#anything more complex than that..
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recently been seeing (and seeking) more info on moral ocd and its like wellll it does seem like i definitely have that but talking about the stuff i obsess over w my psychiatrist feels impossible bc i cant admit to thinking about it without feeling like a horrible person, so im just gonna keep sweeping it under the rug lol....
#97#i also do not trust psychiatrists to correctly diagnose me unless i specifically tell them like.#about symptoms that are So Obviously caused by one illness that they basically cant get it wrong if theyre competent#any psych couldve diagnosed my did if theyre not of the 'did doesnt exist' camp bc i exhibit v clear symptoms of it#anything more complex than that..#eg. on my disability paperwork im marked down as having a 'profound personality disorder'#im not diagnosed with Any personality disorder.#im diagnosed w schizoaffective bipolar + did + adhd#alongside suspected ptsd + suspected anxiety disorder + undiagnosed ed (psych isnt specialized enough to diagnose it)#and on a waitlist for autism diagnosis#which one of these is the personality disorder?? they just say shit#i want to ask but i have this paranoid fear that my psych doesnt believe in my schizoaffective diagnosis#(hes not the one who made it) and im afraid that if i ask abt diagnosis hell like.#essentially deny the issues i have and have put so much effort into recognizing and accepting as real#and instead diagnose me w something i evidently dont have like bpd#the only way i could see my schizoaffective dx being wrong is if i have schizoid pd tho so maybe i rly should ask#bc its difficult to tell for myself whether what i refer to as delusions may be 'magical beliefs' under schizoid pd#but then again i think some of them are too extreme to be that??
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[ID in ALT] I've made posts before about Talia/Dick co-parenting Damian moments (will never happen but let me dream) and this came to me in a vision. Took me ages to finish for some reason 😭 and then even longer to post
#dc comics#dc#damian wayne#dick grayson#talia al ghul#batfamily#dc robin#nightwing#anyway. yes im a self-indulgent ''dick as damians secret third parent'' truther#like i DO think it's way more complex and nuanced than the schmoopy affectionate fan portrayal of it#they're brothers they're father and son they're partners they're the dynamic duo except only in past tense etc etc#but consider! I'm not immune to schmoopy affection in fanworks. it compells me despite itself#anyway it's technically not that crazy when it comes to dick and damian. they hug! often! at least they did#it's not as big a leap to these types of scenarios#also talia ''somewhat absent for complex reasons on both her and damians part but very loving and loved by her son'' al ghul#you will always be famous to me#son of the demon origin...bwahhh#anyway. someone made a comic kind of like this/like a post i made abt this topic#but way funnier bc dick and talia starting trying to beat each other up#so go look at that as well#anyway. it's been a somewhat difficult few weeks so I'm. desperately trying to take it easy#i got some reading with me (first vol of kevin smiths GA run that i found second hand and jaimes BB run vol 2!)#so we'll see how far i get through those. considering there's demons in my head telling me to re-read things (LET ME OUT!!!)#when i finish GA and BB i do plan on rereading robin 2021. as a treat to myself#it's a run I've really warmed up to as time went on#I'm keeping up w/ the current b&r run even though it is. admittedly very slow w/ some weird dialogue#i read it for the damian content more than anything. also nikas back so that's neat :]#idk I have a feeling that after absolute power shakes out we might get some more creative team switch ups#so if anyone at dc is interested in taking over the reigns on b&r...that could be very neat#mine
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New raid mechanic just dropped guardians go back to your math class
disgusting stuff below.
ykw if the warlock remembered just enough about the relation of fourier series with function inner product space he can indeed do that in his head.
we define our function inner product space C[0, 2π] with a set of functions continuous in range [0, 2π], and the inner product of two functions in this space f, g ∈ C[0, 2π] is defined as ∫f(x)g(x)dx (integrated in [0, 2π]). note that the functions in set S = {cos(nπ) | ∀ n∈ ℕ} ∪ {sin(nπ) | ∀ n∈ ℕ} are orthogonal to each other in this space, and all of them has squared norm π, so you can just match the terms with the same function and sum them up. in this case only 6cos3x on the left and 5cos3x on the right can match, along with the divide by π, the final answer is 6 × 5 = 30. another example is ∫ (3cos(x) + 4cos(2x) + 6cos(3x))(-cos(x) + 5cos(3x) + 18cos(5x)) dx (integrated in [0, 2π]) = (6 × 5 + 3 × (-1))π = 27π.
don't actually do that tho it's just a trivia.
#i don't play raid so every mechanic is basically this level of complexity anyways#i used the gaussian integral in another post so i gotta come up with another mildly interesting integral for this#i was not even finished there but if i talk more i would spend more time on that than the actual art lol#i am not normal#im glad this is my blog so i can do anything i want#destiny 2#destiny warlock#destiny hunter#destiny titan#destiny guardians#destiny 2 art#my art
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i actually really hate those posts where everyone is like "ough oigh i would have died in 1600 because of [reason]" like its annoying and its actually fucking sad how so many of you seem to view the past and the people in it. Autistic people in the past had full and happy lives. Jewish people in the past had full and happy lives. You would not have been "burned as a witch" for having adhd, you have a persecution complex thats deeply annoying and ahistorical. The lives of marginalised people in the past were not just strife and suffering and dying violently and frankly its offensive that yall keep trying to reduce it down to such. Why are you so obsessed with erasing the spectrum of human existence why are you so obsessed with erasing joy why are you so obsessed with denying the capacity for marginalised people to have been happy
#like STOP omg#also im sorry its weirdddd how yall want to have died in 1400 or whatever so bad#its like how now. youll see ppl without life threatening conditions have this complex where they wanna have smth that can kill them sooo ba#its very very weird#and again. more importantly its fucking offensive like why do you think a young jewish girl in medieval times could not possibly ...#...experience anything other than suffering. its fetishistic is what it is#ceci says stuff#rant#100#200#300
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hanging out by the sea moment. sea not pictured
[alinua and kendal are from @comicaurora]
#aurora webcomic#alinua#kendal#art#fanart#digital art#the original plan was to draw this scene but in a way where i can practice environment drawing#but I never seem to have the time or spoons for that#and right now im too rusty to draw anything more complex than pretty hair u_u#needed some soft friendship art for my soul
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hi it’s me again. i forgot to add this to my other ask because it is So funny to me that your ashswag is some kind of deity god thing and my squiddo is some kind of eldritch god herobrine thing. like they are swapped…. and my ashswag is just. sad trauma guy. i pathetic-wet-cat-ified him.
The dualities of peoples interpretations of ash swag...... but rheyre always friends so ^-^ YAY YAY !
#mcyt#asks#ashswag#squiddo#i loaf them. watched new squiddo vids. very fun#my ash is more like a full body robot made to vessel something larger than human. so he has a bit of a god complex.... as you do.....#hes pathetic he just doesnt look like it. he tries sooo hard to act like hes better than human#but his emotions and feelings and hopes and dreams and friendships are so so very human. makes him more human than anything else#squiddos a little mechanical bug :3 a very simple man but they would kill gods for funsies? teehee giggle!
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this quote about cordyceps from this article in a scientific magazine is basically how i've always imagined possession to work in horror stories. the demon/entity/whatever doesn't alter your perception, displace you, or control your mind, they just take over all your bodily processes, bypassing your brain entirely. they force your mouth and vocal cords to form the words they want you to say, force your limbs to move in the direction they want you to go, and force your lungs to keep expanding and contracting and your heart to keep beating, even through excruciating pain and horrific injury, so you can't even self-sabotage and your friends and loved ones are discouraged from trying to stop you for fear of what harm they might cause you to do to yourself to escape. you're a passenger in the driver's seat of your own car, and the hands on the wheel, though outwardly apparently the same pair you've always had, are no longer your own.
#🐉#self harm mention#idk what to tag this tbh i was just like heheheheheheh possession horror and made a post#horror#demonic possession#lmk if theres anything else you want me to add#this also ties into my speculative designs for angels and demons as more machinelike than humanlike#why try to hack something as complex and prone to error and randomness as the brain when you can just override a simpler sytem the body?
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something i can't stop thinking about is the fact that Percy Jackson started as a comfort story for Rick's son to show him that his adhd and dyslexia doesn't have to be just a bad thing and the fandom then took Percy and Leo and made them into these stupid idiots that don't even know basic math or "big" words and wouldn't be able to even tie their shoelaces without someone else's (someone smarter's) help
don't yall see how fucked up that is? a big part of this fandom has adhd and/or dyslexia and/or other learning disabilities/neurodivergence and find comfort in those characters. they are called lazy and stupid all the time and then yall decided to take characters with those disabilities and ignore their inteligence and made them into something they are not just because their adhd is more "visible" (read more stereotypical looking) (even tho that's not true either because the fandom made them into chaotic gremlins but in reality Percy is more just sarcastic and snarky and even that is more just his internal monologue for his own amusment and to cope and Leo just uses humor as a coping mechanism to hide his depression and other issues but that's a discussion for another time)
Percy is canonically very smart and strategic. no he isn't very good at school. it's what happens when you're neurodivergent and have learning disabilities. that doesn't mean he's stupid. no he doesn't know everything about greek mythology and that doesn't make him stupid either. but when Annabeth tells him the myth he is very good at coming up with strategies and how to win a fight. he's not smart as Annabeth because Annabeth is literally a daughter of the goddess of wisdom so stop fucking comparing them. are you also going to call Annabeth weak and incapable because she can't control water? no you won't because that's fucking stupid. and Leo. fucking Leo. is literally canonically a mathematic genius and also genius when it comes building stuff. they're both smart. they're not fucking stupid. they know and understand words that are longer than 5 letters. no they do not struggle with basic knowledge. they're not fucking stupid.
and miss me with the "it's just a joke" bullshit
jokes are supposed to be funny
and it's not just a joke for many of you because the number of fanfics where they are written in exactly this way is too fucking high. it's actually surprising to find a fanfic where they are written right
in conclusion: the way this fandom portrays Percy and Leo is reinforcing the harmful misconception that people with adhd and/or other learning disabilities are stupid and i hate it with a burning passion
call me sensitive all you want i'll gladly accept it i will rather be called sensitive for hating that those characters are being treated this way than follow the fandoms harmful idea about them
thank you for coming to my ted talk <3
#i know no one will read this and if someone does they will just tell me that it's not that deep#but i just needed to get it out finally because this thing has been pissing me off for years now#also i'm not saying that they are actually always serious and never do anything goofy#they do#because surprise surprise they're complex characters that have more than one mood and characteristic#but it's not at all at the same level or the same way as their fanon versions#pjo series#pjo#hoo#percy jackson#leo valdez#percy jackon and the olympians#heroes of olympus#but at the end of the day i guess this is just my opinion and you don't have to agree 👍��
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Kai Winn is wrapped in so many terribly layered flaws and shortcomings, and they all make sense, because even at her worst you can still see the core of her: a frightened and powerless woman who begged the prophets to grant her guidance and strength through suffering, and who was ignored and looked over at every turn, pushing her to seek power of her own volition, clinging to whatever she can to make her feel strong and in control.
#star trek#star trek ds9#winn adami#kai winn#.her actor is incredible btw bc she sells the cruelty and the moments of genuine vulnerability with complete sincerity.#.i don't know if i actually hate winn or not. i would if she were REAL but that's a pathetic metric to measure by.#.she grates on me because of how nuanced and real she feels.#.i am grateful her character exists and that she is played so skillfully and allowed to be a complex person.#.i think i end up feeling sorry for her more than anything. which i think she would hate more than being hated actually.#.i have a backlog of winn fic i need to read hhhhhh. she's such a fascinating character i need to dig into her psyche more.
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y'all need to get a grip. you blab all day about how much you hate bigots and hateful people and how evil it is to dehumanize anyone and then you turn around and say "kys" and "i think [x] should all just kill themselves" and other disgusting, violent and childish trash
so many people on here are just full of hatred and vitriol and turn into frenzied sharks anytime the target 'deserves it' and they think they can get away with it and not be called bad people. then they whine about how sad it is that we can't all just get along and if only all the evil people in the world would stop doing evil things wouldn't that be nicer
you're just as vicious, hypocritical and fanatically puritanical as the caricature you have made in your minds of the people you think you have nothing in common with. if you've ever told someone, ANYONE to kill themselves you're not advocates of justice, you're not artisans of peace, and you certainly don't have any moral high ground that would allow you to pass judgment on others
#i'm tired#you're so terrified of being bad people that you convince yourselves you could *never* be bad#and then any expression of hatred towards others (the “bad people”) gets reframed as proof of your own moral character#((making you even more afraid of being bad because you don't want to be at the receiving end of the hatred and so on and so forth))#you can say whatever you want about religious people and esp christians but 1) you're as religious as they are but at least they know it#and 2) most of the christians i've met are magnitudes more forgiving of others than this website's self-righteous preachers#(this isn't about anything people have said to me btw it's about what i see reading blogs from all across the social/political spectrum)#this about the radfem-hating liberals and the pro-life-hating radfems and the liberal-hating pro-lifers. Round and round we go#it’s about the people who put rabid antisemitism on my dash and whose only socio-political analysis is to call EVERYTHING bad#“Just like nazism”#Yapping about how much more moral and enlightened they are than ppl who introduce nuance into complex topics while they parrot slogans#I hate slogans so bad
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If you look at jewish people voicing their concerns about antisemitism as anything close to a "victim complex," you're just an antisemite, like... How do two THOUSAND PLUS years of antisemitism around the globe sail over your head so easily.
#jumblr#judaism#jewish politics#personal thoughts tag#antisemitism tw#i've been seeing so much antisemitism and antisemetic downplaying of anything jews say concern them and it's like.#this isn't even really ABOUT anything more specific than 'every time jews voice their concerns they're called victim complex havers'#i wonder what would give the impression that jews have been victims before. hm. wonder what made them (soon us) so worried for millenia#it doesn't feel appropriate to say 'us' yet but it's also just... hard not to sometimes you know?#so if it comes across like i'm saying it's 'us' when right now it isn't... yeah i'm sorry#i am just... really frusterated about all of this and i know it's something you almost 'get used to' but it still fucks with me
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Somebody, agitated- Were you held as a child, or are y-
Dragon, coolly- No, I wasn’t.
I’d like to think garp and dragon were actually very close especially when dragon was young. Garp would hold him, maybe not always in the way Dragon needed. But the love was never in question.
I also believe they had a massive falling out (Dragon leaving Luffy) and never recovered
#do I think garp is questionable?#yes#do I think he loved his son more than anything?#absolutely#idk complex characters compel me#monkey d dragon#monkey d garp#my asks
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day 100
genres of magical girl
#day 100#year 5#jade harley#roxy lalonde#rose lalonde#june egbert#homestuck#this is a wip im gonna clean it up and add some others but this is as far as i got tonight SO! this is what yall get#im trying to let myself post more unfinished stuff instead of like#putting pressure on myself to put out a finished work every single day#i think it's been kinda stifling my ideas lately & keeping me from doing anything like#more complex or time consuming than can be achieved on an average weeknight??#and that sucks and is NOT the point of the blog#or even the practice of doing daily art stuff anyway
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update on submas beta content search. there's no beta versions of their teams, they were added exactly the same as the finals. (there was actually a bug where every battle subway pokemon was the pokemon before it in the pokedex, meaning they had the unevolved forms of all their pokemon for a short time. but that clearly wasnt intended.)
also looking at their dialogue. it goes straight from placeholder to the final lines. but the placeholder stuff is kinda neat. placeholder lines are from message > scr > tower_trainer.gmm, and include: "Come on, show me your skills as a Subway Master!"
"It was a great match! Please come again!"
"If I lost to a great trainer like you, I understand!"
"We meet again!" the actual file looks like this so uhm. yeah.
all the placeholder lines were used for both ingo and emmet, before being replaced by their final lines throughout april 2010. idk whats even left to find at this point. but i will keep doing so until its clear there truly is nothing left. my notes are a little crazy looking lol.
#teraleak#pokemon#submas#i attempted to look at pla now that its being released but. switch decomp is just so much more complex than ds#i have no idea how to get anything to open ;-;#so absolutely wringing bw dry it is
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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,
Anime:
GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)
VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!
Manga:
GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.
#dbtag#I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd#Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao#they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of#Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT#Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants#to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies#They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted#He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok#He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be#because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that#Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt#+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow#realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat#you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here#And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship#and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there#you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad#anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay#And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe
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maybe its just me but i cant stand when people are like "it just doesn't sit right with me how teruhashi thought about aiura 🥺" like yes... its not supposed to ??? because her thinking badly of other girls and prioritizing male validation over everything is one of her main flaws ??? can we talk about that WITHOUT making it seem like shes not allowed to have a single actual flaw without suddenly becoming an awful person? nobody can handle complex female characters at all and its so fucking annoying
#you guys all missed the point of her development AND her and saiki's relationship development#like did you miss the parts where the only times he genuinely seems to not like something she does is when shes mean to other girls#and he still understands that she isnt a bad person for having bad thoughts in the private comfort of her mind#and besides... in this case she was literally just being a dramatic and insecure teenage girl LMAO#like dont fucking lie to me and tell me when you were her age you didnt have similar thoughts#youre worse than her if you lie about it while judging her for it#sorryyyy#she shouldve been MORE unhinged youre all just cowards#AND ALSO ? how can something even be 'mean' if its just a thought#thats like if u opened ur friends private diary without permission and then unfriended them over something they said in a random upset vent#and in this specific situation if u found out ur friend called someone a bitch because they liked the same person as her ??#LIKE THATS ?? its bad but its not as crazy as you guys make it out to be#shes allowed to be angry and insecure in the privacy of HER OWN MIND#idk if this makes sense but i just feel that her thoughts are more of a concern about her wellbeing than anything else#like she canonically is extremely kind to others even when she doesnt want to be so why are we worried about how she treats others.#theyre fine. im worried about HER.#and WHY her mindset is so negative... but u guys dont give a shit because u cant handle even a spec of complexity#sorry ive said all this before i just like to rant#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#teruhashi kokomi#meows post
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