#dont ask me about my autism diagnosis

[10yrratiolover]

giving my thoughts and ideas on Ratio's character stories

I wouldn't call this much of an analysis but we'll see how it goes

Starting out with his first character story, most of it is Professor Rond's recommendation letter.

I'd like to start by sharing my thoughts about Ratio and Rond first before actually getting into dissecting the letter itself.

So, firstly, I'd like to mention that (to my knowledge) we have never heard of or from Ratio's parents. I find that ironic considering what a big shot he is, I doubt that his parents would ever willingly shut up about their son.

Reading that Rond had a 'significant influence on Ratio's upbringing' particularly stands out to me because, at least at the time of the original letter being written, Ratio was in secondary school (Grade 9-12, though some of the wording in the letter lead me to believe he was likely on the lower end of that range).

Now, a high school teacher having a 'significant influence' on someone's upbringing isn't necessarily uncommon, nor are old teachers proud of their past students becoming extremely successful. However these points, alongside the fact that Ratio's parents are nowhere to be seen in canon, lead me to believe that there was some sort of familial relationship between them, especially seeing Rond's reaction to being asked about Ratio as well as how he had kept the original letter.

Moving on to the actual letter.

Grade skipping is a pretty common practice where I'm from, as it allows learning at the appropriate/needed level (ignoring the fact that the school system is in shambles).

However, the way this is phrased is as if Rond were trying to convince him to be able to skip grades. If he were in grade 11 or 12 I feel like it would not have been phrased this way, which is what leads me to believe he was likely younger, possibly fresh out of middle school.

The highlight on creativity is just because it makes me smile honestly, also it ties into one of my earlier posts about how I think Ratio would adore the subject of art.

I would like to return to my point of Rond being a potential parental figure to Ratio, seeing as he seems to know his daily routine well enough to confidently write about it in his letter of recommendation.

On to his second character story, which is mostly online posts in a thread-like format.

It wasn't until his eighth doctoral degree that he was awarded with First Class Honors, also since he is the first person to receive such in two amber eras it means he was likely the only one on stage at that time.

It also states that at the time he was already a prominent figure in society, which doesn't surprise me given the accomplishments listed by Rond in the letter despite him being in high school at the time it was written. However, he would most likely be an adult by the time he finished his eighth doctorate.

No real comment on this I found it funny that they put etc instead of continuing to list fields.

I also just find these funny and wanted to share them, but the disagreement on the last comment shows how much people admire him. I feel like that's a topic that's rather watered down in the fandom, but people genuinely admire Ratio a lot and there's plenty of reason for them to.

full-time university teachers tend to teach about 5 courses per academic year, meaning Ratio has been teaching for about 10 years.

Moving onto the third story, which is a statement from a former assistant of his about his desire to join the genius society.

I find this to be an interesting point, it seems like joining the Genius Society would be an obvious next step for a man with so many accomplishments but it's stated not once, but twice that he has never spoken about the subject (to the public at least).

I am a believer in the theory that Ratio hasn't been allowed into the Genius Society due to his humanity/compassion and his desire to spread knowledge to everyone, and I feel like this specification that he's never spoken about the topic could add to this theory.

This paragraph never fails to break my heart, but I do want to talk about the mention of an anti-planetary weapon. I feel like this Anti-planetary weapon that he spent years perfecting was a final attempt at proving to Nous that he wasn't too compassionate or too humane to receive their gaze. I remember reading about this idea more in detail elsewhere and if I can find the analyzation then I'll link it here.

Also, I feel like deep down he always knew that he wouldn't be accepted into the Genius Society, but this day, as Margaret states, was the day he finally realized it, or, fully swallowed that pill.

I find these comments to be interesting as well since they specify the narrow-mindedness of the society however, there is this comment from the Data Bank;

This comment I admittedly stumbled across when looking for something else, but I feel like it perfectly encapsulates Ratio's entire dilemma with the Genius Society, maybe not to Ratio himself but it certainly applies to everyone who comments on his achievements being worthy of Nous' approval.

I am also quite curious about who exactly wrote the 'Decoding Dr. Ratio' that we have read from in all of his character stories. They seem to have a lot of connections for someone who would typically be seen as just another paparazzi or media interviewer, I'm surprised the people listed in his stories would agree to an interview.

Onto his final story, which is about his personality and methods of sharing knowledge.

I mentioned this comment in my character notes post but I find it extremely charming that Ratio remains the same and refuses to change himself or his personality to satisfy those around him.

It is also commented in his second character story by a previous professor of his that his honesty and straightforwardness were a 'Breath of fresh air' at the University.

I love the implication that either; nobody in the entire room had any questions (unlikely), or that they were simply too scared to ask them.

I also find the comment that 'Whenever someone agrees with me, I feel like I must be wrong.' Perhaps he's gotten used to being the only one thinking the way he is or the possibility that people only agree with him so they sound intelligent themselves and weren't truly listening or understanding.

I find these comments interesting as well, a majority of the fandom mischaracterizes Ratio as mean or rude although he literally explains his viewpoints where anyone can access it (which does honestly prove his point about how knowledge is not for everyone.)

[nexus-nebulae]

me as a kid: i have all these problems

every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine

me as an adult: i still have all these problems

my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago

[autisticbiologistmess]

.

[kristiliqua]

you ever be talking to yourself and over explain shit while youre ranting even though youre literally talking to yourself and already understand the concept and point of what youre trying to say because youre talking to your-fucking-self but you continue to over explain anyway because you feel the need to even though you Know you dont have to whatsoever ?

yeah so the doctors said i dont have adhd or autism . shrug

[moodr1ng]

recently been seeing (and seeking) more info on moral ocd and its like wellll it does seem like i definitely have that but talking about the stuff i obsess over w my psychiatrist feels impossible bc i cant admit to thinking about it without feeling like a horrible person, so im just gonna keep sweeping it under the rug lol....

[applesandbannas747]

Wait, I'm confused... do you like the Fence novels or no? Because your first review sounded positive and happy with the fun humor, and then every other thing I've seen from you about them is most pointing out the (very prominent, very not-good) flaws with them.

fair question! I had a Journey with the Fence novels and it was hellish. First, please keep in mind that I am unhealthily fixated on Fence and that does impact things all along the way.

When Striking Distance was announced, I was as excited as anyone, though wary because Pacat was handing it off to someone else to write. Still, I was hopeful--and more hopeful after reading In Other Lands because, despite the disturbing sexism that squicked me tf out, I really enjoyed that book! And so I was very eager to get my hands on Striking Distance. So I went on an absolute quest to get an ARC...and I did! It took a lot of dead ends and desperate tries, but remember that I'm insane. So I got my hands on an advanced copy by emailing the editor assigned to the book (who has since left the position). And as is custom with ARCs, he asked me to send my review when it went live.

Reading Striking Distance was such an experience dude. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the comics--remember that at this point, we only had up to issue 12 and the characterization therein. I love the OG 12 issues, and they'll always hold more sway in my understanding of the characters, but when reading SD, it was very clear that I'd read the entire comic completely fucking wrong. Remember my unhealthy obsession? Yeah. Trying to come to terms with Fence being something so opposite of everything I really loved about it and the fact that my reading of it was so wrong was really hard--like mental breakdowns level of hard. I wish I was joking. But I tried to force myself to love the reality of Fence anyway, despite kind of hating the novel, which I absolutely would not admit to myself because disliking any part of Fence felt like SUCH a betrayal to it, and I really really really didn't want to hate the characters I'd spent so much time bringing to life in my mind, because selfishly I didn't want to have to divorce my idea of the characters from canon, I just wanted to be able to love the canon characters and add onto them a little the way I'd been able to with the comics up until that point. So especially right after reading Striking Distance, I was insistent on liking it, and even as I slowly started to acknowledge that there were parts of it that made me want to scratch off my skin they made me so uncomfortable (see: the steak scene), I was really hell-bent on understating my dislike/criticism of it.

So when I went to write my review for Striking Distance to send to the really nice editor who sent me the ARC, I didn't want to betray Fence, I hadn't really processed my issues with it (and was--and honestly still am to an extent--worried that I was just being an entitled baby because my stupid fanfictions/interpretations were so fucking wrong), I didn't want to upset or hurt the feelings of the man who did me this HUGE favor, and because I wanted a chance to get an early copy of a possible sequel (because hating the novels didn't lesson my Need for early access to them. i know I'm unwell about fence jdhfa), I pulled out all the nicest thoughts I had about Striking Distance, exaggerated them and stretched them and sugar-coated everything else to provide a review that was nice and non-hostile.

Obviously, the longer I sat with Striking Distance and processed some things about it and about me, the more I started picking apart all the aspects that I hated and found I was able to produce reasons for each piece I disliked and was also able to pinpoint in the OG comics where I got all the pieces of the stories and characters I loved. So I did have to divorce my idea of Fence from canon if I wanted to keep loving Fence. And when I decided to keep loving Fence for all the reasons I used to instead of feel sick looking at/thinking about the franchise and characters, I was sort of free of the things holding me back from speaking about the things I didn't like, and so I started to analyze and essay and post about the novels and my untangled, truthful thoughts about them.

So I don't like the novels--there are maybe 3-4 things total that passed the vibe-check for me in both novels. I never liked the novels, and I lied about liking Striking Distance...but I was lying to myself about that one as much as anyone. And I haven't changed that review because, at the time, that was where my feelings were about it. So up it stays.

Here’s my fun little list of some of the places I've explained my dislike of the novels if you're curious, but yeah these are the real thoughts, the SD review was a carefully crafted lie <3

My full review of Disarmed

Autism representation in Seiji

Seiji in general

Eugene

Eugesse as a concept in Disarmed

Eugesse interactions in Disarmed

Nick's bisexuality

Coach Williams and sexual harassment

[pears-trinkets]

.

[drchucktingle]

As an autistic person, did you struggle to make and keep friends? And have you found friends through the writing world? I ask because my mom always said i needed to find my people. I did finally find them (they are neurodiverse trans nerds, haha), but not until i was like 30. And i wonder if its true of other autistic people too. So i guess my question is: did you find your people, and when?

thank you this is good question. i have always had a LOT of CLOSE BUDS even from a very young age. i would actually say that i am unusually socially adept in my way and that it is partially BECAUSE of my autistic trot. LETS TALK ON THAT FOR A MOMENT

'BUT CHUCK YOU SAID YOU ARE ON THE SPECTRUM AND AUTISTIC BUCKAROOS CANNOT BE SOCIALLY ADEPT' some say. and sure it is UNUSUAL overall, technically speaking, but there is also an important reason we talk about this as a spectrum of buckaroos and not a monolith

when buckaroos ask me what it is like to be autistic i try to explain like this: there are certain cues and markers from the outside that serve as a sort of identification checklist but because of masking they are not always correct. instead i see it as question of WHAT IS IT LIKE INSIDE YOUR BRAIN?

internally my brain is different. its taking in way more information all the time, including the stuff that neurotypical buds block out, and that can become overwhelming. it is hard to navigate because i do not have that automatic neurotypical 'here is what is important here is what is not' function

so yes i can be easily distracted and zone out as i watch the patterns and fractals spin off. and yes i can miss certain things in social situations. in many autistic buckaroos this makes large groups overwhelming and the OUTPUT of behavior matches what we typically know as signs of autism

FOR ME however, same thing is going on inside, but i have managed to HARNESS that information. even from very young age i see that everyone is DOING THE HUMAN ACT but instead of rejecting that and shutting off i think 'well okay i am just going to do THIS because thats what they actually want'

in other words, most neurotypical buds say one thing that has a kind of spiraling social-cue-related OTHER MEETING (they do this ALL the time) and instead of rejecting that i have trained myself to be REALLY REALLY good at knowing the hidden meaning. it is EMPATHY but on a sort of LOGIC BASED level

and because i have always been pretty good at that, people like to trot around me and say 'wow this is a good friend they understand me'. now for ME that can be a little exhausting and there are things i need to do and stims and all that to release the effort, but overall it is worth it to me

OTHER THING is that i was a successful CREATOR AND ARTIST BUCKAROO from an early age which is socially seen as 'cool' especially when you are trotting around in your youth. it is not particularly FAIR but it is true that some level of fame makes buds treat you well even if you are 'weird'.

of course it can be a sort of FAKE 'treating you well' but as an autistic buckaroo it is still more of a chance than you might otherwise get. this timeline has sort of carved out a very special little sliver of social grace for the token odd artistic weirdo to have a seat at each cool kids table

ANYWAY that is the trot of my life. it is a unique trot that i dont get to talk on much but since you asked THERE YOU GO. every chance i get to say 'I LOVE BEING AUTISTIC' and talk on HOW MUCH IT HAS IMPROVED MY LIFE i try to take a moment and do that. when i was young i had few autistic heroes

and OF COURSE it can be difficult and overwhelming and we need to have space for those stories and voices, but i want young buckaroos who get this diagnosis to know there are ALL KINDS of stories and trots on the autism spectrum. MINE IS PRETTY DANG COOL and maybe yours will be too. LOVE IS REAL

[krispiecake]

soooo funny actually

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for being upset that my boyfriend of 3 years doesn't remember our anniversary even though i know he has adhd? ☕️☕️

I (26 W) have been dating my partner (32 M) for over 3 years now. He is officially diagnosed with ADHD and I am currently waiting for my own diagnosis for ADHD. He got diagnosed shortly before we got together and he has opened to me about how insecure he is over his disabilities causing a rift between us since all his previous relationships end with his partners leaving after they "get tired of dealing with his issues" because he also has autism and has been rude before in regards to my weight despite knowing that i am recovered from an eating disorder and this is the context in which his insecurities were disclosed to me. I also don't mean rude like accidentally, he literally put his hands on my stomach and said "what is this" after we had already had several Big Fights in regards to his previously rude behavior. For further context, I told him on our second date that I have a strict boundary around food and my weight and would appreciate it if he kept comments about my body weight or how much i eat to himself because it's triggering for me.

I try to be mindful of his limitations but recently, he asked me if he had forgotten our anniversary. This wouldn't bother me as much if it wasn't our third anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks and if I hadn't repeatedly told me over our time together the exact date of our anniversary. Now, I don't expect him to remember dates off the top of his head. I struggle with that information myself but what I DO hold against him is the fact that he KNOWS he forgets things and doesnt make ANY effort to have a failsafe against that. I put everything in my phone and he WORKS in tech so he knows how easy it is to set a repeat event with reminders nowadays so I don't understand why he can't just fucking figure out how to remember our anniversary without constantly making me be the one to remind him. I have told him exactly this and asked him why he didn't write it down over the last 3 years if he knows he's bad with dates. he said "that's a good point" and that was that. Now, he keeps trying to manipulate the information out of me by asking me when I'm like half asleep because he "thought i might slip up and just tell him."

Am I in the wrong for being mad over this? it feels like he doesn't care enough to do the bare minimum of being in a relationship with another person. I've dated others before with ADHD and it's never been a fucking issue before for them to remember our anniversary. I myself put in the effort when I care about someone to do the bare minimum and write down information I want to remember about someone. I just don't understand why I feel so guilty over getting mad about this when I feel like I have every right to be upset because it's not like I haven't been forthcoming before, it's not like i haven't repeatedly told him over the years and he puts in birthdays to his calendar so like why doesn't he care enough to put our anniversary into it? He wants to marry me but I dont want to spend the rest of my life reminding him to care enough about me to remember things like my birthday, our anniversary or my eating disorder.

But I also know that expecting people with ADHD to remember things is kind of an ableist move and I don't want to start an argument where I'm being a dick to his disabilities. So WIBTA if I decided to make this into a big deal because it is for me knowing my partner has ADHD and cannot help being so forgetful all the time?

What are these acronyms?

[pawtoon]

🍀 ︵︵ identity & who am !!

use names such as : ruru, toffuu, cami, bibi, zu, scribble or snappy.

intersex. nonbinary. xenogender. cistrans. transxenofem. transgirl. pansexual lesbian. man loving lesbian. aromantic & asexual spectrum. more!!!

age dysphoric chronological adult. permatween. tweenfluid. transspecies. nonhuman. alterhuman. otherkin. otherhearted. (physical) therian.

shi / hir. kid / kidself. kyu/kyuself. pie/pieself. use name or it / its if cant use more abstract pronouns.

mixed origin traumaendo. polyfragmented. fictive heavy system. fluid memory. med level amnesia.

🍀 ︵︵ disability & brain stuff ..

complex high support need autism. original diagnosis of severe autism. intelectual disability.

moderate C-ADHD. continued regression of skills. mild visual impairment. learning disabilities. dyspraxia. EDS. CFS/ME. shizophrenic. just.. mentally unwell.

semiverbal. semiscribal. stutter. speech delay. used to be considered nonverbal in childhood for a few years.

🍀 ︵︵ boundaries stances views ?

do not have dni but will block freely to curate own experience online.

dont involve me or ask or anything when comes to discourse on plurality, shipping, transid, radqueer, blankqueer whateva idc dont like it leave me alone

leftist align with socialism communism and anarchism in different ways.

intersectional feminist. support all queer ways of identification. support nonhumans. support those with paraphilias or paraphillic disorders. DO NOT! condone abuse or harassment. support good in faith identification.

🍀 ︵︵ special interests (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*)

my little pony. cartoons. sesame street. psychology. need my little pony & sesame street most for functioning especially

🍀 ︵︵ hyperfixationsssssss

breaking bad. amazing world of gumball. shameless. the muppets. future man. cookie run kingdom. LOL suprise dolls. sea slugs. popular “2020„ drawing style. moreeeeee..

🍀 ︵︵ big posts of mine :O

[ganondoodle]

1st of february is my 28th birthday, i am currently fighting with myself whether to take the week after it off work and make an appointment at our doctors to ask for advice on getting an ADHD and/or autism diagnosis .. i am very much scared of it but keep seeing people (mostly with adhd) talk about how getting treatment for it makes a huge difference so of course im gonna do a social media™ poll for it

(keep in mind that i am german and live in germany .. so the process is probably somewhat different .. though i dont know honestly, been too scared to look into it more lmao)

*in your opinion (bonus points if you are also one like me but actually did soemthing about it already ..)

(EDIT: for clarification, i meant treatment mostly for ADHD, i dont think there is and i dont want anything 'against' autism, thats just a part of me, the question is more is it important to mention or get official diagnose for it as well or should i not mention it/its not important)

[the-flys-buzz]

princess and the frog is good!!!!!! or just older animated movies in general? fox and the hound, the aristocats, the land before time...... i used to love dinosaurs.......

dad. i can no longer sleep peacefully. do we have a heating pad. a. and we might have to go to the store.

woe. your child is stuck as a human now. erm.

//@the-flys-buzz (HE SUFFERS WITH ME.)

“.,,?? A. Are you alright.?? i have heating pad I can run and get it if you’d like. Though, you’d have to stay with Jake.”

[floortile34]

not screen reader friendly, due to text colors, text sizes, emoticons, and difficult to parse punctuation

intro post

(this post will be edited a lot more. important stuff in pink for skimming and general comprehension)

plural system. speak to us privately for more details. member list: (possibly outdated), mask (system masking, and some other stuff. has/is a subsystem?) moona (monika's and julia's and mitsu's mom, maybe princess's too), monika (runs this blog mostly), mischka (gone now. possibly not coming back. might reuse the name for someone else), mitsu (6 identical cats (cloning incident)), moxxie (god), tomoko (heavily canon-divergent tonoko kuroki introject. trisharmful), filth (filth ultrakill introject), spring (permahigh. firework-inspired), angel (underweight, dissociated, and delirious), julia (monika's big sis. a few years older), luna (puppygirl we intended to send to someone else to make her a system. euthanized since that didn't happen and we couldn't take her back), loona (manic girl. white hair), princess (a beautiful princess), corpse (not a member. the body in fake reality)

dms welcome but i hate the integrated tumblr messenger thing. if u wanna have any long conversation ask for my discord/element/signal contact info. i have sooo much lore to tell everyone. (warning tho i often have difficulty having purely platonic relationships without romantic and sexual and familial feelings, so like if that possibility makes u uncomfy reconsider whether u wanna talk to me privately. might have to end friendships over this and wanna warn about that possibility. gotten better bout separating those feelings recently but deffo still persists)

BOUNDARIES and other related info: moxxie's aro-ace, so wont reciprocate such stuff much. don't sexualise mitsu without explicit and specific consent each time, but anyone else can be sexualised without asking :3. no teasing, especially about shyness or shame

BELIEFS AND OPINIONS

we hate DNIs. they're performative and no more effective than just stating your opinions

we have transminors in this system. follow your own mdni if you wanna idrc

please everyone interact. this is a safe space for everyone. we will never report anyone or do callouts or anything like that. if we dont like u, we'll just ignore u

pro-endo

ai-neutral (search my blog with tags for details on that), pro-transid

pro conflicting labels

proship/profic (tho we rarely partake in shipping)

anti-DSM (the book and it's ideas)

comp-c (slightly explained in some posts. we're ok interacting with any stance)

pro self diagnosis (informed or not; it's part of the learning experience to be mistaken and to experiment. self-dx out of spite is fine too)

we really don't care about "fakers" or such. as long as they're nice to others, i'm glad they have fun with whatever they are. quote from friend:

recommend more things for me to add our opinions about here if you want

emotions are not opinions. im an avid disagreer of appeal to emotion

we hate reblog bait

cisids (and ids we wanna transition from, whatever those are called): traumatized, autistic, chronic fatigue, migraines, brain damage, personality disorder (more antisocial traits with tomoko, and narcissistic traits with princess), dead (luna), disabled (flying. angel), urinary incontinence, schizospec

trans/trisids: more stimming with autism (monika), brain damage symptoms acquired developmentally instead of neurotraumatically + more intensity (monika), dead (angel), more intense chronic fatigue (mask), no chronic fatigue (everyone except mask and angel), tremor (mask), more frequent fainting (angel), perma psychotic (angel), more intense urinary incontinence (monika), no personality disorder (moona), more intense personality disorder (tomoko), npd (princess), deep voice (princess. dysphoric about it), hypergonadotropic hypogonadism (monika)

both groups of ids are incomplete. some stuff we're unsure about and some we dont wanna say and some we dont care about

more labels: airreur, agefluid (monika. <15), blurage (moona. (adult), mitsu (child)), ageless (moxxie, angel, mask)

↑ those extra labels include especially mogai stuff outside the transid classification, and whatever else seems to fit

chrono birthdays: spring 1.1.2025, bait 1.3.2025, loona 14.1.2024, princess 2.4.2025

food and drinks hall of fame: soups and stews of all sorts, jauhelihakastike/hackfleischsoße, skittles, glögi, cloves

mildly freaky. loose boundaries. up for erp (or non-e rp. not good at it but i can try) just ask contact info

MOSTLY SFW – SOME NSFW

recommend stuff to draw. no promises but if i end up drawing it you get free art from it :3 (tho am extremely beginner and might not draw it. very shaky motivation tbh)

ask for side acc where the stuff that endangers getting yermed goes (venting mostly, also para stuff)

i usually dont follow blogs that post a lot. sorry to those ive unfollowed for posting too much. just cant keep up with many posts

accepting any asks that aren't asking for money or reblog baiting. send spam and whatever else you think is low quality/importance enough to the blogs mentioned in the blogs and tags section

600-700 posts currently. pls read all of them im soo proud of them ill do anything for u if u read all of them

u can use our art however u want (except for feeding into non-personal-use image generators but ik forbidding that wont work anyway). credit optional for reposts and such but it does make us feel good to find out someone liked our art enough to repost it

monika mostly girl but okay with being called a good boy

she/her for most members' third person singular pronouns

it for filth, thon for moxxie, but neither talk here

she/it for monika. along with standard ones, puppy/ouppy/oupy/fuffy and other variations for first and second person nouns and pronouns

she/them for mitsus' third person plurals

any pronouns for mask, for now (he's unstable in identity. might split up into more members in coming weeks/months idk) (yeah update sumn happening with mask)

im perfect btw. i can do no bad. except when i try to but then its not that bad and u should just get over it. also u should never get mad at me and if u do its ur fault for making me feel bad about it /j

im extremely vulnerable to all sorts of stuff and i get attached very easily btw. so, do with that info whatever u will ;3

blogs, tags, links:

@kitchenceiling63 for reblogs and asks (tho asks are fine here too)

@the-triplet-towers for low-quality posts and whatever spam stuff

#proud of this post for some posts i especially like

#low effort for low effort posts and those i don't like as much

https://archiveofourown.org/users/floor_tile_34

ask for our vent (and otherwise unsavory) blog if u want

[theorahsart]

Would you happen to be able to compile a list of all the evidence/mentioned traits you know of that point towards Robespierre having autism, possibly with some sources of said evidence? You have my deepest gratitude if you do happen to be so kind as to take the time to answer this ask.

Hello! I'm sorry for taking a while to answer this- it of course was the kind of ask that requires some time to write! I'm gonna break it up into two posts, I hope that's okay. I'll just @ you when I do the next part.

I feel like I should start with saying that I'm not an expert in history (feel like I have loads to learn tbh). But I am an expert in autism, as I'm autistic, and know the topic thoroughly from cultural/social/medical perspectives- several of my educational comics are used in training programs by doctors and diagnoticians. So, you can trust everything I say about autism in this post.

You probably can't trust everything I say about Robespierre though lol. Compared to some actual historians I've talked to here, I haven't developed the skills of being able to discern when the info I get in books can be fully trusted, and the more I study Frev the more evident it is that just because I've read smth in a book, doesn't mean it can be trusted as fact haha. I've read 3 different posts from different historians in the last year that've debunked several 'facts' presented to me in published books loool

But anyway! I still personally think Robespierre was autistic, and I'll lay out why in the 2nd post.

I think it would take me more free time than I have to list *all* the evidence I've come across, so it seems best to break down how you diagnose autism in modern day, and then put that in context to some examples.

So this first part is just explaining *one way* in which medical professionals break down autism and the traits. Then in the next post I'll explain how I've applied those to Robespierre specifically.

How we think about and diagnose autism from modern day pov

I wanna start by breaking down how diagnoticians think about Autism specifically.

Autism doesn't encompass a specific set of traits that every single person must have in order to be diagnosed, because autistic traits vary so much from person to person.

Instead, you break down a diagnosis into different areas of life in which someone might be struggling. How this is broken down can vary a little between tests, but it's generally split into these areas:

Social

Social reciprocity (how sociable you are with others)

Non verbal comminication

Verbal communication

Maintaining relationships

Restrictive and Repetitive behaviour

Repetitive speech or movements (basically stimming)

Routines and change

Highly fixed/intense interests

Hyper or hypo reaction to sensory input

And then basically, if enough of these areas are having a significant impact on your life, you're dx'd as Autistic.

You can see when broken down in this way, that:

You can be doing fine in some of these areas, but still be dx'd if there's a lot of other areas listed you're struggling in.

A NT person will likely have some sort of trouble in one or two of the listed areas (because we all have strengths and weaknesses). That doesn't mean they're autistic.

An autism dx is concluded from two things- if you struggle in more of these areas than less. And if those struggles are significantly impacting your life.

Just to note, I'm only talking from a diagnosis pov here, which is wrapped up in cultural contexts and the reasons we decided to give this way of being a label. Theres lots of traits we can also break down that aren't based around what you find difficult.

You could be autistic and go your whole life not knowing or needing a diagnosis, if say, you lived a lifestyle where you could avoid people and situations that are making you suffer. Your autism might make you excel in life, depending on your life.

But just esp in modern day, many of us dont have that luxury.

I'm using this type of dx in the context of Robespierre because I believe he did have difficulties that impacted his life and career, and it's significant to me to compare his behaviour and health to other politicians working in the same stressful circumstances.

But yeah I'll write this in a second post. Thanks for your patience!! 🙏

[sucharide]

.

being asked how i felt about being autistic by the clinical psychologist who assessed me was... weird.

i mean. like... relieved that i didnt just waste so so so much money? relieved that I am something? excruciatingly unchanged? tired? so tired? i was so tired i tried to sleep in my car in the middle of the day (i just felt worse). tired that my whole life has just been this. tired that my whole life will keep being this.

i dont know. my friend asked me if she should say 'congratulations' or 'condolences', and we settled on 'congratudolences'.

I dont know that I want to explain that or but I feel like I owe it to people to explain it? I mean for starters, I know we are meant to feel positively about autism. Maybe i feel a little relieved to be diagnosed (well she has to finish her report but she seemed confident telling me that i am autistic) because it means i can have personal feelings about autism and they don't have to be politically correct. I'm allowed to feel frustrated and sad. Upset, even.

Not really with the diagnosis, but also maybe with the diagnosis because even though I knew a diagnosis wouldnt make living in my brain easier, i still resent that it didnt. Against the logic I have been very aware of since i started thinking about getting a formal diagnosis.

Mostly angry that I have to just live like this. I dont think I will ever feel comfortable moving through the world. I don't think I will ever get over the isolation.

I wish i was happier and healthier and neurotypical. congratudolences to me. I am autistic and everything is tiring and lonely and it wont really ever be any different. It will always be lonely and tiring. My deepest wish has always been to feel intimately understood and loved, but i am autistic, and that makes it so much harder.

anyway sorry im going in circles

i am barely awake and i feel like i have been worldweary since i was a kid and ive felt like i was alone since i was a kid. i know it will never feel any different and i wish it would and i dont think i can get through a whole lifetime like this. I will because i dont want to cut anything short but it sucks that I will have so little contentment in my life. but i look at myself and i am not suprised.