#culture abuse
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Bee Kind To The Bugs - Culture Abuse
#aesthetic#mint aesthetic#mint green aesthetic#mint green#mint#green aesthetic#green#pastel aesthetic#pastel green aesthetic#pastel green#song aesthetic#lyrics#song lyrics#lyrics aesthetics#culture abuse#everything is queue#self care
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The world exists in such a baffling state of simultaneous sex-aversion and sex-hegemony. Every social platform on the internet is trying to banish sex workers to the shadow realm but I can't post a tweet without at least two bots replying P U S S Y I N B I O. People are self-censoring sex to seggs and $3× but every other ad you see is still filled with half-naked women. Rightwingers want queer people arrested for so much as existing in the same postal code as a child and are also drumming up a moral panic about how teenage boys aren't getting laid enough. I feel like I'm losing my mind.
#it's bad if you want i have sex it's also bad if you DON'T want to have sex#god forbid if you're a woman in a heterosexual marriage and aren't in the mood#that's 'withholding sex' and you're clearly abusive scum who should be divorced and left without any of your shared assets.#but if you DO have sex now you're a degenerate freak plotting for the downfall of western society#i don't know what to say i'm just so tired#politics#culture#queerphobia#lgbtqia#misogyny#<it's not the exclusive source but let's be honest sooo much of this is integral to the patriarchy#patriarchy needs access to an underclass they can treat like sex objects but they also don't want them to have any human rights#so sexuality is both obligatory and stigmatized#purity culture#i'm really struggling with tagging this because most of the appropiate tags would- in a beautiful twist of irony- get me booted off tumblr
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pls don’t flirt with me i want to be nonchalant so bad but i unfortunately crave connection so intensely that i will give you my entire soul and forgive you over and over until i’ve lost myself completely and feel like i’m drowning
#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd#mentally exhausted#actually bpd#sadgirl#depressing shit#mental health#mental illness#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#disordered eating mention#actually mentally ill#sad thoughts#self h@rm#suic1de#bpd stuff#substance addiction#substance abuse#shitpost#addiction#bpd feels#borderline personality disorder#tw depressing thoughts#girls who do hard drugs#ed culture#eating disoder trigger warning#sadnees#actually borderline
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When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".
It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.
It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".
Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.
When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.
It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.
That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.
That's how you process cattle.
It's fucking disgusting.
#I know this is old news but Jesus#Every day I hear more about school book bans and I feels less real#Restriction of information is restriction of freedom#People need stories#Even bad stories#Even tragic or problematic ones#We need to set purity culture on fire I'm not kidding#Abuse mention#Abuse tw
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No one is doomed to abuse people. There isn't an "abuser gene" or "evil chromosome". There aren't "cursed bloodlines".
There's a culture that frequently enables, romanticizes and eroticizes abuse, and individual human beings who choose to take advantage of that, or not.
Even someone who has abused others in the past has a decision about whether or not to continue that harm. Further abuse isn't inevitable, it's a choice.
The idea that abusers can't help it just further enables abuse culture. If someone is abusive, they are making a choice.
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Look, I think we can all agree with the fact that abuse thrives in darkness. So explain to me why a 21 year old used the word pdfile and pronounce it exactly like that when we were talking about child abuse. Censoring the word does nothing. It literally took me several seconds to understand what she was saying. Clear communication is vital when someone comes or tries to come forward. It can be the difference between them feeling seen and heard and refusing to divulge anything. When you censor words like that in real life there can be consequences because you are obscuring information and hurting communication. Use the proper words. And if they make you so uncomfortable you can’t use them then maybe you shouldn’t be having a conversation that requires use of those words.
#I understand this is part of a larger issue regarding the censorship of words on social media#but its also part of a larger issue which is how quickly we are headed toward a culture where these things are not acceptable to talk about#where you can’t talk about sex or relationships or abuse even with those you are close to because its not proper#and GOD I’m fuckin tired
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it's kind of baffling to me that entire sub-groups of queer folks endured a decade of being singled out and targeted for being asexual, aromantic, bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary, polyamorous, etc. and i have yet to see any substantial apologies from people who were directly responsible for causing genuine harm. i find it completely bizarre that there are so many people who want to sweep their past contributions to widespread lateral aggression toward specific queer groups under the rug like it didn't happen so they can wash their hands of it... there are people who are irreversibly traumatized because of this. there are people who took their lives because of it.
i'm wording the post like despite the fact that exclusionism targeting these groups (and more) continues to persist partly because it was a really frighteningly common trend to harass people just because they were ace, aro, bi, pan, nonbinary, poly, etc... and it's crazy to me that many of the people who were affected by this massive multi-pronged public online bullying campaign against the 'unacceptable types of queers' are the ones still receiving messages like "my url got put on an aphobe blocklist in 2016 because apparently a post i made making fun of asexuals got some teenage asexuals harassed and i still distrust asexuals to this day because of that" ...are you fucking kidding me?
we will never achieve any kind of unity as a queer community while we are insisting upon ignoring the hurt that lateral aggression has caused, and acting like the burden lies on the shoulders of the people who were harmed to forgive the people who harmed them and 'just move on', many of whom are not sorry for what they did! or they don't consider what they did to be wrong! how is that not deeply disturbing and troubling to more of you?
03/06/2024 edit: i’m putting a complete moratorium on this post because i am really sick and tired of having my point not only completely misconstrued and distorted entirely but also weaponized against transfems (particularly in replies i have decided to delete about how “ugh yes, exclusionism, and now transfems are bullying transmascs”) i find that really sickening and i’m demanding that it stop, and i can make it stop by turning off reblogs. so i have.
my objective in writing this post was never to request an apology from people who have been laterally-aggressive exclusionists in the past. i don’t think we’ll ever get more than a handful of apologies from those people, anyway. my point was that it was pretty terrifying to witness and experience a lot of lateral aggression that transferred from the real, in-person world to the deeply online spaces back into the real, in-person world in a really fucked up feedback loop and being a young queer person during this time and having that shape me, snd shape the experiences of my queer friends who have been traumatized by it.
however, it is absolutely unacceptable to me that the issue of transmisogyny is so blatantly overlooked by our entire community. for decades, transfems have experienced oppression and exclusion from transmisogyny-exempt women and queers. their exclusion from political queer liberation movements has caused many of the major schisms within our community we are still having arguments about to this day. if you want collective queer liberation, you must uplift transfems. there is no other option. you don’t get to write off all transfems just because one person who happened to be transfem was mean to you online or something.
i have answered and responded to way too many conspiracy-brained transmisogynist reactionaries to allow this post to keep fucking snowballing with people writing paragraphs in the tags about “transmisandry” or “transandrophobia.” please get your heads out of your asses.
this absolutely is the transmisogyny website, as always, and the place where all basic textual comprehension skills go to die, apparently.
#and we wonder why the fuck this site has such a massive transmisogyny problem#don't think i wasn't there when you were harassing and bullying my pan and aspec transfem friends#the way that trans people with any of these labels were excluded from being 'allowed' to call themselves queer...#literally on that basis. and had their transness ignored completely or invalidated.#i hope we're at a place now in 2024 where we can remember and accept that trauma happening online doesn't make it less traumatic#the damage that it did to so many of my friends and myself to be told over and over again we didn't count as queer#while actively being abused and beaten and harassed by queerphobes in our real day to day lives#extra especially for those of us who had to grow up rurally and/or disabled whose portal/lifeline to queer culture of any kind was online
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#bpd safe#bpd thoughts#bpd vent#bpd#mentally exhausted#actually bpd#sadgirl#depressing shit#mental health#mental illness#mentally fucked#mentally unstable#actually mentally ill#disordered eating mention#self h@rm#suic1de#bpd stuff#substance addiction#sad thoughts#substance abuse#anxienty#addiction#actually borderline#shitpost#trauma#eating disoder trigger warning#ed culture#bpd feels#tw depressing thoughts#tw drugs
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‘how do you expect people who have been abused by someone with NPD to refer to their abuse then?’
by calling it what it is: emotional abuse.
it’s not difficult.
slapping the word ‘narcissistic’ on the front of abuse is blindly assigning blame and associating the abusive behaviours with NPD, despite the fact that nowhere in the criteria does it state any abusive behaviours as a symptom.
i understand that people who are severely mentally unwell are more prone to abusing others, however to point the blame at a disorder (and therefore at everyone with the disorder) is ableist, irresponsible and grossly misinformed.
to put it into perspective as to how bad the stigma surrounding NPD is, i have been diagnosed with NPD and have been told i should be killed because of it, that i will inevitably abuse my partners i have had, i’ve had partners in the past be harassed by people saying that it’s ‘just a matter of time’ before i abuse them without any of these people ever even knowing me. i see endless amounts of things online calling all narcissists evil, as well as having my own experiences with abuse disregarded because they do not believe someone with NPD could be anything other than a perpetrator, despite the fact NPD is induced by trauma. the list goes on.
your choice of wording does matter and it does damage people with NPD.
#actually mentally ill#clusterb#actually npd#npd#actually aspd#aspd#cluster b#actuallynpd#actuallyaspd#actually bpd#bpd#actuallybpd#actually cluster b#actually antisocial#actually narcissistic#actually borderline#hpd safe#diagnosed npd#diagnosed aspd#diagnosed bpd#cluster b personality disorder#antisocial personality disorder#narcissistic sociopath#narcissistic personality disorder#narc abuse isnt real#narc posting#narc abuse isn't real#npd culture is#npd vent#npd positivity
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you have any fucking word in the dictionary to describe your abuse. please stop using the one that describes a personality disorder
#and directly puts the blame on mentally ill people#npd vent#npd positivity#npd things#npd culture is#actually npd#narcissistic abuse#malignant narcissism#narcisst#narcissistic personality disorder#narcissism#narc abuse#actually narcissistic#npd#narcissist#npd safe
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I really think we need to be having conversations more often about how to figure out if you're being abusive, and how to address it if you are.
Abuse isn't just done by one demographic, or in one specific way. Most abusers justify their actions to themselves and do not think of what is happening as abuse.
It's dangerous to just assume that you don't have the ability to abuse someone due to your Pureness of Heart, oppressed status, or status as an abuse survivor. Thinking this way can make you more likely to harm someone.
I have known people who know a lot about abuse, have read a lot about it, and have been abused themselves, who become abusers and don't notice because it doesn't occur to them that they could ever be an abuser. They assume that if abuse is happening, they must always be the victim, because they were in the past.
This perception can make reasonable boundaries feel "controlling" and respectful conversations about harm feel like attacks. In trying to avoid painful feelings, it's possible to become controlling without even realizing that's what's happening.
You can abuse people. I can abuse people. Abusers are human beings who choose to harm and/or exert control over others. Not storybook monsters you have nothing in common with.
Let's talk about how to make sure we keep our friends, loved ones, and other community members safe from harmful behavior, not just from Total Irredeemable Obvious Monsters.
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my abuser had brown hair im a victim of brunette abuse :(
#npd memes#actually npd#npd safe#npd#npd culture is#npd positivity#npd traits#cluster b#actually cluster b#narcissism#narc abuse isn’t real#narcissistic abuse isn’t real#narcissism positivity#actually narcissistic#narcissistic personality disorder#narcissistic abuse#npd awareness#npder
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