#everyone goes through shit that doesn't mean you can treat others like it

[chaifootsteps]

does the 'we're only halfway through' squad realize that half of a show is more than enough time to expect actual character development to happen? because it hasn't and I suspect it won't, because Viv is terrible at actually making character changes stick

Blitzo - he's fared the best of everyone but it's still not much to look at - he's still an impulsive jerk who's mean to Moxxie. He's decided to stop butting in on M&M not because he respects either of their boundaries more now but because he's pining for Stolas for no adequately explained reason. His relationship with Loona hasn't changed, he's still a bit overbearing and overprotective. He's made up with Fizz but it doesn't really feel like he's changed meaningfully to become a person who wouldn't make the same mistake again because the first mistake was just an accident he couldn't have foreseen. Regressed in some ways because Stolas has totally wrecked his confidence and made him behave out of character by making Loona, his beloved daughter, burn taxidermy owls and neglected to pay his employees i.e. hurt the people who should matter to pine over his abuser.

On his end he's treated rephrensibly by the people who are supposed to love him - Stolas obviously, but also treated poorly by Fizz, M&M and Loona as not one of them think how Stolas treated him is messed up. IMP in particular are actively aware of Stolas being the meal ticket and assume it's fine to pimp out their boss since he's not complaining about it?

Moxxie - learns he needs to be confident in his own skills. Repeatedly. Occasionally calls Blitzo by first name but still uses 'sir' often, so he hasn't really changed there. No relationship to speak of with Loona. Mostly happy together with Millie

Millie - her only plots are helping the men get their shit together. Stopped calling Loona hellhound for no explained reason

Loona - made a friend in Tex, kind of. No change in most of her relationships with the cast because she barely has one

Via - repeating the same 'why does dad keep neglecting me' arc until she cuts him off, at which point he'll probably win her back in five minutes (then go right back to ignoring her)

Stolas - developed to learn the deal was wrong but not really since he's ending it principally because Blitzo wouldn't date him at the same time as Stolas was sexually extorting him. Still treats Blitzo like an object whose feelings inconvenience him. Still neglects his daughter. Learnt to stand up to Stella out of nowhere, so there's that I guess. Regressed harder than anyone else in terms of development since he's incapable of ever admitting when he's done wrong - it's not cheating since he says so, and gives lip service to the idea he's hurt Blitzo before being Shocked and Appalled whenever Blitzo confirms outright 'you hurt me'. Still talks down to imps. Has yet to acknowledge any of the members of IMP by name or show gratitude for them saving his life. A waste of flesh and screentime

Fizz - changed from a chaotic sassy king to a scared abused woobie. Managed to get free of Mammon in the space of one episode. Made up with Blitzo. Feels bad about not being equal to Ozzie but we're going to sweep that under the rug since classism storylines are a problem for making stol1tz happen

Striker - went from a legitimately scary antagonist who had a point, tempted Blitzo with great chemistry to a laughing stock who not only always loses but is called a supremacist despite only having ever pointed out the rich have all the power and mistreat the poor (a thing the show has proven him right about time and again). Goes from smooth seductor to joke with a hygiene problem

like, we can admit this is a tiny amount of development for two whole seasons and 50% of the entire show, right?

You can really tell the people in this fandom who actually watch other forms of media from the ones who don't, and by that I mean "haters expecting everything to be revealed in episode one." Shows don't reveal or even necessarily plan everything from day one, but I can't think of another cartoon that wobbles around as much as HB does.

[evillex11]

“why are you making gojo a tragic character” he is tragic wdym!! even with his silly, unserious persona, we have glimpses of his misery (outside his relationship with geto bc that itself is another layer of tragedy in his character lmao) bc he's often exploited and dehumanized!!

he was born with an extremely rare and powerful feature, six eyes, which immediately puts him into the spotlight since his birth. he was just little when a target was put on his head for various reasons (ex. money, fear, power) so he had to act accordingly in order to protect himself [child gojo scenes]. he was also adored by many but solely for his strength and ability to protect, his capability to shoulder a lot of responsibilities because he was gojo. we can assume that it's instilled to him from the very beginning that he needs to fulfil that duty because what other purpose would heis ability serve? he doesn't particularly like his role either [basketball scene] as that's all what he's been doing, it's all what he's been told, and it's all what he'll continue to do even after his death.

but even with his service, he's still treated like shit. to almost everyone, gojo's identity doesn't go beyond his name, his CT, his six eyes, his ability to lift heavyweights, his almost unmatched strength and intelligence,, he is a tool, an object with a purpose. even with his power, he couldn't bring himself to go against those weaker than him—the very people he protects. he's supposedly above everyone yet it seems like he's under their tight grip. tho can see where they're coming from as the gap between him and everyone else is large, but it's still a heavy responsible to carry,, it's exhausting and it sucks the life outta you

he's so lonely despite being surrounded by people, not just in the sense that his peers don't get along with him because they think he's insufferable, but also in the sense that he has no one to share his burdens with (by splitting the responsibility, talking about it, or understanding him), he can't be his authentic self around anyone, he can't be human around anyone. because if the gojo satoru was worried, exhausted, defeated, that means everyone is doomed! he can't show anything but his silly and unworried personality to protect people around him. the persona he's curated acts like a veil which conceals the fights sorcerers go through to defeat enemies.

to the majority, gojo is not completely a human person, no the depth or nuance, he is simply a strong character. he can't deny the request for help, he can't seek help, he certainly can't rest. who knows what goes on inside his head? who knows what his thoughts are like and how he's affected by all the burden he carries? well, the two people who was near his level knew (geto and yuuta)

he's truly miserable.. and because of how the jujutsu world is, everything would crumble if there wasn't someone that is both powerful and exploitable. I think understanding him is as far as we'll get to making him human

–

thx 4 reading this long ass post I'm totally just so normal abt him... ^^ I just want to see this side of him portrayed more cuz he's human after all and all those burdens are still heavy and crushing,,

and as always, if I misinterpreted something or if u wanna share ur thoughts, feel free to lmk!!!

[candyskiez]

thinks about teru again. he’s so funny and tragic to me. like. ok so he got targeted by a psychic terrorist organization that sent adults to try and kidnap him at a young age. and he rationalizes it by going “i am the Protagonist this is happening because i am the Main Character” and then lives his life by that idea bc it’s that or face the fact that he’s nothing, that he’s an average person and all these things happened to him for no reason. and then he meets mob and wants to befriend him, has questions he wants to ask- here is someone who might finally understand him. and then bc teru is thinking like a Main Character i think he goes “ok so if i defeat him then we’re friends otherwise we’re rivals” bc he’s still going off of tropes and cliches. and then shigeo fucking curbstomps him and he goes “oh ok i get it im not the main character 👍 KAGEYAMA’s the main character. so i must be The Rival Character then” but it’s just a way he can act as a friend without breaking the tropes he uses to rationalize his trauma

YEAH YOU GET IT! YOU UNDERSTAND! He's so horribly lonely but also literally everything about his mindset is directly standing in the way of giving him any connection. He holds people to such high standards that they're always going to disappoint him, so he spends time with none of them. He craves constant approval and affection but none of it is enough to satisfy the need for actual connection. So he just goes through shallow relationship after shallow relationship going Yep. This is great. I am happy. And I genuinely think he doesn't realize he's NOT happy because like. When you're in a shitty situation for your entire life you don't necessarily realize things can be Better. So Teru is not captured by claw when other people are, and he can do things that other people can't, so his situation is better than most! Nevermind the fact hey maybe there shouldn't be Claw. Maybe people shouldn't be attacking random kids. Maybe this is all insane. He's just like. Wow I'm so strong and smart for evading claw, because the idea that he just was Lucky would be terrifying and take away his entire sense of safety. He needs to be the smartest toughest guy that Has Ever Existed™ because if he's not, then suddenly he could get captured or die at any moment. And that's suddenly way less haha my life is so cool! The denial juice is strong here.

Literally everything about his introduction episodes is so damn telling. He tells the body improvement club everyone always underestimates him. But he conveniently leaves out how this makes him feel, or if he's offended. We see him lose his shit when Mob says he isn't able to hurt him, so clearly he's far more affected by it than he wants to admit. But he can't be upset by it. It's an Advantage in this Battle he's in. No one takes him seriously, and that means he can get away with more shit, and that means it's easier to beat them in battle! Nevermind the fact that he works his ass off, he is not upset at all, because that would be ridiculous. It's an Advantage. He wraps literally everything in his life that hurts him up in a bow of "Actually, this is good." He cannot admit that anything about him or his life is bad. He cannot admit that he isn't perfect, or that his life isn't just a fun challenge, or that he maybe misses his parents a little bit. He like...just fully submerges himself in the idea of being a character so he doesn't have to realize how easily he could die or have his life ruined. If his parents stop sending him money, he's fucked. If claw beats him, he's fucked. He doesn't have actual connections with people, because he views them too lowly to let them in at all, and he is fucking himself over so hard with it. He needs this to not be terrifying. And he also needs to be in the right, I think. I mean, he treats all of the fights at school like a game. It feeds his ego and it means he's safe. People can't touch him and it feels good to take out his anger (he's just angry that they disrespect him, he has nothing else whatsoever to have unresolved anger about, he is completely fine and is just enjoying being able to wipe that smug smile off that assholes face. He is so okay and well adjusted!) He's just. A mess of weird ass coping mechanisms. If he isn't right, which he definitely is!, suddenly he isn't the main character, suddenly he's not just Doing Whatever, suddenly he's just another asshole. Y'know. Do I make sense. He needs to be right because if he's not right it goes from a fun game to he was just an asshole for no reason and he didn't actually gain anything at all.

God. I need to rewatch EP five, because it's insane and also tells you so much about Teru, I'm sure it's even better on a rewatch. I need to rewatch this show soon or I'll die. But like. God. He takes the idea of the only other natural esper his age he's ever met being different than him SO personally. Because he's right. He is doing everything exactly the way he is supposed to. Clearly this guy is an idiot and weak. That's why he's afraid to fight him. Clearly. He can't comprehend that maybe Mob just straight up doesn't want to hurt him. Mob thinks he's better than him. Mob needs to be taken down a peg. And then he can't hurt Mob. Then he can't break his fucking barrier. Hes fought espers before. He knows how to fight espers. He is perfectly capable of it. He has literally everything he needs to beat him and for the first time he very suddenly Can't. And this person is so different and is treating him like he's having a temper tantrum and isn't following his rules that he's formed his entire life around. Can I interest you in autistic Teru. Can I please interest you in the fact Teru has autism. Please ma'am I just want a minute of your time.

I also feel like. The fact he Needed to idolize Mob is very telling. Mob defeated him so CLEARLY he's so powerful and perfect and amazing. He still can't let go of Being Amazing, of the idea he can't fail for no good reason. He needs Mob to be special or else he means nothing. Or else he's worthless. He needs to mean something. His entire identity is hinged around Mob now which. No pressure. He needs Mob to be perfect or else he's worth Nothing. So he puts him on a huge pedestal so he doesn't have to do any reflecting and now he can have the added bonus of a friend and it's Fine! It is totally fine. He is not affected by the fact he almost killed a man on accident. He is not affected by the fact he may have severely injured several people. He is not affected by the fact Mob could've killed him. He is not affected by the fact he was wrong. None of this affects him at all. He is So Fine.

And then he switched the narrative around to haha I was the one who needed to be taken down a peg. This is fine. My world view is not in shambles. I don't need to reassess anything. Everything that happened to me is still cool and fine and I still matter because I'm in the main characters life. So it's fine. He goes from nothing matters except Me to nothing matters except Kageyama, but at first he's done absolutely zero reconfiguring.

Also like. He romanticized that fight so much. Can we please talk about that. God. Hi. This fucking kid. Someone please like. Get him a therapist and maybe a Capri Sun.

I'm too tired to write more right now and think I should probably go ahead and post but like. Yeah. God. This show. Teru makes way too much damn sense. I want to shake him. What is his problem (just spent several paragraphs analyzing his problem.)

[liveontelevision]

Little Lucifer x Reader blurb that's been sitting in my drafts for like 2 weeks my bad yall

♡♡♡

"You know, it's a little embarrassing, I actually had a crush on you when I first came to the hotel." You try to laugh it off, giggling between the lines of a ludicrous thought.

A crush?

On the King of Hell?

I mean, come on.

Oh, but he had to bite his tongue. Hard. He needed to play it off just like you were. By the time he had processed the information, your back was facing him, already engaged in some other conversation with Angel Dust.

You treated it like just a passing thought, a little qwip to make your friends laugh. But that's not what really bugged Lucifer. No, it was the past tense of it all. What could've turned your feelings rotten? Were you so sure that nothing could happen? That it wasn't even a possibility? Why did those feelings vanish?

What did I do wrong?

"You're gonna catch a fly, your majesty!" An accent accompanies the phrase that finally snaps him out of his fog. Angel Dust sends you and the bartender into a little fit of snickers.

He was in fact sitting mouth open, eyes wide. He was hoping he could play it off by simply not mentioning it allowed, but his body betrayed him. He let his thoughts run over the arrogance he should've been feeling- as the sin of pride- so he goes with that.

"Of course, you had a crush on me! I'm The King of Hell, I'm sure all that power can be quite alluring. And my smile, obviously." His daring smirk he holds slowly fades when he hears a scoff passing your lips.

"Yeah, obviously." You roll your eyes at his words, leaning against the counter. Your nonchalant demeanor seems to make Lucifer shrink. "But, no, really.. it was, uh... your sense of humor, and how flustered you'd get around Alastor- you'd get so red in the face," you're still laughing through your words, not noticing the shine in Lucifer's eyes just from the sound of it.

"And just.. you care so much, you know? About Charlie and the hotel, even those little ducks.. You put your heart into everything, and it shows." Lucifer swears the room had disapated around the two of you. With a flushed face, mostly due to the drinks - you'd never be so bold while sober - you're smiling at him so sweetly, he could get lost in just the way your lips curl. How your eyes squint and how your cheeks puff just a little when you fully grin.

A snort snaps both of you out of it.

"So, you like how he's a dad, huh? Is that it? Got a thing for dilfs-" You immediately push Angel from his stool as he starts yapping about some modern lingo Lucifer doesn't quite understand.

"What's that now?" Lucifer cocks his head to the side, watching you scramble and wrestle your hand over Angel's mouth.

"Nothing!" You blurt out quickly.

Moving on!

"B-But yeah, it's not a big deal, It was just a little crush. Besides, you're like a 10,000 year old angel, a king. Plus, I saw your ring-" Damn it. He finds himself placing his right hand overtop his left. "-and that kind of helped me get over it faster.. no harm, no foul!" You finish quickly.

"Well, we're not exactly together anymore." He said those words so fast that it brings everyone's attention to him. The thought of some newfound gossip drew Angel in, but the idea that Lucifer might be correcting you? That he's trying to argue the reasoning you gave as to why you can't like him? You feel your breath start to shallow.

"No shit! Got some marital problems with queenie? Give us the deets, your highness!" Angel is leaning on the back of his hands, eagerly awaiting the beans that Lucifer was apparently meant to spill. He looks around the lobby before sighing and tapping his finger absentmindedly. His claw against the metal wedding band makes a quiet tick-tick-ticking.

"O-Oh jeez.. uh..." before he can fret any further, the sensation of a warm palm overtop his fidgeting hands brings him a sense of dread and relief.

"You don't have to talk about it, if you don't want to." You speak softly, aiming to sooth and also give a little privacy from the nosy guest behind you. And while he appreciates your sincerity, he needs you to understand.

"No no, I brought it up in the first place. But, uh.. you know, we've been together since Eden and 10,000 years is a long time. So.. we just drifted apart.. and sometimes..." Lucifer's eyes drop with his hesitant words. You weren't sure if he was reminiscing of fond times or regretting them with the face he was making. But then, his eyes come up to meet yours.

"Sometimes, people change."

[hurtspideyparker]

The Avengers as High School Friend Group Archetypes

Tony Stark: Mentally ill friend. Made too many suicide jokes so his friends forced him into therapy. Flakes out on plans a lot. Either has a God complex or the worst self-esteem known to humankind. Freaks everyone out when he texts goodbye in the gc without context (he's just going on a business trip)

Bucky Barnes: Black cat. Hisses at everyone but Steve. Great at holding his boundaries but comes off aloof. Nobody is sure if he actually likes them but would secretly kill for all his friends. Hides in shadows and jumpscares everyone with his lurking. Secretly naps on Sam's bed when no one's looking

Steve Rogers: Mom friend. Always has granola bars, Tylenol, and a Tide to Go on him. Organizes the group hangouts and reminds everyone when they have a dentist appointment. Everyone's parents love him, "you can go if Steve's going" vibe. Constantly getting his friends out of trouble (secretly encourages them). His romantic life is a disaster

Thor Odinson: Gym bro. Eats eggs, chicken and rice everyday. Forces his friends to join him in the gym and comments about them not eating enough protein. Genuinely cares for their health, will get them out of bed for food and fresh air when they're sad. Goes through protein powder like Tony went through cocaine in the 80s

Peter Parker: Annoying little brother. Someone's mom definitely made them bring him to the big kid hangout. Everyone bullies him but he doesn't realize it, he just likes the attention from the cool older kids. Sam and Bucky hold him upside down from his ankles till he gets dizzy and Steve makes them put him down. Everyone is super protective of him when he's outside the friend group (hey, only we get to be mean to him)

Sam Wilson: Therapist friend. Gets way too many texts at 3 am. Extremely emotionally mature but laughs at fart jokes. Knows everyone's trauma and will use it against them if provoked. Strangers randomly vent to him in public. Gentle parents adults when they're upset. Nobody ever asks him how he is

Natasha Romanoff: Man hater. All her best friends are men and none of them are actually sure if she's joking about hating them. Mean but never takes things too far. Flirts constantly because she thinks it's funny but is really awkward and bad at it when she genuinely likes someone. Hates when someone treats her like a man / "one of the bros", wishes she had more female friends

Bruce Banner: Bad luck friend. Can not catch a break. Everytime they hear from him something new has gone wrong in his life. His dog threw up on his bed, his computer broke before a huge deadline, his favourite sweater shrunk in the dryer. Just a disaster of a human. Constantly has some minor injury, from inexplicable bruises to a sprained wrist. Never having a good day but tries to remain positive. Anxious

Clint Barton: Class clown. Will make a fool of himself in front of every pretty girl in his vicinity. Is actually only funny half the time, the other half he's just loudly wrong. Confidence is key for him. Can charm and talk his way out of anything. Will make everyone laugh at the worst moments. Women reject him because he has a girl best friend

Wanda Maximoff: Boy crazy. Is ready to talk about her crush, boyfriend, or situationship at any given moment. Is never single for longer than a month. Will not take shit from a man and makes sure her and her friends are treated properly. Surprisingly good at balancing her friendships and relationships, doesn't neglect people. Has Pinterest boards for her wedding, dream home, and decor. Wants to be a stay at home mom. Big Swiftie and went to the Eras Tour

Pietro Maximoff: Unemployed friend. Always doing the most random thing on a Tuesday morning. One day he's kayaking in British Columbia, the next he's joined an MLM scam. He has a new cat? He adopted him from Istanbul on that trip no one knows about. He's drinking fresh lemonade? He actually volunteers with disabled elderly and Doris gives him lemons from her tree. Knows how to cook a turkey. Unclear if he's homeless or not, usually sleeping on a friend's couch or at a random woman's place (still on the couch)

[almacambiondaughterofsaleos]

It's More Than Just A Mistake, Charlie

This comment just rubs me so much the wrong way because they are not here just for making mistakes but for as Adam and Lute showed continually making evil decisions through life and having no remorse for it. And again we see a lot of examples of it not just being mistakes but also horrible actions that wound them in hell. Seriously, look at the things the sinner do and don't downplay it as mistakes.

Seriously, these images above would disprove that made a few mistakes bs. They are horrible people who are willing to be evil pos and get away with it. And again Valentino is the prime example and after being licked by him you would think she would reevaluate why Adam and Lute aren't keen on redeeming sinners, because they do shit like this. Seriously, there is a whole cannibal town that glorifies eating people. And again that party scene with Sir Pentious where it's supposed to be a test to show Angel could get into heaven, but ignores the fact that everyone allowed Pentious to be sexually assaulted which again shows how skewed the show's priorities are.

It makes the narrative over at the episode of "Cherub" even more skewed because the idea was the Cherubs were obviously opportunists just trying to make Lipton turn over a new leaf, while it's obvious he was a pos man who should just die. However, Hazbin Hotel expects us to just see him as a man who made mistakes alongside his equally evil partner. It's again an example of confused morals because it seems like it just wants us to side with whatever protagonist is there and they have the narrative's favor despite the other side having a point.

Also from Hazbin itself I think a big example of the just made a few mistakes is Angel Dust. The current series emphasizes his promiscuity and drug use and treats it as if that was all he did in life and weren't really that bad (which I would disagree). However, I do think this is a result of whitewashing what has been previously known about Angel Dust is that he had mafia ties and that means he wasn't just making minor mistakes but full blown into crime and do some evil shit. And we are supposed to be siding with Emily why he's not in heaven, when he just recently was still being someone who reveled in being a sinner. It's a reason why the rehabilitation theme doesn't work because it doesn't treat the issues the characters have as severe as it is. They treat them as if they are just pissing on the floor and not the fact some of these guys like Angel Dust have blood on their hands. It's almost like due to her biases Charlie has a rose tinted view of things that contradicts what awful people they were and continued to be in life.

And let's talk about Adam, this guy is just an example to try to downplay how sinners made those mistakes by portraying him as a one dimensional immature sadist in other to make it seem barbaric. However, it still doesn't erase that monsters still end up down there despite the bs ass pull that the angels themselves don't know how to get into heaven. Let's be honest from what we have seen from the sinners they are in hell for a reason and there is no attempts to think why they should be given a second chance after showing what pos they are still. And again the show doesn't want to admit that these sinners aren't that way because of never being given a chance they probably had chances and squashed them. But again Charlie has to be right and never challenged so she can't think about how her stance can be shaky.

I do think the dimissmal of just mistakes they made actually goes against the spirit of redeeming them because it doesn't really understand the gravity of what these sinners did. It's because according to the narrative (and Charlie) these are just souls that didn't have direction and need another chance. Sorry, but they did have direction in life and they have at one point stop being given chances. And again the series doesn't offer one example of a true sinner who didn't deserve to be down there since Vaggie herself was retconned to be an angel. The series really does wonders to shoot itself in the foot due to not understanding and tackling what redemption takes. And one thing it needs to be said that people have to admit they aren't always the victims and sometimes are the victimizers who have not only hurt themselves and others in their pursuit of sin.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Febuwhump Day 7 - Suffering in Silence

LU in Healthcare! Feat. Warriors and Legend, PTSD and difficulties with empathy and difficult patients

XXX

Warriors rolled his eyes as he heard the patient yelling.

Legend shot him a bemused, somewhat disconcerted look. "Look, I get people can be dramatic, but he is hurting."

"He bruised his hip," Warriors snapped. "I've seen the films. Literally nothing is broken. He has no medical history to denote that this is aggravating something that already exists. And he's screaming for the entire ER to hear. He needs to suck it up. I gave him an ice pack to hold him over until the pain meds get verified by the pharmacist, I'm not denying him anything, but this is excessive."

"Yes," Legend agreed as the man screamed again, making people pause and turn their heads. "It is excessive. But maybe he's never had a bruised bone before. They hurt. He's in pain. People express pain differently."

"Obviously," Warriors grumbled, rubbing his forehead as a headache developed with another yell from the room.

Legend watched him, his eyes becoming more discerning. "Link... just because you've been through some serious shit doesn't mean everyone else should understand that. I... I get that the military makes you build a tolerance, but not everyone goes through that."

Warriors paused, closing his eyes and trying to regulate his breathing as the patient hit the call bell.

"I... look, I can tell you're angry, and I can't really... understand why, but--"

"Because people here get to just make demands and expect us to wait on them hand and foot when others are dealing with so much worse and never ask for such things," Warriors snapped before he could stop himself.

Yes. This patient was in pain. Yes. He would treat said pain. It was cruel not to do so. But that wasn't the issue, it was the entitlement, the demands that came with it. I'm in pain, I can't reach something that's within reach. I'm in pain, give me food. Why can't I get fucking food? My mouth is so fucking dry and you're denying me that?! Warriors had heard it again and again, had explained multiple times to multiple people that if someone is going to get surgery they can't ingest anything or they might vomit and aspirate during surgery, he'd seen a grandmother with a broken hip politely deny pain medication and apologize for even needing to be there while others like this one made sure to let the entire world know he had a bruise.

Fuck. Warriors chewed on his lip. Civilian life was certainly different.

Legend huffed mildly. Although the army nurse expected some snippy remark, his friend instead bounced his eyebrows briefly and looked away. "Yeah, I get that." But then the travel nurse looked back at him, holding eye contact. "But you can't take it out on him."

He's still a person. He still deserves respect. He's in a rough spot and you know it.

Warriors sighed and nodded, walking away. He needed space to calm down, somewhere he couldn't hear the screaming.

The screaming. The agonizing screaming of his brothers-in-arms as they lost legs, as they bled to death with nothing he could do about it. The patient's yells pitched higher, morphing into a woman's yells instead, and Warriors felt his heart stop. His world shifted, he wasn't in an ER anymore, not in Castle Town, not in--

"Hey, looks like pharmacy verified the med," Legend said from the nurses' station. "I'll give him the medicine, okay?"

Warriors swallowed, leaning against the wall, counting to ten over and over and over. "Yeah. Okay."

[dazai-anon-archive-taketwo]

Your answer is complete bullshit. What the dazai anon did is nowhere as serious as what you are doing. You want her personal life basically sabotaged, and all she did was send you a couple of cruel messages that made you have a bad day, guess what? That’s everyday for the dazai anon. She’s just fucking tired of the treatment her favorite character faces form this shitty fandom, even his own “stans” join in the hate against him but there seems to be some hypocrisy against chuuya or even the fucking pedophile mori.

All she did was send mean things out of frustration and anger, she deserves to feel that way. I don’t agree with death threats, but nothing about her behavior is “harassment” or “grooming minors” you’re all dumb fucking idiotic children and it shows seeing how you label petty internet fights as “crimes”, at the end of the day, did you lose your degree? did you lose your job? are you in constant fear and suicidal ideations because you’re scared you’re going to jail over THE FICTIONAL CHARACTER CHUUYA NAKAHARA of all things???? No! You are completely fine and living your life with no fears or anxieties as she is. Your blog is also completely useless btw! No one is gonna make a case on this, your parents didn’t which is why they asked u to delete the previous blog. Follow their advice again and leave the Dazai anon the FUCK alone and have the balls to actually face her without holding legal threats over her head. You pieces of shits.

What she does is tell people to kill themselves and say that she hopes they die, that their pets die, that they fail their finals, that their mental health/life gets worse. All over fictional characters, and we are just documenting it. At most she might get a fine, or have her Tumblr/Twitter privileges removed. I'm not sure how that second one would play out but I know people have been banned from sites.

As for the. having a bad day bit. I've mentioned this to her before but I have several disorders that make everyday hard for me too, most notably that I've been either passively or actively suicidal for the last 6 years. How do you think her damn near constant hate and harassment of me and my friends affects my mental state? I say it doesn't get to me because it doesn't incapacitate me and I don't want my friends to worry. The shit builds up. I have blocked her, I have reported her, I have ignored her, I have asked her to leave me alone. None of that has worked.

I understand the frustration she goes through, that's the whole reason I don't interact with the pjo fandom anymore. I was taking everything personally, I couldn't play nice with others and I realized that I was problem so I stopped interacting with it. That is my oldest special interest that has kept me alive multiple times. I do not post about it. Because it is unreasonable for me to ask everyone else in the fandom to only see it my way.

She has become the problem here and needs to deal with that. It is not fair to everyone else here for her to decide that her way is the only right way and everyone who disagrees is against her specifically. She absolutely has every right to feel angry or frustrated but she does not have the right to take that out on everyone else, if she doesn't want to block people and respect people blocking her she needs to leave until she can play nice.

As for the legal action, she can stop harassing people right now and case will likely go nowhere. And I have tried to talk to her about the things she does without "threatening legal action" and she called me a cunt and stupid and jobless and a dickrider and a doormat. She isn't willing to talk things out and treat others with respect, so we have this blog. And we have gotten a few asks regarding legal action, we haven't answered them publicly because Kavya tends to harass anyone mentioned here.

-2

[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Halloween Head Swap

I was so psyched for Halloween this year because it was the first time I could spend it with my boyfriend, Julian. I'd never been a big horror guy myself, but he goes nuts for spooky thrills. I'd always wanted to go to one of those Halloween events, like haunted houses or corn mazes, and I thought being with Julian was a good enough reason to go. We were looking up events happening nearby on my laptop, and I thought I found a cool one.

"Let's see." Julian read the website.

"What's it say?"

"Haunted house. Ooo! Haunted corn mazes. Nice! Magic show. Magic show?"

"I love Magic shows!"

"I guess it could be a Halloween thing. Wouldn't be surprised if they just replaced the rabbit in a hat with something scary instead. Or maybe the assistant wears a ghost costume or something."

"But wait." I pointed at the bottom of the page. "It says absolutely no costumes are allowed. Aren't you supposed to wear a costume?"

"Yeah, for costume parties and trick-or-treating and stuff. But for things like this where they have paid actors and stuff in the haunted events, they don't want randos in costume, in order to keep up with the vibes."

"That makes sense." I noticed another part of the website that said "18+ only for the whole event."

"Ooooo," we both said in unison.

"That better mean they have strippers and vodka."

"Hell yeah!"

"Now where is this again?"

"Lemme see. Some place called Caneville." He looked up the town info. "Aw shit."

"What? Too far?"

"No, just a 30 min drive. But it's got such a tiny population that it's probably one of those hick towns. You know those places always give me the creeps. Like everyone seems to stare at you because you're an outsider."

"But don't you like creepy things? We can ignore the background of the town and enjoy the festivities." I kissed him.

"Hey, I guess. Sure. As long as you promise me one thing..." He placed his hand on my bulge which had now grown.

The 31st arrived, and so we got dressed and left at 3pm. The drive there was pretty normal, up until we reached the town. There was an unexpected amount of traffic leading into the town itself. As we continued along, we found that all the cars were headed to the festival.

"Woah, I didn't think it would be this packed!" Julian said excitedly.

"Me neither…it's weird though. Why would such a large number of people be coming to some small-town festival? It doesn't make sense."

"Dunno. Maybe they paid extra to get their event on the top of everyone's search results? I think you can do that."

"Maybe. Well, it better be good then."

Luckily, we found a parking spot in time, before too many people showed up. The place was pretty big and was decorated nicely for Halloween; jack-o-lanterns lined the fences, ghost shaped lights hung above us, and the grass was covered in hay. We noticed the sign advertising the magic show started at 5pm, so we checked out the other attractions first. Making our way through the crowds, it was somewhat obvious who was from this little town, and who drove here. There were people in all shapes and sizes, but a lot of the older people were wearing formal clothes and usually had grumpy looks on their faces - probably upset that there was so much diversity this year.

We were walking along, when we saw two punk guys, one with a red mohawk, and one with brown, searching around looking confused. Red mohawk made eye contact with me and approached.

"Hey, do you guys know where the free booze is?" He didn't even look old enough to drink but I didn't really care.

"Free booze? How come I didn't know about this?" Julian asked.

"What do you mean? It was in huge letters on the ad. Couldn't have missed it."

"I don't remember seeing anything like that though," I said. 

"Damn, nobody else seems to know either. Did I get some fake version of something? Everything else seems legit."

"That's weird yeah."

"Anyway, I'm Ian. Let me and my buddy know if you ever find the free booze. Fuck, I forgot I was gonna meet my boyfriend here too. Shit, well catch you later." He seemed like such a weird guy but hey, he's probably just 18 and desperate for a chance to drink.

5pm arrived and we headed to the magic show. As we expected, there was a pretty big crowd. I was so excited though, and it looked like everyone else was too. It started when a chubby guy in a tuxedo walked on stage.

"Friends and folks, welcome to The Great Guillermo magic show! I am the Great Guillermo!" He took a bow, and everyone applauded.

"Now for my first trick, I will make this sword float!" He took out a sword and set it on the floor. It began floating all the way up to his head when he did some hand motions. The crowd cheered once again. It was glowing blue as well, which was strange because he didn't announce anything like that.

"For my next trick, I will need one volunteer from the audience." The crowd seemed hesitant, most likely because the idea of a sword related trick would make some queasy. Luckily, after a bit, a guy around my age raised his hand and stepped onto the stage.

"All right! What is your name, young man?"

"Tyler."

"Ok Tyler! For your part, stand in that spot real good and don't move!"

"Oh ok." He did a bit of a nervous laugh. The Great Guillermo took the sword and aimed it at his own neck. What in the world was he doing? It started glowing blue once again and went through his neck! The audience gasped. I knew it was all a trick, but I expected blood or something. Instead, what happened was unbelievable. His head hopped right off his body! Completely still alive, it fell to the floor and the body took a bow. The crowd went wild.

"Holy shit man, that was so cool! How’d he do that?" Julian turned to look at me.

"I have no idea!"

Normally with tricks like this he would go back to normal to start the next trick, but he was still a head and began talking again.

"Now this is only the first part of my trick. Here comes the part where my volunteer must help." His body, still moving on its own, took the sword and aimed it at Tyler's neck. When that blue glow returned, The Great Guillermo's head hopped over to the left of Tyler. In an instant the sword sliced Tyler's head off, just like it did before. Though, instead of hopping off and hitting the floor, it seemed to fly off in the direction of The Great Guillermo's body, as if it was a magnet. When it got to the neck, it plopped itself on top, replacing The Great Guillermo's head.

Tyler's head on The Great Guillermo's body was a funny sight, seeing a skinny and young-looking guy with such a large body. He began moving and reacting, as if Tyler was actually controlling it. Tyler's head looked down and widened his eyes at the sight.

"Woooahh, this is trippy!" The Great Guillermo's head did the same and flew onto the empty body like a magnet. The audience began laughing when they saw the full image. They just swapped their heads!

"This is even crazier; how did they do that? Man, I gotta know now!" Julian was getting so excited now. It made me so happy to see him in a good mood. Tyler, on his new chubby body, realized he could move his legs and started walking around.

"Oh wow, I can move? This is weird." It looked so real. But it must be fake right? I know a lot of times magic shows pretend to pick out a random audience member, but really it was all planned from the start. The mood changed a bit when Tyler started becoming restless.

"Hey, uh could I have my body back now? This is actually feeling kinda uncomfortable."

"Of course, my boy! Right after you learn your lesson!" 

"Lesson?" My gut told me that this was no longer part of the act.

"The lesson of hard work of course! I may have been a little overweight, but it's not impossible to work it all off! And when you do, it should be just like your former one! Well…maybe a bit older! In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying your nice slim body!" The Great Guillermo seemed like a completely different person at this point and began laughing maniacally.

"What? Hey this isn't funny anymore! What's your problem?!"

"Oh, don't worry, Tyler. You won't be alone. In fact," He looked at the audience with a gleam in his eye. "Everyone else will be starting their own unique journeys!" He quickly grabbed the sword and pointed it at the audience. They all screamed when not only did it start the blue glow, but it began multiplying as well! Sword after sword came out of the original; there must've been hundreds! It seemed like we all knew what was about to happen next, because the crowd turned around and ran. Julian was by my side…at least at first. Soon enough the stampede plowed through us, desperate to escape, and we were separated.

"Julian! Meet me at the car!" I screamed, not sure if he heard me or not. I ran away from the stage area, dodging unfortunate heads flying everywhere. The Great Guillermo began laughing again.

"Now everyone will learn the true value of hard work! Whether you want to change your new body or not, adapting to your new life is the fun part!"

When I got to the parking areas, I was shocked at the horrible sight. There were people with the same idea as me hiding in cars…only the blue swords were able to pass right through them to slice their heads. It didn't stop there because the decapitated heads seemed to be in an ethereal state, where they could also go through the walls. That bastard magician. He planned all this! I'm screwed! While I was in shock, I could feel something hit me in the neck. It didn't hurt at all, but I felt dizzy. I watched as the world went in a loop, and then back to normal. I could see myself flying through the air, but when I looked down, there was nothing. No body. I could still feel my hands and the rest of my body, but I was far enough away that I couldn't check to see if it was moving.

I couldn't change the direction I was heading in, but I could lean a little to the left or right. I'm guessing I was homing in on the nearest headless body, so I wondered if I could direct myself away from a bad one? I saw a headless body in front of me, so I jerked to the left and managed to dodge it…for a few seconds. It turned out there was a body on the other side of the fence I was on, so I flew right through it and attached myself to the neck.

I looked down and almost screamed. It was a fat body wearing a light blue dress shirt, with a tie and suspenders. I would imagine I was also wearing dress pants to go along with it, but I couldn't see past my huge belly! My waist size must’ve been double what it was before! Judging by the clothes, this probably belonged to a man that lived in the town.

I pushed my hand against the belly and felt it jiggle, sending vibrations throughout the rest of my flesh. I'm glad I wasn't a floating head anymore but I'm not too happy about being a fat guy either! I must’ve looked like Tyler did with his twink head on an obese frame. Luckily, there was a public restroom nearby, so I walked in and locked the door. I was scared to see myself in the mirror, but knew it had to do it, so I shuffled over to see my reflection.

Oh god, I was massive. It really did look strange, almost funny in a way. Normally when you gain this much weight, you also gain a double chin. But my chin and head were exactly how they always were. But yet, my body was huge. At least I wasn’t wearing some trashy looking clothes or something. Formal wear was nice, even though it felt tight on me. How do guys like this go shopping? I must’ve been wearing 5XL clothes! The curious thought of seeing what it looked like underneath crossed my mind. I guess it was going to have to be done eventually…and my chest felt like it was being crushed under the shirt I was wearing. I started by unclipping the suspenders. The front two were easy, but the back two I had to guide my hands around my oversized ass in order to make out where they were. Then I lifted my collar to take off the tie and unbuttoned the first two shirt buttons. I expected to be wearing an undershirt, since I felt so compressed, but no. The dress shirt was all it took to feel cramped. I reached for the bottom of my shirt that was tucked in and pulled up. When it was fully untucked, the belly promptly fell back down, slapped my thighs, and jiggled for a few seconds. Once it was all unbuttoned, I opened up the shirt and took it off.

Fuck. I wasn’t just big; I was morbidly obese. My man tits stuck out, love handles hung all around, and the loose skin left a crevice that covered my belly button. I really hated this. What’s Julian going to think? He might break up with me. No one would ever want to date a lardass like me. I put the shirt on, lifted up my belly in order to tuck it all back in, and walked out the door. I didn’t bother putting the tie and suspenders on again. I didn’t even need the suspenders anyway because my pants were tight enough over my big hips.

I started walking back to the festival area in order to find a clue to where Julian went. There were still blue swords flying around, but they ignored me completely. I guess they don’t go after those who had already been head swapped. Walking felt really weird because it was more like a waddle. Every step felt like I was causing an earthquake, which made it worse considering I couldn't even see my own feet! Not to mention I was sweating like a pig, even though I hadn't been walking long. I could feel the sweat stains forming in my armpits and since I had no undershirt on, it was probably obvious. I heard a familiar voice, so I turned around and noticed a familiar red mohawk. It was Ian! He was much chubbier than when I saw him before. He was talking with another guy, who lifted his t-shirt up to touch his belly.

"This is like a fuckin dream come true! Look at this gut!" Ian seemed excited to gain weight. Was that guy his boyfriend or something?

"We gotta hope that this body is good at staying big though! I want you to be my chubby bunny!" He said, flashing a grin. As I approached them, they stared for a second, but then smiled really wide. 

"Hey! Wait. You're that guy I met before. Remember? But you're like, so fuckin obese now!"

"Yeah…"

"That's awesome man!"

"Not really, I was fine being a twink before."

"Yeah man, but now you're a fuckin beast! You could like murder someone just by squashing them."

"I'll keep that in mind in case I need to murder someone," I said sarcastically.

"So, wait, where's your boyfriend?"

"No clue. I'm looking for him."

"Well good luck man. And hey, being big isn't all that bad you know."

"Yeah, maybe."

I got to the festival area to find a couple people still frequenting, but it was obvious they were head swapped. I suppose I was lucky mine ended up matching my skin color. At least the weird young head and old body combination isn't impossible naturally.

I noticed a shed area with a hastily made sign that said, "pick up your phones here." That was a good idea actually. Afterall, most people would've had their phones in the pockets of their old bodies. Maybe if Julian already found his, I can text him. Luckily, I skipped a step because I found him searching through the pile of phones inside. His body didn't look too different, at least from the sides.

"Julian!"

"Petey! You're…wow." 

"I know…this is going to take some getting used to."

"Hey no biggie. You're still you. You have your head at least. You're just a big guy now."

"Yeah, it's weird. Do you think there's any way to change back?"

"Don't think so. When I went back to the stage, the magician guy wasn't there. Fitting. Guess he just wanted chaos and well, he got it."

"Can't believe I'm stuck like this. But at least you don't look too different, maybe a bit bigger and older."

"Oh no, I've changed a lot actually. Here." He unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a flabby old man's chest.”

"Oh."

"I know right. Looks like I took the body of an old guy."

"Does it feel weird?"

"Yeah kinda. A little uncomfortable. I really just need to take off these clothes. I can feel my underwear being pulled up way too high!" I laughed. I'm glad Julian was still finding ways to make light out of a bad situation. "My back does kinda hurt though. But it's ok! We'll just work out and all like normal. Plenty of old guys are in shape!"

“Makes me so mad though. Those old guys that got our bodies are probably enjoying their nice abs right now.”

“Well, in your case, he’s in for a surprise when he sees how loose you are in the back…” I started laughing again.

“You got that right! He was probably straight, so it’ll be quite the shock. But I guess this means I’ll have to start loosening up all over again.” I touched my huge ass. “I guess I’ll have to work out too. I have a long way to go.”

"Oor…you could stay like you are. At least for now. Didn't wanna say it before but I'm totally finding you hot right now. Never fucked a fat guy before."

"Really? You like this?"

"Yep! Hey, it's still Halloween, so how about we go home, and I can feed you some candy or something." The thought of Julian feeding me was making me hard for some reason. Why do I feel like I want to stay this big? It's crazy! But I was so hungry, so I agreed.

"That sounds…pretty hot actually. Sure." Julian smirked.

"Happy Halloween my big boy." He slapped my gut.

"Happy Halloween…"

[blasphemecel]

ngl still being a kaiser fan after 261 is lame

Omg this ask got me so tight when I got to it I had to hop on mylaptop to type my essay

Ok this is a little Personal and some of yall aren gonna fuck with me after this but it's ok . Kaiser is a character I identify with because he's a good portrayal of someone with NPD so WE WILL GET INTO IT!

So like that being said. What do you mean 'Still liking Kaiser after the leaks is lame' like genuinely what do you mean. I just woke up but are you guys like SURPRISED by this. I liked him when he was introduced and this is what he was acting like. There have been A HUNDRED more chapters of him acting the same way past introduction. And now he's still acting like it. I understand if you just hate him right off the bat that makes sense but this doesn't really. Even if you're one of those people who just liked him for the backstory reveal because you have a I Can Treat You Better hero complex re:abuse victims that behavior WAS shown EVEN IN 260. "I hit the ball but it doesn't hit back" - the author has a very specific way of writing and this was VERY much intentional

Also like I understand there might be an initial shock when reading such words. Like it's Unpleasant it's Ugly. But also it boils down to a State of mind which personally I've observed as common among victims of severe trauma. "These people are born 'humans'. Different from me, they were born 'wanted humans'." = I hate people who weren't hurt the same way I was because I am jealous and bitter, I'm so jealous and bitter it feels good to me to make others feel like shit. And I'm not trying to get on some Hurt People Hurt People bullshit because that shit is annoying and apologia but what I'm trying to say is that sometimes Trauma makes you unpleasant and ugly and erratic and I appreciate that Kaneshiro actually wrote it out. Also like that feeling by itself isn't inherently evil. I think it's a very natural response! In this case Kaiser goes too far not by experiencing this emotion but by acting on it.

So now with THAT out of the way too, I think we need to sit down and think more into the Ness situation. So first he says, "I can't accept kindness because all I know is malice. If anything I think malice makes life easier." Then he goes to say he is specifically looking for someone to make a "dog to his malice" and reads a psychology book to achieve that. Like first of all I'm sorry but that is so comically evil it's hilarious to me. He read a textbook to be a more efficient male manipulator. But anyway the way I understand that isn't a deep underlying evil within him but a need for control. I think he believes everyone will hurt and disorient him unless he feels like he's Controlling them. From an abusive household the only relationship dynamic he knows is person of authority - inferior party. His only friend is Ness and the only person he feels safe around being Ness is because of he tells himself Ness is his "dog" and therefore won't ever raise a hand to him. And that's because he thinks anyone who isn't his dog/under his control will do exactly that.

And so... If we go from there, from the parallel we understand Kaiser didn't see his meeting with Ness the same way Ness sees it. However, that doesn't mean Kaiser's view is the objective truth. I think they're both UNRELIABLE and EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. So what that means is that Ness sees his time together with Kaiser through a more glorified lens, while Kaiser denies himself thinking of Ness as a companion because that puts him in a vulnerable spot, so to maintain his feeling of being in control he exerts distance and tells himself Heh we aren't actually friends because he doesn't even know that one time I giggled at him in the showers I was actually just manipulating him all along because I am sooo evil and untouchable 😏. Like do we actually take this perception at face value here because to me it just seems like a Scared and Cowardly person trying to act out his idea of a strong person because the ONLY other time he's been in any meaningful proximity to someone he got beat up and degraded.

With that I also think Kaiser is very much narcissist posturing. He'slying to himself to make himself seem invulnerable and self-aggrandizing himself through his malice (I think pretending we are 100% evil and irredeemable makes a lot of us feel safe because it seems inhuman and people are easily hurt so you don't Ever want to be a multidimensional person with layered personality traits). Because like if you think about it without the emotional reaction of "I hope Ness kills you you stupid whore" that we all have... He actually isn't doing anything that big. Like in his head he's like Heh I'm soooo Patrick Bateman I have all the control 😏 but all he did was like find a guy to play football with.

Like he's trying to say to himself that he's all that. Sure he does insult Ness and that's not good! But he didn't pull off some Complicated deeply horrific scheme. I do not believe Kaiser has an objective view of himself. It really takes away the power from all of that when you realize what he's doing is just Very Pathetic and Paranoid and Intimacy Averse. "I can't have normal friends let me get this guy in on my master servant roleplay and I'll act like he's not enjoying it too because it'll make me feel more powerful" Men will do anything but go to counseling

Addendum: This is also not Kaiser. Now I don't know what kind of person Kaiser is but considering I read it as him suffering from NPD/a disordered personality that means he doesn't have a "real" identity most of the time, this is a shell we're seeing. He just has a mask maybe there's something underneath maybe there isn't and he's empty inside, but the point is he is the kind of character who has a specific way they want to portray themselves and will lie to both themselves and the audience to achieve it. Yes I believe that includes the I'm a male manipulator evilest person alive 😏 shtick too (I think the actual truth is probably somewhere in the middle of his and Ness's view. Most likely they're both incorrect).

Notice how Barou and Rin overcame things? That is because they have a real ego. Kaiser doesn't have a "real ego"/sense of self right now, all he has is his selfish act. I believe that is intentional because I think the Blue Lock mangaka shows a good grasp and understanding of psychology. The development is pointing towards him actually getting one during this match we'll see. Hey he might even change and grow as a person if that happens but I wouldn't get too overly optimistic!

Also we need to understand that we only see these people playing football we don't know what the fuck he's like outside of that. I currently don't have any reason to believe he's anything beyond rude and insufferable when like talking to people who aren't his football rivals and in Blue Lock on principle I believe everyone is at least 30% a better more bearable person off the field.

And to finish off my demented rant some of yall are fucking HYPOCRITICAL. So when Isagi takes joy in ruining people's dreams it's fine but when Kaiser does it he needs to kill himself? Let's be very serious.

TL;DR Kaiser's behavior makes total sense, his 261 characterization falls in line with everything we've seen of him before so there's no need for shock, and he looked good being dysfunctional and messed up too

[ca-suffit]

This is probably not the place for this but I'm so sad Claudia died and we didn't get to see more of her relationship with Madeleine.. :(</3 I know she had to die but I was so attached to Claudia and their future. Wish the show had given them a bit more time.. I hope Delainey comes back andCLAUDIA HAUNTS LESTAT'S EVERY WAKING MOMENT to be on topic I don't know how you manage this blog ca I'd be having anxiety every day unable to sleep and throwing fits all over the place damn!!! You handle the complex issues of racism admirably and I'm here for it but I'm glad it ain't me!!

We can talk about it! There's a lot I was thinking of about Claudia and Madeleine anyway.

I mean....obviously the tragedy exists bcuz this happened, especially bcuz it did not *need* to happen. It also shows two women struck down bcuz they were more capable of handling vampirism than the men around them were, even Claudia with all of her immense disadvantages at never (physically) being an adult. She took down Lestat p much on her own *and* was building a happier life after struggling through so much and.....then all this.

I also think something the fandom overlooks is how much agency this relationship gave Claudia. I'm not asking anyone to engage with the age gap stuff if that's a personal issue, but I've found it interesting to compare how this relationship has been treated alongside book relationships with similar issues (which are outright abusive as well).

Fandoms don't tend to care about women anyway, let alone black women, so there's already that. But then there's the issue of the age gap itself. It's hard to tell what could be racially motivated or not since this is a show only relationship and show only fans might not come from the books and have knowledge of how prevalent this theme is in them. It still feels like this is the main relationship in this fandom as a whole tho where age tends to get brought up more (which is "funny" to parallel how much ppl initially complained that Claudia "looked too old" to be a teenager once she was first cast, then again when a darker actress took over the role), or ppl look to blame Claudia for her taste in partners bcuz of Madeleine's past. All the characters, especially white ones, have p fucked up shit going on. Just bcuz ppl want to pretend everything about Lestat is a lie doesn't mean it is, Santiago is also a shithead, it goes on. As I've said in other asks, white women tend to make up fandom, so fandom gets upset when white women are shown as less than perfect somehow too. All of it doesn't surprise me. It's just stuff to observe and take notes on. I feel like ppl dismiss examining Claudia or Madeleine more for several reasons, whereas if they were men, especially white men, they'd be a main feature. Hell, Nicki has gotten more analysis for 2 mins on screen so far than most ppl give to any of this.

Anyway, I'm also looking forward to her coming back to haunt everyone's ass :)

Also thank u for the nice comments<3

[agentoffangirling]

I feel like we need to discuss how creators' respect for a character influences the project they're doing

If you don't know what I'm talking about, I don't blame you, I had no idea how to word that, but you'll get it in a sec. Let's take a look at both "WandaVision" and "Loki"

See, when Marvel started production on WandaVision and brought in Jac Shaeffer and Matt Shakman and all those people, it was very clear that there was a singular goal among the team: how can we depict Wanda Maximoff well? How can we treat her character with dignity and grace? How can we discuss her psyche in a respectful manner? And everyone delievered

Elizabeth Olsen and Paul Bettany gave downright beautiful performances, the supporting cast played their role well. The writers did research on Scarlet Witch's character and her comics, everyone fully understood what type of project this was and they used it to its full potential. I'm no fan of Olsen for numerous reasons, I'm not even a big Wanda Maximoff fan. But I can fully admit that "WandaVision" is a stellar story, and every person on the team poured their heart into it

And hey, let's also look at the promotions for this show. When Schaeffer and others were interviewed, in no moment did they mock Wanda's character or what she goes through in the series. They treated her very similarly to how they treated her on the show, discussing the deeper parts of her character with an obvious interest. They like Wanda. They want the best for her. They want to make a story Wanda would be proud of

But now to "Loki". I've said my pieces on the Loki series too many times to count, so I will keep this brief. From the very beginning we know that Waldron was not interested in developing "Loki", only to develop his original script (which is pretty shitty anyway). He wanted to make a time-travel, sci-fi, romance type story, and Loki was the character he was saddled with

Now, this doesn't mean that he still couldn't develop his script, in fact he did, and I could think of dozens of ways that type of story could work with Loki. There's a lot of potential there. But Waldron never cared. He never cared to develop Loki. He never cared to examine his character past pop culture. He never cared to make Loki fans happy, only himself

Look at the promos he gives! He refers to Loki as a "little shit" multiple times, talks all about how they're taking him in a different direction (aka completely tearing down his character), it is so obvious he just wanted to fulfill his own personal fantasies. At least Kate Herron treats the subject material with some ounce of respect; Waldron proudly proclaims he's never seen it

And to quickly switch gears here, it's very similar to Kevin Feige vs Brad Winderbaum's view on "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." Where Feige dismisses it, giving it general statements and never hinting at a possible future, Winderbaum speaks of it with a clear love of the series. He's all but admitted that he wants the characters back in the MCU, and if someone like him is heading that, I just might trust him with it. Feige is Waldron. Winderbaum is Schaeffer

In the end, it all just makes me wonder, why didn't Loki fans get their WandaVision? Why did we get the creator who puts down his characters? Why did we get the story that only existed to introduce a multiverse? Why did we get the short stick?

Loki fans deserve a WandaVision. After a literal decade of waiting for a solo project, we should've gotten the respectful, genuine creator. Pretty much every other character got it-- why not us?

[not-goldy]

I mean, forget Jimin stans for a sec. Even tkkrs and Jungkook stans think Jungkook doesn't like Jimin. They are convinced. And the fandom until the very end thought Tae-kook would enlist together and were surprised when it was Jikook enlisting together.

Everyone out there acknowledges that Tae likes Jimin, they acknowledge Suga/RM/jhope/Jin like Jimin. But Jungkook?

Never seen anyone in the fandom question if Jungkook likes Tae or not. Or if he likes the other members or not. But when it comes to Jimin, even non shippers aren't very sure about how Jungkook feels. I have tons of non shipper army moots on my second account and most of them think JK isn't close with Jimin.

If there are so many people who don't think Jungkook likes Jimin even as a friend and bandmate, then that's on Jungkook, his behaviour, his words, his actions towards Jimin.

Cause no one says Jimin doesn't like Jungkook. Jimim has always made it clear he likes all the members.

JK doesn't have to prove anything to Jimin stans. I agree. But if he can't prove to Jimin he likes him, then that's a problem. I don't blame Jimin for detaching himself and going about his path.

Yea they focus on whether or not he likes Jimin because that issue was once a big deal between Jimin and Jungkook.

Had Jimin not vocalized his concerns I don't think anyone would have had an occasion to use that against them to begin with.

He is the one who kept saying JK didn't like him and what not. And to me it's no different from Yoongi who was also saying he liked Jimin but Jimin didn't really like him back- and yet no one goes, welp Jimin doesn't like Yoongi let's go to war.

And perhaps if Jimin was the type of boy to shove Yoongi around, Crack jokes about his height it would have fueled this whole idea that Jimin didn't like Yoongi.

Jimin didn't have to "prove" He liked Yoongi. Literally all he did was be himself with yoongi to dispel that notion. because he is a much more calmer gentler graceful person by nature nobody makes a big deal about their dynamic the way they do or did with Jikook.

If you ask me, I think that whole this person doesn't like me or that person doesn't like me was just an immature attempt to get attention and to get their needs of affection met cos the only way some people feel they can get their needs met is through toxic manipulation tactics like these.

They were young and didn't know any better and that behavior is so heavily normalized in their own pop culture.

And we're going to ignore a whole conversation had between Tae and Kook in soop with Tae literally saying he wanted JK to treat him a certain way but Jk refused to when they were younger. Isn't that evidence shit was wrong between them too?

Just because they had a mature way of addressing their dynamic later on doesn't mean it didn't happen with them either back in the day. They just didn't take about it like Jimin did.

I'm sure however Jimin felt about Jungkook's attitude towards him, he could have handled it better than he did but they were of course just teenagers and hadn't developed the communication skills required to foster a healthy dynamic.

Whatever anyone thinks of Jungkook, Jimin is the only member to have openly voiced out and questioned him on his behavior towards him without mincing words. The execution may have been wrong but he did vocalize his needs to him regardless when the members only brought it up when he did something nice for others especially Jimin.

The others when they talked about this would do so indirectly or passive aggressively such as when they said he acts anti social with them, wouldn't get them birthday presents. Tae said passively that JK ignored him when they cams stopped rolling and yet no one makes a big deal out of that right?

In recent times, when they were talking about Jungkook not posting or gifting members Jimin was the only one who said he would punch him in the throat if he didn't do anything for him either. Yet it seems the others weren't too happy about that either.

And you are right, no one is hyper fixating on these moments and blowing it out of proportions except when it comes to jikook because Jikook is all that matters to most homophobic people. And perhaps because Jimin draws attention to those issues when he voices them out.

I really don't care about people's perception of anyone.

Does it matter how people are perceiving them if these people are consistently proven wrong about them over and over???

Oh you thought Tae Kook were going to serve together? Jikook went and now what??

You thought Tae Kook were the closest, turns out it's Jikook and now what??

Yall not tired of being wrong????

Must be exhausting

Hope you stab your toe

[possessionisamyth]

okay, hi, im back extremely briefly but just hear me out this time!!!

So pre-time skip Sanji goes up to Usopp and asks the age old question "how did you know you were trans?" At first, Usopp's hackles go up for a split second. She hasnt been able to physically transition anything, just socially, and it's hard enough getting anyone outside her crew to believe her. Therefore, this does rub her the wrong way until she recognizes Sanji's tone as being genuine and not condescending. She notices the hesitancy in his posture and the concern in his eyes before she takes up her usual role of lightening the mood.

Usopp explains how it's kinda funny actually. That Ninjin from her village had a pet cat who absolutely hated all men except for Usopp. At the time, Usopp bragged about being one of the world's greatest animal tamers, but it was the hint she needed to start really looking at herself. Sanji interrupts with a hand on his chin in thought and says something like "okay, yeah, animals confirm your gender" and Usopp stops him right there. She then explains that it was actually Luffy's spiel on being themselves and following their dreams that made her take the leap with the social transitioning aspect she struggles with off of Going Merry. She asks Sanji why the question, but Sanji says he's just curious cause he's only really ever run into drag queens and Usopp was far from being the type (even if her wardrobe got a little too silly sometimes). The subject changes to ideas for dinner before Sanji walks off to do his chores. Yet, the conversation sticks in the back of Usopp's mind like a little footnote.

At some point she is able to slowly start physically transitioning, and during this she catches Sanji saying things that are just kind of strange in a familiar way. She doesn't acknowledge it though. She's honestly surprised she notices half the time considering all the other shit they got going on.

Then the group is separated, and Sanji is on drag queen island for a long time. He has a lot of talks with people that make him both extremely uncomfortable, royally pissed off, or terrified and questioning. By the time his tenure on the island starts coming to a close, Sanji faces some very hard truths about how he's treated people and how he's treated himself. So, understandably, when she shows up to meet everyone at Sabaody she's a little nervous. She doesn't let it show though. She was just happy Ivankov's kindness didn't come with a drawback. She also has a little vial for a friend with her cause like, it's easier to skip where you can right?

When she runs into Zoro and he doesn't bat an eye while they get into their angry banter, Sanji starts to relax. Everyone came back different, which means they did what they were supposed to do. Get stronger to take on the new world. She thanks the sea that she isn't attracted to any of the motley men on their ship. It was a real scare with the drag queens that she might find herself pitching for the other team after the transition, but her love for women remained in full force.

This thought occurs the exact moment she sees Usopp. Three words hit Sanji like arrows piercing through her body at the sight of Usopp, which is Strong, Busty, and Beautiful. Usopp's hair was so long now??? Did her smile get even cuter???? Why the hell was she wearing the world's tiniest crop top under those suspenders??!!???

Usopp's eyes light up with something knowing that makes the nervousness return to Sanji in droves. Then Usopp smiles and says "long time no see", and her voice?!!!! Gone is that strange warble from the lingering edge of puberty, and it's been replaced with something smoother right at the bridge between a tenor and an alto in rhythm. Sanji is GONE. She is MELTING. She is BLEEDING ALL OVER HER NICE NAVY SUIT. Oh wow, she's feeling light-headed all of a sudden. She passes out. Wakes up to see she's in Usopp's arms? Passes out. Wakes up to see she's in Usopp's arms? Passes out. Chopper realizes what the hell is happening, and Usopp is switched out for a giggling Luffy. Sanji stays conscious this time.

Fishman Island happens, and things are calmer among their crew as they leave. Well, as calm as they can get for the strawhat pirates. Usopp finally finally gets a chance to corner Sanji in the kitchen because she's excited! Shared experiences and all that jazz. Sanji is both distracted and shy because Usopp is still wearing that tiny crop top that just barely covers her assets as well as showing off her abs AND Sanji didn't think she'd have to keep talking about the transitioning thing. She thought she'd be sort of done unless she ran into someone from her past about it, but she likes listening to Usopp talk about it. While Usopp is talking about all the hurdles on the island she was stuck on, Sanji remembers the little vial she asked for from Ivankov. Sanji asks Usopp to stop mid-story and gives it to her explaining that if she ever wants to just stop taking her shots, she can have Chopper administer that. No pressure obviously. Usopp can do whatever she wants and Sanji will respect her for it.

Usopp is extremely touched by the gesture, and tells Sanji she'll have Chopper hold onto it in case she does want to just go the quick way in the future. They sit in amicable silence for a little while before Usopp narrows her eyes at Sanji and asks "wait, does it change Everything?" Sanji says it does. Usopp pointedly looks down. Sanji hunches forward. Usopp repeats, "Everything?" Sanji now red faced with embarrassment shouts, "YES! EVERYTHING!" Sanji already went through mourning the loss of being about to take a piss anywhere without a second thought before being stabbed with like ten large needles. She was used to squatting now! The bleeding on the other hand...

Usopp sets her chin on Sanji's shoulder, and Sanji looks over in time to catch the smile on her face. She thanks Sanji again, and Sanji sort of nods and hums because there's that nervousness again since Usopp is so beautiful and she's SO CLOSE TO HER. The singular not short-circuiting part of Sanji's brain does speak up as she tells Usopp she's really proud of her. That she feels kind of like she cheated being gone and going the easy route and just being able to step into something Usopp had to work for. That if their roles were switched, Sanji wasn't sure she'd ever feel brave enough to do half the stuff Usopp did to get to where she is.

And that little footnote Usopp kept in the back of her mind for a while pops up right then, so she interrupts Sanji mid-spiel to ask her "how did you know you were trans?" It's a role reversal of a conversation from what felt like so long ago. And Sanji pauses. She's quiet for a little while until she speaks up and says she got a hint for it back in Little Garden. This confuses Usopp, but Sanji continues on and explains how Usopp didn't have any trouble calling herself a girl, and after Brogy and Dorry just accepted it, how happy Usopp looked and how relaxed she was.

Sanji says she wanted that freedom. The freedom to really be herself without any strings attached, and that she envied Usopp but didn't actually understand what the emotion was until much later. To Sanji's chagrin, Usopp pulls away with a hand on her chin in thought and says "okay, yeah, giants affirm your gender". And Sanji stares at her incredulously before Usopp starts giggling. The giggling is contagious. Sanji starts laughing herself, and sure it's nearly 11 at night, but that doesn't matter. There's an understanding here. There's a love here. They'll both be moving forward on the right foot into the future.

But for now, it was time to go bed. Sanji asks if Usopp wants to shower first since she's unsure about the hot water situation. Usopp, as if she's completely forgotten who the fuck she's talking to, says they can just shower together now if Sanji wants to. It's no big deal. Sanji proceeds to start bleeding all over her nice blouse. Usopp promptly freaks out and calls Chopper. There is a long lecture about blood transfusions needing to be SPARINGLY PROVIDED WHEN SOMEONE DOESN'T HAVE A DISEASE. Usopp says they'll figure something out. (They do because the pair start dating around the middle of Punk Hazard).

[candyskiez]

for the thingy, do tma based on what youve listened to so far?

Okay full disclosure to anyone reading this I am not done this podcast!!! I am on season three episode 87, and haven't finished that episode, please do not give me any spoilers or hint at any. Thank you!

Favorite female character: Melanie King. She's just so ridiculously likable. A thing I've noticed is she's very clearly Used to a certain amount of misogyny with her being in the industry that yk, gets you called insane. She's so immediately defensive whenever she thinks she's getting perceived as crazy or lying and you can tell that's something that's happened a million times, especially recently with the whole. Yk. Arrested thing. It's just a detail that's very well implied that idk. It's something I've been thinking about with her even though its not the main reason I like her. Idk how to explain why I like her she's just very very likable. She feels like a person I'd actually run into and she's just some random person going through the Horrors, just another ghost hunter that got really really unlucky. It's one of the big appeals of TMA to me, they all feel so much like just...people. Not like the authors forcing them or like they're Special because Author Says So. They're just random people and how they got into this situation is pretty believable. I love her dynamics with everyone, if an episode has her in it you know it's gonna be really good, she's just a damn good character and I'm really excited and terrified to see where she goes. Please don't kill her rusty quill.

Favorite male character: Jon Sims. He's just so GOOD man. I like when characters become mean not because of not caring but because they care so much and everything is so awful and everything keeps going to shit and it isn't fair! I love characters who are angry because of a deep love for the people around them! He cares so much about everyone and he hates it so much and man. I don't care how many times it gets done I love it so much. I love his development so far. While with Melanie I'm going "don't hurt her give her hot chocolate and take her far away from this mess just let her be happy PLEASE" with Jon I'm like "I need to see him shatter into a million pieces and try to put himself back together with bleeding hands." And from what I understand I'm in for a treat with one of those wishes and fucked with the other. Whoops. He's just a really good protagonist and just...God. This will not be the last time you hear me talk about how much I love Jon. Also an honorable mention for this spot is Tim. If I don't say how much I love Tim soon I'll die. He's just a guy! He doesn't know what the hell is happening and suddenly everything's fucked and he responds so realistically to it and he's just so interesting to me man. Every horror story has a character who knows absolutely nothing about what's happening and Tim does that so well because like. It feels like. Yeah, obviously. If I knew what he did, I would've done that too.

Favorite season: Man idk I'm only three seasons in. I guess season two? It was a really good season. Jon's spiraling was done so well and him becoming more compassionate just when it was a little too late for that KILLED me. Also TIM!!! Tim was a huge highlight of that season for me, he and Jon's relationship made me want to tear out my own organs. Their fight was just so. I understand exactly why they were so furious at each other. I understand exactly why Tim was so mad at Jon. "He's not wrong you know!" "I know." And Jon having to restart the statement because he's too emotional??? Kill me man just kill me. It just was a really excellent season. Jon and Tim were the biggest highlights for me but Martin was also incredible that season and I loved that scene in shit what was the episode. Hide and seek. With the Tim and Martin conversation. Everyone thinks Martin doesn't care just because he's trying to make things better and because he wants things to be okay it's assumed that he's taking sides or doesn't care that these awful things are happening or that he isn't hurt by it too, and like. It's an understandable assumption. I've made that assumption about people in the past, though I'm not proud of it. And it hurts Martin so much because Martin just wants things to be okay, he just wants to be safe and for his life to stop falling apart and for from what I'm understanding the only real connections he seems to have right now to stop tearing each other apart, and people just assume he's Okay with how Jon's acting, or that Jon wasn't also unfair to him because Martin was worried about him. And it's just. Ough. Martins whole Thing in that season had me Thinking about some shit he made me feel some emotions that's for sure. Can't wait to see what happens with him. Oops this was long.

Favorite episode: Okay I'm gonna be honest with you. This is the worst question you can ask me about this show because I for the life of me cannot fucking choose. There are so many good episodes. So I'm just gonna uh. Talk about a bunch? I've narrowed it down to four but it was so hard guys you don't even know.

Hive: This is just a really really good episode and it makes me batshit insane. I think a really good choice was making her actually not a very easy person to get along with. It would've been so easy to just say that she was nice and she tried so hard but she was alone because people were Mean :(. And I think that this makes the statement hit a lot harder especially as someone who's struggled with mental illness for a long time it's just. She hurt people and she can't wrap her head around it. All she takes away from it is I was left alone. All she sees is that nobody gets her, nobody cares about her, everyone hates her now, or did they always hate her? And I can see the exact thought process that led to her being so taken in by the worms. Like okay here is this thing that needs her, that can't leave her because they need her to survive, so they love her. They love her and they don't care that she's apparently toxic, she doesn't know what that means, she doesn't know what she did, but whatever she did doesn't matter because why would it matter to them. They think she's beautiful, that she's perfect the way she is, they make sense to her and she doesn't have to change. It doesn't matter that she's not a good person, because it doesn't need her to be. It loves her. Like. I'm not saying 2023 me would've absolutely been down to get possessed by worms but at that point in my life I would've absolutely stuck my hand in the nest too. Like. I get it, man. Especially off the hinges of July or November I was a fucking wreck man. I get her. I really like how this show portrays distress. It's not cute. It's not pretty. People do horrible things because they don't know what else to do. Sometimes you blow up every relationship you have, sometimes you stick your hand in a wasp nest to be loved by the only thing you can imagine still loving you. It happens.

The smell of blood: MELANIEEEEE. She stole my heart in this episode. I was so determined not to like her and I was sold by the end of the episode. Her dynamic with Jon was so fun and also just. The insight into how she thinks! I love the statements that are more like a conversation the most anything character interaction heavy is bound to make me eat my own limbs. The...OK I don't wanna say chemistry bc that implies romance but I also don't know what else to call it? They just bounce off each other really well they're SO similar and because of that their defenses against a Lifetime Of Bullshit will clash so hard but then when they can actually talk to each other earnestly they click so well. And just. God I don't even know how to explain why I love Melanie. She's just so??? She puts her show first until she suddenly can't anymore, she immediately expects hostility or doubt and it closes her off from any help or connections and she can't quite get that actually sometimes people just genuinely are worried about you. It's avain it's really clear she's been in the industry for a long time because she's so used to mistreatment she immediately lashes out at anyone who gets too close to acting like that. Shes clearly been through a fuck ton and I'm really excited to learn more about her. That's another thing tma does well the characters are so shaped by their experiences and they make so much sense.

Hide and seek: Godddd. I love this episode. I love this episode!!! Where do I even start!! I mean okay Jon and Tim are a major focus in it so obviously I'm gonna be having a great time. Like. God. Where do I even start. First off Tim's view of Jon is so AUGHHHH this episode because. It hurts and also I cannot blame him at all even a little bit for a second. There are so many good lines in this episode. Also Martin and Tim's interactions in this episode? Insane, so good, told me so much about both of them and anyone who knows me knows I love character analysis so you KNOW I was eating my phone the whole time. I don't even know how to explain what's so good about this episode because it's just. All of it. All of it is so good. It's just a really good episode what else can I even say here. Jon apologizing to Martin and Tim when he thought he was about to die killed me. Every Tim moment this episode killed me. If I was held at gun point I'd probably say this episode is my overall favorite but like. Don't make me choose okay.

A guest for Mr Spider: When I say this statement completely changed how I see Jon I mean it completely changed how I see Jon. It changed how I saw literally everything he's done throughout the podcast. Everything he does makes so much sense with this context but especially his actions regarding the not Sasha. Of course he sent everyone away. Of course he felt like he had to solve it all by himself. After all nobody else could get hurt, because it's His responsibility and He didn't notice and He should be the one dealing with the consequences anyway. He has this view of himself where he's like I'm the only one that should deal with this and yet. It's not arrogance or not entirely. It's this mess of I have to do it by myself and i cannot trust anyone else with this they WILL mess it up but it's not even that he thinks highly of his own capabilities he just judges (fears) everyone else so much. And his trust issues make so much damn sense in retrospect like. His sense of safety was completely shattered when he was so young, and he grew up feeling undesired and like a burden and. Of course he assumes any act of kindness is an act, of course he's so suspicious of anyone who tries to get close, he never had those connections. This episode is just. So good. It explains so much about him and is just a really good start to the season and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Favorite ship: So far, Jonmartin. Yes I know I've been very basic with all these but like. It's common for a reason they're so interesting?? Like yes very sweet but also they're so fascinating. There's something going on there I can't wait to see what happens. But also I'm eyeing a bunch of other ships too. I am a multishipper by trade. I will whack any character together. I'm kinda eyeing jontim very closely. I will probably whack any interesting protagonist/antagonist dynamic together before you can do anything because they intrigue me.

A character I'd die defending: Honestly all of them. I get all of them. They're just people. Most of the decisions they make are ones I would've made in their situations, I can't get seriously mad at any of them.

A character I can't sympathize with: So far, none.

A character I grew to love: Melanie. She dragged me in kicking and screaming.

My anti otp: So far, none!

I once again ask you don't say any spoilers or hints, thank you!

[deoll]

hiii dolls <33 i think it’s my first actual draft that made it as a post in a long time so enjoy!! self-insert, gn friendly!

Scaramouche x Reader || One Bed Trope

"I'm fucking sick of this. No you listen to me, do you know who I am?'' he throws his fists against the wood. What a rowdy guy, if he keeps this up I might be the one who'll get fucking sick of this fiasco.

"I'm sorry sir, most of our rooms are unfortunately taken and our staff is overworked due to this blizzard. Could you be a little patient until we check to see what we could offer you and your colleagues?" the woman at the front desk appeared to be distressed, managing a phone at her ear with her shoulder, trying to write some notes down at the same time. Scaramouche is not having it. If it were any other day perhaps I wouldn't be this easily irritated, but unfortunately my cheeks are scarred by the cold wispy wind, I can't feel any of my fingers due to frostbite, I haven't eaten anything, tired as hell and most importantly in a need of a shower. He's not helping my condition in the slightest, not that he ever did. Not that I would want him to, but that doesn't mean that I want him to worsen it.

"..Do you even know who you're talking to? I don't care how you manage your goddamn hotel, you must have 4 rooms for Tsaritsa's Harbingers. What kind of pathetic unorganized team do you even have here that a snow storm is all it takes for this whole place to-" (Y/N) puts their hand on his shoulder, making him stop mid sentence. "I'm sorry for my partner here he's just tired, please do what you must." I pulled him back and talked with the polite lady in front of me. Unfortunately, Scaramouche did not appreciate that. I could feel him fuming behind my back, his eyes could cut if i were to turn and look at him. Fortunately I don't, trying to contain an upcoming chuckle at how ridiculous he looks right now. Insufferable fucker.

"Now now comrade-" Tartaglia tries to put his palm on his hat and almost instantly having it waved off by him. "that's no way of treating a woman! Did nobody teach you that as a kid?" he gleefully laughed, as he usually does in his off work moments. What a guy...will anyone ever understand him? He goes from idiotic happy go lucky guy to a minimal quiet death sword in such a short amount of time. Matter of fact, we're coming down from a mission where he mercilessly tortured five millelith guards for intel on the latest operations managed by the Liyue Qixing. Who knows what goes on through his head while he chooses what to say or do. He might be smarter than anyone in our team if he's acting this way deliberately. Maybe he learned this is the safest way to operate within the Harbingers. Fake.

"You're being childish again Balladeer.." Arlecchino side eyed him, tired of his shit as usual rightfully so. Her elegant form always stuns me. She, like Childe. hides her true thoughts so well that all you can see is a put together act constantly. "Yeah? Let me be childish then, at least i'll have somewhere to sleep tonight, you can stay in the lobby for all I care." Scaramouche turns, ready to get into yet another argument. "Will you stop? We're all tired and your attitude is only agitating us further-" I turn to face him, ready to snap when the lady so kindly cuts me off this time.

"We have 3 rooms available for you, please make your way to room 47, 48 and 51 on the 2nd floor" I heard that and I almost ran to the elevator without another word, without actually letting the information settle in and comprehending it. Everyone turned to look at each other. "Lady I don't know if you're blind or those badly cut bangs are in your eyes but as you can clearly see there's 4 of us." Scaramouche storms to the front desk once again. The young woman looks at him with a sour face, done with his shenanigans. "That's all we can manage at this time, what else would you want from me?" He snarls at her. "Well if you found 3 then you can find another one you-"

"ENOUGH." I pulled him by his sleeve. "Thank you ma'am. We'll manage, have a good one!" I took the keys from the counter and dragged Scaramouche all the way to the elevator, the rest tagging along.

".....Can we do rock paper scissors for each room?"...Childe. "No." I'm glad we all agreed at least on that.

"..." The elevator reaches the 2nd floor. We get out, look at each other and unbeknownst to the rest of us, Arlecchino walks away towards room 48 with a key in her hand. "See you all tomorrow." I look baffled in my hand to notice a 3rd pair of keys missing! When did she even..

"....Can we do rock paper scissors now ?" "..No" I'm glad he agreed. "There's no need for that, I think you and Scaramouche should team up for tonight" I said, crossing my arms against my chest. "What?! Why would you throw me under the bus with him ?" Scara snapped at me, offended at the idea of spending the night with his friendly comrade.

"Hey now you're breaking my heart haha...what does that mean haha.." Scaramouche turns to him, "You snore, you stink, you're taking all the bed to yourself, never flush the toilet, eat all my food, get ridiculously drunk before you go to bed, uncomfortably touchy in your sleep-" "OKAY comrade. We get the point now." Tartaglia reaches out and takes a key out of my hold, winking at us."Ohhh I get how it is, okaay alright then haha~ I'll let you two have your moment for tonight" He smiles and walks away mumbling "..I'm not even that loud when I snore.."

"..." The only thing we can hear is the wind whistling forcefully through the windows along with Childe's rapid pace towards room 47. My hand is still around his sleeve, I could've let go a long time ago but I didn't. I figured it would be uncomfortable letting go now so the only rational thing to do is to go along with it. And so I drag him to...our room, for tonight.

"What are you doing? Are you really just letting him get away with it? Aren't you gonna put up a fight for the room?"

"Well, why aren't you? I'm fine with it, I don't care that much. I just want to eat, shower and go to sleep." His eyes widened for a bit and next thing that I knew, he pulls his hand back. "I never said I want to bunk up with you." "...You're right, you didn't. And to that I say, you sadly don't have a choice...so you either bunk up with me or you can go sleep in the lobby next to your dear front desk lady." He's frowning at me now, distaste all over his face. With that being said, he takes the keys from my hand and starts walking towards room 51, leaving me behind. I rush to his side trying to keep up in fear he would lock me out, which would be completely in his character. I definitely wouldn't call us friends, we bicker more than we bond. Not that I wouldn't want to bond with him, he's simply unapproachable, and I genuinely think that's how he wants to be. He's doing it on purpose. It's not like I never tried to get him, but you can't crack open someone who doesn't want to be cracked and vulnerable. Reason why I sit back and watch him be an angry insufferable jerk.

Sometimes I wonder what goes through his mind as well, what made him act like this, respond to life this way. I wouldn't mind if he let me in for once, if he let me listen. I wonder when was the last time someone listened to him, when was the last time he felt heard.

"Why would I want to sleep next to a bitch with a bad bob" I laughed at his comment, "You're ruthless. Poor girl...you went all in on her bangs too you criminal." He snarled, "She should've had that coming, how do you leave your house with your bangs looking like that" opening the door for us, we entered and I immediately felt my shoulders relax, letting the comforting aroma of clean laundry fill me in. Without any words I plop down onto our bed. "Get down loser, you're stinking my bed." I chuckle, "That's the point jerk, so you'd sleep on the floor." moving my hands up and down taking as much space as possible, smiling. It feels kind of...peaceful. These back and forths with him, they feel so natural. "I'll go ahead and bring our stuff in here, do you want something to eat?" I rise up on an instant, my stomach making an unpleasant sound. Would he bring me something? He cares enough to ask? "Actually I'm really really hungry right no-" the door closes. Did he just?...no. No, he's evil but not this vile. I take back everything I just said about feeling peaceful. With a huff I get out of bed and rush to the bathroom, there's no reason to waste any more time so I'll just take a shower.

With that being said, I undress and fix the water just right letting it run down my body after such a long tiresome day. It's always nice how hotels give you everything you may need for a bath, except for clothes. I realized as I'm now out of the shower that I don't have anything clean to wear. Just in cue, I hear the front door opening and closing once more. "(Y/N)? Are you in the bathroom?" No...Oh Archons not like this.. "Yeah...Did you bring my stuff as well?" He laughs, "Your stuff? Why would I bring YOUR luggage." He's got to be kidding me. I roll up a towel around my form and furiously get out of the bathroom. There he stands, laughing in my face with both of our luggage and what looks like some take out? Standing in the middle of the room looking dumbfounded, I ask him "You also bought...food?" He looks at me like I said something stupid, "Well yeah, I'm hungry." That's when it clicked. Yeah right he is...a puppet with no need of food, being hungry. I smiled at him softly without another word and looked through my stuff to get dressed. "I finished showering, the bathroom is all yours if you need it." Scaramouche was confused but let it go this time "Will go shower too then" And so he did.

While he was busy showering I prepped the whole room, unpacked everything including our meal. He quietly opens the door and for a moment just stays in the doorway looking at me puffing the pillows. What a silly girl he thinks. Putting in so much effort, he feels something fill in the void inside of him. It's...nice, warm, peaceful

"..Do you wanna go to sleep?" He looks at me, nodding. Looking at him now, he's acting strange. Almost sad but at peace, quiet, tranquil melancholy. Must've hit a nerve without wanting to. He looks in need of comfort but I feel hopeless, I brought him back something he hadn't thought in a long time...I triggered him. He gets in bed while I turn the lights off, suddenly it hits me. I realize it in that moment how intimate this feels. How raw, how vulnerable. I climb up in bed on his opposite side. The bed itself is not tiny but I guess due to the snowstorm outside we're laying pretty close to one another, our backs touching.

It's quiet, as tired as I was before proved to be useless now that I'm standing next to Scaramouche, so many unspoken words kept me wide awake. And then it happened. He broke the silence "I once convinced myself that humanity doesn't deserve kindness. I had a lot of trial and errors and every one of them proved that they're all doomed by their own selfish needs anyway. Humans don't deserve care. And still I find myself contradicting that in my mind." His voice is calm, relaxed and yet so sad. So simple yet it hides details that I may never learn. On impulse I turned around and hugged his back gently. He tensed up but just as quickly relaxed entirely in my arms. "It takes a lot of courage to try again, to trust again. To want to care, even if you know there's a chance it won't be fruitful. It means that at core, you want to give and help unconditionally. It means there's a lot of love within you Scara, including for humanity. That's powerful." For a second I feel him shaking in my arms and with that, I felt my heart breaking. He turned around facing me, "I feel like I want to care for you" I opened my arms, smiling at him "Then do so. Allow yourself to feel that way!" and so he does, he allows himself to be held. Not too long after, I feel him holding me instead, playing with my hair almost enchanted by my figure. His fingers are gentle, his palms are cold and yet I've never felt a warmer hold in my life. "You're not on your own anymore. I already care for you in ways you don't even know. You're being cared for." I feel his arms tightening around me. "..I won't ever forget this, do you know that? These exact same words may as well haunt me one day." I look up at him, "Or bless you. The risk for vulnerability is high, but the reward is always worth it. Don't cage yourself in fear Scara. Live." I felt his head fall on top of mine. He fell asleep while I was talking! This guy...and just like that, the big ruthless Balladeer fell asleep in my hair.