#supergirl fic

[comic-book-jawns]

Ripples

“Aunt Lena!”

Alex would be the first to admit that she could have reacted poorly to her 12-year-old daughter asking if her godmother could chaperone the sixth grade field trip to the Smithsonian’s first West Coast expansion — the Museum of Magic, which she had already visited with Lena the day it opened — when Alex had gone to sign the permission slip.

And that she probably would have if her wife hadn’t preemptively swooped in, telling Esme — but really Alex — that of course she could ask whoever she wanted.

Alex had snorted to herself at the idea of Esme needing to ask. But fortunately, the preteen had already been slipping off the kitchen stool and whipping out her phone with a giddy “thanks,” so Alex had needed only to contend with Kelly’s sympathetic disappointment.

Now, two months later, the former director of the Deparment of Extranormal Operations, literally stopped in her tracks at the sight of a horde of middle schoolers, maybe half the class, beaming and cheering in unison at 6 a.m.

At least a dozen even rushed at the former CEO, taking turns giving her quick hugs, which Lena accepted with a small, but exceedingly warm, smile and faint blush.

“Ms. Smith, I think it’s time we got on the bus. Now that our guest of honor has arrived?”

Kelsey Rudd.

Despite Kelly’s cautionings, back when Esme was starting kindergarten, about not rushing to judge other parents… Alex’s rushed judgment had been correct.

Kelsey Rudd was a stuck-up bitch.

So far Alex had held her tongue, though, because Gianna Rudd had been Esme’s best friend since kindergarten. Naturally, Alex had laughed at the irony for years. Until Kelly had asked her to consider that Gianna, who was truly a very sweet girl, might not be so close to Esme solely because of Esme.

Alex had assumed her wife meant that Gianna appreciated the opportunity that playdates or hang-outs, as she was now supposed to call them, afforded her to not spend as much time at home — which she had not, to her shame, considered.

Watching Gianna meekly shuffle out of Lena’s embrace, however — as Lena tensed and stepped back simultaneously — Alex felt even more humbled.

And next thing she knew she was ruining her day.

“Hey, Ms. Smith. Need any more chaperones?”

“Actually, yeah! A couple just called out, so that would be amazing.”

Alex couldn’t tell if the clipboard-clad twenty-something was more relieved at the extra help or the excuse to step away from Kelsey… who promptly slung her arm around Alex like they were old sorority sisters.

“Any chance you got a flask in that jacket?”

——

After they stepped off the bus 12 hours later, and Kelsey offered her a parting air cheek kiss and promise to catch up again soon, Alex swore her ears were still ringing.

She knew that it had been worth it, though.

Even before she’d ushered Kelsey into a seat at the front of the bus this morning and glanced at the back to find Esme already watching her with a grateful smile.

Even before Esme and Lena finally said their goodbyes to the fan club and made it over to where she was waiting by the car and her daughter hugged her extra tight before sliding into the backseat.

“How’s the headache?”

Alex could haven’t stifled the bark of laughter if she’d tried at her sister-in-law’s dry greeting. With how sappy Lena got around Kara, Alex sometimes forgot how similar she and Lena actually were.

“I’ll live. I feel like I should be asking you, though. I had one adult talking my ear off. Not 20 tweens.”

Up close, the younger woman’s blush was quite prominent as she chuckled… or tried to.

“Lena?”

Alex stepped closer on instinct, lightly gripping her elbows, as she knew Lena found grounding.

“Thank you, Alex.”

Alex was already shaking her head, her gut twisting guilty, but apparently Lena wasn’t finished.

“I don’t know if it’s just the hormones talking, but I - I think this was one of the best days of my life.”

Alex had never stood in the way of Esme spending time with her godmother. Obviously.

Though she also, obviously, couldn’t have said before today that she realized the impact giving her blessing for Lena to volunteer at Esme’s school and occasionally asking if Lena was available to supervise Esme’s playdates over the years had had.

On her daughter’s classmates, let alone on her sister-in-law.

“Imagine if they knew you were a witch. They wouldn’t have given a shit about the museum.”

Lena laughed brightly, the way usually only Kara could make her, and Alex felt a hint of pride… until her brain stalled out.

“Wait, hormones?”

Lena slowly smiled, as widely as a wobbly chin would allow, and Alex immediately felt tears spring to her own eyes.

“Kara doesn’t know yet. I wanted to tell you first since you’re the one who made it possi—”

“I call godmother!”

As Alex flung her arms around Lena, she was perfectly positioned to watch Esme accidentally, and quite forcefully, fling her phone against the car window.

[lynnearlington]

how can we be lovers (if we can't be friends) - chapter iv

Supergirl, Kara/Lena, M

“Okay,” Kara says, and she pulls Lena in close, an arm around her shoulder. “Now, when we go out there, try to look like I just rocked your world. We’re talking like you were tasting colors at some points.” 

Hockey AU is not abandoned, my friends. Enjoy it HERE.

fic playlist | crossbar playlist

ko-fi | fic tag

[redlancey]

Luther

Read here

Kara groans into Lena’s lap, nuzzling her cheek against the softness of Lena’s sweater. Lena’s left hand goes for Kara’s hair, and her right goes back to her laptop. “I know, darling. I know. If you can be good and wait, I’ll make it worth your while.”

The words are accompanied by a scratch to Kara’s neck, and she prays that Lena can't feel the way she twitches at her tone. Her low voice. Her words. Sometimes this makes Kara wonder how on earth she didn't catch on to her attraction sooner.

“Worth my while, she says.” Kara hums, propping herself up. “And what would that entail, Ms Luthor?”

“That would ruin the surprise, now wouldn’t it darling?” She asks, hand coming up briefly to stroke at Kara’s cheek. “You can be patient, Ms Danvers.”

[pigeonp0st]

Lena Luthor x Reader #3

Summary: Lena breaks up with Reader to keep her safe from Lex. Reader hatches a plan to get rid of him that goes terribly wrong, and naturally, torture follows. This mostly takes place after she’s found again.

Warnings:

Angst,torture, depression, trauma, childhood trauma

Notes:

Hey! I’m going about writing differently now. Everything I write from here on out will most likely be straight from the tumblr drafts and fairly quick. Something I decide to do in a random sitting (unless it’s paid for). Fair warning that this isn’t that, this is just something I worked on ages ago and didn’t publish. I did NO SPELLING CHECKS and remember writing at 2am, so warning number 2

———————

Lena loathed the DEO in that moment. She loathed Alex, and she loathed Supergirl , and she loathed every damn agent in the building so that she didn’t have to loathe herself instead. It’s not enough, there was still a small part of her that she couldn’t ignore, a part of her that screamed; ‘you should have held on. You should have been there’

She knows she should have been there. She knows she failed you before anyone else did. She knows. But she’s trying now and she doesn’t know how to get it to matter to the world. Trying won’t save you, and trying hasn’t led you back to her.

Trying has only led you there, far from Lena, laying somewhere unknown with a body and a heart too worn. Though, Lena imagines, that’s probably not a new feeling for you. She trembles with the image of Lex mocking her on video, holding a gun to your head, she trembles and thinks, I’ll kill him. I’ll kill him.

Then, miraculously;

“Found her!” Winn shouts loudly, raising his Supergirl action figure in victory, and Lena, CEO, multibillionaire, crumbles in relief in front of dozens of agents in the middle of the DEO.

—-

When you wake up Lena feels her heart stop.

She wanted to kiss you, hold you. She wanted to be the type of person that stayed. She wanted to be the type of person worth staying for.

She wanted to believe the both of you would be okay, and she wanted to hold your face and tell you that. That you’d be okay. She wanted more than anything in that moment to be the type of person that said the right thing. That did the right thing.

She wasn’t. She wasn’t any of the people she wanted to be. Your eyes met hers, full of sorrow, and human and hurt, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t because she was scared, and because she was human also. She wasn’t—so she leaves.

Now, as she’s gripping herself in the hallways of the DEO, struggling against the weight of what feels like worlds on her shoudlers, choking on breaths that should have been being shared with you, she’s filled with so much self contempt it could fuel the whole government. Whoever said that “It’s better to have loved and loss, than to have never loved at all”, has never met the two of you and has never loved this desperately.

Loving you made her feel just as much as losing you had, and is it worth it? Maybe, but It’s certainly not better to be feeling this than not ever feeling it. Can’t those things coexist? Can’t it be better for her to never love, but can’t loving also be a choice she’d make despite all the pain?

Can’t you love the things that will destroy us in the end? Doesn’t she always?

She should go back in. She should go back in and ask for forgiveness, but the fear of ruining things further, of the both of you hurting each other further, prevents her from trying to fix things.

When she broke up with you she had just wanted to protect you from Lex. Losing you like that would have nothing compared to—

Lena shivers, shakes her head, and clutches onto herself more tightly with trembling fingers.

“You’re hyperventilating,” Alex says from where she’s leaning against the wall beside Lena. Her eyes are watchful, careful, but Lena feels them like daggers.

She straightens, forces out a; “wow, you really are an amazing analyzer, detective,” and nearly gets a smirk for her troubles—but Alex is too soft, too caring to give her that. She moves towards her, ever the big sister, but Supergirl rushes in first.

“Lena,” Supergirl—Kara, Kara, Lena thinks, and often starts to forget, except when Kara looks at her like this—breathes out.

Lena steps back from them both, the humanity in the room tears her apart, reminds her of her lack of, and destroys her. “You have to…to warn people when you do that…super speed thing,” Lena grits out, cutting Kara off before she can even begin to try and be…be good. She gestures towards the room with shaky hands and begins to try and compose herself lHow long was she awake while I was asleep?”

Kara and Alex look at each other. Say nothing. “Guys—”

“She woke up two hours ago,” Alex says, at the same time Kara says; “you were wiped out—didn’t even hear the nurses, of course we couldn’t just wake you up”

Two hours, and she was asleep. Lena goes cold instantly. She remembers hearing Lex had you, remembers it like one remembers the worst moment of their life; both intimately and not at all. She remembers hearing Supergirl had you—that you were breathing , but people only say that when someone is very not okay, and Lena remembers the way adrenaline had rushed through her. She had felt both alive and utterly useless through it, and it sticks to her even now.

Alive, but asleep, never the person she needs to be to protect you. How alone have you felt because of her? How scared?

“Lena,” Kara starts again, “Lena, she wanted you to sleep— ”

“Go in there,” Alex cuts her off, gets a very annoyed look for it, because they both can’t seem to help cutting each other off today. “You want to show her she’s not alone, that she’s safe? I promise you that the only way she’ll feel that is with you there.”

Kara nods, suddenly straightening and transforming into Supergirl just like that, just in the stance. “Hero complexes will serve nothing except separation and loneliness. You taught me that. Stronger together, Lena.”

Wanting to save you had left you alone, and yes, alone to Lena meant away from Lex, but he’s not the only scary thing in this world, and she should have known that he’d never forget how to destroy her. To leave you alone, Lena thinks, was the worst thing she could have done.

While you were away Lena had to confront herself. Had to realize that so far, every good thing in her life has come with a cost, has led to ruin, and the threat of Lex…it had just seemed to her like the time had come. Like it was her only option. To sacrifice, to sacrifice and hurt.

If Lex had won by separating the two of you, then he had one like that. In her mind, Lena had already been destroyed, of course she imagined that to be the end of it, that he wouldn’t touch you. She’d rather hurt by pushing you away than you dying. Even the thought—

God, she’s so tired of being a coward. To being so scared of losing you that she’s willing to destroy you both.

Kara and Alex hating what she’s done in the unspoken way that they do hurts even more in a way Lena’s used to, because it hurts like regret. Their stances have turned from concerned and loving, to protective heroes. She should have never left you alone. Not when she was scared of Lex, and not now. She gives both Kara and Alex a firm nod and tries to walk past to get into the room. To make things right.

Kara stops her with a hand on her shoulder. She drops it instantly when Lena turns towards her. Ever the fragile hero, always afraid of her own hands for the strength they hold. “Before that…” Kara coughs awkwardly, “Um…we need you to understand her injuries…and what happened.”

—-

When Lena walks into the room, it’s not like you thought she would. She’s not the fragile human curled up in a chair, or the terrified women fleeing your medical room. She’s angry with rage and a whirlwind of feelings, caught in a tornado of emotion. She’s large in the way she’s always been, and yet it has never left you feeling so small.

You sink back into your hospital bed, pull the covers to your chin, and watch her.

“You went after him?” Lena hisses out, so lowly, so sharply, that she might as well have cut the words into your skin for the way that it dig into you. “Everything I’ve ever done is to protect you, and you just decided to throw it all away like it means nothing? Do you have any idea—”

“You were protecting yourself!”

Lena stops. She was pacing, shaking with emotion, but she stops dead in her tracks at the sound of your voice. You yell it, and yet it’s still somehow silent. Your throat is ruined, a testament to the cruelty of Lex, and the evidence of that and more is written on your skin. You’re covered in injuries. Your brokenness has never been more visible, you think, and it should leave you feeling fragile, and it does, god it does, but right now it gives you power.

Power over Lena, who looks at you like her life hangs in the palm of her hand.

“You think I’m stupid, that I don’t know that every fiber of your being is laced with fear?” You whisper now, hand on your throbbing throat. “You left me for you, and I went after Lex for me.” Its venom. Venom, and anger, and all of the thing you know Lena takes In stride. The thing she strives on.

It hangs in the air for a second. Then Lena, beautiful Lena, kneels by the side of your bed. CEO, one of the most powerful people in this city; on her knees for you. She doesn’t look invigorated, doesn’t looked fueled by anger, just looks sad with regrets.

“I did it for me,” Lena agrees, so soft, so not like them; not like her family. “I did it for you, too. Of course I did it for you, and maybe it was a terrible thing to do—led by my trauma talking to me—but don’t lay there and deny I wasn’t thinking of you,” she breathes, then pauses, eyes tracing your busted lips, bruised face, bruised neck. Her jaw trembles and her lips part, she looks as if she wants to say more, but her eyes are haunted by the home she grew up in.

As if reading your mind Lena whispers, “they haunt me. It’s as if I can never let go. I’m so sick of it. I’m so sick of it.” She closes her eyes with furrowed brows, as if not looking at you will prevent the shake in her voice. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. For them. For them now, for them back then, and for them in the future—if you still want to be in my life, you have to know I can’t escape them. Even when they’re not there they’re there. It…god, it makes me sick.”

When Lena raises her hands and grips herself, digging her fingers into her skin like she wants to pull the trauma and memories out of herself, like she wants to get rid of them, something in you breaks. Breaks because your arms are raw and aching, and it wasn’t Lex. Breaks because you know so intimately what it’s like to face reality and find it so frustratingly unchangeable. To want so much, and for it to mean nothing is the most devastating thing.

To be so large, and so small.

You’ve been crying, and Lena doesn’t notices until a sob falls from your lips. You’ve been trying to hold it in, but when she startles up at it and looks at you with that same wanting, like you’re her heart walking and she’d give anything to take your hurt, the sobs break through like a dam. They break through and it hurts because there is no part of you left unbroken.

When you sob it disturbs your broken ribs, disturbs the bruises covering your torso, rips at your tarnished vocal cords, and has the machines in the room beeping so loud it alerts the nurses.

—-

Lena doesn’t even have time to stand before the nurses rush in and pull the blanket off of you. There’s no words to describe the shift that happens in side of her when she sees the extent of your injuries.

It’s like something both breaks and rebuilds in her, and then breaks again, paralyzing her. Then, she sees a nurse heading towards you with a syringe and it activates her.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” Lena says, or thinks she says. She can’t recognize the venom in her voice, doesn’t feel apart of her body.

She’s moving in between the nurse and you, but your sobs begin to bring her back to reality.

“She needs to be put under, she’s hurting herself—”

Lena doesn’t pay attention to her, just sees Alex and Supergirl enter the room. Sees the way Alex shakes her head and nods to the corner of the room, and follows in suit while every fiber of her being says to do otherwise.

It kills her that she can’t protect you. Can’t protect you from the nurses that you try to pull away from, can’t protect you from the hurt on your skin, or in your heart, couldn’t protect you from— she thinks of Lex. Lex when he was her big, smart older brother that she admired more than anyone in the world.

She thinks of the way he’d give her a cheeky roll of his eyes behind Lillian’s back after a small verbal lashing. Thinks of every chess game, every hide n seek game, every reassuring grin. You’re smarter than they know Lena, he’d say, and she’d beam, not noticing the progressive darkness in his eyes as he said it.

Her eyes don’t leave you as the nurses put you down again. She thinks; I’ll kill him. In her peripheral she knows Kara is watching the floor, and feels Alex watching her. When the nurses cover you back up and they both turn towards you, Lena knows it was out of respect for you. She’s grateful for it—somewhere in her thunder of emotions she’s thankful for them, but also feels a bit of anger towards them.

This is why they kept her from seeing you when you were brought in?

“Why doesn’t she have a hospital gown?” Lena asks in a whisper.

“She took it off, said it hurt when the nurses moved it, and that it was sticking to her. Constricting her,” Kara explains, she sighs, shakes her head, and then turns towards Lena as Supergirl. With a fire in her eyes.

The same one in Lena as she allows herself to ask the very question she wanted to run from hours ago. “Where’s Lex?”

“No.” It’s both Supergirl and Alex.

“Alive then? Okay,” Lena starts towards the door. “If you’re here, he’s here. I’ll find him easily enough.”

Supergirl, familiarly, stands in her ways. Eyes sympathetic next to Alex’s hardness. “Where are you when you’re with them?” Alex asks from behind her. When you let them guide every bad decision you make, she hears.

Lena stops. Thinks about control, about gods, about leaving you to wake up alone again, thinks about murder, both in her blood and not, thinks about Lex with a gun to your head, with fists, and kicks, and a maniac smile, thinks about her dad in the same way—standing over Lex while Lillian gripped Lena back. She thinks of cycles, thinks of protection and all the ways it’s possible, all the ways she’s capable, more capable then him.

Smarter, Lena remembers Lillian saying casually. Always smarter than.

Better than, Kara will say.

The good one, Alex will joke.

My hero, you’d grin. Lena feels herself split. Starts forward again.

Kara whispers now, “Heroes don’t kill, Lena.”

Alex, “it’s both the best and most terrible thing about us.”

Us.

Lena wants to yell, wants to crumble, wants to curl by your side, wants to kill Lex with her bare hands, wants to erase the Luthor history from her mind, from her body, wants to erase it from yours even more. Wants it so desperately, so acutely it hurts. Sadness fills the room, suffocates them all.

Kara is watching you again, Alex keeps glancing back, they’re both unconcerned about Lena now. Full faith in her to be who they claim she is. Lena returns to the seat by your bed and allows herself to be that person.

“Whatever cell he’s in, I’m building it,” Lena whispers, thinking of the cuffs she’ll put on him, wondering if she can somehow slow down his mind.

Alex nods, running her hands down her face. The past couple hours have completely exhausted her in a way Lena’s not used to seeing from her. Alex cares so much about you, and it shouldn’t surprise Lena but It does. “We’re thinking about sending him to the phantom zone.”

Here, Lena is more surprised. They must know that’s a death sentence. Lena glances at Supergirl, she’s still watching you but she’s clearly listening, her eyes have turned hard. They aren’t underestimating Lex. They clearly know the responsibility that’ll bear on them if he escapes again.

Lena feels another bought of gratitude towards them as she takes your hand, and trusts them to handle the person she trusts no one to handle.

——

When you wake up the second time it’s because nurses are dapping you with wet cloths, clearly trying to clean you. They apologize profusely, say they thought the drugs would keep you down longer, and offer to finish the cleaning after you’ve gotten more pain killers.

Your eyes dart around rapidly, chest constricting in anxiety, and then you see Lena. She’s standing by the door, clearly trying to keep out of the nurses way. She’s not full of rage and untouchable in that way, and she’s not fragile, she’s strong.

Her eyes are hard, but not cold. They’re determined, and loving, and they’re your strength too. You suck in a shaky breath, whisper; “thank you. Later might be an option”, as you try to focus on Lena and not the thought of the nurses hands on you turning into Lex’s violent ones.

When they all shuffle out Lena quietly returns to the spot by your bed. This Lena somehow makes you feel more fragile than angry, furious Lena had, because in the place of your defensiveness you’re left to feel your guilt.

“I’m…I’m not weak, Lena.” It feels stupid to claim now as you lay in a hospital bed feeling nothing but. You clench your jaw. Lena’s hand reaches up and takes your chin, forcing you to meet her eyes. She’s not gentle, certainly not rough, but her firmness gives you the power to continue. She’s the stable ground that helps you find your footing.

You find it. Meet her gaze unblinking. “I’m not Supergirl, I’m not you, I’m not Alex, or Jon, or Winn, or James, or Kelly, or— or Lex…I’m not capable in the particular ways you guys are, but I am capable.”

Lena’s eyes fall to your throat. You grip her wrist, the one holding your face, and her eyes meet yours apologetically. “I know,” she says, so softly, so quietly. “You being here is the evidence of it, isn’t it?”

You nod, but you aren’t done. “I’m not sure what Supergirl told you. Clearly she told you I went after Lex, and in a way that’s true, but more so I wanted him to come after me,” you pause. Lena is watching you with furrowed eyes, clearly trying to piece together what you’re explaining before you finish.

Her lips part after just another moment. She’s figured it out you realize, feeling a bit of pride because of it. Pride because she has faith in you, pride because she‘s so incredibly quick and you have had the privilege to know her so acutely. “All of this…was your plan?” Lena asks, sounding both shocked and not.

You wince, brushing aside her hand so you can look down, adverting your gaze. “Well…not all of it.” Memories flash through your mind. “I thought he’d keep me captive, not…” you left out a frustrated breath, angry, so angry at yourself for not being able to speak about it. Speak about him.

“It was a game to him, of course. He’d torture me, send you a video to torture you. He’d get you chasing him. He’s always liked the thrill.” Your eyes stay on Lena’s fists. Watch as they clench so tightly to her side that they shake. “I knew he loved messing with you, and was partly counting on it, not like that but— but maybe just having me wouldn’t have been enough, maybe it was good he did what he did—got so high off of it his guard lowered.”

“Don’t say that,” Lena pleads. You startle up at the sound of her trembling voice doing everything not to cry.

You breathe in; your ribs hurt. You breathe out; they hurt again. Lena shakes her head at herself, frustrated and biting her lip. She’s having a battle with composure and losing.

“Kara told me how you stole his nanotech and used it to immobilize him. That the tech that was missing from my lab last week was found with the stuff he confiscated from you. That you hacked his computer with my prototype to send her the location to his headquarters underground,” Lena rushes out, “I didn’t know you planned to get taken to his HQ, to steal his nanotech, didn’t know that anyone besides me and the DEO knew what he was working on.”

It’s a quick summary of the things you’ve done, leaving out the weeks of planning, leaving out the struggles of actually setting the plan in motion when the shifting variables shifted in a way you weren’t prepared for. It should leave you proud, but when you think of what you managed all you remember is pain and struggle.

“You stopped Lex like you planned. So many people are saved because of you. An unfathomable amount, and yet,”she says. And yet, you think, heart fluttering because you know Lena will say the very thought that kills you to think of, but the thought that can’t escape you anyways. “What…what you did was monumental, and thank you, but god, I so wish you hadn’t,” Lena breathes. “He gone, and yet he has never been so present. Perhaps you felt the effects of him through me before, but you know now what it’s like to have him really present, always right over your shoulder, and that…I would’ve given the world for otherwise.”

It’s exactly the same thoughts you have had. To hear it from Lena, someone you admire and trust so much, someone you believe to be good with every piece of you, someone you’d follow everywhere—it’s like a medicine for guilt.

“What I said before…about doing what I did for me,” Lena shakes her head, ever understanding, like she doesn’t need you to finish. You do though. “I did it for me because I wanted desperately for you to still be mine, and getting rid of Lex was the avenue for that,” you admit. “I didn’t want him to plague you anymore either.”

You hesitate. Memories of Lena pacing at night—startling awake, watching the news with the grimness of someone attending a funeral—memories of Lena’s affectedness come to you. Her humaneness at hearing Lex escaped again, and in her humanity in her vulnerability.

“I want to take responsibility, so I don’t want to say I did it for you, but what you said earlier made me realize everything is a bit of both. I did it for me, I did it for you too.”

Lena laughs. Laughs. It shocks you, causes you to jump and stop looking at your hand, causes you to meet her gaze again. “Ow,” you growl, unamused, because Lena is still laughing. She’s covering her face and has the decency to look apologetic.

Your ribs hurt from the startle but even you can’t help but be confusedly amused.

“I want to hate,” Lena starts, mirth in her voice, “that you did the thing I wanted you to do least in the world, and you got exactly what you wanted out of it. You captured lex, and in a way captured me back too.”

“Oh,” you perk up, smiling up at Lena innocently. “Guess I’m the brains now, brawn.”

Lena’s eyes narrow at you. “That insinuates that you were ever the brawn.”

Back to glaring. Lena lets out another huff of laughter and brushes your hair back, away from a cut on your forehead. Her eyes are so soft, so full of warmth, and love that you could cry. Would cry, perhaps, if it wouldn’t hurt every part of your body.

Instead you grin, because that’s what humans are taught to do instead of cry, and ask, gently—feeling like a shaky child; “does that mean you’re my girlfriend again?”

—-

Lena’s eyes widen as she realizes what she implied, and as you own up to it so hesitantly, so childlike, like Lena could ever think of pushing you away after everything. Her words, not for the first time today, betray her. All she can do is nod.

Your responding grin is heroin to Lena. You smile so wide the cut on your lip breaks open again and starts bleeding, but you pay it no mind. Lena does. She smiles back, albeit more gently, and squishes your cheeks together to prevent the split widening.

You pout in her hands. Lena’s heart flutters. She keeps getting hit randomly with momentous emotion, and she’s hit again with it now. The softness of this moment feels like seeing a rainbow after months of storms.

You here, alive, looking at Lena with so much love in your eyes, so much understanding. It feels like a fantasy. Feels like a lucid dream, a dream she’d choose, over, and over again, until the end of time.

Lena leans in and kisses you—not on the lips, they are cut and bruised. She kisses you on the space just below your eye. A spot, one of the few spots, clear of visible injury. She takes pleasure in the way you flush like it’s the first time. She always did, will always do. “I love you,” Lena whispers, promising herself that even if there are days you won’t believe her, there will never be a day you don’t hear it.

It’s you, and it’s her, and it’s the mountains of history and trauma you two are fighting against. Lena likes the both of your odds. Loves winning just as much.

You’ll beat Lex she knows. There will be a day soon where he stops haunting the two of you. Where he’s not even a thought. When that time comes you’ll have won the war, but for now she’ll take the pride of winning every battle in stride, for now, in the now; she’ll cherish every moment, the many moments, when trauma leaves the room and love consumes it.

“Lena Luthor,” you breathe. You breathe. “My love, my hero.”

[unknownbard]

Chapter 7 - Supercorp Vampyr AU

The one where Kara wears a shirt with colorful surfboards.

[aspidities]

Welcome to the Ides of Smut Month, beware those stabby dicks!

We’ve been full blown with wedding planning (or at least J has been, I have been steadily mourning how little I understood of Expensive before now) but I did manage to work on at least one Thing this month and that Thing is here for you to share!

Spring has sprung, indeed.

I put chapters three AND four up on AO3 to catch up, but if that’s not enough you can head on over to horny jail/Patreon for Chapter 5.

Happy reading and happy Spring!

[oneshotnewbie]

B!D's stomach pain comes back?, but this time it ends up being an ulcer. Kara comes back from patrol to hear her crying in pain in her room, and goes to comfort/hold her while she's in pain until that morning when they go to the ER?

Authors note: This request is so old and probably came in when I published the "Stomach Inflammation" series. I'm so sorry it's only coming now. I totally missed it!

ᕚ---ᕘ

Night fell over National City as Supergirl returned from her patrol. The wind carried the scent of smoke and despair as she flew over the rooftops of the city. Her red cape fluttered in the wind as she listened to the sounds of National City with her ears pricked.

But in the midst of this nightly chaos that plagued the National City, she heard a sound that immediately stopped her in her tracks. A quiet sob, muffled and desperate, came from one of the windows below her. Supergirl hovered indecisively for a moment before deciding to investigate the source of that sound of distress.

With a quick push of her powerful legs, she landed on the roof of a building that included your apartment. Her super ears could now clearly hear the faint cries of pain, and her heart clenched at the sound. You needed her help.

Without hesitation, she floated down to the front door and walked silently up to your apartment. It was dimly lit by the moonlight, and she could hear the soft whimpers coming from your bedroom before she silently walked into your bedroom and spotted your figure on the bed, seemingly in pain.

“Y/n?” Kara whispered softly as she slowly approached. Her super eyes immediately took in the scene: you were curled up on the bed, hands clutched tightly around your stomach, tears streaming down your face. You raised your head and looked at your sister with tear-filled eyes. "Kara," you sob. "It hurts so much. I don't know what's wrong."

Her heart ached at the sight of you in such agony. She had seen you struggle with stomach problems often enough, but she had never seen you so desperate. “Oh, my sweet girl,” Kara murmured, sinking onto the bed next to you. She gently placed a hand on your shoulder and felt your body tremble under her touch. "It'll be okay, I promise you."

But deep down the blonde knew that she couldn't keep that promise. Because she knew that your stomach pain wasn't a simple case of stomach problems. They were a symptom of something much more serious.

Kara hugged you tightly as you clung to her as if you were holding on to the last shred of hope. But in that moment, Supergirl knew she was facing a new challenge. A challenge stronger than anything they had ever experienced before.

The night had long since reached its climax when you and Kara were still sitting in your room. The silence was only broken by the muffled cries of pain from you as you writhed on the bed, trying to endure the excruciating pain. Kara sat next to you, one hand gently on your back as she tried to provide comfort as best she could.

“It will pass soon, y/n.” She whispered reassuringly, even though she knew her words could provide little relief. "I'm here with you. You're not alone."

You squeezed your eyes shut and clenched your fists in pain. Every breath was a challenge, and you desperately fought the tears that stung your eyes. "Why is this happening to me?" you whimpered quietly, your voice barely more than a breath.

Kara swallowed hard as she pulled you closer and hugged you tightly. “Sometimes things happen that we can’t control,” she replied quietly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. "But you're strong. You've gotten through this before, and you'll get through this time too."

You leaned heavily against your sister, your cheeks wet with tears. The pain continued to pulse through your body, but in that moment you felt a little less alone. Kara was with you and that gave you strength to keep fighting.

The minutes passed slowly, each second filled with the agony of you and the silent support of Kara. The first gentle rays of the sun broke through the curtains and bathed the bedroom in a soft and calming light. You were still lying on the bed, your eyelids fluttering as you slowly woke up. A dull ache still pulsed in your stomach, and you sighed softly.

Kara was still sitting on your bed, her back leaning against the headboard, her gaze resting lovingly on you. The tension of the past few hours still weighed heavily on her shoulders, but in that moment she also felt a deep gratitude that she was able to stand by you when you needed her most.

But before you even got to sit up, you felt a firm grip on your shoulder, gently pushing you back onto the bed. Kara was next to you, a worried look on her face. "Slowly, y/n," Kara spoke softly, stroking your forehead. "You do not have to hurry."

You nodded weakly and fell back into the pillow. "How do you feel?" she asked, her voice gentle like a hug. You sighed and tried to sit up, but a sharp pain shot through your stomach, forcing you back into bed. “Not too good at the moment,” you mumbled, forcing a weak smile. "But thanks for being with me, Kar. You really helped me.“

She stood up and adjusted herself correctly so her head was close to yours before wrapping an arm around you. "That's what sisters do, y/n. We stand up for each other no matter what."

You smiled tiredly and nodded, grateful for the unwavering support from her. But despite the apparent calm, you both knew that you couldn't just carry on as before. You needed medical attention, and quickly.

Determined, Kara stood up and reached for her phone, her expression serious as she looked at you. "I'll call Lena and hope she'll help me make an appointment for you at the hospital. It's important that you get checked out."

You nodded in agreement while your sister arranged the phone call. The idea of going back to the hospital scared you, but you also knew it was the right step to figure out what was wrong with your body this time.

When you finally entered the hospital, you felt uncertain and afraid. However, Kara stood firmly at your side, her hand firmly in yours, giving you the strength you needed to take the next step. The doctors welcomed you together with nurses who immediately began to examine you. Hours passed, filled with lengthy tests and exams as you patiently persevered, strengthened by the knowledge that your sister was by your side.

And when finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the doctors came into the room with serious faces, your heart began to beat faster than you were hoping for your diagnosis. "Mrs. Danvers," the senior doctor began to speak. "After our examinations, we found that you are suffering from a stomach ulcer."

Your heart sank at those words and a wave of fear washed over you. A stomach ulcer - that meant more treatments, more pain and an uncertain future. But before fear could overwhelm you, you felt a firm grip on your hand, gently bringing you back to reality. "We'll get through this together, sweetie," your sister spoke softly, her eyes full of compassion and love. "You are not alone. I am here with you."

You smiled weakly, your eyes filling with tears of gratitude. In that moment, you knew that as long as you stuck together, you could do this. Together you left the hospital and plunged into a new phase of your life, ready to face whatever challenges came your way.

[kryptonianheroao3]

All the Linda Lee | Red Daughter fics I’ve read and I’m surprised no one has done an obvious one.

What if it was Kara who died? What if Linda survived?

[doudouneverte]

Why?

a/n: I wrote it in thirty minutes to force my ass back into writing, sorry if it feels disturbing and incomplete...

*not my GIF*

Pairing: Kara Danvers x Fem!reader

Summary: Kara try to understand how you became like this

Type: disturbing? angst

Warning: no power-au, kidnapping, drugged Kara and creepy reader

word count: ~1300

It's from Kara's POV

Why did it seem so real? Why couldn't I get rid of the feeling of her hands on me? She was so perfect, yet she was full of flaws. It was impossible for me to remember why I fell for her. Maybe it was her eyes the first time she looked at me. Maybe it was her voice when she talked to me. Or even her hair (god, I love her hair). And her cute face too. She was full of qualities. At least until this thing started between us.

Everything started like any other relationship. I was mesmerised by her look and her personality, so I decided to ask her out. She gladly accepted, and it was like she had waited for a long time. It was a little weird, but I let it slide.

Then one date became two, then three, and much more. Three months later, we were officially formalising our relationship after we had good sex at her place. She was caring, lovely, and never pushed me more than necessary. So when did everything start to go insane?

Well, actually, I already knew the answer. It was a random Wednesday; we were out for a date, and then we met my friend Lena. That’s when I noticed that she became weird. Her behaviour towards Lena was a little aggressive. I decided not to really question that because I thought that it was just some misplaced jealous act. But then it happened again. Did it really happen more, or did I just start to notice her true self from this moment?

After Lena, she acted weird, even around my family. It was something that my sister, Alex, tried to talk to me about. But at this time, I was too enamoured by her to even notice that her worries were justified. I meant, my mom loved her, and for me, it was enough. 

She was making me happy. She treated me like a princess, always caring, making love with pure love in every act, and she put even more affection in the aftercare. It seemed like I was always her priority, but after some months, I started to find it a little weird too.

Of course, I talked to her about how she was slowly babying me and how it started to annoy me, but I still reminded her that I still loved her. For me, it was not a big deal, but it was a discussion that we needed to have. To her, otherwise, it was…heartbreaking? At least that was what she said between her sobs. She cried that day because I told her that I could take care of myself?

I found it weird, and I talked about it with Alex and Lena. They agreed on something: I should start to let her go. Leave her before she took total control of my mind. They seemed to notice how everything would go, but they didn’t want to scare me, I guess. But for me, nothing could go wrong: it was Y/n, the same lovely and caring woman I met that day. Or maybe it was what I said to myself because I was afraid that they might be right.

Despite our conversations, she still acted like usual. Never leaving my side until it was needed. Always trying to take care of me, even if I could do things on my own. She was slowly transforming me into her little doll. After some weeks, she started to choose how I would dress when we had a date, and before it could go too far, I decided to step in.

I remember that we had a huge argument about how she was suffocating me. But like usual, she started to cry. If I wasn't so angry, maybe I would fall for that, but not this day. I grabbed my keys and left with the promise to come back only when she would be more mature and responsible enough to talk like proper adults. That day I drove to Alex’s house, and then I explained everything to her and how it started to be suffocating and scary to live with Y/n. The night I slept in the spare bedroom, even if I was still angry with Y/n, I couldn’t help but miss her. I was still in love after all.

Then a week passed, and she finally texted me, saying that she took some time and that she was finally ready to talk about it. Even if something in me screamed to stay away from her, I still needed to come back to her apartment to at least take some clothes if I had to stay longer at my sister's.

Surprisingly, for me, she seemed to have some stain of tears on her cheeks when she opened the door. She guided me to the couch and brought two cups of tea. I took a sip, and then we both started to talk. But less than five minutes later, I felt myself becoming more and more tired. I called her name just before collapsing on the couch.

Now there I was, somewhere far from home, chained to a bed in a bedroom that I didn’t recognise. 

“Oh, finally, you’re awake. I started to think that I put too much drug in your cup.” There she was, with a creepy smile on her face. It was the first time that I saw her like that. “I know you should have a lot of questions right now, and I will answer them, but before that…” She climbed in her bed next to me and immediately cuddled with my body as if her life depended; she inhaled my scent and left a sloppy kiss on my neck. “I missed that. I missed you.”

I tried to scream, but I noticed that any attempt was shut off by a cloth she put in my mouth. “Oh, sorry, I almost forgot that.” She said before freeing my mouth.

“Get out of me you psycho bitch!” I yelled while trying to get rid of the bed. She just ignored me and kept her face pressed against my chest. “Y/n, I don’t know what type of shit you’re doing right now, but you need to back off and let me go.”

“Why? So you can leave me again?” She snapped for the first time since I knew her. “Sorry to yell, but you need to understand that I can’t let you go, Kara. I love you, and I know you do too. You’re just getting corrupted by your sister and Lena. But it’s okay; these bitches will not be able to mess with you anymore. It’s just you and me against the world.” Her sweet tone made shivers run through my entire body.

“What do you mean, Y/n?” I asked.

She raised her head and looked at me with a wide smile. “They will never find us; I mean, we left the country a few days from now.”

“What do you mean, Y/n? Where are we?” I asked, more panicked.

“Greece. I told you that my dad had a house here, and he was more than happy to let us live there from now.” From her facial expression, it was not a lie, which meant that I couldn’t go back home? No, it’s impossible. I had a whole life back in the US.

Seeing the tears running down on my cheeks, a wide smile appeared on her face. “It’s okay, Kara. I’m here, and I will not leave you.” I wanted to throw up, scream, and maybe punch her, but I couldn't do anything about that. I couldn’t stop crying.

“I know that the change can be weird at first, but it’s okay, I will help you with that. I will never leave your side.” She pressed her lips against my cheeks.

Why everything was happening to me? Why did it have to be me? She was so lovely, and so caring, I started to dream about a future with her. Why did she need to ruin everything?

[mx-loar-tev]

After the storm.

(SuperCorp wedding)

Read here on ao3

"They wanted forever. That was what Kara had said the first time she asked Lena to marry her, that she wanted forever with her. She had explained what a Kryptonian marriage entailed. That an union could never be broken. That their souls would always be bonded. To Lena who had had everything ripped from her at some point, it sounds like the rarest magic. It had frightened her. She had almost ran away, because it had felt too good to be true. But it had been Kara, Kara asking her to bond for eternity, Kara who had never lost faith in her even when Lena hadn't been sure if she had been on the right side of morality. So she had said yes.

Then a xenophobic terrorist had attacked the Foundation."

Or,

The wedding fic with a twist no one asked for.(No one asked for the twist. Bc the wedding had been requested)

[anonfandombandit]

NEW Chapter 11 Posted

Lena Luthor moves LuthorCorp’s HQ to National City with the sole aim of meeting, collaborating with, and potentially befriending, two people: Supergirl and K Elzörn.

One is a world-saving alien superhero, the cousin of the Kryptonian her now-incarcerated brother tried to kill. The other is an elusive genius astro-particle physicist publishing under a pseudonym, who Lena is desperate to track down.

She has massive crushes on both of them. (And Cat Grant can’t resist meddling.)

Never in her wildest dreams would Lena have imagined that they might be the same woman.

Chapter 11/18 Posted

[comic-book-jawns]

Signs

Kara knows the looks she would get if she were to say she feels protective of Lena Luthor.

On account of not only her boss’s last name but also her boss being a 23-year-old billionaire CEO and Kara a 26-year-old English major who failed to find a job in her field, clearly.

Not that Kara can scoff at what she makes as her assistant, more than enough to be called a corporate sell-out.

The point is Kara knows how it sounds. Alex’s eye rolls paint a more than sufficient picture. But she just… she doesn’t care.

And, yes, she knows that’s an easy claim to make without actually putting herself on the line. In her defense, she tried.

Her second week on the job when she heard two fellow assistants badmouthing her boss over coffee at the lobby cafe. And while she hadn’t been looking for brownie points, of course, she could only assume she’d earned them when Lena had called her into her office at the end of the day.

Boy, had she been wrong.

In fact, it was how she’d realized the curt tone her boss had been using up to that point had actually been her idea of friendly.

“Your duty is to L-Corp, not to me.”

“But I’m your assistant.”

“Yes, because I need assistance. Not a cheerleader.”

Kara’s face had burned as she murmured her apologies and assurances that it wouldn’t happen again, and she was already backing toward the door when Lena dismissed her.

She’d been fortunate enough to make it inside the elevator before the tears started, and that was where her luck had run out.

A tan hand caught the doors just as before they could close, and Kara had scrambled to wipe her face as she was met with a warm smile that promptly turned to a frown.

“Kara? What’s wrong?”

In her state, she hadn’t registered until later that it was remarkable the CFO she’d been introduced to along with the rest of the exec board on her first day remembered her name.

She’d also been unable to do more than mumble nonsense about getting her period early, which had sort of been an achievement actually given how terrible she is at lying on the spot — to her sister’s perpetual chagrin when they were teenagers.

Not that Sam bought her excuse. Kara wasn’t that naive. Though her sincerity as she wished Kara well had been unmistakable. And then, she’d abruptly let the elevator doors go without getting in.

The next morning, when Kara walked into Noonan’s to pick up Lena’s coffee, she’d been promptly steered off course, by a hand gripping her upper arm like she was misbehaving child, toward a table for two in the back.

“Can I get anything else for you, Ms. Luthor?”

Her boss had glanced up from her phone long enough to offer a polite hint of a smile to the barista.

“No, thank you, Nia.”

Kara remembered feeling like she could hear her friend vibrating as she bounced back to the counter.

“You know Nia?”

“I know how to read a name tag.”

In hindsight, Kara knows the dryness of Lena’s tone had been playful. But in the moment, it had just felt like salt on the wound of Lena jabbing at her phone again.

“Right. Of course.”

Kara was busy smoothing the non-existent pleats on her khakis when Lena had looked up.

“I’m sorry.”

And there was that nagging instinct again when she’d met Lena’s uncharacteristically troubled gaze as she placed her phone on the table, face down, and stiffly gestured to the drink, cinnamon sugar twist on a plate and chair opposite her.

“Please sit, Ms. Danvers.”

They’d proceed to sit in silence for probably 20 seconds at most. But Kara had never been known for her patience... especially when there was food in front to her.

“Ms. Luthor, you don’t—”

“I do. I need to apologize for how I behaved last night.”

And, yeah, Kara had known her boss wasn’t exactly wrong. That she would have said the same in her place. But Kara was — well, frankly she wasn’t used to being apologized to.

Alex’s go-to apology is also a cinnamon sugar twist — in lieu of the actual apology.

“I don’t need to explain.”

There was a sheepish twist to her lips, a blink-and-you-miss-it slip of youth.

“But I am truly sorry.”

Kara had thought of her sister’s words from the night before: this is what you signed up for working for a Luthor.

And she’d smiled.

“Thank you, Ms. Luthor.”

“Lena, please.”

That had gotten Kara to blink. Even with their age difference, she hadn’t thought anything of the formality. After all, she hadn’t heard anyone address the CEO any other way. Not to her face.

“To you. It’s Lena to you.”

But Kara isn’t one for formalities for the sake of them, either. So she’d eagerly stuck out her hand.

“Kara.”

That was the first time she had made Lena smile, bemused as she’d returned the handshake.

It was also the first time she’d eaten breakfast on the L-Corp dime. But it wouldn’t be the last.

“Coffee and a donut is not embezzlement, Kara.”

Lena had gleaned from Nia that Kara always put her own order on her personal card, and was quite on set on it not happening again, apparently having assumed Kara understood that Lena didn’t expect her to fend for herself while she was doing her a favor.

“What about two donuts?”

That was the first time she had made Lena laugh. But also not the last.

And looking out for Lena? That’s not gonna be a one-time thing either.

***

“Lena, you’re needed in the lab. I’m afraid it’s urgent.”

If Kara’s face wasn’t enough, the heat that instantly pools in her stomach at her assistant confidently interrupting a board meeting and calling her by her first name in front of a room of old men who don’t is quite the parry to the anxiety threatening to tear her at the seams.

Not much more than it usually is in these necessary evils. But usually she has Sam at her side, ready and more than willing to jump in when Lena asks.

“So what’s the fire?” In fact, Lena’s breathing is nearing her baseline semblance of normal as the elevator doors close. “It’s not an actual fire, is it?”

She’s only half-joking. They have a containment system, of course. But that would really be the last thing she needs right now.

Kara’s smile has her unclenching her hands, even as her breathing stutters a little.

“No. It’s nothing, actually. It just looked like you needed a breather.”

And then they’re clenching with a vengeance as she ironically exhales harshly through her nose.

She may not have gotten to where she is two weeks out from 24 without her brother going insane. But she didn’t get here by being coddled either.

Which is what she’s about to explain, Luthor genes overriding the fact that it’s Kara she’s talking to.

Until movement catches her eye. A hand. Kara’s hand rubbing in a circle over her buttoned-up chest.

“Please, right?”

Lena stops breathing altogether.

“I’ve noticed the only times Sam speaks up in board meetings are when she’s spoken to… or when you do that.”

It’s true. If by that, Kara means Lena’s purposefully poor imitation of the sign. Hell, half the time she doesn’t even do it over her chest. Brushing exposed cleavage would rather counteract the subtlety.

“And I, umm - I had a speech delay when I - after my parents died.”

Lena breathes in sharply, like she had when Sam called her out over lunch yesterday for not knowing when Kara’s birthday is.

“I used Sign exclusively until I was four.”

Kara’s voice is quiet but steady. Her cheeks are rosier than usual, though, when the elevator chimes and she faces forward.

Lena doesn’t.

“Sometimes I still do when it gets too…”

“Yeah.”

Kara glances back at her, eyebrows raised slightly. As if she’s surprised by the admission. Despite how they got on the topic in the first place.

And then the doors start to open, and Kara darts forward, fingers hovering over the close button.

“Do you want to go back up?”

Lena shakes her head.

[lespetitesmortsde]

Lena survives yet another assassination attempt and has a comparably mild depressive spiral. Kara refuses to leave her to wallow alone.

Day 16 of Supercorptober 2024. Prompt: Karma

[pigeonp0st]

Wow, I just finished reading your most recent piece with Kara and it was really well done. You mentioned the idea of immortality in that and wondered how that could be used in a different piece perhaps. Kara (Plus Alex and the others) possibly finding out that reader is immortal and has been for a long time. (As a sort of headconnon or what not. I’d presume reader would be running a personally owned company, as big if not bigger than L-Corp. What with having a long time to amass wealth)

Kara Danvers X Reader

Summary:

Reader reveals she’s immortal to the super friends. Kara comforts her.

warnings:

Angst

Notes:

Thanks for the request! Sorry for taking so long. It being shorter is the sacrifice I’ve made to return to writing, but I hope you enjoy anyways!

——

It’s game night that the super friends find out about my immortality.

It comes out when Lena says she’s been looking into my company, wanting to buy it. She mentions curiously that it says I’m the founder, when it’s well known my company has been around for nearly a hundred years.

And, well…It comes out then, because you’ve stopped being secretive about it when it stopped being something you had to be secretive about…

They know now— of my immortality, and though I should feel relief at the being known, of the truth I’ve not done much to hide revealing itself, all I feel is discontent. Discontent and unsatisfied, unsatisfied because the agony and empathy in their eyes is lackluster. They know now, and even as they try to understand they’re incapable of it.

I am immortal, and yet I have lived a thousand lives in my one everlasting one. There’s so much devastation in every end when you’ve had countless of new beginnings. I do best in the in between where l don’t have to face either beginning or end. It’s in the start of something new that every fiber of my being screams for stop.

Getting used to something doesn’t mean it gets easier, in the same way grief often works. I am constantly grieving my lives, and it’s become a heavy burden they could never understand.

It hurts in a way I hadn’t accounted for. With the coming of Superman, the rise of aliens, the new acceptance of them—there’s a rise of difference, and in that alternative community. It makes you feel better, this new life. It’s given you more hope of being understood than ever before, but to be faced with your friend’s sympathetic eyes, it all feels lackluster.

Even more so when Winn makes a nerdy comment about wanting to know the truth about history. Everyone laughs, laughs and leaves me alone in the same instant.

I laugh along, searching for connection and finding none. Disappointment was the backside of the renewed hope this life has given me. I felt intensely that there was no point in explaining any of anything that had ever happened for me. To reject them that would allow me the dignity of being not understood on my own terms.

It is better to be alone by yourself, than to be alone surrounded by people after all.

Karas eyes meet mine. She’s sitting by Alex and Lena’s feet. Her and Lena the only ones not laughing, trying to lighten the mood. Lena gives me an apologetic smile, on behalf of the others. There’s connection there.

Kara…Kara just goes distant. Goes distant then, and then goes distant the rest of the game night. It’s when everyones leaving and she stops me, I understand, or accept really; it was because of me. What I said.

I’d been hoping I wouldn’t have to speak on it ever again, regret like acid still in my stomach.

“You…” Kara pauses, searches my eyes—for what, I don’t know. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

She must sense the way this kills me from the way I wince, because she pulls me into a hug. A hug full of emotion. It shatters me in a way, because it feels like permission. Permission to fall apart.

I can’t, I’ve learned. Know now that if I start, I’ll never stop. All I can do is use logic as avoidance from my heart, and move forward with something resembling acceptance.

I pull away.

“Superman, you, all the aliens, the Meta-Humans, all of you have stretched the definition of what we call ‘humanity’, what we call ‘heart’, and yet still I feel like it escapes me.” It aches as I admit it—feels like a terrible, stupid thing.

Stupid because I have lived so long and yet still, here I am, so agonizingly affected. There are things I know, things I’ve learned, and they all mean nothing.

Kara shakes her head, eyebrows furrowed. She rejects it all. “That very thing inside of that feels different, alone in your experience, that is the very thing that actually connects you to humanity,” Kara says, her eyes soft and understanding.

Understanding in this, in this that she can understand. My heart quickens, I watch Kara, think of hope. Think of her.

Kara who has lost her whole world, her whole culture, who has taken her past and her aloneness and had become a hero, instead of something much darker. “Is there anyone like you, Kara?” I ask. It’s perhaps the question that has tormented her, the way it torments me— “is there anyone like me?”— but I say it like a gift. With reverence.

She is different, inexplicably so. It’s the best thing about her. Kara smiles shyly, looks down, fixes her glasses. “There’s you,” she whispers, “with an aloneness not anyone in this world could understand.”

There’s something about her saying it as it is that settles something inside of you.

“To feel so alone, and have it be the very thing that connects me, and in actuality makes me not alone,” l muse, somehow impressed. There’s not a life that has taught me more than the one with Kara.

There’s a gratitude inside me larger than all the life I’ve lived.

Kara grins, she pulls me in again. Hugs me tight. “I’m sorry about Alex asking to recruit you,” she whispers after a while. I let her words be the thing that has me pulling away, despite Kara’s pout at it.

I smile hesitantly, waving away Kara’s apology. “When Superman showed up it had me thinking about it, but my immortality has been taken advantage of before, and not being able to die isn’t as strong of a power as you might think,” I admit, “I’m not as strong as you’d think.”

Kara gives me a disbelieving look. My defensiveness looks like guilt to her, I know. It is. It’s guilt and fear. I’d want nothing more than to make this forever mean something, but I’m plagued by all of its consequences.

She lets me get away with the things left unsaid, thankfully. In my gratefulness I decide not to ask about her own prolonged life, despite my ongoing curiosity.

I know it’s a sensitive topic. There’s almost all of me that hurts for her, and then there’s a small part of me that thinks; I can live with her longer.

Supergirl, Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-el; my love.

I cough, adjust my bag over my shoulder, and step away. I know I have to before I kiss her in the dim lighting of her apartment, in the body that gets the honor to live alongside her. “See you tomorrow, Supergirl?”

Kara nods, eyes dark. She bites her lip, looks away with a flush. “Yep. One hundred percent. Lunch, right? Right. Yeah. I’ll be there,” Kara confirms, turning an even darker red at my responding eyebrow raise.

“Yeah,” I say, amused. “I’ll be there too. Wouldn’t miss it for my life.”

Kara laughs. Fills your heart for lifetimes with it. You leave with the hope of tomorrow, and the sound of her laugh.

[unknownbard]

Synopsis: Kara’s fond of Hawaiian shirts and a certain vampire Slayre who’s not so fond of her. Mortal enemies forced to work together to face a scarier enemy, what could ever go wrong?

Her head snapped up to glare at the source of her annoyance, only to encounter the deepest blue eyes she had ever seen, paired with a handsome face framed by long, blonde curls. The woman wore an extremely vile and overly bright Hawaiian shirt; it was so distracting that Lena couldn't be bothered to hide her distaste.

“What is that abomination you’re wearing?”

The blonde jut out her bottom lip in a frankly comical pout. Lena headbutted the stupid look off the woman’s lips and caught a glimpse of unmistakable sharp fangs as the vampyr’s head snapped back from the force of the hit.

Lena then adopted a loose fighting stance that would have made J’onn sigh at the sight of it. Weak defense, he’d surely have said. Her eyes fixed intently on the woman before her, and she observed how the blonde bounced back from the blow with surprising speed. Fingertips brushed against a nose that should have been broken, and there was an air of fondness for the Slayre’s strength rather than any sign of pain from the impact.

[jadedloverart]

Call To Retreat

Concept art for Queen of the Damned

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