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“i must be faking this for attention” thinks the girl who isn’t even telling anyone about it

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Being plural is like

Woah I’m glad that breakdown is over, I hope no one saw that.

The fucking Grinch: Yeah

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trauma so bad my coping mechanisms have names and pronouns

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Idk maybe that's why

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Shout out to all the kids who always picked shape-shifting as their hypothetical power growing up and assumed it was for gender affirmation but now realize it was also a plurality thing.

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shoutout to my homies who are deeply bizarre and have something wrong with them

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Sometimes you like the fandom favorite and that's annoying because you have to see all the wild takes that do not interpret them the correct way. Other times, you like the fandom's least favorite and that's annoying because you still have to see all the wild takes that do not interpret them the correct way.

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whenever i click the cc button on a youtube video that clearly has a high budget and is made by a fucking studio and i see “english - auto generated” i spit daggers from my eyes and mouth at whoever decided to not pay someone to make actual captions

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"the early 2010s were better" no they weren't. "hey soul sister" was on the radio.

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I have come up with a better metaphor than “you can’t pour from an empty cup” for burnout. You can’t boil an empty kettle. Pouring from an empty cup just gets you nowhere. Trying to boil an empty kettle can ruin the kettle, the stove, and burn down your house if you keep trying it.

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when the internet strangers i have arbitrarily decided are Cool like a post i have arbitrarily decided is Lame And Cringe so now i must endeavor to make a Good Post lest i lose the good favor i have so graciously been granted

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whump is such a strange thing for me. ‘oh im having trouble shouldering the burdens of daily life, let me play scenes in my head of someone getting the shit kicked out of them (fictionally), that’ll make me feel better’ and it DOES

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I'll fully respect anyone who wants to take canon material and run off into their own little fanon corner where they flesh out paltry characters and relationships into something they want to play with. I will NOT respect the person who does this and absolutely insists the author meant it that way from the start and everyone else just doesn't get it.

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I had a je au concept and it is now your problem:

Jon and Martin end up somewhere else, except Jonahs ghost comes with them. The current au I'm playing around with is Jonahs specifically bound to Jon, since he's the one who killed him. Something something maybe they're bound by the fact they were killed by the sake weapon something something Jon being the archivist meant he could either survive what anyone else couldn't, or means he could permanently kill someone who otherwise couldn't be. Whichever you prefer. I'll work on it. Jon obviously is having a really bad time being haunted by the guy who apocalypse'd him, Martin's not very happy about his evil ex boss haunting him when he's trying really hard to never think about any of that shit again and he already has enough going on Jesus fucking christ how did everything go this wrong, both of them are honestly having a really shit time. Jonah isn't exactly thrilled about still being dead. Being a ghost is only slightly better. All three of them are having a honestly not fun time. Get in loser you WILL be confronting your complicated feelings about the man who ruined your life and the man who understood you better than anyone else and how they are the same person, and how you don't regret killing him but you feel so empty and raw after everything and you don't even know what you're feeling. You're not grieving him but what else is this. You killed a man and it didn't even save everyone. You killed a man and you don't regret it but there's still something there and you don't know what the hell it IS. And that's just talking about jons feelings on it. Martin and Jonah I could write an essay about.

Here's some snippets of shit I imagined under the cut. In script for my sanity

Jon: Glad to see you're not hoarding some poor souls body anymore, at least.

Jonah: Well, I suppose we're both happy about that one then.

Jon: Huh. Wasn't expecting that one.

Jonah: It has been a very long time. I'm not completely heartless.

Jon: Well, forgive me if I find that hard to believe.

[He takes a drag of his cigarette.]

Jonah: I thought you'd quit.

Jon: I had bigger problems to worry about than my lungs. I'm sure you know about them.

Jonah: Really, Jon, I know you're...different now-

Jon: [laughs bitterly]

Jonah: But that still can't be good for you, can it?

Jon: Don't you Know?

Jonah: I'm dead, Jon. What do you think?

Jon: Oh. Wow. This must be torture for you.

Jonah: You know I can see you smiling, right?

Jon: I wasn't trying to hide it.

Jon: I've got to tell Martin that. Might be nice for him to know.

Jonah: How much do you Know, then? Did you just waltz in, still fully connected to the fears, and hope for the best?

Jon goes very, very quiet.

Jonah: Ah.

Jon coughs.

Jonah: I told you you should try to quit.

Jon: Fuck you.

-

I can't write anything for it because my brain wants me to explode. But I offer you Jon refusing to do any scheduling just to spite Jonah. "Oh yes, just tell Martin he has to do all the paperwork because you have a grudge." "You're underestimating how far he's willing to go to spite you." Alternatively if you like Jon going a little downhill, Jonah informing him how to do various paperwork. Jon getting increasingly irritated when his advice is actually helpful.

-

Jonah: You say all that, but I see how you look at him.

Jon: At who?

Jonah: Martin. You're scared of him, aren't you?

Jon: What? No! Of course not. I trust him.

Jonah: Do you? Maybe you don't fear him, but he did kill you. He did go against you.

Jonah: You haven't forgotten that. Even if you like to admit it.

Jon: Martin was trying to save people, he was trying to do what he thought was right.

Jonah: You don't, then?

Jon: I am not talking about this with *you.*

Jonah: Are you going to have it with him then? Be my guest.

Jon grits his teeth.

Jonah: Do you regret it? Bringing all the fears here?

Jon: Martin's alive.

Jonah: That's not what I asked.

Jon: And I'm not going to- how many times do I need to say it? Whatever you're doing- wasn't it enough? You broke the world, Jonah! You broke me with it! What else do you want?

Jonah: To know you.

Jon: What?

Jonah: I don't know anything in your mind right now, and you're the only one I can talk to. You already interested me before I died. I figure nows as good of a time as any. It's not like I can come back to life. There's not much else to do.

Jon: ...

Jon, very tired: God, you need a hobby.

Jonah: That isn't really an option though, is it?

Jon: No. It's not.

-

Jon: I don't understand how you can live with yourself.

Jonah: This again? Really, Jon?

Jon: Don't "really" me.

Jonah: You are remarkably easy to read, even without the Watcher. You know that, right?

Jon: Well then, good for you.

Jonah: You're proving my point.

Jon: I'm not doing anything.

Jonah: You want to know. You've seen how much I know about other people, and you're curious what I'd say to you. You're curious about how well I know you. And if you don't hear what I think this is, you'll be thinking about it for months, if not longer.

Jon: I'm not going to ask. I'm not an idiot.

Jonah: You will though, won't you?

Jon: You never answered my question.

Jonah, fondly: You haven't changed at all.

Jon: No. I haven't. Now answer me.

Jonah: There's nothing to tell. I wanted to survive more than I was guilty. I did quite enjoy not dying, you know. Guilt doesn't stop everyone. You should know that.

Jon makes a frustrated noise.

Jonah: And it fades.

Jon: No. You're not telling me everything.

Jonah: What, are you going to try and compell it out of me? Really?

Jon: Maybe I will.

Jonah: Would that even work?

Jon: Would you like to find out? It's not like either of us have anything to lose.

Jonah looks surprised. Then he smiles. He looks almost proud.

Jonah: No. We don't.

(He says it like Jons finally realized something very, very important.)

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I have a really good je au concept but all the scenes in my head would be SO much better as a comic. Am I gonna have to learn to draw just for this fucking au. I need to (remembers suicide jokes are unhealthy) put them in a blender

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good news everyone we can stop posting about booktok. that's right, there were three posts you could make about booktok and theyve made them all:

Western Man has crumbled into degeneracy because the teens these days aren't reading The Western Canon

i am shocked and appalled that this marketing hashtag is not full of people having deep and enriching discussions about literature

euuugughghgh, WOMEN like PORNOGRAPHY??? like about SEX and PENIS? yuckkkk

those are the posts everyone and weve done a great job making them. So luckily we dont need to make them anymore :) well done everyone we did it we made the post.s The three posts. we can stop now. We can stop