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i think i need to get unhealthily attached to whatever fictional characters embody my repressed traumas until i inevitably form a new introject to also bother me about not bottling up emotions
when. when ur a new introject and dont know how to process being Not Constantly In Danger Or Stress like. ๐งโโ๏ธ what do
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when. when ur a new introject and dont know how to process being Not Constantly In Danger Or Stress like. ๐งโโ๏ธ what do
#like its just. sitting here doing my little habits and stuff. and having ppl just mentally nudge me#and go 'its ok dude ur safe here u dont need to Do That anymore'#like. huh. i don't know who i am anymore without that hanging over my head but uh. thanks
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unfortunately my thing with getting my blood sucked is NOT just about the eroticism. i also am very invested in helping. iโm a helpful guy
#me tho#im aroace & both sex and romance repulsed & kiiind of hate having my neck touched ever#but if there were a way around those issues. yeah im chill with having someone drink my blood#me getting into a messy qpr with a long term roommate who needs to suck my blood every couple of days when#just realised as typing these tags. this sentiment is also why it was so disappointing to know my tranny blood can't be donated ๐๐๐#I've got evil scary TESTOSTERONE in my blood oh no!!! too bad im a universal donor#side note do vampires ever get like. blood type incompatibility issues. like man im allergic to A type blood sorry#just imagining vampires discussing blood types like wines like. yeah this one is real full and hearty it's an AB+#sorry i can't do O type blood. yeah no rh factor doesn't matter it's just the whole type. yeah even if you're negative. sorry
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*you decide what counts as a sys journal here idk what the official definition is use your best judgement
#yea#we noticed if we didn't Write Down our thoughts we never remembered anything about ourselves#so we started writing stuff#and eventually we got a dedicated notebook for it that we take everywhere#we also use simplyplural for this purpose but sometimes its just nicer to use a pen for once#we used to have colour coded pens for everyone#but now there's so many of us we can't physically carry that many pens so we just write names in the margins
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cruel prince really has me thinking a ton now abt which fantasy/scifi species has the ability to birth twins (especially identical ones). like apparently the Fae in that realm just do not have a concept of bearing twins (let alone triplets or more) so when they meet a pair of identical twin humans in the book they have no idea what to do abt it
#like i saw two sheikah with clearly matching names and i was like. cool the sheikah can twin! confirmation that hylians can infact have twin#and there's the Twin Stable where everyone there is a twin#so yes hylians at least can twin#but what about zora and rito? or furthermore gorons????#zora and rito hatch from clutches of eggs (bc of that one majoras quest + rito origin story in wind waker)#and while it's reeeeeally fucking hard to reconcile the conflicting canons of other games i think its safe to say that much is the same#maybe not specifically the rito origin story but at least like. you know. birds lay eggs man idk#but then like. im pretty sure the gorons are born like crystal gems just busted out of the fucking ground#and goron family structures are a mystery bc they're all one gender and Everyone calls each other Brother so idk who's actually related#.... huh. gorons and crystal gems are pretty much opposites of the same thing??? ๐ญ#stone-based lifeforms that are all one gender and are born from the ground#except gorons are dudes and seem to have pretty primitive tech in general along with being loud and rude#and the gems are all women who have spaceships and their entire society is built on only ever following orders and not seeming out of line#i want to see a weird merged creature between the gems and the gorons. i want to see what that would Look Like
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found a spot in breath of the wild where there's no water collision just consistently in that one spot
#i was like Oh did i get a no water collision glitch? can i fuck around on the floor of a lake??#no its Just That One Spot. if i leave it i pop back up to the surface of the water
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man. growing up in a cramped shitty house and already struggling enough myself as a kid. it just makes me Sad to know that my nieces have to live in an even smaller, even shittier apartment for their formative years. no kid should have to share a room that small.
#no PERSON should have to share a room that small that room would be better as an office#but there's literally nowhere else to live in that entire city so like. what other options do they all have#not like a single mother who doesn't get her child support payments could afford a full house
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It fucks with me that dog intelligence is tested with obedience tests, so there's a significant bias towards compliant dog breeds. Dogs that are intelligent enough to understand what is being asked of them, but are too headstrong and/or independent to go through with it, get lumped up with the dogs that might want to do what people ask them to do, but are too stupid to understand the assignment.
And it fucks with me that chihuahuas are actually quite intelligent. They're not stressed and angry because they're too stupid to understand what's going on. They understand exactly what's going on, and that's why they're so angry and stressed.
#oh.#this could explain a lot abt my mental state and how i react to the world around me.#(haven't i Literally told ppl 'i have to get angry otherwise i won't ever get help' too... smh not beating the chihuahua allegations.... ๐)
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trans men existing around trans women are not a threat to those trans women. trans men occupying space made for trans men and/or accepting of trans men are not taking space away from trans women. the concept of transmanhood is not a threat to trans women. coining a term for the specific type of transphobia trans men face is not diminishing transmisogyny. trans men expressing how manhood makes them feel euphoric is not being done to make trans women feel dysphoric.
we good? okay. stop with the rad fem shit. it's actually good & healthy & normal for trans men and women to share the same spaces &trade experiences & engage in discussion about their differences. we don't have to separate everything in life by gender. the outside world is not school. you literally don't have to separate people by gender for the rest of your life. let's move on.
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tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website
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honestly until like. living to See an assassination happen in my time where i can see all the fuckery that goes along with it. i can honestly kind of understand why so many assassinations have conspiracy theories around them
#not going to engage with them bc that can be. a slippery slope to all sorts of bigotry#but like. seeing the uhc guy literally just Get Away With It and then such a clear and obvious redirecting of the blame to a random guy#like. there's no doubt about it the current story is being mostly fabricated#to someone with such a clearly Non White American Name too like#i bet they wouldn't try to randomly pin the shooting on someone with a name like steve baker or something like that#they'd pick someone who's just marginalised enough (or marginalised looking enough) they'd get dogpiled by bigots#all the details are so weird#like. i kinda get it now
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left my phone open to tumblr while getting distracted doing something else and the whole screen flashed white for a second before suddenly centering on this ad
what are you trying to tell me
#no image id bc i just woke up and my vision is sofuckigb blurry#and i have a migraine so brain think slow
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not dead yet but ugh. eugh.
hate hate hate when im trying a new medication and im told i Have to take it before bed like. if im allergic to this thing nobody will know until the morning
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hate hate hate when im trying a new medication and im told i Have to take it before bed like. if im allergic to this thing nobody will know until the morning
#do not like that. do not like at all.#i had Part of this medication already and i am fine#but it was only like. a tiny sip of this horrible gritty liquid I HATE GRITTY THINGS THIS MAKES THIS EXPERIENCE SO MUCH WORSE#gritty textures activate my Autism Rageโข#anyway. the only solution to this i can think of to alleviate this anxiety#is to stay awake until very early morning and then take it right before the body's mom's alarm goes off#so uh. it's 4am now; guess its time#i Should be fine honestly. i think i could Tell by now if i was having a bad reaction? it's been about 45 mins since my first sip at least
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from now on every time i see a girl character freak out at the sight of blood like "im sorry this is my first time seeing blood like this" then she's trans or intersex. i have decided this and it is fact now. she's trans or intersex
#currently watching a video on older ds games#and this girl (who i think is supposed to be in college? definitely way past puberty thats for sure)#sees. not even the blood itself but was using a device to find traces of blood after it got washed away#and that was enough to make her sick#which is fair having an involuntary reaction to blood like that is pretty normal even for women#like. being a woman doesn't automatically make you chill with blood#but it was the fact that she said it was her First Time seeing that much blood like that. so like. yeah
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