#<- dude if anyone SAW me when i used to love dinosaurs it was. i was a different breed

[the-flys-buzz]

princess and the frog is good!!!!!! or just older animated movies in general? fox and the hound, the aristocats, the land before time...... i used to love dinosaurs.......

dad. i can no longer sleep peacefully. do we have a heating pad. a. and we might have to go to the store.

woe. your child is stuck as a human now. erm.

//@the-flys-buzz (HE SUFFERS WITH ME.)

“.,,?? A. Are you alright.?? i have heating pad I can run and get it if you’d like. Though, you’d have to stay with Jake.”

[vespertin-y]

HELLO VES .... top five ouma moments . oumoments . if u will

— vee :3

HELLO VEE. HOW COULD YOU ASK ME THIS. I READ THIS AND WAS SIMULTANEOUSLY OVERWHELMED WITH WAY TOO MANY MOMENTS TO COUNT AND FORGOT EVERY SINGLE THING HE'S EVER SAID OR DONE.

to make things easier on me i will will say this is not ranked and is just a list of ones that stand out equally to me

"there's nothing more depressing than an unnoticed prank." hhhholy shit dude. there is NO way he realizes how much this reveals about him. it's outstripping him straight-up stabbing himself for attention and asking if he wasn't boring before he dies just bc i remember having to take a pause to process it when i read him say it the first time. his neglected child rizz...

"come to think of it, i once saw this anime that was also about a death game...the mastermind sacrificed a family member as the first victim to get the killing started." there's a lot of quotes that hint at kokichi remembering more than he should (i've been doing my best to collect them all here), but this one REALLY stands out. it's fascinating to me to think that he doesn't just know they're being broadcast, he knows they're in danganronpa. it makes me wonder if there's such a thing as "pregame" kokichi at all...

“think back to all of monokuma’s actions so far. whenever we tried to work together, monokuma would retaliate with a plan to make us suffer. it happened when kaede wanted us to cooperate, and again with these motive videos, right? which means, the more we try to cooperate, the more he’ll try to make us suffer.” we love when 'liar' characters are shockingly honest <3 but seriously, i've always been SO delighted by the idea of monokuma's teacher's pet, a character who sidles up to the killing game for their own safety, and kokichi gives me all i wanted from that and more.

"he can lie about a lot of things...but he can't hide the warmth of his hand." i couldn't do this without mentioning at least SOME of the hand symbolism so i chose the sweetest one. i had a friend say he always interpreted this line as kokichi having very sweaty hands which originally i thought was extremely silly but. doesn't it match the theme? that once shuuichi learns to accept kokichi, to wait for him to reach out by himself...he turns out to be just a normal boy who's nervous about this like anyone else?

naming his very evil super secret organization after a cartoon about cool orphans piloting robot dinosaurs

[chidoroki]

TPN - “Dreams Come True”

What better way to cheer up the TPN fandom after the second season’s final episode than with the special exhibition chapter finally being fully translated. I caught glimpses of a few pages here and there over the past couple months but seeing all the children live happily together in the human world in their own little village that they made close to Emma and Alex warms my heart. Of course I would’ve loved if we got to see more of the GP Resistance (because the anime denied us of them) but following the GF kids around the world as they experience their dreams is fair enough. We started the series alongside them so might as well finish strong with them too. I really loved seeing everyone grow up but no matter how old they get or how much time passes, I’ll probably never get used to seeing Emma without her iconic “63194.” It’s a bittersweet feeling for me, but her smiles bring me so much joy and I’m beyond happy that she accepted everyone into her life as they accepted her without her memories.

I haven’t a clue on how much time passed since everyone found Emma in ch181 to now, but seeing her call out everyone’s names is a little detail that I love so much considering she had no idea who anyone was at first. Trying to remember 60+ names doesn’t seem like an easy task to me. No doubt I was just as shocked as our girl upon learning these mere children bought a goddamn plane! We learn in a couple pages that it’s because of Norman’s company that they can afford it, but still, he’s like 15 or 16 now? He’s still a child! And I’m impressed! Not only at him, but that Oliver and Violet became pilots as well! It’s especially cute when you remember that Lucas gave Oliver a little toy plane during their time at Goldy Pond.

Speaking of GP, is it just me or does Emma’s current outfit resemble her GP one just a little bit? Sure we have no idea what color scheme this one has but come on, the short jacket, the dark shirt and jeans.. just imagine it! Jemima, Yvette, Alicia and Mark remade Gillian’s original GP outfit sometime before the Grace Field Raid arc (ch137 extra page) so I don’t doubt they could’ve done the same for Emma. Of course that’s just me being completely hopeful and missing the Goldy Pond arc to death but yeah! I’m also so happy to see Chris up and moving again! Seeing him wake up briefly in ch181 was nice but this is so much better. I imagine he and Emma have a lot to catch up on in terms of stories, with him being unconscious since ch105 and Emma not remembering anything.

But here we go, the original 15 escapees plus Norman, Phil, Sherry, I believe I saw Carol somewhere and a couple other random kiddos ready to see the entire world. They get to accomplish so much.. and in a single day too I believe? At least that’s what Phil and Alicia say a bit later about everyone’s wishes, but aahh what a lucky bunch. Hell, I’ll say we’re lucky readers too to be able to see such a great story. Can’t thank Shirai and Demizu enough y’all. I wish we got to see more of Alex though. He’s such a kind soul but I’m sure he’ll be just fine staying behind with everyone else.

This entire page where we learn about Norman as a CEO is gold. I still can’t believe this child successfully built up an entire multipurpose company not only to help their search for Emma but also because he didn’t want to live off the Ratri clan. I wish I knew about this last week when writing out Norman’s birthday post because hell yeah this deserves some praise! AND he managed to graduate school as well during all that! Well, by skipping grades which totally makes sense. I mean, if he managed to pass all the Grace Field and Lambda tests effortlessly I’m sure normal human world school was a piece of cake for him. Holy shit dude, keep on impressing me why don’t ya. Not only him but Nigel and Sonya too! I’m not surprised that Vincent helped out but I’m glad those two got a tiny moment to shine as well! Ray is another obvious choice when it comes to helping Norman, as they’re best friends and he’s always been good with machines.. but boy, I can’t take you seriously when you’re just sitting there unamused and eating chips! Hahah I love him so much! And the fact he replies to Norman’s idea with just a simple “kay” is an eternal mood.

Okay boys aside, can we talk about our fabulous girls now? Because oh my god, they’re so darn beautiful! They’re more fashionable than I’ll ever be and it’s so cute how they drag Emma along to take advantage of the 3-for-1 deal. But our girl pulls off that sporty look so well! (r.i.p. goldy pond outfit ver2.0). I’m not at all surprised that Nat wanted to go see the opera. That's perfect for him and I’d like to think the anime did something similar with that one shot we see of him in the human world. We don’t see him in a theater like this but to me it looks like he’s on the streets of Broadway? At least that’s the vibe I get from it. I’m sure there was something music related on one of those signs.

I can’t get over how adorable all the children look and how happy they are fulfilling their wishes, even if some of them aren’t as extravagant as others. Like eating a fluffy pancake and a ton of ice cream? We can do that whenever we want. But for these kids, it means everything and they absolutely deserve to experience such simple joys like that after all the harsh nonsense they’ve been through. I also love how Ray continues to be such a great older brother by still looking out for them too. The fact he remains completely unfazed by the haunted house is perfect. This boy has been haunted by his own nightmares and demons his entire life, there’s no way a couple of lousy jump scares are gonna spook him. Though I do find it funny that Alicia and Rossi still manage to get scared while Yvette is having the time of her life. I can’t help but laugh at Thoma’s “Shirai face” as well.

I find it interesting that out of all the different kinds of exhibits they could’ve shown us while Rossi visits a museum, they give us dinosaurs.. like that seems so silly to me. Y’all have seen several demons in your young lives already and yet dinosaurs manage to amaze you too? God these kids are precious. And then our boy Phil finally gets to see and ride a train! Just look how happy he is! The poor kid can’t even sit still he’s so darn excited and I can’t help but smile with him! Thankfully the anime showed us this too.

We eventually get to Ray’s wish and guys.. oh my fucking god. Tell me that this is not the absolute best and prettiest smile we get to see from him!! It honestly leaves me speechless okay? Ray never imagined he would ever get to see the outside world, let alone live past the age of 12, and yet here he is, seeing such a beautiful sight such as this, right in front of him instead of from inside a book. You can’t believe how happy and proud of him I am right now. Did you see how ecstatic I was when the anime kept Isabella alive? Multiply that feeling by ten and there ya go. That’s my level of happiness upon seeing my favorite boy smile like THAT! AAHHH!! That panel is gonna live rent free in my head until the end of time. I can’t get over how damn perfect it is. His smile is so pure and how he looks like he’s in complete awe is beautiful. He’s about to burst into tears and I swear I might do the same because I’m making myself emotional over this fantastic boy. Someone hold me.

No seriously, hold me because we’re about to get into some angst as we move onto to Emma’s wish. We all know that ever since 2039 her one dream was to ride a giraffe once they got outside, so here we are, about ten years later and the animals in question are within reach. Our girl should be totally excited, right? Ha, not quite.

That wish was something the old Emma wanted, but since demon god had to be such a bastard, this Emma doesn’t know what to think, let alone what to even feel. She hasn’t experienced the same hardships as her family. She hasn’t gone through hell and back while holding onto that one wish that would make all the suffering worth it. The amount of joy everyone else felt upon living out their dreams, she wonders if she would be able to feel it too.

They brought her here to make her happy, but is this truly want she wants as well? This is old Emma’s wish after all. What about her and what she wants? Could this wish make her just as happy as her old self? She knows her family is only trying to help, but seeing her doubt herself does a number on my heart. Even without her memories, she’s still the same Emma deep down, as she doesn’t want to disappoint her family. She spends so much time worrying about living up to her family’s expectations, to try and be that Emma they all love so dearly.

Little does she know that she acts the exact same as usual, almost as if nothing has changed when she finally expresses how much she wants to ride a giraffe. And that’s great considering when they first arrived at the giraffes, no on had even mentioned riding them. She came across that feeling all on her own and everyone else can’t help but laugh and feel relieved. Her mind may have forgotten but her heart remembers everything. There is no “old Emma” and “new Emma” to her family, just “Emma” and words can’t express how wholesome that is because they love her regardless. All that matters to them is Emma’s happiness because if anyone deserves to feel and experience that, it’s her.

I just made myself tear up, damn it. I started this series with season one okay? I heard about this precious girl’s dream within the first minute of the first episode and here I am, a little bit over two years later, finally reading about it coming true and seeing that bright as hell smile on her face. Do you know how amazing it is to come full circle like that? My heart feels so full right now. I’m beyond proud of her and love her to death. Say what you want but I believe this to be the true manga ending in my eyes.

(damn this series for always getting me emotional)

[cosmiclatte28]

90′s LOVE (Sungchan x you, Mark)

The MV IS OUT!! and I really like their concept. This is like how EXO nailed the football concept and now NCT nailed the Hockey concept!! I am so excited that I have this in my mind... 

I hope this is not boring and yeah give Sungchan some more love! 

warning : i don’t want to soil the plot, but there’s some kiss..

PART TWO HERE

You bend to untie your skating shoes; you're done with today's skating class. The locker is already crowded with the trainee for the next schedule. The ice hockey team from your club is here to play today. They're the best team in town, NCT U Dinosaur and next week they are playing against Gorillas. You bet it will be an interesting match with the Dinos winning of course, there's no doubt with that tall new center they have and the super tight bond between the players. It's like their mind is already connected and they can always pass the puck with ease. You excuse your way to your own locker, well with their padded costumes and tall bodies, you're struggling to find your way to the locker.

"Excuse me," you say between each steps and the members are all friendly to you, hey they always meet you because your class is before theirs and so you always see them preparing themselves. "Oh hey there (y/n)," Mark, your best friend and secret crush, greets you with a quick side hug. He squishes your shoulder and you just laugh nervously obviously surprised and shy from what he did. He's super friendly with you to the point where you wish he can see you as someone more than a friend. He lets you go when his other friend calls him and you make your way to the end of the locker. "I see someone is left behind again," a tall shadow appears on your peripheral views. You sigh, knowing this is once again Sungchan teasing you for your one-sided crush on Mark. Well, you knew Sungchan earlier than you knew Mark, Sungchan once went to the same elementary school as you did, so there's nothing awkward between the two of you. You got separated but meet one another again in this skating rink. Him as a hockey player, you as a figure skater. "Shut up, he's called over." You try to push the negative thought away.

Deep inside your heart, you still have the slightest hope that Mark is liking you back. Sungchan just laughs at you, he puts his hand over your head wanting to ruffle your hair, but your bun doesn't allow him to. He awkwardly puts his hand down, lucky you did not realize this. "So, you're going to stay and watch us practice?" Sungchan has hope in his tone. You look around and see your brother Ten already entering the Barn (the rink). "I guess I have to wait for Ten." you stuff your skates into your bags and grab your slippers. "Oh okay cool. Wish me luck I need to warm up." Sungchan smiles to you, you just click your tongue, "Okay big boy, good luck." you fist bump him and he makes his way out of the room. You change your clothes and make yourself comfortable in the bleachers. With one cup of hot tea and a phone in your other hand, you waste your time on the internet. "Hey you wanna go home?" Ten skates to your side and asks over the rink. You see the time, and shake your head, "I got nothing to do, I'll watch you. Focus," you shoo him away and he just pulls you his nose scrunch face. Their practice ended nicely, and you have your eyes glued to Mark on all of the game. Dude, he's a good wing man and Sungchan is a tough center. His scoring is accurate and he's super calm in the midst of the game. Your brother is playing as a wing man too. Practice ended with Mark's team winning and they all crowded the room back with their sweaty bodies. After a shower, you find yourself going home with your brother. "Next week is game day, you must watch us!" Ten says excitedly on the way home inside the bus. "Sure, I mean I am on a term break for preparing the state skating, I can watch your games." You squeeze your brother's hand. "How's your practice today?" he asks you this time. You shake your head, "Not good, I cannot do the quad axel yet and my biggest rival, Taeyong, can do that easily. I mean even when we skate on different categories... I still feel I lost to him." Ten hugs you from the side and cheers you up, "Hey you're doing great okay, you just need a few more practices It's okay." You shake your head, "It's not. He did it in two tries and I still can't do it. Maybe mom is right, figure skating is not for me." Ten looks at you in amusement, "The hell are you saying? You worked hard from seven years old and you're thinking of stopping because of one move where people acknowledge as something nearly impossible to be done?!" You laugh at yourself, "Silly? maybe I should join the hockey team. Maybe Mark will pay more attention to me." You're open to your brother about your feelings, he knows your silly one sided crush on Mark and Ten has already told you repeatedly to move on, but you're so stubborn. "Still not over him eh?" Ten changes the topic. You blush and nod your head, "He's so sweet." Ten actually knows Mark is always sweet with everyone, no he is not a player. He is just warm and welcoming to all girls, Ten knows Mark longer than you but you never listen your brother. "For once can you listen to me?" he desperately sighs, you shake your head. Ten stops. "Let me just tell you this, someone else is always there for you, but when you're busy counting stars, you forgot the moon." Ten shuts his mouth afterwards and you find his sentence confusing. What is wrong with Ten? Sungchan goes back home with his roommate, Mark. Together they walk under the warm moon and talk about random things until Mark asks Sungchan about you. "So I heard you know (Y/n) right?" The taller guy just nods his head, "Yeah why?" "It's just that is she available?" Mark directly asks this and Sungchan is surprised, is he interested in her? No way this is happening. Sungchan notices the small smile Mark tries to hide but failed. "Well as far as I know she is not seeing anyone." Sungchan admits he really wants to lie and say you're not available, but you will kill him. "Oh a cute girl like her is still single?" Mark's eyes dilate twice in size. Sungchan rolls his eyes, "Maybe because she is waiting for someone to make the move." Mark whistles, "Classic, and you? You're dating anyone?" Sungchan blushes, "No one in the moment." Mark just nods his head, "Uh maybe you can ask her out, you seem to like her." Sungchan almost froze on his steps, wait was he really obvious? He wants to yell at Mark "Oh hell yeah I am asking her out when I know she has a crush on you... you dense..." He holds his words and just toss Mark a silly look, "Nah, not now. She's not interested in me." "Why not try?" Mark nonchalantly asks. Sungchan wishes he can spill the beans, but no he can't inside his heart he only scream "Because I know that I will just be her rebound when she realizes you're really not interested in her." "I don't know Mark, why don't you try win her if you like her." Sungchan tosses back the bomb and Mark just chuckles "I am already committed." "Hell what? You never told me!" Mark blushes, "Well it's not usual so I'm not really telling anyone." Sungchan understands and touches the shorter's shoulder, "Who is he?" Mark smiles, "Haechan, it's Haechan our defence." Sungchan smiles happily for his brother, he slaps his back, "Congrats bro!" Mark just giggles, "Thanks, come on let's go in!" They arrive at their apartment and Sungchan feels his head breaking down.

So how can he tell you Mark is unavailable, and he knows you'll be so heart broken. Sungchan thought of all the possibilities and ended up sleeping. He didn't see you anymore until the game day. You are there sitting on the bleachers with your oldest brother, Taemin and the two of you are super excited. You see Sungchan on his way to the dressing room and you dash quickly to see him, you just want to wish him luck. "Sungchan-ie!!" you reach his hand and he stops in track, looking back he sees you "Oh it's you!" his smile erupts. You hand him a chocolate bar, "Good luck! Score many points today okay? Play safe" you pat his back and he can't hide his silly face, "Thanks, I will do my best. Hey where are you going?" he asks when you move away. You mouthed MARK and leave him. That's when he realizes he should've stopped you from looking Mark but he's too late. Sungchan sees you frozen in track by the door of the locker room, the energy drink you bring for Mark falls to the ground and before he can reach for you, you've ran away. Sungchan wants to run after you but his captain Winwin calls him. "Shit," Sungchan sees Mark and Haechan on the corner making out and his smart brain is enough to understand you learn the truth the hard way.

Sungchan is a professional, once he is in the Barn, he’s busy with the game and he sets aside all of the emotion and problems. He’s determined to console you after the game, so first he needs to win this game and then win your heart.

The game ended with fantastic scores, Sungchan performs very well and scores many today. You cheer excitedly by Taemin’s side. The two of you jumping excitedly when the team wins.

You’re still sad when you saw Mark earlier, but here you are once again in the waiting room congratulating everyone in the team. You hold your tears when you get a hug from Mark. His hug sure feels different now, you know it you really stand no chance. You walk to your other friend, Sungchan and you surprise him with a hug. You never hug him first, but today you feel like he’s the only one you can trust.

“Congratulations” you whisper and Sungchan excitedly picks you up from the floor. You yelp but let him pick you up, well he’s way taller than you.

“Sorry,” he whispers back, “Sorry I did not run to you earlier.”

You gulp, oh so he saw you. “No don’t be. I’m fine. You need to focus on the game earlier.”

“Yeah I did, all because you came here and gave me the luck I need.” He still has you levitating and clinging to his big tall frame.

You squirm in his touch, “Okay put me down,”

“No. Not until you cry yourself and calm down.”

Your lips tremble, Sungchan sure is a smart man.

“I am not going to cry,” you lie to him

Sungchan shakes his head, “You will. I know you want to cry now. He’s gone already, no one is here you can cry.”

You sigh, “Please.. please put me down.”

He puts you down and sits beside you.

“I am a fool wasn’t I?” You bite your lips, eyes already wet.

Sungchan pulls you into his embrace, “Pour it all out.”

You stain his jersey with tears, and you punch his chest angrily.

“It hurts,” those are the last words you say before closing your eyes and just feeling the warmth Sungchan gives.

Ten comes into the room and catches the scene, he quickly runs to take you over and lets Sungchan changes his clothes first. The younger man did what Ten said and Ten also knew what happened. Well earlier once the game ended, he clearly saw Mark kissing his boyfriend, and Ten knows you’re crying because of that.

You look up to Ten and with hiccups you ask him, “Hyung,  I focused on the star.. and now when the star is gone… did I lost my moon too?”

Ten sighs, you remember what he said that night. Ten looks into the tall man who’s cleaning up his gears and smiles, he rubs your back and brings your teary face to see him, “Hey you did not lose the moon. I can assure you, this time the moon is still here.”

“Really?” you sniffle

Ten brushes your hair away, “Yes honey, you just have to look closely.”

Your eyes catch Sungchan’s tall figure and everything clicks.

“I’ll try, I don’t want to rush…” you shy away from Ten’s gaze.

Ten smiles, “It’s okay, he waited this long, he can wait a bit more.”

Sungchan hears that and just smile, he leaves the room so you two can talk more privately, but deep inside his heart he knows if he plays the game right, he can win your heart now.

 endddd 

please support nct u 90′s love, be it streaming or just appreciate their music and maybe tell someone else about the song! It brings back memories :D

[theropoda]

saw some discussion of majima's Mad Dog Persona©®™ on twitter and thought itd be nice to put down my thoughts on it somewhere. spoilers for y0 and y4, sorta. i get a little emo so this is kinda long and unnecessarily wordy

if you ask me it's all about control and being used. in 1985 he and saejima are used as pawns, small part of something so much bigger. they thought they knew what they were doing, what their purpose was but they didn't. they didn't know the truth of their actions and what they were really being used for. the truth itself is something i don't fucking understand tho lol, the plot of yakuza 4 is such convoluted nonsense and my least favorite of all the games so far because of it. idk what happened all i know is that they were both used

and he's used in the hole, cause god knows that his torturers weren't doing this shit out of just duty but for fun, blow off some steam and frustration by going into the hole and kicking the poor dude's teeth in.

and in the grand he's used, like a donkey with a carrot dangling in front of him, always being told oh, make a few million more and we'll let you back into the clan. and when he reaches that goal, it's a few million more, actually. of course no one's gonna let go of this cash cow.

and oh my God. the entirety of yakuza 0 he's used and he's used in the worst most heart wrenching way possible oh my fuck.

im coming to that part of this post where i lack the energy to articulate my thoughts both cause i simply am tired and because im being EMO!!!!!!! but that entire scene.

shimano revealing that he KNEW that he sent majima to kill makoto because he KNEW that he couldn't kill her, and would instead protect her.

it's not just "following my orders without realizing their true purpose" anymore. it's "going against what ive been told to protect who i love, thinking i was doing something right, only to be told i was following the plan." imagine thinking you were saving someone, only to be playing into the hands of the people who wanted to hurt that someone.

how heart shattering and humiliating that must've been??? to realize that your actions were not your own!!!!! and the words that really fucking hammer that shit in and made me lose my mind a little, "i know ya better than ya know your damn self."

not just his actions but his feelings too. i have my issues w majima and makoto's relationship but the idea that even something as intimate as their love and trust was just a stepping stone to a bigger goal, something like that just being used for shimano's reach for power, that shit hurts.

EVERYTHING about majima was used. predictable. i cannot imagine how it feels to be seen through like that. it must be so fucking dehumanizing, again the actions you thought were your own were not your own. you were just being used for something else bigger than you. feeling like a puppet.

that entire series of events is the crux of his mad dog persona for me, his breaking point. this persona has changed and developed over the years, shifting to fit new needs like a dinosaur (because dinosaurs were CRAZY successful and versatile, don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you'd fucking go extinct if a big ball of fire hit you too) but its foundations really lay here.

it's born out of the sickness of being used again and again. your body is used and your FEELINGS are used, all actions that you thought were your own were not your own. everything about you is calculated.

but you can't be used if you're unpredictable. if you're nuts. the mad dog persona evolved, imo, to save majima from being used. he shows the world a fake, exaggerated version of himself keeping his true self hidden so no one knows what he's thinking or what he'll do next. now he can't be controlled, he controls himself, and he's no longer afraid to do what he damn well pleases. no one's going to tell him what to do.

as i said before, this person changes over time as he meets kiryu and co, reunites with saejima, etc...but that's for another time i think.

BEFORE i end this post i should definitely say; i think people ignore lee and sagawa's role in inspiring him to live the way he does. it's always nishitani nishitani nishitani, which yeah he did but lee and sagawa were a big impact on him too and i love that. i could write a whole lot on sagawa and majima's relationship but i'll say that the fact that majima learned a lesson (tenacity, in particular) from his literal abuser and captor is part of his adaptability. this man has done horrible things to him yet he was still able to...learn something from him. he makes do with what he has, learns whatever tricks life can give him, even if it's through pain and torture at the hand of some piss drinker.

[randomsnakesimp]

As the last one seemed to actually be of interest to some people, I thought I might move on to another section of my theories on w.i.t.c.h. : Jonathan Ludmoore, Elias van Dahl and time travel.

So, this one is more of a "trying to warp around canon" kind of theory.

The main issues I am trying to solve here, which I stumbled upon while reading, are:

- how did Elias and Cedric get to 400 years in the past if Phobos is only five years older than Elyon?

- if both Cedric and Ludmoore worked for Phobos, and were seemingly close to him, why did neither of them acknowledge knowing the other in any way, shape or form?

- how did Ludmoore get a hundred years to the past to open holes in the veil if, again, he had to have interacted with Phobos?

- if there is a time travel option, why do neither Phobos nor Cedric nor any of the rebels ever try using it to their advantage?

- We know Elyon was brought to modern day earth, and that Phobos was about five at that point, so Meridianese time cannot run that much slower than earth time, unless there's a weird time warp involved, but...yeah, if I go there, my brain will probably implode. Feel free to if you're smarter than me, though, I'd love to hear thoughts on that.

- We also know that time travel will never be freely available, as otherwise, there'd be time travelers around somewhere during the comics time line for sure, but there has to be some way Cedric and Elias, who were definitely no born time travelers, did travel in time.

Now, I'm gonna offer up two different theories. The first one is the best I can come up with to explain all of the above is the following line of events:

Ludmoore is actually from future Meridian, likely Renaissance or something, so roughly equivalent to the time he ended up in on earth, as well.

He was a brilliant alchemist, and also apparently rather charming, so he managed to get a hold of the pathetic leftovers of the breath of time - remember, it was severely damaged during Phobos' attempt at reviving himself, and according to Yan Lin, only a few corns of the magical sand had remained inside. I assume Ludmoore took the remaining sand and managed to produce a potion or some other sort of product usable by anyone who got a hold of it.

Since this fatally destroyed the breath of time, and it's the only magical artifact with time altering abilities, the only option for more time travellers to exist would have been if Ludmoore got a hold of the old, complete breath of time, since he's the only one with the recipe for the potion and from his first time travel onward, no more sand of time is available, but since he never got there, this explains why no other time travellers exist.

So Ludmoore went back in time, to Phobos' reign just before Elyon returned to Meridian. Using a fake name, so he wouldn't be recognized in history books in his present, he approached Phobos to sell him his time traveling potions, and Phobos used the opportunity to ask Ludmoore to weaken the veil. Ludmoore agreed, and used his magic to travel to earth into a time he felt comfortable with. Since Cedric never saw Ludmoore, and Phobos never mentioned Cedric to him (likely on purpose, as I feel his childhood emotional trauma coupled with his love for Cedric would leave him prone to a never-ending fear Cedric might, one day, meet someone he prefers over Phobos), Cedric would only have heard Ludmoores fake name and since neither of them were aware that Ludmoore created the portals, instead expecting him to weaken the veil even further in their time, they just assumed he failed and kind off forgot about him.

It was only when Ludmoore got to earth that he realized HE was the one to create the holes in the veil in the first place. From there on, we know the rest of his story.

Meanwhile, in Meridian, Elias van Dahl decided that he, for some reason, really needed to paint a portrait of Phobos against his explicit wishes - like, dude, there are so many things you could have painted, why Phobos? - and got himself persecuted. He got a hold of one of the three time travel potions Phobos bought, and used it to escape.

Fearing he might use the extra years gained from this to create a massive rebellion scheme, Phobos sent Cedric after him, using up the remaining two potions for his back and forth travel. Rip Phobos' money.

Now, as promised, I have another take, which does not explain Elias van Dahl and Cedrics time travel, but I somehow just prefer? It came to me from the discussion with @sp1c3m0nst3r about multiple princes in the past being named Phobos.

This theory would be that Ludmoore did, indeed, live a hundred years from the present in the story, and was ordered to weaken the veil by a different prince Phobos, for whatever reason.

This theory builds more heavily on how I believe the book of elements to work. I might dedicate a post to this entirely in the future, but for now, it's enough to know that I think it works like a book for those in it, in that it displays what they would picture if reading the written words - think how the more of the girls are present, the more details we see, and how Ludmoore looks so different in chapter 2's flashback than in person. So, since they don't know it's a different prince Phobos Ludmoore talked to, the one they know is portrayed.

I just feel like this one takes less weird leaps and somehow fits the overall tone and story better? But this might be personal preference.

Last but not least, since this is kinda on the same topic: after some back and forth consideration, I do not think the dinosaurs in the book of elements are a product of Ludmoores time travels, as much as that would have been a great thing to include.

This is mainly due to two facts:

- if they were, the chapter should have been before the one where he's trapped in the book

- the dinosaurs are just so damn inaccurate, and he, being a scientist, would have likely described them in more detail, drawing attention to how they differed from popular belief during the early 20th century, so the girls would likely not just have imagined the stereotypical animals displayed

I believe that, since the chapter is called "Matt", this is the one Matt wrote, and likely Ludmoore was just like "create a highly dangerous environment that will stop my enemies and suit my new giant pet lizard" and Matt's controlled mind - remember, Cedric states he has a pounding headache that makes thinking difficult while Ludmoore controls him - did the best it could. (This should work since I don't think the island Matt stranded on is the same the girls go to, but including the reason for this would, I think, go too far off topic and take up a lot of space. I might touch on it in the aforementioned post on the book of elements, though)

Thank you for reading to the end!

This one was a bit convoluted, and I'm pretty sure I still missed some important points that likely render this theory useless, so again, feel free to agree, argue or add anything you like! I look forward to hearing your ideas on this

[hai-nakyuu]

I have saw your previous post about haikyuu boys personalities turn180 when they are around you. I would absolutely love if you do it for Kageyama and Tsukishima too. (or characters you would like you write too)

haikyuu boys whose personalities would do a 180 when they’re around you (part 2)

includes: kageyama, tsukishima

kageyama

(okay this was quite hard for me because you ALL know what a chaotic baby boi he is JASJAKSJAKJSKAKSLA also before we get started omg this baby’s birthday is the day after mine!!)

so kageyama’s naturally intimidating

i mean have you seen him try to smile??

but with you, oh, the baby tries his damn best to be an ideal boyfriend.

it’s so cute and endearing, cause you see how he kinda gets around you.

even if he messes up just a teeny tiny bit, he will apologize

please let him know his efforts are valid, bb boy is doing his best

“GWAH-!” hinata once again receives too late and gets another ball to the face.

“BOKE!” kageyama almost growls, fanning himself with the collar of his shirt. “get up and help me, i need to get this perfect by the end of the practice.”

hinata grumbles and scrambles off the maple floor, but does a double take at the setter’s words.

“did... did you just say you need my help?”

the rest of the team hears it too. they’re all staring at him, and kageyama fights the urge to punch something, particularly an orange-haired freak.

“i did, boke. now get up before i follow up that ball with another.”

“kageyama,” hinata pops a mentos and runs back to the net, “what do you even need to practice for? there isn’t a match until next month-”

“or is tobio-kun trying to impress a special someone?” sugawara raises a cocky eyebrow. the vice-captain knows what his successor’s trying to do.

“wha- sugawara-san- i-” kageyama stutters on his words.

“OH HE IS!” tanaka and nishinoya bounce around him. “TOBIUO’S ALL GROWN UP! HE’S A BIG BOY!”

they tackle him in a hug, and hinata follows after, leaping in and cheering for kageyama. yamaguchi and ennoshita pull asahi in a bit quite harshly, and the ace accidentally tugs both daichi and sugawara along. tsukishima tries to sass about how the great king has his own queen now, but sugawara shushes him and yanks him onto the pile of screaming volleyball boys.

amongst all the screaming, the laughter, the teasing, and the shouts of pain because BOKE HINATA BOKE YOUR FOOT IS IN MY FACE-

“hello?”

they all turn to you, standing at the gym gates with an eco-bag full of milk cartons.

god damn, you look like an angel to kageyama. (and it’s not just because you’re holding a load of his favorite drink.)

“kageyama-kun, is that her?”

kageyama smiles. it comes to him genuinely. it’s like once he sees you, the weight on his chest is gone. (quite literally, because the team takes this as their cue to scramble their way off kageyama).

“yeah. that’s my girl.”

“hi bubs!” you grin and hold out the eco-bag. “i got you some refreshments.”

“hi babe,” he sits up and takes the bag from your hands, and presses a kiss to your knuckles. “you didn’t have to get me these.”

“it was on sale, anyways,” you turn red at his public display of affection.

hinata makes his way to you, stars in his eyes as he shakes your hand. “hello! i’m hinata-kun, nice to meet you, kageyama’s girlfriend!”

you smile back and eagerly shake his hand. “i’m y/n, nice to meet you all!”

nishinoya and tanaka are in tears. they kneel down in front of kageyama, who turns horribly red.

“KAGEYAMA-SENPAI!!” they wail. “WE DIDN’T THINK YOU’D GET A GIRLFRIEND BEFORE US! AND YOU TREAT EACH OTHER SO WELL! YOU HAVE OUR RESPECT KAGEYAMA-SENPAI”

“s-senpai?!” kageyama’s eyes widen. “get-get off the damn floor! the both of you being single has nothing to tdo with me! the two of you are just idiots!”

he turns to you, his cheeks burning. “t-that’s noya-san and t-tanaka-san, they’re just jealous... that i.... have such a lovely and supporting girlfriend.”

your heart melts at his words.

meanwhile, sugawara-san hoots and claps for his first-year setter. “kageyama-kun, nice!”

kageyama turns impossibly redder. “i’m s-sorry about them, babe.”

you laugh shyly, and brush a hand through his hair to calm him down. “bubs, they’re just happy for you. i’m happy for you too, you’ve always done your best to make me smile.”

hinata pipes up before kageyama can react. “he really has been trying, y/n-chan! he wanted to impress you with his tosses earlier! he wouldn’t stop being so nervous abou-”

a volleyball collides with his face. needless to say this story ends nearly quite the way it began, only with our precious blueberry boy smiling just a little bit brighter.

tsukishima

okay, this dude has a big bro. he was taught how to treat a lady.

you cannot change my mind that he’s a gentleman

he loves you w all of himself

has this inner conflict of whether to keep his cocky self around his team when he’s with you

or just be a simp and snarl at anyone who teases him for it

 “tell us about her!”

“well, she’s pretty cool. and smart. she’s beautiful and-“

“yamaguchi, urusai.”

“ah!- gomen, tsukki. yachi-san’s just so pretty i can’t help complimenting her.”

“oi, tsukishima!” hinata chomps into a meat bun. “don’t tease yamaguchi for simping for his girlfriend! at least he has one.”

tsukishima’s eyebrows narrow. “what are you insinuating, shrimp?”

sugawara points at him with his chopsticks. “when are you getting a girlfriend?”

before tsukishima can answer, yamaguchi pipes up.

“tsukishima already has one! she’s super sweet... and funny, and... oh no.”

tsukishima chokes on his food and turns to yamaguchi. yamaguchi’s eyes widen and he whispers a sorry before the first-years and second-years let out a collective scream of suprise.

guess it’s too late to tell him to shut up.

“TSUKISHIMA-KUN YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?” hinata screams. Kageyama spits out his water.

“tsukishima, why didn’t you tell us?” nishinoya karate-chops him on the head. “what is she like? tell us! tell us! T E L L  U S”

“i don’t have to tell any of you airheads anything,” he grumbles, trying to will himself not to blush.

“if you won’t tell us, we’ll just ask yamaguchi! yama-yama! is tsukishima a simp?”

yamaguchi turns red and stutters. “i-i-i can’t tell you anything! ju-ju-just ask her, she’s coming over today- oh no! oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!” he buries his face in his hands.“i spoiled the suprise! y/n-san’s gonna be saaaaaaad!”

tsukishima rolls his eyes. “yamaguchi, urusai. i can always just pretend i’m surprised.”

everyone falls silent.

yamaguchi feels tears of joy. “tsukishima... you would do that for y/n-san?”

tsukishima furrows his eyebrows. “yeah. i wouldn’t wanna get shortcake’s effort to go to waste-”

there’s a knock on the gym doors. yamaguchi aggressively shushes everyone, then pushes his best friend a little too harshly to open the door.

“who is it- shortcake?”

he tries his best to pretend he’s shocked, but he’s met face-to-face with a dinosaur plushie just as tall as he is.

“surprise!” you smile, placing the stuffed animal down and hold your arms out.

tsukishima really is surprised. his features soften as the corner of his lips quirk up.

“shortcake,” he pulls you in for a hug. “what’s all this?”

“congrats on your win! you were fire!” you grin.

“you don’t have to say that. it’s fine. but thank you for the gifts.”

“Y/N-SAAAAAN!”

“yama-yama!” you run to your friend and bear hug him. “i saw you too! you were badass!”

“b-badass??” he blushes. “pshaw, no, i just stayed on the court for a while-”

“don’t say that! the both of you were great!”

“shortcake, huh?” hinata glares at tsukishima. “you just call everyone who isn’t taller than you a shorty, huh?”

tsukishima smirks, and snakes an arm around your waist, pulling you close and pecking you on the lips. “what’s wrong with enjoying the little things in life?”

[ri-ahhh]

Okay but hear me out: Grayson begging to come with you to take care of your baby siblings (like 2 and 4 years old) and he’s ON IT but then they get really out of hand and he’s like “I can see why birth control is a thing”

Listen I worked in a daycare for four years and I’m a firm believer that anyone wanting to have a kid needs to work that job for a week. Or like, forget the stupid baby dolls you take care of in high school, let a 15 yr old take care of 5 babies or 10 2 yr olds by themselves and see if they’ll have unprotected sex lol

You’re walking around your apartment, straightening up the place and removing anything potentially breakable or that might be a choking hazard in preparation for the day you promised to babysit your niece and nephew, when your phone buzzes in the back pocket of your jeans.

“Hello?” you answer, unplugging a stray phone charger from the wall socket by the couch and replacing it with one of the childproof plastic covers.

“Hey,” came Grayson’s voice on the other end of the line. “What time do you think you’ll head over?”

You pause in the middle of the room, confused momentarily, then smack your palm to your forehead. You had totally forgotten the plans you had made with your boyfriend to have a pool day at his house. 

“Shit. I’m sorry, Gray. I totally forgot, I told my brother like three weeks ago that I’d watch his kids for the day while he and his wife go house hunting.”

“Oh, damn,” he says, disappointed. His voice perks up when he speaks again, however. “I love kids, though! What if I came over and helped you out?”

You raise an eyebrow. “You want to spend your Saturday wrangling two toddlers? They’re little hellions, babe, to put it nicely.”

You can hear his grin through the phone. “Yeah. I wanna see you be an auntie.”

After a few seconds of hesitation, you relent. You’d be lying if you tried to say that you aren’t thinking about him being in dad mode for the day now, too. “Alright, but you don’t get to bail when shit hits the fan. Let me check that it’s cool with my brother.”

An hour later, you’ve got your just-turned-two niece Cami and her four year-old brother Cash sitting on your couch, entranced by Aquanauts playing on the TV, when Grayson knocks at the door. The kids’ heads jerk up, and your nephew looks at you questioningly, always excited for the opportunity to be a big boy and answer the door. You smile and nod, giving him permission to scramble off the couch with you following close behind.

You help him heave the door open, and he looks up at Grayson standing there, friendly smile fixed on his face when he sees your nephew. 

“Hey, little man! Can I come in?”

Cash nods with an excited smile of his own. You had already told him that your friend Grayson would be coming over to play with them. Outgoing and extroverted and a genuine people-person to no end, he had been as jittery and excited as if you had given him a spoonful of sugar ever since.

Grayson steps past the threshold of your apartment, and holds his fist out for Cash to bump. “I’m Grayson.”

You feel two little hands tug on your shirt, and you look down to see Cami reaching up to be held, curious about this new person but also cautious. You sweep her up and settle her on your hip, then nod at your nephew. “Gray, this is Cash. Tell him how old you are, bud.”

“Four!” he shouts, counting out the correct number of fingers before holding them up to Grayson. “I had a Spider-Man party! Do you like Spider-Man?”

“Dude, I love Spider-Man,” Grayson says exaggeratedly, giving Cash an enthusiastic high-five. He looks at Cami, who’s got her head resting on your shoulder as she watches this stranger interact with her brother. “And who’s this?”

“You gonna tell Grayson your name?” you ask Cami, knowing it’ll be hit or miss if she does or not. Much more of an introvert and also used to having an older silbling do everything for her, she isn’t quite as quick to warm up to people as her rambunctious brother. Sure enough, today is a no-go, but she still observes Grayson with big eyes and a fascinated little smile. 

Before you can answer your boyfriend, Cash speaks for her in that typical older-sibling fashion. “Her name is Campbell, but we call her Cami. Or Cam.”

“No way! My sister’s name is Cam, too!”

That’s all the small talk and mutual ground Cash needs to grab Grayson by the wrist and drag him into your living room to play with the pile of toys on the rug. He flashes you a grin as he passes, clearly impressed with himself that he’s already made such good friends with Cash.

You grin and roll your eyes, but follow them and sit with your back resting against the couch and Cami planted in your lap.

Admittedly, Grayson is a natural as he makes all the appropriate dinosaur and car crash noises and gladly accepts the Batman action figure instead of Spider-Man. He even coaxes Cami to take one of the animal figures, meeting her smile with a bright one of his own, glad to be making some headway now with the precious little girl in your arms.

Until Cash catches sight of the little plastic tiger now in Cami’s hands, and decides to ruin the moment completely.

“That’s mine, Cam!” he shouts, dropping Spider-Man and snatching the toy from her.

You know it’s coming, but Grayson is completely unprepared for the shrieking scream that Cami lets out as she clambers off your lap to take back the toy. Gray winces and looks at you in shock, but you’re just immediately going into ‘stop the fight’ mode.

“Cash, you weren’t even playing with that,” you reprimand, holding out your hand for him to reluctantly drop the toy into. You sit Cami on the rug next to him and make her look you in the eye. “Cami, use your words next time. What do you say when you want something?”

Her eyes light up when she sees the toy in your hand that she knows is about to belong to her once again. “P’ease!” she says, swiping her hand across her chest as well, leftover baby sign language engrained in her little brain.

You hand her the toy and make her say ‘thank you’ as well, then catch Grayson watching you in awe. “You handled that well,” he says.

You blush a little and shrug, crawling across the carpet now that the kids are happy and occupied so you can plant a soft kiss to his lips. “Hi,” you murmur, grinning against his mouth.

He chuckles and kisses you again, equally as chaste. “Hi.”

There are a couple more arguments that you have to stop, then they settle down for a bit while they eat a morning snack of banana slices and Cheerios. Cami definitely dumps her half-empty bowl on the floor to signify that she’s finished, and Cash accidentally spills his water everywhere after taking the lid off because ‘he’s not a baby.’ Grayson offers to clean it up while you take the kids to the bathroom to wipe Cami’s messy hands and face and to change Cash’s soaking wet clothes.

There’s a park nearby your apartment, so once everything is tidy again, the two of you round up the excited little balls of energy and head out the door. Both kids have easily become infatuated with Grayson, and as the four of you walk the sidewalk on your way to the park, he carries Cami on his hip while holding tightly on to Cash’s hand to stop him from chasing bugs into traffic. It’s an adorable image, to say the least, and makes your chest swell warmly.

You like watching him run around with Cash equally as much while you push Cami on the baby swings. Grayson is learning first-hand that even someone as in-shape as himself is no match for the energy of an excited four year-old. He chases Cash around the playground, flies him around like an airplane, and plays a game of tag before finally convincing him to come to the swings as well.

You laugh when he makes his way over, panting heavily. “Having fun?” you ask amusedly.

Grayson doesn’t answer, just takes his place behind the swing Cash chooses and catches his breath for a moment as he starts to push him.

“Just trying to figure out how my dad did this with me and E.”

Lunch and nap come next, which goes a little smoother than snack had. Grayson plays with them on the floor again while you cook, and you let him put out the squabbles himself until everything is ready. Cash only puts up a small fight when you lay them down in your bed. They’re both out in a matter of minutes, exhausted by the activities and excitement of their morning.

When you emerge back in the living room, you find Grayson slumped on the couch, staring at the TV that’s now playing Dora.

“Brushing up on your Spanish?” you ask, plopping down next to him and snuggling up to his side. “Or are you watching for the adventure?”

Grayson chuckles and wraps his arm around your shoulder so he can pull you closer to him, his voice gruff and tired. “You were right. Hellions, both of them. Cute, but insane.”

You tip your head up to kiss the underside of his jaw. “For what it’s worth, they loved you.”

“Really?” he asks, his voice lighting up with the smile you can’t see.

You nod against his chest, grinning as you think back on the day. “Absolutely. Cami never takes to strangers that fast, and you were able to keep up with Cash, which is a feat not many others can do.”

He’s quiet for a moment. “Kinda makes me scared to have kids now. It’s only been like five hours and I’m already exhausted.”

“You’re meant to be a dad Gray,” you assure him quietly, lifting your head and offering him a gentle smile. “If I didn’t already know that before, everything I saw today definitely made me think so. And no good thing comes easy, right? I think being a little tired is worth having one of those of your own, don’t you?”

“For sure,” he nods, cupping your cheek and dipping down to kiss you softly.

You hum into his mouth, needy for him now that you’ve got him all to yourself, and wrap your arms around his neck to pull him down until you’ve got him sprawled our on top of you. You trace his lips with your tongue before slipping it between them, but at the first slide of it against his, Grayson pulls back.

“Is this okay, you know, with them...?” He nods down the hall to the closed door of your room.

You nod. “They’re heavy sleepers. We should probably keep it to over the clothes stuff just in case, though. And my brother will be here in an hour to get them, so we only have to wait until then.”

It’s enough to satisfy him, and Grayson ducks down again, ready to pick right back up, until he breaks away from your mouth once more.

“What?” you ask breathily, looking up at him with both confusion and frustration.

He reaches an arm behind you to grab the remote sitting on the arm of the couch. “I’m sorry, I just can’t make out while Dora is screaming at me to ‘vamonos.’”

[takerfoxx]

Jurassic Park 4: Doki Idol Live Festival!

magic5ball submitted:

Remember how you asked me about my idea for a Jurassic Park sequel? Well, here you go:

The two velociraptors stood outside a pastel colored town house in Hokkaido prefecture, Japan. If any passerbys thought that was weird, they certainly didn’t show it. Probably because the raptors were wearing fedoras and fake mustaches, so they looked like humans. Also they had guns. Very cool, very intimidating mobster guns. A tommy gun and a sawed-off shotgun, respectively.

You needed guns, to survive Shinzo Abe’s little empire of vice and socialized medical care.

“So this is the place, huh?” muttered the velociraptor carrying the sawed-off shotgun. His thick Brooklyn accent hung in the air like concrete. “Kinda… frillier than I was expecting.”

“It better be.” Replied his companion, who sounded like your racist conservative uncle trying to impersonate that one cool guy from ‘The Godfather’ (You know, the one with the mustache who was played by Robert de Niro). “We hadda kill a whole lotta people to get this hellhole.”

Sawed-off shotgun licked his non-existent lizard lips

“But hey. That airplane stewardess tasted mighty fine goin-“

“Oh, for f*ck’s sake, would ya stop thinkin’ with your stomach and help me with this f*ckin’ knob!” cried tommy gun, trying to work the doorknob best he could with his raptor claws, which, in all honesty, wasn’t much, because raptor claws are terrible at operating things meant for human fingers. Little did he know, the door was a ‘pull’, not a ‘push.

At least he didn’t have to wait long before someone unlocked the door from the other side: another velociraptor, this one a bit on the short side. And p!ssed. Very, very p!ssed. You could tell he was the cool one because he wore an eyepatch over one eye. An eyepatch with a Captain Underpants logo on it.

“Didn’t your parent’s ever teach you idiots about using the doorbell?! I was just about to enjoy lunch with my beautiful wife and you-!“

He paused, recognizing the two figures facing him.

“Well, well, well” Said tommy gun, cocking his weapon “If it isn’t SWEET JOHN HAMMOND’S BALLSACK WHAT THE F*CK AM I LOOKING AT?!”

For the cool raptor was dressed in a gothic Lolita maid outfit, complete with a bonnet and penny loafers. Under his arm he carried a human sized pillow depicting what appeared to be a blonde floozy with massive tits.

 “Oh this? This is Mami Tomoe, my beautiful wife.”

“WHAT THE F*CK!?!?” Tommy gun pulled out a flask off orange Fanta from his butthole and drank the whole thing in one go. He did NOT have time for this homosexual weeaboo nonsense! Still, he and shotgun hadn’t left a mountain of corpses the exact height and width as Mt. Fuji behind them. Too many to go back to Isla Nublar empty handed. Er, clawed. Because they were dinosaurs. Who have claws.

Shotgun took a deep breath. “What the Boss means to say is, ‘May we take refuge in this fine establishment?’”

Cool raptor opened his mouth to reveal a pistol he’d hidden there. And by hidden I mean replaced his tongue with it.

“You know, for all crap you guys used to give me in the past, I oughta pump you full of lead right here and now. Buuutttt… the lady of the house is present, and I’m not in the mood to create more work on her end. So come on in! You’re just in time for lunch.”

Lest they attract unneeded attention, the three dinosaurs hopped inside.

.   .   .

Lunch was omurice boba tea with a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the side. It was just boba tea, but the boba had been replaced by omurice because F-Bomb hated the flavor of boba, which he likened to rabbit crap. The teriyaki sauce was teriyaki sauce.

It was the most racist thing shotgun had ever eaten.

“Well, now that you jerks have gotten a taste of my sloppy seconds, I suppose some introductions are in order. You’ve already met my lovely wife” Cool raptor gestured to the body pillow seated next to him “So that leaves you two. Mami, meet A-Hole and D-Bag. A-Hole’s got the tommy gun, D-Bag is ridin’ her sawed off shotgun, as always. They’re old… acquaintances of mine.”

“He.” Corrected D-Bag. “I’ve been using he/him pronouns six months now.”

“Well that’s an improvement. Now instead of bein’ the Boss’ side B!tch literally, you’re just his b!tch figuratively!”

“Well screw you too, F-Bomb!” laughed the boss. “An’ speakin’ of screwing, what’s with the fruity get up? You a prostitute now or something?”

 “Even better! This might surprise you, but I’ve got legitimate work now. This here’s my uniform, my uniform for MILF TIDDIES!”

A-Hole chugged his entire bottle of teriyaki sauce in one go, lest his mind implode from the sheer stupidity of that sentence.

“The Hell’s a milf tiddie!?”

“Only the best freakin’ maid café in Hoikaido, hookers!”

He gestured to a wall, covered in hundreds of photos of cute floozies dressed like they were attending a vampire’s funeral. Among them was a photo of F-Bomb in his drag, serving a deep fried hot dog to some elderly Japanese dude.

“As you can see, yours truly is serving Japan’s national desert to none other than 57th Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe!”

“Hold it up. Youse been hobnobbing it with politicians?!”

“I wish! You’re thinking of Shinzo Abe, 57th Prime Minister of Japan. This guy is his twin brother. Still pretty sweet though. We DID win a Grammy for that, after all.”

A-Holes eyes bulged out of his scaly raptor head.

“YOUSE WON A GRAMMY FOR THAT?!”

“Dang right! Milf Tiddies has won sixteen Grammys since I started working there!” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. A very special piece of paper, if the six holes punched into it were any indication. “Did you know that if you win ten Grammys in a row, they give you a free orphan? That’s how the wife and I got our glorious daughter, Lil’ Nagisa!”

F-Bomb pulled a faded photo out of his wallet. A photo showing himself, his pillow wife, and a smaller body pillow of a ten-year-old moeblob wearing a Green Bay Packers cheesehead helmet.

“So youse couldn’t even conceive your own kid?” Inquired D-Bag sexily. He was munching his omurice slowly, so F-Bomb knew he was being serious.

“Are you implying I have sex with my own wife, you sick freak?! I’m a weeaboo, not some degenerate anime fanboy! Get it straight!” He instinctively cocked the pistol in his throat. It was awesome as hell.

In response, D-Bag pumped his shotgun. Loudly.

“Permission to put the sick freak out of his misery, Boss?”

“Firstly, don’t call me Boss when we’re not having anal sex. Second, no can do, my spicy lover. We need F-Bomb alive.”

F-Bomb heard all of this even though A-Hole whispered it, but he pretended not to make A-Hole feel clever.

D-Bag mumbled about how the Boss was lucky he was so mind blowing in the sack, otherwise he would have left the relationship long ago. The sack in this case being a really kinky sex dungeon. Like really kinky. So kinky even Donald Trump wouldn’t go within a mile of it. D-Bag had almost died of autoerotic asphyxiation more times than I’ve gone to the bathroom in my lifetime. That’s why he was the smartest dinosaur out of the three of them. Now where was I again?

Anyway, F-Bomb interrogated

“Alright guys, what’s the deal? I know folks who come to this socialized medical care infested hellhole, and they don’t come here just to eat omurice boba tea. You WANT me for something.”

He cocked his mouth-pistol again. Sparks flew all over the carpet, which was made of alpaca fur so it didn’t catch fire.

A-Hole scandalously kept his cool.

“It’s about Isla Nublar.”

The second those words left A-Hole’s lips, F-Bomb escorted his wife out of the kitchen, but leaned her against the kitchen door, because that’s what she would have wanted.

“Well what about it? I told ya guys, I’m done with that dump.”

“They’re puttin’ the screws on us, F-Bomb. Making us pay for eating those tourists back in the nineties.”

“And what makes you think I care? Like I said, I’m done with that place. I got a wife and kid now.”

“But F-Bomb, doesn’t the Park mean ANYTHING to ya!? What about the time we ate that park ranger that called you a girl? ‘Better than sex’ I recall you saying.”

“Nice try, but I’m not exactly in the mood to get misgendered again. Don’t you guys got any ideas that don’t involve me?”

“As a matter of fact, yours truly had this really spectacular one!”

D-Bag did a hand gesture wherein he constantly crossed his dinosaur claws across his throat rapidly in quick succession. A-Hole, being very smart, knew this meant he should continue, loudly enough so that everyone in the prefecture could hear.

“It was called ‘Trump Ballz’. We’d harvest Donald Trump’s testicles, see, and sell them to the highest bidder, so they could do whatever people do with lopped off testicles. I’m not one to judge. It was a terrific idea. I know because when I told my best friend Donald Trump about it, he said, ‘A-Hole, this is an incredible idea. Absolutely terrific! This is probably the best idea in America! You are very smart, very intelligent dinosaur! I oughta buy you a prostitute!’ Of course, we didn’t realize that Trump’s ballz don’t grow back when you lop them off. Did you know that by the way? Human testicles don’t grow back-“

F-Bomb cocked the pistol inside his throat gain, getting the Boss to shut up. This was probably the most heroic thing anyone had ever done in the history of the universe. He also asked a question:

“SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?!”

A-Hole vomited a severed arm and a pamphlet onto the table.

“EVERYTHING, ya WEEB trash!”

The pamphlet was for something called the Doki Idol Live Fest- DILF, for short. F-Bomb was no stranger to the DILF, but they had parted ways years ago. Six, to be exact, when he had buried Nico Yazawa’s still screaming corpse by the side of the highway. And neither was he stranger to the prize.

It looked like a beer and soda drinking baseball cap, but only to complete idiots who didn’t know crap about the Idol Life.

And F-Bomb wasn’t one of those people, er dinosaurs.

“THE MCGUFFIN OF SIN?!”

“Dam* straight! And like it or not, youse the only one with enough idol know-how to help us win it! Thing’s worth, like, a zillion dollars.”

A zillion in this case was equivalent to half a million. Still, isn’t that impressive?

F-Bomb stuck his nose in his omurice and snorted, a common intimidation tactic among velociraptors. I know because I read  it in the Scientific American.

“Sorry, guys, but even with that on the line, no can do. I’m DONE with the Idol Life, any I’m not letting you filthy casuals drag me back in.” He cocked the pistol in his throat. “NOW SCRAM!”

A-Hole and D-Bag jumped out a window, so they could get the jump on a feral dog humping its’ owner. Nobody realized they were dinosaurs because of their fake mustaches, so it looked like a pair of mobsters were eating a puppy.

When they were gone, F-Bomb pranced to the bathroom, which was filled with plush alpacas he had collected over the years. So many, in fact, the bathroom did not meet OSHA compliance. Which was why F-Bomb had made it an independent nation state, only to realize that OSHA didn’t apply to him anyway, since he lived in Japan.

He had felt really stupid after that, but at least he got his own country out of it.

Anyway, he vomited sixteen liters of blood into the sink, for F-Bomb had a secret: he was dying. Back when he was a fetus in an egg in a lab on some island in the Caribean, he’d become addicted to the illegal street drug known as WEEB, and frequent use had poisoned his lungs. The doctors had given him Socialized Medical Care and four more years to live. The WEEB had taken eighty years off his life. Socialized Medical Care had borrowed his lawnmower and never given it back.

But F-Bomb also had a dream: he and his wife were going to build their own maid café, and it would be even better than MILF Tiddies. He’d already picked a title: DILF Tiddies, and it was going to be the greatest food-selling establishment in the history of Japan. Omurice boba tea was going to go global. But he’d never get the funds on time, not on his meager salary. Unless…

His beautiful wife greeted him as he exited the bathroom.

“Get a pen and some razor blades, sweetgums. I’ve got a letter to send.”

.   .   .

The message arrived in the neck of a mailman’s severed head. This is the traditional way velociraptors send letters to each other. I read it in a book.

D-Bag didn’t see the letter, but the look on A-Hole’s face told him everything.

“What’d I tell ya, D-Bag? Like I always say, when you’re dino you’re dino all the way, till youse dead in the ground or youse come out as gay!”

“Yeah, we really need to update those lyrics.”

End Chapter 1

...I cannot for the life of me decide if this is the greatest thing I've ever seen or the worst, but it at the very least had me staring speechless at my computer screen for a long time.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #376

“when the wind bends the branch to softly touch me  /  when the band plays your song  /  i feel strong enough to keep dreaming”

If your s/o smoked pot/did drugs would you care? Yes, but for pot that's only because it's illegal here. I also find smoking to be a turn-off, but I'd be able to look past that if it was for actual health reasons. Do people ever call you by your last name? No. Has the last person you dated/fell in love with ever seen you cry? Yes. Where are you going on your next vacation (or where do you WANT to go)? I've got none planned, nor do I know where I'd want to prioritize. Like there's South Africa, but I first need to get healthier before I could handle the heat and trudging through sand. I want to go to Yellowstone National Park to spread Teddy's ashes there (seeking permission of course), but again, I need to be in better shape before I go on a venture of photographing there, as well. I need to be healthier to do a lot of the things I want to... Do you own anything bought in another country? No. Who do you text the most? Sara. Four things you wish you had? Better health (including mental), financial stability, a job, and motivation to indulge more in my artistic hobbies. What was the last thing you cried about? Stress regarding this dog we're stuck with. What is your favorite Elvis song? Probably "You're The Devil In Disguise." Do you think you could be the next American Idol? Ha, absolutely not. Do you prefer reading fiction or non-fiction? Fiction, by a long shot. Does anybody send you money in the mail for your birthday? No. My grampa used to, but he's been dead a couple years. Who is one person you met and automatically didn’t like? I was not a fan of a doctor I once saw for my tremors. She was very rude and just threw the idea of me having Parkinson's or something at what, 17 years old or whatever? My psychiatrist knows her as well and knows she's a whackjob. Heard her name and was essentially like "ew" lmao. What monster would you be most afraid to have in your closet? A male one with a knife, I guess. I really hate knives. And men scare me anyway. Which Adam Sandler movie do you like the most? I don't know, he's in too many to possibly think of one right off the top of my head. Who was one of your first celebrity crushes? Jesse McCartney was my first true love, haha. Have you ever been hit on through text messages? Yes. Do you have to do any yard work? No. Have you ever mowed the lawn? No. Do you get an allowance? No. Did you ever know your great grandparents? I think I knew one? There was this woman from my childhood I knew as "GG" for "great grandma," but I have no recollection of who she was related to or even if she was directly related to me. I remember that I really really liked her, though. Do you like the taste of Tums? It's the texture I really don't like. The candy-like Tums though, y'know, not the chalky ones, I like more than someone should like medicine, haha. How about Pepto Bismol? Omfg no. Do you have a fast or slow metabolism? I have a slow metabolism, but thank Christ it's not as bad as when I was on Abilify. That stupid fucking medicine was the reason I gained so much weight that I haven't been able to lose. What’s your favorite onomatopoeia? (Crash, bang, zoom, meow) I dunno. Do you eat ramen? There's only one specific kind of ramen I've had that I like: Yakisoba's spicy chicken one. Sweet or regular pickles? Regular. I don't like sweet pickles. What kind of dreams do you have most often? Since my nightmares started, violent ones. I'm usually trying to defend myself or lashing out at someone myself. What do you do for personal growth? I try to be a deep thinker, for one. This can way too easily lead to overthinking, but I appreciate that I think it at least helps me learn from my mistakes and work towards making me a better person. I need to start challenging my anxiety more, as that would definitely be massive growth... If you could read anyone’s mind, who would be the first person you’d read? Jason's, only because all I want to know is if he thinks I was emotionally abusive after the breakup or not. But I also don't want to know. Do you have a makeup item or style trick that you feel improves your look significantly and that you feel like you couldn’t go without now that you have it? No. What’s your favourite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch, but I like a lot of cereals. Do you prefer red wine or white wine? I don't like wine. Way too bitter. Do you read Reddit? If so, how often and what subreddits do you like? I don't, but I've thought about lurking on a reptile husbandry one or something like that. Might learn some stuff. But at the same time, there are so many conflicting and very strong opinions amongst hobbyists to the point of awful toxicity that I'd rather not read. Have you recently broken up with a significant other or even just a friend? No. Have you ever eaten at a restaurant and left without paying? God no. When was the last time you played a board game? What did you play? Probably Scrabble back when Sara visited. Do you primarily use cash or card for your purchases? Why? Cash, because I don't have a debit or credit card. Do you believe sex should be mandatory in an ongoing dating relationship? Um, no? Some people don't care for it, and that's completely fine. Have you ever recorded yourself doing a cover of a song? No. Any secrets you’d never tell anyone? No matter how close they are to you? Yes. Do you like deviled eggs? NO. FUCK that yolk shit. What career are you most interested in? I still think my first career goal, a paleontologist, would be most interesting and exciting. Like just IMAGINE discovering a new dinosaur. And it's such a job of passion - you have to be so, SO careful and invest so much time in slowly recovering it from millions of years of rock and sand and time. I can only imagine the feeling of accomplishment when an excavation is complete. Have you ever seen a rooster? Yeah? What do you think about religion? Honestly, I personally wish it had never been a thing. It's brought with it so much hatred and bigotry, but I do acknowledge at the same time it's brought great comfort and hope to some people, and that's wonderful. But just all things considered, I feel it's done more harm than good. What’s your favorite sweetheart name (baby, honey, angel, dumpling) Probably "lovely." Has a little kid ever fallen asleep on your lap before? Yes, back when I babysat my neighbor's kid once. Have you ever thrown a grenade? Yikes, no. Have you ever talked face to face with someone famous before? No. Have you ever owned a rocking horse? I don't think so? If you could meet anyone in the world who would it be? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Have you ever wished you were dead? Yes. Is it awkward when people start talking all deep around you? No, I actually like deep convos. Have you ever played the old school Pac Man arcade game? Possibly? Ever played Mario Karts on Nintendo 64? No. Have you ever been scuba diving? No. Can you surf/boogie board? No. Do you like Chinese food, Mexican food, or American food better? American. What’s your favorite thing to order from Taco Bell? Cheese quesadilla and fiesta potatos. Sometimes I get the cinnabon delight thingies, but I avoid 'em with how unhealthy they are. Do you like hot, cold, or lukewarm showers? Pretty hot. Do you like to swing? I LOVED swinging as a kid. I haven't done it in a very long time now. How about jumping on a trampoline? I loved that as a kiddo, too. I haven't done that in years. What are you favorite color eyes? Sapphire blue or like an emerald green. Do you have long arm hair? Nah, at least I don't think so. What third generation console is your favorite? PS3, Xbox 360, or Wii? I loved my PS3. I'm still so bummed mine broke. How often do you like to have sex? I'm not sexually active, but even when I was, I didn't care. Do you have a facial expression you seem to pull a lot? What is it? Not really. I think I look stoic most of the time. Do you always listen to music when you’re online? No; I usually have a let's play or something like that on that I can split my screen and watch while doing something else. If so, what are you currently listening to? I'm listening to "Love Goes On And On" by Lindsey Stirling and Amy Lee right now. Do you ever forget how to do really simple things? Like what? Yes, like how to control the laundry machine and other things like that. There's just so many options that I never, ever remember what to set it to, no matter how many times Mom shows me. That's how my memory is with most things these days, really... Were you born with naturally straight teeth? No; I needed braces. If you were the opposite gender, what name would you like to be called? Uhhh maybe Severin. Do you prefer original or sour Skittles? I love both, but sour wins. What about chocolate or peanut M&M’s? I also enjoy both, but the original are better. Your favourite band: Do you prefer their old or new stuff? That's like... impossible to answer, lol. I just love everything. Do you check to make sure your ear phones are going in the right ear? No. Do you secretly still listen to Ace of Base? I have no idea who that is. Have you ever broken someone else’s bone? No, thank goodness. I'd feel awful. Is it stupid to think you can write a book at thirteen? No?????????? There are incredibly talented writers out there at young ages. Hell, I remember as a kid, I wanted to be the youngest published author way before that age. Are you ever embarrassed about what you dream about? There've been some I wouldn't share. Have you ever had sex with someone as a favor? No, and I never would. Does your mom let you date? I'm 25, my dude. She let me when I felt ready, though. If you had the last person you kissed’s Facebook password, would you go snooping through their stuff? Why or why not? She doesn't have one, but hypothetically, fuck no. Because that's none of my damn business, and it still wouldn't be even if we were still dating. Have you ever fainted? If so, when was the last time? If not have you ever come close? I've fainted once when I was a teen and have come close many other times. Ever take a keyboarding class? Do you type using the skills you learned in class, or how you used to before you took the class? Yeah; it was mandatory for I think one year in middle school. I type how I was taught in there. Do you find your best friend’s significant other/crush attractive? She doesn't have an s/o, and idk who her "real" crush is, as much as she'd love Frieza to be real, haha. What do you do with your clothes that don’t fit anymore or just don’t want? Donate them. Do you cut out coupons? My mom will keep some fast food ones she gets in the mail sometimes. Did you ever breathe in helium and talk funny afterwards? I think I did once at a birthday party, but I'm unsure. Would you ever open your own business? If so, what kind of business could you imagine yourself having? I want to be a freelance photographer so, so badly. I want to specialize in nature and wildlife, but having a boudoir studio would be great to help keep me afloat, plus I adore the art of boudoir. I've shot it once for an old friend, and by god, I loved how empowered it made her feel, especially as a plus-sized woman. She adored the pictures, and I'd just love to help other clients feel like they're gorgeous in their unique body, too. Last type of candy you ate? I had a donut from Starbuck's yesterday. Did you decorate your house for Halloween? If so, how many decorations? Did you go all out, or just put up a few things? Mom and I don't really decorate anymore. :/

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 256: Fucking Superb You Funky Little Hero Eggs

Previously on BnHA: Aizawa and Mic’s frankensteined best friend Shirakumo, better known to us as Kurogiri, had his memories briefly restored through the Power of Friendship, and was all “YO Y’ALLS BETTER GO CHECK OUT THOSE HOSPITALS” before his head started steaming like a tea kettle and he randomly fell asleep. Aizawa and Mic were all “!!” and Aizawa was all “(ಡ ﹏ ಡ)” and Mic was all “Aizawa are you crying” and Aizawa was like “NO!!!” and then they left the prison and Nao called HPSC Lady who called Hawks and was all “eck-chay ethay ospitals-hay” because Hawks, as you recall, is still a secret agent and all that. Anyway so Hawks was all “EUREKA!!” in his head which doesn’t really add up but hey, and then the chapter ended with Dr. Ujiko dancing in sadistic glee as he watched Tomura get all mad scienced. It was pretty freaky. I could use some wholesomeness right about now so let’s see if this chapter will deliver.

Today on BnHA: Class 1-A shows off the fresh skills they learned during their assorted internships, such as ��determination”, “enhanced search techniques”, and “becoming a literal blob of acid.” The Wonder Trio is a particular highlight, and All Might is all “my little baby off to destroy people :’)” as he watches Deku shred a robot to pieces using Blackwhip. We then cut to Aizawa and Mic, who may or may not be planning some rogue vigilante style investigations of the whole Noumu thing, or maybe they’re just brooding, but either way they’re interrupted by Mirio and Tamaki who come running in to get them to stop Eri’s quirk from going haywire, which, yikes. The chapter then ends with All Might handing Deku a notebook full of DETAILED, CATALOGED INFO ABOUT THE PAST SUCCESSORS AND THE FUCKING SIXQUIRKS. We just have to wait two more weeks to find out what that’s all about. 2020’s got some fucking zip to it so far huh.

so it’s about a quarter past 7 right now and it’ll be a miracle if I can have this recap up by 10pm tonight. surprisingly the wait for this chapter didn’t really bother me, but this Sunday/Monday release schedule is really doing a number on my punctuality. but anyways we’ll figure it out eventually. if memory serves, there’s about a 90% chance that this week’s jump will also be a double issue, so that gives me another extra week to get my shit together lol

(ETA: so that wasn’t too far off actually! I think a three-hour turnaround time isn’t bad for 3000 words lol. and actually it was more like two hours of reading/blogging and one hour of editing/photo cropping. anyway so in all likelihood either Sunday or Monday night releases will become the norm, depending entirely on how busy that particular Sunday is. not quite the same as getting the chapter on Friday and having the whole weekend to ruminate over it but we will adjust!)

anyway, so I’m somehow remarkably unspoiled for this chapter despite it having been out for nearly a week and a half at this point. so that’s something! let’s see what we’ve got here

yaaaay my babies

All Might was offering free cotton candy, yes? I didn’t expect we’d cut right back to this lol, but you sure won’t see me complaining. I want to see what everyone else learned during their internships, and also what with the break and the last couple chapters being Tartarus-focused, it’s been about a month since I last saw my little hero eggs, and of course I missed them I’m only human

omg

did the original dialogue really reference Skynet. Horikoshi truly gives no fucks about copyright. like one or two episodes ago the anime made some copyrighted reference which you could clearly hear in the Japanese but which the English subs hilariously glossed right over. I’m trying to remember what it was now. damn. anyways we millennials can never resist a good pop culture reference, facts

OH MY GOD AOYAMA

THEY’RE EATING THE COTTON CANDY

TOKOYAMI EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE GREATEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020 THUS FAR. LET ME TELL YOU, WE REALLY NEEDED THIS

SHOUTO EATING COTTON CANDY IS THE SECOND BEST THING TO HAPPEN IN 2020. IT WAS VERY CLOSE

I STALLED FOR TIME SO MUCH AND I STILL DON’T KNOW WTF TO SAY ABOUT AOYAMA’S NEW ATTACK OH MY GOD. JUST. I DON’T KNOW YOU GUYS. THIS BOY IS REALLY OUT HERE SLICING ROBOTS IN HALF WITH HIS BRAND NEW LASER PENIS. THE AMOUNT OF FUCKS THAT HORIKOSHI GIVES IS IN THE NEGATIVES I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY

OH ARE YOU STILL GOING

is... what’s... ldkfj okay nothing to see here guys just the naked invisible chick getting all friendly with Aoyama’s beam boner. just manhandling his sparkle shaft. there are children reading this manga. I mean, they’re already mentally scarred from all the dead dogs and child quirk wine and whatnot, but still at what point do we put our goddamn foot down

anyway so somehow she’s redirecting his laser beam?? I guess with her light refracting quirk skills?? great job Hagakure with your help Aoyama can finally shoot lasers at stuff that’s behind him. you’ve mastered the power of making it so that he doesn’t have to turn around great job truly an internship well spent

“now I can yank light and warp it!” you go girl now you can whip that thing around like it’s a fucking fire hose I guess

YOOOOO MINA!!

THIS GIRL LITERALLY COATED HERSELF IN ACID AND DID A FUCKING BARREL ROLL AHHHHHHHHH. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, NO OFFENSE TO CAPTAIN DISCO DONG AND COMMODORE “I CAN DO EVERYTHING A MIRROR CAN DO” BUT THERE ARE UPGRADES AND THERE ARE UPGRADES, AND LET’S FACE IT, THIS IS THE REAL DEAL HERE

AHAHAHA I LOVE ITTTTT

is it too late for Mina to actually change her name to Acidman. what is she calling herself now again?? Pinky?? come on Mina strike some fear into the hearts of your enemies

and now All Might and the others are applauding. I don’t see Shouto’s cotton candy anymore. boy fucking inhaled that shit

oh wow, they interned under Yoroi Musha? if memory serves me, and I’m honestly not going to bother to check right now, isn’t that the samurai dude who somehow beat Ryuukyuu in the billboard charts? not that I’m still salty about that, oh wait I absolutely am but anyways

OH MY

IS THAT SOME KIRIMINA CONTENT UP IN MY PANELS. hot damn that is some cute fucking shit. Mina better not get any undue hate for this. everyone please remain calm this cute interaction does not threaten your ship in any way (unless you want it to in which case have at!!) and we can all have fun if we just play nice you guys

lmao All Might

“WE’RE ALREADY ON PAGE FOUR AND THERE ARE TWENTY OF YOU, WE DON’T HAVE ALL FUCKING DAY CHILDREN”

so Satou and Ojiro learned how to punch harder and stuff. again, it’s fine, we can’t all be Acid Men. but meanwhile they interned with some lion guy named Shishido whom I INSTANTLY LOVE so that’s badass. only one character away from Shishida though, but that’s Horikoshi for you

OH MY GOD

BLAH BLAH YES ENHANCED SEARCH TECHNIQUES ZZZZZ BUT FUCKING LOOK THOUGH AT THE FLASHBACK OF HIM YEETING THEM, YESSSSSS. THE OLD WAYS HAVE NOT YET BEEN FORGOTTEN, GANG ORCA YOU ARE THE HERO WE DESERVE

meanwhile Sero, Kami, and Mineta learned how to literally kill people with their quirks flkdjsflk

(ETA: btw I really love that Mt. Lady’s internship emphasized teamwork. now there’s someone who’s come a really long way her own self. anyway I stan and she had better join the other two in the the top 10 real soon. come on BnHA society get with it.)

damn Mt. Lady what the fuck. “if you guys work together you can suffocate and electrocute villains to death with ease!” the government’s plan really is working huh; these children have become bloodthirsty, ruthless killers in a shockingly short period of time

anyways so Iida as we all recall learned how to be more footloose and fancy free, and meanwhile Kouda learned “smooth communication” from Wash, the literal washing machine man whom I also don’t still harbor a grudge against for inexplicably beating my dragon queen in the hero polls, and once again that is a lie because fuck you Wash! you’re adorable but fuck you!!

man this is taking forever why are there so many kids in this class. for anyone wondering why Horikoshi doesn’t focus on class 1-A as a whole more often and leaves them as supporting characters, this right here is why. I love these children to death but we would still be stuck in the basement arc. oh my god I just shuddered

Tokoyami mastered “improvement on all fronts” because I guess he kind of peaked at flying when it came to new moves huh. that’s fine for now

and Kiri mastered “making baddies lose the will to fight real quick” which sounds like some bullshit you’d write while desperately trying to pad your hero resume, except that it’s accompanied by this convincing panel of him chomping a steel bar in two or some shit which YIKES

can confirm, if some demonic rock man came trotting up to me and snapped off some railing from some stairs and fucking snapped it like a twig with his GIANT FOSSILIZED DINOSAUR TEETH, I’d lose my will to fight pretty quickly too

and Ochako and Tsuyu learned “determination” smdh. Horikoshi did you fucking fall asleep towards the end of this segment or what

WHO IS MAJESTIC OMG

excuse me did she just create a bunch of fucking dynamites. is that what those are. is my girl encroaching on my young son’s turf. because if she is, ENCROACH, MOMO, ENCROACH! FEEL FREE TO FUCKING IMPINGE, EVEN!! god, and I know I was bitching just a moment ago about these “lessons” becoming increasingly vague and intangible and motivational poster-y, but I read Momo and “predicting and acting efficiently”, and my thoughts immediately ran to Nighteye and Mirio’s fighting styles, and I was like “YESSSSSSSSS” because, I mean. YES, though

meanwhile Kacchan has learned...

this fucking -- I swear -- YOU LEARNED WHAT YOUR FUCKING HERO NAME IS GOING TO BE YOU TROLLING PIECE OF SHIT. oh my god. Katsuki I swear to god I will take your internet privileges. NO SRIRACHA FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS

oh for fuck’s sakes

don’t mind him he learned boom with five b’s and three oo’s what did you all do this week. and somehow Todoroki learned how to be even more fabulous

so All Might’s looking on in pride and giving Endeavor some mental props, and waiting for Deku to go do his thing too

sdfkj he’s thinking about the day he gave Deku THE HAIR and that “[it] feels like ancient history now.” DOESN’T IT THOUGH?

OH MY FEELS

“you don’t look back at me anymore... and you don’t need to.” oh Aizawa’s dry eye has spread to me now huh. must be those January allergies. and that’s some nice bloop there kid. great jorb

someone tell All Might he’s not allowed to look on at Deku with this much fatherly love without giving me at least a week’s notice in advance

sigh. now you’ve done it you two I’m going to become a big cat blob of feels right here and it’s all on you. you did this

oh my god a whole big panel of reactions from the other kids and I’m ( ˊᵕˋ )

lol Kacchan can’t agree with anything even if it’s a compliment. and lmao, who the fuck was that who was all “TODOROKI FINALLY YOU’RE A FAST FUCKING HIMBO HUH!” like they really went and put that “finally” in there, like they were so fucking tired of Todoroki Shouto and his LANGUID FUCKING PACE all the fucking time, GOD, FINALLY SOME SPEED BOY WE WERE DYING OUT HERE

Mineta being happy for Deku also warms my heart, ngl. we’ve gone almost an entire chapter with Mineta not doing anything even remotely perverted, can it be, has Horikoshi finally chilled the fuck out. or did I just jinx it we shall see

also love how Deku is just reduced to an inkblot here and it still is him beyond any shadow of a doubt. and poor Sero, you are also being impinged on huh

lmao Mineta’s just socking Deku in the solar plexus out of comradery and Deku’s fucking vomiting on reflex and not even paying the slightest attention wtf

I love this panel there I said it

so he’s going over and thanking Ochako for “that time” and says he’s using Blackwhip a lot better now. I assume he’s referring to when he first unlocked it and went hog wild and she was all “smh” and went and hugged him to put an end to that nonsense

oh, right!!!!

I forgot about those!! looool Horikoshi’s 2020 resolution is to make everyone Spider-Man now huh. hey everyone guess what I LOVE THIS

oh my god this wholesomeness

I fucking can’t?? yo I’m seriously living for this? I don’t get why some people think Deku inhibits Ochako’s character growth tbh. or that her story is becoming all about him. if it is, then it’s in the same way that Bakugou’s is. Deku keeps inspiring her to be better, ain’t nothing wrong with that. yes she has the crush, and she’s honest with herself and in tune with her emotions enough to be aware of it and to acknowledge it, but she refuses to be distracted by it. I actually really like that, because it shows that romantic feelings can actually exist and not be the central focus of a character’s story or their development. and I think the fear is that it somehow will become the focus, but so far I haven’t seen that happening, so it seems unwarranted to me

anyway

shit’s cute

oh no Mineta’s doing something weird I fucking did jinx it I’m sorry guys. it’s a fucking fistbump dude relax

so All Might seems to be dismissing them now, and he’s saying something about how he reordered (?? rescheduled, maybe??) class so that Aizawa can watch later. that’s nice. he’ll need something to cheer him up, and if Acidman can’t do the trick I don’t know what can

and now we’re cutting back to the dorms!! dorm shenanigans yessssss

oh no shit wait

these are not playful dorm shenanigans these are depressed Miczawa shenanigans to bring me down. nnnn

but Aizawa fucking knows something is up now, shit. that’s right son your babies are in danger

KLJKLGLKSH

okay (1) HOW HOT IS AIZAWA THOUGH HOW DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

and (2) is “have a karaoke contest” code for “fuck shit up” or what. son of a bitch, having these two so personally invested in the Noumu arc now is such an unexpected and wonderful gift

MIRIO NO

(ETA: but you all know Aizawa was about to say “I’d go and fuck shit up” though.)

I LOVE YOU BOTH BUT THEY WERE HAVING A SEXY ANGSTING MOMENT, MIRIO CAN YOU NOT READ THE ROOM!! DO YOU NOT SEE THEM BEING ALL ANGSTY AND DARKLY CONTEMPLATIVE!! YOU TWO OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW WHEN LOVERS ARE BONDING OVER THEIR ANGST WHICH ONLY THE TWO OF THEM UNDERSTAND! FUCKING GODDAMN

NO!!!!!

[SLAMS HANDS ON TABLE] HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU LAY ONE FINGER ON HER PRECIOUS HEAD

NOOOO MY SWEET BABY GIRL

oh my fuck that sweater is the cutest fucking thing and this girl has had no shortage of cute outfits let me tell you. BUT ANYWAY SHE’S SCARED AND CRYING NOOOO. holy shit her horn is fucking huge now I don’t feel comfortable with this at all, and Nejire is Best Mom for not giving a single fuck and holding and comforting her regardless of the risk, I love her so much

OH THANK GOD

PALPABLE RELIEF. boys I’m sorry it was wrong of me to yell, you did the right thing interrupting their sexy brooding

BREAK ROOM AHHHHH THE SCOOBY SQUAD LIVES AGAINNNN

it means you constantly amaze him!! you have so much potential he doesn’t even know what the limit might possibly be! don’t act like you don’t love it. or stop being so suspicious and trying to look for the hidden meaning and just accept the praise for what it is. you did good. now ask him if he’s heard any news about Best Jeanist :/

!!

that’s right, he was researching and making faces a while back, are we finally gonna find out what all that was about??

DSLFKAJSLDKFH

HE MADE A NOTEBOOK FOR HIM AHHHHHHHH HE KNOWS WHAT HE LIKES THIS IS AMAZING

DOES HIM GIVING HIM THE INFO IN NOTEBOOK FORM MEAN IT’S UP TO DEKU WHETHER OR NOT HE WANTS TO SHARE THIS INFO WITH KACCHAN. HMMM. OBVIOUSLY HE WILL, BUT THAT’S A REAL POWER MOVE THOUGH, DAMN

“PAST SUCCESSORS / QUIRKS” EVERYONE, THIS BOOK CONTAINS THE SECRETS OF THE SIXQUIRKS. AND THE PREVIOUS OFA AVATARS. THAT’S FINE I’M JUST GONNA. ...I’LL BE FINE. FOR TWO WEEKS. FUCK

shit. well I know it was coming, that’s another reason why I didn’t feel particularly rushed to read this chapter lol. I kinda wish I’d had the foresight to save the Korean scanlation though, just to compare. ah well it’s probably still lying around somewhere

and lol and here’s the bonus page, and this one I did see floating around tumblr haha

I’m not sure how the three smartest kids in class are all present and yet not one of them had the foresight to consider that maybe, just maybe, this could be a bad idea. let’s let the kid with the combustible sweat handle the mochi I’m sure it’ll be -- [everyone immediately dies]. anyway so that’s some good friendly advice from Horikoshi there. happy new year friends!

[fand0mfancies]

Came across this on Tumblr a few days ago, it amused me for a couple of hours or more, filling it in, while watching QI.

 Fandom Questions

 1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Star Trek: Voyager, I suppose at least for reading. Started writing with Stargate SG-1.

 2. What is your latest fandom?

I dip in and out of lots of fandoms on and off, the most recent ‘pick up’ is Ballam from Eastenders, I don’t watch soaps, but Robron and Ballam both appear a good bit on my tumblr, so I eventually gave in to checking them out via fic and youtube – thank god for youtube, lol! I still don’t watch soaps, but I watch those storylines!

 3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Gosh, that’s... actually no that’s really easy. Primeval. For anyone not familiar, it’s a ‘silly little dinosaur show’ produced in the UK. It had 4 short seasons, with a somewhat revolving main cast – although they managed to keep 3 of them through all 4 seasons – but the fandom was/is amazing. I made life long friends through the fandom and even though I don’t write much any more I still read some and still talk with those people.

 4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I would say no. I can’t say every fandom has always been amazing – ship wars anyone! – but mostly fandom has been a very positive experience in my life.

 5. Which fandoms have your written fanfiction for?

How long have you got... in genuinely no particular order (basically as they came to me) Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, Star Trek (TNG, DS9, Voy, Ent & Reboot Movies), Marvel, Kingsman, Person of Interest, Due South, Quantum Leap, Firefly, Buffy/Angel verse, Harry Potter, The Sentinel, Torchwood(/Doctor Who), Hawaii Five-0, Shadowhunters, Sherlock, Primeval, Emmerdale (Robron), NCIS, CSI (Vegas, NY & Miami), White Collar, Empire Records, Bull, Diagnosis Murder, MacGyver (the original), 1-800-Missing, CHAOS, Without a Trace, M*A*S*H, Charmed, Queer as Folk (US), Will & Grace, Bring it On, Nash Bridges, Magnificent 7 (TV series), House, Babylon 5 – I think I got them all... a few of those were one time only deals, but a lot of them have more (anywhere from 2-52 (or more still!) ranging from 100 word drabbles, to thousands of words – hey I’ve been writing fic for 21 years... you tend to amass a lot of fandoms...

 6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Oh geez, here we go, lol! Okay...

 Stargate SG-1: Jack O’Neill/Daniel Jackson

Stargate Atlantis: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard

Star Trek: Elim Garak/Julian Bashir, Chakotay/Tom Paris, Jonathan Archer/Malcolm Reed, James Kirk/Spock – I don’t particularly have an ‘otp’ in TNG, the couple I’ve written were Picard/Data, I’ve also dabbled reading Data/Gordi)

Marvel: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Kingsman: Harry Hart/Eggsy Unwin

Person of Interest: Harold Finch/John Reese

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray K

Quantum Leap: Sam/Al

Firefly: Malcolm Reynolds/Simon Tam

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Giles, Angel/Spike, Xander/Spike, Willow/Tara

Harry Potter: Harry/Draco, Harry/Hermione, Harry/Hermione/Draco

The Sentinel: Jim/Blair

Torchwood: Jack/Ianto

Hawaii Five-O: Steve/Danno

Shadowhunters: Magnus/Alec

Sherlock: Sherlock/John, Mycroft/Lestrade

Primeval: Nick Cutter/Stephen Hart, James Lester/Hilary Becker Emmerdale: Robert Sugden/Aaron Dingle

NCIS: Gibbs/DiNozzo CSI: Nick Stokes/David Hodges, Mac/Danny, Horatio/Speed White Collar: Neal/Peter/Elizabeth

Empire Records: Joe/Lucas

Bull: Benny/Jason

Diagnosis Murder: Steve/Jesse

 I’ve left a few out where I don’t have particular OTPs

 7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

Here we go again... lol!

 Stargate SG-1: Jack/Sam, I just... no. I’ve read a few where it’s a background or secondary pairing, but it always makes me wince a bit. I’ve read a few with Sam/Daniel as a secondary pairing that didn’t make me react that way and I’ve read Sam with other characters, but Jack/Sam just is a nope for me.

Stargate Atlantis: McKay/Keller – no, just no. that was horrible. She treated him like... awfully, trying to change him to suit her, just... no.

Marvel: Contentious, but Tony/Pepper, also Peter Parker/Tony Stark. Maybe because I saw the movies before I ever looked at the comics, but meh.

Due South: Benton Fraser/Ray V – again, contentious, but honestly I think Ray V was kind of a shit friend to Fraser.

Firefly: Anything with Jayne. No really, I just can not stand the character. I spent most of the series wanting to punch him in the face and sometimes you get characters you love to hate, but I just hated him.

Buffy/Angel Verse: Buffy/Spike, Willow/Kennedy

Harry Potter: Ron/Hermione, Ron/Harry, Harry/Ginny... basically, Ron and Ginny should just be loveless hermits who live by themselves. Ok, no, that isn’t fair... but as much as Ron was Harry’s first friend, he was selfish and bitter and Ginny/Harry just... never sat right with me. Ron literally says she spent ‘all summer talking about’ Harry, when she’d met him for all of three seconds. She didn’t know him. It always felt like she fell more in love with the *idea* of Harry Potter, than Harry Potter himself.

Sherlock: Sherlock/Molly, he’d eat her for breakfast. Serious, she’d never survive him.

Primeval: Oliver Leek and anyway. Arg. Creepy little dude is creepy and evil.

NCIS: Ziva/DiNozzo – ugh, just no.

 Again, I’ve left out ones where I don’t have particular NoTPs

 8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Tumblr, god damned bitches posting gifs of pretty boys falling in love, roped me in!

 9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

I dabble in several fandoms at once... but if we go by ‘most recently picked up’ as ‘current’ we’re talking Ballum, which hey, it’s always fun to have an actual canon pairing be my OTP, that’s rare for me, lol.

 10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Well (so far) I haven’t written any Ballum. (I say so far, because I’m a realist, lol). I rarely read in fandoms and not end up writing in them at some point. Although I have probably dabbled in a few I’ve not written for, but if I read it with any sort of consistency, I mostly end up writing it. I am weak!

  Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

 11. Who is your current OTP?

Okay, so that list above, just basically go with that. While I do drop in and hour of fandoms and some I certainly read in more than others, I do tend to go back to fandoms... If we were talking about what I’m mostly focused on writing atm... Steve/Tony, Mycroft/Lestrade, Harry/Draco and Robron are ones I’m currently working on most.

 12. Who is your current OT3?

I’m not currently writing anything that’s OT3 with any real focus. I have a couple of Neal/Peter/Elizabeth WiPs that I will at some point finish, but they aren’t a big focus just now. I did recently read a fabulous Neal/Peter/Elizabeth fic that’s been on my tbr list for ages.

 13. Any NoTPs?

Just... see above, lol!

 14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Harry Hart/Merlin, those two are Bro’s until the end and I will fight you on this. Also, Eggsy/Roxy! OMG they are such a BroTP! And Tony/Pepper/Rhodey – I may no like Tony/Pepper as a pairing, but I love them as best friends and of course, our Rhodes, because again, I will fight you on this, they are awesome and Tony needs his best friends!

 15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

I’m not sure there is. I suppose I’ve read a few fics for some random pairings over the years, but nothing that’s made me really ship-ship them. I like Clint Barton/Bucky Barnes, after seeing it as a secondary pairing in a Steve/Tony fic, but I’ve seen that pop up a few times since, so maybe it won’t stay obscure for long!

 16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Jack/Sam, Tony/Pepper, Ron/Hermione, Harry/Ginny, Buffy/Spike – they all seem to be het pairings, oops. But I am mostly a slash fic reader/writer, so I suppose that’s not too surprising.

 17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Jack/Daniel from Stargate SG-1. I still love them. I still read them, although it has been a while since I’ve written them on their own (I have got some SG-1/SGA x-overs where they feature)

 18. What ship have you written the most about?

I’m genuinely not sure... without going and counting (and I’m not going any counting!) I’d guess Jack/Daniel, McKay/Sheppard, Jack/Ianto and Steve/Danno.

 19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

No, not that I can think off. I either like it or not. I do occasionally feel bad for not reading a fic if it’s an author I really like, but I don’t read that fandom or pairing, but nothing specific.

 20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Robron and Ballum, lol. I do not do soaps!

  Author Questions

 21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

 Stargate SG-1, Jack/Daniel, a story called The Dare, The Disaster, The Almost Happy Ending, And The Very Happy Ending – it was awful. Don’t go looking, lol!

 22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Don’t we all? No, I wouldn’t specifically say so. There are certainly fics, especially older ones, I wish I could have written better, but nothing I’d go, ugh I should never have done that.

 23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Uh... honestly that’s really hard. I... um... yeah, I don’t know, really. I wrote a nice little flower one in POI that I felt worked rather beautifully. The Language of Flowers. An I wrote an SGA fic for NaNo a few years ago, called A Different Life, but it’s not online, because I didn’t finish it yet and I knew I wasn’t going to finish it any time soon, so I didn’t feel it was fair to leave it up unfinished (there is a reason I don’t read WiP fics and I don’t post them either, because I know how much I hate unfinished WiPs) Edit: After writing this I reminded myself of a POI fic I wrote called Hours of Separation – It’s a Harold/John break up story that I always intended to write a sequel too where I ‘fixed’ them, but I just couldn’t do it. I broke them a little too well. But I really love it actually.

 24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

The afore mentioned A Different Life needs to be edited and finished, lol! Also a Primeval fic with the working title Crypt Keeper (don’t ask) that I worked myself into a bit of a corner on and I figure out how to fix it, but I haven’t done it yet, so it’s still needs fixing and finishing, lol!

 25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

I haven’t the foggiest.

 26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

Sometimes, really easily, a quote, a line from the fic, a song title... other times it’s like pulling teeth, hence working titles on things like ‘crypt keeper’ which is a reference to one scene near the very start and has no actual hint of the plot, lol!

 27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Oh the titles. Summaries you can just copy a few lines from the fic if you are desperate, if you had to post ‘untitled mcshep fic #67’ people would get cranky, lol, hell I’d get cranky!

 28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Oh... I... huh. I mean who wouldn’t love fanart for their stories? Any of them honestly! But if I had to choose just one... I guess something in my Animal Instinct verse, which is Primeval (although I always intended to write other fandoms in the verse) where some people transform into animals, based on their ‘spirit animal’ and some art of the characters with their spirit animal form would be awesome.

 29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

Sometimes, look if you’ve read this far, you know I write in a lot of fandoms, lol. In some fandoms it’s easier than others to find beta readers. Also, sometimes if it’s just something short, I won’t bother. But I do try for my longer fics.

 30. What inspires you to write?

That old adage, if you want to read it, sometimes you just have to write it? Spite? Boredom? Honestly sometimes I just have ideas I have to get out of my brain and it’s write or go mad(der)

 31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

That it inspired them to write something.

 32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

Sometimes, sometimes I find it distracting when writing because I end up singing along and forgetting what I’m writing, lol! I do sometimes get inspiration from songs, I guess mostly from the lyrics, but no particular band or genre – although I listen to a lot of country music!

 33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

Little from column a, little from column b... littler still from column c...

 34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

Around 60k, I think.

 35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have. Primeval had/has a week drabble challenge, mostly when I’ve written drabbles it’s been for a challenge, with a specific prompt.

 36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Uh... I mean, my fandoms really span the genres, but I guess sci-fi or crime are probably my favourites.

 37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

Third mostly, I have occasionally written in first person, if it felt like the fic needed it.

 38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

Little from column a, little from column b... it depends on the fandom and the story. Sometimes you just need more characters, mostly they are minor roles, I don’t tend to write much established character/oc fic

 39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Ability to convince myself people will want to read it, lol! No actually to be honest, I love to know people read and like my stuff, but I gave up a long time ago on trying to ‘please’ people with what I write. I write what I want to read.

 40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Focus. The problem with 21 years of fandom history, is well... 21 years of fandom history. A lot of fandoms, a lot of pairings and as I say, I never really ‘leave’ a fandom, I just drop in and out and sometimes that means I’ll write on something consistently for weeks or months and then end up getting distracted by another fandom again and not touch it for weeks or months again. Hence, I don’t post WiP fics, because I know I’m easily distracted and don’t want anyone to suffer my lack of focus but me.

  Fanfiction Questions

 41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

I don’t read WiP fics, so yeah... but 5 I’ve recently read in different fandoms that I’ve really enjoyed

 Turns Out, I Have a Rose Garden by betheflame (Steve Rogers/Tony Stark)

Lucky by china_shop (Neal Caffery/Peter Burke/Elizabeth Burke)

Colors by Quesarasara (Sherlock/John)

Betrayal by Blackghost7 (Gibbs/DiNozzo)

Matchmaker (Part 1 of the Marmalade Series) by HastaLux, Mottlemoth (Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade)

 42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

See now this is hard, because... ahh so many...

 FredBassett – Primeval author, her Stephen/Ryan series is epic and brilliant and endless

https://archiveofourown.org/users/fredbassett/pseuds/fredbassett

 Keira Marcos – I know other people will have said her, I don’t care. I love all her stuff, across all the fandoms she writes in

http://keiramarcos.com/

 theapplepielifestyle – her Steve/Tony is amazing. Hands down some of the best I’ve ever read. I will fight you on this.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/theappleppielifestyle/pseuds/theappleppielifestyle

 JillyJames – her Tony DiNozzo is a real life grown up... exactly as he should be considered given he’s a goddamn federal agent!

https://jillyjames.com/

 missbecky – I’ve read pretty much all her Steve/Tony and Harry/Eggsy and it’s awesome.

https://archiveofourown.org/users/missbecky

 Honestly, I could have listed so many more, but, I’m being good!

 43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

Everyone. The thing is, fandom at it’s best is like crack, the more you get, the more you want. The writing, the gifs, the art... it feeds you and makes you want to make more of it, because more of it needs to exist and if that means you need to do it yourself, so be it!

 44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

ALL OF THEM!

 45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

Oh hell no, not even, I can not. It took me an hour to narrow down 5 authors, I can not narrow down one fanfic!

 46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

I mean, it depends on what they like... probably the Hour of Separation I mentioned above, if they like the fandom/pairing, or my Animal Instinct stuff.

 47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

Archive of our Own. I haven’t touched ff.net in *years* since they started getting super restrictive about what you could post. I do occasionally post stuff to tumblr, but mostly I now post to AO3. I did have my own site and I’ve yet to upload a lot of stuff to AO3 – one of these... months... that will be a project – but it’s amazing. Seriously, having been in fandom 20+ years, going from having to search all over a million different places and now it’s all in one place, where we’re honestly, spoiled and protected. The kids now have no idea how crazy impossible that once seemed.

 48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

Yes, but not as often as I should. I love AO3s kudos button, so I can sort of say ‘hey I enjoyed this’ without having to comment, because I sort of hate leaving comments just going ‘hey I enjoyed this’ because I always feel like I should say more, like, oh I enjoyed this specific thing, which yes is an unnecessary hang-up, but there ya go.

 49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

Of course it’s nice to get comments, kudos, reblogs etc. I’m not as attached to them now as I was when I was younger, because I learned along the way that it was more important that I like what I’m writing than that other people do, but it’s still nice to know that something I’ve created is enjoyed.

 50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I went looking for Star Trek Voyager stuff online, pics etc, waaaaaaay back when! And I came across fanfiction entirely by accident... and I read some – het stuff mostly, then I started watching Stargate SG-1, went looking for fanfiction for that, but was not on board with Jack/Sam, found Jack/Daniel went ‘huh really? That’s weird’ read it... and yeah... 21 years later... lol!

 51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Ship Wars. No seriously, just don’t. Like, who the actual fuck cares. I like my ship, you like your ship. I don’t care if it’s canon or not. I don’t care if it’s popular or not. I don’t read my NoTPs, but I’d never dream of telling someone else not too. Yes I think they are terrible, bad, no good pairings, but that’s *my* opinion. Don’t try to change my mind and I won’t try to change yours. I avoid them like the actual plague. If someone starts that shit around me, I will shut it right down. You are a dick. Go to Jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect £200.

[being-worthy]

The Last of Us Part II – Adding my two cents to the game

Just so we’re clear, let’s establish a few things first:

MAJOR TLOU II SPOILERS AHEAD!!

I also spoiled myself ahead because I needed to know what would happen to Joel and Ellie… and the ending as well.

I’ve played the first one. I liked how it ended and totally support the ending!

I haven’t played the 2nd part but I’m watching the playthrough on YouTube in small doses. My heart can’t take much of it at once lol (and being poor and paying of debt for a loved one is no fun because I don’t have much money to spend on myself).

Right now, I’m at the part where Joel goes with Ellie to the museum for her birthday – it’s so cute and fatherly and my heart can’t take how bittersweet this is …

The 2nd part was rushed and has some bugs that could’ve been avoided, whether you like it or not. That’s a fact and we’re here for the facts not the truth (if you want the truth join a philosophy course).

The parts with Abby are too long, more than what they should’ve been and her vengeance is 💩.

English is not being my first language but I do my best (that’s all I can do).

I’m listening to Bryan Adams and Richard Max while writing this because I’m still not over Joel…

You may voice your opinion but remember this is my space! Be respectful at all times and absolute no hate here!

The first part ended with Joel bringing an unconscious Ellie to the hospital where the last Fireflies are, she almost drowned and he had to perform CPR on her. He’s rendered unconscious too and wakes up on a hospital bed with Marlene and Ethan (the guy who hit Joel in the head with the butt of his rifle) in the room.

That’s when he starts asking where Ellie is and Marlene informs him that she’s not his problem anymore and being prepped for surgery. Here, we need to note the following things: Marlene had sworn to Ellie’s mother to protect and to keep her from harm’s way but TAKES the decision to practically sentence her to death and yeah, she gives a speech that it’s not easy for her either yada yada yada but it’s all bs. The reason why is because:

a)     making a decision refers more to the process and is something that takes time, while taking a decision is the act of deciding something that happens in an instant. Ultimately, Marlene decides for HER!! What about ‘my body, my decision’? Or in this case ‘her body, her decision’? It doesn’t matter if it’s related to an abortion or having your skull opened, the same principle should be applied!

She even says to Joel ‘because this isn’t about me. Or even her. There is no other choice here’. – Firstly, there’s always another choice! Secondly, Joel replies to her saying ‘yeah, you keep telling yourself that bullshit’ and he’s right, it’s total and utter bullshit. Even later on, when he’s carrying Ellie into the parking lot (I believe it was a parking lot), he tells her ‘that ain’t for you to decide’. Again, he’s right. It isn’t Marlene’s decision nor his but Ellie is still unconscious, so what do you want to do? Let them butcher her open? He crossed with her through half the country and ended up caring profoundly for her – she became like a daughter to him. He doesn’t have an on and off switch to turn off his feelings towards Ellie. Moreover, do tell me, if you’d like a doctor or someone else TAKE such a decision for you, instead of waiting for you to wake up and then tell you about the procedure and what this will entail. I get freaking furious whenever someone takes a decision for me or without asking me first.

b)     Neither she nor the doctor wait for Ellie to regain consciousness and since she’s unconscious, they see it as the perfect importunity to just go ahead and rummage in her brain to see if there’s something that could help them developing a vaccine or a cure.

c)     That’s another thing. They had zero guarantees, not even a 0.1 percentage of probability that they’d find something – nothing, nada, zilch. Just a hunch and maybe in an apocalyptic world for some people this might be enough but then why not wait until she wakes up and tell her ‘we don’t know for sure if your immunity will help us finding a cure or a vaccine. So that’s why we need to open your skull and see what makes you immune which ultimately, will kill you’ (in some nicer words though lol). Because they know she might not fully agree with it and they give a sh*t about what she thinks/wants and have that narrow military/cult mindset of ‘a sacrifice for the greater good’ and/or wouldn’t care either way because she’s a kid. I’m no fan of sacrificing one or a dozen people to save billions. If we can’t save them all or at least try our damn hardest, then we’re doing something terribly wrong! Also, she’s a freaking kid!! She hasn’t seen much and has her whole life ahead, doesn’t matter if it’s in the apocalypse. The thought that they’re willing to sacrifice her, a kid, without batting an eye shows me that all Fireflies are terrorists.

d)     Now to the doctor (the one with the scalpel) – according to the internet this guy was Abby’s father and his murder was why she tortured and slaughtered Joel. First things first, every doctor has to take on a Hippocratic oath. There are many different variations but they all come from an old one that states the following:

… I will apply dietetic measures for the benefit of the sick according to my ability and judgment; I will keep them from harm and injustice.

I will neither give a deadly drug to anybody if asked for it, nor will I make a suggestion to this effect. Similarly, I will not give to a woman an abortive remedy. In purity and holiness, I will guard my life and my art.

I will not use the knife, not even on sufferers from stone, but will withdraw in favour of such men as are engaged in this work.

Whatever houses I may visit, I will come for the benefit of the sick, remaining free of all intentional injustice, of all mischief and in particular of sexual relations with both female and male persons, be they free or slaves.

… If I fulfil this oath and do not violate it, may it be granted to me to enjoy life and art, being honoured with fame among all men for all time to come; if I transgress it and swear falsely, may the opposite of all this be my lot.

The doctor doesn’t keep her from harm or injustice, he isn’t even there for her well-being, only to see how her brain ticks. So, that immense violation of his oath doesn’t make him a doctor anymore but a BUTCHER and don’t come to me with ‘but it’s the apocalypse or it’s for the greater good blah blah blah’, then how better are we compared to rapists and people who murder out of fun? If we throw our principles out of the window just because it’s the apocalypse and/or it’s for the greater good, then with all due respect we all should just go ahead and jump from a building and burn in hell.

e)     I got to the part where Joel and Ellie went to the museum for her birthday and at the end there’s a graffiti that says ‘liars’ with the fireflies’ symbol above. Even at the end, their own members saw that they Fireflies were only a bunch full of hot air and nothing else. They ended up being terrorists and forgot what they once stood and fought for.

So, taking all this into consideration - who wouldn’t have saved her? And yes, Joel saves her out of selfishness, so what? True, that he didn’t tell her the truth either, but can you resent him for this? He’d have to tell her that Marlene betrayed her, betrayed her trust and her mother’s trust in her and was willing to let her die and let her body being violated (rape is not the only way to violate someone’s body – FYI). This would have impacted Ellie’s state of mind too. She’d have ended up resenting Marlene and the Fireflies or worse. She had gone through so much already and didn’t need more on her plate. So, he spared her that betrayal and resentment.

Now let’s talk a bit more about Joel. Joel is no saint or hero but no villain either. He’s just a man who was willing to doom the whole already-damned world to protect the girl he adopted. He does what he needs in order to survive but within some reason and hasn’t lost his humanity (it’s just deeply hidden in him), he’s a person trying to survive. He tortures people - yes, but only to get information and makes sure to end them quickly afterwards. I agree that one of the main things you’ve to do during such times, is to adapt or you’ll die or worse. In the 1st part he’s rough, tough, strong, stubborn, resilient, experienced in the world he lives in and wary of strangers (just remember that scene on the highway with the stranger pretending to be hurt and Joel knew from the moment he saw him that it was a trap), someone you don’t want to mess with, etc. On the other hand, there’s this other side of him where he teaches Ellie to swim, tries to joke with her, to play the guitar, takes her to beautiful places, he takes her to a museum with dinosaurs and stuff from space, that proves he’s capable for carrying deeply for someone, in this case Ellie, and don’t get me started on the gift he gives her when they’re in the space capsule (!!), and so on. Ellie and Joel have this great dynamic. Then in the 2nd part, they made him to be so trustworthy toward a young unknown girl, tells her even their REAL names, like he literally says ‘my name’s Joel and that’s my brother Tommy. We live further down’. Dude, why don’t you just go walking around with a banner around your neck stating who you are to the whole freaking world. At some point he even said the name of their home (Jackson)!’ - WHAT THE HOLY F*CK?! He even offered her to go with them and take her to their home and give her supplies. Then, even BLINDLY and WITHOUT ANY WARINESS follows her to a place with an unknown sized group, where he and Tommy don’t know anyone - HOLY FREAKING HELL?! It’s not like it could be a trap, I mean it’s completely normal that there are many survivors camping up in the mountains in the middle of a snow blizzard, it’s the perfect season for doing that ¬¬. We’re living in times were everyone is kind to each other… I just don’t get it. This behaviour change is too radical and old habits die hard, especially ones acquired and used for decades!! That’s a big flaw from Naughty Dog regarding Joel. They portrayed him as someone stupid (sorry Joel but it’s true), sloppy, too soft, etc. He’s older and fatherlier with Ellie all fine and good, but he’d still be very cautious toward outsiders, particularly when they outnumber him!! It’s true that at some point we’ll have to be more trustworthy toward others in order to try and reestablish society or something close to it but you’d still be wary and wouldn’t take them right to your home first thing!! I had also into consideration that they were being chased by a horde of runners and clickers and their options where limited but still!

In some games the death of an important and primary character is sometimes essential. TLOU II is one of them because this was necessary for Ellie to grown and learn more about herself, the world she lives in, among others but Joel deserved way better than what he got! I feel for Tommy too, he didn’t deserve to split up with Maria or lose an eye but I believe the reason as to why he became obsessed with avenging Joel was because he already thinks he failed him in the past already, either when Sarah died, or when he joined the Fireflies and Joel wasn’t happy about it, or when they blindly trusted Abby and her friends.

Before I start with Abby, we need to establish something else first: revenge is about retaliation; justice is about restoring balance. The motive of revenge has mostly to do with expressing rage, hatred, or spite. It’s a protest or payback, and its foremost intent is to harm. And because it’s so impassioned, it’s typically disproportionate to the original injury—meaning that it usually can’t be viewed as just. The punishment may fit the crime, but it’s often an exaggerated response to another’s perceived offense. Nevertheless, I do believe that justice comes from vengeance but that type of justice only breeds more vengeance, and this is what Abby essentially does, avenge her father (even though I believe he lost his way and became unscrupulous) and ends up being capable to live with herself with little to no trouble after what she did to Joel, after repeatedly hitting him over and over and over again with a golf club, and forcing Ellie to watch the last bit. Abby and a bunch of others, who were also aware of her secretive plans, travel thousands of miles just to find Joel and brutalise him and massacre him. That scene was really brutal. But at some point both Abby and Ellie have to realise that vengeance is not the answer and if everyone keeps coming back seeking vengeance, then they’ll move around in a vicious circle until someone decides to forgive because killing like this not only hurts themselves, but also those they love and love them.

I don’t see the WLF as a whole as someone who deserves sympathy. They’re quite similar to the Fireflies who maybe at some point had noble goals (or almost) but ended up strayed from their path. They loot and kill everyone they see, no questions asked (much like the police these days in our world), even if they’re just passing by and aren’t affiliated to any group and just want to survive.

The ending of TLOU II couldn’t have been better. Ellie was happy with Dina and the baby but deep down she knew she didn’t close the chapter with Joel’s murder. Abby, and knew that at some point, she’d have to revisit that part to close it entirely. Her leaving with Tommy was the right decision, even if Dina wouldn’t/couldn’t fully understand why and I feel sad for Maria too but I strongly believe that she’ll return - whether or not Dina will wait for her is another story.

This is all I’ve to add. I’ve been sitting her for about 5+ hours writing this because I wanted to put my perspective of this masterpiece out there and show people that the game is still great.

Let me know your thoughts!!

[arya-skywalker]

Behind the Mask

Deceit College AU Part 3

Dee glanced from his phone to the number on the door and back then his phone, refreshing the page with his schedule. Yes, this was the right room. Yes, this was the right day. Yes, class started in four minutes.

He sighed and entered the room, picking a seat close to the door, second row from the front. Hopefully someone short would sit in front of him. He took out his laptop and opened up a few tabs— one for social media, one for email, one for the school homepage, one for taking notes, arranging it so the notes would take up half the page. A few other students wandered in, but he ignored them for the time being.

Until someone just had to burst through inside with enough force to slam the door against the wall. “I brought Starbucks!” Remy announced, setting a couple trays of coffee on the table before digging out a crumpled bag of pastries. “Enjoy, babes! Happy first day of class. Maybe sure prof-dude knows it was me who brought it, no strings attached.” He flashed a grin and plopped down in the chair next to Dee. “Oh hai! Didn’t know you were in this class, Dee. But there’s a caramel cappuccino with your name on it— extra cream, hold the sugar, three squirts of caramel, two shots of vanilla, and java chips on top,” he said with a wink, slurping his own drink through the straw.

“If you didn’t know I was in the class, why bother with that specific drink?” Dee rolled his eyes, but got up to grab the coffee before anyone else could steal it. After peeking into the bag of sweets, he picked out a vanilla scone and returned to his seat. “Bribing your way to victory again? You know it never works.”

“Nu-uh! It worked that one time,” Remy countered. “In first year experience.”

“Oh please. That class is a joke! All you do is talk about feelings and watch tutorials on technology everyone already knows how to use.” Dee sipped at his drink and nibbled at the scone, careful not to make a mess.

Before Remy could argue further, the professor entered and started fiddling with the projector. “Good morning, class. While I wrestle this dinosaur into submission, please take out a device capable of accessing the internet and go to the link I emailed you all last night. If you did not receive said email, please speak now.”

“Professor Logan, Sir! I brought breakfast,” Remy boasted.

Logan blinked and looked at the table, seeming to notice the treats for the first time. “Oh. That’s very kind of you,” he said, “but I am not hungry at the moment. Everyone else, feel free to help yourself.”

Dee rolled his eyes. “Told you it wouldn’t work,” he muttered, checking his email and going to the link.

The professor was still talking. “Now, since the school’s default online portal is an inefficient ineffective GUI nightmare, we will be using Classroom. Your school email login should work just fine. Put in this code...” Logan squinted at the screen and glanced at the projection. “... as soon as it appears. Keep calm, carry on.”

“Oh god. He’s one of those profs that try to be cool and ‘hip’,” Dee grumbled, smirking once he saw Remy choke on his his drink in a fit of laughter.

Someone stumbled through the door, panting. “Sorry I’m late! I slept in and I didn’t realize that this class started so early and it took me forever to find the room because this campus is a maze— amazing really!— but super confusing so I got lost and went in circles until I realized I was in the wrong building! Then I found this building and.....”

Dee stared at the chatterbox of a freshman. *Will he ever shut up? God he looks like a loser. Are those rainbow braces? Who still wears braces in college?*

Logan cleared his throat to stop the babbling nonsense still flowing from the fool. “You’re not late at all. Please take a seat,” he said.

“Oh.” The freshman deflated, then giggled nervously. “Right.” He glanced around, then hesitantly approached the seat in front of Dee. “Is this seat taken?”

Dee blinked and shook his head. *No, it’s not taken. No, don’t sit there—!* He opened his mouth to say so, but the freshman had already flopped into the chair and started digging around in his ridiculously-large backpack.

“Oh and I’m Patton! I’m new here. It’s a really nice campus,” the freshman chattered on, then turned and awkwardly reached over his shoulder as if to shake his hand.

“Dee. Just Dee.” He didn’t shake the offered hand, bracing himself for the inevitable—

“Nice to meet you!” Then Patton’s big blue eyes widened and his mouth gaped open. “Ohmygosh I love your makeup! It’s so cool! Do you like theater?”

Dee plastered a smile on his face, clenching his hand into a fist under his desk. *Makeup. Shit is it slipping? Or does he think the scars are fake? Fuck fuck fuck.....*

“Dee,” Remy whispered. “He says he likes it. Don’t—“

Too late, the freshman realized his mistake. “Oh. I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong? I didn’t mean anything bad! I really do like it. It’s really unique!”

“Shut. Up.” Dee shot to his feet and stumbled over his chair. “I-I’ll be back. Remy, take notes if I miss shit.” He fled to the restroom without looking back, not stopping until he was in front of a mirror in the boy’s room.

He clung to the sink with his gloved hands, closing his eyes as he caught his breath. The room was spinning. Obviously it was spinning— he hadn’t run that fast since freshman year.

Once his breathing was under control, he turned his attention to his reflection. To his hideously scarred face, barely hidden under layers of makeup. He took off his right glove and traced the faded line across his left cheek, the vague splotches of his birthmarks mixed with burn scars. “Fuck.” He closed his eyes again.

“Dee-Dee?” Remus was there.

*When did Remus get here?!*

“Not now, Remus!” Dee snapped, tightening his grip on the sink.

“You look like shit. Need me to beat someone up?” Remus’s signature footsteps came closer.

“No. Maybe. I don’t know. Just... help me fix my makeup if you have a minute.” Dee swept his hair out his eyes and turned to face him, hoping his eyes weren’t too red.

Remus’s mouth formed a silent “o” of understanding. He nodded and dropped his bag, rummaging through it for his makeup kit. “Want something fancier? Or just a new foundation?”

“Whatever you want. I don’t care.” Dee groaned and rubbed his face. “But nothing crazy! Just foundation. Perhaps a bit of contour. Darken up the eyeshadow if you want.”

Remus giggled. “Awww c’mon, Dee-Dee! Don’t you trust me?”

“I am not currently in a very trusting mood.” His voice was ice.

“Oh. Right. Never mind.” Remus eventually took out a large makeup kit. “Take a seat and I’ll see what I can do.”

Dee hesitated, searching for somewhere clean to sit. He shrugged and climbed up to perch on the windowsill.

Remus hummed to himself and began the process. “Stay still, Dee-Dee. Close your eyes and keep your mouth shut until I’m done.”

Dee didn’t argue. Remus was better at makeup than he was. *He better be sober.... This is not the time for games.*

Finally, the brushes stopped tickling his face. “Ta-da! All done,” Remus boasted. “Take a look! Tell me if ya want anything changed.”

Dee opened his eyes and hopped down, walking over to a mirror and staring at his reflection. The scars were covered as much as they could be, albeit with a slightly-paler foundation. A hint of silvery jade eyeshadow and black eyeliner made his blue and green eyes pop. A touch of blush on his cheeks so he wouldn’t look sickly. Rusty-red lipstick that glittered in the light.

“Thank you, Remus. It’s perfect,” he said, forcing a smile.

Remus clapped his hands and grinned ear-to-ear. “Yay! Happy to help,” he said, then put away his makeup kit. “Now.... you wanna talk about what happened?”

Dee took off his gloves and washed his hands, using the distraction to gather his thoughts. “Just a stupid freshman,” he said after drying his hands and putting his gloves back on. “I’m fine, really.”

“You gonna go back to class? Or wanna skip with me? You know I can always beat him to a pulp for ya.”

“My things are still in the classroom,” Dee muttered, rubbing the back of his ear. He sighed and checked his watch, doing a few quick calculations. “Half an hour left of class. I’ll skip twenty minutes. And no, don’t beat anyone up. Yet.”

Remus grinned. “Great! Let’s go!” He grabbed Dee’s hand and dragged him outside.

Dee grunted as he tried to find his feet, then chuckled and jogged after Remus. As long as they didn’t get drunk or high, whatever Remus had in mind would be fine.

[iamvegorott]

A Lifetime Chapter 6

Wanna help me and give me some support? |Donate To My PayPal|

Reunited

“Come in,” Murderslaughter called out when he heard a knock on his door. 

“Hey there, Uncle slaw.” 

“Why, looks who’s here.” Mudersaughter greeted with a chuckle. “How are you doing, ‘Illinois’.” He said that name with a teasing tone. 

“I came to see a good friend of mine.” Illinois went over to Murderslaughter’s desk, sitting on the edge of it. “How has he been?” 

“I think you know that answer better than I do.” Murderslaughter slapped at Illinois’ hip to make him get off of his desk. 

“You have a point there.” Illinois tucked his thumb into his belt. “Do I need to sign some paperwork or something to see him?” 

“I’ll talk to the guards and get a simple visitation room set up for you two. We just got two new inmates in so everyone’s distracted by that.” 

“Youngins?” 

“Two adults that got sent here temporarily due to us being the closest prison. They got caught trying to steal a plan after stealing from a museum.” He gave Illinois a look. 

“I don’t steal from museums.” Illinois protested. 

“I didn’t say anything.” Murderslaughter hummed. “But it’s their first day here so it’ll just mostly be…” Murderslaghter held out his word when there was a loud crash. “Damn it. Stay here.” Murderslaughter got up and left the room. Illinois waited for about three taps of his foot before he stepped out as well. Illinois heard his uncle’s voice at one end of the hall and he decided to go down the other. 

“Why would anyone want to break out?” Illinois stopped at the entrance to the cafeteria, heart leaping when he saw the group of prisoners singing and dancing, the one in the lead sticking out the most to him. 

“Yancy.” Illinois gasped softly.

“I don’t wanna be free. Leave me in luxury~” Yancy had a large smile on his face as he danced with the others. Illinois couldn’t stop himself from smiling and watched for a bit before something tapped his shoulder. 

“You’re the Warden’s nephew, right?” A large man with long hair and a stern face asked. 

“Yeah.” Illinois’ hand went to where his whip would have been if he wasn’t forced to leave it outside. 

“Great!” The man’s face became a bright smile. “You’re here to see Yancy, correct?”

“Yeah.” Illinois relaxed his shoulders. 

“Now is this a conjugal visit or-”

“It’s a little soon for that, considering the last time we saw each other was when we were thirteen.” Illinois chuckled. “He probably doesn’t even recognize me.” 

“So, should I keep a room open for-” The man was cut off by shouts and cheers. “Shit, they’re fighting. Warden!” The man took off and Illinois turned to see that Yancy was brawling with the person they had been performing to. Illinois was ready to jump in but Murderslaughter went rushing past him, he froze thinking that if he didn’t move, he wouldn’t get caught disobeying. 

“What is going on here!?” Murderslaughter demanded. 

“Your visit might have to wait. Yancy’s going in time-out.” The man from before said to Illinois, gesturing to Yancy as he was walked away from the crowd.

“Get the runaway paperwork ready,” Murderslaughter said when he walked up to the two men. “And freezing doesn’t make me not see you, I’m not a dinosaur.” He added as Illinois went still. 

“Can’t blame me for trying.” Illinois weakly chuckled. “And what’s the runaway paperwork?”

“It’s a new program we made because of Yancy.” Murderslaughter gestured for Illinois to follow him as he went back towards his office. “He’s a smart man and he knows almost everything about everyone here. Not because he sneaks around but because people trust him.” 

“Am I supposed to be getting something from this?” Illinois asked. 

“We’re about to lose an inmate tonight and if you want a private moment with Yancy without any guards around, come back at ten o’clock and go to the back of the prison.” 

“Is Yancy going to try to escape?” 

“Never.” Murderslaughter stopped at his office door. “You heard his song, didn’t you?”

“But why doe he want to stay?” 

 “All he has is a lifetime of being trapped, he never’s known what it’s like to be free and if you think you can get him to escape. I won’t stop you.”

x~x~x

“Maybe next time parole comes up…I’ll give it a shot,” Yancy said as he leaned against the bars, the person he was speaking to giving him a small smile of support. 

Illinois was hidden in the shadows of some nearby trees. Murderslaughter was right, Yancy was there and he was helping the new person escape. His curiosity spiked, even more, when Yancy handed the person a box and when they opened it, they seemed to pull out…a key?

The person waved goodbye to Yancy and Illinois could swear that they were heading straight towards him. They were.

“Um…hello?” Illinois greeted, glancing over at Yancy and seeing that he was looking down at the grass. The person snapped their fingers in front of Illinois’ face to get him to look back at them. They gave a smile and handed Illinois the key and a slip of paper. “What is this?” Illinois looked at the paper. “Skeleton key? Why are you-” Illinois stopped when the person was suddenly gone. Illinois has seen some strange things in his journeys and stuff like that will always still throw him off. Illinois blinked a few times and snapped out of it when he saw that Yancy was walking away. “Yancy!” 

“Huh?” Yancy squinted through the darkness, going back to the bars. “Who’s there?” Illinois removed his hat, took a deep breath and stepped out. “Who is you?” 

“Happy fifteen-year anniversary, Yanc,” Illinois said.

“Fifteen-year…” Yancy gasped and his eyes went wide. “Illinois? Is that yous?” 

“The one and only.” Illinois bowed a little. 

“It’s actually yous.” Yancy shook his head in disbelief. “I thought I would never actually see you. I thought you were always gonna be something in my head.” 

“I’m here.” Illinois gave Yancy a bright smile. “I’ve missed you.”

“Missed me?” Yancy’s face was flushed. “This is the first time we’ve seen each other.” 

“It’s been a while.” Illinois took out his hat and placed it on his head, hoping that it would be enough.

“Howdy?” Yancy’s voice dropped to a whisper. 

“Haven’t been called that since I changed my name.” Illinois chuckled. “The years have changed us, huh?” 

“Yeah, they have.” Yancy rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Do you remember when I said I wanted to ask out a cool person? Back before all of this happened?” Illinois asked.

“Kinda,” Yancy said honestly. “Did you end up doin’ that?” 

“Not yet.” Illinois reached through the bars and placed his hand on Yancy’s cheek. “He got into some trouble before I could.” 

“I-I-I…” Yancy stuttered out, bright red and brain malfunctioning. 

“Run away with me.”

“I can’t.” Yancy moved away from Illinois’ hand. 

“You already said you’d try for parole, Why not skip that?” Illinois asked.

“I said that so they’d feel better. It was for them.” 

“You don’t belong here.” Illinois was now holding the bars.

“How do I not belong here?” Yancy asked. “You saw the news, yous know what I did.” 

“I also know why you did it and you deserve better.” 

“I have it better here.” 

“Yanc-”

“I need to get back. I’d love to see you at visitation, every third Sunday.” Yancy gave a sorrowful wave and started to walk away. 

“Yancy, please. Yancy!” Illinois called out, slumping when Yancy just kept going. “Yanc…”

—————–

Tag List (Let me know if you want to be added): @devon-rever-860 @m0th-dude @thesinginggal @rainymae523@disneyamoo@salmonisforthebagel​ @antibeaneverybody​ @adverseflyer909​ @madallice329​ @rebastone​ @ninazappy @thedarkeningdusk​ @aoimatsurika@windymischeif @mirrored-calamity @yurmimi @thevampireauthoress @wingz16

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

You Look Perfect - Supercorp

Read at AO3

She was staring, she knew she was staring, she knew she should stop, look to the other side, stop being a creep, anything. But her eyes were glued to the vision in front of her. Kara was using the most perfect thing Lena had ever saw. Her hair was down, almost like Supergirl’s style, she was using some light make up around her eyes and light pink lipstick that made her beautiful blue eyes point out. Kara was using a simple white blouse with sleeves that ended on the crook of her elbows, a black belt holding her long flowery skirt that fell flawlessly to her ankles, where Lena could see a black boot.

Lena started wondering if it was possible to forget how to breathe, or think, or live.

“Here.” Maggie had suddenly approached her holding a napkin, that she promptly handed to Lena with a smirk.

Still distracted by the image in front of her, Lena took it without a second thought. “Thank you.” She held it in front of her for a couple of seconds, until Maggie’s laugh shook her away from her thoughts. “Wha-“ She looked down at the napkin and frowned. “Why?” Lena asked the detective.

Maggie shrugged, looking too innocent to be real. “For the drool.” She pointed to Lena’s face and, out of instinct, the CEO raised her hand to touch the sides of her mouth. Maggie laughed happily while Lena rolled her eyes. “It’s so fun to have you around.”

Lena wrapped the napkin in a angry ball and shoved it back into Maggie’s hand, ignoring the woman’s laugh. “Very funny.”

“I thought so.” The smaller brunette nodded delighted with herself. “So, what’s the occasion, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Kara didn’t tell you?” Lena was greatful for having a distraction from the woman looking so gorgeous from across the room, so she turned to look at Maggie with one raised eyebrow.

The woman shrugged again. “Like she can say anything without stumbling in her own words when it comes to you.” She looked at where both Alex and Kara were talking across the room and smiled. “Do you think I can make the same joke with Kara?”

Lena rolled her eyes. “Go ahead.” She knew better than try to stop the woman of having some fun. “I have a brunch to attend and I asked her to go with me.”

It was Maggie’s turn to raise her eyebrows. “A brunch? And you’re both dressed like that? Is it at the Bunckingham Palace? Are you meeting the Queen?”

Lena looked down at her own clothes, the dark blue three pieces suit and black shoes, and frowned. “No. It’s a brunch with the members of the council of L Corp, you know, the thing you have to do once a year to keep people at your good side.”

Maggie nodded. “It has to suck to be rich.” She teased. The CEO laughed softly and opened her mouth to say something, but Maggie raised her hand. “Wait, wait, wait, that’s my chance!” She was out before Lena could understand what was happening.

She wasn’t alone for too long, Alex quickly occupied the place her fiancée had just left. “You’re looking good, Lena.”

Lena tilted her head to the side as a silent ‘thank you’. “Not as much as Kara.”

“It took her five days to choose it.” Alex confessed with an eye roll. “Please, tell her she’s looking good, she almost didn’t left her room when you got here.”

Like Lena would ever be able to say anything else. Actually, scratch that, she could say something else. Kara wasn’t just looking good, she was perfect. Absolutely and undoubtedly perfect. Huh, maybe she should have taken Maggie’s napkin after all.

“What on Earth is my woman doing?” Alex asked exasperatedly while putting both hands on her hips.

Lena turned to look where Maggie had joined Kara and was now handing her the slightly crumpled napkin to the blonde. The CEO saw as Kara looked at it a little confused, before Maggie said something, clearly the same thing she had just said Lena if the way she was pointing at Kara’s mouth was any indication, and then the blonde woman was blushing. Hard. And looking even more beautiful than before while doing so.

Kara apparently was a little more affected than her as she visibly tried to gather some coherent answer, but then she looked up and their eyes met across the room, and the world stoped spinning around them.

There was only the two of them, staring at each other’s eyes.

“Alex, quick, grab a bucket before the apartment floods!” And with that the moment was over.

Lena was just a little bit thankful for Maggie, because she had no idea how long she would have just stand there and stared at Kara. Hours, probably.

Alex apparently didn’t shared the same opinion. “Jesus, Maggie, you’re such a bad person.”

Maggie raised one eyebrow and smirked at her fiancée. “Are you saying I’m a bad girl? What are you going to do about it?”

“Ooook.” Kara’s nervous laugh cross the room towards her and Lena could swear her knees started trembling. “Not what I needed to hear.”

“What? We have to watch you too eye-fuck for months and you can’t deal with a little flirt?” Maggie teased as she walked back to Alex to give her a kiss. The agent pulled away before Maggie could get too into it, thankfully. “Eye-fucking here, and eye-fucking there, and eye-fucking in public, and eye-fucking...”

Lena fished for her wallet inside the front pocket of her pants and took a hundred dollar bill out. “Here, I’m going to pay you to be quiet now.” She joked.

Faster than anyone could see, Maggie grabbed the bill. “Sweet.” She turned back to Alex. “Honey, go change, I’m taking you somewhere nice today.”

There was a few seconds of silence before they all bursted in laughs. Maggie handed her the money back and Alex pulled her into a hug, shaking her head to the ridiculousness that was the other woman. Also laughing, Kara finally approached Lena, who was stuffing the money back into her pocket. Kara shook her head once she stoped in front of the CEO, placing both hands on her shoulders.

“You guys are silly.” She said between giggles, then she slid her hands down Lena’s shoulders to her chest, smoothing her striped navy blue suit. “You’re looking very good, Ms. Luthor.” Kara bit her bottom lip as she toyed with the collar using the tip of her fingers.

“You think so?” Lena smiled. “I decided not to use a tie. Thought it was maybe too much.”

Kara nodded in agreement. “Super good.” She joked.

The brunette’s smile grew even bigger as she pulled Kara closer by her hips. “Look who’s the one to talk, Ms. Danvers.” Was it possible to split your face in half with how hard you were smiling? That was never something she had to worry before. “You look perfect.” Lena declared in a whisper, before she leaned foward to place a sweet kiss on the other woman’s forehead.

There was nothing else she wanted to do than lean and kiss the soft lips she loved so much, but it would ruin their lipsticks, especially since she was using a dark shade of red. So she would be glad with what she had, after all, kissing Kara in any form was a blessing.

When she pulled away, Kara was blushing one more time. “I could change, put some heels or...”

Lena placed her index finger under Kara’s chin top stop the woman to look down like she knew she wanted to. She kept a gentle soothing smile on her face as she shook her head. “You look perfect.” She repeated in a way softer voice.

Kara bit her lip again, but to stop herself from smiling this time. “So do you.” They both ignored Maggie fake coughing behind them. “Am I approved for our first outing as a couple?” She let go of Lena’s collar to take a hold on her skirt. The blonde raised the edges a little so she could swirl her knees from one side to another in a silly dance.

Lena chuckled as her hands raised to cup Kara’s face. “You could be using your ugly dinosaur sweater and I wouldn’t care.” She whispered between two kisses on Kara’s nose.

The blonde crinkled her nose adorably. “Stop saying shit about my sweater!”

“It’s a bad sweater, Kara.” Alex eagerly said from her place.

“It’s so ugly!” Maggie agreeded fast.

Kara looked around Lena to stick out her tongue for both of them. “You’re just jealous.”

Lena laughed as she turned to look at everyone else. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yes!” Kara nodded. “Wait! How long till we eat?” When everyone laughed, she frowned. “I need to know if I have to eat before we leave!”

XoX

Kara was nervous. Deep down she knew there was no reason for it, but she couldn’t stop feeling a bit worried about what was going to happen. Lena had told her it was a simple brunch with the members of her board, where some boring white dudes would be talking with her non stop, trying to get in her good grace and sell their own projects. Their wifes would all gather in some corner to gossip and not eat because they were too worried with gaining weight. Nothing for her to worry about, but she was anyway.

Because that was the first time they were going out as a couple, correction, as an official couple, because they had hang out before under the pretext of their friendship, but Lena had released a press report saying they were, in fact, dating two weeks before and they had basically decided to stay in and out of the streets to avoid the paparazzi. So the brunch was actually the first time they were going to be seeing together in public as a couple.

She was allowed to be nervous because of that, right?

Lena stoped right before she opened the glass door that leaded inside the restaurant they had booked for the brunch. She kept her hand in the handle, but turned around to look at her. “Are you ok?”

Of course Lena would be able to pick up on her agitated and uncomfortable manners. “Yeah, of course.” Kara tried to smile to soothe her girlfriend, but Lena could see right through her.

“Kara, we promissed we would only tell the truth.” Lena’s voice wasn’t accusatory or mad, instead she gave her the most kind smile and took two steps away from the door. It was enough to make Kara’s body relax. “Are you really ok?”

“I’m a little nervous.” Kara admited shyly. “It’s just... You work with these people, what if I do something wrong and...”

“Kara.” Lena interrupted her gently, grabbing both of her hands. “You have nothing to worry about. They’re some old boring men talking about numbers and trying to buy my support with lies. I would rather spent this day cuddling in your apartment, but I have to be here.” She grinned at her with a wink. “You, in the other hand, doesn’t have to. I can ask my driver to take you back, I’m sure you could watch some movies with Alex if you want to. I can meet you both later.”

Lena was the most perfect person in the world. Kara smiled at her and took a step foward, promptly walking into the CEO’s open arms. “It would be a shame to take off this make-up, it took me a very long time to do it.”

The brunette giggled as she pressed a kiss on top of her head. “And you’re looking really pretty too.” Lena teased.

Kara chuckled and took a step back. “Ok, yeah, let’s go, I’m ready.”

“If you want to leave at some point, just let me know and I’ll call Jerry.” Lena said. “Besides, I only have to stay for like, two hours.”

“I promisse I won’t leave you to deal with those men alone.” Kara joked and steped around Lena to open the door herself. She was feeling way better, still a little nervous, but totally ready to face the people inside. She took a step to the side and tilted foward dramatically, motioning for Lena to get inside first. “Madame.”

Lena bent her knees and raised her imaginary skirt, smiling at her girlfriend. “My, thank you.”

The CEO stoped inside to wait for Kara, reaching out for her hand, which was gladly taken. They interwined their fingers and Kara instantly felt a calmness rush through her body. Lena was first approached by a short bald man who looked like he was in his late fifthies. He had a drink in his hand and there was a very tall supermodel looking woman walking beside him.

“Lena! Always in time.” The man said with a smile that Kara was sure was too sweet to be real.

“Not one minute after.” Lena agreeded with the voice that Kara had identified as ‘The CEO’ very early in their friendship. “Glad you could make it, Harold.”

“Like I would miss it.” He laughed and his big belly bounced with it. “Anyway, I believe you haven’t met my wife yet. This is Michaela, or, how I like to call her, Mrs. Damion.”

Was Kara the only person who thought it was weird to call your own wife like that? Couldn’t he call her... Chaela? It was way better. Lena apparently didn’t thought it was so weird because she didn’t even flashed an eyelash before she leaned foward to squeeze the woman’s hand. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Damion.” She gave the supermodel a small smile. “This is my girlfriend, Kara.”

“Oh, what a pleasure!” Harold took a large step foward to give her what had to be the most awkward hug she ever received, but Kara took it without frowning, which she was proud of herself for. “Your face seems familiar!”

Kara froze in panic for a second – she really should stop reacting like that, because her reaction alone was enough to let people know there was something weird going on. Lena, in the other hand, only pulled her closer, putting her arm around Kara’s waist. “Well, that’s because she’s a reporter.” The brunette gave her a calming smile, trying to let her know everything was under control and Kara couldn’t not believe her with all her heart. “The best reporter at CatCo.”

Her girlfriend’s words made a light blush rise on her cheeks and she had to battle her desire to hide her face on the crook of Lena’s neck. “Oh, stop it.”

“It’s only the true.” Lena praised before tugging at her hand discreetly. “If you excuse us, Harold, I’m going to say ‘hi’ to everybody before they serve the food.”

Too distracted by the word ‘food’ Kara totally missed whatever answer the man gave her, she simply followed Lena around while she talked with everyone there.

Lena waited until they were out of hearing to speak again. “All people in my council are very polite, as you can see.” The sarcasm was dripping of her voice as she rolled her eyes.

“They don’t...” Kara paused for a second to consider her next words. “They don’t seem to like you very much.”

Lena actually laughed at that. “No, they don’t. I’m used to that, it’s quite funny see those grow ass men trying to pretend they enjoy my presence.” She made a stop to grab both of them a drink and leaned to whisper in the blonde’s ear. “Don’t tell them that, but half of them won’t be here next year.”

Feeling a little giddly to be let inside that internal –kind of cruel – joke, Kara chuckled. “Starting with Harold?”

“Actually, no. Harold is a good man, he’s just a jerk sometimes. Besides, I need him to look over the money, he can deal with that like nobody else.”

The final round of presentations ended mostly like she expected, but this time the men’s wives called her to join them in a large table at the corner while ‘they talked business’. Lena squeezed her hand to let her know it was ok to stay if she wanted or to go with them, but Kara decided to follow them and get away from the nerd talk that was about to happen. There was three group of men around the room and it remained divided like that all the time as she watched as Lena waltzed her way between them while hearing complaints or other boring things they wished to tell her.

Shortly after the food started to be served and Kara was glad to see the waiter put down two plates with appetizers and potsickers! She quickly stuffed her plate with food, but all the other women around her only picked one or two small snacks. Kara tried not to be too self conscious about it, but it was hard to ignore when everyone else in the table wasn’t eating and you were the only one who had a mountain of food on your plate. But she was really hungry and everything was really good, so Kara kept eating until both plates were empty. She saw the waiter putting some random plates around the room with potsickers and she kind of wished they were closer to her because everybody would notice if she got up to grab even more food. The supermodel from before was staring at her since her second sandwich.

Kara was already conformed she was going to starve for the rest of the brunch when she felt and heard Lena approaching her. She was able to tell apart Lena’s heartbeat in any room, so it wasn’t hard to tell when the woman was getting closer to her. That and the fact that her body instantly relaxed when Lena was around.

“Hope you’re having fun.” Lena said while she leaned to place a kiss on her cheek. Their lipstick was long gone thanks to the food and drinks, so Kara was happy to press her cheek against her lips with a huge smile. The CEO rested one hand behind her chair and placed one of the potsickers bowls in front of her. She didn’t adressed it and everyone else in the table seemed to be too distracted by her to notice it, so Kara only smiled at her in gratitude. “And I hope no ne here is telling her all of my embarrassing stories.” She joked. “I’m trying to keep this one, you know.”

Everyone laughed and they actually sounded genuine this time, not like their husbands. “Oh, please, Lena, like you had ever done anything of the kind.” One of them said.

“You never know.” The CEO shook her head, before looking back at Kara. “You good?” She whispered.

Kara bit her bottom lip and looked around the table. Most of them were kind of rude and the other half had barely looked at her properly. “Yeah.”

“Ok.” Lena leaned to press a kiss on her forehead this time. “Call me if you need anything. And if you wish to join me, I’m going to talk with Harold now. He’s trying to make me buy an island.”

“An island.?!” Kara was too shocked to say anything else for a while. “You said he was good with dealing with the money.”

Lena laughed. “The company’s money, yes, but he does have sixty cars.”

“Sixty?!” Kara’s eyes went wide with that and it make the brunette laugh again.

“And you complain about my shoes collection.” Lena winked at her and took a step back. “I only have fifthy two!”

Kara shook her head as she watched her girlfriend walking back to Harold, a fond smile on her lips. Lena was too cute, too perfect, the best thing that ever happened to her, for sure. And she brought her potsickers! The superhero was sure that restaurant didn’t serve potsickers, so she must have found a way to provide them to her because she knows how much she loves it. Lena knows her so well.

“So, Kara, how long are you two dating?” One of the woman asked her suddenly.

Kara had to swallow down her potsicker too quickly to answer and it went down completely wrong. “Oh, around six months.” Like she didn’t know the exact day, hour and minute they started dating.

“And you’re a reporter?”

“Yes, I am. I work at CatCo.”

“So you know Cat?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Stephanie. Cat doesn’t go around talking with every reporter that works for her.”

And that might be true, sure, Cat didn’t had the habit of knowing all of her employees, but the way the woman said it made her mad. “I do know her, yes.”

“Really?!”

She managed to handle five minutes of that talk before she make some lame ass excuse to get up and walk away. She found Lena with some group and she quietly put herself behind the other woman. Apparently, however, she wasn’t the only one who had developted a sixth sense, because Lena turned halfway around to curl her arm around Kara’s waist.

“You ok?” She asked, totally ignoring whatever the man in front of her was talking.

Kara nodded. “All fine, yeah.” Lena didn’t had super hearing so she couldn’t whisper things under her breath for only her to hear it, so she tried to communicate the unspoken ‘just needed a break’ with her eyes.

The CEO seemingly took the hint, because she beamed at her and offered her some potsickers she had stocked on her napkin to bring to her later. Kara’s eyes clearly sparkled with the vision of her favourite food and Lena chuckled when her girlfriend almost ripped the food out of her hand. Lena put a lovingly kiss on the side of her head before returning to her conversation like she hadn’t stoped to give food to her girlfriend.

XoX

In the end, Kara was happy she got to be a part of that brunch because she had never ate so much potsickers before in her life, and she would like to remind everyone that she was an avid potsickers eater.

When they entered the car, both glad to be able to put some distance between them and the boring men, Lena sighed tiredly. “Sorry you had to go through this.”

“Well, you did feed me all the time, so...” Kara joked, snuggling against the brunette’s side. “It wasn’t so bad.”

“I’m glad you think like that.” Lena threw her arm around her shoulders and sighed again. “Thanks for coming with me, you made everything better, for sure.”

“I didn’t even do anything.” Kara protested.

“Of course you did, you were there.” The CEO kissed her forehead and smiled this time. “And I’m greatful for that.”

They stayed in silence for a couple of minutes, enjoying each other’s presence, until Kara realized they weren’t going back to her apartment, or to Lena’s penthouse, like she thought they would. “Hey, Lee, where are we going?”

“Well...” Lena singed. “Since we did something totally massive in my behalf today, we’re doing something you love tonight.”

“Lena! I’m sure you’re tired, we don’t have to...”

“No complaints, Kar!” Lena interrupted her quickly. “Everything is already set up. I called our friends and they’re going to meet us, it’s happening. Unless you’re too tired, in this case we can go home, but not because of me. Besides, it would be a shame to use the gorgeous clothes you’re wearing only for some old men to see.” Lena smiled, one of those smiles that made Kara forget her own name, and all protests she might have come up with were gone.

“Where are we going?” She was more excited now, specially after finding out their friends would also be a part of it.

Lena pursed her lips, pretending to think for a second. “Well, I can tell you, but only if you promise me you’re going to sing me a song.”

It took Kara a few seconds to understand, but, when she did, she squealed happily and hugged Lena ever tighter. “Karaoke?!”

“Not feeling like going home then, huh?” Lena teased. “Yes. I heard a lot about your legendary skills on karaoke, but I never saw you performing at one before, so I couldn’t lose this chance.”

“It’s going to rock your world.” Kara joked with a nod. “But, babe, I hate to say this, but you’re a totally overdressed for a karaoke bar. It’s a very good suit.” Kara commented with a smile. “I loved it.”

“I noticed it.” The blonde blushed when she winked at her and Lena laughed. “So, what song are you going to sing for me?”

Inspired by Lena Luthor three pieces suit and Melissa Benoist look at the Dior Show