#healing is a process

[whiskeyskin]

Do you think he tailored it himself to show off his scar? I'd like the headcanon he did ☺️

Little Star ๋࣭ ⭑

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[positivelypresent]

Don’t lose hope. 🐢

[feralchaton]

[ancientpersacom]

Plurality isn’t always scary

Made with childhood pictures taken when we were co conscious.

Even if the world will never be normal about plurality, that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to work with it and achieve functionality. Even though I don’t think we’ll ever be fully functional, we’re at a point where most days are calm and everyone gets along. Sure, I can’t remember three whole years of my life. Sure, I can’t control who switches and when. But we communicate well enough to trust each other no matter what happens.

No, plurality isn’t always easy. But I’d not trade the system for the world.

Happiness with your system is possible.

[messiahzzz]

this informational piece is directed to the gale fandom specifically:

grooming is a tactic where someone methodically builds a trusting relationship with a child or young adult, their family, and community to manipulate, coerce, or force the child or young adult to engage in sexual activities.

1. Choosing a victim - The predator often chooses a child who is obviously vulnerable. Children who are withdrawn, low on confidence, emotionally deprived and with less parental supervision are particularly at risk.

2. Building access & trust - Sexual abuse often begins with friendship. The abuser can also take on other roles such as a romantic partner, a mentor, a caregiver or an authority figure. The abuser spends time in getting to know the victim's likes, dislikes and habits and pretending to share common interests. The perpetrator establishes trust with the child by making them feel special, sometimes through gifts or excessive compliments and attention. This is especially dangerous for vulnerable children who do not experience attention in their daily lives. In the trust development stage, offenders aim to develop a trusting friendship or relationship with their victim. This can involve several tactics, including:

a) praising the child for their maturity and intelligence;

b) encouraging the child to disclose personal information;

c) syncing their language with that of the child;

d) highlighting mutuality (i.e., similar interests, attitudes and behaviors between the offender and child); and finally,

e) portraying themselves as being trustworthy and nice.

3. Filling a need with gifts & favors - Giving the victim small gifts and favours is a strategy used by perpetrators to make the child feel indebted. Trust is further built by sharing intimate life details, going on special outings and giving the child access to things they normally wouldn’t get. Once the offender has identified a child’s needs, they will try to be the “hero” to the child who gives them what they desire. Examples include gifts, extra attention, or affection. This causes the child to see them as highly important and even idolized. They won’t want to upset them in risk of not getting the void in their life fulfilled.

4. Isolating - The groomer actively tries to isolate the child from people who may be watchful or helpful. This kind of isolation creates deeper connection & dependency. The offender also exhibits exemplary behaviour before parents of the victim & manipulates them into trusting the relationship. They will use this trust to create situations in which they are alone with the child. Time spent alone also reinforces the “special connection” the child feels they have with the offender. This “special connection” is further reinforced when the offender convinces the child that they love and appreciate them more than anyone else.

5. Initiating sexual contact - With the power over the child victim established through emotional connection coercion or one of the other tactics, the perpetrator may eventually initiate physical contact with the victim. It may begin with touching that is not overtly sexual (though a predator may find it sexually gratifying) and that may appear to be casual (arm around the shoulder, pat on the knee, etc.). Gradually, the perpetrator may introduce more sexualized touching. By breaking down inhibitions and desensitizing the child, the perpetrator can begin overtly touching the child. At this stage, the offender will exploit a child’s natural curiosity through physical touch and excitement. They will begin to teach the child sexual preferences and manipulate what the child responds to. The child begins to see themselves as a sexual being prematurely and the relationship with the offender now takes on a sexual term.

6. Post-abuse maintenance - The goal of the final stage is to ensure the child remains trapped in the cycle of abuse and loyal to the abuser, by either reinforcing and maintaining trust in order to prevent disclosure, or by explicitly threatening or blackmailing the child or their loved ones. This can also be reinforced and maintained by, for instance, giving the child affection, praise or encouragement for one’s actions.

[whirlwindofstuff]

[theidlespoon]

you think you're over it and then out of the blue you're curled up on your bathroom floor listing five things you can see four things you can touch three things you can hear.

[safe-haven-safe-place]

[ruminate88]

Dealing With Digestive Issues After Being In Emotional Turmoil:

11/28/24

I’ve had digestive issues off and on since covid and let me tell you about my journey and give advice. During covid, I started with burning in my stomach/esophagus and tried to see a doctor but they wanted to do a video call visit not an in person visit and all they wanted to talk about was “covid”. I felt I wasn’t getting any help AT ALL and started diagnostics on my own…. (Which isn’t always wise but sometimes you have to)

I treated myself as if I had an ulcer cuz of the symptoms and I lost random weight all at once. I knew nothing about digestion health or emotional abuse. As treating myself with an “ulcer” sure, I got a little better but randomly at times the symptoms came back. YEARS I’ve struggled to know truly how to manage my body…. I’m still a work in progress!!!!

Just in the last 3/4 months, I’ve found women’s digestive gummies with probiotics AND I started eating more fiber. HUGE DIFFERENCE in my body. Theeeeen, last week I ran out of the gummies and thought I would be ok till I got more…. Wow, immediately I struggled again over the weekend 😮 So, no I have to live on probiotics for right now.

stress also hurts you physically. You can’t just eat all junk. You have to eat good proteins and fibers. Avocados and Peanut butter are super hard to digest although they are delicious lol I love both and sometimes I let myself indulge but sometimes I pay for it too. 🫤

In the show “Everybody loves Raymond”, Robert says his ex wife gave him “Spastic Colon” which is basically IBS… but it shows him chugging down Pepto bismol and I gotta be honest…. That stuff does NOTHING but make it harder to use the bathroom and it turns your tongue black often if you drink too much. (Back then maybe probiotics wasn’t popular) You only have heartburn when you keep eating food that won’t digest correctly… pay attention to your body!!!! Nausea also accompanies when you can’t digest your food. Don’t eat too much fiber that will also hurt you but eat a healthy amount. Some cereals like Raisin Bran has fiber and also having black beans with a meal helps too 😜

Your soul, mind and body are one. When you’ve been in emotional turmoil for so long, your body is reacting to your emotions and it worries!! Trust me!! Please take care of yourself and digestive issues are just ONE of the health issues you encounter when you’ve been in emotional turmoil for so long ❤️‍🩹 (I was with 3 different partners) Hope this helps! You’re not alone!!

Digestive Issues symptoms? Mostly feeling overly full, heartburn sometimes, can even have a hard time swallowing if your esophagus is raw, cramps, nausea, struggles to use the bathroom normally, sluggish and feeling no energy. Also, BEWARE; heartburn can disguise itself as hunger so you’ll keep eating. Being thirsty can also make you think you’re hungry. Drink LOTS OF WATER! Lower your caffeine and junk food intake. You’ll see a big difference in yourself. Keep active! Even walking around your house more or walk outside on your street. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 All the best to you!!

oh AND carbonated drinks… really hard on your esophagus. I gave up drinking soda pop altogether and I’ve seen a change there. 👍🏻 Years ago I was a heavy Mountain Dew drinker but that stuff is sweet poison!! It’s sooo bad for you 😝😝😝😝

[vizthedatum]

DBT realization: radical acceptance isn’t toxic positivity. It can mean accepting exactly how bad it feels, how upset you are, how sad you are, how you fucked up, how everything else is fucked… AND making room for all the things that aren’t so fucked up.

Those latter moments can be appreciated just as much as the unsavory ones… but you need to be able to feel all of it.

[starryvomit]

it’s okay to be angry at the injustice of somebody hurting you.

[softtopxpressions]

I’m really starting to step into my style…and it’s so nice finally being the me I’ve always seen and never could attain 💖

[positivelypresent]

Feel it to heal it!

[feralchaton]

[just-breathe-it-will-be-okay]

Yesterday was easier. Today, yet again, feels heavy. I have to constantly remind myself that I'm not a failure; healing just isn't linear and that's okay. It comes and goes in waves, but that doesn't mean it will stay like this forever. It's hard to think it will be okay, but as clichè as it sounds: it will be okay, as long as you do not give up on yourself.

Be kind to your mind. Always.

- Reni