candyskiez

[candyskiez]

Hm I think my phone has a virus and I have no idea what to do about it

[candyskiez]

Frisk doodle :)

[candyskiez]

I think the best most human thing in the world is strangers doing a silly thing together

[candyskiez]

[candyskiez]

not canonically queer, not not canonically queer, but a secret third thing (if it was between a man and a woman you could remove 90% of the romance and it would still be considered obviously canonically romantic)

[candyskiez]

I don't disagree that it's often the case that the redeemed bad guy dies at the end because, as a society, we have fucked up ideas about justice and rehabilitation, but sometimes it's clear they got killed off less because the writers thought it was warranted and more because they were staring at the prospect of having to wrap up five separate character arcs in the next ten minutes and decided to start pruning.

[candyskiez]

i wish it was socially acceptable to let out the most agonizing scream from time to time like i know it wouldn’t fix anything but it would certainly make me feel better

[candyskiez]

i love tumblr because you see someone losing their mind and you’re just like “omg me tooooo!” *reblog*

[candyskiez]

So sick of dog motif what about cat motif.

I love you but we don't love the same. I can't be near you when you want me to be. Your love is smothering and your need to keep me safe is trapping me. I'm my own person but I don't know how to show you that. I lash out and hurt you even though I don't mean to. I need you to move slowly around me or I'll bolt. I love you, even though I don't say it. If you stay still I'll sit next to you, and even though we don't understand each other we can be together like that.

[candyskiez]

when i tell you i had an aneurysm

[candyskiez]

my constant stream of thank yous and sorrys will save me from the ass beating i have coming for the crime of having needs

[candyskiez]

There's an open pit in the middle of our office plan that drops down into a bunch of very sharp spikes that kill you instantly. This is bad. People keep falling in there and dying. Someone put a sign up, the other day, all bright yellow so you can't miss it, that says "Beware!!! Spikes!!!"

The office immediately split into two factions over it. One says that if anyone falls in the spike pit it's their own fault for being so stupid and not watching where they're walking, so we should remove the sign. The other says that the sign is an insult, there shouldn't be a spike pit in our office at all, and having the sign up like that is just normalising the existence of the spike pit, so we should remove the sign.

We ended up removing the sign. Probably for the better. Still... for a while there it looked like it might have worked...

[candyskiez]

There’s a little rat inside your head.

This rat doesn’t know anything, but it knows that sometimes snacks fall into its cage, and sometimes the floor shocks its feet.  It likes the snacks, and it hates the shocks.  It will tell you to do things that produce snacks, and it will tell you not to do things that produce shocks.

This little rat is not the only power inside your head, and it might not be the strongest, but it’s there and it has influence.

So pay attention to how you’re treating the little rat.

If every time you learn something new, you say to yourself “ugh, I’m so ignorant for not already knowing this,” you’re shocking the rat.  You’re teaching it to be afraid of learning new things, to associate it with embarrassment and self-criticism.

Remember to feed the rat instead.  Tell it “now I know, and that is good,” and let it eat its snack in peace.

If every time you take care of yourself and your home, you say to yourself “ugh, I never do this enough, and I’ll never get it right,” you’re shocking the rat.  You’re teaching the rat that it was safer when you didn’t try to take care of things.

Feed the rat instead.  Praise what you have done, forgive what you haven’t, so the rat can feel safe.

When the rat takes a step in the right direction, even if the step is too small or slow or not in quite the right direction, feed it.  Don’t shock it for being imperfect; it’ll only learn not to take any steps at all.  Feed it, and let it get bolder, and take bigger steps, and give it bigger rewards for those bigger steps.

Be kind to your little rat.

[candyskiez]

job applications asking questions like "would you rather play jenga with the weight of all human souls, or chess with the fate of all men?" and then getting mad because the correct answer was "i would ask the customer if they'd like to purchase any additional items"

[candyskiez]

You will get farther in one week paying close, nonjudgmental attention to the unmet needs underlying your "bad" behavior than you will in a year of punishing yourself and demanding you become a different person. I'm right shut up.

[candyskiez]

my taste in fictional men is just the unstable, traumatized and dangerous ones who radiate strong "I'm not a bad dog. I'm a wounded and terrified dog who bites to survive" vibes honestly

[candyskiez]

I love them💦