#after my parents... i think its her reaction or thoughts acceptance that i care about the most

[minettas-ploy]

/

[the-kr8tor]

I don’t know if you’re still taking asks for fluffy Friday but could you do a fic of the Hobie x reader twin AU, where the reader goes into labor and has the twins and their reactions during and after the twins are born!! Your recent one of them seeing the ultrasound was so cute!! But now I kinda wanna see the chaos and the cute that follows lol!! I feel like the doctors would low key be intimidated by Hobie cause he’d taking care of reader but also be staring them down 😂 to the point they’re ask him to leave but he doesn’t of course!! Sorry for the long ask!! Your last fic was just to AMAZING 🤩 !!

Ahhh another twin au request! Thank you for sending this one ❤️

Pairing: Hobie Brown x fem! Reader/ Spider-Punk x fem! Reader

Tags: no use of Y/N, no specific physical description of the reader, TW blood mention, Billie and Ramona AU, twin AU.

ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

You were in an unimaginable pain, the kind you would never wish on anyone, your voice is hoarse from all the screaming and cussing out whoever was unfortunate enough to slightly annoy you. Too bad for Hobie, your annoyance and anger were mostly thrown at him. You had him in an iron grip, he's sure his hand would be aching for days to come. He's been a great help in alleviating the pain, patting your sweaty face dry, feeding you ice chips, whispering words of encouragement and the occasional glare at the doctor who arrived fashionably late to the party.

The epidural was your best friend that you've never thought you'd even befriend. You were sure that you wouldn't need it but after what must've been the umpteenth contraction, you were more than happy to accept its friendship.

After twenty hours of labor, all the literal blood, sweat and tears were all worth it. From the first cry of the older twin came a sudden elation, then the younger came only after five minutes apart from her sister with a loud energetic cry. You were in pain, now everything you're currently feeling is extreme happiness, and also fatigue you've never experienced before.

Following all the ‘good jobs’ from the hospital staff and numerous tearful kisses from Hobie, it's safe to say you're officially a parent to the most beautiful pair of twins. Your girls, the light of your life.

With both babies cleaned and you wiped from all the fluids, they're properly swaddled and checked by the doctor and nurses, you lay almost half asleep with your babies on your bare chest. Hands securing them atop their tiny torsos. They gurgle, making the cutest sound you've ever heard whilst Hobie takes hundreds of pictures with his digital camera. He still can't believe his eyes at the little family he now has.

“Hobie,” you say hoarsely, eyes watery from all the happy sobbing and tiredness. “I think you've got all their angles covered.”

He lifts the camera off his eye, greeting you with a genuine grin. “Alright, let me have a turn at them so you can sleep”

You scoot over, giving him space to sit right next to your hip. Hobie takes the oldest first in his arm with slight trepidation and oh so careful like he's handling the finest china.

“Hi, dad's got you” Hobie looks down at his daughter staring up at him with curious eyes, he doesn't miss the fact that she mirrors your own, almost a copy of yours. With a quick peck on top of her forehead, he moves to take the youngest and smallest from your arms. You help him by cradling the back of her head. “And I've got you too”

She answers with her lips wobbling, looking like she's about to cry her little heart out. Hobie bounces her lightly, making cooing sounds that he would always make when the twins were particularly rowdy in your belly. It works, she still frowns up at her dad but the tears don't fall.

“My brave girl, huh? Just like mum” he leans down slightly, juggling his girls whilst he lifts up the blanket to cover your bare chest. “You did amazingly, love” Hobie tells you for the tenth time just in case you forgot.

You hum in reply, heart tender at the sight in front of you. Hands cupping both his elbows, your way of helping him carry the bundles of joy.

“Did you at least make me look good in the photos?” You gesture to the digital camera on the side table. “I must look horrible in all of them after all that”

Hobie shakes his head, “you're as beautiful as the day I met you, and it's impossible for you to look horrible in pictures”

“Even after almost pooping while I was pushing them out?”

“Especially then” you laugh softly, winching at the soreness.

“You alright?” Hobie scooches closer to you, sharing his warmth, taking a quick glimpse at his girls already sleeping. He's not jealous at all.

“I'm okay, promise” you drop your hands from his elbows down to his thighs, too tired to lift them for a second more. “How are they?”

“Sleeping, you should be too” he observes you closely, your eyebrows slightly knitted, hands limp over his thighs.

“We haven't even decided names for them yet” you whisper.

“We've got plenty of time for that. Sleep, they'll be here when you wake up, yeah?”

“I don't think I want to, I just wanna stare at them forever” you fight an oncoming yawn.

“Sleep or I'll name them B one and B two” he jokes.

“You wouldn't” you do your best glare despite the sleep slowly enveloping you.

“You wanna bet? On second thought Bert and Ernie sounds better”

You surrender, “alright, alright, I'll sleep” your eyes threaten to close. “I really like the first one you suggested, it's Ramona, right?”

“Love” he says sternly with hints of fondness.

You giggle, “okay, love you. All three of you” giving them one last look over, you finally succumb to sleep.

“We love you too”

[quimichi]

Hello! This is my first time asking so forgive my mistakes,

I don’t know if you’ve done this before but could you do headcanons for a reader who’s lumine’s traveling partner and when their in liyue (I don’t remember how it’s spelt 🥲) Qiqi randomly starts addressing them as her parent, uhhh what’s the reaction of the liyue crew (who kinda have feels for reader) when reader just accepts it and calls her their daughter

Gosh that was long, yea that’s my ask sorry for the mistakes 😅 you don’t have to do it if you’re busy

-Honey Anon

. . . . ╰──╮BEING QIQI'S "PARENT" ╭──╯ . . . .

PLATONIC!Qiqi x GN!Reader

¡! ❞ having qiqi refer to you as her parent, which is clearly not the truth, is a situation you needed to get used to

¡! ❞ but no wonder she thinks you're her parent when you take care of her. Yes, Baizhu does too but you somehow manage to not order her around and rather gently guide her and help. (Not like baizhu would mistreat her or anything!)

¡! ❞ you always remind her to take her notebook with her, on her worst days she may forget it to take it. On the absolute worst days she even forgot where she put it. Luckily you always remember

¡! ❞ awww look at you always packing her lunch for when she works at bubu pharmacy. And the lunch always includes coconut milk, thats very important

¡! ❞ you know she can't taste anything, but she can feel textures and temperatures, so her lunchbox may look weird to people who dont know. You always try your best to pack in every food she likes the texture or temperature of

¡! ❞ I don't really know if she needs to eat and drink but--pls it's to cute

¡! ❞ Qiqi also looooves to pick herbs with you! She can't really show emotions but having you by her side all day long really makes her feel "better". With you she feels like she can't forget anything

¡! ❞ she read in books how parents act with their children, and this is what you do with her. So obviously you must be her parent!

¡! ❞ she's proud of that conclusion tho

¡! ❞ she mostly stays over at your place, sleeps with you all cuddled up in her parents arms. Its cute, really

¡! ❞ she's stuck with you, or you're rather with her but who would complain about little cute qiqi being glued to your side?

¡! ❞ Lumine and Paimon also find it adorable, weird at first but it's cute. Paimon tried once or twice to explain qiqi that you are indeed not her parent but Lumine always stops her. Crushing a little zombies dreams like this is not what they want.

¡! ❞ but they're happy for you and sometimes even join in, in the herb adventures if they have time

¡! ❞ Baizhu on the other hand was not surprised at qiqi calling you her parent. (Considering he probably was the one who gave her the books where the most basic human stuff was written down so she would remember or know) Theres not much that can surprise him. But hes sure also very happy. At first he was worried, you could hurt her or play around with her forgetfull mind. But you didn't, you helped even more and then he was relieved. What a relief no he doesn't have to poison you---

¡! ❞ and after more time spend with you and qiqi together he understood why she feels this way. Youre patient, caring and supportive. Like a good parent should be. Hes even prouer when qiqi seemed to have thought you some things about herbs. It was for sure a accident she did but now you can even help around in Bubu pharmacy with little to no struggle

¡! ❞ not Baizhu realizing he caught feelings after a few months. Panic--like this was not his intention at all-

¡! ❞ but Zhongli was definitely warm around he heart. What a nice and caring person you must be that a child will call you their parent. He already was interested in you before but now---

¡! ❞ Qiqi calling you her parent was a big gossip in Liyue once, everybody knew or talked about it and it also came to the ears of Ningguang, Keqing and Ganyu. All three of them are taken aback by the cuteness overload of it all. Although Ganyu was more open to show how soft you made her feel with you parently behavior

¡! ❞ whenever Ningguang is in Liyue she will pay Bubu pharmacy a visit just to see you two acting along. She might even give you some Mora for Qiqi like a sugar mommy--but mostly because her heart is aching for you and your attention-pls visit her in the Jade palace too, you might also bring Qiqi along for a evening tea! Be careful to not let her fall down tho---

A/n: getting the others involved was very hard to do and didn't truned out this well but--yeah

[noahsbookhoard]

📚February 2024 Book Review (Part 2/3)📚

Second batch of books read in February! I have mixed feelings about this one: there's really really good (the 3rd of the book I had a book crush on this month) and there's... less good.

Histoire de coming out by Baptiste Beaulieu and Sophie Nanteuil

A practical and empathic guide for friends and family in the event of a loved one's coming out, full of testimony from LGBTQ+ people and their relatives.

I only discovered Baptiste Beaulieu late last year but I already really admire him: he is a general physician, openly gay man and father of "the most beautiful baby in the world". He is also really funny, caring, and generally a good person who isn't afraid to speak out when he think something is wrong.

He wrote several novels but he also coedited this guide with Dr Sophie Nanteuil, and even though I already came out (non too successfully) to my parents I wanted to see what advice they would give.

They cover pretty much every aspect and every possible reaction to a child's coming out (it is very parent focused but not only). They even have a testimony from a parent who never accepted their child's identity, got angry and cut contact.

I think the strength in this guide is that it only focuses on the coming out part: there is next to nothing on queer history or the subtleties of queer identities, but when your child just came out to you you might not care about Stonewall or the nuances between pan and bi people: what you need and what this book has, is sympathy for the parent's feeling, patient how-to on what (not) to say/do and insight on how your child might be feeling (the statistics on suicide among queer youth without family support are chiling)

A worthy read, even if I don't get to use it I wish I could have.

Harrow the Ninth (The Locked Tomb #2) by Tamsyn Muir

After the events of Gideon the Ninth, Harrow ascended to Lyctorhood. However she lacks many Lyctor's ability and lost part of her memory in the process. Mystery unfurled when she receives letters written to herself before the memory loss and when a newcomer makes Canaan House unsafe.

I absolutely loved Gideon the Ninth so I had really high hopes for book 2 and I am not disappointed!

However I was completely lost when I started reading, as I was expecting to find a narrative style similar to book 1. The second person narration was unsettling enough but it took me a while to understand the when where and what (that was on purpose certainly, but that explains why reviews for this book are either excellent or really bad). Even more confusing to was the chapters with Harrow and her rewriting of the event of Gideon the Ninth: I hadn't read the book that long ago but I felt like it had been ages and I remembered it all wrong!

Had it been any other book I might have thought twice before continuing. But this is Tamsyn Muir, she earned the benefit of the doubt: I read on, quite certain it would eventually make sense.

I won't spoil anything because Harrow the Ninth is best experienced in all its unsettling glory: the tense atmosphere fit really well with both Harrow's discomfort and pain and with the escalating uneasiness in Canaan. The answers to it all treacle down at just the right pace to keep the reader on edge and the more it goes the more in love I fell with the wolrdbuilding.

My only regret was the noticeable lack of Gideon and Palamedes for most of the novel, but with that ending the author is more than forgiven. Also the memes. The only reason I hadn't put Nona the Ninth on top of the TBR right after finishing this on was because I needed to stretch the pleasure while waiting for Alecto the Ninth's release date.

Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros

Violet Sorrengail, daughter of the famed General Sorrengail wants to follow into her mother and sister's footsteps and become a Rider, a soldier chosen by a dragon and flying with them into battle. To achieve this she will have to survive the very dangerous training at the Academy and, even more dangerous, avoid Xaden Riorson, who hates Violet's mother and Violet herself. Or maybe not?

Do I really have to do this?

I read this book because my sister messaged me saying "You HAVE to read it it's GREAT!" So as the loving sibling I am, I put it on top of the TBR and started as soon as I finished Harrow the Ninth.

Let's be diplomatic: this book has an audience since it's been a tiktok succes, taste is subjective and personal and my opinions do no reflect the quality of the book, only my experience reading it. I'm not on tiktok and not into romantasy in general, so I wasn't the target audience. And I did no research before diving in, this book and I started on the wrong foot.

Now to be less diplomatic if it wasn't for my sister this book would have flown through the window after page 42 (specifically).

I found the world building very bland (and was put off by the kingdom being named Navarre: it exists, it’s in Spain and last I checked there's no dragon in Pamplona). The author uses one of the worst way to introduce lore I've ever read: The Protagonist Infodumps When She Is In Mortal Peril. There might have been some interesting details put into the classification of dragons but I can't take any interest in it when the main character is currently dangling from the Climbing Wall of Doom.

The main character, Violet, has plot harmour 5 inches thick: she is supposed to have a physical disability but it only interferes when the plot wants it too and she is always saved in the nick of time (although I do not suffer from EDS, so I can't really judge the quality of the representation). Every little task and exercise in her school is a death trap and at some point I just stopped worrying she might get killed because students can just murder each other in the corridors. There's other way to create tension than "... or you will DIE"

I was uninterested in the character because they have the personality of papier maché. The only ones who are a bit less shallow (yet unterly unoriginal, I felt like reading Twilight but with dragons) are the main love triangle and they are absolutely unsufferable. The characters also all talk exactly the same way: Sarcastic Quipping TM is fun when one or two people at most do it, but they all do dragons included! I couldn't stand any of the character except on and he frickin dies!

I read it all, which proves I love my sister, but definitely not enough to read the sequel. You owe me one, sis.

The Wee Free Men (Discworld #30) by Terry Pratchett

Tiffany Aching always saw things a little differently from everybody else; according Miss Tick, a travelling teacher, that makes her a witch just like her Granny. When her little brother is taken by the Queen of the fairies, the young witch-in-training must save him and in her qusst she can count on the help of the Nac Mac Feegle, rowdy but courageous fae folk.

This is my first time reading the Discword series and contrary to every advice in the entire Terry Pratchett fanbase, I am reading them in chronological order. So far it's been a blast! I do not regret this reading order, even if it's not the best one to start with.

Therefore when my reading led me to the first Tiffany Aching book, I had no doubt it would be a really great young reader book. Still I wasn't expecting to cry but damn, missing your grandma is a universal feeling and Sir Terry Pratchett nailed it.

I would have like Tiffany when I was a kid: she is smart, brave, curious, she sees right through the adults. She reminds me a little of Roal Dahl's Matilda. The Nac Mac Feegle are really funny and endearing: they are just as enjoyable as an adult when you get all the jokes as for children who will find the accent and banter amusing. That makes me want to check the french translation to see how Patrick Couton handled the scottishness.

What I love in the plot is how simple it appears (the quest to a magic world with supernatural allies to save an sibling) yet it has that Pratchett twist, his character's cleverness and the art of the little sentences that have you pause and think for a minute.

I would definitely give it to a child if I ever have any. Even if they start shouting "Craven!" that would be worth it.

[hanafubukki]

hana, correct me if this is wrong but i just rewatch the final parts of the update and it seems that Lilias dream is still ongoing. ???

The memories played before Silver was due to the ring's magic rather than Lilia's dream itself. (Like It shone when he was swallowed by the darkness right???)(my memory is fuzzy on how this started so feel free to correct me 😂😂)

I'm thinking this because I held the assumption that "Lilia didn't change anything about his dreamworld" like "he wouldve like to meet Silver and embrace the change even if it led to the loss of his first family" but even after this update—which i had high hopes that'll reveal the purpose of Lilia's dream— we still didnt get it.

Malenoa sacrificed herself, thats what we know in reality. But we saw how Lilia was forced to flee before she could die, and the last moment of this update, we're still in that bridge where we got seperated from Lilia and Baul bcs we have to take care of the blot swallowing Silver---

SO We are still on the run and and---maybe that means that the theory that Lilia wishes Levan and Malenoa were alive thats why he's having this dream still stands???

Like When he finally reaches Black Scale Castle with the egg, Meleanor shouldve arrived later as well.

Im still holding onto this because man,,,, i want more pain 😂😂😂✊✊

also this "alternate reality" is also beneficial for Silver. We know that Lilia is aware that Silver gets hurt knowing hes causing Lilia pain or him realizing that Lilia "is not his family." So maybe if this human child shouldve grown up with his original family, he wouldnt have to be suffering under him whos "incapable of love."

Maybe in the case where Meleanor is alive, the Silver Owls retreat, (maybe their ill king got cured and they stop chasing after Princess Glow lol) the wars stopped between nations then Baby Silver wouldnt have been alone waiting for someone to take care of him if his parents were there, he couldve lived a normal and happy life as the crown prince. If you consider that his original life, "its much better than Lilia could offer", didnt he also say that he shouldnt hesitate to search for his original parents?? What if this is what he meant and wish for as well???

That if only there was a world where there is no war, then Meleanor couldve lived, Levan would be found, Malleus wouldnt be alone, and Silver wouldnt torment himself from the sins of his ancestors.

Hello Lian 🌺🌷💚

Yep, we are still in Lilia’s dream still and something about how Lilia and Baul are being chased so they are going to hurry after them. I feel like next update will have Lilia waking up now that Silver has accepted himself.

Yessss!! The ring shines and omg I have thoughts and feelings on it because some said that is silvers bio dad guiding him and I’m so soft abhhh

Honestly, I think Lilia’s dreams means that despite the sacrifices and everything he went through. He was happy to have the connections and what led him to his family. He ended up with malleus and eventually with silver because of these circumstances. He also saw what kind of man the knight of dawn was too.

I am curious though, why it’s not exactly as ���happy” as we assumed it would be. So I definitely see your point!! It also seems that lilia is somewhat aware?? That it’s a dream?? Because silver heard lilia was calling out to him. So I wonder maybe if lilia is somehow controlling the dream

I imagine the queen had similar powers to malleus?? And maybe we will see her UM?? And that will give a clue??

Andkdkdjsbw Lian did you have to hurt me this way?? I wonder if lilia knowing that silver is there…maybe he also wants silver to know his birth parents loved him??

I feel like if lilia believes that he didn’t provide enough for silver…I feel like silver is going to finally break and angry yell at him for such thoughts. Because doesn’t father know?? How much he’s loved??

My worry is malleus not knowing any of this. And him watching and his reaction to it all. He loves his family so much so if this is the first time he heard…then I can’t imagine the chaos of emotions he has.

[jacksdinonuggets]

Hello!

How about something with little Amity and caregiver Lilith?

Maybe she's young enough to need protection and ends up having an accident after a nap or by being too absorbed in her playing. She obviously feels super embarrassed but also afraid of Lilith's reaction, so she decides to try and hide it and say nothing, but eventually Lilith realizes something is wrong because Amity feels super uncomfortable, grumpy and sad.

Here it is! sorry it took awhile!

also, since i don't own any diapers or protection (too scared to ask my mom even though she kind of knows I want to try it out), I might've gotten some of the descriptions wrong. sorry if i did.

Amity had her lessons with her mentor at Lilith’s parents house. They had been doing their lessons at Gwen and Del’s house since it was the only other place they could do it at. However, Amity hasn’t regressed in a long time and it was taking a toll on her. 

She knocked on the door to the house and Lilith answered.

“Good afternoon, Amity! I have the basement set up, but before we train, I just think we should do a check-up.” Lilith explained, leading Amity inside and onto the living room couch.

Amity was a bit confused by this but just accepted it. She sat on the couch across from her mentor, who had a cup of tea in hand.

“So, how have you been feeling?” The older women with glasses asked her.

“Umm, f-fine. I've been feeling a lot more stressed l-lately, i guess,” Amity fidgeted with her fingers.

“When was the last time you regressed? Please, be honest with me,”

 

Amity hesitated. Should she tell her? She really needed to but also wanted to do work. It was a hard decision but she had finally made her choice.

“Uh, about a month ago?” she recalled. Lilith sighed. She knew how refreshed Amity felt after regressing and if she couldn’t do it for more than 2 weeks, then she would be extremely mentally exhausted. 

“Its okay, dear. How about we spend today’s lesson having little time?” Lilith suggested. Since she herself was a flip, her parents would often take care of her. They even made one of the storage rooms a place for her to regress and keep her little stuff. But when they found out that she caregived for Amity, they made the room more of Amity’s style since she seemed to regress more often than Lilith. Lilith would only do it about once every 2 months.

“Y-yeah, i- I would like that, please…” Amity admitted, still feeling very nervous about this stuff. 

Lilith walked with Amity upstairs where the playroom/nursery was. When they entered the room, Amity immediately felt herself slip. Just being in the room made her feel small. Luckily, the room had all of her little supplies in it. She went over to the pacifier cabinet where there were two clear plastic bins. Amity got out her bin and picked one out. Lilith quickly washed it for her and Amity plopped it in right when she was done. She stimmed happily, knowing that she was able to finally regress.

“Do you want to wear protection?” Lilith asked. Amity wore them mainly for comfort and security. Lilith, of course, knew this, but always asked before she ever changed her into them. They kept 2 boxes of diapers and 1 box of pull-ups. Amity would mostly wear the diapers since they were thicker and felt more comforting and safer than a pull-up.

Amity nodded her head and went to pick out which type. She picked out a plain white one and gave it to Lilith. She laid on the ground while Lilith changed her into it. It was hard for Amity to do by herself so if anyone was around while she was feeling small, she would usually have them do it for her.

Once the diaper was secure, Amity giggled happily at the feeling of the comfortable padding. It made her feel so safe and smol. She pulled up her shorts and thought of what she could do.

“I went to the market the other day and got some new things for you. They’re in the toy chest if you want to play with them,” Lilith pointed to the chest. Amity looked over and crawled to the chest. She opened it up and aside from the same toys shes already played with, there was a shape sorter and a stacking toy! She was excited for these since they were baby toys and she was feeling very close to 1 years old. 

She took out all of the ones she wanted to play with and sat on the foam puzzle pieces to begin playing. Unfortunately, all the stress and her slipping, made her forget that she needed to go.

After about fifteen minutes, she felt a small warning twinge. She thought she had some time so she kept playing. But her body seemed to follow what she was feeling mentally. Being absorbed in the new activities didn’t help either. 

While she was playing with the blocks, horror stuck and she felt warmth in her bottom half. It surprised her since she never had accidents. Usually when she was big, she could hold it for much longer. 

She stopped in her tracks in shock and embarrassment. Her scary big thoughts were starting to come in. Lilith couldn’t find out about this! Amity was absolutely mortified. She really wanted to start crying right then and there but knew Lilith would find out. Lilith would probably be grossed out by her. Amity could not stand to see her mentor be disgusted by her. 

“Sweetie? Is something wrong?” Lilith asked from the rocking chair. She had looked over from her scroll and saw Amity in a state of discomfort and shock. 

“Unh-uh! I good!” She lied. 

“Alright, but if you need anything, I’m here for you,” She told her.

Amity tried to distract herself by playing with her stuffed demons but her diaper started to get really itchy and more uncomfortable than before. She squirmed around in place and whimpered a little. But the embarrassment of Lilith finding out she had an accident, made her really try and hide it. She had a lot of sensory issues so it bothered her a lot more than it would a neurotypical person.

Her squirming and distressed face made Lilith know something was up. Amity would usually only hide things that she thought made her seem pathetic, weird, or weak. Maybe she was feeling sick? But she couldn’t have, since she hadn’t been showing any other symptoms. She went through a bunch of other possibilities, before she realized what it could be. 

“Hey, Amity?” Lilith got her attention. Amity looked over to her.

“Do you…uh… need a change?” She asked. The Little witchlet blushed and curled up her knees to her chest. 

“N-nu…” she mumbled, looking away from Lilith.

“Hey, its okay to have accidents. I had a small one when I was about your age when i got to see the emperor's coven up-close.” She admitted to the small girl. This made Amity feel a little better, knowing that it wasn’t too weird. 

“They’re called accidents for a reason, sweetie. Besides, you’re feeling a lot smaller than usual, its normal,” She kneeled next to the girl and rubbed her back. It made Amity feel like it was okay. She felt like she could trust Lilith a little bit more. Lilith comforted her for a little bit before Amity started squirming again.

“So, you need a change?” this time, Amity nodded. It was a bit uncomfortable but Lilith kept promising and assuring her that she wasn't judging her. She also made sure to keep baby-talking her to help her stay in her regressed state. 

Once the change was finished, Amity curled up in Liliths arms and snuggled up against her. This was basically her way of saying, “thank you so much for being a good mother-figure and not making me feel bad”

They cuddled on the foam puzzle-piece floor until Amity fell asleep quickly. Lilith carried her to the corner of the room, where there was a bed with bars on its side. It was basically a big crib with a little half tent curtain above the bed. There was a small mobile attached to the tent-like  curtain too. 

Lilith tucked her in and kissed her forehead. Amity’s pacifier was also slowly falling out, so she fixed it before leaving the room, glad that Amity was able to feel safe and relax.

[nevwornxiety]

Am i the only one who is getting the feels watching Jun and Haesung together in these 2 new episodes 🥰

What i like from these episodes are:

I really like how the director finally shows more dynamic between the two.

On my previous post, I mentioned about Jun on how he is not having any emotional baggage and I hope to see more of his character development. It turns out that he has some commitment issues and he feels co - dependent towards the people he's close with (Shim siblings)

Based on the latest episodes, seems like his family dynamic and his parent's relationship makes him less interested in building family life together with someone. Added with the fact that he grew up with Shim siblings together and he knew all their hardships. Who knows maybe he's had his heart broken before?

Meanwhile Haesung still believes in things like happy ending. But she always attracts the wrong guy and based on the previous diss from Jun in previous episodes ( where they met at the restaurant with the lead), Haesung is also attracted with bad boys and the boys who seem to readily give her all the attention she craves.

I like the fact that the youngest brother noticed Jun and Haesung's relationship instead of his and Woojo. Probably he has already thought if both of them kissing and that is why he said "i would not even care if you both kissing"

I wished we could have more interaction between Haesung and his parents. Perhaps in the next episode, she could at least help to repair their relationship?

Seems like when Haesung and the father cleared their throat, probably Haesung will be closer to his father instead of Mom?

Mom might be wary of Haesung especially since she supposedly treats Jun as her precious son. She said about wearing Yellow is not good maybe because she views Haesung as a bright person to Jun (different from Woojo and his family dynamic) and when she said see you again , she expects to see her more. Even though Mom finds out that Jun lied about his relationship with Haesung.

Jun's Mom represents all the viewers feeling who are confused about his feeling for Woojo or Haesung. But it goes to show that he cares for both girls with the intent of having different purpose (one cares as a friend and one cares the other as a girl). Jun explains in the episode to his Mom that he cares for Haesung despite his brashness towards her

I think that when Jun asked her for a drink after their family lunch, is when she knew that Jun needs alone time the most. Since she is an empath, she decides not to accept the call from the security guy because she knows that Jun needs someone to talk to. So she gladly hears his thought.

I feel bad at Haesung, she knows that she used the security guy as the rebound to forget her ex. She remembers Jun's word to about being more transparent with her feeling and emotion. She really tries to make the relationship work despite incompatibility. She starts being honest about her mental health and the prescribed medicine she took.  However since the guy seems immature and does not know much about mental health, he just casually acts as if its nothing. Meanwhile, this scene could be a key point of both Jun and Haesung's relationship. Because shit gets real now when Jun hugs Haesung back and feels her sadness.

His reaction on Ep 10 is different from the one had in the first episode where he accompanied Haesung to the karaoke and sing her heart out. Sure, he feels protective - but at that moment , it just feels like " Again? Crying about guys? Okay then, I will accompany you since your sister is nowhere to be found" . On the other hand, This time I think that this is where Jun is scared and pained when he saw Haesung crying. Because it just feels different, its not just a normal heartbreak. Even Haesung's cried is different. Seems like Haesung never hugs him/ rarely hugs him so if it happens the situation might be serious

So far I think that one who has a feeling first is Jun. Because Haesung seems not realizing her feeling. Sure she cares for him and thinks he is handsome, but its not to the point where she has a deep feeling for him. She cares about him because Jun is always there for her.

[goremet-chef]

one thing that always confuses me when it comes to gender identity and like. letting my family know that 'hey, i am trans' roight is

i guess i just dont get it? how you can completely value someone on the basis of their gender identity. cuz like. im not my gender identity. im dom. past whether im a guy or a girl, im me. im a person and i like things, i dislike things, etc

i just dont get the whole "ohh woe is me, my daughter is dead now" thing that parents go thru, because like.. isnt there more about me that you liked? maybe in my case, no, since i tend to be pretty closed off from my family, but like..

i have friends and i love my friends. more than anything, i love my friends. i love THEM. as people. i dont care what pronouns they go by, what they identify as. i see them as they are, which is my friends. thats why like.. for me its so fucking EASY to go with different pronouns and name and all that, my older brother came out as trans to me a couple years after i was out and despite knowing him all my life as a different name with different pronouns, i have to very intentionally make sure not to call him by he and by his name in front of my mom cuz hes not out to her yet, ITS A STRUGGLE to revert back to a name that he isnt anymore, you feel me?

it just seems so shallow to me, like.. idk MAYBE it has something to do with my funny autism brain cuz i really just dont get most sort of society role type shit but how does your love for someone stop when they decide to go by a different name? i think thats crazy cuz thats the VERYLIKE. SURFACE LEVEL SHIT and still its somehow too hard for them

ive tried to explain to my mom like. i find it very easy because im able to see the people i love past their gender and their physical appearance and WHATEVER. i see them as them, as their heart their mind their soul. if someone comes out to me and tells me oh i dont feel like a boy right, the first reaction i have is not "oh so you want me to call you a girl? and you want she pronouns?" which seems to be a very common parent response im noticing. my first thought is "okay, my friend is opening up to me about a change in their identity, so my job as a friend is to change how i see them" because its true! its so important in my opinion past like. okay fine ill call you what you wanna be called, like no!!!

i dont want you to call me a boy just cuz you think its what i want, i want you to respect me as a person enough to see that im presenting a change to you, and take it upon yourself to accept that change. i dont wanna be called dom out of obligation. i want them to love me so much that they would have no problem switching what they see me as. because im not just a girl, or a boy. im dominic, im me. im my own person past what you see on the outside. thats the cool part about friends and family is that you get to let them see whats inside and theyre supposed to love you for you

maybe thats not what i get with a lot of my family, but i definitely get it from my friends and im so grateful for that

[werewolfsonpage211]

trans and autistic

this is just my personal account of how i feel being autistic has effected my transition. these experiences are in no way exclusive to being autistic and trans. i havent seen a post like this so i thought why not make it. cw gender dysphoria.

change. i dont like change.* unfortunately its kinda what transitioning is all about. when i first realised i was trans i thought i would never tell anyone. when i realised i wanted top surgery i cried. i kept questioning for years if top surgery was right for me because the idea of purposefully changing my body like that was so foreign to me. and yet i wanted it. it felt wrong to want it. it took long to get over my own bias that plastic surgery is unnatural or selfish and to accept why i myself wanted and needed it. after all that soul searching it was comparatively easier to realise i also wanted hrt. hrt means many small changes happening gradually, which made it easier for me to get comfortable with the idea. the fact that you can microdose it and that you can stop the treatment whenever you want to absolutely helped. it also helped to "try out" some of the effects. do i want a lower voice? i could feel it out by lowering my voice and doing voice training exercises (ofc not the same result as hrt but you get it). do i want more body hair? i reflected on how i felt about the sparse but present body hair i already have, and how it felt to find new hairs (euphoria!!) also ngl the tiktok beard filters helped. *thats a simplification, but many forms of change make me feel uncomfortable.

communication. i felt i needed to be absolutely 100% sure about my identity before coming out to Anyone. i struggle with unclear communication/instructions so i tend to assume other people also prefer more details rather than less details + i fear that other people will missunderstand me if im not clear enough. and in order to be clear i felt like i needed to Know beyond a doubt my gender, pronous and name. this lead to me being in the closet longer + seeking care later than i probably would have otherwise.

emotions. i struggle with anticipating other peoples reactions to stuff. i feared how my parents might react - would they cry? would they argue with me? would they think i was weird? and theyve literally been so chill about it. i would say my bar was on the floor but there really was no bar, i had no expectations at all because i couldnt even guess.

change again! asking people to use new pronouns and a new name. i first came out with using all pronouns. i now use he/they. saying i used all pronous felt easier because it meant no correcting people. turns out it wasnt right for me, and i kinda already knew that when i came out. but i felt i had to take it in small steps. i was never the one to cannonball into the water from the diving tower. i walk in slowly, one step at a time, rather putting my body through every small shock of cold against my skin than that one big shift. to some it might seem like self torture but to me it is the more comfortable choice. i wanted to come out but i wasnt ready to ask people to stop using she/her. so "all pronouns" became a stepping stone, one i am very grateful for. some people want nothing to do with their old name. im changing mine to the masculine coded version of my old name. calling it a new name is rich seeing as im just removing a few letters. i want the change to be as undramatic as possible, for both me AND for everyone else. other people being uncomfortable makes me feel Super uncomfortable. with the small change im making its easy to cover up if the worng name slips out. to me, my old and new names dont even have to be regarded as different names, just variations of the same name. yeah, i prefer the masc version, but tbh i will answer to anything that sounds remotely like my name. i just want it to be uncomplicated. in the same vein, my prefered pronouns are he/they, but im not going to correct everyone who calls me she/her. when and on whom i use that energy will be highly circumstantial.

special interests. ive done a lot of research. ive read a lot about gender affirming care, what it can (and cant) do, where and how you can get it, what people who have gotten it have to say. ive watched a lot of trans youtubers video essays and commentary, a lot of top surgery vlogs, and several videos made by medical professionals documenting the surgical procedure of detitification itself. ive joined several internet communities on facebook, discord and reddit to take part in other trans peoples knowledge, experiences and thoughts. ive prepared and held presentations on being trans on tdov. and i tend to forget that not every trans person ...does all that. (which is not a critique, i know its a lot.) (which is not a brag, i know im weird.)

societal norms. gender roles are weird right? and the whole concept of gender? thinking about it can give me a headache. i think autistic people are slightly more likely than allistic people to question the gender binary, simply because were more likely to not conform to social/societal norms. i initially identified only as non-binary. now i identify as a non-binary trans man. i do still wonder why i identify as a man - what makes me a man, what makes anyone a man, what makes me feel like a man. and i hate to say it, but i havent come up with a satisfactory answer. i just do. it doesnt completely make sense to me, but it makes more sense than anything else. at this point ive just accepted that some things give me gender euphoria, some things give me gender dysphoria, and all in all i think "man" describes me fairly well. i also think if id been amab i wouldve still identified as non-binary, just not had as much dysphoria nor required as much gender affirming care. i could go into further detail on my exact gender identity, but i also dont feel the need to be super open about it. not everyone needs to know every part of my identity. most people only need my name and pronouns. and as i said, i like it uncomplicated.

hey share your own experiences of being trans and autistic if you like? in tags/just add on to the post! i probably will if i think of more

[teenageread]

Review: Born at Midnight

Initial Thoughts: 

I put this book on my “want to read” list back in 2014, and a decade later I think I am truly too old for this YA novel. Where the plot was good, some of the writing has Hunter stuck in the 2010s (when they wrote this novel). The plot is cool and interesting, but it's so hard to get past how sex-obsessed these teenagers are and how “kissable” their love interests' lips are. The plot, where good, is also going nowhere, as Hunter spends the majority of the time getting the cast of characters down so that nothing major happens with this novel. Kylie starts this novel not knowing who she is and ends it in just the same position except more happy about it. This is definitely the start for what could be a great series, as Hunter has the set up for one now, I just wish they did not waste this novel in the meantime.

Characters:

Kylie is a decent enough character to like, and not find anything to really hate. Her “I’m Average” way of acting based on looks, attitude, and reactions to events, kind of makes her bland in a way I do not think Hunter intended. Kylie does not grow in this novel until the very end where she accepts that she’s not normal, yet still does not make any grand conclusions about what she is. I also wish there was some emotion around the conversation that Kylie had with people. Sure she just met them, but this is fiction! Give us some screaming at the guy you just met, or deep conversations with your roommates you barely know! After all, Hunter gave Kylie three boys to fall in love with. Yes - three! The old ex-boyfriend Tray, new hottie fairy boy Derek, and old-friend but could be more bad boy Lucas. With all these characters, Kylie should make a move on at least one of them, giving this three hundred page book, instead of keeping everyone at arms length. Beyond Kylie the roommates are cool, and definitely needed more page time of them talking, as currently, the trio Hunter is trying to build only talks about sex and names which gets super old super fast. Holiday and Sky as camp leaders have bonkers names but overall are good characters who I hope play major roles in the later portions of the book. Since this is a summer camp, Hunter also introduces us to a bunch of other characters that I honestly do not have the time to list, nor the care to as this novel truly does center around Kylie and her "accepting" who she is (accepting because Hunter does not reveal who Kylie is in this novel and I am mad about this!). 

Plot and Writing:

The novel takes place from the first-person point of view of Kylie, a normal teenage girl who is missing her dead grandmother, upset that her parents are getting divorced, and mad that her dad is leaving her with her mom. Busted at a party for drinking, Kylie is sent away to Shadow Falls Camp, a summer camp for troubled youth, really disguised as a camp for mysterious people. Vampires, werewolves, faeries, and shapeshifters, all in their teens, are gathered at this camp, and the leaders (Holiday and Sky) believe Kylie is one too. Such a cool plot to go… nowhere. Kylie spends the novel denying it so much, despite knowing she can see ghosts, that you really do believe she is mentally ill. So you spend the book rolling your eyes waiting for Kylie to think so we can move the plot forward. Hunter spent too much time in this novel preparing for the series, instead of writing a really good book. If the time was spent working with Kylie to figure out who she was, its rating would have increased a lot. Instead this novel is a tangle of half-finished plots, and the start of an “open world adventure” that you do not get to explore, nor really learn much about. Like Hunter gave up the tip of the iceberg for the FRU, Holiday's relationship, Kylie’s THREE love interests (one way too many honestly), her cabinmates bickering, and who Kylie really is. This plot, especially at the start of the series, should be one of these and maybe introduce another, but not just a little bit of everything like Hunter gave us. 

Conclusion: 

This novel is stuck in the 2010s with its cheesy and cringy plot of a girl who is average and gets three hot guys to lust after her, all while trying to figure out who she is. A vampire? Werewolf? Fairy? Who knows. Sure this novel has its downsides, and many times to make you cringe, but at its core, there is a good storyline going, and one I hope Hunter improves upon in the later part of the series.

[a-wild-things-rambles]

hi the post above finaly got me to wright down alot of my thoughts to do with john and the community's hes been part of and how that affects him [through my eyes as a younger person in alot of the same community's, looking at the people who have lead similar lives- minus the occult stuff[mostly]] its long but there is a tldr

[for context my tags on the post: #especialy “John wouldn’t probably own a bisexual flag ever or have any pride memorabilia”#that really made something click im my mind for john#alot of they way i approach john is through the lens of an old punk#idk how to explain but you have these people that are subtely off from the norm but normal people cant quite put a finger on#and you could never tell from looking that they say go to all the protests and riots and sing for the tories to die#theres people who wear it proudly#and people who hide it because of others reactions#or just cause its personal and not strangers buisness#i feel john grew up with people having enough reasons to put him down. hes not handing them more#but also theres a difference between pride in part of your identity and showing other ppl and strangers it#some stuff is very personal- im p out and proud queer but there are some other apects of my identity that im very proud of#but dont want to shout from the rooftops#cause its personal#and i think thats how john feels about his bisexuality#its part of him and i dont think he hates it#but its just. a part of him#sorry for the long tags tldr your right and i hadent thought about it like that but it makes alot of sense#john constantine]

I always feel it’s important to look at the character and the history, and not ascribe newer ideas and things to older characters- i think there is a lot of value in looking at how john would approach it differently than lot of people now- especially looking through the groups has been part of, the people I know like john [northern, working class, dysfunctional family situations, bounced around alternative groups and subcultures] sexuality isn’t really a big thing? people are accepting of queer people but. it’s just not a thing that’s announced, gender roles are being broken by most people anyway and there’s just this acceptance and disregard of labels that tends to come from being in the mixed community of all types of people who have all had millions of different labels - I found out that two of the people I consider my aunts are both bisexual cause my mum was joking about how they can pick anyone but neither have had a long term relationship. it’s just so casual, you love who you love, and you are who you are and it’s not really anyone’s business- i found out an old friend of both my parents was a trans woman- unfortunately I never met her before she passed- but I wasn’t told until years after I came out as trans because it wasn’t a big thing, just one part of the identity of an old friend. I think it’s hard for a lot of queer people to see someone talk about 'oh we don’t care about the labels' and how it’s not that important, but the way it is now and was seems to be the true ideal of that idea- no one cares about the labels- if they turn you down they turn you down, if they correct the pronouns they have corrected the pronouns, "be who you wanna be do who you wanna do". You’re the captain of your fate.

I mentioned bouncing around groups and labels, and it’s something I see a lot of irl and very much informs my view of john, I am part of a community of people who have all been through different subcultures and groups- rude boys and metalheads and hippies and punks and travellers- all having stood against the mainstream but found no one label fits them. most of the people I have met at the gatherings have very complex identities- rude boy to punk to post punk- hippie to punk and so on, the mixing and combining of subcultures to make something that’s the best of all the things you love and are- I know we talk a lot with john about him being punk/expunk- but he was a hippie for a while and has been part of many subcultures- to view him as a binary- punk and then post that, seems reductive- I know these days people have ideas more solid borders on subcultures, you’re a punk or a goth, rude boy or hippie- disregarding the long history of people being part of both or multiple groups- and the groups that form from those overlaps. so yea I think it important to acknowledge that john has been part of many subcultures and that informs him- especially the identity issues due to not being wholly one thing, it’s why my community is great- no one is simple, it always a mix- folk and punk, ska and folk, dub sets played on fiddles and banjos- it’s about celebrating our defences, and coming together in our differences to appreciate and celebrate the complexities and contradictions of others, and the things that come from that. one love and all that.

we are the sum of our experiences- and we should celebrate that!

but it comes to a point where you get tired of breaking down all the influences and your just you. are you punk? are you buy? are you a rude boy/girl? are you gender queer? you get tired of the labels and boxes and are just you- after all YOU are the sum of your experiences. other people can look at you and try an analyze you but that’s their thing- your you and the labels that used to matter don’t as much- your comfortable being you, you like some of the music some people do and some music others do- you dress like this but also like that. labels and trying to be a certain thing can get tiring, it’s easier to just be you. it’s a long road to get there- and a hard one to- but as much as I revel in being part of a group of people with the same experiences as me- it can get tiring having the only parts of my identity they engage with be the part we share- god knows I’ve made lots of friends through queer solidarity but sometimes I want to be me not the labels, to be looked at in three dimensions, its why there is a community of people whose best answer to most questions is 'it’s complicated'

ok that ran away from me but that’s why I think johns identity is complex and his queerness isn’t a big thing he shows of.

tldr: often people who go from subculture to subculture trying to find something that fits them get to old and tired to make themselves into the latest thing and no longer can be asked to care about labels and end up content being them and if u wanna try and break them down into all the separate identities then that’s your thing but it’s a bit weird mate. And that’s why I agree that johns not loud about his bisexuality.

[angelpinkpasta]

sigh I was just gonna reply ‘they’re kinda complex’.. but wrote all this instead. here’s an analysis on their relationship bc its been on my mind for too long n its getting ridiculous LMAO. I had the time🤧:

Olly and Paisley knew each other since they were literal babies. Paisley struggled making friends growing up as she was very shy, and this worsened when her mother, who she loved and connected with so dearly, passed away. The only person there for a long time other than her dad and sibling was Olly - her close childhood best friend, making communicating with him not so hard for her. their memories mean a lot to the both of them esp her. For Paisley, this rlly was her closest and most important friend. Loosing him would be like loosing her only accepting friend - a major person from her past. (There is liann too ig but I’m not sure if they’re knew each other as kids?). Just to mention, Paisley is someone who stays close to the past (the annex, her mom, her childhood treehouse, it all means so much to keep that part of herself with her. Olly is a huge part of that.).

It seemed that she was in awe of what he did to help her with the annex. Might've even developed a crush - she loves her childhood best friend for how impactful he has been in her life. So when he started to act a lil off, she was confused, maybe a little blind to what he was making her do. Even when he started talking too much about his excitement for Ley-la, she still tries to be there for him. Doing what he likes most will keep him around (putting on that show whether she's comfortable or not) and she just genuinely cares for him. She couldve easily talk to him (she seemed comfortable w him before the leyla thing happened), but after the both that and annex situation she might've been in denial about his actions. He was being so thoughtful, surely he didn’t mean wrong now. She already lost her mom, she cannot lose her only close friend too. Idk what I'm trying to explain lol. just. just hear me for a sec guys. she’s afraid of losing him. ((SPOILER// even literally hiding when he’s around… maybe she’s afraid of making him mad, which eventually means losing him?? he kinda toxic uh))

Olly, as the lil shi he is /j, is still also complex. He grew up with a working class family (friends lore) so i assume his parents were not around him so much in his childhood. Him and Pais were neighbours so he would spend his time with her and her family. He found her mom a very inspiring person, kindhearted and loving seemingly unlike what his own parents had time to give him (so he empathized for what paisley was going through after losing her mom). What gave him attention were the costumes he enjoyed making, maybe boosting his family money a bit. So he sees himself as someone who could make dreams come true if he just gets to work on it. Boom.

Like Pais, his childhood friend does mean a lot to him (maybe not as much as her, but he still brings up their childhood here n there). When it comes to his possible feelings for her... it could be one thing or another.

Possibility One: ok uh. he doesn't have a crush on her. He thinks he does. He is fruity. He just has internalized homophobia and is projecting that onto paisley who he thinks he likes. Might explain a bit of his blindness towards her, thinking he is doing what a guy would do for his girl to love him, but messes it up. ("Oh I'm doing something she would love so it's working out right???"). Might explain his fear that Zac would take her away from him. help.

Possibility two: he does love her. This might act be more accurate just based on him caring bout her while also blushing and getting all shy around her that one ep. Also his reaction to her preform. Or his jealousy of Zac. Anyway. He initially really wanted to do this for her, but it was also a huge interest of his own for a long time too. he thought if both of them get what they want, esp her, they would both be happy. And together forever. He kept that in mind somewhere but fame rlly got to him, he ended up caring bout that more.

I mean. Olly gets confusing. There were times it just seemed he was blind... and some even manipulative??? When you rewatch the scene at the lunch table, where he gives her those eyes, and when she says she can't dance, he then talks about his costumes. Then knowing how kind Pais is, she immediately encourages him (probably feeling bad knowing what he's been through in his childhood, wanting him to finally have his moment.) and it distracts her from even giving that talk. He either didn't mean for this... or knew her feelings right there and just wanted to get his way, to make her go for his perspective. There was also that scene before he yelled at Zac (bro should chill😭) and claimed 'we’re in this together' despite the fact she said she 'can't do this alone’. She is in a struggling state, and he seems either unaware, or very aware and trying to get her on his side. anywayz

I dont wanna spoil much so I’ll leave it here. uh. all I’ll say is that i dont think their relationship is set in stone, i think there’s a chance they can improve it, but based on that ending there’s also that side that just seems bad for the both of them if they dont work it out. In this essay i will

im just rambling.

I wonder how many still ship Olly & Paisley after S2

It's clear that Olly cares more about his fame than Paisley's wellbeing.

[cherienymphe]

Twisted Devotion (Loki x Reader)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, DUB-CON, adopted sibling!reader, incestuous relationships, murder, violence, loss of virginity (m. and f.)

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts​ | dividers by @firefly-graphics​

➥ playlist

summary: Loki was your guardian angel from the moment you were left at the palace doors. Angels fall sometimes, don’t they?

~

You were barely a few days old when you’d been left at the palace doors with nothing to accompany you but the basket you were laid in and the blanket that covered you. Or at least, that’s what you were told. Frigga had been the one to find you, her habit of rising before the sun paying off greatly. She constantly told you stories of how her heart simultaneously broke and soared that day at the sight of the abandoned baby. 

She loved Loki and Thor greatly, but she could not help but to often think of what it would be like to have a little girl. 

Thor was only about a year or two old at the time, Loki not much older than you as he was still a baby himself. Growing up, you thought nothing of the differences between you. After all, Thor and Loki did not look like brothers at all. The differences between them lied in more than just their personalities, but as you grew, so did your curiosity, and that was when Frigga sat you down and told you the truth. 

“So... I am not your daughter?”

You tried to keep your voice from cracking, but the truth was too much to bear for your 6-year-old heart. It shattered everything you knew, and Frigga pulled you into her lap as she tutted. 

“You are my daughter in every way you can be. That doesn’t change just because I didn’t birth you, but I have raised you and taken care of you and loved you. I am your mother and the Allfather is your father.”

Her voice was soothing as always, and you were tempted to accept this, but the knowledge that you were left on the steps like some stray bothered you. Frigga sighed and she touched your cheek. 

“I suppose Thor and Loki are not your brothers then…”

“Of course, they are,” you hurried to argue, looking at her with wide eyes. 

She gave you that knowing smile, and you sighed. 

“Then I’m sure they would be saddened to hear you speak in a way as if you are not...wouldn’t they?” 

You reluctantly nodded, and her smile grew. One of your own eventually found its way onto your lips, and you accepted the truth in her words. It certainly didn’t feel like she wasn’t your mother, and Odin could be just as hard on you as he was with his birth children. Thor and Loki certainly felt like your brothers, and your reaction as she suggested otherwise only proved that.

Everyone knew how you came to be in the palace with the royal family, and you were grateful that you weren’t treated differently for it. Most of all by Thor and Loki. Your parents were pleased with the nature of your relationship with them, that you got along so well, behaving as siblings should instead of allowing discord or ill feelings to fester. Truthfully, you didn’t think it was possible to hate them nor they you.

Growing up, Thor treated you like one of his warriors that he eventually found himself strolling around with. He wanted to teach you to fight and defend yourself and cut a man down without hesitation. You were his sister, yes, and he would protect you with his life, but he didn’t want any sister of his to be completely defenseless.

“Some guys deserve a swift punch to the nose,” he’d told you one day, making you laugh.

He constantly teased you and encouraged you to be just as jovial and boisterous as he. It became clear to everyone but Thor pretty early on that you were far outside of your comfort zone. You weren’t much of a fighter, and every time you were around Thor, his presence seemed to overshadow yours. This never bothered you, and it was fairly obvious as to why.

Loki preferred to remain in the shadows with you.

No one really spoke on it, at least not publicly, but it was apparent to all that your relationship with Loki was far different than that of yours with Thor. This wasn’t to say that you were closer with him than you were with Thor, and vice versa. No one would dare to say that, but at times, it seemed like the two of you were part of a world that no one else was privy too. Not even the blond prince.

While Thor was wrestling and sparring with his friends, Loki could be found perfecting his gifts with you as an awed witness, entranced by the magic. During feasts and celebrations, you and Loki would be in your own world in some corner or at the far end of the table, conversing with each other about what only the gods knew. It wasn’t uncommon to find both of you passed out in the library, surrounded by a pile of books. Anytime you felt even mildly uncomfortable, your hand would find his, and you’d conceal yourself behind his shoulder.

If Thor was your valiant warrior of a brother, then Loki was your guardian angel.

The raven-haired prince was your dark knight, sworn to protect you from the very first moment that he could, it seemed. He was your willing shadow, a threatening cloud hanging over anyone who dared to hurt you. If many didn’t know any better, they would swear that you two shared your mother’s womb, being formed alongside each other and entering this world together. Inseparable ever since.

You were about 10 when you first started to abandon your own room in favor of Loki’s. You’d had a nightmare, and it wasn’t like you hadn’t had them before, but this one was different. You couldn’t remember much from it, but you knew that it was different. You could tell in the way your heart raced when you woke up and the way your skin pricked and the way you didn’t feel comfortable in your own room. The corridor was dark and empty as you tiptoed to Loki’s room.

You knew it like the back of your hand, even in the dark, so you breezed through his receiving chamber and into his bedroom with ease. Never having been a light sleeper, it was easy to shake him awake, and it only took the young God of Mischief one look at your face to ask you what was wrong.

“I had a bad dream, and…I can’t sleep,” you reluctantly told him like you were embarrassed of the fact.

Loki frowned, but moved over, nonetheless. You slipped in beside him and frowned as you realized that you were embarrassed. As if he read your thoughts, and he probably did, Loki spoke.

“It’s okay to be scared sometimes,” he whispered into the dark, his finger poking at your cheek.

“Thor would make fun of me if he knew,” you whispered back.

“I would never make fun of you.”

You didn’t respond, and he continued.

“Whenever you’re scared, I’ll always protect you. No matter how silly you think it is,” he vowed.

His green eyes were visible in the light from the moon as they rested on you.

“…you would do that?”

“For you, sister? Anything.”

You eventually made a habit out of sleeping in Loki’s room whenever you had a nightmare. It wasn’t often, but at some point, you found yourself in there even when you didn’t have one. No one commented on your new sleeping arrangements, and it soon became normal to find your room empty for days at a time. It started to feel foreign to you, and you slept better in Loki’s bed than you ever had anywhere else.

It had never occurred to you how strange someone might find your relationship with Loki. Your parents had never commented on it, neither did Thor, and Loki had never expressed his discomfort. It wasn’t until you were about 16 was it made clear to you how others might view your closeness with him.

“I’m sure the prince would love to dally with a lady or two, but you are always in his bed instead.”

She was a daughter of one of your father’s advisors, and seeing as she answered to your family, and you by extension, she kept her tone light and teasing. However, there was a glint in her eyes and something just below the surface of her voice that made you frown.

“It’s only out of habit. I would sleep in his room whenever I had a nightmare, and it just sort of became a thing,” you replied with a shrug.

She pursed her pink lips, exchanging a glance with the red-headed girl at her side before fixing you with a mocking smile.

“How sweet, but… You’re sixteen now. Surely you feel a bit…odd spending the night with your brother every night?”

Your frown deepened as you considered her words, wondering why you would feel strange about it. She placed her hand on your shoulder as your silence continued, her smile twisting.

“I only meant that I’m sure the prince would love to get to know some of the ladies in the palace like Thor…”

Because that was how this whole conversation had started, with Thor’s antics that had quickly become a popular topic amongst the young ladies. You were still unsure as to how you got roped into it.

“…and maybe he feels that he can’t do what he really wants because of you. I mean, you have to be your own person some time. You can’t take up residence in the prince’s bed forever. What would people think?”

You blinked at her, rearing back a bit at her words. The other girl giggled behind her hand, a poor attempt, or perhaps no attempt at all, to hide it. You took a step back, something akin to disgust swirling in your gut as your mind whirled. Her hand fell, and so did her smile. You looked between these two girls who you were beginning to think weren’t so nice at all.

“Are you…?” you licked your lips. “What are you implying?”

“I’m not implying anything. I’m only wondering what else people would say because even though everyone is just so intent on ignoring it because of who you are, they’re certainly disturbed by how you’re practically wrapped around him every time we see you two.”

You flinched at her words, eyeing her, and you suddenly wondered if she was the one who wanted to get to know Loki so bad and not the other way around.

“It’s weird, and the fact that you snuggle up to him every night like he’s your boyfriend is gross,” she spat.

You couldn’t help the way your eyes watered, and unable to even come up with something to say, you left them. It was hours later, and her words still lingered on your mind as you leaned on your balcony. It was a rare day when you found yourself in your own room, and you hated that some girl was making you question everything you believed.

You had never given much thought to your relationship with Loki. Never felt the need to. He was your brother, and you were close as siblings sometimes were, and her disgust only confused you. You wondered if she was right, if other people really did think like her, and your heart sank. You weren’t doing anything wrong, far from it, so why did her words make you feel like you were?

Your reverie was broken by a flower petal landing on your arm, followed by another until a nice handful of them were raining down on you like feathers. They stopped when a fresh flower materialized on the balcony before you, and you picked it up with a small smile. He always knew how to make you feel better, even when he didn’t realize it. You admired it, like you always did, before thanking him…like you always do.

“I was surprised to find you here,” Loki said as he strode up beside you.

He also leaned his arms on the balcony, and you simply offered him a shrug.

“Just wanted to think for a while,” you said with a strained smile, unable to meet his eye as you looked out over Asgard.

He was quiet for a moment before he straightened. You could feel his eyes on you, and when you felt his finger brush along your arm, you flinched. There was no doubt in your mind that he noticed.

“What troubles you?”

You chewed on your lip, eyeing the green rose.

“Do you… Do you like any of the girls here in the palace? Or even just Asgard in general?”

Loki chuckled, and you watched as he leaned against the wall. He tilted his head at you, dark hair moving with the action.

“Now why would you ask me a thing like that?”

You glanced away with a shrug.

“Just curious…because…if you wanted to get to know any of the ladies here, you should. You should feel comfortable doing that,” you told him, looking at him again.

Loki crossed his arms over his chest as he eyed you, brows drawn together.

“I am well aware of that fact, but thank you. What brought this on?”

His gaze was inquiring, and unable to hold it, you looked down. You didn’t answer him, and you heard him take a step towards you.

“Something else is the matter,” he guessed.

You furiously shook your head, swallowing.

“No, I-.”

“Since when do we ever lie to each other?” he quietly wondered, and your eyes snapped to his.

His frown had deepened, bewilderment in his eyes, and you didn’t need to be a genius like him to know that he was hurt. The tears spilled over before you realized it, and Loki’s eyes widened at the sight. He rested his hands on your arms as he pulled you closer, and his tone portrayed his anger more than his words did.

“Who has hurt you?”

You frantically shook your head, but Loki wasn’t having it.

“Tell me-.”

“It wasn’t like that, just some girls-.”

“What did they do?”

“They didn’t do anything-!”

“Then what did they say?”

“Loki, please,” you quietly pleaded.

He let go of you with a sigh, opting instead to wipe your tears away. He took a deep breath as he brushed his thumb over your cheek, jaw clenching as he cleaned your face.

“What did they say?” he quietly repeated, appearing calmer now.

You had a hard time saying it.

“They said…”

You couldn’t even look at him, and you squeezed your eyes shut.

“They said I’m gross. That our relationship is weird and…”

You trailed off, opening your eyes as more tears collected.

“I don’t…I don’t understand how they could say that. You’re my best friend, and I love you, and why would they try to twist that into something-.”

You cut yourself off as more tears fell, and Loki hurriedly wrapped his arms around you.

“They’re just jealous,” he whispered into your ear. “You are a princess, and they will never know me as you do.”

“I just don’t understand why they would say that,” you muttered, clinging to him as you fought back more tears.

“They don’t matter. Their opinions don’t matter. No one else’s opinions matter but ours,” he told you in a soothing voice. “You are my sister, you mean the world to me, and I will not let anyone ruin that.”

He pulled away, brushing his thumbs over your cheeks again with a small smile before his face grew serious.

“Who was it?”

“Loki, no-.”

“You will tell me…or I shall simply pluck it from that pretty little head of yours,” he lightly threatened, making you sigh.

You shook your head, looking away.

“What…what are you going to do?”

You hesitantly looked at him again, and he tilted his head at you as if you’d said something silly.

“I’m going to make them cry, of course. Just as they made you cry,” he told you.

You heaved a sigh, shoulders sagging at the finality in his words.

“Loki, you don’t have to do that.”

His pink lips curved upwards into a soft smile as he gazed at you.

“For you, sister? I’d do anything.”

You stared up at the ceiling in the early hours of the morning, wondering what made you think of that after all this time. It had happened years ago, and you didn’t know what Loki did or said that had no doubt made them cry as he promised, but those girls had never made eye contact with you since. The sound of his soft breathing beside you was the only thing that filled the room, and you sat up, noting that you’d risen before the sun.

Thor was leaving tomorrow, some business that he had to attend to on Midgard, and you could not bite down your envy. Thor was a walking sun, always the star of the show, and his kind heart and genuine personality made it hard to hate him. Your father certainly had favorites, and it was always obvious as to who it was. Unlike your brothers, you had never even left Asgard, and that knowledge left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You left Loki to make your way back to your room. The corridor was quiet, dark, and you paused outside of your door. You thought about those girls all those years ago and swallowed. Thor was brave, a warrior whom your father was obviously proud of, and while Loki was no thunderous fighter like your brother, he could slit a man’s throat with ease. Even without that, he was a skilled sorcerer with a mind as cunning as his tongue was sharp.

And what were you?

Once upon a time, you thought that Loki was your shadow, but now you realized that maybe you were his.

Your bath did nothing to soothe these thoughts, but you forced them away as you got dressed. It was your own insecurities speaking, nothing else. After all, no one had once ever hinted at you being less than or a weight to carry. They were your family, and you never questioned that, but you couldn’t help but to feel inferior in a family like this. You glanced over your shoulder as your door opened, and Loki strode inside.

“Why did you not wake me?” he wondered as he approached you, hands reaching for the ribbon at your waist.

“You looked as if you were having a good dream,” you told him.

Loki hummed as he tied your dress, fingers brushing over your back as he did so.

“I was,” he murmured, and you turned around.

You adjusted the gold on his shoulder, and Loki scoffed.

“Only Thor would require 3 feasts for a trip that will hardly take a week,” Loki complained, and you chuckled.

“Our brother grasps at any excuse to drink and fondle women, you know that by now. The people of the court and the guards appreciate that side of him far better than we do,” you said with a light laugh.

“Yes, well, as long as they understand that no wondering hands should find their way to you…,” he coldly muttered.

You lightly hit his shoulder as you breezed past him.

“Volstagg could hardly walk, he was so drunk, and he apologized many times. For which, I have long forgiven him for,” you reminded him.

Loki’s hand found its way to your shoulder as he guided you into the corridor, fingers trailing over your back as he scoffed.

“Well, I haven’t. If he so much as looks at you, I’m cutting out his tongue,” he promised.

“Loki,” you softly reprimanded, taking his hand. “He was drunk. People do all sorts of things when they are drunk.”

“Yes, things they were already considering when they were sober,” he fired back.

You waved him off, thankful to find the rest of your family already seated as you entered the hall. Thor was quick to rise, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek as you neared.

“Sister,” he said. “You look as radiant as always.”

You felt Loki’s hand tighten around yours before letting you go to pull out your chair.

“…and you look ready to have your ale and willing women now. The sun has only just risen Thor. Patience is a virtue.”

Thor sent Loki a light glare at his quip, but you only giggled. Your mother encouraged them to behave, and they did as she said as breakfast was served. Your father and Thor were deep in a discussion about his upcoming departure no doubt, while Loki and your mother discussed an upcoming festival. You didn’t have much of an appetite, so you picked at your food. Loki noticed, glancing at you with an inquiring gaze as he placed his hand on your leg.

“I’m not really that hungry,” you answered his unspoken question.

“That’s alright, dear. There will be plenty of food to eat later,” your mother assured you, and you chuckled at the truth in her words.

“Yes, well, we’re still rather undecided on whether we’ll be showing up for the festivities,” Loki said, making you roll your eyes.

“Of course, you will. Your brother is leaving Asgard, and he wants to fellowship with his people before he goes,” your father’s powerful voice suddenly cut in.

“With all due respect, Thor leaves Asgard every month or so. I promise that we won’t miss the next one,” Loki’s voice was polite as ever, but there was a mocking tone just below the surface.

This did not go unnoticed, but it was ignored.

“I’m sure your sister will enjoy the festivities without you then…”

You both paused at that, and Loki’s fingers tightened on your thigh.

“…unless you speak for her,” Odin continued, his eyebrows raised and eye inquiring as he looked between you two.

You could practically feel Loki’s annoyance, and you took his hand, squeezing it in a soothing manner below the table.

“I would be happy to attend,” you replied, learning a long time ago that appeasing him was sometimes easier.

“Good,” he replied, returning to his food. “The two of you do not need to be joined at the hip so much.”

His words made your chest clench, eyes falling to the table, but you said nothing. Breakfast continued on in a fairly quiet affair after that, and the minute you were finished, Loki was helping you up. You made your leave, and Loki was quick to speak his mind as soon as you were out of earshot.

“You do not have to go if you don’t wish to. Father will hardly notice your absence anyway. He never has before…”

You were sure Loki didn’t mean it, but his words hurt, only making your insecurities worse.

“He hardly notices my absence either,” he added after a while. “It’s strange…”

You looked at him as his face pinched, eyes thoughtful.

“He has never been so adamant on your presence before. What makes this night so special?”

He didn’t speak anymore on it as you walked to his chambers, but you found yourself suddenly wondering the same thing. What makes tonight so special?

Thor was drunk. Your blond mountain of a brother was drunk and loud and a bit inappropriate. You’d been at the feast for the better part of an hour, and you’d yet to understand why your presence was oh so required. Your mother was seated by your father and you not far from them, wondering when would be an opportune time to leave. Just when you told yourself another five minutes, you caught the eye of your father as he waved you over.

As you approached, you noticed that a tall and dark-haired man stood near him. He was not as big as Thor, but not as lean as Loki either. His brown eyes were intense, and he bowed to you as you stepped closer. You returned it with a slight curtsey of your own and looked to your father with confusion.

“This is Prince Asmund,” your father introduced him. “He will be staying with us for a few days as he and I have much to discuss in regard to his father’s kingdom that is soon to be his.”

You introduced yourself to the handsome prince, mind whirling as Odin continued.

“I have hopes that you shall show him the wonders of Asgard and make him feel most welcome,” he said.

You slowly nodded as your eyes met your father’s, and you threw the prince a light smile.

“I see. I look forward to it,” you told him. “If you’ll excuse me.”

You were quick to get away from them, weaving through the drunk and swaying bodies and hurriedly making your way into the corridor. You scoffed to yourself, shaking your head as if trying to shake away your suspicions. The way your father was so adamant on your presence tonight, your introduction to some strange prince, and what your father had asked of you. You didn’t have the time to think on it any further because your name was being called.

You turned to face Fandral as he exited the hall, the sound of chatter and laughter behind him. His face was flushed from alcohol, and there was a drunken smile on his lips.

“Allow me to walk you back to your chambers, my lady. Your brothers would have my head should anything happen to you,” he offered.

You chuckled at him.

“There’s no need. Just about everyone is enjoying the festivities in there. I shall be fine,” you told him.

He stopped before you, offering his arm out.

“Humor me.”

With a sigh, you accepted his offer, laying your hand on his arm.

“Very well. You know that you don’t have to call me that. You and Thor are practically like brothers,” you added.

“I suppose that would make you like my sister then,” he said with a frown, nose turned up in disgust.

“I’m not opposed to it,” you said with a laugh.

Fandral didn’t reply right away, and for a while, the two of you walked in a comfortable silence. Your brows furrowed when he slowed, forcing you to as well, and you curiously looked at him.

“I am.”

It took you a moment to realize what he meant, and when you did, your frown deepened. For the first time that you’ve noticed, Fandral looked nervous. He took your hand into his, and your stomach sank. His blue eyes met yours, and your lips parted when he stepped towards you, forcing your back into the wall.

“Thor tried so hard to make you one of us…and I wished so badly that he would succeed, but…”

He swallowed.

“You always were more like Loki than I wanted to accept.”

“Fandral, I don’t-.”

“Odin wishes to see you married within the year, you know…”

His words made your eyes widen, and you looked at him as if he were insane.

“What…?”

“He does not see how talented you are. How smart nor useful… He thinks,” he trailed off, shaking his head.

Your mind couldn’t sit still, too focused on what he’d said about your father and what he was going to say. What did Odin think? Fandral had to be lying…right?

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks,” he continued, eyes boring into your own. “I wish for you to choose me. I am no future king, but your family knows me well, and I would take care of you more fiercely than anyone else ever could.”

You slipped from his grasp, eyes wide as you backed away.

“I…I should go,” was your only quiet response.

Fandral’s hand found your wrist, halting your movements and forcing you to face him again. His eyes weren’t so soft now, and there was a frown between his brows. He looked…almost hurt.

“To Loki?”

You blinked at him, lips parting as you wondered why it mattered, and that was exactly what you asked him. He softly scoffed, shoulders falling as he dropped your hand.

“It is the middle of the night…”

You eyed him as he eyed you, and confusion filled you as his lip curled.

“So the rumors are true, after all.”

“What rumors- what are you talking about?”

“You sleep in his bed almost every night, and you expect me to believe there is nothing going on?”

“He is my brother!”

“Not by blood…and stranger things have happened,” he argued. “I see the way he looks at you.”

His words angered you, and you sneered at him.

“He is my brother, and my true parentage does not change that. I suppose a congratulations is in order…”

The blond tilted his head at you, and you smiled at him.

“You are just like Thor, as you have always wanted. He too handles rejection like a child,” you spat.

“I would humble myself if I were you, my princess. You just may end up marrying me yet.”

You glared at him.

“No man will want to marry a princess who will no doubt pop out her brother’s bastard-.”

The sound of the slap echoed throughout the otherwise quiet corridor, and your lips trembled. Fandral had never been anything but nice to you, and you looked at him as if you did not know him. He was still touching his cheek when you turned away, determined to forget this night ever happened, when your back was abruptly pressed into the wall, and the blond was standing over you.

Whatever words were on your lips were immediately swallowed by his own.

Your eyes were wide, and your breath was stolen from you as you realized what was happening. Fandral’s hands were on you, holding you to him as he moved his mouth over yours. You hit against him, but he only moved to press you further into the wall, and that was when your teeth sank into his lips. He ripped his face away from you with a snarl, and you swallowed in fear, tasting the alcohol on your tongue.

You barely had time to catch your breath before he was diving back in, sinking his own teeth into your lip as he tore at your dress. You could taste your blood on your tongue, and that was when the fear truly began to settle in. You desperately brought your knee up, twice, and you were filled with relief when he dropped, howling in pain. You could feel his hand reaching for the end of your dress as you turned away, racing down the corridor like your life depended on it. You only relaxed when you made it to your chambers, but that too was squashed.

Your wide eyes met Loki’s as he sat in your receiving chamber, a book in his hand as he looked to be waiting for you. A greeting had been on his lips, but one look at you had him swallowing his words. He dropped the book, nearly knocking your table over as he rushed towards you. His eyes had darkened considerably as he reached for you, and you pressed your back into the door.

“Who did this?”

You shook your head, but he wouldn’t hear it. He attempted to take you into his arms, but you shoved him away.

“Don’t touch me!”

Loki seemed taken aback by your outburst, and having realized what you just did, the tears spilled over.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

Loki shook his head, slowly reaching for you again. You allowed him to take your hand, and you leaned into him as he pulled you closer.

“Don’t apologize. I shall run you a bath,” he said, wiping the blood from your lip. “We’ll get you cleaned up, and then you will tell me what happened. Is that understood?”

His voice had lowered, green eyes hard as he stared into your shaky ones. You gave him a reluctant nod, and he led you into your chambers. Loki did as promised, and he was waiting for you on your bed when you exited the bath. He extended his hand, and you took it, allowing him to pull you down beside him. He eyed your lip, assessing the damage, and you sniffed.

“The dress is ruined,” you said.

He’d gotten it for you a year ago. Loki simply scoffed, brushing his thumb over the back of your hand as his other brushed along your jaw now. His eyes were filled with concern as he gazed at you.

“I do not care about some silly dress. I care about you. Now, tell me…”

You bit your lip, glancing down with a sigh.

“It was Fandral,” you confessed.

Loki sharply inhaled, and when you looked at him, his eyes had grown cold…venomous.

“I didn’t… I hadn’t even realized that he felt that way, and he seemed convinced that…”

You were reminded of a similar conversation years ago, and you frowned. You couldn’t bring yourself to say it again, and instead you thought on other things that he’d said. Like your father’s intentions to have you married within the year. It couldn’t be true…could it? He wouldn’t do that…he couldn’t…

“Thor leaves in the morning,” Loki finally said.

You looked at him, your eyes searching his as his words hung in the air.

“What are you going to do?” you quietly asked.

His eyes softened, and he rested his hand on your cheek. You leaned into it.

“What do you want me to do?”

You blanched as you realized he was allowing you to decide, and you swallowed.

“You are angry. I can see it in your eyes,” he said as he leaned in. “I would do anything for you. You know this by now.”

You glanced down, and Loki pressed his forehead to yours.

“Give me the word, and I’ll do it. Whatever it is…”

You brought your hand up, fingers grazing his wrist as your eyes reluctantly met his.

“I… I don’t want him to do this to anyone else. Ever again.”

Your voice was barely a whisper, but Loki heard you all the same. He took a deep breath, nodding.

“Very well.”

Nothing more was said about it, and as you laid in bed that night, Loki’s chin resting on top of your head as he held you to him, you wondered what tomorrow would bring.

Tomorrow, as it turns out, brought death. Your mother was saddened as she recounted the story to you over breakfast.

“A drunken accident, it seems. How tragic,” she murmured. “Doubly so considering he was a skilled warrior, but… I have seen wine and ale and booze bring down the best of men in my lifetime.”

Your father was absent, dealing with everything surrounding Fandral’s unexpected demise. Loki was with him, no doubt. Thor was long gone when his body was discovered, and you remembered how you felt when your mother first told you. Nothing. You had felt nothing.

“I suppose that everything works out for the best though, doesn’t it?”

You frowned at her as she ate, wondering what she meant. She paused, eyes meeting yours from beneath her lashes, a knowing look in them.

“A maid said that she saw him getting quite violent with you last night…”

You blinked at her, heart dropping to your stomach.

“Mother-.”

“Loki has always protected you. I’m glad that has not changed.”

Her words threw you, and you stared at her, stricken. She merely hummed and encouraged you to finish your food. You did. You chose not to dwell on her words and what they implied, relieved to put this behind you for now. It worked for a time…until Thor returned home.

It hurt you to see your brother so saddened and distraught, especially considering that he was not normally so. For a while, he was convinced that Fandral’s death was not that simple, but he too had to admit that his friend loved to drink. Alcohol could reduce anyone to a fumbling drunk is what you’d told him. Not in those words of course, but Thor accepted the truth in this all the same.

The day that your life as you knew it changed forever was the night that your father requested an audience with you. He was the only one in the throne room, seated on the imposing chair as you approached. You were nervous, hesitant even, and he beckoned you forth.

“Come, my child. We have much to discuss…”

“Is everything alright?” you wondered.

Odin didn’t respond right away, and he sighed.

“That has yet to be determined.”

“I don’t understand…”

You stood before him on the steps, and his eyes softened the longer he stared at you.

“I may not have conceived you, but you are my daughter in every way.”

You smiled at him.

“I have loved you and brought you up in the same manner as my sons…and like them, I only want what is best for you.”

You were unsure as to where he was going with this, but something swirled in your gut as you thought back to the night with Fandral.

“You will be married within the year,” he said, making your blood freeze.

You stared at him with wide eyes, in shock at both how Fandral had been telling the truth and that your father could do this. The silence stretched between you two, and you slowly blinked at him. You opened and closed your mouth, unsure of what to say, and you feared that words would fail you forever. There was a million things you wanted to ask, but you settled on the most important one.

“…why?”

“Thor is a skilled warrior, and I mean for him to be king someday,” he confessed, confirming what you and Loki had long suspected.

He never even considered putting Loki on the throne. Your heart broke for your brother.

“…and Loki is just as skilled, but far more cunning. He is a great sorcerer, and he will flourish at his brother’s side.”

He tilted his head at you.

“Do you plan to lead with them? I doubt it. You have never been one for war or politics-.”

“So if I had been more like Thor or cunning like Loki…you might have seen some value in me beyond that of a cattle being sold for-.”

“You will mind your tongue-.”

“How can you do this to me?”

“Silence!”

His voice boomed throughout the empty room, and you fought back the tears. You could hardly stand to look at him.

“You will do what is best for this family and help us to build alliances. I have had many princes and even kings asking for your hand in marriage. Men with resources and soldiers…”

You scoffed in disgust, looking away from him.

“I am far from cruel. You have free reign over who is to be your husband. I’m more than happy to leave that in your hands,” he added as if that would make you feel better.

Your eyes met his again, and you glared at him with a sneer.

“How kind of you, father. I am filled with so much joy at that that I can hardly contain it.”

You swept away before he said anything else, and he let you. You felt like you would pass out at any moment. Fandral had been telling the truth, after all, and the knowledge that you were being traded off like cattle wasn’t what hurt the most. It was the reason why. It was because you weren’t as valiant and ferocious as Thor. It was because you weren’t as smart and skilled and scheming as Loki. It was because your father saw you as useless unless he could get something out of you, and that thought broke the dam that had been holding your tears back.

You don’t know why you knocked on Loki’s door. You never did before. Maybe you weren’t in your right mind. After all, you could hardly hear yourself think over the sound of your sobs. You don’t even remember him opening the door nor asking you what was wrong. You were suddenly in his arms, and he was trying to calm you down. All you could see was green, and you noted that it was his eyes, a hand on your face as he kept you steady.

“Talk to me,” he begged.

“I…I… I am meant…”

You could hardly speak between your sobs, and you took a deep breath.

“I am to be married within the year.”

You watched as Loki froze, face paling as he registered your words. Anything else that you wanted to say was long forgotten as you broke down again. He held you to him, shushing you, but it was no use. Your body felt numb and heavy all at once, mind whirling and vision tilting.

“Y/N.”

You could hear Loki calling your name, a rarity. If it wasn’t ‘sister’ then it was ‘pet’. He called your name again, but it was barely heard over the sound of your sobs. You could feel his fingers on you, his hand moving as he cupped your face with both of them. You briefly squeezed your eyes shut, vision blurry as your head lifted…and then his lips were on yours.

You hardly registered the feel of his mouth moving against yours at first, but then all too sudden, it seemed that it was the only thing you could focus on. It was like tunnel vision. Everything else outside of you was blurred, blinded to all except the dark-haired prince. His lips on yours, his hands on you, the sound of tearing fabric. The world could have been ending outside, and you would not have known.

You only seemed to get some clarity when he was on top of you, your back pressed into his floor, his bare chest brushing against yours. He looked flushed, a first for him, and you blinked at him as he briefly pulled away. His lips found your jaw, dancing towards your neck, and you gasped as you stared up at the ceiling horror.

“Wait. Loki, stop-!”

You cut yourself off with a choked moan, his lips quickly finding their way in between your thighs. Your nails scraped against his floor as he tasted you, and you gasped, unable to quite catch your breath. You slapped the floor, trying to swallow down your moans, but it was no use. You pressed your other hand into his head, trying to push him off, but he merely wrapped his arms around your thighs, holding you to him as he swiped his tongue over you and inside of you.

You could feel your stomach tightening, feel something building within you, and you were far from naïve. You knew what was happening and knew that this was beyond wrong. You fought against it, trying desperately to get away from the heat that seemed to possess your entire being, but Loki’s hold was locked. He didn’t want to rest until he gave you what he was seeking and find it he did.

You came on his tongue with a high-pitched sigh, chest arching and fingers twisting into his dark locks. He lapped at you, determined to swallow every drop, and your eyes rolled as your frame shook.  Your legs fell to the ground when he pulled away, and you had no time to form words before he was pushing into you with a satisfied groan. Your eyes widened at the foreign intrusion, and you clung to him. Your breath was shaky as your eyes met his own, and they did not reflect the fear and uncertainty and horror that you were sure was in yours.

What were you doing?

Loki moved, and your lashes fluttered, and you whimpered beneath him. You pressed your fingers into his arms as he pushed his hips against yours, wincing a bit, and his brows furrowed. He leaned down, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth, lips trailing towards your ear.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I’ve got you.”

Your heart clenched for multiple reasons, and more tears spilled over for those same multiple reasons. Your father, your looming marriage, Fandral and Thor’s grief. What Loki had done to him…and what he was doing now. It was too much, and you let out a choked sob, wrapping your arms around him as he thrust into you.

“I’ve always got you,” he murmured.

You closed your eyes, biting into his shoulder as he snapped his hips into yours. Every move of his cock had you gasping and shaking, keening beneath him. Too much tragedy had consumed you. Too much death. Fandral’s, the death of your future, that of your view of your father…your relationship with Loki. This wasn’t okay. It was far from okay, but it didn’t feel that way.

Loki’s soft hands never stayed in one place for too long. Every stroke fueled a fire inside of you, and every kiss soothed it. Your hands tangled in his hair, holding him to you as you squeezed your eyes shut, basking in the feel of him inside of you. Loki looked after you like you were made of glass, and when your eyes met his again, he looked like a man in the midst of heaven. You recalled Fandral’s words.

“I see the way he looks at you.”

This was clearly what he meant. Loki looked as if there was nowhere else he’d rather be. Even when you found yourselves on his bed, back pressed into his silken sheets, he didn’t appear to be stopping anytime soon. His eyes told you that he didn’t want this to end, and deep down, some part of you that you desperately wanted to squash, felt the same way.

You could feel it again, that distracting heat deep in your gut, and Loki’s breath shook. Could he feel it too? You blinked back tears, but they spilled over anyway as another climax approached. Loki shushed you as you began to sob, his voice soothing and hypnotic. His hands were on your face, and yours were on his, fingers pressing into his cheeks.

“Loki,” you sobbed.

“It’s okay…”

You shook your head, and he shushed you again.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s going to be okay.”

You gasped, core fluttering, and your breathing picked up.

“Let go.”

You did, and he let go with you, spilling into you as you clenched around him. He swallowed your cries with a kiss, inhaling you as he spiraled with you. Sweat clung to your frames as your breath mingled, and as you laid there, reality came crashing down. You started to cry again, sick to your stomach at what had just taken place, and Loki merely rolled onto his back, pulling you with him. He laid your head on his chest, fingers stroking your back as you cried yourself to sleep.

You stared down at your food, looking at it but not really seeing it. You quietly pushed it around as your parents and Thor conversed amongst one another. Loki, who was next to you as always, was quiet too. If anyone noticed your uncharacteristic behavior over the past few weeks, and you were sure they did, no one said a thing. You could feel Loki’s eyes on you every now and then, as they always were, but you could not bring yourself to look at him.

Not after what you had done.

You were disgusted with him…and yourself. What you had done was wrong on so many levels, and the only thing that would’ve made it worse were if you two shared any blood at all. You supposed that was a silver lining, right? Hardly. Odin and Frigga were your parents. Thor was your brother. Loki…was your brother. Lack of blood did not change that.

That was exactly what you had told Loki the morning after. You were a sobbing and distraught mess, emptying the contents of your stomach, and Loki had tried in vain to soothe you, but you had pushed him away. You had let him know in no uncertain terms that what had happened wasn’t okay nor would it ever happen again. He looked as if you had broken his heart…and you supposed that you had broken yours too.

“Wouldn’t that be lovely?”

You were brought back to the present by the sound of your mother’s voice, and your eyes curiously met hers. She sadly eyed your untouched food before her eyes met yours again with a soft smile.

“The festival later today. I’m sure many are expecting an appearance from at least one of us.”

“Oh,” you simply replied. “I actually don’t feel well, but you all should go and have fun.”

You were pushing away from the table before anything else was said, and you were barely out of the hall before Loki was following you. You did nothing as he gently grabbed your wrist, pulling you down the corridor and into another less frequented one. He stared at you in the low light, and you simply stared past him.

“Say something,” he begged.

“What is there to say?”

His hands were on your face, forcing you to look at him, and your heart ached at the sorrow in his eyes.

“I do not regret what happened.”

“Well, I do!” you said, pushing him away. “It should have never happened.”

“Why? Who says?”

You shook your head, and he continued.

“Did I not make you feel good? Did you not enjoy yourself?” he wondered, fingers brushing along your cheek.

“That doesn’t matter-.”

You cut yourself off as he backed you against the wall, green eyes demanding.

“Answer the question,” he whispered.

“Loki…”

He kissed you, and you pressed your hands to his chest, but it was a poor attempt to stop him, and you both knew it. His hand grasped at the skirt of your dress, the other on your waist, and you finally pushed him away just as Thor’s voice reached your ears.

“Brother?”

You both looked up, and Thor blinked as he stood at the end of the corridor. You swallowed as you silently questioned how much he saw, your nerves only growing as he approached. His eyes were unreadable as he looked between you too, and he cleared his throat.

“Mother wishes to speak with us,” he told Loki to which the dark-haired prince nodded.

Thor’s eyes met yours, something in them that made your heart drop. You wondered if Loki noticed the subtle shift in his gaze and the way his lips pressed together, but you did. Your blood cooled, and you fought to hold his gaze.

He saw…and he knew.

“Father wishes to speak with you.”

Your shoulders sagged, and Thor placed his hand on your head.

“Do not fret. I am sure it is nothing…”

Thor did not know of your impending marriage, so you doubted his words, but you moved past him, nonetheless. You thought that they would follow, but when you looked back, Thor’s hand was on Loki’s shoulder, and they had yet to move. Thor threw you a soft smile.

“Go on. I wish to speak with our brother about something…”

His words unnerved you, but you nodded anyway and left them. Your suspicions turned out to be correct, and Odin indeed summoned you about the marriage. He talked, and you merely listened. What else could you do? His word was law, and his mind was made up. You would start the process of picking your husband, and you supposed that on some small scale, you were grateful for that, that he’d given you control over that at least.

As you left him, you supposed that it was also good that you had until the end of the year. You were grasping at any positivity you could find, and that broke your heart because this was far from a positive situation. When you made it back to your chambers, you were somehow both surprised and unsurprised to find them occupied by Loki. He simply stared at you and you him.

“Are you really going to do it?”

“I have no choice,” you immediately replied.

“Tell him no!”

Loki’s eyes were wide and desperate as he neared you. You looked down as he gripped your arms.

“You’ve met our father, Loki. When have any of us, aside from Thor, ever told him no?”

He was quiet, and you moved away from him.

“We are not like our brother,” you murmured.

“Perhaps we should be,” he lowly spat.

“Why?” you spun around to face him with a frown, eyes accusatory.

His gaze dropped to your lips before traveling over the rest of you and eventually finding it’s way back to your eyes.

“You know why.”

You frantically shook your head.

“We know each other better than anyone. We love each other more than we love anyone…”

“Loki…”

Your voice was quiet, a bit unsure, and you looked away.

“Are you going to deny that?”

“It shouldn’t have happened,” you whispered.

“…but it did,” he said as he neared you. “I don’t regret it, at all, and I know you feel the same.”

You shook your head again, unable to speak nor look him in the eye.

“Call me a liar,” he goaded you.

“Stop it,” you quietly begged.

His hands were on your waist, your back brushing the wall, and his forehead was pressed to yours as he hummed.

“You are the only one to touch me…just as I am the only one to know you so intimately. Doesn’t that seem right?”

“Stop-.”

“We have always belonged to each other. Everyone else could see it even if we couldn’t-.”

“I said stop!”

You shoved him away from you, chest heaving, and his soft green eyes hardened, ice bleeding into them.

“I am following our father’s orders. I will be married within the year, and this…this will simply be a mistake that we shall never speak of again,” you tearfully told him.

You watched as Loki’s jaw clenched, nostrils flaring as you threw your words at him. He was angry, yes, but he was sad too. You could see it in the way his lips trembled, throat bobbing as he swallowed.

“Why are you doing this?” he softly asked.

“…because it’s what’s right,” you softly answered.

Loki sniffed, glancing away as a tear escaped, skipping down his cheek and onto the floor.

“No, my love for you is right, and I will happily show that to the world…”

His eyes met yours, a threatening determination swirling in them.

“…starting with you.”

You fought against him as he reached for you, pulling you closer until his mouth hungrily covered yours. Loki moved his lips against yours like he was starved, and considering that the abomination that was your coupling was weeks ago, you supposed that he was. He wrapped his arms around you, clinging to you like you’d disappear any moment.

Your protesting words were swallowed, and your protesting hands were ignored. This was not like the first time. Loki didn’t take his time, and he didn’t hold you like you were made of glass. He held you like you were going to slip from his grasp, like someone was trying to take you away. His fingers did not trail over your skin, they pressed into it. His lips did not soothe the growing fire, they increased it. He did not fuck you like he was trying to heal you, but instead hurt you.

“You are mine,” he breathed into your mouth as he thrust into your unwelcoming walls.

Your nails and sobs and pleas did nothing to deter him, and you couldn’t recall when you had stopped fighting. What was the point? Just like before, he had you whimpering and moaning beneath him no matter how much you fought it. Loki’s control over your body was terrifying but freeing in a way. Perhaps, he was right.

How many times had someone thrown your relationship with him in your face as a means to hurt you? For years, so many people had seen what you hadn’t…or simply refused to. Loki had always been your guardian angel, your protector. Did he assume the role himself or was fate pulling the strings? Somewhere along the way, you became his and he became yours, or was that set in stone from the moment you were brought into the palace?

As he pushed into you again and again, drawing out hushed whimpers and choked moans, you started crying again. Just like last time, but this time was for an entirely different reason. You had thought that this was the death of your relationship with him, that the two of you had done something that would destroy it altogether, and you had wept the loss. Now, you felt the opposite. That maybe this wasn’t the end of something, at all, but instead the beginning of something twisted and dark and dangerous. Or maybe it was already that way.

Loki had killed for you…and you had asked him to.

Your tears were those of acceptance, of resigning yourself to something that you no longer saw any use in fighting. But your acceptance did nothing to ease your guilt. It was wrong. There was no denying that nor changing it. The way he pushed his unrelenting cock into you was wrong. The way he licked your tears and kissed your lips was wrong. The way he pressed his fingers into your hips, pinning you down for him was wrong.

The way you loved each other was wrong.

As his hips stuttered, and your walls clenched, milking him, and draining him dry as he came inside of you with a deep moan, you told him that. Tears blurred your vision as you brushed your fingers over his jaw, sobs wracking your frame as he softened inside of you.

“This isn’t right,” you quietly told him, hoping that maybe it would convince him to abandon this tragedy waiting to happen.

He held your hand to his face, gaze somehow sympathetic and triumphant at the same time.

“Well, sister. I am the God of Mischief…”

He turned his face to press his lips to the palm of your hand.

“…and I have never cared about what’s right.”

~

tags: @mcudarklibrary   @xoxabs88xox @harryspet @readermia @opheliadawnwalker3 @nickyl316h @captainchrisstan @sebabestianstan101 @villanellevi @lokislastlove @notyourtypicalrose @coconutqueen21 @hurricanerin @trinittyy @hyoyeoniie  @mandiiblanche @gotnofucks @oneoftheprettynerds @doozywoozy @melli0112 @buckybarnesplumwhore @darksideofthecocoamoon​

[unoriginalmess]

Untitled Feralnette Fic Ch. 1

Hiya there anyone who happens upon this first chapter of this fic. I would like to start out by saying that this is my first fanfic ever. I've been wanting to write a fic for the miraculous fandom for a while but I haven't had any inspiration until I stumbled upon this glorious AU created by @bigfatbreak. I highly suggest checking out all of their posts about this au because they are hilarious and genius and about 100 other amazing adjectives that could be used to describe them and their posts. Anyways enough with my rant and let's get on with the fic. ⚠️Slight angst⚠️ ⚠️Swearing⚠️

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When Marinette got home after her and Luka's breakup, all she could do was cry. She wanted to be with him, but her Ladybug duties came first. If lying is a deal breaker for him, then maybe it was best that they ended it now while their relationship was still in its early stages. Still, she couldn't help but feel the loss of her first relationship. She ended up crying for a whole entire day. She just hoped that Hawkmoth(or Shadowmoth or whatever the fuck he wanted to be referred to as this week) wasn't feeling particularly akuma-y today, because she didn't know if she could bottle up all these feelings, even though the world is relying on her ability to do so.

Ugggghhh!! It has been exhausting having to be "happy and perfect Marinette" and "happy and perfect Ladybug" All. The. Time. She's also pretty sure that Hawkmoth had discovered the similarities in her personality as Marinette to Ladybug, and that's why she's been targeted by multiple akumas lately. She has had to have her emotions under control even more than usual. If only there was a way to get Hawkmoth to stop targeting her. Maybe she should just not give a fuck anymore. Haha as if! It couldn't be that easy! Could it?

The more she thinks about it the more it starts to make sense. If she just let herself go completely crazy as Marinette, she would be killing like 10 birds with one stone. She would get hawkmoth off of her trail, she wouldn't have to deal with having to hide her emotions all of the time, she wouldn't have to deal with the added stress of maintaining her perfect persona, she wouldn't have to deal with the stress of Lila's lies taking her friends away if she didn't have friends in the first place, and so much more stress would be taken off of her plate! It was perfect! It might hurt a little at first, but it's for the best in the end. She spent that night planning out her outfit for tomorrow, doing her homework, and going to sleep knowing that, in the morning, François Dupont isn't gonna know what hit them.

....

Adrien Agreste had been having a rough week. He had been abandoned on patrol by ladybug, been broken up with by his girlfriend, and was feeling completely and utterly alone. He knows that his lady has been feeling overwhelmed by her guardian duties lately, and that he 100% deserved that verbal lasting that kagami had given him but he couldn't help but feel this way. He was also feeling guilty about lying to kagami and leading her on for so long. After she broke up with him he took some time to assess his feelings for her and realized that he had more of an admiration for her than an infatuation. He definitely didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him. She told him that she LOVED HIM, and he was so distracted (blinded) by ladybug that he didn't even process her confession. So, he was looking forward to Sunday morning. He cleared his schedule and on that beautiful Sunday morning, he did what he is only allowed to do on very rare occasions: sleep in. Or at least... thats what he had planned on doing.

When Nathalie had knocked on his door that morning Adrien was not in a good mood. He vaguely heard her say something about father wanting him downstairs in some amount of time for something involving a business partners child and some other robotic sounding words that his half asleep brain couldn't process completely.

"I have a cleared schedule this morning, Nathalie. What could father possibly want me for that is more important than my precious sleep?" He asked snappily.

"Your father wants you downstairs to welcome the new guest that will be living in the house for the rest of the school year. You have 15 minutes to make yourself look presentable and I suggest leaving the attitude upstairs," she half informed/half reprimanded him. As she walked away, Adrien reluctantly rose from his nice warm bed and went to go get ready with only one thought racing through his mind: Who could possibly be staying with them?

....

Felix Culpa was not looking forward to living at the Agreste mansion for the rest of the school year, but for their parents' sake they would do what they had to. It wasn't all for their parents either, they were also concerned about the strange "dissapearance" of Emilie (who was his aunt in all ways except blood relation) and about the treatment of Adrien since said "disappearance".

You see, Felix Culpa is the heir to the Culpa Fabric Empire. The Culpas have been the sole fabric supplier of the Agreste brand since the very beginning. Felix's mom Diana was best friends with Emilie since their college days. Diana and Emilie made the deal with the two brands because as best friends who are both involved in the same industry, it just made sense to have a business relationship with each other. Diana never really cared for Gabriel as a person, but she could tell that he loved Emilie more than anyone else in the world so she could tolerate him for the sake of her best friend.

When Emilie went missing, Diana was absolutely devastated and tried anything she could to find her. She invested in missing person ads as large as billboards, organized search teams, tried to aid the police in their search for her in any way she could, but there was no leads, no legitimate calls to the number on the billboards, and the search team came up empty handed. While she was doing all of this to try to find her, she couldn't help but be furious over the fact that Gabriel was doing nothing to help in the search. All he did was hole himself up in his oversized mansion and call it a day.

The last straw for Diana was when Gabriel tried to use the "grieving my wife" excuse to try to abuse their business arrangement. That day, she told him that the Culpa brand would no longer be associated with the Agreste brand and that after the new collection is released, he would need to find a new fabric supplier. She knew that the Agreste brand would take a huge hit from having sub-par fabric, but she never thought that Gabriel would try to make up for that fact by using Adrien as a walking mannequin and locking him up in the desolate prison that he calls a home. As soon as she realized that he was doing this she scrambled to find a solution.

That is how Felix ended up here, standing in front of the mansion they would be living in for the next 9 months in exchange for Gabriel getting back into the Culpa brand's good graces. Don't get them wrong, they were excited about being able to be in Paris, home of the most innovative fashion pieces in the world, and about being able to see their honorary cousin Adrien (who wasn't half bad to be around despite him having no backbone whatsoever when it came to anything involving his father) but dealing with Mr. Agreste was definitely one of the low points of this arrangement.

They decided to just get it over with and knocked on the door. It was opened by the man that their cousin affectionately referred to as Gorilla. They nodded a thank you to the man, remembering that he was a man of few words, and proceeded to the bottom of the staircase. Mr. Agreste stood at the top with a very tired looking Adrien a few steps down. Felix wasn't even slightly surprised that this is where he chooses to welcome his guests, looking down on people must give him some sort of power trip or something. It's almost as if he heard the phrase "It's over, Anakin, I have the high ground," and made that his own personal motto. Whatever, let him have the feeling of false power if he wanted it, Felix knows that they have all the power in this situation and they're sure that Gabriel knows it as well.

"Hello Felix," Mr. Agreste greeted them with the same amount of warmth in his voice as liquid nitrogen, "while you are staying in this house you will abide by my rules. Adrien will inform you of them and show you to your room. You will attend school with him in the morning and I'm sure that you already know that you must represent not only the Culpa brand, but also the Agreste as well. I will be in my office working, do not disturb me. Contact Nathalie with any questions that cannot be answered by Adrien." He finished his spiel and left to what Felix assumed was his office space.

"Hello Felix!" Adrien greeted him with as much enthusiasm as he could muster in his sleepy state. "Come with me and I'll show you to your room."

Adrien led Felix to their room and listed all of the rules of the household that they were expected to follow. And... wow. Felix could not believe that their cousin had to live like this. The only social interaction this kid gets is at school and fencing? Pre-approved outings only with people determined socially acceptable by Gabriel? And if he gets even one "B" he isn't even going to be allowed to go to school at all? Felix knew that the living situation was bad for Adrien but know the only question running through their head was: What did they get themselves into??

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And... thats it for chapter 1! Mostly background info at this point, but next chapter will be the class' reaction to feralnette and felinette meeting for the first time. I just want to say thanks again to @bigfatbreak for giving me the inspiration to write a fic for the first time ever. Feel free to leave constructive criticism, I'm always looking to improve, especially at writing since this is my first time posting anything I've written online, so I want to get better so that I can make better content for you guys, gals, and non-binary pals. If anyone wants to be tagged just let me know and I'll make a tag list for ya. :)

[ohworm-writes]

hello! :) so u know how kuon has a crush on sniper right ? can i get an imagine where reader is jealous bc of kuon, cuz u know, her crush on sniper etc etc (sorry i'm just vv lazy at typing), and how sniper reacts to it ?? can u make it like they're still friends but have mutual feelings for each other as they hang out as a unit, and they get together in the end bc sum confessions happened !! sorry if u don't get it i'm rlly bad at explaining but thank u in advance if u do this !! <33

High-Rise Invasion/Tenkuu Shinpan: Sniper Mask Boyfriend Imagine

high-rise invasion/tenkuu shinpan masterlist

‼ Jealous Reader (over Kuon) + Make up + Confession ‼

Featuring: Sniper Mask, Yuri Honjo, Mayuko Nise (implied), Kuon Shinzaki (implied)

Warnings: frustrated Y/n, crushes, jealousy

a/n - good GODS this has been in my inbox for a while and i’m so so so sorry for not posting it way sooner! hopefully you see this anon, and i hope you enjoy!

content below the cut!

you had developed a crush on the man in the mask ever since you first joined Yuri's little group

you couldn't really tell what it was the drew you to him

he was silent, dismissive, and he was a Mask for goodness sake!

but none of that deterred you from the attraction you garnered for him

you always found yourself trying to interact with him

whether it was offering your help with something that he was doing, or simply keeping him company

most times he brushed you off, walking away and not giving you an answer

other times he silently accepted your offer

those times the two of you would sit in comfortable silence, just enjoying one another's presence

you cherish moments like these for a very specific reason

Kuon

now you had nothing against the girl!

... at first

she seemed nice enough, always eager to help, and full of ignorant innocence

but then you realized her (very obvious) crush on the masked man

the way she got flustered around him so easily

the way she clung to him like a lost child

at first, you thought maybe she saw him as a parental figure, seeing how young she was

but that thought was (very) quickly thrown to the wind when you saw her wrapped up in his jacket, blushing like the schoolgirl she was and giggling to herself

so what she liked him? you liked him too, maybe the two of you could bond over that!

that's what you told yourself

of course, you never acted on it

it was simple, you were too jealous to do so

you noticed how Sniper Mask welcomed all her little instances without a care in the world

not giving a damn when she clung to him

or batting an eye at her obvious fangirling

it pissed you off

naturally, you began to avoid Kuon

and Sniper Mask simultaneously

you avoided the two of them whenever you could

when you saw them walking towards you, you kept to the opposite side of the wall and walked quickly past them

when you all usually ate together, you picked up your food and ate outside

you were simply, undeniably jealous

you didn't think Sniper Mask cared about it, not that you could tell under his mask

but in actuality, he was confused as to why you avoided him all of the sudden

so, he opted to ask you one day

You shut the door to the dining room rather aggressively as you exited, but you couldn't care less. You let your body slump against the adjacent wall, your plate of food resting on your lap.

Today had been... exhausting, to say the least. Kuon was on her usual actions of pining over 'Mr. Mask', crossing your way a few more times than you would have liked. During your meeting earlier with her and Yuri, your fellow mouthless masked allies, she had the gall to talk on and on about how much she adored him.

You hated it.

You looked down at your food, a scowl finding its place on your features. You glared at it, pushing the pieces around with your fork, not noticing a door open and close right in front of you.

"Jesus, if that food was alive, it would be 6 feet under with the glare you're giving it." You hear a gruff voice call from in front of you. A voice you would rather not be hearing right now.

You continue to move around the food, staying silent as the man awkwardly stands in front of you, unsure of what to do with himself in this situation. "Is it, uh, okay if I sit here?" He asks, which finally makes you look up.

He had a plate of food between his own hands, his jacket gone and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His mask covered his face, per usual, but it seemed much more lopsided than usual.

You give him a shrug in response, looking back down at your food again. He stands there for a moment, before taking a seat right next to you, your knees almost touching. "You don't mind if I eat with you, right?"

His question makes your eye twitch. Was he seriously trying to be all buddy-buddy with you now? You shrugged again, not giving him as much as a single word.

You heard him sigh, setting his food to the side before he speaks again. "Alright, what's going on?" He asks, making your body tense up. "Nothing." You shoot back, scowling.

"What happened to the Y/n that stayed up and talked about their life for hours? What happened to the Y/n that told me horrible jokes to try and get a reaction out of me? Huh? What happened to them?"

That broke you.

You were angry, furious even. Was he trying to blame this on you? You didn't do anything wrong! If it wasn't for Kuon, maybe you would still be that person! If it wasn't for her, you could still be friends with him! You could be-

"What?" You hear him say softly, much softer than his previous tone. Shit, did you say that out loud? "Yeah, you did." He says again, looking at you with a concerned expression on his face, not that you could tell.

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out. I just- I’ve been-" You stutter, trying to find the right words. He laughs at that, actually laughs at it.

His laugh is hearty, warm, almost inviting you to laugh along with him. You don't, but he quickly composes himself, making your head turn towards him.

"Why on Earth were you jealous of Kuon?" He asks honestly, watching at how the invisible gears turn in your head, searching for an answer. You sigh heavily, running a hand across your face as you shake your hands while you speak.

"I just- she’s always there with you. She's latched onto you 24/7! I can't get 5 minutes alone with you before she comes barging in." You rant, frustration evident in your shaky voice.

"I just wanted to be your friend, be close with you. I can never do that because she's-she's there." You groan, hugging yourself with your arms. "I sound like a selfish idiot now, huh?"

You laugh dryly, frowning. He sighs, but a smile plays at his lips. "Y/n." He begins, his hand resting you your forearm. "You know she would never purposefully do that. She just, she has an infatuation with me I guess."

He sighs dramatically, earning a chuckle from you. "But." He tells you, watching your eyes as he speaks. "That doesn't mean I didn't miss you."

Your heart skips a beat at his comment, face flushing softly. "Kuon also misses you. You might not have caught onto it, but she looks up to you." He explains, smiling at how your expression softens, mumbling a soft 'she does?' to him.

He nods, laughing once more. "Come on, have dinner with the rest of us. We can't have you sitting alone out here anymore." You roll your eyes, but take him up on his word. He leads you back to the other, Kuon frantically waving over to the two of you the second you pass through the door.

"Y/n! Come sit with me!" She yells excitedly. Maybe you were wrong about her.

after that interaction, the three of you were all on much better terms

yes, kuon still had her habits, but he toned them WAY down after you explained to her how it made you feel

she teased the hell out of you for it too

you, of course, shrugged it off

but you never told her that she was wrong

you were happy to be on good terms with Sniper Mask again

he made a lot more time for you

your old interactions coming back at full force, and some new ones

he loved to take you on little walks on the high rises

he also made it a point to teach you how to shoot his rifle

which was terrifying, but exhilarating

you fell for him harder and harder every day

one day, you ranted your feelings out to Kuon

and while she wasn't surprised, it warmed her heart to see how much you loved him

yes, she crushed on him too, but that didn't take away from the obvious connection she saw between the two of you

unbeknownst to you, Sniper Mask had come to her about the same things

his usually cold demeanor broke whenever he talked with you

he genuinely enjoyed your company, he wanted more of it

and then some

so, she put a plan together

operation "get Mr. Mask and Y/n together" is a go!

she took it all very seriously

making sure you guys get paired together for scouting missions? that's all her

convincing Sniper Mask to get you little gifts and things? of course

overall, the best wing-woman you could ask for

however, the one thing she didn't have anything to do with was his confession to you

he could have used her help with it, that much was clear

but he wanted to tell you how he felt, no help necessary

Sniper Mask had told you earlier this morning to meet you at his room when the sunset before he rushed to get out of your vicinity like you were a plague. Granted, it hurt your feelings, but you couldn't stand him up.

You knocked gently on the wooden door, stepping back and waiting patiently for it to open. After about a minute, while you had heard nothing, you went to knock again.

Your efforts were proved useless as the door swung open hastily, revealing a disheveled Sniper Mask. His usual blazer and fedora were long forgotten, his hair messy, strands pointing this way and that. His mask sat lopsided on his face, still covering it fully.

"H-hey Y/n." He mumbled out, you offered him a wave as he awkwardly shuffled to the side, opening the door as an incentive for you to come in. You stepped inside, walking to the center of the room as you heard him close the door behind you.

You turned to speak to him again, but those thoughts were cast aside as you felt his hands settle onto your cheeks and his lips molding with yours. It startled you, you're eyes open in shock as you looked at him. His mask was completely off, thrown somewhere in the room, but he didn't seem to have a care in the world.

You quickly melted into the kiss, bringing your hands up to gently hold onto his forearms. He hummed, taking a moment before pulling away, leaving the two of you to gasp for air as he rested his forehead against yours. You opened your eyes to meet his, full of adoration.

"I, uh, I think I'm in love with you?" It was more of a question, but you took it happily. You laughed softly, your fingers rubbing small circles in his forearms.

"Was that what that was?"

[in-my-feels-probably]

Bet On It - Kaz Brekker

Kaz Brekker x Reader

Bet On It

Request - Can I request a Kaz Brekker imagine where the reader is a Crow and she and Kaz love each other but she isn’t certain of his feelings until the night she comes back to the Slat after a mission for Kaz to find that Kaz took care to protect and look after a merchant’s preteen son when the merchant’s son came to the Crow Club looking for her after he was attacked because Kaz knows she's like a big sister to the merchant’s son since his parents neglect him? Thank you in advance!

Hey! I hope this is what you were looking for, I really liked this idea, thank you for the request.

@ofrosesandteacups

---

You were headed back towards the Slat after finishing a job Kaz had sent you on. You complained, but begrudgingly accepted. Kaz had been acting weird around you recently, he seemed to be distancing himself, and you hated it. You’d never admit it to anyone else, but you really cared about him. Apparently it was pretty obvious, considering Jesper would nonstop tease you about it and try to embarrass you around Kaz.

He’d say something like, “What? I’m just increasing your odds with him. I’d even bet on it that he likes you too.”

You weren’t so sure, though. Kaz had never been an affectionate person, but you’d catch him staring sometimes, or you’d suddenly have something lying on your bed you complained to Inej about needing to get. You knew it was Kaz, and you knew it was his way of showing that he cared about his Crows. Still though, you were unsure about how he really felt about you.

Shaking it off, you headed into the Slat, making your way towards your room, when Jesper stopped you.

“That kid is here again, he came in here pretty banged up, I sent him to your room because I thought you were here.”

He was talking about a merchant’s son, who had never told you his name. You deemed him Bub, something you called Wylan a lot sarcastically when he first joined. He reminded you a lot of Wylan, actually. Young, with a shitty father, always seeming to get himself in some sort of trouble. It would be annoying if he wasn’t a nice kid to be around. He couldn’t have been older than 13 or so, and you couldn’t imagine why his father would let him walk around the Barrel in nice clothes like that, he’s bound to get jumped.

“Oh, shit, ok, can you tell Kaz I’m back and that it went fine? I gotta go check on the kid.” You began making your way up the stairs, when Jesper caught your wrist.

“Actually, Kaz is up there right now. I saw him slip into your office, he said something about not letting the kid bleed all over his floors. Go on, go see your boyfriend, check on your kid. Also, I told you I was betting on it.”

“Shut up, Jesper,” you had said, but you were grinning to yourself, making your way up the stairs. You walked into your room to see Kaz on the edge of your bed, bad leg resting up on it, and the kid sitting in the chair across from him, ice pressed to his temple, random unused bandages on the table next to him. You would have to put those on for him, knowing Kaz wouldn’t have been able to. You glanced thankfully at Kaz, before making your way to the kid.

“Hey Bub, what happened? I’m sorry I wasn’t here, I had to go do a few things.” You did your best to sound comforting and inviting, a tone Kaz wasn’t used to hearing from you. You missed how Kaz’s eyes softened watching you with the kid, a look of uncomfortableness being replaced with adoration.

“Got jumped...tried to fight back, got my ass handed to me.” He said sheepishly as you began wiping away some of the blood and grime, cleaning him up. Kaz darkly chuckled at that.

“That’s the spirit, kid. I assume you’ve got this from here, Y/N?” You nodded, and Kaz stood, heading out the door to his room. Your eyes lingered towards the door, when the kid spoke up.

“He likes you, you know. He didn’t say much, but he told me about where you were, why you were gone. I don’t think he realized it, but he would get this look in his eye every time he said your name. Like he was picturing you for the first time, remembering your face. It was cute, but I won’t lie, I was very weirded out. I didn’t think he could feel any other emotion besides rage and annoyance.”

Your face heated up, a smile making its way onto your face. “Stop it. Let’s get you cleaned up, and I’ll make up a room for you, ok? You’re not going back home tonight, not without one of us taking you, and I don’t think any of us are up to walking through Dime Lion turf this late at night.

You cleaned up his face, bandaged what you could, scanning his body for any visible injury, and then brought him to the spare room. “Go ahead and wash up, relax, I’ll bring up some of Jesper’s old clothes and some food later.”

You closed the door behind you, now standing in the middle of the hallway. Taking a deep breath, you knocked on Kaz’s door.

“Come in.” Sighing, you stepped inside, shutting the door behind you. He hadn’t glanced up from his papers yet.

“You took him in. You’ve never even acknowledged his presence, and you actually took the time to make sure he was ok? Jesper’s here, he could have taken over, he likes the kid. Why did you? Not that I’m complaining, I really appreciate it, but why?”

He had glanced up now, staring at your position in front of his desk, twiddling with your thumbs. He stared a minute, trying to find the right thing to say. It was now or never.

“I know how much he means to you...and that means something to me.” He finally spit out.

A small smile made its way to your lips. Kaz’s eyes lit up, and you knew in that moment exactly why he took the kid in, why he was acting the way he was recently around you. You reached over and grabbed his cane, watching his eyes widen with uncertainty. You tapped the end to his ankle, something he often did to you as a sign of appreciation. A small blush appeared on his cheeks, his eyes no longer meeting yours. You seemed to be the only one that could bring out such a boyish reaction in him.

“Thank you, Kaz.” He only nodded, a light sparkle in his eye.

You grinned again, and made your way out of his room to check up on the kid. Jesper was in the hallway, a smirk on his face.

“I told you so. I even bet on it.”

---

Thank you so much for the request, I really liked this one. Feel free to leave any requests for any other characters or scenarios, and thank you for the support! Also, a new chapter of Ineffable will be up soon, and both of these will be on my masterlist as well as my Wattpad.