#dont ask me about my autism diagnosis
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giving my thoughts and ideas on Ratio's character stories
I wouldn't call this much of an analysis but we'll see how it goes
Starting out with his first character story, most of it is Professor Rond's recommendation letter.
I'd like to start by sharing my thoughts about Ratio and Rond first before actually getting into dissecting the letter itself.
So, firstly, I'd like to mention that (to my knowledge) we have never heard of or from Ratio's parents. I find that ironic considering what a big shot he is, I doubt that his parents would ever willingly shut up about their son.
Reading that Rond had a 'significant influence on Ratio's upbringing' particularly stands out to me because, at least at the time of the original letter being written, Ratio was in secondary school (Grade 9-12, though some of the wording in the letter lead me to believe he was likely on the lower end of that range).
Now, a high school teacher having a 'significant influence' on someone's upbringing isn't necessarily uncommon, nor are old teachers proud of their past students becoming extremely successful. However these points, alongside the fact that Ratio's parents are nowhere to be seen in canon, lead me to believe that there was some sort of familial relationship between them, especially seeing Rond's reaction to being asked about Ratio as well as how he had kept the original letter.
Moving on to the actual letter.
Grade skipping is a pretty common practice where I'm from, as it allows learning at the appropriate/needed level (ignoring the fact that the school system is in shambles).
However, the way this is phrased is as if Rond were trying to convince him to be able to skip grades. If he were in grade 11 or 12 I feel like it would not have been phrased this way, which is what leads me to believe he was likely younger, possibly fresh out of middle school.
The highlight on creativity is just because it makes me smile honestly, also it ties into one of my earlier posts about how I think Ratio would adore the subject of art.
I would like to return to my point of Rond being a potential parental figure to Ratio, seeing as he seems to know his daily routine well enough to confidently write about it in his letter of recommendation.
On to his second character story, which is mostly online posts in a thread-like format.
It wasn't until his eighth doctoral degree that he was awarded with First Class Honors, also since he is the first person to receive such in two amber eras it means he was likely the only one on stage at that time.
It also states that at the time he was already a prominent figure in society, which doesn't surprise me given the accomplishments listed by Rond in the letter despite him being in high school at the time it was written. However, he would most likely be an adult by the time he finished his eighth doctorate.
No real comment on this I found it funny that they put etc instead of continuing to list fields.
I also just find these funny and wanted to share them, but the disagreement on the last comment shows how much people admire him. I feel like that's a topic that's rather watered down in the fandom, but people genuinely admire Ratio a lot and there's plenty of reason for them to.
full-time university teachers tend to teach about 5 courses per academic year, meaning Ratio has been teaching for about 10 years.
Moving onto the third story, which is a statement from a former assistant of his about his desire to join the genius society.
I find this to be an interesting point, it seems like joining the Genius Society would be an obvious next step for a man with so many accomplishments but it's stated not once, but twice that he has never spoken about the subject (to the public at least).
I am a believer in the theory that Ratio hasn't been allowed into the Genius Society due to his humanity/compassion and his desire to spread knowledge to everyone, and I feel like this specification that he's never spoken about the topic could add to this theory.
This paragraph never fails to break my heart, but I do want to talk about the mention of an anti-planetary weapon. I feel like this Anti-planetary weapon that he spent years perfecting was a final attempt at proving to Nous that he wasn't too compassionate or too humane to receive their gaze. I remember reading about this idea more in detail elsewhere and if I can find the analyzation then I'll link it here.
Also, I feel like deep down he always knew that he wouldn't be accepted into the Genius Society, but this day, as Margaret states, was the day he finally realized it, or, fully swallowed that pill.
I find these comments to be interesting as well since they specify the narrow-mindedness of the society however, there is this comment from the Data Bank;
This comment I admittedly stumbled across when looking for something else, but I feel like it perfectly encapsulates Ratio's entire dilemma with the Genius Society, maybe not to Ratio himself but it certainly applies to everyone who comments on his achievements being worthy of Nous' approval.
I am also quite curious about who exactly wrote the 'Decoding Dr. Ratio' that we have read from in all of his character stories. They seem to have a lot of connections for someone who would typically be seen as just another paparazzi or media interviewer, I'm surprised the people listed in his stories would agree to an interview.
Onto his final story, which is about his personality and methods of sharing knowledge.
I mentioned this comment in my character notes post but I find it extremely charming that Ratio remains the same and refuses to change himself or his personality to satisfy those around him.
It is also commented in his second character story by a previous professor of his that his honesty and straightforwardness were a 'Breath of fresh air' at the University.
I love the implication that either; nobody in the entire room had any questions (unlikely), or that they were simply too scared to ask them.
I also find the comment that 'Whenever someone agrees with me, I feel like I must be wrong.' Perhaps he's gotten used to being the only one thinking the way he is or the possibility that people only agree with him so they sound intelligent themselves and weren't truly listening or understanding.
I find these comments interesting as well, a majority of the fandom mischaracterizes Ratio as mean or rude although he literally explains his viewpoints where anyone can access it (which does honestly prove his point about how knowledge is not for everyone.)
#can you tell when i learned how to use the straight line tool with my highlight#guys im going insane#im so normal#dont ask me about my autism diagnosis#please reblog if you have other thoughts or ideas id love to hear#sorry mobile users if the formatting is weird i wrote this on desktop#★ – posts!#★ – analysis!#dr ratio#dr veritas ratio#veritas ratio#hsr ratio#hsr dr ratio#honkai star rail#hsr
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me as a kid: i have all these problems
every adult around me: you're not old enough to know what's wrong with you, you're fine
me as an adult: i still have all these problems
my doctors after i finally got the opportunity to choose them myself: oh my fucking god why have you never gotten help for all these problems. you should have seen me 10 years ago
#problems i have finally gotten help for that i was told i was not old enough to know about:#AMPS (was told it was anxiety and then when i kept coming back they said it was fibro Quite Literally just to get me to shut up)#(like the doc i just saw literally said 'they diagnose fibromyalgia here when they dont know what the problem is but dont feel like testing)#multiple food allergies (was also told the stomach pain and vomiting was anxiety)#seborrheic dermatitis (i was told 'youre just stressed thats why you have a rash')#(which- if im so stressed my skin is literally dying MAYBE I STILL NEED HELP?????????)#autism and adhd (my father knew! but refused to get me assessed bc if i dont have a diagnosis theres no problem right :)#anxiety disorder (oh so when I'm in pain i DO have anxiety but when i say i have anxiety I'm overreacting okay)#dyscalculia and possibly dyslexia ('you just need to try harder' I've asked for a tutor five times)#some of my doctors don't actually believe me about some of these problems BECAUSE i have no records from when i was a kid#they're like 'it just popped up at 18? seems suspicious......' like I WASN'T ALLOWED TO GO TO THE DOCTOR'S UNTIL THEN#there's definitely more but I'm still mad abt it#i might not be in a wheelchair Almost All The Time if i had gotten help BEFORE i lost half the feeling in my legs#i KNEW the fibro was a BS diagnosis#i tried to get assessed for autism at 16 and was told i have schizotypal personality disorder instead with literally zero testing#like my psych just refused to allow me to get tested for autism she was like 'no you have spd i Just Know'#same psych that said there was zero way i had anything like DID because my symptoms didn't present Exactly like the Only other#patient at the clinic with DID. i want to note that that was a 14 year old boy still being actively abused#and i was a 20 year old who was in a safe environment and had distanced myself from my abusers and stressors
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#My sister just told me i need to go to therapy#I do#I know shes right#But i've been analysing myself and my patterns and my needs#And i'm sure if i just got an autism diagnosis (to validate my childhood trauma and start to heal) and got top surgery i would feel much#Better#I dont know who i am#I feel like i lie all the time#About who i am or who im not#I feel so disconnected from my body and from myself#And i have to face that my parent dont have tools to help me#Or understand me#I have to resignate to the fact that i know a lot more than they do about autism and being trans#And stop seeking validation where i find none#I know what i have to do#But im so scared that i wont recognize myself#That i'll go through so much change and i'll be worse because of it#I see myself in the mirror#And i see a beautiful girl#With a beautiful body#But it isn't mine#I'm not mine#And i feel like i'm faking all the time#And when i tell people this and they ask me who is the real me#I just dont know how to answer#Trans people are beautiful#And i'm pretty sure im trans#But what if i'm just nobody
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you ever be talking to yourself and over explain shit while youre ranting even though youre literally talking to yourself and already understand the concept and point of what youre trying to say because youre talking to your-fucking-self but you continue to over explain anyway because you feel the need to even though you Know you dont have to whatsoever ?
yeah so the doctors said i dont have adhd or autism . shrug
#this is just one thing . dont diagnose urself over one thing#but this is one thing of many for me#and my selective mutism prevents me from feeling like my test results were accurate#since the autism test didnt accommodate it at all#and the adhd was basically just a fucking reaction and impulsivity test . no questions or nothing#fuckin test u could do online on goddamn human benchmark#plus an iq test ? or a pattern recognition test#like they literally asked zero questions bc thats the nonverbal test they had#woo selective mutism !!!!!!!! hooray !!!!!! (dw im working on dealing with it now :3 so hopefully after that i can do some retesting)#anyway i like listening to this one yt video of like . hours of ‘pink noise for autism’#i should listen to it more . it like …. turns off excess noise n thoughts . im sure the ‘for autism’ part doesnt apply for me tho ! haha !#idk what normal pink noise sounds like but this one is good :)#instead of getting a diagnosis ig i’ll just tear up while randomly thinking about the adventure zone . idk Shrug#and occasionally find myself randomly walking on my tippy toes for literally no reason#like other times i walk normally but Sometimes . Sometimes i go on my toes without realizing#there are many such oddities in my life i suppose#some of which Could just be my uber anxiety#but i wouldnt be so sure . idk anxiety and autism n shit can look similar n its annoying LOL#anyway rant over i dont fweakin know#autism#neurodiversity#thats all i have the balls to tag this with ok bye#kristiliyaps
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recently been seeing (and seeking) more info on moral ocd and its like wellll it does seem like i definitely have that but talking about the stuff i obsess over w my psychiatrist feels impossible bc i cant admit to thinking about it without feeling like a horrible person, so im just gonna keep sweeping it under the rug lol....
#97#i also do not trust psychiatrists to correctly diagnose me unless i specifically tell them like.#about symptoms that are So Obviously caused by one illness that they basically cant get it wrong if theyre competent#any psych couldve diagnosed my did if theyre not of the 'did doesnt exist' camp bc i exhibit v clear symptoms of it#anything more complex than that..#eg. on my disability paperwork im marked down as having a 'profound personality disorder'#im not diagnosed with Any personality disorder.#im diagnosed w schizoaffective bipolar + did + adhd#alongside suspected ptsd + suspected anxiety disorder + undiagnosed ed (psych isnt specialized enough to diagnose it)#and on a waitlist for autism diagnosis#which one of these is the personality disorder?? they just say shit#i want to ask but i have this paranoid fear that my psych doesnt believe in my schizoaffective diagnosis#(hes not the one who made it) and im afraid that if i ask abt diagnosis hell like.#essentially deny the issues i have and have put so much effort into recognizing and accepting as real#and instead diagnose me w something i evidently dont have like bpd#the only way i could see my schizoaffective dx being wrong is if i have schizoid pd tho so maybe i rly should ask#bc its difficult to tell for myself whether what i refer to as delusions may be 'magical beliefs' under schizoid pd#but then again i think some of them are too extreme to be that??
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Wait, I'm confused... do you like the Fence novels or no? Because your first review sounded positive and happy with the fun humor, and then every other thing I've seen from you about them is most pointing out the (very prominent, very not-good) flaws with them.
fair question! I had a Journey with the Fence novels and it was hellish. First, please keep in mind that I am unhealthily fixated on Fence and that does impact things all along the way.
When Striking Distance was announced, I was as excited as anyone, though wary because Pacat was handing it off to someone else to write. Still, I was hopeful--and more hopeful after reading In Other Lands because, despite the disturbing sexism that squicked me tf out, I really enjoyed that book! And so I was very eager to get my hands on Striking Distance. So I went on an absolute quest to get an ARC...and I did! It took a lot of dead ends and desperate tries, but remember that I'm insane. So I got my hands on an advanced copy by emailing the editor assigned to the book (who has since left the position). And as is custom with ARCs, he asked me to send my review when it went live.
Reading Striking Distance was such an experience dude. I wanted to love it as much as I loved the comics--remember that at this point, we only had up to issue 12 and the characterization therein. I love the OG 12 issues, and they'll always hold more sway in my understanding of the characters, but when reading SD, it was very clear that I'd read the entire comic completely fucking wrong. Remember my unhealthy obsession? Yeah. Trying to come to terms with Fence being something so opposite of everything I really loved about it and the fact that my reading of it was so wrong was really hard--like mental breakdowns level of hard. I wish I was joking. But I tried to force myself to love the reality of Fence anyway, despite kind of hating the novel, which I absolutely would not admit to myself because disliking any part of Fence felt like SUCH a betrayal to it, and I really really really didn't want to hate the characters I'd spent so much time bringing to life in my mind, because selfishly I didn't want to have to divorce my idea of the characters from canon, I just wanted to be able to love the canon characters and add onto them a little the way I'd been able to with the comics up until that point. So especially right after reading Striking Distance, I was insistent on liking it, and even as I slowly started to acknowledge that there were parts of it that made me want to scratch off my skin they made me so uncomfortable (see: the steak scene), I was really hell-bent on understating my dislike/criticism of it.
So when I went to write my review for Striking Distance to send to the really nice editor who sent me the ARC, I didn't want to betray Fence, I hadn't really processed my issues with it (and was--and honestly still am to an extent--worried that I was just being an entitled baby because my stupid fanfictions/interpretations were so fucking wrong), I didn't want to upset or hurt the feelings of the man who did me this HUGE favor, and because I wanted a chance to get an early copy of a possible sequel (because hating the novels didn't lesson my Need for early access to them. i know I'm unwell about fence jdhfa), I pulled out all the nicest thoughts I had about Striking Distance, exaggerated them and stretched them and sugar-coated everything else to provide a review that was nice and non-hostile.
Obviously, the longer I sat with Striking Distance and processed some things about it and about me, the more I started picking apart all the aspects that I hated and found I was able to produce reasons for each piece I disliked and was also able to pinpoint in the OG comics where I got all the pieces of the stories and characters I loved. So I did have to divorce my idea of Fence from canon if I wanted to keep loving Fence. And when I decided to keep loving Fence for all the reasons I used to instead of feel sick looking at/thinking about the franchise and characters, I was sort of free of the things holding me back from speaking about the things I didn't like, and so I started to analyze and essay and post about the novels and my untangled, truthful thoughts about them.
So I don't like the novels--there are maybe 3-4 things total that passed the vibe-check for me in both novels. I never liked the novels, and I lied about liking Striking Distance...but I was lying to myself about that one as much as anyone. And I haven't changed that review because, at the time, that was where my feelings were about it. So up it stays.
Here’s my fun little list of some of the places I've explained my dislike of the novels if you're curious, but yeah these are the real thoughts, the SD review was a carefully crafted lie <3
My full review of Disarmed
Autism representation in Seiji
Seiji in general
Eugene
Eugesse as a concept in Disarmed
Eugesse interactions in Disarmed
Nick's bisexuality
Coach Williams and sexual harassment
#jackshit#jacksalt#thanks for the ask!💜#my reaction to and the impact on my mental health from SD was in fact so deranged and unhealthy that it's a huge factor#of what pushed me to pursue professional help and diagnosis to understand and cope with my emotions#it did not take long for them to clock the autism and bipolar#anyway i did get on mood stabilizers and have an explanation for why I'm like this#unfortunately it does not make me any LESS like this#and so i am feral about fence and it is not always in a good and healthy way <3#i am aware my negativity about the novels is upsetting to people but genuinely if i DONT hate the novels#i have to hate Fence itself#and fence is one of the reasons I'm still chugging along so i cant afford to lose it XD#fence novels#disarmed negative#fun fact this is the first time i took a break from fence to write an OG novel instead with an idea id planned for a fic#because if the characters in my head arent actually fence characters then i might as well write original fiction for my ocs#and that was good because it gave me the distance i needed (which is funny because by distance i mean that i was writing my novel side#by side with promised things lmfao) AND also proved to me that i love writing for fence too much to leave it and i hated the novel too much#to accept it as canon#so i packed up my ocs back into my little kerchief on my little stick and marched back over to ao3 and kept writing about them#as if they're fence characters#so to the people still with me at this point know that i love you and your readership means everything to me <3#fence comic
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#my mom just came over to tell me#YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?? your problem isnt autism your problem is that you cant adjust to everyday life and you're just too emotional#you just cant adjust and then you make it hard for yourself on purpose because you cant just get over it and forget it#you just let negativity fester inside of you#all because i told her that i wasnt chosen for an autism diagnosis via email lottery and she immediately answered with#STOP BEING SAD DONT CRY YOU JUST HAVE TO DO X Y AND Z and i explained to her for the 1000th time that she has to word it differnetly#because i didnt even tell her how i feel and she just assumed my emotions and then told me to STOP HAVING THEM#and i try to gently explain to her how she has to ask first and not assume because she makes me feel worse than i actually felt#and shes liks YEAH BUT I CANT CONTROLL MY EMOTIONS IM JUST A PASSIONATE MOTHER TRYING TO HELP HER KID#completely making it about her again and making me comfort her and her emotions and i told her that and she said#well then why dont you tell me to stop? you have to make me aware of it how else am i supposed to know#after several years of me telling her this and how she needs to think before she speaks#and after all this she came over to tell me ANYWAY YOUR PROBLEM ISNT AUTISM ANYWAY ITS JUST (DESCRIPTION OF AUTISM)#like???????? are you trying to win the other argument by telling me i didnt need the diagnosis anyway#anyway i said GOODBYE and shoved her out the door and locked it#im 30 and i still have to fight with her like im 13 and having to end arguments or physical abuse by shoving her out of my room#and pulling a bookshelf infront of the door and hiding in a corner where she cant see me through the window in the door
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soooo funny actually
#ive asked if staff can give me like just a general heads up if they know someone is moving in#not like any private info not even their name just like a ‘hey theres someone new that you might see around’#bc im autistic and change can rlly throw me off like u know a pretty basic autistic trait#and i literally just got told ‘no offence what does it have to do with you’#im not asking for their full name list of diagnosis’s nhs number and their fave colour#just you know. if theyre gonna be living here or not.#and its not like im not gonna find out bc im gonna see them it’s unavoidable information that everyone knows#i just want like a heads up like ‘hey asher someone new is moving in tomorrow’ like thats IT#so i dont freak out when theres just a whole stranger in communal areas or whatever and act weird#and i get it if like people cant tell me weeks in advance people are moving in on this day exactly at this time#LIKE IM NOT ASKING FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or even AFTER theyve moved in like ‘hey just so you know xx moved in yesterday’#and really dont think im being unreasonable by asking them to just tell me rather than let me get anxious about a stranger#like idk if that’s maintenance or staff or management or a new resident like not knowing is what makes me anxious#and rn im in my hours and my staff member is just talking to another staff member about tanning and bikinis and shit like theyre not#MY HOURS. idk#im just pissed off they acted like i was insane for asking for a heads up#they were like oh idk if we can cuz we dont always know exact dates and things change and and and and#and when i first brought it up they just kept saying different variations of how does it effect you why do you care what does it have to#do with you and its like. you know. the autism and the anxiety disorders u know the things you know about and are meant 2 be helping me with#UGHHHHHHH
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game!luigi headcanons!!!
i keep seeing a lot of people make headcanon dump posts, so i decided to make one of my various luigi headcanons myself! heres to anyone who wants to read this post! i hope none of you mind the tags, and i apologize if i bugged you!
@peaches2217 @pianokantzart @loud-kid2 @jelly-fish-wishes @itsavee4117 @silenzahra @supa-mehyro @supergay-64 @acen402 @totallyking @oh-my-gosh-its-j0sh @dayseedrawz2 @bberetd @megamagimugi
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- luigi has autism spectrum disorder, he was diagnosed at a young age along with marios adhd diagnosis. he also has generalized anxiety disorder and sometimes depression, but he has found many great ways to cope throughout the years.
- luigi LOVES cows. any animal he doesnt know the name of would be called "cow". he uses this as a placeholder word, and he doesnt express the fact he doesnt know the animal directly.
- anytime luigi is overly scared, nervous, shy, or excited, he tends to have a stutter. for him, its hard to find many words in this state.
- you may think luigi is just a plumber, but he also has many different hobbies! these include mechanics, arts, sports (especially tennis!), photography, gardening, and even music!
- luigis favorite colors are green and "porpol" (his pronounciation, not mine).
- luigi is bisexual. he has a strong romantic relationship with princess daisy, but fails to admit it to anyone other than his loved ones in fear of judgement. he also has had interest in prince peasley, but unfortunately wasnt able to talk to him about it before they departed.
- luigi hates loud noises, which led to a childhood fear of lightning and explosions. thankfully, his fear of that significantly lessened thanks to his thunderhand.
- luigi posts polterpup content EVERYWHERE on social media. he may be a cat person, but polterpup is a STRONG exception. have i mentioned he loves his pet ghost dog with all of his heart?
- luigi is generally a pretty emotional guy. barely slamming his hand on the wall? crying. getting a game over in a video game? crying. watching a sad moment in a babies show? crying. just arrived at the doctors office for a checkup? crying. these were mostly exaggerations, but the fact that luigi is emotionally in touch when needbe still stands. this, of course, is a positive thing.
- pancakes is luigis favorite comfort food. he simply stims with joy just ready for a bite! he especially loves it with syrup and blueberries! mmmm... now im hungry!
- when luigi succeeds in battle, he breaks into the sickest dance moves. dont ask me why.
- luigi has a strong feeling of fear, almost anytime he feels it. its either "oh, this is scary :(" or "OH MY GOODNESS I AM PISSING MY PANTS IN TERROR I NEED TO DO SOMETHING OR ESCAPE OR ELSE IM GONNA PASS OUT!!!". absolutely NO inbetweens.
-luigis body has a hard time adjusting to temperature or sudden gait changes. goes out in 50° fehrinheit for a millisecond while wearing a baggy jacket, and hes shivering like a wet dog. he loses the cat powerup after using it for not even 5 minutes, and hes tumbling around as if he were incredibly drunk.
- speaking of drunk, luigi almost never drinks alcohol. he always drinks non-alcoholic alternatives unless on VERY special occasions such as his own wedding or a "our lives are saved again thanks to the bros" party.
- luigi prefers to not be the leader in groups. it makes him very anxious anytime he has to take that role, especially if its a larger group of unfamiliar people.
- luigi is so so so ambiverted. he doesnt want to socialize with new people as he prefers sameness and familiarity. but, when hes with people he knows such as mario and friends, he talks more than youd see in an eminem song. craziest part, hes actually great at making new friends.
- luigi enjoys storytelling. like mentioned in the last headcanon, he enjoys telling people he knows about his day or any sort of scenario that popped up in his head.
- luigi has a high iq, as he can use his logic quite well in tight situations. mario and luigi brothership shows that far enough.
- luigis thunderhand can be helpful, but sometimes it can cause more harm than good. hes normally invincible to his own attack and just lightning in general, but when hes under strong enough emotion, it can lead to his invincibility shield dissipating and him getting hurt.
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thats all i have for now! someday soon i may work on headcanon posts for other mario characters and perhaps characters from different fandoms! lemme know if you wanna see more!
#headcanon#headcanon post#mario & luigi#luigi#luigi mario#super mario brothers#super mario#mario bros#writing#writers on tumblr
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Disabilities — Scripting them in or out your DR
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This is something that has been on my mind a lot and I really want to talk about it.
Scripting in and/or out physical, mental and emotional disabilities. This blog is semi-serious and (obviously) I will be talking about mental illnesses. Along with physical injuries (not graphically), you have been forewarned.
Alright, hi! I’m Abyss! I am diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I am suspected of ADHD (by teachers, phycologists and myself). I also have lumbar scoliosis, which is (thankfully) mild. I struggle with all of these on a daily basis (pain, worry, fatigue, you name it.)
Now, personally, I don’t really have an issue with people scripting in or out mental or physical ailments. It’s fine, in my opinion — you just need to know what you’re getting into. Be educated, because I know a lot of people say “oh I have ADHD” or “I have autism!” And they don’t. They just want to be “quirky” and “different”. and then when they experience life with those differences, they’re like “erm! yeah no i DONT have that.”
Now, people script our mental illnesses and physical illnesses all the time. And that’s fine! It isn’t my businessX and if it makes your life better, more power to you!
I am someone who isn’t scripting out my differences. They have become part of me — they always have been — and I accept and love myself for who I am. Even though, yes, it is harder for me to take my dogs on walks, or speak up for myself, it is something that (for better or for worse) i have gotten used to. It isn’t bad to want to keep your differences. It isn’t ‘good’ to want to have differences.
I have mine (partially) because I want to learn to live with them better and more healthily. Some people still have them in their drs because they love themselves the way they are!
But, what I am trying to say is, don’t script in physical or mental differences if you just want to be “quirky.” You can script a diagnosis with something you think you have! I know I am.
But don’t take advantage of disabilities and use them to get places (like a handicapped parking spot, or a better spot in an event line).
Script a disability because you want to learn, to become better, to understand people. And don’t be scared to ask! If you have questions, ask them.
I love you all
From the darkness,
Abyss
#abyss .speaks#reality shifting#shifting#desired reality#reality shift#shifting community#shiftblr#black shifters#shifting motivation#shifting realities#shifting reality#quantum shifting#reality shifting positivity#shiftinconsciousness#desired reality shifting#shifting advice#shifting antis dni#shifting blog#shifting diary#shifting journey#shifting consciousness#shifting script#shifting stories#shifting tips
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AITA for being upset that my boyfriend of 3 years doesn't remember our anniversary even though i know he has adhd? ☕️☕️
I (26 W) have been dating my partner (32 M) for over 3 years now. He is officially diagnosed with ADHD and I am currently waiting for my own diagnosis for ADHD. He got diagnosed shortly before we got together and he has opened to me about how insecure he is over his disabilities causing a rift between us since all his previous relationships end with his partners leaving after they "get tired of dealing with his issues" because he also has autism and has been rude before in regards to my weight despite knowing that i am recovered from an eating disorder and this is the context in which his insecurities were disclosed to me. I also don't mean rude like accidentally, he literally put his hands on my stomach and said "what is this" after we had already had several Big Fights in regards to his previously rude behavior. For further context, I told him on our second date that I have a strict boundary around food and my weight and would appreciate it if he kept comments about my body weight or how much i eat to himself because it's triggering for me.
I try to be mindful of his limitations but recently, he asked me if he had forgotten our anniversary. This wouldn't bother me as much if it wasn't our third anniversary coming up in a couple of weeks and if I hadn't repeatedly told me over our time together the exact date of our anniversary. Now, I don't expect him to remember dates off the top of his head. I struggle with that information myself but what I DO hold against him is the fact that he KNOWS he forgets things and doesnt make ANY effort to have a failsafe against that. I put everything in my phone and he WORKS in tech so he knows how easy it is to set a repeat event with reminders nowadays so I don't understand why he can't just fucking figure out how to remember our anniversary without constantly making me be the one to remind him. I have told him exactly this and asked him why he didn't write it down over the last 3 years if he knows he's bad with dates. he said "that's a good point" and that was that. Now, he keeps trying to manipulate the information out of me by asking me when I'm like half asleep because he "thought i might slip up and just tell him."
Am I in the wrong for being mad over this? it feels like he doesn't care enough to do the bare minimum of being in a relationship with another person. I've dated others before with ADHD and it's never been a fucking issue before for them to remember our anniversary. I myself put in the effort when I care about someone to do the bare minimum and write down information I want to remember about someone. I just don't understand why I feel so guilty over getting mad about this when I feel like I have every right to be upset because it's not like I haven't been forthcoming before, it's not like i haven't repeatedly told him over the years and he puts in birthdays to his calendar so like why doesn't he care enough to put our anniversary into it? He wants to marry me but I dont want to spend the rest of my life reminding him to care enough about me to remember things like my birthday, our anniversary or my eating disorder.
But I also know that expecting people with ADHD to remember things is kind of an ableist move and I don't want to start an argument where I'm being a dick to his disabilities. So WIBTA if I decided to make this into a big deal because it is for me knowing my partner has ADHD and cannot help being so forgetful all the time?
What are these acronyms?
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1st of february is my 28th birthday, i am currently fighting with myself whether to take the week after it off work and make an appointment at our doctors to ask for advice on getting an ADHD and/or autism diagnosis .. i am very much scared of it but keep seeing people (mostly with adhd) talk about how getting treatment for it makes a huge difference so of course im gonna do a social media™ poll for it
(keep in mind that i am german and live in germany .. so the process is probably somewhat different .. though i dont know honestly, been too scared to look into it more lmao)
*in your opinion (bonus points if you are also one like me but actually did soemthing about it already ..)
(EDIT: for clarification, i meant treatment mostly for ADHD, i dont think there is and i dont want anything 'against' autism, thats just a part of me, the question is more is it important to mention or get official diagnose for it as well or should i not mention it/its not important)
#ganondoodles talks#edit: bc i dont know if theres adhd meds that could negatively interact with typical autism things for example
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princess and the frog is good!!!!!! or just older animated movies in general? fox and the hound, the aristocats, the land before time...... i used to love dinosaurs.......
dad. i can no longer sleep peacefully. do we have a heating pad. a. and we might have to go to the store.
woe. your child is stuck as a human now. erm.
//@the-flys-buzz (HE SUFFERS WITH ME.)
“.,,?? A. Are you alright.?? i have heating pad I can run and get it if you’d like. Though, you’d have to stay with Jake.”
#<- RANDOM ASS RSNT BUT SOO MANY PPL THINK AUTOSM IS SO FUN#ITS NOT.#i genuinely can have a meltdown if someone likes a character more thsn me 💔💔 its REALLYYY bad#thats wht I was warry of making an ask blog bc.#i hate how upset i get blehh#<- NONONO I GET IT#O GET IT SOSOSOSOSOSO MUCH#im the same with. most of my fixations bleeehh.#like with pokemon the most i think#cause ive liked it for ALMOST ALL OF MY LIFE#and i still know barely anything about the lore or any battle strategies and stuff#and i get embarrassed casue i dont know this shit!!!!!! AND I ALSO GET JEALOUS OF PEOPLE WJO DO!!!!!!#“oh but william why dont you yoy just read up on the lore?????” MY ATTENTION SPAN IS ASS TOO#aaauhrrrggrgr#but yeah#n. not fun#brain fog + i get jealous when people know more than i do + i cant. FUCKING TALK TO ANYONE EVER + if anything changes out of nowhere its ti#i was originally like “oh my autism symptoms arent that bad:)”#then AAAUAHHG#no its bad my executive dysfunction is SO bad#another one cN be fixations#yes non neurodivergent people can like stuff but usually? not to the extent ot autistic people#<- dude if anyone SAW me when i used to love dinosaurs it was. i was a different breed#i dont think its normal behavior for a what. 7 year old to rush to the library to get DINOSAUR FACT BOOKS AND COMMIT SAID FACTS TO MEMORY?#i still want an official diagnosis of course but. im almost definitely not faking like. ALL OF THAT STUFF ISNT NEUROTYPICAL RIGHT?#sorry chat just started yapping about. autism in the tags SO sorry#<- me with ezra#cog is my own oc but they r me.#they literally started as an oc x canon…#i called them business hours.. bc exra is s
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🍀 。my identity & who am!!
hi !! is me ruru am remake my previous pinned slash introduction post (again..) 😓
names which use is loooots really!! go by; ruru, toffuu, cami, bibi, zu, scribble or snappy! dont mind which be used
intersex, nonbinary, xenogender, cistrans, transxenofem, transgirl, pansexual lesbian, marsbian, aromantic and asexual spectrum and more
age dysphoric adult, permatween, tweenfluid, transspecies, nonhuman, alterhuman, otherkin, otherhearted, therian
shi/hir kid/kidself kyu/kyuself pie/pieself or use my name(s) or it/itself if struggle use abstract pronouns
mixed origin, polyfragmented fictive heavy system with fluid memory and medium level amnesia
🍀 。disabilities and disorders
complex high support needs autism original diagnosis of severe/profound autism & intelectual disability, this means im not independent significantly struggle with communicating expressing and understanding
moderate C-ADHD, regression of skills, mild visual impairment, learning disabilities, dyspraxia, EDS, CFS/ME, schizophrenic and other mental illnesses
semiverbal, stutter, speech delay and impairment, was considered nonverbal for a few years as a child
🍀 。boundaries stances
no dni anyone okay to follow and interact but will block if uncomfortable or bigoted in any way
dont involve in discourse for non traumagenic plurality, shipping, transid and so on i dont care if no harm being done to any living being that is fine
leftist and support views from socialism communism and anarchism but wont talk politics this way and significantly struggle with them because of low iq
feminist, support all queer ways of identification, support all disabled and disordered folk, support those who dont identify as human at all, support those with paraphilias or paraphilic disorders who DO NOT CONDONE abuse OR harrasment in ANY WAY!
🍀 🍀 can find extra information below if want read!
🍀 。about my blog
i post about all sort! about my day, about my disabilities, raising awareness, about my interests and all that :D
🍀 。im a collector!
i collect alllll sorts of things! love collecting! books which primarily younger kid books, comics and manga, plushies, toys, notebooks, candy wrappers uhhhh dont remember
🍀 。special interests
my special interest is my little pony, cartoons, sesame street and psychology in a way, i need my little pony and sesame street to function everyday but with psychology spinterest it mostly impairs me thats all
🍀 。hyperfixations
had maaaany hyperfixations in the past which generally been stuff i watch? stuff like breaking bad, amazing world of gumball, shameless, the muppets, future man (YAYAYYAYA!!!), hannibal, heartstopper, heartbreak high but also snails, certain songs, fnaf, cookie run kingdom and more :D
🍀 。hobbies
it's hard pin point hobby for me because of my autism i think, but i like watching asian dramas of action and crime genre and thriller and reading comics, manga and BL stories
🍀 。links
dont use amazon lots for stuff, mostly use vinted for stuff which like or other places, but have two wishlists that have on there one for stuff which like and other more disability related so will share those ┐(´ー`)┌
— things which like amazon list
— disability related list
🍀 。tags
#rurusharing : my general tag
#ruruspinterest : when talking about special interest
#ruruhyperfix : when talking about hyperfixations
#rururant : negative tone post may be vent
#rurureply : replying to ask
#🍀 。 ruru introducing#actually autistic#level 3 autism#high support needs#severe autism#chronosian#transage#alterhuman community#transspecies#nonhuman#physical therian#mixed origin system#actually plural#plural community#mspec lesbian#cistrans#xenogender#actually intersex#queer community
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Would you happen to be able to compile a list of all the evidence/mentioned traits you know of that point towards Robespierre having autism, possibly with some sources of said evidence? You have my deepest gratitude if you do happen to be so kind as to take the time to answer this ask.
Hello! I'm sorry for taking a while to answer this- it of course was the kind of ask that requires some time to write! I'm gonna break it up into two posts, I hope that's okay. I'll just @ you when I do the next part.
I feel like I should start with saying that I'm not an expert in history (feel like I have loads to learn tbh). But I am an expert in autism, as I'm autistic, and know the topic thoroughly from cultural/social/medical perspectives- several of my educational comics are used in training programs by doctors and diagnoticians. So, you can trust everything I say about autism in this post.
You probably can't trust everything I say about Robespierre though lol. Compared to some actual historians I've talked to here, I haven't developed the skills of being able to discern when the info I get in books can be fully trusted, and the more I study Frev the more evident it is that just because I've read smth in a book, doesn't mean it can be trusted as fact haha. I've read 3 different posts from different historians in the last year that've debunked several 'facts' presented to me in published books loool
But anyway! I still personally think Robespierre was autistic, and I'll lay out why in the 2nd post.
I think it would take me more free time than I have to list *all* the evidence I've come across, so it seems best to break down how you diagnose autism in modern day, and then put that in context to some examples.
So this first part is just explaining *one way* in which medical professionals break down autism and the traits. Then in the next post I'll explain how I've applied those to Robespierre specifically.
How we think about and diagnose autism from modern day pov
I wanna start by breaking down how diagnoticians think about Autism specifically.
Autism doesn't encompass a specific set of traits that every single person must have in order to be diagnosed, because autistic traits vary so much from person to person.
Instead, you break down a diagnosis into different areas of life in which someone might be struggling. How this is broken down can vary a little between tests, but it's generally split into these areas:
Social
Social reciprocity (how sociable you are with others)
Non verbal comminication
Verbal communication
Maintaining relationships
Restrictive and Repetitive behaviour
Repetitive speech or movements (basically stimming)
Routines and change
Highly fixed/intense interests
Hyper or hypo reaction to sensory input
And then basically, if enough of these areas are having a significant impact on your life, you're dx'd as Autistic.
You can see when broken down in this way, that:
You can be doing fine in some of these areas, but still be dx'd if there's a lot of other areas listed you're struggling in.
A NT person will likely have some sort of trouble in one or two of the listed areas (because we all have strengths and weaknesses). That doesn't mean they're autistic.
An autism dx is concluded from two things- if you struggle in more of these areas than less. And if those struggles are significantly impacting your life.
Just to note, I'm only talking from a diagnosis pov here, which is wrapped up in cultural contexts and the reasons we decided to give this way of being a label. Theres lots of traits we can also break down that aren't based around what you find difficult.
You could be autistic and go your whole life not knowing or needing a diagnosis, if say, you lived a lifestyle where you could avoid people and situations that are making you suffer. Your autism might make you excel in life, depending on your life.
But just esp in modern day, many of us dont have that luxury.
I'm using this type of dx in the context of Robespierre because I believe he did have difficulties that impacted his life and career, and it's significant to me to compare his behaviour and health to other politicians working in the same stressful circumstances.
But yeah I'll write this in a second post. Thanks for your patience!! 🙏
#frev#french revolution#robespierre#maximilien robespierre#autism#autistic#neurodiversity#actually autistic
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ghdsfkjghdsf is that a common thing?
I don't really get how he'd be misdiagnosed anyway; it would need brain scans, especially since it's so rare at his age, and if anything it would have been misdiagnosed as other conditions for a while. Only going off cry-stars here- I have no expertise myself- but she's said that can happen and there was a recent case in Japan where a young guy's dementia was mistaken for depression for ages.
If we doubt Komaeda's FTD it can only be via doubting his honesty imo (but I still think he's telling the truth). I also love seeing analyses of him through the lenses of other disorders as comorbid instead of alternative diagnoses- especially autism, but I've seen interesting takes wrt OCD and BPD too- but canonically I feel like bvFTD, extreme post-traumatic stress and political radicalisation adequately explain his issues.
TO BE FAIR it probably isnt As common as i think it is, i just saw one reddit post thst explicitly claimed the FTD was a misdiagnosis and that it totally makes way more sense for komaeda to have autism and bpd, and a surprisung number of people... agreed? for some reason??
which i need to state for the record a) i am autistic myself and b) have absolutely zero problems with headcanons, even if they arent ones i ascribe to personally
what i DO have a problem with is people erasing canon neurodivergencies and/or erasing traits CENTRAL to a character in order to square-peg-round-hole the headcanon THEY have as the most correct one
"nagito has ftd and was autistic before that?" cool! neat! seeing how those two disorders being comorbid with each other could be really interesting!
"nagito does NOT have ftd, the devs were wrong, they actually wrote an autistic character and didnt realize it" stop talking.
this is very like, misanthropic i guess but after SO MUCH SHIT ive seen it just speaks to an unwillingness to empathize with or relate to anyone that isnt exactly like you. and you cant just headcanon real people around you with Misdiagnosed Autistic (most.... times....) so this pops up in fiction
like. i am autistic! i also have two (2) personality disorders, and neither is bpd. this has led to a non negligible amount of autistic people completely stereotyping my other disorders as evil in order to prop themselves up ("i thought i was a narcissist/sociopath, which wouldve been awful, but really i was just autistic! phew!!" with implicit, sometimes EXPLICIT value judgements being made)
i have had a friend i had in real life, to my face, say he didn't believe i had either personality disorder and really i was secretly just autistic
...if we had been better friends, maybe he would've known me well enough to know that that's almost... comically untrue. lol
so in my opinion there do exist a certain minority of autistic people who see autism as the only neurodivergency that Matters, or at least the one that matters the most. and the only way they can feel any sympathy for anyone else is if they are also autistic
and i know this is a minority! and i just see it a lot because i am an autist in fandom and a lot of other autistic people are also in fandom! AND that this is a mindset prone to ANY minority- most people think their Problem is the Worst Problem, it just... happens. however i am just as irrational and prone to biases as anyone else and ive chosen this as my completely irrelevant hill to die on
that one reddit post made me so goddamn mad bc of All This PLUS its double insulting when someone says "i have a special interest in psychology!" as a way to say theyre extremely knowledgable, and doing genuine analysis with the lens of "i am looking at the text and trying to make an objective diagnosis" and then STILL DO THIS!!! because they have this veneer of "im just a guy asking questions" before diving right into a weirdly consspiratory subset of "everyones an idiot about mental health except for ME"
...which tbf i dont think that about myself. i am very good at writing a wide variety of mental illness due to a combination of research and life experience BUT i could really only tell you like. actual non-surface level FACTS about aspd and to a lesser extent, npd. because thats what i chose to focus on. there are far and away lots more people that know more about me about other things, and im fine wit that
i am however also aware of this extremely hyperspecific social phenominon. and thus it is my burden to bear. my mountainous molehill.
also r/danganronpa just fucking sucks like in general. every time i see a kokichi opinion there i get a little closer to pulling the trigger. i think the real moral here is reddit is garbage and should not be used for anything other than product reviews
(also fwiw i agree w ur personal take at the end, with a lil bit of ocd tendencies that like, started off manageable and nowhere near diagnostic level badness, since things he might do to manage his cycle and even the constant thinking about it are very much reminiscent of obsessions and compulsions. but ftd in of itself can cause ocd symptoms so after that it got... worse. thats my personal take on it ^^)
#i do have like other experiences with this very specific phenominon#in the last fandom i was in someone tried Debating Me and saying my headcanon (about aspd) is dumb and amateur#and i dont know what im talking about#and the character is CLEARLY autistic#(because he was autistic and related to him)#he tried to do this three times on three seperate accounts#and i KNOWWW its a vocal minority but also i hate them#i dont think ALL autistic people are like this. or all autistic people who hc their faves as autistic#but the ones that ARE like this make me lose my fucking mind and then i go on my personal old man yells at cloud rant#also teehee we have the same name#ur komaeda lyre and im kamukura lyre#or komaeda lyre and kokichi lyre?#eegh whichevers funniest#uso janai ka?
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