#cannot say this enough in my life: not everything on the internet is for everyone all the time and that’s ok

[danandfuckingjonlmao]

(different anon) Dan VS is an old(-ish) cartoon with a fanbase on here - ur posts about Dan and Phil keep showing up in that tag because of tumblrs awesome tagging system. not blaming you just letting you know! -dan vs fan

ohhh thank you for explaining!! i was like ?? dan vs who?? are we ADDING CONTROVERSIES?? yeah tumblr’s tagging has been interesting there’s been all kinds of shit everywhere

to the other anon: i highly recommend scrolling past when you aren’t interested in posts bc social media gatekeeping is not the most effective strategy for avoiding content you don’t wanna see. maybe you could blacklist tags too?? or honestly just blocking me or people whose posts annoy you. i’ve blocked a few blogs that show up in the tags i frequent not because i have anything against them personally but because it’s nice to cultivate what you see and what you’d prefer not to. but above all, nothing quite like having the power to simply,, scroll past things (i can’t say that without sounding snarky and i think i am feeling a little snarky but also i’m so serious it’s very easy and low effort lol)

thanks again anon who explained this, appreciate you taking the time to do so :) hope you’re well and get sleep and drink water!

[mostlysignssomeportents]

That means that for a work to be eligible for copyright in the USA, it must satisfy three criteria:

1. It must be creative. Copyright does not apply to non-creative works (say, a phone book listing everyone in a town in alphabetical order), even if the work required a lot of labor. Copyright does not protect effort, it protects creativity. You can spend your whole life making a phone book and get no copyright, but the haiku you toss off in ten seconds while drunk gets copyright’s full protection. 2. It must be tangible. Copyright only applies to creative works that are “fixed in a tangible medium.” A dance isn’t copyrightable, but a video of someone dancing is, as is a written description of the dance in choreographers’ notation. A singer can’t copyright the act of singing, but they can copyright the recording of the song. 3. It must be of human authorship. Only humans are eligible for copyright. A beehive’s combs may be beautiful, but they can’t be copyrighted. An elephant’s paintings may be creative, but they can’t be copyrighted. A monkey’s selfie may be iconic, but it can’t be copyrighted.

The works an algorithm generates —be they still images, audio recordings, text, or videos — cannot be copyrighted.

For creative workers, this is huge. Our bosses, like all bosses, relish the thought of firing us all and making us homeless. You will never love anything as much as your boss hates paying you. That’s why the most rampant form of theft in America is wage theft. Just the thought of firing workers and replacing them with chatbots is enough to invoke dangerous, persistent priapism in the boardrooms of corporate America.

- Everything Made By an AI Is In the Public Domain: The US Copyright Office offers creative workers a powerful labor protective

THIS IS THE LAST DAY FOR MY KICKSTARTER for the audiobook for "The Internet Con: How To Seize the Means of Computation," a Big Tech disassembly manual to disenshittify the web and make a new, good internet to succeed the old, good internet. It's a DRM-free book, which means Audible won't carry it, so this crowdfunder is essential. Back now to get the audio, Verso hardcover and ebook:

http://seizethemeansofcomputation.org

Going to Burning Man? Catch me on Tuesday at 2:40pm on the Center Camp Stage for a talk about enshittification and how to reverse it; on Wednesday at noon, I'm hosting Dr Patrick Ball at Liminal Labs (6:15/F) for a talk on using statistics to prove high-level culpability in the recruitment of child soldiers.

On September 6 at 7pm, I'll be hosting Naomi Klein at the LA Public Library for the launch of Doppelganger.

On September 12 at 7pm, I'll be at Toronto's Another Story Bookshop with my new book The Internet Con: How to Seize the Means of Computation.

[universalitgirlsblog2]

🩷🌸PROTECT YOUR ENERGY🌸🩷

🩷🌸Your energy is sacred and precious. It is so important to protect, cherish and nourish your energy in this chaotic world. Stop giving away your energy as if it is not valuable and precious currency. Do not give away your energy to mindlessly consuming things on the internet or to other people. Stop being always available. Not everything or everyone needs our response🩷🌸

🩷DO NOT DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE

Stop giving your energy and attention to things you do not want to see. Focus on the positive things , shift from complaining to gratitude. You can also repeat the mantra -

" I am now through my sovereign divine right calling back my power and my energy from all the people , places and past events where I have given my energy away consciously or unconsciously where my energy has been taken without my consent or with my consent. I call back my energy now . "

🌸SET BOUNDARIES

Boundaries are more about you than other people. If you have a diamond at home , you will protect it , right ? Similarly, your energy is ad precious and valuable as a diamond. Protect it. I made a post on summary of Tam Kaur video on boundaries. I would suggest you to read it. Click me !!!

🩷SELF-CARE

Make self-care your daily ritual. Workout , Meditate , Do Yoga , Mirrorwork , listen to Guided meditation and do breath-work. These things work miraculously. It is the little things that matter.

🌸BE MINDFUL

Be mindful of what you consume. On social media , there are people who feed on negativity . On youtube , you may find some youtubers who love to feed on negativity and offend people to get views and engagement. Please do not waste your time watching those youtubers , watch youtubers who inspire you , it can be the wizard liz , if you want to take inspiration for mindset or it can be a productive vlog . Anything which will inspire you and help you to level up in your life. I would recommend you to check out these two posts where I mentioned youtubers who can help you to be motivated and productive - click me and click me !! Unfollow influencer or celebrities you do not like , give you bad vibes or make you feel insecure. Follow content which will motivate and educate you. Do not engage in a conversation with toxic people. Let them be. Limit your exposure to negative influences. Do not be friends with anyone , not everyone deserves your attention and energy.

🩷DO NOT TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

It is never personal. Whatever people say about you , it is not about you. It is a reflection about them .

🌸CLEAN YOUR SELF-TALK

You do not have to believe everything you think. You have the right to choose what you believe. Write down your negative thoughts and switch them with positive ones.

I cannot do this -- I can do anything I put my mind into .

No one believes in me --- I believe in myself and that is enough.

🩷TAKE A BREAK

Stop mindlessly scrolling . Take a break from social media. Social media can be extremely draining. Put a time limit on social media. Be as intentional you can be about the media you consume. Follow positive influencers which will motivate and educate you.

🌸GRATITUDE

" A grateful heart is a magnet for miracles ".

When was the last time you were truly grateful for what you have ? Here is a small thing you need to do - before going to bed , think about the five things you are grateful for.Thank God or Universe for the blessings. Shift your focus from complaining to gratitude.

🩷FIND HEALTHY COPING MECHANISMS

Over-eating , smoking or drowning yourself in alcohol to numb your emotions will not heal you. Be courageous enough to deal with your emotions. Journal your emotions , do shadow work , meditate , cry or exercise. Adopt healthy coping mechanisms , they will help you in future too.

🌸CHOOSE YOURSELF

Choose yourself. Put yourself first.Be your own best friend. Be your biggest fan. Put your needs and wants first. You can never leave you , you will always be there for yourself.

🩷UNDERSTAND WHEN YOUR THOUGHTS ARE NOT YOURS.

Sometimes our thoughts do not belong to us , they belong to some comment we read on internet . Ask yourself- " Are these really my thoughts ? " . If the answer is no , do not entertain those thoughts and let them go.

🌸🩷That is all for today. I hope this post helped you. Do not just read and like this post , apply the tips too ! Please protect your energy , it is precious , so are you !!!!🩷🌸

[littlegreenfag-archive]

Regarding @littlegreenfag

Tldr: Adina, known by the Tumblr urls littlegreenfag and prksoda, has spent the past several years lying about many facets of their life. The list of lies includes, but is not limited to, being half manouche Romani, being Jewish, and being descended from Holocaust survivors.

I never wanted to have to do this. I’ve spent months trying my best to encourage Adina to come clean themself. My methods were not ideal. I should not have used anonymous messages. I used to be friends with them, I should've talked to them openly as their friend. I also should’ve attempted to be less aggressive at times, even though I think it is incredibly reasonable to have felt the way I felt when I was sending some of those messages. I understand and regret both of these things. Unfortunately, since Adina has deactivated @littlegreenfag, I cannot provide links or screenshots to every ask of mine that they responded to, only those I saved at the time. I will do this later, upon request. This post is already going to be enough of a monster without them.

Though the last day has been a complete nightmare, I am satisfied with one thing: Adina came clean about everything, even if not publicly. My worry was always with the though of having to reveal their personal information, as many of the things they’ve lied about would require me to, functionally, dox them. Though it's technically all public, I would much rather that no one who doesn't already have access to this information gain it.

So, why am I writing this post? For those of you who were on Adina’s blog last night, you may have seen this post. I was also able to save a capture of their blog on the Internet Archive. Here is a screenshot that I took around when the post was first published. Apologies for the formatting.

To summarize, Adina begins to by admitting to a small lie, that they were born in Chicago, before admitting that they had been lying about their race. Though it was not present at the time of the blog's deletion, I would like to note that Adina had the phrase "jewish and half-romani" in their blog's bio for a very long time. This phrase was quietly removed after I sent the first anon message telling them that I was aware of their lies, on March 16th 2024. This can be seen on the Wayback Machine, by looking at the capture taken on March 5th, 2024, in comparison to the capture taken on March 24th, 2024.

That is what you may have seen. However, it is not the only major lie Adina has told. After suggesting Adina should turn off anons, I sent them another ask with my blog name visible, telling them that I could tell everyone about the other lies for them, if they wished to log off and be done with it. They messaged me privately, and this is the resulting conversation.

I apologize for the block of images, but I figured it was necessary to include the entire conversation. Here, Adina openly admits to not being Jewish. Adina has spent months receiving social benefits for claiming to be Jewish, and they've even used this claim to support arguments. Truth be told, Adina has one Jewish great-grandfather. How Adina expected me to believe they would know about this without knowing his surname, I will never know. However, I should emphasize that Adina is not Jewish by the standards of any main movement of Judaism. Orthodox and Conservative look for an unbroken line of Jewish women, while Reform asks that you be raised Jewish by a Jewish parent. Adina is descended from a Jewish man who converted to Catholicism and raised his children Catholic.

Regarding the Holocaust claim, I understand hat Adina did not directly address this. I will say that I find it suspicious that they deactivated as soon as I mentioned it, but they technically never confirmed it was a lie. However, with the information that:

The ancestors they mention as being survivors or victims quite literally do not exist and

Their Jewish ancestor was born in the United States well before WWII

I believe it is quite safe to say this was also a lie. My screenshots of their claims come mostly from their Reddit account, which is now deleted.

It is absolutely ghoulish to me to create fake relatives so that you can pretend they were tortured and killed during the Holocaust. All to receive sympathy.

Though there are many, many other lies Adina has peddled, such as being a child of divorce and having a dead biological mother, I don't think any of them matter much in the grand scheme of things when these are the other lies that have been told.

It is also worth noting that this is a pattern of behavior from Adina. As some of you who followed them may know, back in 2019, a blog was created with the intent of calling them out for lies. Frankly, this blog, @prksodalies , is what put me on to Adina's trail in the first place. Though I believe that several of the things Adina was accused of on this blog are downright cruel to accuse someone of without evidence, the fact that there were so many smaller obvious lies made me very uneasy. What specifically made me curious was the post, here, where Adina claims that they are half Lebanese. Obviously, this did not make a ton of sense with the half Roma and half Ashkenazi Jewish Adina we all knew. As it turns out, this was one of the very few shreds of truth from Adina. They're a quarter Lebanese on their father's side, and other than that and a Jewish great-grandfather, are of mostly Polish and German descent.

This being a pattern of behavior, alongside the way Adina behaved in messages with me, tells me that this will likely unfortunately not be the last time this person creates a Tumblr blog with a fabricated life story. I feel immense guilt at the thought that they may continue to swindle and hurt people, and that I will never know or be able to help again.

To everyone who was friends with this person and has been hurt by their actions, I am truly, truly sorry. This has been an absolutely miserable experience for me and I can't imagine it's much different for any of you. If you have questions, I'll be available for a least a few hours. I do not want to share any of their personal information, but I will share what I need to (privately) if some of you need or want more information.

[multifandomwhore-003]

Forever —Drabble

Pairing: Lando Norris x female! reader

Summary: First time watching your boyfriend crash during a race? Rough.

Genre: angst, fluff.

Waring(s): Mentions of the Las Vegas crash.

Taglist: @ join taglist here

A/N: This is by far the most poetic work I've ever put out (I think), that being said. WHATEVER TF THIS IS, BLAME ON HIM, THIS MAN IS GORGEOUS

Gif credits to whom it belongs

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

THIS IS NOT FREE USE, YOU CANNOT USE MY WORK

Even through ringing ears and a dazy view, he could clearly hear you, wondering then how it was even possible, he heard beyond the arguments and strong footsteps; the flare of your nose, the shakiness in your breath, the hamering in your heart, he swore he could feel it. And with that in mind, he sighed in relived, he could feel something after all, the last thing he remembered, the last thing he perceived was dread, flashing through the last few hours of his life, could those be his last?

Shaking, on the verge of tears all he could do beyond gathering the last remnants of strength in him, was think of his family, you right beside his parents, you.

Minutes passed before he realized he blinked forcefully, perhaps one of these times he'd actually lose consciousness, or worse, be gone for good. His usual dramatics and the painkillers were dancing around his brain, making it their playground. Against all of this, he tried to organize the sound with letters, letters into words, and words into speech. Speech, Could he speak right now?

He prepared himself for the task by trying to stand on his elbows.

"Mr. Norris, please lie down," the nurse guided his head back into the pillow.

"My girlfriend," his throat was hoarse strangely enough.

"She's right outside," the nurse's undertone confirmed his bare train of thought.

"I have to see her," he grabbed the woman's arm, he was pleading.

She whispered something under her breath, clearly giving in to the situation, "I'll let her in," she grinned.

He could recognize something now, your stance, firm in shape, trembling with every motion, you stepped in asking, no, demanding the nurse to close the door behind her, avoiding her gaze in plain coldness. You said nothing for the first few seconds, breathing deeply.

"I'm okay," he let out.

"I know, they've already explained everything to me," you covered your mouth.

His fingers reached for yours, longed for them, interlacing with one another, perfectly, like every time before tonight.

He took some awareness of his surroundings, as much as he could without pushing to the edge, how horrible of a might he had over his head, effective, but far too harsh, far too overwhelming.

"We're going home in a couple of hours, they just wanna make sure, you're going to be fine," you knew you were failing at reassuring him, he didn't need it, but you did.

"I gathered that, otherwise you would still be outside yelling at everyone you could,"

You chuckled, not proud of your actions, but finding them rather hysterical at the moment, "I'm sorry you had to hear that,"

"It was music to my ears," he joked.

"Having my screams flood this place?"

"Having you care so much about me,"

"Always," was all you could answer biting down a sniffle.

It was not so long ago when you quietly promised yourself to give him your heart, the one thing you'd never thought you'd offer, let alone to the guy the Russells so kindly invited to a tennis event, to the guy who over a few drinks and laughs without a sense of shame in the world asked you to dance messily, making of those videos something for the internet to cut and explore. He was so much more than that now, and even to put it into those words was the understatement of a lifetime.

He could say the same thing about his side of the story, to explore a rather rushed friendship before diving, completely submerging, was something he'd labeled as a blessing. To fill his hours by your side in talking, and talking until you had everything to learn from one another laid out and displayed in string lights. Neither of you looked for this, flowing like every bottle of champagne you saw him pop, like every shot of Tequila you drank during Mario-kart nights, like every tear of Rosé you spilled all over your couch in the middle of the night.

And to think that both the most infamous people of their career found in themselves something far more valuable than money, fame, even transcending. Comprehending during the first years of your adulthood what it all meant to allow yourself to be completely consumed with love. So unexpectedly both your reputation and his infinite rumors could all be proven wrong. Through the worst of the trials and tribulations of being committed, you still survived.

His head rested in all the calmness you made by moving heaven and earth to have, in the crook of your neck, never letting go of the sensation of his breath, his life. How funny was it to trust someone enough to keep you alive, physically, mentally emotionally; how funny that none of them could think of how to prove something as mysterious as love to be true, in themselves, in one another, in other people past the centuries, yet they believed in, that's what they invested their faith in.

Admitting you were never fools, but only to each other, you could almost touch each other's soul, finding it far more familiar than your own.

"I'm okay," he'd been repeating the same words like a prayer since the night before.

"I know," you gulped, letting go of a choked exhale.

He read you, "Trust me?"

"Forever," you reminded your thoughts, clearing them out with just one.

—If you can't trust yourself, trust him, forever—

"I'm okay," he tested the words against your sleepless frame.

"I belive you," you finally admitted in peace before giving you lips to his.

[ayeforscotland]

Trying to limit and monitor kids’ social media usage would make so many problems so much worse and I need people to think about it objectively and not take it into consideration just because the concept is a knee-jerk reaction from a grieving mother being exploited by everyone around her.

— Kids already lie about their age, so an age limit is already unenforceable unless you literally require legal ID, which is an incredible breach of privacy with even further safety risks.

— Vulnerable children including LGBTQ kids living with bigoted families would be put in real-life danger of abuse or homelessness if their families had a way of knowing when they’re seeking support.

— The internet and technology is a requirement to navigate the world around you at the most basic level. That is a fact and schools know it too. Limiting access to that in this day and age would be massively limiting one’s knowledge, safety and basic life skills, especially if their family is neglectful or abusive.

— What constitutes as social media cannot necessarily strictly be defined. Some people consider WhatsApp to be social media despite the fact it’s a texting app, and the people you communicate with there are presumably people you’ve spoken to before if you know their numbers. Kids need a way of communicating with people for both practical and safety reasons, and blanketing almost everything as ‘social media’ and limiting access to it inhibits that.

— If you put a ban on all ‘social media’ until the age of 16 and then suddenly allow access, what you end up with is a child who has zero knowledge or experience of something suddenly being thrown into a world where anything is possible. It’s like when teens are forbidden alcohol their whole lives and the day they turn 18 they go on a massive binge not knowing their limits and end up either sick or in the hospital. It’s a recipe for disaster. They NEED exposure so they can learn.

— Let’s be real, kids would find a way around a ban through VPNs or other means anyway. We all figured out how to dodge the website blockers at school when we were 12. I doubt this would be any different.

While the fact that one of the killers watched gore on the dark web is indeed concerning, I really feel the spotlight is being shone on entirely the wrong issue here. Their conversations about the murder were all on social media and provided significant proof for the case. What kids need isn’t for adults to try to control them and read everything into their lives, it’s for adults to communicate with them and make them feel comfortable enough to talk to them when they have a problem. And that’s ignoring the, you know, whole transphobia thing.

(Sorry to write a dissertation in your inbox but despite my deepest sympathies and compassion for Esther seeing people put any stock into her awful, awful idea when that’s so clearly not the problem does quite frustrate me and I need everyone to know just how illogical it is)

I don’t need to add anything to that besides saying this line of argument is very similar to the people who campaign for an internet where no one can be anonymous, it puts so many additional people at risk.

Thanks for taking the time to share!

[hyakinthou-naos]

Hey, hope this is ok. I need some reassurance.

I've never felt a God's presence (except a vague warmth/peace when meditating about them sometimes I guess), much less talked directly to them (as in hearing them answer) and with so many people, esp on tiktok and here, talking like they have a private relationship with the Gods, a close friendship, even dating I just... I feel lesser I guess? Like so many people were chosen but not me and that must be a problem on my part. Like the Gods prefer everyone else over me. Like I'm not doing enough, even though I'm doing what I manage to do, given my limitations. I'm jealous of people who do communicate directly to the Gods. Part of me doubts them but part wants to believe them because it would be so shitty to lie about something like this and I don't want to believe these people are shitty. I don't believe non harmful hallucinations are all that common either, which would be the other explanation.

From what I understand you don't have this kind of direct communication either and I wanted to ask - how do you prevent yourself from feeling bad seeing all these people who (claim they) do?

I'm struggling here :( It's already hard for me to keep a consistent practice because of executive dysfunction and chronic illness and other stuff and this makes it harder. Feeling like I'll never be at everyone else's level of connection makes it harder.

Sorry for the vent-ish ask. You don't need to answer but I'm already glad if you read. Thank you.

Dear Anon,

Thank you for your ask, I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I want to tell you right off the bat that you are not lesser than any other worshipper - you are not less preferable to The Gods - and you should not feel any guilt around your spiritual/religious experiences. I would like to say the following to you, but also to the wider HelPol/Pagan community:

PLEASE Do Not Trust Spiritual Influencers on TikTok.

I cannot claim to know the legitimacy or the intentions/motivations behind every individuals actions regarding divine experiences, but I can say with confidence that most of the spiritual content on TikTok is dripping with lies and exaggerations.

Now, as someone with a mental health degree (I don't talk about my education often but I do have a bachelor's in Social Work and a minor in Psychology) I can also say with confidence that just because someone is lying doesn't mean they're necessarily a "bad person" but you don't have to be a "bad person" to have bad motivations.

Bad Motivations Can Include:

Lying for Financial Gain: This could be selling a product, selling a service, or trying to monetize on being an "influencer".

Lying for Attention: Many people do not have supportive friends, families, or communities - so as a maladaptive coping mechanism they will lie to get the attention they are lacking in their personal life.

Lying for Prestige: Some people don't feel important in their own lives, so they will lie so that other people will think that they are important.

Lying for Fun: In the age of the internet, the ability to make others believe something you know to be false can give someone an adrenaline or a dopamine rush. This is why "trolling" is still so popular.

And, not a "motivation", but still an explanation of why someone might "lie":

Mental Health Concerns: This could be a severe mental illness, a delusion, a hallucination, or conditioning from trauma.

People are weird and wonderful and diverse - and that diversity includes people who will lie (consciously or not) for a variety of reasons.

I speak about this openly as you mentioned, but I do not - nor have I ever - had any direct communication from any entity, deity, or spirit. Everything I know about my Gods (outside of myth, tradition, and history) I have learned through divination, ritual, and intuition.

Answering how I prevent myself from feeling bad when I see so many people "experiencing" something I can't - is a little bit complicated.

When I began my journey into paganism 11 years ago, TikTok didn't exist - Instagram was only 2 years old - and Tumblr had been around for a little under 5 years. My early knowledge came, mostly, from books. I wasn't comparing my experiences to those of others - because the only "others" I could compare myself to were limited to one high-school friend and the authors of the books I read. That kind of experience as a modern pagan doesn't really exist anymore because of how much the world has changed, but I wish it did. So, by the time I got to where I am now, the idea of comparing myself to others was so foreign. And as someone who grew up with the early internet - I learned very quickly that very little online is 100% real and truthful.

If you want to connect with your deities in an honest way that also feels real - you might enjoy trying one of the following (some of these might sound silly and/or childish - but if you truly want to grow as a pagan, you must throw away the idea that childish = bad):

Go outside at night and spin, put your arms out wide and spin and spin until you're dizzy (but not sick). Then lie down on the ground and close your eyes. That whirring sensation? That unreality of gravity? That is the Earth. That is Gaia. That is Demeter.

Listen to the rainfall on a stormy night. Sit somewhere you can hear the drops hitting the ground. Look and wait for a flash of lighting. The following thunder, that sound that you can feel in your bones that makes you jump, That is Zeus.

Write a letter to a friend, or to a loved one, or even to yourself in the future. Pay attention to how emotions become thoughts, thoughts become words, and words become writing. Communication - Language - Thought. That is Hermes.

I could go on- but at the end of the day, people are going to tell you that The Gods are "otherworldly"; but they're wrong. The Gods are of this world - The Gods are this world.

I hope that some of this has helped?

Eirene, peace and farewell,

- Aön

[qqueenofhades]

Is it normal that I’m legitimately so scared of saying pretty morally tame things like “I don’t want to talk about genocide because it makes me severely uncomfortable” or in general expressing my political opinion.

Like i’m not even kidding when I say that all my drafts are just my possibly offensive (probably not) political takes i’m just so scared of everyone leaving me it’s not even funny.

Anyway i also think that if you talk about Palestine but not Ukraine you are a victim of Russian Propaganda™️

I’m sorry I don’t know why i did this have a nice day ok baiiiiiii

Here's the thing. You and every other average social media user should not have to masquerade as a sudden in-depth expert on every single social, political, humanitarian, etc. crisis that we are dealing with in this wretchedly miserable excuse for a timeline. It should not be a baseline expectation on you that when you log onto your little social media in your little average life, you have to come up with The Correct Opinions on everything and if you don't, you're "perpetrating oppression" by not vigorously spreading misinformation, instead of simply admitting that you don't know what to do, you as an average citizen are not in a position of making this change and therefore don't actually have to spend every waking minute obsessing about it, and that maybe, just maybe, you'd like to spend more time informing yourself until and/or IF you decide you want to talk about it. This is the same as the Instagram Activists (TM) who traumatize themselves to the point of PTSD by constantly consuming torture and/or war porn and/or graphic content about murdered children because they "don't have the right to look away." Actually, you do. You are able to make choices to control your personal social media use and to set boundaries as to what you do and do not want to do and/or see, rather than insisting that the only moral choice is to literally mentally destroy yourself with all the weight of human suffering in the world and then expected to act as a de facto expert on all of it, on pain of being Cancelled. This is a stupid, irrational, unhealthy, and generally idiotic expectation. You should not have to take part in it. Nobody should.

Likewise, I think that this is a large part of why people are so scared to voice any opinion that goes against the Prevailing Groupthink: they are afraid of losing friends, of having nasty bad-faith internet trolls say mean things about them, being accused of being a "bad person," or otherwise being guilt-tripped, shamed, and blamed for not centering their entire existence around something that they cannot actually do anything about. Once again, people think the only way you can be Known to Oppose Something Problematic (tm) is if you post on social media about it all the time. Forget whatever you might be doing offline, in your real life, or otherwise; it "doesn't count" if you don't make a big virtuous display of your Rightthink, or you will be viciously harassed. Now, look, I am old and/or tired enough that I don't give a shit what stupid internet users say about me, but I can tell you that I sure did when I was younger, it was incredibly painful to be on the end of those kinds of attacks, and it's (again!) not something you should just have to expect as a baseline level of gaslighting and harassment. As I have said. This is Tumblr. It is a stupid blue website mostly for fandom and/or three in-jokes. This is not a platform where we are expected To Do Social Justice all the time, nor should it be. As for Elon Musk's Twitter: yeah. No.

Also: yes, if you do spend all your waking moments obsessing over Palestine, but say nothing whatsoever about Ukraine and/or openly support Russia, you are in fact very much a victim of Russian Propaganda and you 100% support genocide when it's done by an "anti-western" state that you support for that reason alone. You only care because you can use the cause to make yourself look morally superior, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with opposing genocide on a basic, universal, or fundamental level. The end.

(I hope you have a nice day too. The anger in this is not directed at you. I support everything you've said here and hope that you're able to set healthy boundaries and protect yourself.)

[siriustaylorsversion]

timothee chalamet x reader social media au

all that you ever wanted from me was, sweet nothing.

summary- you reveal your celebrity crush on the jimmy fallon show and the internet goes wild tagging him and telling him to make a move since his feelings are the same.

yourname.official

yourname.official tune in to watch me completely embarrass myself on the jimmy fallon show while talking about marvel, taylor swift, hamburgers and celebrity crushes at 8pm est... liked by taylorswift, vancityreynolds and 3,14,900 others.

taylornation she can make the whole place ✨shimmer✨ *liked by yourname.official

chrisevans Should we tag him?

yourname.official DON'T YOU DARE chrisevans hey, tchalamet robertdowneyjr something for you tchalamet chrishemsworth hey mate, tchalamet paulrudd is this a new trend? tchalamet scarlettjohansson guys, leave her alone.........tchalamet

yourname'sfan.forevermore as paul rudd said, hopping onto the trend tchalamet

haileesteinfield i'm on your team yourname.official but WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

yourname.official damn this is not how i thought this post would go...

yourname.official

yourname.official thank you everyone for tagging him! (i'm being sarcastic paulrudd) but at least you got us talking? liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 2,80,999 others.

tchalamet to all who want to know... the way to get this girl is using taylorswift lyrics.

yourname.official facts. tchalamet what are you a rapper now? yourname.official LIL TIMMY TIM IN DA HOUSE. tchalamet forget i asked.

taylorswift i say that's my baby and i'm proud...

yourname.official I LOVE YOU. yournametaylorsversion HE USED YOUR LYRICS OMG

tchalametdaily

tchalametdaily guess who did the paps spot today in NY?

liked by haileesteinfield and 10,890 others.

yourname.forevermore SCREAMING.CRYING.THROWINGUP.

haileesteinfield is this how i'm gonna get information about you now youname.official... is it?!

timotheefanclub WAIT WTF IT HAPPENED ALREADY?

yournamefan.69 that's what she said?

tchalamet

tchalamet do you really wanna know where i was april 29th? hint: it was 8pm est... liked by yourname.official, chrisevans and 2,02,309 others.

yourname.official stop with the blondie lyrics.

tchalamet afraid you'll say yes? timmyfan WAIT WTF?! paulrudd I... what do you call it?? paulrudd ship! I ship! yourname.official paulrudd no one says that anymore, grandpa

yourname.forevermore I LOVE THIS. I LOVE YOU BOTH. I'VE FINALLY STARTED LOVING LIFE.

blakelively so... do we keep on tagging you in her posts?

yourname.official i love you, but NO

yourname.official

taylorswift can i keep her? happy birthday, my love 🩷 liked by tchalamet, joealwyn, yourname.official and 4,05,690 others.

yourname.official thank you for *everything*!

tchalamet is that a beautiful boy reference? yourname.official i told you i loved it.

blakelively happy birthday sweetheart!

yourname.official thank you!!! tell vancityreynolds you're the funnier one!!

tchalamet

tchalamet happiest birthday mon ange, thank you for all your support, love and just for... existing. wherever you stray i'll follow, here's to a new chapter in your life. liked by yourname.official, taylorswift, and 3,09,700 others.

comments on this post have been limited

yourname.official WOWZA you have a way with words. i cannot thank god enough that you're here in my life and i hope you know i'll be with you forevermore.

yourname.official

yourname.official thank you everyone for ALL the birthday wishes, i love you all a lot!!!!!!! manifesting for more happiness, strength and love till the next one!

liked by tchalamet, taylorswift and 5,06,690 others. comments on this post have been limited

tchalamet love the shirt!

yourname.official you would because it's YOUR gift.

taylorswift 🥺🖤

yourname.official it's you and me, that's my whole world.

spread love and kindness <3

[the-lonelybarricade]

Hi LB, I woke up this morning and read another one of your recs which I fell in love with and I wanted to express my gratitude for all you do.

So here it is. Thank you for everything you do for this fandom, not just the beautiful and inspired work you create, but how you never miss an opportunity to uplift other artists as well, how you seem to take note and remember work from even the smallest artists, how everytime someone compliments you you never fail to redirect part of this love to shine it onto someone else and their work.

Becoming a good writer is something that can be honed but the kind of goodness you have it cannot be taught or faked and I may not know you personally but I'm absolutely certain you are a gift to everyone lucky enough to be in your life as well. Thank you for spreading some of your light to this corner of the Internet and thanks you for all the wonderful writing you have shared and will share in the future.

Enjoy your bank holiday and Easter weekend.

Goodness, Anon 🥺

I've reread this so many times and I've been at such a complete loss of how to properly articulate what this meant to me. I came into this fandom very soon after ACoSF came out, when the ship war was really starting to take off and the Feyre/Nesta stans were vicously at each others throats. It felt impossible to be in any space that wasn't rampant with hate for some other group of fans. And very early on I decided I wanted to be intentional about fostering a positive space in the fandom.

I've by no means been perfect, but I've made a very deliberate effort to keep my blog void of anti content for any ship or character. And as my account has grown (which has been a very humbling and mind boggling experience), I've tried to use it to spread positivity in a fandom that feels so intent to tear at each other's throats. I wanted to contribute to a community that focused on uplifting each other.

This might be the first time I've been transparent about that goal, I guess because I'm concious of patting myself too heavily on the back and/or subjecting myself to scrutiny. But it was really lovely to see this message, because it's gratifying to feel like the concious effort I'm making is recognized. It's also been an extremely rewarding way to make fandom friends!

I'll also say that I'm definitely not the only blog who's taken this approach. So many of my good friends also curate uplifting spaces, and I've been so fortunate to fall into a community of writers and artists that support and hype up one another 🥰

Then there's the wonderful blogs like @acourtofkindness and @elainsflowergrams that go out of their way to spread kindess and positivy - thank you both for all you do 💕

And thank you, anon. This was such a lovely message. It made me feel seen in my silly, little efforts to make this fandom a brighter place. And I hope you know that it's also the work of people like you, who take the time to send such kind messages to others, that contribute to making this little corner of the internet feel like a happier, more positive place. I hope you're having a wonderful bank holiday/Easter Weekend as well!

[garoujo]

i just wanted to say a huge thank you for not only reaching 20k followers right at the end of the year but also 4 all of the kindness i’ve been shown on this blog ! fank yew 4 letting me have this little corner of the internet as a little safe space ^_^

i wanted to do my own sort of ‘year in review’ i guess so i could kind of throw a spotlight on all of my favourite fics / blogs / artists that have rly added to my time here with everything they do <3 if you’re not included pls don’t take it personally i hav smol brain + also couldn’t involve everyone since theres so many !

WRITING SPOTLIGHT 2022

a small list of all of my favourite pieces of writing i’ve read this year, mostly for my favourite blorbos <3 please read the warnings before proceeding on creators blogs + b4 reading !!!

WHATS TAKING A LIFE OR TWO [IF IT MEANS GETTING TO KEEP YOU] — hanma shuji. ( @hijackser ) this is my absolute FAVOURITE SERIES PERIOD. obviously i’m actually insane 4 hanma but no this series made me EVEN MORE INSANE ! i’ve reread it an insane amount of times, i think about it 24/7. it is my favourite piece of writing to even exist.

SHOW OFF — hanma shuji ( @killsaki ) dallas is probably sick of me talking about this fic but ILL NEVER BE OVER IT ! favourite stand alone shuji fic ever ! everything about it is soooo perfect n so insanely him i could cry <3 absolute favourite shuji fic in the world.

ABSENTEE LOVER — hanma shuji ( @shoyoist ) ive read this an absolutely criminal amount, words cannot DESCRIBE !!! how much i love it like it has such a special place in my heart i adore him in this ! rekha never disappoints w the shuji content <3

CLOUD 9 AND SICK DAY — nagi seishiro ( @iitoshi ) everytime kai writes nagi i absolutely eat it up + these little drabbles are on my mind literally always !!! i will never be able to get enough w how well he’s written here EVER !!!

BLLK BOYS WORKING IN A PIERCING SHOP — multiple. ( @pinteukr ) i literally just read this, specifically nagi’s part but i HAD to include it because i was a MESS !!! ABSOLUTELY DONE !!! it is so good + this imagery / au is EVERYTHING 2 ME <3

PROPOSAL — nagi seishiro ( @tcshi ) i read this a few days ago + it’s still on my mind constantly hes just SO IN CHARACTER ! EVERYTHING IS SOOOO RIGHT !!! would reread one million times after !!! infact i’ll reread right after writing this !!!

WHEN THEY GET JEALOUS — multiple bllk characters ( @lalunanymph ) SO GOOD !!! SO CRAZY !!! nagi’s part had my toes curling n my feet kicking like akajakaka dawn !!!! i literally ate up every character honestly i’d read anything from u <3

SUGARSTREAM — gojo satoru ( @satorhime ) THIS FIC CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF MY WHOLE EXISTENCE !!! literally thee reason i became like actually unhinged 4 gojo satoru . it changed me down 2 the core it’s TOO GOOD !!! FOR FREE TOOO ????

BLOG SPOTLIGHT 2022

a small list of some of my favourite blogs who are also amazing writers + i recommend with my whole heart ! again i can’t include everyone but just know ily <3 again please read warnings byf !!!

@saetoshis + @goroushis — multifandom [+ genshin writing blog] nsfw + dc !

@getoswhore — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@bbiemilk — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@tetsutits — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@alhaithms — multifandom. nsfw !

@anantaru — genshin impact . nsfw + slight dc !

@blueparadis — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@itoshi-s — blue lock. nsfw + dc !

@ilykento — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@r-oronoa — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@touyyes — mostly jjk but multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@510hz — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@starlitheaven — jjk + hxh. nsfw + dc !

@torufilms — blue lock. sfw + nsfw !

@sailewhoremoon — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@dilu3 — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@shirohyorin — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@saneminx — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@takaholic — multifandom. nsfw + light dc !

@haruchiyos — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@satorini — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

@ohsatori — multifandom. sfw + nsfw !

@suget — mostly jjk. nsfw + dc !

@bleubrri — multifandom. nsfw + dc !

ARTIST SPOTLIGHT 2022

a small list of the artists who i follow + love seeing on my dash ! they’re just so crazy talented it’s insane <3

@tinymaru — reine is the one who drew my emmie x nagi fanart in my header and they are so craaaazy talented <3

@kita-dynasty — laine is SO AMAZING !!! every single time she posts i eat it up i could look at her art all day !!!

@omiishii — i’ve followed jace for YEARS ! and he only gets even better it’s actually insane !!! it’s just so amazing to see their art whenever i’m on dash <3

@omiyours — remi made my theme for me + she is so CRAZY TALENTED i just think she deserves absolutely everything 4 sharing it with people and being so kind <3

if you don’t want 2 be tagged pls let me know + i can take you out but i just wanted 2 do a little round up and also thank everyone 4 all the support they’ve shown me on this lil blog of mine <3 i am so very grateful ! again if i’ve not included u i’m super sorry there were so many !!! I STILL LOVE U I SWEAR !!! yay 2 2022 tho >_<

[wild-at-mind]

I don't want to be shitty to younger people on tumblr and in social justice spaces (teens and early 20s) and their absolutism and black and white thinking because I totally was like that too. I absolutely loved that thing where someone said something bad about a tumblr user and then you could act like everything they said was suspect forever. It was so convenient, to put things neatly into boxes. Social justice on here was very different back then, this would have been the early 2010s and a lot of it was about cultural appropriation vs appreciation. I think that is a very important conversation but this too was very black and white. I noticed that the only person injecting any nuance was an activist in her 40s I used to follow. Through her I learned also that some topics are really loaded for certain people but others might not feel the same because of different life experiences, even if they were the same ethnic group encountering the same type of potential appropriation. She got me primed for nuance I would later need, when my brain flat out stopped letting me deal with black and white thinking after my breakdown in 2015 and the fallout going up till 2017 and beyond. It's only now that I am really getting better. With occassional lapses. (Like when people on here were lauding protest suicide, that messed with my brain so much. Activists like the one I used to follow who don't like that kind of thinking, or the bloodthirstiness of a lot of the 'activism' shit on here, leave tumblr. They do, because it is shit here. You can get attacked for opposing the violence and self flaggelation in the rhetoric on here. By people you broadly agree with!!)

I think the reason youth tends to come with this kind of thinking is because they haven't seen it happen many times before and not lead to revolution. I can only assume that there really are people using social media to make young people interested in activism think that accelerationism is the only pure policy- by not doing things that might make things slightly better, society will be forced to fall and revolutionise into something much better. That means you don't become impure in the eyes of some internet strangers who don't give a fuck about you as a person, which is important to most people especially younger ones who haven't found their 'people' yet- everyone wants to be accepted. So you wait, years and years, the revolution doesn't happen. Things get worse in many ways, but it's never worse enough for society to fall. Because it won't. Or I guess probability means statistically, it could. But the older you get, the less likely it seems. What will you do?

I think the only thing that helped me out of this headspace was meeting people in real life who believed the same things as me, but who I disagreed with slightly. I found out oh wait, I do not have to do as the internet says and cast these people out. I can slightly disagree on how ideally an issue should be handled and that is ok. Now, many years later, I'm reclaiming my right to think the way I do, and to not trick myself into thinking I am a way I am not. The way my brain works may not be how my friend's brain works, but I can trust she won't reject me because I find JK Rowling's opinions offensive but don't find content dunking on her interesting in any way. Because she's my friend, and at the end of the day we share the same values.

To someone not online I don't think this stuff would make sense at all. Sadly I'm too weak to not be online, and I have this long background of being in that space which influences all the pushback with myself I've had to do. Its hard to get rid of that history, and hard to ignore the posting on here that seems to validate things that people living with OCD cannot put stock in (e.g. your feelings and thoughts are objectively real and also show what kind of person you really are- absolutely not something we can accept and still live with ourselves.) But I have to do it. I have to keep living. I have to believe that would be a net good. If I can't stay offline, maybe by writing this stuff it will help me and others who think like me.

My top tips for when you realise society isn't falling and won't just reset and come back better:

Join IRL activists, support their actions, plan actions with them. Get used to the variety of shapes activism takes. Talk with them about the things you disagree with. Your ability to ally with people you slightly disagree with but agree on most issues is the number 1 way you become set apart from internet-based activism.

Be suspicious of anyone promoting inaction as activism. (Yes that's about the not voting people.) You don't become impure if you vote for the candidate who is the least shit, or has the most chance of getting in and making things less shit. That's OCD thinking that for some reason has become mainstream on tumblr among non-sufferers and sufferers alike.

Posting on tumblr doesn't matter. I have seen people who convinced themselves it did go down conspiracy rabbit holes very easily. (You know- 'they are trying to silence us because of the importance of our posting!' and then it spirals from there)

People trying to guilt and shame you into doing certain things, such as rejecting your long-term mental health, or tell you that if you feel like shit all the time it's a good thing somehow- stay away from that thinking like its infectious. The most effective activism comes from people who are in an ok place mentally so they can plan and work together, not people who feel like them feeling ok is bad or offensive somehow and are making snap decisions based on this. You feeling bad doesn't help anyone.

[donnerpartyofone]

Without saying that AI imagery is categorically good or evil, art or not art, I think one of the worst consequences of its existence is how it has automatically added this Argument section to many online images where lots of people urgently make their smug assertions about whether something is fake or not, often in the absence of any clear way to tell what the truth is. And like if this gets heated enough it can make you (or me, anyway) not want anything to do with the image even if it's otherwise fun and interesting. Suddenly the whole point of its existence is this loaded thing about authenticity and fraudulence without anyone even saying exactly what those things mean to them, and this just creates a really bad smell.

It's like a mutated version of trying to watch a movie near a person who won't stop congratulating themselves for knowing that something is a special effect, and won't stop complaining that the fictional actions of the fictional characters are unrealistic, and won't stop trying to guess a twist ending instead of just experiencing the story. They just want everyone to know that they have outfoxed the movie, they have the superior intellect because the movie cannot trick them into having feelings or believing it is an unedited documentary about real life. But the AI arguments are even more onerous because movies are usually not trying to trick you into believing in a certain reality, where AI *sometimes but not always* is trying to do that. And I really do not blame anyone for worrying about getting tricked, but I do hate that we've come to this point where you can just paint every single thing you ever see with this "fake" brush, because that tends to encourage people to just check out and not give a shit. If everything is potentially fake then what's the point of caring about anything. We've gone from reasonable arguments like "the internet is full of misinformation so take X with a grain of salt" and "everything carries the editorial biases of its creators, nothing is objective" all the way over to like, oh well, everything you ever see is so likely to be a scam that the only correct response to any stimulus is to pound your chest about how cynical and unmoved you are.

Personally one of my main problems with AI art is not ethical, it's just that most of the common, accessible stuff is ugly. I really don't like the look of almost anything that comes out of Midjourney and the other immediately available programs that I'm forgetting the names of, and for me that can only be overcome by a really great and/or hilarious concept, which things are rare. I'm not interested in drawing moral conclusions about that production and I don't find it compelling to listen to people who are dogmatically for or against it. My only concern about the legitimacy or whatever of AI art is the ease with which some programs can make something that is a very close imitation of something from organic reality--and it's not just because of the potential for fraud, which is certainly worrisome, but it can also take the emotional power out of art experiences. I've seen a decent amount of truly weird, exciting AI images *that are obvious AI images* and that doesn't bother me at all. To me that's a right-tool right-job situation and that's fine. I'm more bothered by the stuff that is a very close reflection of analog creations from real life. There's someone on here who has basically invented a made-up "old master" type-painter and they post these images that are sort of acceptably familiar to something you might see in a museum--fauns chasing nymphs, ladies standing in cottage gardens, politician portraits, etc--and I'm not saying they don't have the right to do that, but I'm not sure what the point is. Like, really great real-life versions of those things already exist and I'm not sure why it's compellingly important to prove that computer software can closely imitate what's already out there. Another thing that I find sort of vexing for the same reason is the blog that posts AI images of fake tokusatsu productions. Both of the blogs I mentioned say what they are in their headers, I'm not accusing anyone of anything, but what happens to me when I see a reblog from that AI tokusatu blog is: I think "Oh cool, what show/movie is this from? What's the narrative? Was it popular or is it about to be rescued from obscurity? Who made it? Where can I see more of the filmmakers' work? It's awesome that something this unusual was constructed in real life, somebody drew this up and got it funded and then people built the suits and crafted those cool miniatures and painted the lovely matte paintings, and there was an audience for it, people used to actually accept and even crave really wild stuff like this instead of all the cookie cutter fan service-type crap flooding the market now, and...oh no, this isn't from a show or a movie. It doesn't tell me anything about a certain time period or culture or artist or type of production or the heroic things people do to realize their dreams or anything, it's just, like, somebody's modern, general idea about that stuff. Oh well, it's pretty, but now I have zero questions about it and I don't really care. I'm going back to watching actual tokusatsu movies because there are already tons of great ones from real life and I don't need anyone to simulate them for me, I can already experience the wonder and admiration they inspire for real." It just matters to me how a piece of art was made and when and where and by who, and I don't think that's crazy or backwards of me. There's more to art than just the question of whether something is a pretty picture or not, and moreover I think that if "pretty picture" is the only thing that really concerns you then that is actually OK, but you should just admit that and comfortably recuse yourself from any debates around what art is or is not.

[peppertaemint]

I've always felt that the jikookers vs. taemin feud kinda mirrored the taekookers vs. jimin situation, but at a much smaller scale, of course. I agree with you that they feel threatened by taemin's indisputable stature as an artist, as it disrupts the narrative that bts is always the first and always the best at everything, and also because jimin looks up to him and is influenced by him (as if it wasn't obvious enough before, now we got the confirmation from the man himself, thank you very much). This reminds me of taekookers getting mad at jimin for standing out so much as a performer. I mean, he obviously does, that's why they're always all up in his business instead of focusing on their favs' "records". Also, they hate the fact that they're close because they read taemin as queer, which makes them think that they actually might have kissed, once, at a party (just once). Kookie's friends look straight enough to them, so they can stay. A bit homophobic if you ask me. I'm sure that if we saw taemin around jimin publicly more often, he would've been already promoted to the same The Other Woman™ role jimin occupies for tkks. And besides all that, I could write an essay on why jimin's friendships have always been under scrutiny because many people can't take the fact that he has more going on in his life besides being the members' cheerleader and jungkook's devoted wife, but that's a different topic.

Thank you for this Ask, Anon. You raised a lot of salient points here. The one I'm gonna pick up on is Taemin's perceived queerness, with emphasis on perceived.

There is an odd thing that happens with non-fans. They mostly think he's gay, that it's obvious, and they don't really like their favourite having a connection to him. While, within the fandom community, shawols cannot decide if they think he's gay. If you were to ask around, you'd get quite a few different opinions.

I find it interesting because the "outside" community has very specific and strong opinions of him. I connected with a Korean-American lady in her 50s a while ago and talked about all things Kpop. She wasn't a shawol. One of the first things she said, unprompted, was, oh Taemin, he's gay but can never come out, what a shame/challenge for him (I was chatting from a 2Min account, just for context). I was a little floored at how readily she shared this fully-formed opinion.

It seems the world outside shawols have already made up their minds about him, in one way or another. I think about when he was young and had that beautiful long hair, but his frame was still so slight that the gender confusion for an onlooker was understandable. It must have been hard to have the world decide that you were sitting somewhere on the trans spectrum. And to know everyone thinks they know you're gay.

There is a zero percent chance of him not feeling these things, and he's certainly done both reactionary hetero-leaning performances and queer performances. Pretty Boy is and Internet War are the first that come to mind. And it's worth remembering that sometime in the early 2010s, there was a Korean news report about homosexuality in kpop idols, and he and Jonghyun were named in it (as a couple, I think 💀).

I don't love the song Pretty Boy, but the choreography with its military steps and these lyrics have a lot to say.

Hey you, tough guy / Relax your hardened shoulders / Hey feel the way I move

I’m like a speeding train / You’ll be surprised / Look at that poor girl, I hope you notice / She says “you’re a guy so…” like a habit / Why is being sensitive and prepared the opposite of being a man?

Cause I do it I do it for you / I won’t pretend to be innocent like a puppet / Everyone talks so easily

I may always seem pretty, I may always seem good / I may seem nice, I may seem soft / But that’s all a part of your imagination that’s over my head / (Pretty Boy)

[longeyelashedtragedy]

2023 post

i'm struggling through this with a kind of broken keyboard (sticky M U J keys) so bear with me!

because the last month of this year has been such a fucking nightmare (that i'll be working to remove myself from come tuesday) i realized that the good things that happened this year kind of escaped me.

cause--this year was good, in ways that as always with my life cannot be seen by the outside world. it was a messy year but some things changed that i still haven't fully made sense of.

-this year i met so many cool people on here, or got closer to some other people who i'd known before. if "meeting cool people on tumblr" was a skill you could put on your resume, i would definitely feel qualified to put it on my resume, but this year i feel like i just got acquainted with a really high quality group of people (all who support different teams, too!) and that's been so much fun and rewarding as well. i always feel a bit guarded telling people that i care about them but...i do. a lot!

-this june i went on a #YOLO trip to the netherlands that i could not afford but even now when i see my charming credit card debt i have to say i have No Regerts. i got to meet two of these tumblr friends who i've been close to for long enough that they've transcended "internet friend" for me and feel like Friends I've Known a Long Time. we had such a comfortable and fun time travelling together, to a place i've wanted to visit since i was young, and the benefit of meeting Tumblr Friends in real life is that you can make sure everyone's brain needs are taken care of! together we went to see italy beat NL (feat. virg van d slur in the flesh) in the stadium and then watched croatia lose to spain in the basement of a sports bar in utrecht and they got to see that it's 100% true that i cry during the croatian national anthem before the game 😂 i got to do so many bucket list things--visit the rijksmuseum, go solo to delft and see all the vermeer places and settings of my favorite book, girl with a pearl earring (and accidentally wander into a government building looking for a church, whoops), and see the girl with a pearl earring herself for the second time, but this time at her home in the mauritshuis. also i took a lot of fun trains and like every time i go from american Big Corn Syrup and Weird Additives food to europe, everything i ate was good as fuck. and i slept in a pod for two nights! i have the opposite of claustrophobia (claustro...philia? lol) so that slapped. so great, and getting to meet up with friends who live on the other side of an ocean is so fucking special.

-LAMPARDVERSE! nuff said, but it's been an absolute blast getting to co-create it and research all the lore. this is just the beginning, long may it live!!! also thanks to you all for putting up with me blasting a white english chelsea man on your dashes. it will happen again.

-irl stuff...the most unexpected. this year i was able to comfortably become friendly with people who are quite different from me. i was confident in the parts of my personality that are Different--i had fun owning it, and i saw that people really like that person. the craziest thing was that a huge obstacle in my path was that cptsd causes me to feel physically uncomfortable around people, even people i like, aside from emotional discomfort, but the thing is when your body is getting physical danger signals they're extremely difficult to "ignore" (for a reason!) or put aside to focus on the mental stuff.

this year i just went for it--went through months of extremely draining and uncomfortable "exposure therapy" by way of forcing myself to try to stay present in conversations with people i knew i liked, even if the conversations/their presence freaked me out and drained me. (i'm not some magical uwu inspiration/good luck miracle, for anyone who might be in this situation and feel envious--i've been in intense therapy since 2013, do a lot of my own mental work in between, and take two different medications. it took me 10 years to get there! i say this cause there is no shame in the hard work.) importantly, with the people i felt i trusted enough and whose opinion of me i valued enough for them to know the truth, i just told them what was going on with me. not in any graphic detail or TMI, but i told them one of the things that has a big impact on how i present to the outside world (i suffer from trauma), what this trauma suffering looks like to the outsider (sometimes i stop talking altogether in a conversation, and not just that, but i zone out so hard that it looks like i'm not even paying attention, even though sometimes i still am), and what it means about how i feel about them/how they should take it (it means nothing at all, so please please don't take it personally)

they took this level of openness and honesty very well, and i found that telling them these limitations of mine helped to set me free. not living with the lifetime fear of being "found out," not having to worry while i was having a Trauma Moment that people were thinking badly of me and that it was severely impacting my socialization--all of this suddenly helped me start staying in the present while talking to people and while people were talking to me. and not just stay in the present but--ENJOY it. get something out of it. and, to show my work-friends that even though i have a lot of things not in common with them--that that's cool, and we still have plenty of things we do have in common

the kindness people have shown me this year after Seeing Me and getting to know me was unreal. i don't know how to process it. (this applies to you guys on tumblr too!). so many things have happened this fall and so many things were said to me that i never, ever, EVER thought i would be able to experience. i hope this lasts and i hope i can build on this in the new year.

so yeah...this year was...something alright. i'm always an even age in an even year and the evens are never as good for me as the odds (other than like, age 14. that was a good time.) but let's hope for the best.

now, i hate new year's eve/day, so let's get this shit over with!

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I appreciate the breakdown (you do a great job with those). I just think she's afraid for herself and for what a tragedy could do to Miles. I just dont like the term shutting down lol. Up to this point, she believes in these canon events. I think it pains her that she can't hold his hand like she wants to. She would love nothing more to believe that "There's a first time for everything".

Funny enough, the next time se see them is on top of the rooftop with her saying feelings make her hungry

@underthestyx

Okay, seems more than one person had asked me about this, let's talk about it.

Like I indicated in the analysis, a lot of stuff is happening on that scene, we have multiple moments with Gwen kind of pulling away just to also get a bit closer, as I said earlier, a lot of push and pull.

I don't think there can be a definitive answer for sure in this situation, since Gwen again, didn't say "no" or "yes," at any moment, the things she said were drowned in subtext that make me glad not being the one at the other end of that conversation because I would had probably left very confused.

Perhaps shutting down is too strong of a word for what is happening in this context, she isn't saying outright no so I guess it cannot qualify.

However, why I am still on the fence about this?

Well, I will be the first to admit that personal biases come into play.

I am a person that tries to go more than for what is being said that other signals, mostly because I am not good reading them. Is easier in media and more in animation since everything has a purpose and a reason to be; but in real life something that is being done and said in a certain tone can have another 50 factors not related to me and I have no way to know which one is which.

Something I learned along the way is that regardless if is a lie or the true, people say what they say because they want you to believe it; and the reason as to why they want you to think that can be more important than the actual answer at times.

Ultimately I think either read is valid because the situation is extremely ambiguous; Gwen doesn't take the next step to what would be actually dating, yet always stays close and makes sure to Miles to know that he is special to her and she sees him in a light different than everyone else, even if she can't bring herself to say which light.

Yet I can't see it in any other way because for me, she leaving his comment hanging after talking about not being a good idea, outweighs the rest.

Sorry to anyone who was expecting me to go into an even more in depth analysis to justify my point; but I had been on the internet for too long to think is a good idea to double down on something when you don't have a clue what you are talking about.

And I am glad we can hear other people out! I wanted to do these analysis because I think there is a lot of merit to what is going on in the screen that is worth talking.

So let's continue with the conversation, feel free to reblog with your own addendum or do your own post if you feel inclined.