#but i felt really good the last few days | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

aj-theteenagecondition · 4 months ago

Text

something that feels so unfair in life is being lonely and knowing how many people on here would actually want to hang out at all hours if they in the same town as each other

like my friends who live 2 blocks away are out of town or too busy or just arent feeling it and i know that there are people on here who would hang out for 48 hours straight and still have a good time but none of them are 2 blocks away.

if that even makes sense

#i just feel like shitty today #but i felt really good the last few days #i just want to see my friends #but none of them seem to want to actually see me

0 notes

skunkes · 2 months ago

Text

something so 🙁 about when I have moments of liking my art... I wish I could bottle this feeling and hide it for myself to find later before I wake back up in the time loop where I have to fight my way through the endless self criticism from the beginning

#talkys #though tbf last time i had the Art Bad crisis i was also trying to channel the Good emotions #bc id felt Good about it a few days prior. ykwim. like ugh. how do i Keep It. it really is like waking up with a wiped memory #just an endless loop of ''idk how i felt that way before''

38 notes · View notes

spaghett-onaplate · 5 months ago

Text

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world??#very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting ->#primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭)#but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you?#anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool'#and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

27 notes · View notes

not-poignant · 1 year ago

Text

PSA

After a miserable few days, which always happens when I get anons that share a facecast or facecasts with me, I'll no longer be responding to any anon facecasts because it's not really about me and there's no real safe way to respond for me and there never has been.

I love when y'all facecast characters and enjoy doing that, it's a type of fandom engagement I hate doing personally and I don't enjoy being asked to engage with, and have said increasingly over the years, but I will always 100% support you doing it for yourself, and think it's great that others get enjoyment out of this.

But I don't. And I'm no longer going to host that part of fandom here.

I've deleted all previous ask responses on facecasting and am going to leave this one up in the tags as my reference in the future.

#housekeeping #facecasting #facecasts #you want to share that stuff make a blog to share it on #or share it with friends #or share it with people who also enjoy facecasting #there's whole sections of fandom just dedicated to facecasting #that i have actively avoided all my life #i have never wanted to turn the anon function off more than i have the last few days #and it's been years since i've felt like turning off anon #y'all can be *pushy*#but all i will ever offer you going forward is silence or a 'it's great that you enjoy doing that'#my job isn't to be a personal validation machine #and *I do not facecast*#which puts me in a really awkward and uncomfortable position #and you know what i've never felt good about replying to a single facecast post of any kind #that has asked me what i think about X name/celebrity/actor/model/athlete #and it's time that i was just really honest about that lol

51 notes · View notes

stabbyfoxandrew · 5 months ago

Text

i want to crawl under my desk and go to sleep

#that is not possible because i cannot fit under there #damn it #i want a nest man #somewhere nice and cozy and just for me where i can stare at the wall for hours #that sounds.. good #btw i'm really tired of not being a pretty boy like what the fuck #lol the mental illness really shining through tonight #but i opened pinterest and almost burst into tears because there was a pretty guy and i am not him #sigh i guess i have to be this horrible thing until i die #unfair really #i need to be medicated i think it would help #i just haven't felt great the last few days #wait. couple of weeks?#i can't remember.#but i don't feel like me.#at least i have my stupid otome soundtrack to keep me company sing at me pretty anime boys.#lol watch me delete this in 9 minutes or smth #unless i forget #idk i just wanted to vent i guess don't read this shit #i'm happy nice aerie really. just not right now #god it's only 7:45 #at least my hair is clean i guess #sigh #diaerie #delete later

7 notes · View notes

aroaessidhe · 1 month ago

Text

2024 reads / storygraph

Apollo Ascending series

Greek myth inspired fantasy romance series

Apollo is forced to spend a year with the prince of a neighboring kingdom before ascending to godhood, despite hating everything gods stand for and wanting to stay mortal with his sister

Prince Hyacinth is dealing with taking over his father’s responsibilities, and having to host the unruly almost-god, while his sister tries not to be forced into a role and marriage she doesn’t want, as she’s in love with a stablehand

romance, drama, tragedy, and a war against the gods,

5 POVs, m/m m/f & aroace

#a veil of gods and kings #apollo ascending #aroaessidhe 2024 reads #Okay I did entirely read this for the aroace character. I doubt I would have read all of them if I wasn’t offline for a few days lmao #Overall though I enjoyed it? Enough to read all of them anyway. I feel like they were about what I expected them to be.#the greek myth inspired fantasy world was interesting (though definitely inspired and doing its own thing #I almost wanted it to be a little More in the direction of originality (renaming more of them etc))#there sure is a lot of drama and tragedy and politics!#I felt like there was a good balance of romance and plot (obviously going into it knowing that it is romance heavy)#I appreciate that it built up the girls’ friendship a lot (in the first book at least)#I wasn’t sure about the writing initially but I got used to it.#Have to say the repeated use of the word badass felt anachronistic compared to the rest of the worldbuilding.#val & epiphany’s back and forth started to get a bit tiresome.#and gotta say the last book felt a bit drawn out - it kinda felt like what was going on with hyacinth was dragged on #for the whole book so that they could fit all of epiphany’s plot in there #but anyway since it’s why I read these: artemis is aroace. it’s only really brought up briefly 3 or 4 times but I feel like the fact that…#it’s artemis…. there’s some precedent. she’s got POV in books 2-4 and has just as much of her own plotline as the others #I thought the platonic take on her relationship with orion was interesting #would I recommend reading just for aroace reasons? probably not unless you’re otherwise interested

3 notes · View notes

onrainynights · 1 month ago

Text

I'm about to be so annoying btw

#by this I mean I'm going to talk about my job until it's no longer new and exciting sorry guys #but this is literally the first good thing to happen to me in MONTHS #shit has been so bad like SO unbelievably bad for a WHILE #like. not only do I have a job (!!!!!!) but it actually seems like a really good fit for me and what I need #like. the hours aren't horrible and in fact I could stand to have more of them #the pay isn't *good* but it's not the worst I've ever made for sure #the work environment though... that's where it gets me. because I get to just be one guy in a store interacting with customers and literally #nobody else #for most of my workday #like. no small talk except for with customers. no learning about my coworker's stupid life. no trying to get along with someone for the sake #of work #like. I just get to be alone and sell shit and when it's slow I get to organize shit like. hello??? yes please #I don't have to be micromanaged because I'm literally alone. like. god I'm so excited #plus it's similar to work I've done before. so. yay #I do really like the coworker I've met before though. he's very sedate and has excellent customer service.#which I know bc every time my mom shops there and he's the one working he's very genial and nice #definitely good at his job. but I wouldn't be surprised if he was getting high in the back or something lmao #he's just so calm ive never met a dude more chill like. he seems like the exact opposite of anxious #and then my other coworker I haven't met yet but I'm sure she's fine.#I do like my boss though! and she's only my boss until they get another manager bc she's actually the manager at another location too #she's just filling in here while they look for another manager #but I like her she was extremely up-front and no-nonsense and plainly stated exactly what she needs from an employer #employee*#which is honestly such a relief like my last job I felt like I had no clue what people wanted from me and it was horrible #but this seems better so far #also I know for a fact I beat out two other people who had interviews the same day and I was so much the preferred choice #that she didn't even wait to decide or anything #she called me like a few hours after my interview ended like. that 3rd person left and she immediately hired me instead lol #which I have to admit does feel good after so long feeling inadequate and unhirable.#I am more hirable than at least two people. so THERE

2 notes · View notes

thebigqueer · 3 months ago

Text

i dont wanna eat anything or do anything and i just wanna lay around but i also dont wanna do that and i dont wanna watch anything or read anything and idk what i wanna do

#i was supposed to have someone review my resume and i was banking on the fact that maybe talking to someone instead of being alone in my roo #would help me out but the whole appointment system maker thing was messed up so we couldnt even meet #so i literally hvae nothing better to do than wait the next few days to get back to campus #and i was soooo excited to go back to school and i still am cuz i know itll make me feel better being around people #but im just a lot less excited than i was #cuz i just really really hate the idea of having to spend another fall semester getting over someone #like i couldve probably handled spring semester. but fall semester???? when theres already enough desolateness as it is???#like i just hate hate htae the idea of being on buses and starting to cry again and its midnight at 4pm when im crying #and theres people everywhere and the wrost part is shes literally on the same campus as me!!! so now i might actually see her!!!#and i dont want to!!!#i want to be friends but right now i know if i see her again ill just start sobbing on the spot #i was so excited for thsi fall sem but now im just notttt #and i know ill be busier (hopefully) this sem so im sure ill be better off than last year #but still like. idfk i dont know what to do. i think i just need to hear someone elses voice #im supposed to talk to my friend later today so maybe thatll help #cuz im kinda ready to tell someone about it but what if she telsl me she cant call what am i suppsoed to doooo #cuz last year the person iw as getting over lived a bajillion miles from me so it was easier!!! but she and I live 5 mins from each other #AND SHES FREINDS WITH LIKE ALL MY ROOMMATES #THEYRE ALL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS !!!!#GODDDD.#i mean there are def upsides to this . for example its good we broke up now #cuz imagine if we broke up cuz of a fight and then thered be a big issue in the friend group #but it ended well and i dont think our friends / roommates will be 'picking sides'#as long as i just dont do anything drastic lol #adn who knows maybe our friendship will bounce back and i really hope it does!!#but she and i didnt start off as friends we kinda went into this knowing we were into each other to begin with #so like how do i be friends with her you know???#and friendship is soo important to me so its not like i dont want to be friends with her. i really really do. i just dont know how itll wor #like i value friendship over romantic relationships any day but also our relationship felt so deep to me #which is why im scared that we wont be friends even though i know we both want to be

2 notes · View notes

daz4i · 11 months ago

Text

i have a hard time getting tipsy bc I'm a big guy and can't drink much bc of sensory issues so it basically only works when I'm on an empty stomach and drinking smth strong. which is what i did earlier. and! it feels so nice i get why people drink now.

#last time i drank anything alcoholic was in april. for reference #it was a few cocktails but they didn't really do much 🤔#last time i managed to get tipsy tho. was years ago. when i was still in therapy lol #i remember it was like. the only day i felt good in awhile then. which is not a good sign probably :P #and i do feel nice now too. bit of a haze bit it's not like dissociation #let's hope i can keep this vibe going 🫡

7 notes · View notes

kittlyns · 7 months ago

Text

I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day

#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute #so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back.#pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few.#over and over and over.#and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick.#and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much #but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment.#which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow?#even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it #she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan #I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!!#no response. deep inhale. alright.#whatever tho.#when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning #and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area.#and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell #like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color.#I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH???#and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine.#there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him #and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times.#there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously.#I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out #was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do.#got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night.#put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over #blahhhhhh #and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!

2 notes · View notes

dockaspbrak · 2 months ago

Text

Been doing laundry for. 6 hours. Still not done. Havent been able to do anything else in meantime. Its like purgatory

#em yaps #i fucking wish i didnt do this. i got so wrapped up in how nice itd be to have it all set and done that i forgot about my physical wellbeing #which is not great #i feel abysmal #and i did this... KNOWING ive felt really bad the last few days #good lord #im like. so not rocking.#dreading going home. dreading passage of time #dreading everything

1 note · View note

overheaven · 1 year ago

Text

i’ve had such a fun last few days talking to some special pals online… like catching my dears when we’re both online and available, able to have an actual in-the-moment conversation, not just playing catch up with messages we sent while one of us was offline. getting excited and inspired about things with each other! it really reminded me of old school ways of socializing and friendship online. i was getting giddy waiting for replies! it was just like being on aim/msn hahah

i have a lot of big thoughts about the Always Online format of this iteration of the internet we’re in and i really really need to write a whole blog post about that to sort my feelings out about that whole bullshit (and devise ways to cope with the bullshit since it’s just how things are now) but yeah i just wanna say. i really love how organic that felt and how excited i was to log on and see some friends online at the same time, and boomerang messages back and forth as instant messaging should be! instant, chatty! not just a repackaging of emails.

and thats not to even mention the content of the messages which were just such fun moments of jamming about creativity and discovering some common interests to bond over… thank u friends who live in my phone and on my computer 🫶 i really love you!

#and to friends i don’t get a chance to talk to often: i’m still trying to get better at striking up conversations #instead of being shy to the point of only reacting #or even avoidant because i get easily overwhelmed with forcing replies to messages that are weeks old #maybe i’m just having a really good upswing; maybe it’s something like hyperactivity or even some kind of mania #but yeah i just. felt good these last few days. felt seen and loved in a way that was real and genuine and not forced or parasocial #i have a lot to process about communication and friendship building… maybe i’ll talk about this in therapy 2morro #pangs talks #posts to show my therapist

4 notes · View notes

minettas-ploy · 8 months ago

Text

/