#she just lost fucking everything
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Minthara:
Also Minthara:
I just can't with her dialogues, like. She goes from slurs to tadpole sexting to incredibly raw. And then there's just these conversations. Which are just a bazillion times more painful when ya know what's actually going on. Sure rip my heart apart Larian, not like I need it anyway.
This hurts so much.
'You're broken, but I decided I will fix you.' - Minthara Baenre what the hell
Also just this. Just look at this. How the fuck am I meant to be normal about this.
I just can't. Like yeah they're all tragedies in their own right but Minthy and Durge take the absolute cake (pun unintended).
I'm so sorry I'll return to normal in... let's be real probably not until 2029 or perhaps never.
#im so normal about her#so so normal#she makes me cry while also gasp in awe#the doom and the dread but theres also hope#and yet she ends up caught in the webs that trapped her in the first place the very first chance she gets#instead of devoting herself to lolth or the absolute she devotes herself to you#she just straight up deifies you#but valid cuz realistically#she just lost fucking everything#her faith was the only thing that mattered to her but her gods betrayed her#and for those traitors she lost her home; lovers; family#im so cool abt it so so cool#bg3#minthara baenre#bg3 spoilers#<- im tagging it just in case
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As per usual, it’s DP crossover with (probably) DC, although you could probably adjust it for other fandoms
ANYWAYS
A little kid and his mother are trick or treating in another city, perhaps at some kind of event rather than knocking on doors, and the kid is dressed as Phantom. It’s very adorable, with his little ghost-shaped bucket and clearly homemade and already stained costume—listen, white only works if you can just fly over street grime or phase it out of your clothes—and his slightly I’ll fitting wig. The kid is SO happy to be out and about dressed as his favorite, and maybe even showed it off to Phantom back in Amity Park before his family left.
The hero, insert whoever you wish here, is probably in civvies and just enjoying the event. The kid, meanwhile, is so glad when people ask who he is so he can explain, and so- the hero gets to hear ALL ABOUT the local town hero who is probably pretty small time despite the kid’s clearly exaggerated stories. The hero certainly never heard of him, but the kid’s mom confirms that Phantom really was the town hero, despite some mixed reviews of the poor guy.
“Did you manage to show him your costume?” the hero asks.
“Yeah! We went down to the cemetery to leave flowers and I got to show him my costume.”
Wait. Cemetery? Maybe it was part of theme, because Phantom had to be named that for a reason, but… it sounded like…
The kid ignores the suddenly VERY still hero and instead turns to his mom. ��Momma, do you think we should bring him candy? He doesn’t get to trick or treat like we do, and I can work super hard to get him a bunch!”
The kid’s mom just smiles. “We could, but maybe we should bring him something homemade. I bet he’d like something more filling, teen boys like him have a hollow leg.”
The kid wrinkles his nose. “Like Vernie with the pizza bagels?”
“Like your cousin, yes. We can make some cinnamon rolls and take them to his memorial, maybe bring some of the apples from your grandpa’s garden…”
The hero is pretty much forgotten as the two-part family wanders off, not quite intentionally forgetting the hero is there so much as the hero somewhat accidentally ended the conversation when they just froze and didn’t ask anything further.
Not that the hero didn’t want to. But they’d learn something very serious.
One—there was a small town hero they’d never heard of. Two—that hero was apparently a teen. Third—most pressingly, the teen hero was both beloved enough to have kids dressing up as him and dead enough to have a grave.
This… might require some phone calls.
#dpxdc#danny phantom crossover#meanwhile Danny. sitting on a giant marble slab that has the most ridiculous gag gifts a ghost could ever ask for#he’s just like Oh Sweet Cinnamon Rolls!#he would try to convince people to bring him nasty burger but while val has MOSTLY gotten over her vindictive anger at Phantom DOES decide#that she’s gonna be petty and add cilantro to everything#because Danny has the cilantro soap gene#jokes on her he’ll still eat it#Danny likes his little memorial in the grave. it helps settle him sometimes. also he’s gotten to know the security guards for the cemetery#they’re fun. a bit morbid. they LIKE his jokes so you can stuff it JAZZ#MEANWHILE the hero. Whomstever they are but like 90% of you are thinking either batfam or Justice league#are having just. a TOUCH of a crisis#now they gotta figure out where the kid and his mom are from without either of them figuring out#dealer’s choice on what the GIW and why Amity Park isn’t on the radar#I’ll add my two cents bc when don’t I but I’m by and large not like… dictating this? anyways#I like making the GIW just a BIT more incompetent or just having some massive flaws as an organizational group#so they keep forgetting to tell people to not LEAVE and to keep quiet#average amity Parker if the GIW tried this anyways: aw that’s cute. anyways-#and if it’s dc I guess you need to figure out how the jl never found out. so#i mean there’s a LOT of heroes and cities in dc#and amity park is just lost to the noise or. bc Fenton bad luck#every time Danny tried to call. the jl had some insane disaster and or their systems were down#he eventually figured he might actually be cursed- jury’s still out on that -and he’s saving lives by just handling it himself#he can handle rhe metaphorical mega thunderstorms if it means he doesn’t accidentally summon a fucking tsunami to hit the planet ya know?#the kid and the mom have no idea that what they said was Odd#they are just so used to it. amity park already was using death puns and had an. interesting history and relation with death#even BEFORE there was a dead kid flying around in his white gogo boots
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Vivienne's fear being 'becoming irrelevant' isn't something that's linked explicitly to her pride, no matter what Solas says about her (and the irony of Mr.Pride himself saying that should not be lost on you), it reveals what and who Vivienne truly is.
She's a survivalist.
Because we don't spend as much time in the Free Marches or Orlesian circles, we don't get to experience what being a mage is in these cultures. In Ferelden and Kirkwall, a mage is a lesser being without freedom no matter what they do--but in the Free Marches and Orlais specifically, mages are commodities that are given freedom so long as they play an entertaining enough role. They can explore the world if they have a noble patron, if they catch the right person's eye. They are, in a way, two sides of the same coin--refusing mages agency and forcing them to relay on higher powers. Vivienne lucked out, as sad as it is, when Bastion fell in love with her; she found someone who was contrarian enough to recognize her as a full person and also someone with power that could help her rise through the ranks. This is not to say that Vivienne on her own wasn't an exceedingly talented and intelligent individual--by nineteen she was already the youngest full fledged mage in Circle history and she was skilled enough to make herself an enchanter. But, I can not emphasize this enough, none of that matters if she didn't also play the Game and impress enough people.
Vivienne could have been the most brilliant mage in the history of Thedas and it means nothing if she was overlooked by nobility.
So when Bastion made her his mistress, she gained not just a lover but also a means to an end. Now she can use her magic to protect herself. Now she can roam where she wants and not be question for it because she's Madame Vivienne. Now, she can walk into the Orlasian court and belong there.
And what happens? Celene notices her and makes her the Court Enchanter, a position that has always been the equivalent of a jester. Vivienne took that title, ignored that it was essentially a glorified insult to who she is, and made it a position of power. She made the Court Enchanter into an advisor, a political rank. She had done the impossible and made mages an actual political entity in the Orlasian Court, something that wasn't seen outside of Tervinter (not counting what players can do under very specific conditions if they made mages in DAO and DA2).
All that, however, only continues as long as the court recognizes her as something worth their attention. Vivienne needs to maintain her act as Madame De Fer, The Lady of Iron, the Court Enchanter, The Jewel of the High Court, because the second she just becomes Vivienne, it's over for her. The assassins coming raining in, her name gets devoured by rumors and gossip, and she'll be found dead at bottom of the stair case with a dagger in her back if she's lucky.
So of course when the Circles fall apart during the Rebellion, she clings to that Loyalist Mages to maintain that structure--of course she moves her pieces to the Inquisition, knowing that if the Circle DOES fall, she at least as another place for herself and mages latch onto--of course when she hears that Celene replaced her with a new Court Enchanter that appeared out of no where, she grows to resent Morrigan.
Like, Morrigan literally pops up out of thin air, makes herself invaluable to Celene, and then plants herself in the place Vivienne had to claw her way up to and create so she could survive. Would you not be resentful when your life's work is usurped by some random witch of the wilds because she happened to charm the Empress? Everything Vivienne strived for all whisked away because the court find a gem who glimmers ever so slightly more than Vivienne.
So yes, Vivienne fears becoming irrelevant because the world has made it so that irrelevance for an Orlesian mage means death.
#vivienne making herself into the most beautiful shining gem of the court#making herself razor sharp and blindingly glittering and audacious so everyone HAS to look at her whether she likes it or not#and then when she thinks she can step away and focus on the Inquisition to help her fellow mages here comes Morrigan#who may be just as glittering just as sharp just as beautiful but she does it in a more wild way that the court snaps its head to look at h#and Vivienne fears that she's about to lost everything#and she white knuckles her alliance to the Inquisition like a life line and hope this gamble sees her through#because the alternative is far too horrifying for her to entertain#and do not confuse all of that with Vivienne being selfish because she's NOT Vivienne is not pulling the ladder from other mages#she wants them to have her power but she's aware that if Morrigan pulls HER ladder than it's all over#and really why the fuck are we holding all that against Vivienne when this is how the world made her (a world that is canonically colorist)#so she could live and breath and be seen as equal in some measurement?#I mean if you can sympathize with SOME OTHER MAGES for how they navigate an hostile world I wonder why you can't do the same for Vivienne#unless there's a glaring reason why you wouldn't dare get to know her#writing#vivienne de fer#dragon age#vivienne#dragon age inquisition
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i love that even though phoebe never gets to be with melody, never gets to interact with her in many ways, she will now forever do so in every way. phoebe will look up at the sky and see melody in the sun and the stars and the moon, see her in the clouds and the grass and the ceiling. she will bust ghosts with melody's essence etched into the proton pack and carved into her suit. she will simply be and melody will be a part of her. like, melody is now eternally attached to phoebe's foundation.
#like how is that not fucked up#i just love it#melody couldn't be with phoebe so now she's a part of her#phoebe lost a piece of her heart when melody left and now melody is filling it with her essence#that's so romantic#it's a fucking tragedy#melody will forever haunt her#isn't that beautiful?#phoebe will love her through everything she does#and that my dear fellas is so fucking sad and brilliant#phoebe spengler#melody ghostbusters#phelody#phoebe x melody#ghostbusters#frozen empire#ghostbusters frozen empire#checkmatch
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YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY#IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE#VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT#THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME#AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME#I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED?#SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE.#SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT.#GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME#WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!!#I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS#THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF?#OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS#in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade.#hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS
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ALSO the end of the episode when jemma is telling fitz that he’s the real hero because he was beside her the whole damn time in the lab and was giving her hope when she had none and then she kisses his cheek and walks away and he sits there smiling and then that smile slowly turns into more of a thinking contemplating oh shit face AND THEN HE KNOWS HE NEVER GOT OVER IT HE NEVER GOT OVER HER
#kat rambles#fitzsimmons#god thinking about the 6x06 flashback too and how we saw the night she friendzoned him and then ever since he probably just assumed he got#over her but NO he almost lost her he watched her jump out of a plane he was two seconds away from jumping out of the plane after her this#is REAL this isn’t going away!!!!!!#and he won’t let her die btw#not after this. not after everything. he knows there’s only one breath but he wants her to take it#but no! what?! he’s her best friend in the whole wide world!!! but…..she’s so much more than that to him#and so#that decision quite literally changes the course of the rest of his life#season two angst season three whatever the fuck was going on FRAMEWORK DOCTOR IJ HIS MIND SEASON FIVE RIFT WITH DAISY EVERYTHING EVERY#FUCKING THING#god i’m going on a tangent but when you get me started on these two#agents of shield
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It's my OCs' first birthday today, yippie!! They're enjoying their birthday with some tiny company and a horribly baked cake. But it's the thought that counts!
These are Pai, Aurelio, and Lizzie. They are a couple and run a diner together in the low suburbs of Halcandra. Their shop also serves as a safe space and shelter for other Star Borns just like them.
They also tend to take in the more little ones of their kind, soon after they've first formed. They look after them and teach them stuff, before letting them go to live independently. But they're always welcome back in their house! Be it for shelter, or a nice cup of coffee.
More about them under the cut. Be warned it gets kinda long.
Pai's ability is Cook. When he was little, he used to use his ability to make food to share with his whole neighborhood as a way of uniting everyone.
Since then he's been steadily building towards a goal, to open his very own Diner. He wanted to create a space for his community to thrive in, though he was severely disadvantaged in such a large city.
He's not one to give up and he always looks on the positive side of things. He tends to spoil the kids they look after with treats, and has a hard time saying no, so he often takes on more than he can handle.
He is the one that looks after the well-being of the kids, and generally, things that require a bit more... Tact. He looks after them when they're sick or injured, which is how he ends up meeting future GSA founders Arthur, Erebus, and Anansi.
Aurelio grew up in a scrapyard with 6 others of their kind, being kept there as guard dogs for the paranoid old man who owned the place. They were encouraged to fight each other for fun, which is how they got the scar across their face.
When they got too big and troublesome, most of them were kicked out of their home and left to fend for themselves.
Aurelio's Spear ability eventually landed them a job as a Knight for Halcandra's elites, where they worked alongside a few of their friends. Their job was to guard the meeting room and defend their assignment from threats.
A few years into this job, they and other soldiers were given a mission. A pair of dragons were nesting at the bottom of the Haldera Volcano, they had to get them out. Dragons are calm if not provoked, so relocation shouldn't be difficult...
As it turns out, the dragons were a mated pair. A male and a female, and they were viciously protecting their egg clutch.
In the battle against the dragons, Aurelio was injured and burned by fire, but their natural fire immunity allowed them to be one of the few survivors. Nevertheless, the Knights were successful in their mission and managed to drive the dragons out.
The 4 eggs that weren't crushed during the battle were passed off to the Ancients for research. They became the Guardian Angel Landia later on.
She was forced to retire from Knighthood at age 31. Due to the lasting effects of their injuries, Aurelio is the one who spends most of the time with the children. For better and for worse.
Because of their childhood, they have very skewed ideas of how to treat children. She'll often put them in dangerous situations unintentionally since she has no frame of reference to tell her that taking kids out to the Gator Pond isn't a very good idea.
Aurelio teaches the rougher life lessons. They've been through quite a bit, so they want the kids to learn how to defend themselves, and to be careful and not have others take advantage of them.
She does most of the disciplining and the one that gives timeouts and other such punishments. She is of the opinion that sometimes rough love is necessary to set someone straight. She's calm and loving, but a bit stuck in the old way of doing things.
Lizzie, real name Angeliz, is a 2-time college dropout who grew up upper class despite her species' disadvantage. She never had many friends growing up, since other kids didn't really like her, and resigned herself to being what her parents wanted her to be.
She tried to study medicine but quit after 2 years. Not wanting to further disappoint her parents, she went into law. Which she also hated but tried to commit to finishing despite how miserable it made her.
Meeting Pai and Aurelio helped her get through the year, but after Aurelio was injured, she quit law and started living with them. She helped Pai balance his business with taking care of Aurelio and eventually used some of the money she still had left to give Pai's Diner the little push forward it needed.
Despite the many etiquette classes she took as a child, Lizzie completely lacks social skills. She's a total disaster, especially when talking to someone she likes. Once she gets comfortable, her true personality starts to shine through.
She's a huge slob and kind of vulgar despite her cute appearance. She's easily angered and does not like to be teased, which makes putting up with bratty kids more difficult for her.
She tends to treat kids as little adults instead, which causes her to not be very mindful of their sensitivities. Even when in a good mood, trying to do her best, she always ends up saying the wrong thing and makes everything worse.
She handles the business aspect of their Diner, crunching numbers and reading over legal documents. She's really smart and knowledgeable, so she's the one who tends to teach kids reading, writing, and math.
Her ability is Bubble. She never used to like it, it was silly and useless to her, so she kept it hidden for years. After meeting her partners and becoming happy, she's started blowing bubbles more frequently. The kids love them.
#kirby#kirby series#kirby oc#oc: lizzie#oc: pai#oc: aurelio#polyorbs#that's just what i call them#their “ship name”#oc: erebus#oc: anansi#god I'm too ashamed to tag him#my art#arthur#<- just what i'll use for now#ANYWAY OC POSTING YAYYY I can't be normal about my ocs#so i yapped for way too long. including on these tags#and even then i still didn't manage to explain everything. or even specify how they met and got together and stuff#i tried my best to keep it brief and failed#i don't want to talk about how badly i fucked up that second drawing oh my godddd#i forgot to size up my sketch... I didn't even notice until i was doing the dialogue and i was like ew why does it look like that#So i apologize for both how tiny it is and its slight crustiness#couple of fun facts. lizzie wears glasses. though right now she wears contacts#she also has a scar on her left foot. and a big heart on her belly and one on her butt#her design is like. a care bear. but if it had the personality of a 52 year old dad#aurelio's injuries are on their arms and back. they put their arms up to protect their face after they lost their helmet#but the dragon crushed their arm plates. when they tried to retreat it slashed at their back#i unfortunately didn't get to finish aurelio's knight design in time. so you'll have to wait to see that
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toriel... what are your toriel takes today
i have a headcanon that toriel has a hand-washing compulsion where she does it wayy more thoroughly than needed, instinctively trying to scrub under her claws even when they're perfectly clean because she can still feel the phantom of dirt under them from the time she dug chara's grave.
#one. two. three. four hundred years. it doesn't matter when you buried your child alone#i think she was your obvious standard ''my son just died'' distraught at first just out of shock. but from the moment asgore declared war?#she swallowed her grief and acted as cold and rationally as she could. organizing her leave. taking the body without being noticed.#finding the ruins. sealing them. and yes burying the body. i think she held it together perfectly during that sequence of events#but when she went to wash her hands after it was done and she couldn't get the dirt out. and she could FEEL it digging into her fingertips#but unable to get the sensation out no matter how furiously she scrubbed & dug under them THAT'S when she truly lost it for the first time#and had a full on mental breakdown over everything that happened in so little time#and that experience kinda sealed itself in her brain. both mentally and sensorially. ergo: compulsion#this goat is so fucking traumatized#answered asks#undertale#toriel
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Genuinely fuck whatever arcane writers decided to make Vi the Meg of arcane. Genuinely wishing the worst for whoever decided that.
#like on a surface level it sucks#on a deeper level#crazy that the lesbians are the evil ones that caused all the bad things#and the straight couple wouldve fixed everything if the lesbian wouldve died like she was supposed to#its. not comfortable.#like its legitimately upsetting.#i want to be happy about caitvi but its so overshadowed by bad shit that it feels. not good#it feels like the apology you get from someone after they do something shitty and dont actually regret it#if that makes sense#genuinely why make a show that centers around a character that you hate with a fucking passion#and like its not like bojack horseman#vi only ever tries to help people#the more i think about act 3 the more i dont like it#more because of the fandom ill be honest#its just a sad reminder of how. far back we are#won the battle but lost the war#arcane#arcane spoilers#arcane critical
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Cass looks like a vampire
Nightwing #106
#dick is buff as fuck in this art style#and he's teaching cass how to make pancakes after she taught him a move so hmmm hmmmmm honestly i'm not mad at it#feels kinda off. like halfway between a fanfic story and what their relationship could've progressed to in canon#tt's story today was also alright other than that dumb joke about the ambulance#i like that ric mentioned that his memory wasn't good and that he lost minutes or days#that's def a continuation from the ric arc where ric said that he'd just black out sometimes#see i appreciate continuity details like that#buuuut ric keeping the letter that the guy gave him... lol it's just kinda funny since he torched the whole nightwing bunker#like oh yeah i'll save this letter for the old me in case he comes back but at the same time i'll burn everything old me had#Dick Grayson#Cassandra Cain#tuesday spoilers
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salvaged from the office fire in 1998
#my art#the x files#dana scully#fox mulder#alex krycek#i was talking about this on twitter yesterday but#i have a LOTTTTTT a lot of thought about this part of season two#mainly because i think that while scully probably realized she was never going to find peace ever again after emily#i do believe that the last time mulder ever thought everything would be okay was right before scully’s abduction#which is also kind of why i think mulder was closer to killing himself in ascension than in gethsemane#at the end of season four mulder is kind of resigned to his and scully’s lives unravelling#he’s more suspicious and slower to trust then he ever was#while ascension was the first time he was like. Oh okay. It’s over for us forever and ever#and the fact that he was still open and still kind of okay before that just kind of makes it worse#that he was just betrayed and left hanging and lost everyone he thought he had in one fell swoop#ascension jades the fuck out of him and you can see it. like through the whole series there are threads of it#his tendency to rely on skinner regresses for a while. he becomes even less functional when scully is gone.#he has far less patience for his informants and he refuses to rely on anyone the way he tried to on krycek#like it’s just. such an obvious shift in his character that you can tell his mindset about his and scully’s life has changed#and that’s a huge part of the show’s tragedy i think. there is no peace. there is no rest. it’s never going to be okay
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you know, we talk a lot about characters and/or relationships (of all kinds) being 'doomed by the narrative' around here, and how haunting and gut-wrenching that can be, especially when it so often takes the form of death and destruction and tragedy.
and we should keep doing that, obviously. death and destruction and tragedy kick total ass.
however. can we please spare a thought for the clowns trapped in that same (burning) room?
after all, what is a comic relief character if not doomed by the narrative to always act like a buffoon despite any and all circumstances, all for the sake of relieving narrative tension?
how must it feel, to have everyone around you dropping dead, losing limbs, losing loved ones, and otherwise being on the receiving end of unending torment - and all you can do is stand there and prattle off another zinger at your allotted time?
and what if you lose a loved one yourself, o jester mine? what if - hear me out - you lose multiple loved ones? what if it never ends? what will you do then?
well, if you're lucky, you'll get to mourn for all five of the seconds you're allowed to before the size thirty shoes go back on and the narrative moves on to other, more plot-central characters.
if you're not - well. it's a good thing clown makeup is waterproof, isn't it?
anyway, shout out to all my comedy kings out there doomed to play perpetual funnyman to their more plot-central counterparts despite being in undeniably comparable pain. you may be doomed by the narrative, but you are beloved by me <3
#fiction#writing#tropes#doomed by the narrative#yamada hizashi#present mic#yes this is about mic#as is everything tbfh#i've been wanting to make a similar doomed by the narrative post about nemuri for a while#but lbr in midnight's case it's less 'doomed by the narrative' than 'ignored by the narrative'#'forgotten by the narrative'#'fucked by the narrative'#it's not even 'sacrificed by/for the narrative' either because a sacrifice has to fucking mean something substantial#nem was killed more or less for shock value and to balance the scales after the villains lost twice#that's it#and before anyone comes after me - no i am not opposed to her death just because she's a female character and/or my fave#a look through this blog and my entire ao3 body of work will show that i am distressingly compelled by-#the tragedy of her death and what it means for her character and her loved ones#but hori has done exactly none of the work to pay off on that so i will not give him the credit for it#anyway.#don't mind me just ramblin'#meta
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thinking about isobel and ketheric, and my durge and ketheric, and isobel and my durge
like ketheric whos entire personality is centered around being a failed father, dirge who lives solely and exclusively for a father who does not love him, isobel being horribly violated for the sake of fatherly love in the name of a person shell never be again like excuse me this trio of people makes me go insane
ketheric and dirge like!! zealot recognizes zealot, ketheric knows what its like to be devoted wholeheartedly to a god who will discard you and thats explicitly why he has a businesslike relationship with myrkul, who KNOWSSS ketherics heart isnt in it but doesnt care, ketheric who never fully believed in the absolute plan but carried it out nonetheless, ketheric who nonsensically traded the death of the world for his daughters life, who in reality most likely traded his afterlife for isobels life, knowingly condemning himself to never see melodia again, to an eternity of torture at myrkuls hands, just so isobel can breathe again. dirge knowing with perfect clarity his own father would never do that for him. ketheric knowing that kind of hopeless devotion and willful blind ignorance leads to a kind of iron will that makes dirge genuinely dangerous but pitying the poor fool nonetheless because despite dirges clear intelligence and skill, despite his overwhelmingly obvious power, hes shackled to a self destructive idiot whod bite off his own arm just to spite the world who couldnt give a single fuck about dirges mental state or how that affects achieving bhaals OWN goals and fulfilling his OWN desires, because ketheric understands perfectly well a god will be stupid and selfish first and reasonable and measured second. dirge hating ketheric not just for being a wishywashy traitor who cant settle on something to be devoted to, but because ketheric has the shit figured out. its a zero sum game. theres no winning, only different types of losers, and embracing that truth means acknowledging his entire life has been a pointless self destructive waste that will never give him the satisfaction and actualization dirge craves, so its easier and more stable to just interpret ketheric as a coward. except hes going to kill himself for isobel. going to go through hell for her. theres a level of devotion and love and care there that dirge has only experienced once in his life and the memory of it is enough to drive him to madness, but despite it all ketheric IS competent. is level and measured and powerful and capable of looking past his own self interest to the far horizon of victory, is tactical and clever and willing to wade into the fray. so dirge hates, and admires, and envies, and pities, and reflexively seeks out and avoids ketheric in equal measure. wants to carve him up until he finally breaks, screaming for a god that wont hear him as just rewards for his insolence (because dirges loyalty will SURELY be rewarded, loyalty to his god and to his father, certainly), cant stand the idea of working alongside anyone else, hates being around him but hates doing things without him, falling into old habits of depravity just to get away from the cacophany of emotion and the introspection it tries to trigger.
and then ketheric is doing all of this for someone who doesnt really exist. the isobel he wants to revive isnt real. its a version of her thats stripped hollow of the things that make her, HER. he wants an isobel that doesnt love aylin, he wants an isobel that is content to remain in place and be protected by him, where he was the center of her world. he wants an isobel that hasnt existed for over a century. he wants an isobel like he remembers thinking of the days before melodia died. its why despite everything he gives up for her, if ketheric gets his hands on isobel he tadpoles her. the tadpoles are just a convenient tool for cutting away the unnecessary parts of a person, things they dont need and wont want afterwards. isobel mourns the father she had after her mother died, but ketheric wants the isobel she used to be when melodia was still present in their lives. the isobel after melodia died eventually left him for aylin. grew up and became a person outside of their small family and community. had interests and desires and goals that took her away from him. she doesnt need aylin, doesnt need anything besides family. thats whats important, thats whats worth ruining lives over. everything after isobel was just a failed copy, not even worth reminiscing over. everyone beyond isobel doesnt matter. desecrate the family tomb, abuse your son, drag your aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters out from the grave just to see if it works, if it sticks, because the whole world revolves around a little girl who stopped existing long before she died, because she became someone else someone new and left you floundering alone. youll get them back even if it means you burn in hell forever, those few precious moments are worth it, itll all be worth it, its already worth it. kill yourself kill the world because the only god worth dying for is the one found in between poorly scratched letters on a paper rotting from age that say "love you papa, -I T". live every day with the smoke and the rot knowing that your father loved you so much he cant even look at who you are now. live every day knowing its a gift you cant return to a man who doesnt see you, knowing that all youll ever have are ghosts that seek to hollow you out and play pretend with the shell. hes awful. hes horrible. hes a monster. hes your dad and he loves you so much its killing you. will kill you. has killed you. has killed everything you could ever want in your life. hes your dad. he read you stories when you were small. kept you from falling apart when your mother died. your rock in stormy seas. he wants to read you another story. its dark outside. its scary. this story has a happy ending. its just for you. the girl in the picture book has your name but doesnt look like you at all. its written in silver blood. theres an ache that wont leave, a rot that refuses to mend, a scar that wont close, and its all for love
thinking about dirge being the one to drag isobel from her coffin, to bring her back for the sake of sealing a pact that will end the world, going against his entire religion the whole reason for his existence just for the sake of fulfilling his own fathers dreams. children living at the behest of their parents, denied death for their fathers selfish whims. isobel autopsied and opened, layers peeled back. gortash and ketheric never exhumed a body, never prepared it for the grave, never made such an intimate study of death. gortash unwilling to bloody himself unnecessarily, ketheric unwilling to look past the deathmask to see isobels interior, so its dirge, it has to be him, the only one willing to bite down his own desires for the greater good. an unforgivable violation of autonomy, but the only one who thinks of it as such is the scion of the murder god. she cant consent. she cant choose to be apart of this, to sacrifice herself for a cause greater than herself. he has to inflict this upon her. life is suffering and madness and delusion. death is peace, and he is the holy vessel of transition from one state to the other. this? this is blasphemy. she has already fled this horrid blighted world for a better one, and here he is participating in blasphemous ritual. its for the sake of their plan, its for the sake of enacting his fathers dreams (as all children know, you are naught but a vessel to achieve the goals they could not in their time), but she cannot even take glory in the knowledge of her sacrifice, cannot even know she is a sacrifice until its too late to go back. carves open and peels back the picturesque skin, preserved by gloom and arid darkness and sealed stone to keep away the rot. peeling away the mask of Isobel Thorm to see the visceral rotting insides of a person ketheric cant stand to see.
clearing away the ruin and decay so something new can take its place. corpses are objects fled of souls, no longer a person, no longer anything and thus free to toy and play with as boredom and curiosity desires, but this is not a thing. this will again be a person, a vessel to trap someone inside of, to force them to suffer and persist and delude and live and he cant even ask if shell do it. do it to help him break the world and put an end to this madness forever. cant convince her of the rightousness of it, the necessity of it, cant help but use her for it. to gortash she is a token exchanged for power, to ketheric she is a snapshot of a better world he wants to go back to, but only here on this dirty bloodstained table with a bhaalspawn elbow deep in her organs is she a person, whos autonomy and personhood is being irrevocably violated. his nature is to free them of these shackles, to snip the cords and revel in the ensuing destruction, and here he is binding her again. the humiliation, the horror, of being set loose from this hellscape only to be brought back. to be dragged, kicking and screaming, back into living. to be subject to such awful blasphemy. here in the dark and the quiet where there is no voice to speak back to him, when there is no rushing blood or beating hearts to call forth his purpose, there and then does armageddons prophet desire forgiveness, only in this shadowed purgatory can someone truly see. when all the world lies dead at my feet, i will beg forgiveness from no one but you. lamb on the altar, holy blood, if such desecration was not necessary for the cleansing of suffering, i would never deign to subject you to it. to you alone do i tender my apologies, my blessed father may forgive this sin in light of the retribution it will call forth, but cruel fate has chosen you without your knowledge to bear this disgusting violation, and the only salve i can offer is that, gods willing, you will not suffer long. to live in a world that could give rise to something like me is a torture i would not wish upon anyone, and for the sake of my father i inflict it upon you nonetheless. when you rise, my only thoughts will be of murder, holy and pure. but here in the dark, when you are at peace and i am not, i think of you, and what youd want, and how no one would ever, COULD ever, ask for what i do to you here. here in the quiet i breathlessly whisper a prayer meant only for your ears, a second sin i cannot stop myself from committing, here where you cannot hear me but God surely can, a wish that i will surely pay for dearly, a punishment i endure willingly and without complaint, a smallest fraction of the torment i knowingly inflict upon you. i live, and soon so shall you, and for that, i will never know peace.
im so sorry. i did it for love
#bg3 durge#bg3#bg3 dark urge#bg3 isobel#bg3 ketheric#ketheric thorm#isobel thorm#dirgecore#dirgeposting#like just for the record this is my particular durge but AUGHHHHHHH#dirge being the only person who routinely and regularly thinks about isobel as a person instead of as a symbol#dirge who consistently chooses her at every crossroads even when it hurts him#isobel who gets a second chance at life twice over because of him#dirge sacrificing his religious beliefs (literally the ONLY thing he lives for) to participate in bringing isobel back#dirge fighting off the urge (which makes him attack his loved ones!!!) because he refuses to hurt her#dirge making an enemy of shar because he wont let shadowheart become a gods pawn and he wont sacrifice aylin for the conditional love of go#isobel who didnt want to die. didnt know how to live after reviving. getting her life AND a reason to live back because of dirge#who lost everything because of the domino effects of those choices#who got his own second chance because of those choices#like it really is just that quiet moment where neither of them can talk to the other#because shes dead and he isnt#and then they BOTH get new lives free of their fathers because of it#LIKE AUGHHHHHHH IM SO FUCKING NORMALLLL#ITS SEEING EACH OTHER WHEN NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!#in that silent tomb. ''your a person. i see you even if your father doesnt''.#and then AGAIN back to him in last light!!! ''your a person. i see you even if your father doesnt'' LIKE!!!!#ARE YOU PEOPLE SEEING THIS!!!!
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fan jian is such the dad. fan xian doesn't even need other dads when he has fan jian...but these poser dad wannabes keep trying to poach him and fan jian has to show up and be like nice try mister but he's MY kid and i am taking him home in my carriage right now and he is going to filially pour me tea and make all the family decisions. so there.
#fan jian you are legit making me emotional. have you thought about the consequences of your actions (viz. making me emotional)#joy of life#my posts#also fan sizhe calling fan xian ge all the time now...fan xian watching him drive off in the rain and saying don't worry#i'll take care of everything 😭#on another note. ruoruo saying you're my favorite brother because i can always get more didis but you're my only ge#<-girl the ge stan that you are...#fucking lost it at her. she's so funny. but also so touching how she just had complete faith in him that he would look out for her#THE FAN SIBLINGS ARE FUCKING ME UP#sorry this post was supposed to be about fan jian. i forgot about him for a second. congrats on your children sir#fan jian#the dads of fan xian#f
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idk why but the trope where character a changes the routine or something in the daily life of character b and character b complains and gets annoyed at the new addition and then suddenly one day character a gets genuinely upset and stops doing said thing which then makes character b all ☹️wheres the thing i miss the thing but has to pretend they want it back and is only doing it for character a’s sake when we all see its just them being in love or whatever is something i fucking LOVE to see?? every time???
#this is so specific and yet#do u know how many times ive seen this and every time i love it???#its like someone who hates change but is willing to change for someone. their happiness overpowers they uncomfortable feelings and it#suddenly feels as though they have lost something so precious so beautifully character a that they need it back.#girl how many shows do this lets see:#merlin#with merlin’s chatting and smiling and arthur missing it and being audibly upset when its gone#semantic error#when my red man stops fucking with him and he just goes :((((#30 but 17#with everything she does esp with the plant and the home itself and going to work ugh#destined with you#which im currently watching now and up to episode 7 but these bitches are both whipped withojt realizing it#there are 1000 other examples of this and i love every rendition#okay thanks for coming to my ted talk at 5am bye#their uncomfortable * english what is it#tropes
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#lemme get this straight#twitter swifties are apparently now fighting a kc photojournalist because she's upset they take her photos without credit#and remove her watermark from the images#and justify it with 'the watermark is ugly u mad bro'#do i have that right#like... that's the whole fucking point it's her copyright THAT'S HOW THESE THINGS WORK#schools not teaching students about proper credit for sources drives me up the fucking wall in online culture#twitter is the fucking worst everything i hear about it just proves it further#and as someone who has friends and family in the field YOU ABSOLUTELY SHOULD GIVE CREDIT TO THE PHOTOGRAPHER#anyway i'm sure i lost brain cells over this#why are swifties and specifically twitter swifties always trying to find someone to fight#like i'm sure that energy can be better expended elsewhere#are you my mother is arguing what gives you life do you have bpd what is your damage twitter
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