#emotional healing??

[aria-ashryver]

on the one hand, I haven't technically even written ten fics yet -- on the other, Snow In Crimson, Starlight In Gold (Explicit) is already over 250k words. So... here's a weird and appropriately humungous list for Choices International Fanworks Day!!

Top Ten Times I Made My Characters Cry in Starlight (ID Longfic)

(Snippets below the cut are all SFW)

10. Clements Girls Night (bc Nicole's ex sucks)

Nicole hiccuped a laugh between her tears. ‘Okay, I have ice cream,’ Harrison said, shutting the door to Nicole’s bedroom with his hip as a cream-coated pug came barrelling past his feet. ‘I have tissues, I have chocolate, I have Teddy the Pug, I have a very expensive looking bottle of 1998 Sassicaia Bolgheri, and Jennifer’s Body on DVD.’ Harrison let the jumble of items fall out of his arms and onto the bedcovers, scooping up Nicole’s dog so he could come and snuffle at her outstretched fingers. ‘All the ingredients we need for a good night in. My suggestion is we sit here and don’t move for the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.’

9. The Venandis grieving as Cas spraypaints a portrait of their late friend Rory on the water tower

He’d always been smiling. Even up until the end. It came together in small details, abstract, at first, until it snapped together and Delphine sank back against the railing with a quiet ‘oh’. ‘Cas,’ Delphine whispered, one hand to her mouth. ‘That’s really— fuck, dude.’ Sinking down against the railing, Delphine started crying in earnest.

8. Gabriel finds the strength to talk about his family with Luca

Gabriel felt warm hands cradling his face, Luca’s thumbs brushing away his tears. ‘Tell me about them, as they lived,’ they said. ‘I’d love to know about them, if you’ll let me. Do you think you can, Gabriel?’

7. Gabriel and Luca cry into their pizza post-Autumn Festival reveal

‘What would have happened to you, if you’d exposed yourself as a vampire and I couldn’t keep you safe? I —oh, fuck, cool— Margherita pizza tastes good with tears. Good to know. Probably all the salt.’ Luca scrubbed the back of his hand across his eyes, and Gabriel felt the periphery of his vision turn to static. He couldn’t have torn his eyes away if he’d tried, his gaze locked onto the tears spilling down Luca’s cheeks. Crying. Luca was crying, for him. Because they were worried about what it would have done to Gabriel if he’d hurt them. If his secret had been found out by the humans. Numbly, Gabriel handed them a napkin, his mind a screaming void of white noise.

6. Terri tries to sacrifice herself to save Luca

Snarling, suspicion in her eyes, Astoria shook Terri roughly, but she didn’t let up. She never had. No matter what she had faced, Terri O’Rinn had never once given up. A sob caught in Luca’s throat. ‘You run, Luca, and don’t look back. I’ll try and buy you as much time as I can. I love you, my darling. Never forget that. You are so loved. On my signal, be ready.’

5. Viktor is wasting away from a disgusting lack of attention

‘I’m calling from a payphone,’ Viktor sighed, his voice muffled as he rattled about in the booth. ‘I have lost both my cell phone and my will to live! Literally no one on the planet has suffered more than I am suffering at this very point in time! I am the Bezos of suffering. Except instead of odious amounts of money, I have tears.’ Luca bit down on a fond smile. ‘Did you actually lose your phone, or do you just like the aesthetic of being a drunk, broken-hearted musician crying on his own in a payphone booth at 2am?’ ‘Um, rude,’ Viktor scoffed, immediately sounding less watery.

4. Cas and Gabriel watch on as Luca dances through a breakdown

Luca was a ghost drifting quiet through a field of wildflowers, and a fury of lightning arcing over midnight sands, and every broken sob that ever choked up Cas’s throat at 3AM beneath the harsh, halogen glare of streetlights. Before he even really understood what was happening, Cas was blinking furiously. Blinking through wet, refracted shards of light as tears spilled down his cheeks. Luca took Cas’s pain and tore him apart with it. They gave him permission, they made him understand, in some deep part of himself that his conscious mind couldn’t reach. The way Luca moved gathered his soul together. They somehow found those scattered fragments and brought them home again.

3. The trio re-unite after the attack on the hunting party

‘Hold my hand,’ Luca sniffled, blotting at their tears with the heel of their hand. Cas chuckled. ‘I promise I’m not going anywhere, babe.’ ‘I know,’ Luca said, flailing their hand insistently. ‘Just hold my damn hand anyway!’ Cas stared at them, his face lit with something ageless. Eternal. ‘I’ll hold your hand every fucking day for the rest of my life.’

and

Cas tensed. ‘Why are you crying?’ ‘Because you won’t.’ Gabriel turned to face him, his thumb tracing tenderly over the inflamed skin at Cas’s neck. ‘So I’m doing it for you.’

Okay, just… *gestures broadly at all of Augury Pt II*, you know? Mmm, delicious near-death situations and characters being overwhelmed with how much they care about each other, my beloved.

2. (It's a tie!) The first "I love you" confessions

[Luca x Gabriel]

The starlight fractured him, cradled him, and reformed him whole. ‘I love you, too,’ Gabriel gasped, startled to feel the coolness of tears sticking to his eyelashes. ‘With all my heart Luca, I love you.’ ‘You don’t have to say it back just because I said it,’ Luca said, his fingers skating feather-light against the fullness of Gabriel’s bottom lip. ‘If you’re not ready—’ ‘No, I am! I do! I…’ An elated laugh burst from Gabriel’s lips.

[Luca x Cas]

Cas’s eyes were intent; he gazed up at Luca like they’d hung the moon for him. His fingers clutched at their thighs, as if the strength in his grip might hide the fact that his hands were shaking. ‘Please…’ Cas whispered. ‘Luca, tell me. I want to hear it again.’ Luca swiped a thumb across Cas’s cheekbone where a shimmering tear had slipped free from his eye, and fell in love with him all over again. ‘I love you, Cas Harlow.’ Cas surged up to meet them in a kiss.

Cas grieves finally his mother (with help from Terri)

(yes I'm dropping a 300 word "snippet", I freaking love this chapter lol. Cas Harlow + vulnerability? That's my JAM)

Cas took the brunt of those gentle words like a baseball bat to the ribs. The air heaved out of him, and quite suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. ‘What did you say?’ ‘It’s not your fault, sweetheart.’ ‘Sh— shut up…’ Terri’s voice grew firmer when he would have up and ran, broken leg or no. ‘Cas. None of it was ever your fault.’ ‘Shut the fuck up!’ His chest was nothing but acid and knives, burning silver wire coiling around him tight. ‘Don’t say that shit!’ ‘Cas…’ And it was just that one little thing, wasn’t it? Cas was almost mad at how easy it was. It was just that one little gesture, as Terri reached out to place her hand on his knee, that caused all the pain, all the misery festering inside of him to come unstuck. His eyes were wide open when the tears fell. He didn’t even have to fucking blink; one moment he was sucking in a sharp gasp, the next, his tears were overtaking him, cold on his skin as they spilled, the dammed-up weight of it all just too fucking heavy to hold in any more. He could feel it building as Terri shifted closer and folded him into a hug. The tremor in his chin. His lower lip quivering. The tight constriction as phantom hands squeezed his airways closed. One word tore past his lips. ‘Eomma…’ And then he was breaking. A howl of pure agony shredded through him as he curled into Terri’s shoulder and sobbed. His tears were so hot they were scalding; the weight of his anguish suffocating as it was crushed out of him; Luca’s mom’s hands so gentle as they stroked comforting circles on his back —Luca’s mom, their mom, he’d never had a fucking mother before, never known how it would feel to be held like this while he cried— ‘It wasn’t your fault.’ Cas hugged Terri back and cried even harder.

@choicesfandomappreciation

Happy International Fanworks Day!! (I say, as my characters are sobbing in the background lmao) 💛💛💛

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[llvampirell]

[littlemissemotionalandvalid]

You are not a bother. You are not a burden. You are not a waste of space. You are not annoying every person you talk to. Your existence matters. Your presence makes a good difference.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[desultory-suggestions]

Pay attention to what makes you feel on edge. If you’re feeling angry try to stop and assess what is triggering that anger. It doesn’t have to make sense. Is the sound of shoes squeaking on the floor grating? Is the way someone is asking you for something upsetting even if the ask isn’t? Understanding what is bothering us is the first step to diffusing our anger.

[dumblr]

[spiritualseeker777]

[astrogirlythings]

[recoverr]

shoutout to all the kids with good people as bad parents. the parents who were sympathetic, honest and kind to everyone until you were the next in line. the parents who loved the entire family except you. the parents who preached about acceptance, warmth and kindness, but never offered it to you. the parents who were understanding to friends, cousins or siblings, but not to their own children. the cognitive dissonance is surreal, but i promise it is not a reflection of your own worth. you deserve more.

[enii]

Today, I did everything for myself💕

[llvampirell]

Heal so you can recognize a genuine relationship with pure intentions when it shows up without sabotaging it.

[theambitiouswoman]

Emotionally healthy people are quitters ✨

Emotionally healthy people are quitters. They make choices that align with their well being. Quitting a relationship, partnership or job that makes you unhappy is a sign of self awareness. If someone stays in something bad for too long, it's not because they're strong, but because they're afraid or have low self esteem. Being emotionally healthy means having awareness, setting boundaries, and knowing when it's time to move on from situations that no longer serve you. It's about prioritizing your mental and emotional health over sticking with something that's causing you harm or making you unhappy.

Emotionally healthy people also tend to have good communication skills. They express their feelings and needs calmly, openly and honestly. They also look for guidance and enlightenment because they understand that seeking help is a sign of strength not weakness.

They make decisions out of self love rather than attachment or fear. When you prioritize loving yourself, you make choices that align with your happiness and growth, rather than staying in situations out of comfort or insecurity.

Recognizing when you have an unhealthy attachment or that your feelings may not be conducive to your well being is important. It allows you to take a step back, evaluate the situation objectively, and make choices that are in line with your best interests.

Sometimes holding on can lead to more pain and struggle than necessary. It's a sign of emotional maturity to recognize when a situation is no longer good for you and to have the strength to let it go.

Things that are genuinely right for you should not cause you harm or emotional pain. Choosing pain is a sign of a lack of self love. Recognizing the need for change, prioritizing self love, and making healthier choices is how you begin to change your life.

Reframe your mindset from “this is hurting me because I love it” to “this is hurting me because I do not love me.”

[vielesundnichts]

- reyna biddy

[paranormaljones]

Yet another thing I find absolutely wonderful about how Jonathan Stroud wrote Lucy Carlyle is how he betrays her with the narrative.

In The Screaming Staircase, at the start of her story, Lucy gives us an idea of how she wants to be perceived; unaffected, unbothered, unburdened by fear or particularly revelatory emotions. She drops horrifically painful realities about her childhood on us as if she were describing a dull gray rock she found on the ground. She tries very, very hard to school her emotions around Lockwood and George. And if she had been written by anyone else, she might have fallen prey to the "strong independent female character" tar pit of a stereotype.

But then along comes Annabel Ward's ghost.

And the narrative looks at Lucy and says "I know how you wish to present yourself, but that's not who you are."

And Lucy is repeatedly shown to be incredibly Sensitive in so many ways. She is under the influence of the ghost of Annie Ward, but the emotions are still partly Lucy's. And most of the time she has the emotional intelligence to differentiate which feelings are hers and which ones are Annie's, and where they overlap. She chokes up with empathy on multiple occasions in the process of uncovering what happened to Annie Ward. She becomes enflamed with the desire for justice for someone who was murdered decades before she was born. She's shown that by her very nature, her emotions are her strength and not her weakness. Because she has a narrative that loves her and isn't lazy about her. She is the narrator and she tells us who she is, but the narrative shows her and us who she really is.

[lucabyte]

Olive Branch

Wrong Move