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"I asked ChatGPT..." Well, I asked the specter of Jim Sterling, who stalks and taunts me anytime I haven't had enough to drink, and he reminded me about the company responsible for my son's death and made me punch a hole in a wall

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have you lot heard about the tiktoker who’s taking on the actual government over a parking ticket? because she’s a hero

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I had a stupid idea and I really wanted to draw it for some reason

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FIC: Juleka Couffaine, Accidental Matchmaker Extraordinaire: 2/6 (MLB; Julerose, Lukanette)

Read on Ao3 | Pt 1

“Juleka Couffaine, Accidental Matchmaker Extraordinaire”

ii.

A few weeks later found all four of them walking down the street, Marinette and Rose talking animatedly about a new movie that had recently come out.  Luka and Juleka would chime in every now and then; Juleka was really only interested because Rose was interested, and movies with Rose usually led to makeouts.  Luka genuinely seemed intrigued by the premise – some action comedy set in space that was supposed to have musical elements (Jay had been whining about it for ages, apparently, as they had aske Phil Collins to write the songs instead of him) – and so it was shortly decided that they would all go see it together.

Coordinating their schedules was…more challenging than it should have been (partly thanks to a stomach bug that was messing up Luka’s work schedule and Marinette’s generally chaotic schedule), but eventually they had a day picked out and Juleka went ahead and purchased the tickets.

“All right,” the usher said when she held up her phone for him to scan.  He nodded as he read the seat numbers.  “Looks like you have two all the way at the back and two down at the front.  Enjoy the show!”

“Wait, what?” Marinette asked, reaching for her phone to double-check the tickets.  Her face fell when she saw the seat numbers.  “Oh, no!  Juleka, did you know you split us up like that?”

…she did, actually.

That was kind of the point.

Because movies are for makeouts, and no way in hell was she making out next to her brother.

“…wait, really?” she asked, feigning innocence as she took her phone back.  Maybe a beat too late and not innocent enough, if the way Luka’s brow furrowed was anything to go by.  “Shoot.  I guess I did.  Sorry about that, guys.”

It was an honest enough mistake, if you didn’t know any better.  The seat numbers were still 11-14.  They were just five rows apart.

“Oh, man…I was really looking forward to seeing this together,” Rose sighed.  The usher frowned as he checked something on his own screen.

“I’d offer to let you switch, but it looks like the theater is sold out.  If anyone doesn’t show up, or you could talk to the people around you…” he offered with a shrug, but Juleka shook her head.  Even if it had been an honest mistake, she wasn’t that keen on talking to strangers to ‘fix’ it.

“We’ll be fine,” she said, stashing her phone back in her pocket.  She looked at Luka and Marinette with what she hoped was an apologetic smile on her face.  “You guys don’t mind, right?  You’re cool.”

“…it’s fine,” Luka said, though he still looked suspicious.  He was carrying a big bucket of popcorn – one he had gotten with the intention of sharing with all of them, but one Juleka was pretty sure she wasn’t going to get a single kernel out of.  He winked at Marinette when she looked up at him.  “It just means more popcorn for us, right?”

“…yeah,” she said, a small smile – and a small blush – lighting up her face.  Juleka raised an eyebrow before digging her phone back out and handing it to Rose.  She waved them on with a roll of her eyes.

“Go on – I’ll go get us our own popcorn, Rose,” she said, looking at her girlfriend.  She shot Luka a Look before she left.  “One that doesn’t have Luka Cooties all over it.”

“Oh, come on!” he cried as she walked away, smirking.  “You are sixteen years old – aren’t we a little past cooties?!”

– V –

Luka was still pouting – no, not pouting, because he would never do something as silly as pout over his sister being an asshole, but he was still…disgruntled over being told he had cooties as they found their seats at the bottom of the theater.  Rose had offered to swap seats with them, but Luka had gently refused.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out Juleka’s mistake hadn’t been…well.  A mistake.  Luka wasn’t necessarily happy about his sister’s plotting, if you could even call it that, but he’d rather take the seats at the bottom of the theater.  Where his back would be safely turned on the remainder of their party in the back.

Less chance of seeing something he really didn’t want to that way.

“Sorry you got stuck with me,” Marinette said as they took their seats.  She placed the big drink between them and curled up in the seat, tucking her legs under her as she turned towards him.  “You really don’t mind?”

“What?” he asked, blinking as he turned to face her.  He froze when he realized just how close she was.  If he was just a bit shorter, their noses would be touching.  He sucked in a breath as she looked up at him with the widest, bluest eyes he had ever seen.  “…what?”

Her lips turned in a frown, and that made him frown, too.  What had they been talking about again?

“…I can go sit with Rose,” she said, pulling her lower lip between her teeth.  “If you’d like?  I know the movie was kind of our thing, and I don’t want to bore you the whole time.”

“…what?  No,” he said, reaching for her hand and squeezing.  “What are you talking about?  I don’t mind.  I want to see it, too, remember?  And besides, I’d rather watch this with you than Juleka, anyway.”

Her smile started to come back, and then something bounced off his head and she was grinning, biting down on a laugh.  He glanced behind him to see Juleka climbing the steps with her own bucket of popcorn, looking anywhere but at them as she went.  He went to turn back to Marinette and a piece of popcorn fell from his hair into their bucket.

“…ew,” she giggled, and he smiled helplessly at her.  “Sorry.  You’re really ok with this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be, Mari?” he asked, squeezing her hand before he settled back in his chair.  He held up the popcorn for her, and despite her nose crinkling (adorably) she took a few pieces to pop in her mouth.  “I love spending time with you.  I don’t mind at all.  Do…do you?”

“Huh?  Of course not,” she said.  The lights went down as the first preview started, so he couldn’t be certain, but he would swear a blush stained her cheeks as she sank back in her own chair.  She reached over for some more popcorn, and in the bright lights of the first preview he could see there was definitely a blush on her face when their hands brushed.  She didn’t snatch hers away, though, instead running her pointer finger along his own before snagging a few more pieces.  “A-anyway.  This is the first time…I mean, it’ll be nice to actually see a whole movie with you, you know?”

His eyes widened as he turned to her, but she was resolutely staring at the screen like the four hundredth Marvel movie being previewed was the most fascinating thing in the world.  She reached for some more popcorn, and when her hand bumped into his again her eyes slid back towards him.

He was still just…staring at her.

He…he couldn’t have heard that right.

…could he have?

But her lips turned in a small smile, and then the theater was dark again as the trailer ended.  When the next one started, she was staring back at the screen, munching on more popcorn.

The blush was still on her cheeks. …he was pretty sure there was one on his, too.

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when writing, there is a fine line between research and procrastination. 

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FIC: Juleka Couffaine, Accidental Matchmaker Extraordinaire: 1/6 (MLB; Julerose, Lukanette)

Characters/Pairings: Juleka Couffaine, Luka Couffaine, Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Rose Lavillant; Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant, Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

Rating: Teen and Up

Summary: Juleka just wanted some time alone with her girlfriend.  She wasn’t actively trying to get her stupid brother back with his stupid ex – playing matchmaker had always been more Rose’s thing, anyway – but the best way to distract said stupid brother and get some damn alone time is with said stupid ex, so…maybe she kind of was?  Oops?

Author’s Notes/Warnings: This started as an idea of Unintentional Yenta Juleka, who was just trying to get five minutes alone with her girlfriend so kept dumping Marinette on Luka (and, thanks to all the unexpected extra time together, they end up back together?).  It’s still kinda that?  Just not?  I don’t even know.  I cranked it out in a day when it was too hot to work on the blanket I’m making.  So…here, have some silliness?  😂  Idek if I can say it’s Rierse’s fault anymore since it sidetracked so badly.  😂🖤

(This isn’t a long one, but because of how I broke it up I think I’m gonna post it as short little chapters?  I’m thinking daily updates over the next week.  🖤)

Read on Ao3

“Juleka Couffaine, Accidental Matchmaker Extraordinaire”

i.

“Are you going to be home tonight?”

Luka looked up at her question.  She didn’t turn her own head from her vanity, where she was meticulously reapplying her eyeliner.  She shouldn’t know that he had looked up.  He hadn’t even stopped noodling on his guitar.

But she could feel his eyes on her, and she knew.  She always knew.

“Was planning on it,” he said, and that uncomfortable prickling on the back of her neck disappeared as he turned back to his guitar.  “I don’t have work.  Ding’s got plans with Brielle.  Nothing better to do.  Why?”

She was quiet.  Maybe a bit longer than she should have been.  Not too long for anyone else to think twice about it, but Luka?  Her dear, stupid brother who had always been way more perceptive than any one person had any right to be?

It was just a beat too long.

“Jules?” he asked.  She pressed her teeth into her lower lip, then immediately released it when she remembered she wasn’t planning on reapplying her lipstick.  At least not yet – and she had forgotten to grab more on the walk home.  She had to ration what she had left, especially if…

“Nothing,” she said, capping her eye pencil and dropping it back into her little makeup bag.  She started rooting through it, looking for the eyeshadow she wanted.  “Rose was wondering.  She was coming over for a movie.”

“…not that scary one you’ve been talking about all week,” he groaned.

“So what if it is?” she asked, finally glancing over at him.  He was dressed enough.  He’d have to put his shoes back on, but that was an easy enough fix.  “We’re not inviting you.”

“I’m going to hear it through the wall,” he grumped.  She snorted and turned back to her makeup kit.

Checkmate.

“So go find somewhere else to be,” she tutted.  She glanced up, hiding her smile behind her hair.  There was one surefire way to get her brother off the boat, and now that she had her opening…  “…wasn’t Marinette looking for volunteers tonight?  To help set up for the school fair this weekend?”

“She what?” he asked, looking up.  “She never said…”

“Pretty sure she did today at lunch,” she said, smudging a bit of eyeshadow onto the applicator and looking back at her reflection.  It was a lie – a little white one – but if it afforded her some time alone with her girlfriend (and gave Luka some time alone with his…whatever the hell he was with Marinette these days), she figured he couldn’t be too upset about it.  “I think it was when Simon came over to ask you about that project.  You probably didn’t hear her.”

His brow furrowed, but it wasn’t ten seconds later before Claire was sitting in her stand and he was attempting to shove a shoe on with one hand while tapping away at his phone on another.  He was gone a few minutes later, and Juleka smirked as she snapped her eyeshadow case shut.

Perfect, she thought.  That should keep him busy for a few hours – which left her and Rose time to be as gross as they wanted with the boat to themselves.

. : .

He found her in the school gym.

Alone in the school gym.

She was set up on the stage, painting…something.  He couldn’t tell from the doors.  She also had her phone hooked up to a speaker by the cart holding her supplies, cranking out the album Jay had dropped last month, and hadn’t noticed him walk in.

“Where is everyone?” he asked, raising his voice above the wailing of his dad’s guitar.  She shrieked and jumped back in a flailing of limbs, kicking over the paint tin she’d been working from in the process.  She yelped again when she realized what she’d done, and in another flurry of limbs she was snatching up the tin and reaching for a rag to blot the spreading paint up with.

“No, no, no, no, no…” she cried, pushing whatever she’d been working on away before it could be ruined by the spill.  She looked up once it was safe, blinking startled eyes at him.  “…Luka?  What are you doing here?”

“Jules said you needed help,” he said.  He was already crossing the gym to her, and he hopped up onto the stage in a move that spoke of years of hopping gates and scurrying up the rigging (and maybe just a little superheroing around Paris to boot).  He frowned when he saw the posters spread out on the stage – including the one sporting a brand new red splotch on the bottom edge.  “Sorry.  I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You…did, you totally did,” she said, but she was smiling and laughing as she said it.  She patted the stage beside her, and he grinned as he dropped down to sit next to her.  “Sorry.  I wasn’t expecting anyone else to be here.”

“Jules said you were asking for volunteers at lunch,” he said, lifting an eyebrow.  She frowned, her eyes drifting to the side like she was trying to remember what she had actually said earlier.

“That’s tomorrow,” she finally said, her frown growing.  “I’m pretty sure I said tomorrow night .  They still need to use the gym during school, so we can’t set up until after classes are over.  I didn’t bother asking you because you had work.”

He blinked as her words sunk in.  In his mind, he could practically hear his sister cackling.

“…of course they are,” he said, nodding.  “That little monster child.”

“She wanted you off the boat so she could make out with Rose in peace, didn’t she?” Marinette asked, giggling.  He chuckled and nodded.

“I think so,” he said.  He looked around at the posters and hummed.  “Well.  Since I’m here anyway.  Want some help?”

His heart did a little flip when her smile lit up her whole face and she handed him a brush.

“I’d love some.”

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Covert Glances & Second Chances

Chapter 3: More Than a Symphony

Summary:

It's all about the bass

"I can't believe you're here—and in a top hat." Tea and scones in hand, Marinette and Luka had found a shady spot for a tête-à-tête with what little privacy could be found on a sunny day surrounded by historical cosplayers.

Luka resisted the urge to steal a kiss. The adoring way Marinette was looking at him was giving him all sorts of ideas that weren't exactly regency-tea appropriate.

"After last night with you, and this morning's article, I could hardly stay away," Luka pointed out.

"Oh! That article. I can't believe they plastered us all over the internet." Marinette huffed.

"I didn't mind it all that much," Luka admitted.

"Why not?"

Luka set his tea down on a conveniently placed table and pulled her closer so he could whisper. "I thought it was a dream until I saw it on Jule's screen in black and white."

Marinette was suddenly very close. Impossibly close. "A-a dream?"

Luka nodded as the party went fuzzy around the edges, pulling Marinette into his arms and claiming her lips. "Don't you know by now that you're my dream come true, Marinette?" The shady tree at her back was perfect for pressing her against as his hands roamed— "I can't believe you did it again!"

Once again, Luka was dragged from sleep—and a dream he wouldn't have minded finishing— by Juleka's voice as she intruded on his morning. The tea had been more than alright—being with Marinette made just about anything worth doing. His mind chased the final details of the dream version of the tea for a moment; his hands clenched around the blankets, but they were a poor substitute for Marinette. He sighed as the lingering feelings of the dream receded from his grasp. Unfortunately, the tea hadn't been quite that much fun in real life.

Read the rest on AO3!

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Projecting our period cramps onto Saja boys

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My medieval servant boy has gone missing. I’ll just use Google to see if I can find him.

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STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

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My Luka (5)

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AI industry groups are urging an appeals court to block what they say is the largest copyright class action ever certified. They’ve warned that a single lawsuit raised by three authors over Anthropic’s AI training now threatens to “financially ruin” the entire AI industry if up to 7 million claimants end up joining the litigation and forcing a settlement.

well…darn

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Here’s something I’m curious about.

Picture this. You’re reading a book, a standard book divided into chapters. Let’s say it’s fiction (don’t know if nonfiction would get different results). You’ve been reading for a while and you want to stop for now. Assume you are not literally falling asleep, you’re still awake and lucid.

You are in the middle of a paragraph, in the middle of a page, somewhere in the middle of a chapter in the middle of the book.

“Power through and finish the book” is not an option, but if you really do that you have my sympathies.

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You are a princess. Your evil witch stepmother turns you into a swan. Instead of running away to mope around in a lake and be beautifully tragic, you decide to stick around the palace and cause problems on purpose.

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FIC: All These Signs, They Lead Me to You: 17/39 (MLB; Lukanette)

End Notes: …not gonna lie. The whole reason I wanted to work that ATL song in so bad was because I couldn’t get the image of Rose screaming the bridge out and Luka laughing the “Aw, shit.” It’s the little things sometimes. 😂

Tumblr Tag | Ao3 Contents

Seventeen: Of Finding Equilibrium

The next nine months seemed to pass in a blur.

The mess with Aurore had come out right before Christmas break, and Marinette would have ended up spending most of those two weeks at the Stone House — if Jay hadn’t decided it was the perfect time to fly back to New York and visit his parents.

“I’m fine, honest,” Luka had assured her on New Year’s Eve. The wifi had been too shoddy to get a decent video through, but he had still called right before midnight (her midnight, the one he was supposed to be celebrating) to ring in the new year with her. That had meant more to her than she thought he probably knew. She had spent the past few New Year’s Eves at the Stone House, and it was weird not being there this year. “It…you know I never really felt it with her, Mari. I had my pity party for letting her dupe me, and now I’m over it. No spilled milk, right?”

“No spilled milk,” she had said, and she had wondered if it really was as simple as all that. He was an artist, after all, like her — they tended to feel things more deeply than most. She had been up on her balcony, wrapped in her warmest blanket and also kind of maybe definitely wishing he’d been there with her to watch the fireworks. They seemed extra pretty that year. “I just…don’t like the idea of you being alone right now.”

“I’m not alone,” he had laughed. “Do you realize how popular my grandparents are? The house is packed. I had to sneak into a closet just to call you.”

“Shut up,” she had laughed back. “You did not.”

“I reek of moth balls, Marinette,” he had quipped. “Moth balls.”