#my immune system has already incorrectly attacked one of my internal organs

[queerlyloud]

Yall, medical trauma is wild as hell. My PCP asked me the basic MS diagnostic questions at our appointment on Thursday after I told her about the pain in my spine that woke me up out of a sleep induced by tizanidine AND meclizine. Like I should have been dead to the world for 8-10 hours, but the pain was so bad it woke me from that heavy a sleep and was so intense that I was in too much shock to move for more than 2 minutes after I woke up. Literally paralyzed by the pain.

Anyway, I told her about that and about how even though I told the neurologist I was referred to that, he only had an MRI done on my head, neck, and upper vertebrae , with absolutely none done of my middle or lower spine, despite those being my primary pain centers. So my PCP immediately booked me for x-rays of my spine so that a full spine MRI would be approved by my shitty work insurance.

I have every single symptom of PPMS, all I need is for an MRI to catch lesions on my spine so they can do the tap and identify the inflammation in my spine that shows up in every single blood work I've had done in the past 5 years.

I might finally get my diagnosis.

But instead of being excited and happy, my brain is instead choosing to have me pre-experience the depression I will feel if they don't spot any lesions on the MRI.

Fml 🙃