#narcissism positivity

[narcitism]

my abuser had brown hair im a victim of brunette abuse :(

[narcissism-positivity]

I love narcissists who don’t go out of their way to mask or present as neurotypical. I love narcissists who aren’t interested in learning empathy. I love narcissists who like feeling evil. That’s neuropunk af of you

[empath-abuse-awareness]

Narcissists are so beautiful and handsome and wonderful, they deserve to be proud for all that they have survived especially with such a distressing disorder

[nothing0fnothing]

Busting some misconceptions about narcissistic abuse because I can.

"Narcissistic abuse is no different from any other type of abuse."

Wrong. Narcissistic abuse can take the form of any other type of abuse, but the purpose for it and therefore the way it is perpetrated is very different.

"Narcissistic abuse is abuse perpetrated by a person with Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD)"

Incorrect. Anybody can perpetrate narcissistic abuse and there is no evidence to suggest people with NPD are more likely to be abusers than any other.

"Narcissism and NPD are the same thing."

False. Narcissism is a personality type defined by being self centered or vain to a fault. NPD is a personality disorder diagnosed by medical professionals and can be expressed in over 100 different ways.

People who are narcissistic can recover and change the fact that they're narcissistic. People diagnosed with NPD can recover, but cannot change the fact that they have NPD.

"There is no definition of narcissistic abuse."

True and false. While every expert who discusses narcissistic abuse may use different terminology to define it, the common theme is that the person perpetrating feels joy or satisfaction in harming, scaring or controlling their victim.

On my blog I define narcissistic abuse as "abuse perpetrated for the purpose of satisfying narcissistic delusion.

"People with NPD are narcissists."

Maybe, but mostly no. Some people who are diagnosed with NPD like to self identify as "narcissists" as a shorthand for their disorder. This is not the name of the disorder and you shouldn't refer to people with NPD as "Narcissists" as it's not an accurate or particularly universal term.

Some people who are not diagnosed with NPD like to self identify as narcissists to describe their personality type. It's important to distinguish between "narcissists" and "narcissistic abusers." A narcissistic abuser is not the same thing as a narcissist.

"Narcissism is the mental illness that causes abuse."

Untrue. No accredited mental health body today recognises narcissism as a mental health disorder and no practising mental health professional in good standing will say that there is a psychological disorder that causes abuse.

Perpetrating narcissistic abuse is a choice made by abusers, completely seperate from trauma or mental illness or their lived experience.

"People with NPD are offended by the term 'narcissistic abuse' so we should stop using it."

Recently people who identify as narcissists have taken umbrage against the term 'narcissistic abuse.' The reasons varying from an argument that the term 'narcissist' can never be separated from the disorder NPD, to the argument that people using the term are armchair diagnosing their abusers with NPD and further stigmatising the disorder.

The truth is the term 'narcissist' has been seperate from the disorder NPD since the disorder was first recognised in the DSM in 1980, and the solution to people using the terms "narcissist" and NPD interchangeably is to educate them, not ban the use of terminology that might potentially be misused altogether.

"If you can spot a narcissist you can evade abuse."

This is unfortunately false. Lots of online articles can promise you "10 ways to spot a narcissist" but usually all they're teaching you to do is to be wary of neurodivergent people. The truth is the only real way to evade abuse is to spot red flags for future abusive behaviour and know to get out before the abuse starts.

"There is no evidence that narcissistic abuse is real."

Aside from the stories of survivors of abuse and their families, or the loved ones of those who sadly didn't survive their abuser, all sharing commonalities in what happened to them, narcissistic abuse is well documented.

Therapists specialising in abuse recovery recognise narcissistic abuse and treat survivors of narcissistic abuse every day. Mental health educators discuss the psychology of the narcissistic abuser and the narcissistic abuse survivor in their dissertations or thesis papers and professionals study those papers to write resources like books and guides for those recovering from narcissistic abuse.

Narcissistic abuse is well documented and the general consensus in the psychology world is that it is real.

Feel free to drop any questions into my asks and I'll be happy to answer.

[demnianthro]

hi all!! i’ve just finally managed to get the confidence to make my own npd & dysautonomia focused insta account after months of convincing myself - and aptly, it’s named dysautonarcia! so feel free to head over there n show support, i’ve also just made an intro post for myself there :)

https://www.instagram.com/dysautonarcia for a plaintext link !

[entity56]

noticing people are calling out the 'all narcissists are abusive' rhetoric more and more. the world is healing

[thousandyearphantombunker]

having empathy is seen as a bad thing that makes you an abuse apologist unless your have narcissism or psychopathy then not having empathy is a bad thing that makes you a demon

Having empathy for abusers does not make you a bad person or confused or stupid. Your not stupid for being a pacifist or believing in restorative justice or empathizing with bad people or understanding people with severe mental illnesses who have done bad things

Not having empathy at all is fine and you can still be a good person, narcissistic abuse doesn't exist and psychopaths can be good people too

People with PTSD, mood disorders and autism struggle with not only cognitive empathy but also effective empathy so when you attack people with narcissism you attack them as well

People are found not guilty by reason of insanity are not evil people who got away with their crimes Scott free

Y'all talk about pacifists and optimists seeing the world in black and white and how they cant recognize evil while talking all kinds of shit about your ability to recognize evil vs mentally ill

Dude you freak out and accuse autistic men who look a little gross of being perverts on drugs when in reality they have flat effect and strange body language so you assume there actually a huge threat and are gonna rape you cause you think being an incel or socially awkward in a creepy makes you automatically evil, (I've hung out with those guys a lot of them where my classmates- they were good people) and you freak out when you perceive a big black man get angry or having a mental health crisis. Im not gonna hold it against ya if you have moments when your afraid of mentally ill people we can be dangerous we can be big and do bad things, but don't think for a second your good at detecting that shit

Y'all scream ACAB but still believe in unlawful searches and violations of privacy, and again are afraid of visibly mentally ill/developmentally delayed people, you are okay with prisons using slave labor and cruel inhumane punishments, you only care about drug abusers being criminalized when it's pot or over the counter medicine. You only care about police brutality when it comes to race. You hate the death penalty yet praise revenge and vigilantism. You'll report only crimes that support your politics. You hate trump so all his supporters must suffer. You hate trump supporters so much but you cant be normal about it. All his supporters have to be bigoted uneducated redneck hicks. You are classist toward the poor and you hate small businesses for being bourgeois but you support massive megacorps

You talk all this shit about psychopaths being unable to feel empathy and how that makes them evil but look whose talking! You hate people who actually are empathetic and you need to come up with a thousand different reasons to be a dick to them for what crime? Having empathy for another human?

Not having empathy doesn't make anyone evil- again lots of people have low or no empathy and they are still good people and don't deserve the shit treatment they get. It's always decriminalize mental illness until the guy with bipolar says something inappropriate or the autistic dude comes off as creepy or until it turns out the person living in the apartment next to yours is schizophrenic or has a personality disorder. My sister has low empathy and she is genuinely the best person in my life- she certainly understands more than the counselors and therapists I saw back in grade school who despite preaching empathy where assholes. She has good morals and she is awesome.

Having empathy for bad people does not make someone bad. They are still good people and having that level of empathy is actually a good thing. We need more people like that.

"having empathy is actually bad unless your mental illness is the reason your lacking empathy then your just evil" is a mentality that needs to fucking die. Also you don't have to emphasize or like severely impaired people inorder to not be a dick.

Being anti revenge doesn't mean you expect victims of rape or child abuse to be 'perfect victims' being anti revenge doesn't mean being an abuse apologist, believing in the power of restorative justice doesn't mean your pushover. Y'all really learnt the term 'perfect victim' and fucked it up- I expect victims to be angry and have all kinds of issues and no matter what the victim did I don't think anyone deserves to be raped or abused, I don't get angry at them for fighting back or not fighting back. But being a victim does not make you morally superior or prevent you from inflicting the damage done to you unto someone else. It doesn't mean your perspective is flawless or perfect. I want rapists and child abusers to suffer but I also want human rights to be respected and for victims to be given the help they need- these feelings aren't antithetical or dangerous. I have no empathy for those kinds of people but I also know innocent's suffer because of the system. There is no easy way for us to separate good from evil to differentiate them so Id rather bad people have human rights than for good people to lose theirs

I'm not super political, I'm invested in only a few issues because I burn out so easily and even then it's miniscule but can you blame me? The sheer amount of horseshit people say, the antisemitism, the classism, the ableism- it's tiring. You aren't allowed to have nuance anymore, your automatically labeled an evil evangelical conservative or sjw blue haired bitch. And I keep hearing people talk about taking away basic human rights and when I argue how doing that is bad and has horrible consequences, I get labeled an enabler or apologist. Newsflash- taking away human rights from any group of people including absolute scum bags fucks us all over- just label everyone you don't like as a criminal and bad bing bada boom we're taking the government's dick up the ass.

People get angry when people like me take breaks or moments to chill and talk about how 'x group of people don't get to take a break from the cruelty!' but I'm part of x. I'm autistic I'm Latina I'm gay! Im also tired and because I have a life outside of social media I can chill for a bit and because I am easily burnt out. I take more breaks because I need them- i need more breaks because my disability burns me out and focusing on politics all the time makes it worse. I'm not a traitor your just ableist (usually toward people who are off-putting and have low empathy) and I'm not an apologist I just don't want people to get happy over innocent people dying because said innocent people are part of group they hate. I just like respecting human rights and if that makes me an enabler of bad people? If letting bad people have nice things means protecting innocent people then I'm fine with it

[fivesevenseveneight]

i experienced some more bullshit today so i’ll say it again in case i haven’t made myself clear:

narcissists, you are wonderful and i love you and i hope you have a lovely time zone <3

[cyber-spac3]

I’m just gonna say this off the bat, cause apparently people are pissed at specifically me about being against narc abuse.

by claiming you are being silenced and screaming about being accused of ableism, you take power away from yourself. You perpetrate harmful ideals. NPD is a disorder that comes from childhood abuse. The abuse you suffer from someone who happens to be a narcissist is real but it’s not because they’re a narcissist. Your language choice implies that NPD is the abuser disorder. You whine and complain about not having any other terms for your abuse when emotional abuse is a very real term. My mother is very likely a narcissist, she is also at least somewhat abusive, that does not mean that the fact she’s a narcissist is the reason I am being abused. The narcissistic tendencies she has may play a part in the abuse, but it is not the cause. Any disorder can impact the way an abuser abuses. If narcissistic abuse is real then, autism abuse, depression abuse, anxiety abuse, dysphoria abuse, and all sorts of other terms would be real, the fact that *no body fucking uses them* is enough proof that narc abuse isn’t real

also I’m just gonna ignore your ableist ass if you send me an ask on anon, show me you actually believe in your point of view by not hiding.

[narcitism]

reblog to kiss a narcissist on the mouth (with passion)

[narcissism-positivity]

People with npd (or questioning): tell us what you think you’re good at! Tell us an accomplishment you feel proud of! It can be as little as getting dressed in the morning or finding earrings you really love, or doing a doodle or being good at reading animal behavior.

[empath-abuse-awareness]

genuinely the people who have hurt me most in my life were empaths who "meant well" and "did this because they cared about me" and "were worried about me". on the other hand i have a narcissist friend who loves me very much and treats me with respect. they've made mistakes in the past (passive aggressive towards me and manipulative towards another person) but are trying hard to improve. you really can spin any normal human desire and make it seem demonic just based on the assumption that this person is inherently evil. like "i'm so glad my friends forgave me and we can keep having fun times together" ➡️ "yesss they're back under my control and i can abuse them"

so many people are just totally incapable of nuance like it's complex yknow. like. people with personality disorders deserve love. that shouldn't be a bold statement. those with extreme attachments etc aren't trying to manipulate you from some distant place of villainous intent. theyre jsut. feeling things they can't control. but also if you don't have the emotional capacity to handle being someone's friend after a long pattern of problems, you don't have to sacrifice your mental well-being for them. you're not good for them either if you need distance like that. just also don't make it about all people with that disorder lmao. use critical thinking skills challenge

(obviously also if you don't work out well with someone else due to your emotional needs clashing, tell them explicitly why you have to distance yourself and don't just ghost them)

anyway two of my bestest friends are personality disorder and just silly little guys. everyone in the world, including empaths, is capable of harm and should strive for self improvement.

/not talking to your blog when i say "you" i'm just shouting into the void

i seem to have forgotten to answer this one during my yearly trauma rot, oops

[quitblamingnarcissism]

Your parents are not "narcissists". They're typical authoritarian assholes who treat you like their property because society allows them to.

Your ex boyfriend is not a "narcissist". He's a typical misogynistic douchebag who treats women like shit because society allows him to.

Your boss is not a "narcissist". They're a typical classist dipshit who thinks workers' entire purpose in life is to generate profit because society allows them to.

And even if they happen to be a "narcissist", that's not what gave them the power to get away with abuse.

So stop blaming mental illness and start blaming society's normalization of abuse. Stop acting like someone has to have a mental illness in order to do something cruel when ordinary people have been doing atrocious things since forever.

[nothing0fnothing]

heyo! i would just like to apologise on behalf of the NPD community for the idiots that are frothing at the mouth trying to claim that narc abuse isn't real. yeah, we get it, pwNPD ≠ abusive. doesnt mean you get to dictate how victims should view their trauma, much less make it seem invalid. pwNPD make things so much worse if they aren't grounded! do they seriously think pwNPD are cute little bunnies who just want validation? i myself am a pwNPD, and it is soo cringe omfg. all this so-called npd positivity sickens me. you're convincing pwNPD that their problematic attention-seeking behaviour is acceptable. if pre-aware me saw all those posts, i would've never sought to change my behaviour and seek a healthier source of supply. i admit, i was abusive. no BS. i literally took pleasure in others being scared of me, to the point i would bully my own sister to tears and gaslit her into thinking it was her fault. i was fucking 10. i needed that slap on the face to finally realise this was not how i was supposed to be. i got my help, i got the support i need, i'm trying to be a better person. now thats the type of positivity we need. i dont want people telling me that 'i just want to be acknowledged'. no, wanting to be acknowledged is normal. my desire was unhealthy and violent. i needed someone to beat me up and tell me not everything about me and that i shouldn't want to beat someone up for doing something better than me. Thanks for listening to my TedTalk! 😊 - 🩹

A super well considered and realistic view of what it means to be a narcissistic abuse denier and its roots in anti therapy/anti recovery rhetoric from the POV of a person who actually has NPD.

You're very right, to be a pwNPD and to argue that victims and survivors shouldn't have a community based on their shared experience of abuse because you feel personally victimised by the conversation is trying to dictate our recovery to us. It's attempting to invalidate our experience and its hella indicative of real life abusive behavior.

Thank you for sharing personal details of your own experience with NPD. I know it's hard, I know it's not fun for you and I'm sorry your safe spaces have been hijacked by wannabes and fakers pretending that to have this disorder is cool and edgy. You don't feel cool and edgy for having this disorder, because it's a real mental illness that effects your life daily, not a quirk you get to take off when you close the app and go into your life.

Support is out there for people with NPD or people who suspect they have it. It's not as fun or exciting to get help than it is to run a edgy tumblr blog that perpetuates further abuse and stigmatises people with NPD, but our mental health is our responsibility, and anti recovery and anti treatment narcissistic abuse denial blogs are just perpetrating further harm and stigma. The people who beleive in it will never get better, and it's sad, but you didn't fall into believing the narrative that NPD is untreatable. You got help though it was hard and you learned to be better.

I don't condone violence to correct bad behaviour, I don't think you needed to be hit to learn better. The desire to do better and be a good person is in all of us, and I hope you know that the decent human being you are today is thanks to your own hard work, your commitment to consistency in therapy, your strength to understand your disorder, not the time you were hit to learn better.

Thank you for your support, plaster emoji, I really appreciate it. Your Ted talk was an incredible read and I'd be pleased to hear from you again 💕

[narcissism-positivity]

HAPPY NARC DAY MY DEARS!!!!! 🎉🎉🎉🥳🎈

Here’s a present for you 🎁🎁🎁

Hi hello narcissists and friends, Ive just discovered june 1st is 'World narcissistic abuse awareness day' I propose we be horribly horribly annoying on this day and make it to spread awareness on how narcissistic abuse isnt real

I think we can ruin an ableists day if we try hard enough whos with me

[mirroringshards]

sorry for being mentally ill and actually having symptoms it will happen again xoxo