hyperlexichypatia

[hyperlexichypatia]

the things that are reported matters. the language used matters. what is left out of the story matters.

[hyperlexichypatia]

I clicked on my christmas discourse tag and found the following post, which I'd responded to at the time. I no longer like my old response, but cannot reblog it again as I was blocked like OP promised, so instead I'll respond here. I did not waterboard the post as my intention isn't ridicule, so I've dunked it in some green elixir instead.

I think OP is missing several things.

Firstly, their premise is... bad. It completely elides the power dynamics in a Christianormative society between Christians/cultural Christians and members of minority religions.

Secondly, people being pressured or shamed for not celebrating Christmas (whether that's snide comments and disrespect, or expectations of performing Christmas at work, eg in retail), is a real thing, whereas "non-Christians being shamed for celebrating" is... not. So we're starting out with a strawman out the gate.

Thirdly, I think it really misunderstands posts like this, whose thesis is not "people who celebrate Christmas in a secular manner are wrong and bad" but rather "please stop using 'Christmas is secular' as a means to erase its origins and pressure us about it."

And also "there is a core of this that is Christian that does not need to be an issue for secular celebrators, but is an issue for many Jews."

I understand that a lot of people are challenged by that second implication so I will attempt to frame it a little more. I am not saying that a person who celebrates only the cultural aspects of Christmas is engaging in theological activities without their own knowledge. What I am saying is that Christianity comes with a set of connotations and associations for many Jews, namely our history of persecution by Christians, as well as some deep theological incompatibilities, and from the perspective of many Jews, Christmas is not really separable from this relationship, and we don't have any particular motive to separate it.

It is not that I am attempting to assign a religious identity to every person who puts up a Christmas tree; rather, that the discussion among Jews about whether to celebrate Christmas occurs in relationship to our history not only with Christianity but with our value of keeping our culture going by not assimilating. For various reasons, Christmas specifically has become an avatar in this that other holidays like Halloween largely have not.

In light of the Christian history of violent attempts to convert us (and many other peoples across the globe), and centuries of violent and oppressive treatment as punishment for our refusal to become Christian, putting any kind of pressure on us to participate in Christian celebrations come off very badly.

Which means that the fourth thing that OP missed was that "it's bad when it gets forced on people" was not an afterthought or "bad-faith response" but rather the entire thesis of the posts they're upset about. The entire point.

So to recap: No one is trying to say that people who celebrate only the non-religious aspects of Christmas are wrong, or bad, or don't exist. If this is the takeaway it is a failure of communication. There are many secular Jews who celebrate Jewish holidays in ways that align with their secularism, so this isn't a foreign concept to us.

More under the cut:

As well, there are Jews who celebrate Christmas, but the majority of them do so because they were raised in, or are currently part of, multi-cultural homes where another family member has brought Christmas to the home -- rather than because Christmas is universal.

Now, OP did not explicitly say they are equating Christmas being secular with Christmas being universal, but they implied it in their last line. This, actually, is the main issue with their post. Because whether or not Christmas is secular actually seems to be a red herring, the question at hand is whether it's universal. They are implying that maybe it is, if 80% of the non-Christian world celebrates it. The idea here is to eschew the claim that Christmas is associated with any particular culture; no, it's not a Christian holiday, it's a humanity holiday! It's for everyone! Stop being a Grinch.

And this is why the project to separate it from Christianity becomes relevant again: It's no longer fashionable to say that everyone should be Christian, so let's instead put that idea in sheep's clothing and substitute Christmas instead. It's the same thing, but now it looks innocent.

And, wait a minute, is it even true that 80% of the non-Christian world celebrates Christmas?

I clicked through the link OP provided, and found that, first of all, it only applies to the US.

And, second of all, the number for Jews is only 32%.

I clicked through to the source on that, and it's the classic: Pew's 2013 "Portrait of Jewish Americans." I found the relevant data:

And noticed a pretty big discrepancy between those in intermarriages and those not. It turns out, only 7% of Jews who are married to other Jews have a Christmas tree in their home. Let's be clear: This post is not a judgment in any direction on the choices or who to marry or whether to put a tree in your house. Rather: I am attempting to complicate "80% of non-Christians celebrate Christmas" with the data that only 7% of households with two Jewish spouses are doing so. Which... implies that American Jews, on the whole, do not see Christmas as universal.

And what about that 29% of unmarried Jews?

Well...

25% of Jewish American adults have a non-Jewish parent. We don't know what percentage of them grew up with a Christmas tree in the house but our closest approximation is the data about Jews with non-Jewish spouses (even though both sets of data are from 2013 so we're talking about different generations), so let's assume it was 71%. That would mean 18% of Jewish adults grew up with a non-Jewish parent and a Christmas tree in the house. Which accounts for the majority of that 29%.

What we can conclude is this: Most Jews who celebrate Christmas do so with a non-Jewish family member. Thus, I believe that the opinion that Christmas is universal is one that is not held by the vast majority of Jews. Which means the OP's 80% statistic does not serve to prove its universality.

It is of course possible that I am reading in a connection between secular and universal that OP genuinely didn't intend, and their 80% statistic is truly only about showing that the cultural aspects are adoptable by non-Christians. If so, that is better, but I still don't think the statistic is doing what they think it is. Different religious groups have different considerations as well as different relationships with Christianity. That is to say: it doesn't mean Christmas isn't Christian.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Maybe its just me but I think its really fucked up that the only way teachers can "help" a child is with cps and the fucking police. I think its really fucked up that they're constantly talking about "tell a trusted adult" when sometimes you just don't fucking have one. Because all of them were bad options. I think its fucked up that my, and many many many children's only fucking options have been tell someone and put everything in danger or do nothing and continue on in silence. I think its fucked up that even without saying it I had to start understanding that no matter how kinda a teacher, or counselor, or school staff member was to me at times, that they would never put me over them being held liable or their job. I would never be that important. They get to pat themselves on the back while I get put in handcuffs and put treated like an example of what not to do as if im not even there. I think its really fucked up that at a certain point it will never matter how nice a teacher is, no matter how many "I know it sucks...." or "I'm sorry but it's my job..."s or "I don't want to have to do this..."s you get, because its always the same fucking thing. Your a liability, and no adult is going to risk their job with a child that they could easily just hand to someone else more 'qualified' to handle.

[hyperlexichypatia]

hi I was scrolling through your blog and saw the ask about people enjoying being ill and I'm here to say that it is me! I like being sick :) I'm not entirely sure why. my favourite is a mild fever, though I dislike potential consequences of being sick (like dying or infecting other people) I love the experience of having a fever.

there's something almost sweet-tasting about certain illness symptoms, something electric, something exciting. I had a fever as a side effect of my last covid booster and ngl when it was over the next day I kinda missed it. it was fun!

I wish the world was a better world to be sick in, because when I'm not like. dying from something, my main problems with being ill come from things like not being able to stay home enough to recover, rather than a real symptom of the illness.

I find myself really enjoying intense experiences, and experiences that remind me I have a body and can die. i like to make conversation with death.

I also figure, I have to be sick, and there's not much I can do about that, so I might as well find things I enjoy about it. it's better to be sick and having fun than sick and not having fun.

I like experiences that blur the lines between the many realities I walk through, like when I was so sick with strep throat as a kid that I couldn't move much for a week and my constant staring at the ceiling all day resulted in me hallucinating giant millipedes crawling across my ceiling.

when this comes up, I often bring up the essay on being ill by Virginia Woolf as something I connect to in regards to this. it is not perfect, but I can see a sliver of my illness enjoyment in there.

I also love going to the dentist and if I was rich I would go there all the time for fun.

You know, it makes sense when you put it like that. I love that for you.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Finally, someone addressing the mental health problem and getting people the help they need. Too many insurance plans don't cover spike traps, and families are struggling without the fire pits they need.

In order to help combat homelessness, we are inducing new hop-walks. These walkways, roads, and randomly selected patches of grass or nature trails will feature a shifting pattern of trap door openings into assorted spike or fire pits, which will reduce unhoused people sleeping on them. They might look random, but watch closely so you can learn the safe jump patterns! To make these disability accessible, there is a "safe mode" which will allow disabled people to watch someone else walking around and shopping, rather than the potential danger of independent mobility. Please note that while tempting it is still illegal to sleep in the spike traps. For public safety, teargas will be randomly deployed in all public spaces at random, as well as in our new intellihome low income housing for anyone with a full time job and multiple clean suits. We hope the new tear gas program will make great improvements. Remember it is illegal to cover your eyes or mouth during the tip top tear times.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Please, please use digital library cards! Libraries are for the people! You are The People! You are no more "stealing" a public resource for the people than walking through a public park on a warm sunny day is "stealing" the beautiful sunshine.

Where do you find cracked Libby library cards online? My local libraries are kind of limited

You don't need to crack a Libby library card lmao

Find a library system in the United States or anywhere else that lets you do online registration. Sign up using addresses that is located where the library system is located. You can look up places on Zillow. There's an American phone number generator somewhere on the internet. Generate it and use it when the form ask for a telephone number. Remember the last four digit though because sometimes they use it as a pin number.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Me: We can never have global justice if we're mired in the mindset of countries competing with one another. We can all succeed.

Also me: The rest of the world cannot just let Bulgaria lap us like this. These are the only national rankings that matter. The only GDP I care about is Gay Dude Partyboys. Get to WORK people!

alright who’s going to bulgaria with me

[hyperlexichypatia]

And everyone slut-shames him for getting knocked up, even though he had no idea that the activity they did was how that species reproduces! It's really messed up! And full of '00s cissexist "LOL pregnant man" jokes.

no because why did they give trip an extra pair of nipples on the mpreg episode. still thinking about that. like what was wrong with the first pair?? why would need another pair of nipples??

[hyperlexichypatia]

Did the cat put you up to this?

why is it. not doing anything

its no good. its no good. you dont sweep the dishes its no good.

[hyperlexichypatia]

”Mixed-age bar” that’s literally just…a restaurant? They’re describing a fucking restaurant. I dunno what their’s look like but whenever I’d go out to eat with my parents the bar was like 5 feet away at least. Never messed me up…

Oh, no, I don't mean an all-ages restaurant that also has a bar; I mean a bar, for ages 21+. That serves 21 year olds, but also 30/40/50 year olds. And there are 21 year olds who are creeped out by 30/40/50 year olds being in the bar with them. Because they've so internalized this "Socializing with people older/younger than oneself is creepy and vaguely pedophiliac" mindset despite being, you know, whole-ass adults.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Did my ask go through? I said we can do BOTH! Be non-discriminatory towards terminal illnesses and non-terminal fine disabilities AND hope and try for cures to terminal illnesses and colds! Both! Both! Why not both?

Of course we can hope for both, definitely! I just focus more on one since I have no power to do anything about the other. I'm not going to go protest outside a medical research lab with a sign that says "Work harder on curing cancer"; I figure they have that well in hand without me. So I focus on the political/cultural side with nondiscrimination.

[hyperlexichypatia]

If your ideology can only be defended by denying or justifying atrocities, that should be your first clue to reexamine your ideology.

If you can hear and read the testimonies of real people who describe being surveilled, imprisoned, tortured, seeing their families and friends killed, and having their communities destroyed...

... and your ideological alignment requires you to believe either that every last one of them is lying, or that every last one of them must have done something bad enough to "deserve it"... (especially if the "bad thing" they did to "deserve it" was not wanting to be governed by the people committing atrocities upon them)...

Then you should, perhaps, consider whether you have bought into some truly horrifying propaganda.

[hyperlexichypatia]

A take that I read on here a lot is that personality disorders "arent real" since theyre just specific manifestations of complex trauma that society doesnt like. And people act like its an anti psych take while its really not.

This line of thinking doesnt question hegemonic psychiatry at all .I bet most psychologists would actually agree with it and say sth like "oh yes, personality disorders are almost always caused by complex trauma". You just replaced the word "disorder" with the word "trauma" because it sounds a little bit more nice and its true, youre actually being treated a little bit nicer with cptsd on your record.

But calling personality disorders "complex trauma reactions" changes nothing in the end. Not the way we are treated, not the stigma, not even the framework we use to think about our own experiences. You could even come to the insane conclusion that "the personality disorder categories are important shorthands for different trauma reactions".

But in the end, blaming mental distress on "trauma" still leads to denying any specific external cause for mental distress and making it instead into an inner "mental health" problem that no one is responsible for (read:at fault for) but yourself.

Only if we stop thinking this way about mental distress its possible to finally ask Where this distress is actually coming from. The solution to patriarchy isnt better trauma-informed therapy. The solution to capitalism arent antidepressants. The solution to youth discrimination isnt telling children and teenagers to think less negative thoughts (=CBT). The solution to drug addiction or suicidality isnt to lock people up.

Also no diagnostic category is a shorthand for mentally distressing experiences. Psychologists act like we are (for example) suicidal because of depression which they only label us with in the first place because we are suicidal. Its a circular reasoning that doesnt explain anything. Its especially ridiculous if you say sth like "my personality disorder causes me to be impulsive" - like on god? My personality makes me impulsive? I couldve just said "Im impulsive" - this doesnt explain anything or tells me why I acted in a certain way.💀

[hyperlexichypatia]

My partner was walking to the corner store by themself when they were 5. I had somewhat more protective parents, but I was wandering around to my neighbors' houses when I was 7 and biking to stores when I was 9. The power of car-dependent culture is strong, but it is not absolute. Even in car-dependent culture, kids have a fundamentally essential developmental need for non-mediated socializing, with both other kids and adults. I mean. This is why young adults are moving out of their parents' houses and acting like their landlord is their new parent, or their boss is their new teacher, or that a mixed-age bar (inherently an adult-only space!) is "creepy."

But what Americans have done is taken a logistical problem with our transportation infrastructure (Public Place is only accessible by car, kids can't drive a car by themselves until they're at least 16, therefore kids under 16 have an access barrier to Public Place) and reframed it into a deeply harmful and false cultural belief about child development (Kids under 16 shouldn't be in Public Place without adult supervision anyway), and then are confused when kids from countries that are more normal about transportation are actually capable of existing as people in the world. ETA: Sorry this is showing up late, it was sitting in my drafts and I neglected post it?

Ways in which ageists talk about the youth similar to how misogynists talk about women:

- it's impossible for an adult and a "minor" to just be friends, since they have nothing in common, so there's something else going on;

- all "minors" in a public space need to be accompanied by an adult responsible for their behavior and safety;

- mixed age spaces are no fun because adults can't make sex jokes or honestly express themselves without being called out;

- a "minor" talking to an adult is a liability because they're always one wrong move away from making a sexual abuse accusation;

- "minors" ruin all fandoms they join because they police adults;

- "minors" are inherently less capable of understanding complex topics and can't be reasoned with;

- adults should take full responsibility for how "minors" in their life dress, talk, or engage with media.

If you think it makes more sense than its misogynist counterpart, think again, because misogynists think their views are founded in objective biology too.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Stop Doing Borders

[hyperlexichypatia]

Do you have a post or posts with information about the basics of anti-psychiatry? I’m curious, but I know little about it and Tumblr search is awful.

Yep! Here are some resource roundups that other awesome people have compiled:

And then here's some stuff I've written:

Thanks! I love infodumping about antipsychiatry!

[hyperlexichypatia]

Follow up to this post where I was asked about the "Autism presents differently in girls" myth, which is one of my many berserk buttons.

Here is a non-exhaustive list of reasons this concept makes no sense and you should stop saying it:

A. Autistic people are more likely than non-autistic people to be trans, nonbinary, or otherwise gender-non-conforming, so any attempt to group autistic people by binary, birth-assigned gender is even less likely to be accurate than the gender binary already is in the general population.

2. There is absolutely no evidence supporting the "presents differently" theory that could not be better explained by clinician bias.

iii. The alleged "presentation differences" between autistic "girls" and "boys" are just bog-standard gender stereotypes with "autism" plugged in somewhere. "Boys are better at math and science and logic and not having feelings and their dominant emotion is Anger, but girls are better at socializing and caretaking and brushing hair and their dominant emotion is Approval-Seeking." "Huh, that sounds like reactionary sexist hogwash." "No, I mean, autistic boys are better at math and science and logic and not having feelings and their dominant emotion is Anger, but but autistic girls are better at socializing and caretaking and brushing hair and their dominant emotion is Approval-Seeking." "Oh, okay, now it's Objective Science."

four. Sexist bias, including among clinicians, tends to frame "male" neurodivergence as essentially cognitive and "female" neurodivergence as essentially emotional, because, as we all know, Men Think, Women Feel. Psychology is obsessed with the idea that "girls" are universally and inherently self-loathing and self-destructive -- anything a "girl" has trouble with cannot possible be a skill she hasn't learned or an ability she doesn't have, let alone merely a different way of being; she must simply be self-abnegatingly denying herself the thing she cannot do. So a "girl" with the same traits as an "autistic boy" will have those traits attributed to something emotional, like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, or eating disorders. "Autistic girls" aren't being "missed" (read as neurotypical); they're having their exact same autistic traits as "autistic boys" being framed as mood disorders instead of neurodevelopmental disabilities.

cinco. Fundamentally, this premise gets completely backward what diagnosis means and why pathologization happens. People are pathologized and diagnosed, with any kind of disability, when they have traits that fall outside the range of traits considered "acceptable" for their position. "It's more acceptable for boys to have meltdowns, so autistic boys have more meltdowns than autistic girls, so the boys get diagnosed with autism" -- No, this doesn't make sense. That's not how diagnosis works. If it were more acceptable for boys to have meltdowns, then boys who have meltdowns would not be getting diagnosed with anything. Their behavior would not be seen as pathological. If "It's more acceptable for boys to have meltdowns" were to explain any kind of diagnosis differential, it would be "Therefore girls who have meltdowns are diagnosed, while boys who have meltdowns are just considered normal boys." And, to be clear, that kind of thing is absolutely a factor in gender differences in diagnosis, but in the opposite direction from how people mean it. Like, as a "girl," I wasn't really expected or pressured to be athletic, so my absolutely abysmal gross motor skills were just shrugged at and not seen as a sign of disability. Can't run or throw? Well, I was a girl, and a nerd to boot. What do you expect? A "boy" with my level of gross motor skills would draw a lot more Concern.

ζ. "Girls are pressured to mimic/mask more than boys are," even if true (debatable), elides over the fact that many autistic "girls" can't "mimic/mask," because they are disabled. They have a disability. Because some of the things their society expects them to be able to do are things that they cannot, in fact, do. "Girls don't have meltdowns because they're not allowed to. Girls don't forget to do essential tasks because they're not allowed to. Girls don't --" Okay but they do. Girls do in fact very much do those things. Because they are disabled. Because they have disabilities. Because there are things they are expected to be able to do, which they cannot, in fact, do. And it's weirdly disability-erasing (ableist) to claim that people simply develop the ability to do things they can't do just because they're expected to.

heptad. Circling back to point A., while I can't prove it, I really think a lot of this "gendered autism" stuff is a way to pathologize and also explain away queerness/transness/gender-non-conformity in diagnosed-autistic kids. "Oh, no, don't worry, the reason your son consistently Fails At Masculinity isn't because he's some kind of sissy; it's actually because he has this Masculine Male Boy Disorder where he just doesn't understand how boys are supposed to behave. Lots of boys have it. No, no, the reason your 12 year old son is kissing his male friend on the mouth isn't because he's gay; he just has a social skills disorder and doesn't know that boys don't kiss their platonic guy mate dude friends. It's a very masculine disability. Elon Musk has it." I know somebody who was told by an Autism Mom that all autistic people are bisexual because "They don't know the difference." Sure, keep telling yourself that.

8️⃣. In the past, when I was less Galaxy Brain Mad Radicalized, I conceptualized the phenomenon of "'Boys' are diagnosed with autism while 'girls' with the exact same traits are diagnosed with depression/anxiety/OCD/BPD/ED" as a phenomenon of "Autistic girls, who objectively are autistic, whose objectively, scientifically correct diagnosis is autism, are misdiagnosed with psych disorders instead." But what neither autistic nor Mad people really want to admit is that "autism" is as arbitrary a diagnostic category as any other. No two human brains are exactly alike. All systems of classification are made up. I happen to think that the proposed explanatory mechanism of "autism" (brain processes sensory input/information differently than average, results in wildly uneven skill development) is generally more accurate than the proposed explanatory mechanism of most psych diagnoses (people are weird somehow and that's bad somehow), but it's still fairly arbitrary. People with autism diagnoses get ABA and people with psych diagnoses get CBT/DBT, and you can argue about which is worse, but ultimately anything with a B in it is fundamentally abusive. Abolish psychiatry.