#emotion skills

[jesusinstilettos]

I’m about to save you thousands of dollars in therapy by teaching you what I learned paying thousands of dollars for therapy:

It may sound woo woo but it’s an important skill capitalism and hyper individualism have robbed us of as human beings.

Learn to process your emotions. It will improve your mental health and quality of life. Emotions serve a biological purpose, they aren’t just things that happen for no reason.

1. Pause and notice you’re having a big feeling or reaching for a distraction to maybe avoid a feeling. Notice what triggered the feeling or need for a distraction without judgement. Just note that it’s there. Don’t label it as good or bad.

2. Find it in your body. Where do you feel it? Your chest? Your head? Your stomach? Does it feel like a weight everywhere? Does it feel like you’re vibrating? Does it feel like you’re numb all over?

3. Name the feeling. Look up an emotion chart if you need to. Find the feeling that resonates the most with what you’re feeling. Is it disappointment? Heartbreak? Anxiety? Anger? Humiliation?

4. Validate the feeling. Sometimes feelings misfire or are disproportionately big, but they’re still valid. You don’t have to justify what you’re feeling, it’s just valid. Tell yourself “yeah it makes sense that you feel that right now.” Or something as simple as “I hear you.” For example: If I get really big feelings of humiliation when I lose at a game of chess, the feeling may not be necessary, but it is valid and makes sense if I grew up with parents who berated me every time I did something wrong. So I could say “Yeah I understand why we are feeling that way given how we were treated growing up. That’s valid.”

5. Do something with your body that’s not a mental distraction from the feeling. Something where you can still think. Go on a walk. Do something with your hands like art or crochet or baking. Journal. Clean a room. Figure out what works best for you.

6. Repeat, it takes practice but is a skill you can learn :)

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

Hot take: I actually think men and women are meant to work together and complement each other and not like,,, dislike each other and be divisive.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Conceal, don't feel, don't let it show.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[thepeacefulgarden]

[raepliica]

(content warning: blood)

Sewed Up Heart

[ID: A Trigun comic done in grayscale with red accents. First, an anatomical heart gushes blood, forming a puddle which shifts into Vash's coat. Vash's gloved hands can be seen sewing up a tear at the hem.

Vash raises his hands, which are now bare and covered in blood. He looks sweaty and distressed, and he raises his coat to his face and cries into it. His clenched hands rip the sewed portion apart, and the red thread leads to a heart whose own stitches are tearing apart. The background gets darker and darker, and the red looks brighter and starker against it.

Then the background returns to white, and brown-skinned hands using embroidery scissors snip a red thread. Wolfwood holds up Vash's repaired coat, grinning proudly, and does a happy thumbs-up in Vash's direction. Vash lifts his head, seeming distant.

Wolfwood holds out the coat. As Vash puts out his hand to take it, the cloth is replaced so Wolfwood is dropping a sewed-up heart in Vash's hand. Vash rubs the coat against his face with a teary smile. End ID] ID CREDITS

[borderlinereminders]

Messing up while trying to learn healthier coping skills or communication skills doesn't mean your progress ceases to exist.

If you lashed out at someone during an argument instead of using your coping skills, it's okay to forgive yourself. If you reacted based on your emotional urge instead of looking at the situation, that's okay. It happens.

No one is perfect all the time. I think we expect so much more of ourselves. In my case, because I felt so ashamed of who I used to be. It makes me feel extra pressure to "do better". But the reality is, people who aren't in recovery mess up too. And sometimes they may not even notice it.

You don't need to beat yourself up about it. In fact, beating yourself up about it doesn't really help anyone. You can learn from it. Was there something going on that made it harder to use your coping skills? Was there a certain trigger? Maybe a bad day? Take your new knowledge and move forward.

Your progress still very much exists. I promise.

[beneathsilverstars]

i find it so so interesting the things that you can learn about a parent/caregiver just by knowing their kid...

when siffrin doesn't flinch away from bonnie's touch, bonnie says "good kid, good kid. you didn't even jump that time! good job, you did such a good job.” now we know what kind of langauge nille uses to praise bonnie!

bonnie doesn't actually argue all that much about not being allowed to fight - they make their opinion known, but then focus on being a good snack leader. i think they are used to having their point of view taken into consideration! a kid who doesn't dare complain at all might have very strict and stubborn caregivers, while a kid who throws a fit might have caregivers who pay more attention to emotions than logic, or care less about their child's feelings and more about how those feelings affect them. but bonnie trusts that the adults around them will listen to them, and then make a reasonable decision, even if it's not the one they wanted.

bonnie's fairly level-headed in general, actually. they get really upset sometimes, obviously, but it's about things that are really upsetting? otherwise.. if they're not confronted about the death convo, they're able to set it aside and focus on cheering everyone up with snacks. even though they're mad at siffrin, they have some chill convos with him. pretty good emotional regulation skills all things considered! they're often able to choose to be calm and cheerful, but they feel safe expressing sadness and anger, too, so they're not just sitting there repressing everything either!

i just get really emo about what a good job nille must have done raising them 😭

[looking-for-wisdom]

One thing i really enjoyed about disco elysium and its gameplay is that it sort of normalized intrusive thoughts. I don’t think this was intentional really — it’s probably just a side effect of a clever mechanic. But there was something very comforting to me about how each of these 24 traits get to give their input and analyze the situation. And sometimes they’d say horrible things, about how you should act or what you should say about the people around you.

And then you’re given a choice of what to do.

Dialogue options do tend to have a range of choices, from rude to funny to what a person might actually say. But in DE those choices are baked into a story that centers around mental illness and addiction. It feels less like those options are just ways different players can express themselves and more like all of the choices are Harry.

But, in giving you a choice, you still get to choose the kind of person you want to be. The terrible, cruel suggestions are still part of his psyche, but he isn’t punished for them. Just because he thinks something derogatory about women doesn’t mean he has to believe it. Just because he can kick a trash can and hurt himself doesn’t mean he has to act. The people around him judge him by his choices. And the crazy, fucked up shit that happens in his head? It doesn’t define him. It’s just a part of existing.

[1driedpersimmon]

Yu yu scribbles

You know how it is

[femmefatalevibe]

Femme Fatale Guide: Tips To Become More Emotionally Intelligent

Embrace self-awareness & self-reflection: Observe how you feel, behave, and how people generally respond to your words/actions in different situations

Practice self-regulation: Learn to differentiate between your feelings and the actions that would be appropriate in a specific setting or interaction. Internalize that feelings are fleeting and non-factual. You're in control of how you respond/(don't) act on these emotions

Engage in active listening: Pay attention to what others are saying with the intent of understanding, not responding

Focus on emotional differentiation: Understand where your thoughts, feelings, intentions, and opinions end and another person's identity/perception begins

Display radical empathy and acceptance: Understand that almost all people's words and actions result from their own beliefs, past experiences, and current life circumstances/priorities. Put yourself in their shoes when attempting to understand their choices, behaviors, and times they come to you to discuss a problem, success, or major life decision. Accept that you can only control what you do. Very little of other people's actions/the world's workings are personal. Things are happening around you, not to you

Let go of your ego: View yourself as objectively as possible with the potential for improvement. Abolish any superior complex or overwhelming desire to prove your self-importance in others' lives and decisions

Remain open-minded: Question your own beliefs and opinions. Stay curious as to why you believe them to be true/authentic to you. Allow your opinions to change or have the capacity to modify your beliefs upon hearing new information. Understand your worldview and values are valid, but they're not definitively correct beliefs, just because they resonate/feel comfortable for you

Be receptive to feedback: Embrace constructive criticism as a self-improvement tool. Approach it with curiosity and optimism, not as a personal attack

Differentiate between your feelings and capabilities: Your thoughts are not facts. Remember you can do things you don't feel like doing most of the time (work, waking up in the morning, working out, etc.). Learn the difference between being a slave to your emotions and genuinely running out of energy

[sea-buns]

From an outsider’s perspective “He’s my freaking best friend” was the funniest, most insanely untrue statement that Colin could have possibly made about his relationship to Raphaniel. But Lou going “Deli, crushed, is going to avert his eyes...” had me immediately sobering. Of course it’s gonna look like such a blatant lie to us, as we’ve had a front row seat to Raphaniel’s unhinged bullshit this entire time. But Deli is seeing them both for the first time in five years. He didn’t even notice Colin was present until he was literally crawling on top of him to get by. 

And though he’s seen some pieces of Raphaniel being senile as he runs butt-ass naked into a crater, Deli didn’t even consider doubting Colin for a second. There’s just something that’s so bare about these two. They’re the only ones that didn’t build their characters to lie, but even still, the other three make insight checks on everyone else constantly. The other three have a much longer history with each other than Colin and Deli ever did. And yet neither of them have ever questioned the honesty of the other, always taking every word at face value.

It’s true that they’ve never had a reason to lie. But you would think that when your ex-best friend that you parted with on bad terms and haven’t seen in ages says quite passionately that his new best friend is the soggy old man collecting people’s heads, that you would have some level of doubt. Hell, even if Raphaniel was normal or if it was any other person, wouldn’t you still be holding out? Searching for the faintest glimmer that you’re missed?

The way they just trust each other. The way Deli was the only person Colin ever told about his past, despite them parting on hostile terms. The way they watch each other in battle. The way they both immediately wanna stop and talk to each other. The way they care.

[somsonsomsoff]

headcanons for the employers have somehow turned into a crossover with de skills

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji might be an unstoppable force, but Xie Lian has 800+ years of practice of being an immovable object.

(poll results here for context)

[momoirocake]

Childhood au where, through circumstances, the trainees at the Shimotsuki Village get taken on a trip to experience the world outside of the village, while on there trip they come across the Baratie.

Sanji and Zoro meet when there much younger and gets to hangout with eachother, Sanji, who hasn’t met anyone his age beyond his brothers, instantly gets attached to Zoro and starts following him around.

Zoro, who has never really had a friend beside Kuina, instantly gets nervous by this slightly overly-excited boy and deals with him how he usually deals with most things that frustrate him: he fights him.

Thus, this begins there rivalry.

[softgrlfriend]

Me n my sky photos against the world... ☁️

[arihi]

Okay here’s the post I talked about from that last reblog!

This also goes beyond ultimatums and conversations - people will twist themselves into knots justifying behaviors and actions all on their own without any input from the important outside source. A misguided sense of noble self-sacrifice when not ever mentioned out loud is just, plainly, unwarranted and stupid. Bearing with something you don’t want to do for another person is not automatically a favor they owe you later down the line, especially if they didn’t know you were doing that. “I went to these things even though I didn’t want to and you don’t even appreciate it even though I never mentioned it” make it make sense!

As someone who does sometimes go to events or do things I don’t necessarily want to do when invited, that’s automatically on me and that’s a choice I make based on my energy levels. A lot of the time I go because I know I don’t want to in the moment but will probably enjoy myself later. Even if I don’t? That’s not on the other person, that’s not a future argument I win. People who make little balance ledgers of this stuff must be exhausted. We have got to stop blaming and trying to hold other people accountable for our sometimes admittedly rough feelings. You need to engage in emotional regulation and own up to your own mistakes that make you feel like shit instead of putting it on others ‘for putting you in the place to make that decision’.

It’s not noble self-sacrifice to remain quiet as discontent bubbles up without communicating it. It’s just boxing with shadows, and you are not going to win.