to do about it except try to haul themselves away while also keeping a vague circle around the human male.

Miko on the other hand made it a point to chase after Megatron and Soundwave, screeching like a sparkling about to be shredded. Neither stopped for her, but Megatron completely lost his train of thought every time that screech rang out. He could have been aiming at Optimus with a perfect head shot and he would be unable to fire as Miko's distressed sounds rang out in his audials. He KNEW she wasn't a sparking. His coding wasn't even that strong. But by Primus, hearing her screech was the same as watching a civilian get run over by a bus, repeatedly. Focus was impossible.

Soundwave wasn't much better. He didn't react outwardly, but the slowing of his steps and the way he tried to sidestep Miko gave away his distress. He avoided her like the plague, trying to refocus but being unable to really get far as Miko screamed like a demon. It was a fight against the Unmaker himself to keep Soundwave from bolting over to collect the sparkling who sounded so very upset.

Rafael, for his part, followed Miko's lead and harassed the other three members of High Command most often found out on the field. Breakdown ran screaming the moment Rafael started chirping at him. This was both out of fear of the frame-walker and to escape the inevitable overreaction of his coding. He may or may not have attempted parkour once or twice to get as far away from the smallest of the humans as possible.

Knockout tried to ignore Rafael when the kid chirped up at him, he really really did. But how does one ignore the Cybertronian equivalent of a soaking wet kitten meowing up at you? Simply put: you don't. Knockout gave in and quickly dropped down to try and soothe the non-existent sparkling every. single. time. Rafael pulled his noise trickery. He never fails to panic and attempt to flash colorful things at Rafael to get him to stop. Every Decepticon has since been endlessly disappointed in him.

Starscream, being terrified of things that really shouldn't be there, took the skies the instant the trio began screeching. Nope. Not today Unicron. He'll get the mission done or get the heck out of dodge to avoid coding coming online. He doesn't need empty nest syndrome on top of a crippling case of "I Love Power." He also doesn't need to deal with the horrific mental image of a squishy somehow managing to sound like a sparkling. Nope. Nope. NOPE.

The Autobots are grateful the kids can protect themselves a bit now. But by Primus, they have known NO peace since the kids figured it all out.

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