#dreading everything
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im trying to push through the pit ….but am i really
#am i really trying? I don’t know. because any victory doesn’t feel like a victory in the moment#I couldn’t recognize a small victory even if i were to have one#i just feel like im failing everything…failing myself…going no where…becoming nothing…#just makes me feel hollow#and dread#dreading everything#i want to erode to dust
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ty to @icedmatchawoatmilk13 for sending this to me! i may have gone a bit overboard but this was so much fun to fill out/think about BAHAHA💖 ill still never get over how perfect the song sarah smiles is for them...the lyrics AND the fact that its an alliteration...im gonna do an animatic about seb and clora to that song one day i swear 😩 ((blank template by oakwolves!))
#like fr....'i was fine just a guy living on my own/waiting for the sky to fall/till you called and changed it all doll' LIKE!!!!!#makes me think of seb just waiting/dreading for anne to die but then clora comes along and changes everything/saves anne AND him#ok sorry my squeeing and yapping about how perfect this song is for them is done#choccyart#clora clemons#the hardest part of this chart for me to fill out was the starting arguments one honestly...but i think theyre pretty even LOL#clora is the ROOT of their arguments usually and then seb just reacts to her bullshit......so its a 50/50 LMAO. cause and effect#also sebs pda WOULD be at 100% if not for clora LMAO#and sorry for making seb h*terosexual😔 honestly i cant see either of them with anyone else hes just clorasexual tbh#also if i could have given seb an autumn birthday I WOULD HAVE but i needed his bday to be early on in my fic...for reasons...#looking at aquarius personalities tho i DO think it unintentionally suits seb a lot#i wouldnt have made cloras bday in april either if i could have chosen freely i would have done either summer or december#but then again i just recently learned that the birth flower for april is DAISIES!! so its perfect🥰#youd think i would know this since my bday is also in april LMFAO i like how i only care/do this research when its about my ocs and not me#BAHAHAH priorities!!!
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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is it really you?
#inspired by this one tweet with that premise#despite everything its still you#i just made it edgier#i need to remind every sunday fan of my dreadful existence#sunday#art#fanart#honkai star rail#hsr#sunday hsr#hsr sunday#hsr fanart#penacony#sunday honkai star rail#robin#hsr robin#robin hsr
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random Jason Todd hc's:
He has cauliflower ears
He's not necessarily catholic, but Catherine was a bit before she went on her addict espiral so he likes to go to church on her birthday and deathday
One of his ear lobes had to be stitched back together after a spar with Damian went wrong
Stephanie unintentionally got him into skincare so now he has a morning and night routine, he has all the top quality expensive stuff
He uses "women's" body lotion, so he's always smelling like jasmine and almond oil
His hair was very curly growing up, but after his dip in the pit it's more on the wavy side, Talia calls it his placenta perm
All his teeth grew back from zero after the pit so he had to use braces again and is stuck with retainers until his league assigned dentist says otherwise
He attends med school out of spite – gotta get that doctorate before anyone else in the family –, but everyone on his course loves him
Once he went undercover to a gym, spying on a villain and got swarmed by gym bros asking his workout routine, what he did for bulking and for his Instagram
Did modeling for one of his college friends as a favor once and people from the fashion department are bitter because he won't model again
Wanted long hair, but Dick has a mullet, Tim's hair is on the longer side, Damian's hair is long – but spiked – and Duke's locs were getting pretty long too, so he asked for a shorter haircut and got hit with the kdrama CEO haircut, carries around a tiny straightener to style it everyday, otherwise it looks weird
Has people stationed in every part of Gotham, from the working girls, drug trade, schools, government workers, the gcpd, every major company, kids also pass along messages like a big game of telephone
All of his lieutenants have a name related to red someway: Ruby, Valentine, Brick, Rusty, Sangria, Blaze
He's his own right hand man, Blaze, people are more open to him as Blaze and are mostly likely to spill or tell things to him they wouldn't dare to tell Red Hood so he uses it to keep his gang "clean"
Sangria is completely enamoured by Red Hood, but would throw a shoe at Blaze's face without thinking twice, Jason finds it funny
He was on the book club, theater, MUN and the choir during his time at Gotham prep , he was training to join the baseball team too, before shit hit the fan
Uses the British version of words/speaks with an accent constantly, since Alfred was the one who tutored him on stuff from the school years he missed
Talia sent him to a korean martial master and he had to learn how to do aegyo to survive, he sometimes will forget that he's a very large man and act/speak cutely whenever he's in the vicinity of an ahjumma, they usually find him adorable
#jason todd#dc comics#red hood#batfam#crime boss jason todd#he has the whole 'be mine' song memorized and it causes him so much mental anguish he would prefer being blow up by the joker again#is it noticeable that im a foreigner in korea by my dread over foing aegyo?#doing**#mom talia is everything to me#let me be
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Period Drama Appreciation 2024 ↳ Day 3: favorite costumes
PENNY DREADFUL (2014-2016) costume design by Gabriella Pescucci
#pennydreadfuledit#penny dreadful#perioddramaappreciation24#tvedit#dailyflicks#cinematv#cinemapix#tvgifs#userstream#tvarchive#costumeedit#perioddramaedit#femalecharacters#femalegifsource#*#honestly everything billie wore is Peak
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IF BLU SNIPER CAN GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT AND COME OUT THE OTHER END MOSTLY ALIVE AND WELL THEN SO CAN I DAMNIT ‼️‼️‼️
#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 sniper#sniper tf2#blu sniper#doodle#digital art#artists on tumblr#mine#my art#true blu#RAHHHHHHHH#its saur funny. sniper wasnt even a top 5 character to me#but blu sniper is everything to me man. his existential dread reflects so much of my own#we're gonna get thru this together polygon guy
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im so fucking useless
#all I do is consume without contributing anything to society#i feel so guilty for eating breathing taking up space buying things producing trash wasting people's time and energy#literally my existence has no meaning#why am i alive#literally w.o.r.t.h.l.e.s.s.#tw depressive#tw depressing thoughts#tw depression#depressing shit#sorry for being depressing#im exhausted#i hate everything#i hate my self#more than anyone else#i dread having to exist#self h@te#i'm sad#mentally tired#vent#venting#personal
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taash said "they were doing it" and people ran with the interpretation of an npc that doesn't know solas or the history of the elvhenan even when bellara interjected and said, no, that's not right. that's not how it was for the elvhenan. they formed bonds before they had physical bodies. and people ran to doompost or create weird anti-solavellan shit even though mythal & solas refer to each other as old friends and when she releases him there is no tenderness or love in it. it is the act of unchaining a dog from his post, the stepping down of a general. but to each their own ig.
#let the record show i think love was there. do I personally perceive it as romantic / sexual? no.#mythal's perception of love & care is warped in and of itself#i think they loved each other. but she loved what she could take from him and what he could give in terms of service#not because she was romantically into him#also i wish we knew more about her & elgar'nan. her regret prison form says she holds no love for him anymore#and it makes me wonder when that love soured. was it when she was blighted? before that? was that love also born of duty and companionship?#this is the last post i'm gonna make ab this i think#bc i believe people are too caught up in the modern western ideas of love as thing we give solely to our romantic partners#and we literally have a character go ”our perception is warped bc of the age we live in” and some of you are still being purposefully obtuse#and i think trick saying it's up to interpretation is basically admitting EA had them dumb down the game anyway#if everything ab the rise and fall of the evanuris in game#was condensed to five 2min cutscenes it says enough that whatever the writers wanted#was swiftly cut down by corporate dept. basically saying it's in the fans' court now#also bc it's an easy cop out around new players & non solasmancers who are indifferent ab him / dislike him#as a way to appeal thru a more sympathetic lense of look!! he loved and was led astray#not to mention the clear justinia / leliana parallels#and leliana gets angry if you imply she was romantically involved / in love w justinia#and the romance descr when you remake your inq saying the dread wolf could not predict what it would mean to fall IN LOVE#implying he had never fallen in love before or at the very least experienced a romantic love#also him saying drinking from the well would make you a slave and he gets really upset#yet ive seen takes of ”hes doing this for her cus he dgaf ab lavellan” ?? he got mythal killed when he told her ab the blight#whatever feelings of admiration he had for her have rotted. he is literally burdened by his mistakes and his choice in joining her#i feel like if i were a spirit bound and twisted into a weapon i would need my creator to tell me i am Free. i would need that closure#like when cole says its not abuse to bind him if he asks and solas said thats not always true???#if you perceive her interaction w him in vg third act as#anything more than the way justinia released leliana in inq then im sorry maybe youre just obtuse#solavellan#mythal#dragon age meta
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Uhm, possible spoilers i think for Marble Sky [made by @somerandomdudelmao in which you should go and check out if you haven’t read rn cause they be very cool very cool and very cool]
but—OMG I LOVE THIS BIRB AUUUHGHGHHGUGHUHURHUEHGI—
IN WHICH THEY ARE PERFECTLY FINE AND WE SEE SO SO MUCH OF THEM NYYYGUUH—
Guys guys guys — please trust meee she is A-OK and she is gonna be a teacher to Oscar as they make a pacifist alien befriending club
I am not in denial i have no clue what you’re talking about—
I ain’t got a clue what these so called ‘jars’ even look like yet but i sketched a thing out immediately and then at that point my intrigueness started to fade, and then the ref came out and for some reason that boosted my interest even further. But i know what a bird’s brain looks like now so thats something.
I just think she seems very cool
I may have also did some other doodles a week or 2 ago that i didn’t post cause the social of anxiety was kickin in high those days but I’ll put them under the cut if thou wishes to see
That is all ok buh byyeeee go see marble skiessssss
#I saw this woman for less than a second and now i am dreading everything in my life#OUUGHHH she was only there for like 1 single scene AUUUGH#I SHAKE YOU GIVE HER BACK GIVE HER BAC-#ok imma head out now because in case you couldn’t tell my brain needs sleep due to the fact it is past midnight rn#haha little do you know the reason i posted this at midnight was because I STILL got that anxiety in me—#AH HA HA haaaaa..#…#anywho#enjoy#have a very good day#am tired#oufff#have a good day#my drawings#marble sky#weeeeeeee ok bye
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Dragon Age: The Veilguard concept art and illustrations by Albert Urmanov, under a cut in case of spoilers.
Props -
Albert Urmanov: "Lighthouse table Concept for the main Lighthouse table. This is the place where the crew is getting together to discuss latest events and plan ahead" [source]
Props -
"Antivan furniture Antivan furniture concepts" [source]
Illustrations -
"Getting the gang together Illustration done for Dragon Age: The Veilguard" [source]
"Meet Bellara Illustration I did to capture the moment we meet Bellara for the first time in Arlathan Forest." [source]
"Round table This was a fun task - I wanted to show the personalities of our followers through their poses and the way they were sitting around the table, discussing all the latest events etc. Even a small and seemingly simple thing as sitting down can actually express and tell us a LOT about someones personality. Are they relaxed? Is someone falling asleep? Maybe someone can´t sit still because of some reason etc etc. Happy that we stayed pretty close to the concept in the final game!" [source]
"Assorted Illustrations" [source]
Art by Albert Urmanov.
#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: dreadwolf#dragon age 4#the dread wolf rises#da4#dragon age#bioware#video games#solas#alcohol cw#all the concept art and illustrations and environmental concepts - environmental art - animations - lighting - set designs - models - vfx#everything in this game is just so pretty :)
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I love when older characters actually refer to them as KIDS
BECAUSE THEY ARE KIDS AND IT'S NOT EMPHASIZED ENOUGH IN THE MAINLINE 👏
#this is where the movies nail everything else#dread called sonic “lad” once in prime#big called sonic “little guy” once and it was cute#and every now and then someone will mention him being a teenager#and knuckles will call tails “kid”#but idk it should be done more#they're not incapable they're very strong and powerful and incredible#but#they are still SO YOUNG#i especially appreciate the good older characters for this very reason#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#miles tails prower#amy rose#belle the tinkerer#sonic idw#idw sonic#idw sonic comics#sonic idw spoilers#minor spoilers
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Hot Cocoa! 🍫☕️
Wanted to post them all together AJZBNIZBKA
Ty to anyone who sent them hot cocoa! Hopefully I'll have more ocs for another game like this in the future lmao
Dividers
#hot cocoa game 🍫☕️#that's gonna be a lot of tags#but I can't help it#must...categories...everything...#twisted wonderland#twst#twst oc x canon#oc x canon#twst oc#twst ocs#azul ashengrotto#honest fellow#ernesto foulworth#neige leblanche#idia shroud#rollo flamme#jovelina enspellika#pio occhibelli#jess aritidis#penelope spring#my persona#gris enspellika#lila ashengrotto#inky ribbons#fools' play#winter bloom#dreadful blossom#midnight chime#and uh the siblings lol#harry's art
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Minthara:
Also Minthara:
I just can't with her dialogues, like. She goes from slurs to tadpole sexting to incredibly raw. And then there's just these conversations. Which are just a bazillion times more painful when ya know what's actually going on. Sure rip my heart apart Larian, not like I need it anyway.
This hurts so much.
'You're broken, but I decided I will fix you.' - Minthara Baenre what the hell
Also just this. Just look at this. How the fuck am I meant to be normal about this.
I just can't. Like yeah they're all tragedies in their own right but Minthy and Durge take the absolute cake (pun unintended).
I'm so sorry I'll return to normal in... let's be real probably not until 2029 or perhaps never.
#im so normal about her#so so normal#she makes me cry while also gasp in awe#the doom and the dread but theres also hope#and yet she ends up caught in the webs that trapped her in the first place the very first chance she gets#instead of devoting herself to lolth or the absolute she devotes herself to you#she just straight up deifies you#but valid cuz realistically#she just lost fucking everything#her faith was the only thing that mattered to her but her gods betrayed her#and for those traitors she lost her home; lovers; family#im so cool abt it so so cool#bg3#minthara baenre#bg3 spoilers#<- im tagging it just in case
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PENNY DREADFUL (2014 - 2016)
S02E02 - Verbis Diablo
#penny dreadful#pennydreadfuledit#tvgif#filmtvgifs#ethan chandler#josh hartnett#ferdinand lyle#simon russell beale#simply everything to me
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At home in the shadows. Forgotten dreams.
Solas: Dragon age
Ink on paper
#I just wanted to paint our favorite sad elf#Who doens't cry a bit when you hear Solas thoughts through Cole??? It broke by heart#He hurts#an old pain from before#when everything sang the same. You're real#and it means everyone could be real. It changes everything#but it can't.#ughhjejnfkjeewf#sad egg#look at this pretty ancient elvhen baby#yes he made some questionable life choices but who hasn't? ha ha#I like my favourite character to carry a load of angst and unprocessed trauma on their backs just like the rest of us <3#dragon age inquisition#my fanart#dai#dragon age#again#dragon age: dreadwolf#dread wolf rises#solasmance#fen'harel#the dread wolf#original art#dragon age fanart#dragon age portraits#solavellan#solas#traditional illustration#traditional painting#illutration
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