#fucking medical trauma

[queerlyloud]

Yall, medical trauma is wild as hell. My PCP asked me the basic MS diagnostic questions at our appointment on Thursday after I told her about the pain in my spine that woke me up out of a sleep induced by tizanidine AND meclizine. Like I should have been dead to the world for 8-10 hours, but the pain was so bad it woke me from that heavy a sleep and was so intense that I was in too much shock to move for more than 2 minutes after I woke up. Literally paralyzed by the pain.

Anyway, I told her about that and about how even though I told the neurologist I was referred to that, he only had an MRI done on my head, neck, and upper vertebrae , with absolutely none done of my middle or lower spine, despite those being my primary pain centers. So my PCP immediately booked me for x-rays of my spine so that a full spine MRI would be approved by my shitty work insurance.

I have every single symptom of PPMS, all I need is for an MRI to catch lesions on my spine so they can do the tap and identify the inflammation in my spine that shows up in every single blood work I've had done in the past 5 years.

I might finally get my diagnosis.

But instead of being excited and happy, my brain is instead choosing to have me pre-experience the depression I will feel if they don't spot any lesions on the MRI.

Fml 🙃

[ronkeyroo]

I'll 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 through concrete Past the dirt and through the cracks There will be 𝙣𝙤 surface that keeps me down

[iaminsideyourwalls]

i'm thinking of posting more (censored for tumblr) "spicy" pieces, what do you guys think?

[vzgxizv]

desire.

desire.

desire.

+ blood version

🥸

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Please take kids seriously they are actually people. sentient intelligent beings believe it or not. they know when they’re being blatantly lied to.

They might not understand it, but they know when grownups are being shady.

They know.

Please stop acting like it’s inconsequential if you lie to them or ignore them or dismiss their thoughts and feelings. It’s not. It stays with them forever.

Please take kids seriously.

[ratbastarddotfuck]

Tumblr terf: *telling me I trust the medical system "way too much" bc I don't think elective hysterectomies are evil*

Me: *laughs in disabled, chronically ill, fat transmasc*

[repeatdeath]

there are so many possibilities when it comes to other symptoms of HJ7 that isnt told to us and i cannot stop thinking about it

vomiting, distorted vision, twitching, breathing problems, increased appetite, muscle numbness, false memories, auditory hallucinations, increased heart beat, hypersensitivity, lack of sensitivity, stretch marks, damaged vocal chords, memory loss, increased blood loss, swollen muscles, tics, abnormal pain, poor circulation, dizziness, nose bleeds, peeling skin, weight loss

[ontheoutside-lookingin]

Clinical misdiagnosis is more common than self misdiagnosis. Just for the record, in case anyone is still skeptical of self diagnosis :) it’s not up for debate btw

[ink-blot-thoughts]

Okay just played the Sigewinne quest and hear me out: mildly more evil Sigewinne AU (cause fuck you fight me she is terrifying) where the only doctor willing to teach a melusine was THE Doctor.

Il Dottore gets accosted by the world's cutest psychopath demanding he teaches her and goes "Oh this is gonna be fucking hilarious".

Cue Dottore's dramatic corvid themed ass striding up to commit the horrors tm while a cutie patootie little melusine skips behind him giggling at everything.

People go from "omg did he kidnaps that girl?!?!" To "dear fucking god she's worse" the second she opens her mouth.

The Harbingers have to go through the mortifying ordeal of anytime they mention their terrifying Doctor, people go "Oh Yes I've heard of Dottore", and they sigh and go no... her and take out a picture of a chubby faced girl with bunny ears.

Her world lore is every horrifying experiment of Dottore's has some adorable little sticker attached.

[kaiserouo]

[crimeronan]

another Vital AU hunter-and-camila thought from this morning was a thought of, like. camila very very very gently and carefully explaining that she'd like luz to get a basic physical done by a doctor in the human realm, because luz has not been seen by a human doctor since she was four and is overdue for ten million vaccines and desperately needs bloodwork to check her vitamin and thyroid levels, etc, etc, etc, and hunter is like. visibly freaked out and upset by this. bc he is SO afraid of strangers hurting luz.

anyway. that's all pretty much expected, on account of The Horrors.

what got me in my feelings was the thought of camila telling hunter that she has a lot of the same worries, and that she Knows not all human healers have good intentions, and that she Promises she'll take that into account when finding one for luz. because she does not want luz to get hurt.

hunter, naturally, is like "how.... do you know that....?" and camila is like ay dios mio. HOW do i explain medical racism or the united states..... to a boy.... with no concept of racism or the united states.....

[sprinkleofquirk]

I’m so tired of being honest about my pain level and having no one believe me because I don’t show pain the way they expect

[liddolwitch]

I had... a lot of medical trauma that I could tell was building up but I wasn't feeling. Compartmentalizing and all. New song about Viktor released and uhhhh I found where I had stashed those feelings.

(Might spend an hour or two sobbing). Holy fuck the subject matter has ended up coinciding with my medical stuff so often.

Really feeling Viktor's storyline a lot more after the whole almost dying (multiple times) thing.

So much I need to explore in journaling about :

Fear of being a 'bad' person at the worst of my symptoms

Fear over letting other people decide to stay or leave

The realization that it's not actually all fine and okay for me to go through all my medical stuff alone (especially when I have a long-term partner)

What my body means to me (positive, negative, expression, pain, others' perceptions, etc.)

The grief over things other than death in disability. New fears, experiences others might not share, new perspectives on taboo topics

What it means that I've become a different person as my disability has shaped my experiences, my identity, my social circle... everything.

[moonshynecybin]

would LOVE to hear anything more about cryptic pregnancy au if you want to share! lowkey i think about it at least once a day

trying to pinpoint the exact moment everybody ELSE figures it out is my favorite funny little mindpalace atm. you’d have dudes on reddit posting conspiracy theory boards like it’s the kennedy assassination

[justaregularken]

Doctor taking advantage of your lack of medical knowledge to push your body and abuse it as they please 🤧🤧

[chronicsymptomsyndrome]

Can we go ahead and normalize medicine? Taking pills in front of people? Taking pills in public and not getting weird looks? Using alternative medicines or anything other than pills and not being treated like a novelty? Fucking please because first of all literally everyone takes medicine of some kind at some point in life okay and second of all people need medicine to live it’s a thing it’s pretty common and people need to be in public for a lot of reasons actually so can we please