#fake exchange

[spamreports]

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[irregularjohnnywiggins]

You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?

[justaphantomhuman]

DP Valentine's Core Exchange

For @murcielagatito! I hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoyed drawing them!!!

Thanks to @valentines-core-exchange for hosting this event :D!!

[milowren29]

I'm a little late sharing this here, but I contributed a little early festive cheer to the @anywhere-with-you-event!

Fake It Till We Make It

Prompt - Starter Line: The first time Henry got on his knees for Alex, it was an accident.

Bonus Prompt - Antlers!

---

The first time Henry got on his knees for Alex, it was an accident.

It never would have happened if it weren’t for the strict “partners only” rule that Alex’s company had for its annual holiday party. One of the biggest perks of working in the legal department for a major entertainment company was the huge fancy party they put on each year, and Alex had been planning to bring his best friend, Henry, since practically the day he was hired. The two of them had already been talking about it for months by that point.

So, really, the only option Alex was left with was subterfuge.

---

For @orchidscript whose prompts inspired me to write this fluffy holiday fake dating adventure! Thank you to you and the AWY mods for putting this event together! :)

[festivetopgun2024]

(un)wanted advances by winterbucky (@spacewinter)

for wordsonamission (@wordsonamission)

Ship: Tom "Iceman" Kazansky/Pete "Maverick" Mitchell

Rating: E

Word Count: 5,053

Summary: 

It's not exactly rare for men to hit up on Mav while in a queer bar, and it's not exactly rare for those men not to take 'no' for an answer. Thankfully, Maverick can always count on his wingman to come to his rescue - even if the 'rescue' is pretending to be Mav's boyfriend and doing his best to sell the act. Only, somewhere along the way, it stops being an act, as very real feelings finally come to light. And well - all's well that ends well, right? or fake dating to save mav from a creep turned getting together after years of pining

[See previous Fake Dating Fic.]

[Top Gun 🌞Secret 🎅Fake Dating Fic Exchange Collection]

[sinni-ok-sessi]

the extreme sport of explaining to my parents about the logistical challenges of the NiF exchange without having to explain that I write stories about fictional characters kissing on the internet

[g8d]

low-key i hate being apl because i think it makes me be kind of a leech socially.

like if i cant help you then i don't know why im talking to you. its not personal, i just have no concept of being friends for the sake of it.

but i still need social interaction so when people show interest in me, its not like i push them away? and idk how to let them know that even tho i care about their wellbeing, i kinda don't really care about making an effort to keep them *in my life* specifically. so they're caught by surprise if something comes up and im just willing to let the relationship fall away if it seems like too much to reconcile. ive cultivated skill and interest in conflict resolution, but im still not super motivated to explain my position to people if they're too far off from where im at.

[raineandsky]

#34

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

The villain can see the hero, just about, crossing the dingy basement car park. The lacklustre lighting throws them into silhouette, only recognisable by the stupid gait they always carry themself with, undeservedly confident.

“[Villain],” they open, their voice raised slightly to echo across the empty space, but the villain doesn’t give them the time of day. They shove their arm into the bag at their side, yanking their trusty pistol from the side pocket.

“Unlike you to wanna meet here. Figured you’d be scared of me keying your car.”

“I am, but my car’s not here.” They’re almost in front of the villain, and the barrel raises slightly to follow them. “I just wanted to talk.”

“You wanted to talk,” they echo disbelievingly. “What the hell would you want to talk about that doesn’t end with us both trying to kill each other?”

“Put the gun down, [Villain], jeez.” The hero finally pauses in front of them, letting out the deepest sigh the villain has ever heard from them. There’s a moment of deliberation, but they lower it slightly, just enough so that it’s not pointing in their nemesis’s face. “I would understand if you hated this idea and tried to kill me afterwards, though.”

The villain raises their eyebrows. “You’re coming to me with an idea that will make me want to kill you? Do tell.”

“It’s… it’s my parents.” The hero avoids the villain’s gaze to ignore the incredulous expression blatantly adorning their face. “I was stupid. They keep asking if I’m dating anyone, and it’s been incessant, and in the heat of the moment I just said I was. They know all the heroes—they’d know immediately I’m not actually with any of them.”

“Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.”

“I just need you to work with me for one evening. Come to my parents house, say hi, have a civil dinner with them. We can get back to kicking each other’s asses next day.”

The villain crosses their arms, careful not to accidentally pull the trigger on themself. “And I would do this for you because…?”

“Ach, I don’t know,” the hero says quietly as if they hadn’t considered this. “I guess free food? I’ve seen you in the back of the restaurant before, and–”

“Okay!” the villain cuts across them suddenly. “Okay, stop talking. I will come, only for the free food, and I will go straight back to trying to kill you the moment it’s over, alright?”

The hero practically beams. “That’s perfect. You do have to be civil to my parents if you want the food, though. They’ll just kick us out if you’re an ass.”

The villain tsks in annoyance. “Typical.”

-

“Okay, if they ask what you do, you’re just as normal as any civilian.”

The two of them are sitting in the hero’s car on the driveway. The villain hadn’t been particularly set on the idea of voluntarily getting into a hero’s car, but they’d insisted. Their parents would doubt their relationship if they didn’t turn up in the same car, apparently.

“Did you bring your gun?”

The villain shifts so that the back of their jacket sits more smoothly over the top of their jeans. “No.”

“[Villain].”

“Okay, fine, jeez.” They pull their pistol out with an annoyed tut, shoving it into the glovebox. “Happy now?”

“Yeah. I don’t need you trying to shoot up my parents, thanks.” The hero pushes their door open, stepping into the cool evening air. “Come on then.”

The villain mirrors them on the other side as they go to the front door. The house is nice, very nice, much nicer than they could afford. A nice house must have some nice possessions. Maybe they can get something out of this trip.

They join the hero as they ring the doorbell. “Now, please remember to be nice.” They turn to give the villain a smile. “My parents are getting on now, and the last thing they need is a heart attack caused by you.”

“Sure thing.” The villain smirks a little evilly, and the hero’s smile decidedly turns less confident.

Both of them drop the act as the door swings open. “[Hero]!” the man at the door greets cheerfully, wrapping the hero in a tight hug before giving the villain a once over. “Oh, you must be the one they’ve been talking about. Please, come inside, we’re so excited to meet you.”

The villain flashes the hero a grin as they step inside, and they get an expression that screams regret in return.

The dinner is impossible to lie about—it’s delicious. The hero’s mother’s entrance is accompanied by a tray of potatoes as she lays it amongst the other vegetables for the roast she’s made. The three of them make light small talk until she sits down, and then it’s into the deep water.

The two of them probe as subtly as they can about the villain’s life. The hero pushes them in the right direction by giving them a light kick here and there, which the villain delightedly rewards them for by saying completely the wrong thing, much to the hero’s dismay. Their parents share surprised glances every-so-often, but they do a grand job of feigning neutral interest. 

Eventually the villain decides they need their payment for this evening. “Excuse me, everyone,” they say innocently as they get to their feet. “I just need to use the bathroom.”

The hero’s father points them down the hall, and with a grateful smile they’re out of the dining room and off into the house.

(Part 2)

[caterjunes]

reeeaaally really empathizing hard w/ rots anakin right now. like. oh yeah ok i get it. he's been sleep-deprived & running w/ a high level of stress hormones nonstop for months. he keeps asking for advice and help and the jedi just say "what does yr heart tell you?" and "try not worrying about it. 🧘‍♂️" and the only person who actually seems to care about him is.... evil? but. that can't be right... what?

but there's no time to think about it because he did what he were supposed to do and told the jedi and now events are moving very fast and oops he got in the way and did something very impulsive and now mace windu is dead and it's anakin's fault, actually. and he still hasn't processed anything that's happened in the last... week? two months? ever in his life? but his friend palpatine is there and telling him that it's okay. that he did the right thing, that he did good. and guess what anakin? you don't have to worry about making any more hard decisions, because palpatine is gonna make them for you and you just have to do them. isn't that better? isn't that easier? isn't it?

[mspaintbladie]

i almost forgot that new (obtained) characters mean new text messages

[kalincka]

Assane letting Youssef keep the Avisto suit is so devilishly vicious to me. To anyone it'd just be a silly jab before storming out of the building but Assane knows how much Youssef is obsessed with him at this point. He's seen how the man has kept every single clue regarding him. “Hey I know you can't stop thinking about me and I've just betrayed you but don't worry you can keep the disguise that I specifically crafted for you for that one secret time you've been closest to me. Yes you can keep it. As a souvenir. You'll never forget how it felt being created by me :)"

[spamreports]

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Unsolicited DM spam about fake exchange advance fee scam (you won fake money, but need to deposit real money as "verification".) Anything sent is lost.

If it sounds too good to be true it is a scam.

All direct messages about promotions, technical support or airdrops are 100% scams.

Turn off direct messages to disable the ability of criminals to spam you with scams.

This is advanced fee scam and it exists from before the internet was born. You supposedly won something, but need to deposit first as "verification". If somebody is naive enough to believe that they "won" a random giveaway from a fake exchange with no liquidity and volume, hosted on scammy Russian servers and registered 1 day ago, sure, it looks "polished"

[waitineedaname]

Do u have any transfemme Jiang Cheng headcanons you’re willing to share 🥺 every time you bring it up it makes me unreasonably happy so I would love to hear more about it 🫶🫶

AHHHH no really major headcanons, it's just something I like to rotate in my mind a lot! transfemme jiang cheng is. so special to me. I guess I have a few thoughts

I think a big part of Jiang Cheng's relationship to gender comes from Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan being the models of masculinity and femininity growing up. Jiang Cheng already relates a Lot to Yu Ziyuan, and I think if JC is transfemme, it's a big deal to her that Yu Ziyuan wields so much power. She's an incredible cultivator, a fierce fighter, and generally is a force to be reckoned with. At the same time, she's still a woman living in a misogynistic society. YZY would probably make a better sect leader than JFM, but she's a woman and his wife, and therefore he gets the final say in things

This in turn I think affects Jiang Cheng's feelings about gender and being sect leader. Jiang Cheng has a tendency to prioritize sect concerns > personal desires, and I think in this situation, masculinity is seen as a tool. Even if she knows privately that she is a woman, she would not be public about it because she's already in a precarious position being such a young sect leader. She needs all the respect she can get when rebuilding the Jiang sect, so she stays in the closet by choice. She might eventually come out years and years later, once the Jiang sect is stable and she knows she's not going to get fucked over, but that's really not her first priority

I do think she tells her siblings, though. Jiang Yanli is probably the first person she tells, and she's endlessly supportive. Wei Wuxian is kind of clueless about this sort of thing (see: not realizing he liked men until he got resurrected into the body of a gay man) but he loves Jiang Cheng so he'd be supportive, especially if he learned when they were both still kids. Of course, this makes the tragedy of Jiang Cheng losing everyone even worse. After her siblings died, there was no one who knew who she really was. Thank god for resurrections, huh? fucking hell

in a modern au, I think being a woman would fix her. She would be able to come out without all the other bullshit to worry about, and I think it would be very healing for her. I've known a number of people to go on estrogen who said the effects were more emotional than physical, and I think HRT would be so good for her. I just need Jiang Cheng to be happy goddammit. has she not been through enough

that got long. I guess I had more thoughts than I expected lsdkjflksdjf I also have a snippet from a modern au wip that I don't know if I'll ever continue/finish, but I'll put it under a read more bc I find it funny. I think Wen Qing should crack Jiang Cheng's egg, as a treat <3

Wen Qing knew Jiang Cheng too well. It was something he both loved and hated. There were very few people outside his family that could see through his blustering and read him for who he was, and Wen Qing was one of them. Hell, she was better at it than his own brother.

She didn't hesitate to call him on it either. He wouldn't be forgetting the way she'd looked at him after he introduced her to his parents and told him this explains a lot about you. Rude. Correct, but rude.

Because she knew him so well, she knew the best times to drop these bombs on him. Exposing him when he was in the wrong mood might make his temper flare, or it might make him curl into an insecure ball. Neither were reactions he liked having around her.

Wen Qing knew the best time to drop revelations on him was when he was happy and as close to relaxed as he could get, which is of course why she apparently decided the best time to bring up this particular bombshell was when he was floating in postcoital bliss.

“I'm going to tell you something,” Wen Qing said, her ankle still hooked gently around his calf. “You can't freak out about it.”

Jiang Cheng paused in the middle of pressing lazy kisses to her temple, heart rate immediately spiking. “Now?” he said, incredulous and a little whiny. 

“It's not a bad thing,” she reassured him, gently scratching his scalp. It relaxed him like a charm, though he was still suspicious. “Do you promise to listen?”

“Do I have much of a choice?” he asked, propping himself up on her chest. Her lips quirked in a smile as she looked down at him.

“I think you're a woman,” she said, direct and matter-of-fact.

Jiang Cheng jolted upright so hard he slammed his head into the headboard. Wen Qing frowned and sat up as he rolled off her. “You're going to give yourself a concussion,” she said, accusatory.

“You're insane!” Jiang Cheng said, attempting to sit upright without making his head swim. Wen Qing huffed and pushed him down with a firm hand to his chest. He could throw her off if he wanted to, but, well, he didn't want to. He rather liked it when she pushed him around and climbed on top of him like she was right now, pinning him in place and preventing him from running away from the conversation.

[letraspal]

Baking Battles

This Baking Show AU + Fake Dating is my gift to @/Zr for the Carry On server’s Secret Snowflake Exchange ❄️ I added friends to lovers bc I’m very self indulgent. Hope you like it, I enjoyed a lot to work on this AU because fake dating is simply my greatest pleasure.

[supercityboys]

A huge hc I have about Majima and Kiryu’s relationship: They’re microdosing on co-parenting. As in, the same way that we say they’re ludo-narratively having sex when they fight, they’re also raising a family that way.

I think Majima would be secretly eager to meet the MG kids because they’re detached from the clan. He’ll still do the entire song and dance of his well manicured façade, claiming he’s not interested in snot nosed brats, even though we know better. After years of taking care of Daigo the idea of being allowed into this other inner sanctum of Kiryu’s would be another step up in their relationship.

Cause the reality is that Kiryu really had no set path in life other than to follow Kazama. And after Kazama died… what choice did he really have but to become him? Majima, however, he, Saejima, and Yasuko wanted things. They had plans and goals and deeply eternal wants. Majima wanted a family. If he hadn’t been so deeply ingrained in the yakuza world he would’ve stayed with Makoto or Mirei. He liked being a cabaret manager to some degree. In 2/3 of these situations there was a child involved and he wanted to care for said child. And now… we’ll he’s already given the idea up until Kiryu comes to him with Daigo. Yeah, he’s already grown, but he’s mine and I’m letting him be yours too.

Kiryu’s the one who keeps his family “separated” from his yakuza life and no matter how happy Majima makes him, he’s an outlier. He belongs to Tojo the same way Daigo and Kashiwagi do. Family, but ultimately yakuza. But for Majima, who did what Kiryu is just now trying to do, he’s desperate. Majima cut everyone off when he was relocated to Sotenbori and basically stayed that way. Sotenbori was his Okinawa. Even Sagawa asked Majima why is he paying all of this money to rejoin when he is clearly making hella cash and is a town celebrity. Then after 88’ he cuts everyone off AGAIN. Then he falls in love and makes friends and cuts them off AGAIN. He’s tried and tried, and truthfully? Nishida, Minami, Okada, etc? All his subordinates. He’s raising them through the ranks and isn’t their equal. Kiryu though? He’s such a perfect equal that for a while Shimano makes him the enemy. Kazama’s pet, mysterious Sera’s golden ticket. Then Kiryu gives him his prodigal first born. Formally wayward, newly set straight. Majima doesn’t need to raise him through the ranks, he just has to help him keep afloat… like a son.

Kiryu’s the only person who touches and leaves the clan like Majima does. Kiryu has a taste of heaven and Majima has a taste of it too. Majima’s taking care of Daigo, Kiryu’s taking care of Haruka. It’s a fair trade off isn’t it? Majima has friends in the industry, Kiryu has followers in the business. Kiryu has the dream and Majima has the means to secure it but they won’t indulge in it because if you have heaven and I have heaven… where’s the atonement? Where do we pay for the pain and suffering? We don’t. We’ll just make sure the kids don’t suffer like us.

[canadiankakashi]

@mcyt-valentines gift for @artsy-book

Behold, newest apocalypse fic, enjoy👍