#i feel abysmal
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Been doing laundry for. 6 hours. Still not done. Havent been able to do anything else in meantime. Its like purgatory
#em yaps#i fucking wish i didnt do this. i got so wrapped up in how nice itd be to have it all set and done that i forgot about my physical wellbeing#which is not great#i feel abysmal#and i did this... KNOWING ive felt really bad the last few days#good lord#im like. so not rocking.#dreading going home. dreading passage of time#dreading everything
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it's snowing again!!!!
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His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
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#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#tulu xuanwu#blood#Vomit on his sweater already; mom's spaghetti#I love drawing teenji because he gets to be a lot more expressive than Older Lan Wangji.#wwx is trying so hard to be supportive and it keeps backfiring for lwj.#“There's no way I would ever want you carnally ^_^” meanwhile the guy who wants him carnally is losing his mind in agony.#Hot tip if you keep finding yourself in Lan Zhan's shoes: consider being more obvious. Give up on trying to be subtle with an ADHDer.#His game is SO BAD. Abysmally bad rizz. I do not think it was possible for these to to have a chance to get together in this life.#He has no plan. He has no healthy outlet for his feelings. He is looking at his half naked crush and losing his shot.#F in the chat for Lan Zhan. He's just been accidently rejected and he is about to be accused of being straight.#Meta commentary moment: I am going to try very hard to be more consistent with outfits and details across comics#I have had some...difficulties in the past with forgetting details (COUGH the vermillion mark COUGH)#New year new goals! Wish my ADHD eyes and brain good luck!
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#feel free to use#the “super simple” userbox maker is ABYSMAL#not only is it convoluted as shit for no reason???#but also. you can't fucking save the image. you have to screenshot and crop manually.#and lemme tell you cropping it manually was A BITCH#also there's no option to use a picture. best i could do was a tiny emoji.#bring them home now#bring them home#israeli hostages#hostages#israel#userbox#jumblr#israblr#ישראבלר#ישראלבלר
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I think betty has been self conscious about her hair since she was like 10 and simon is consistently annoying about how pretty her hair is
#petrigrof#simon petrikov#betty grof#adventure time#fionna and cake#atimers#vacation days au#golbetty#i had like abysmally bad fucking rats nest hair as a kid#and i feel like thats just one of those universal weird kid experiences#simon loves that she trusts him enough to have a bad hair day around him ;_;#fluff tag
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Outer Banks s04e08: “It's okay, just breathe.”
#outerbanksedit#whumpedit#obxedit#jj x kiara#jj maybank#kiara carrera#near drowning#rescued#injured#blood#bleeding#pain#semi conscious#heavy breathing#exhaustion#just breathe#support#rudy pankow#madison bailey#my gifs#whump#outer banks spoilers#i appreciate them giving us whumpy season for jj… lovely jj emotional and physical whump <3#yeah the coloring in these gifs is abysmal#i tried lol anwaaaays hoping y’all feel the whumperflies i felt
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The Price of Entertainment: An Episode-By-Episode Analysis of Alastor's Facade
I don’t think any character in Hazbin Hotel has been discussed as much as Alastor, and it’s a testament to how much the writers put in his character that the mystery of his intentions, past, and contract have been so debated on.
There are some takes I vehemently disagree with, but something a lot of people seem to have settled on is that Alastor is, behind his massive ego and cool-headed persona, insecure about his place in Hell after his long “sabbatical.” I want to do an episode-by-episode analysis of Alastor’s behavior and how Season 1 shifts our view of him from an unquestionably powerful Overlord to something with more depth, and while I won’t be speculating on who owns his soul and how he’ll break that contract in those post, I will take a guess at the future of his character in a narrative sense. I will also implicitly be addressing my issues with some of the conclusions others have made, or at least playing devil's advocate.
NOTE: I want to clarify that none of this is meant to depict Alastor as some poor woobie. He’s still awful. He’s in Hell for several reasons and being a serial killer is only one of them. Rather, I want to analyze what is shown to us about him, and how those story beats can be used to determine where he’ll end up by the finale of the series.
ALSO NOTE: I haven’t followed all of VivziePop’s comments outside of the show about the characters, and it’s possible that certain details have been changed between the release of the pilot and the show, so take any mentions of what hasn’t been explicitly depicted within the show with a grain of salt.
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Part 1: Recap Analysis
This section will consist of commentary regarding Alastor's appearance and behavior in the given episodes, with retrospection based on new information given in later episodes if needed.
“Overture”: Alastor is pretty one-to-one with his depiction in the pilot in the first episode. He’s snarky, open about his sadism, but helpful if begrudgingly so. Interestingly, he’s able to put together a well-edited, if tonally awful, commercial, and probably could have done better if he weren’t intentionally being an ass about it. From the finale we know that he and Vox likely used to have a more magnanimous relationship, and it’s likely that he picked up some tools of the digital trade in that time despite or before being turned off completely by it.
“Radio Killed the Video Star”: Vox effectively plays heel for Alastor this episode as we continue that first impression of the Radio Demon. We spend a good time showing off the former’s power and how far his roots have spread throughout Hell’s society, only for Alastor to effortlessly trounce him and steal from his audience, despite being gone for so long and his position in Hell less stable. This indicates that Alastor does still have pull, but at the same time that his position in the hierarchy of Hell is being contested due to the length of his absence. He deals with it easily here, but we’ll see in subsequent episodes that things aren’t as smooth as they first seem.
“Scrambled Eggs”: In terms of the eggs, there’s not much to talk about. He begrudgingly accepts Vaggie’s request to get rid of them “humanely,” but brings them back to the hotel after they prove to be useful spies.
More importantly, we get our first small hint that Alastor’s ego can be bruised when Carmilla doesn’t humor him during the meeting between Overlords. Now, I actually disagree with a lot of the takes on this episode in that I think it indicates that at least some of Alastor’s views and need to prove himself as a powerful Overlord are the result of self-delusion. Yes, he does need to reestablish himself as a person not to be messed with after being gone for so long, but I think it isn’t as bad as some are making it out to be, which makes his behavior in later episodes more strange and excessive if anything.
Carmilla, who mind you is a busy and stressed woman trying to hide the fact that she’s successfully murdered an angel, hits his ego by not caring where he’s been (something he wouldn’t have revealed in the first place), but she also welcomes him back, which is more than you could say to Velvette and by extension the Vees. And minutes before that, Zestial, who’s probably the highest on their totem pole, does go out of his way to meet with Alastor and inquire about where he’s been. Alastor himself gets over the slight pretty quickly and has no issue contributing to the meeting. Overall, he isn’t necessarily terrifying other overlords, but he still has an established place with them and they do seem to get along well enough. He’s “part of the group” unlike the Vees, who are treated more like upstart outsiders.
I also want to point out that despite Zestial likely outranking Alastor in power, they seem to be alright with each other. Alastor is cordial and does not demonstrate a desire to antagonize him like he does Lucifer in the next episode. Speaking of which…
“Dad Beat Dad”: This episode gives us a lot to chew on and is the first major indicator that Alastor’s issues go beyond wanting to be the center of the room. From the very moment Lucifer walks into the hotel*, his eye is twitching and he is visibly pissed. Lucifer undermining him (notably contrasting Zestial, who is polite despite his power) doesn’t help and makes Alastor let loose his first swear in the entire show. Being the petty bitch he is, Alastor, knowing he can’t intimidate Lucifer in any way, immediately goes for his weak point–Charlie–and plays up the role of a caretaker for her and the hotel. It’s a low blow, but it also feels like a defense–he’s signaling to Lucifer that this is his hotel, that things are taken care of already, and that they do not need his assistance, even though they ultimately do in order to get a meeting with Heaven.
But then things get more complicated with the appearance of Mimzy, who, to the surprise of several characters due to his solitary nature, was friends with Alastor all the way back when they were alive, and she carries a load of implications with her. She’s the only crack so far at what a “human” Alastor is like–apparently he’s a heavyweight drinker, a good dancer, and most notably, in Mimzy’s words, a sweet man who "becomes a kitten" when he's drunk. This is a huge departure from the unflappable, egotistical Radio Demon we’ve known up to now, and I think it’s a purposeful choice that we’re hearing this information but not shown it like his early days in Hell just prior. It’s simultaneously left to the imagination but difficult to do so because it contrasts so heavily with everything that has been shown to us beforehand. Another thing is that Mimzy is sure that Alastor will clean up her mess–and apparently this isn’t the first time he has, if Husk is anything to go by. So many people seem to miss this, but Alastor, who hates being tied down or disrespected, has been allowing Mimzy to leech off of him, presumably due to their past friendship making him turn a blind eye.
Alastor is on edge for this entire episode and is already unusually snappy when Husk addresses Mimzy, and pushing the button that was his contract is what sends him over the edge. His temper exploding is a direct result of his feeling that his control over both the hotel (via Lucifer) and his personal life (via Husk’s “doubt” that he can handle everything and that his reputation is what it used to be, plus the reminder of his deal) is being taken away from him. Alastor’s threat to Husk, which seems to not be his usual behavior if Husk’s willingness to show concern and talk back in the first place is anything to go by, is an attempt to remind both of them that he holds the cards, that he’s a powerful Overlord that is not to be trifled with, and he explicitly says as much when he goes out to deal with what Mimzy’s dragged in.
It’s only after he lets his anger out on the mobsters and “proves himself” that he visibly calms down and makes the logical decision to tell Mimzy to leave with a serious attitude, and also doesn’t antagonize anyone for the rest of the episode. It seems like despite his fury earlier, he was listening to Husk, who’s rightfully smug about it. He’s even present when Charlie declares her desire to protect her people, and his smile seems just a tad bit more genuine.
*Note: it’s not impossible that Alastor has some sort of personal grudge against Lucifer which caused his hate-on-first-sight, depending on the circumstances of his disappearance and contract (i.e. if it’s with Lilith).
“Hello Rosie!”: As opposed to Dad Beat Dad, Hello Rosie is arguably where we see Alastor at his most in-his-element. He gives off a lot of conflicting vibes at the beginning, from mocking Charlie’s distress to, in a shockingly honest moment, lecturing her about the importance of a smile to portray strength, a card we’d only been shown due to comments outside of the show. He smugly holds his knowledge over Charlie’s head but is visibly impatient to have her make a blank check of a deal with him, solid enough to benefit him but vague enough so that Charlie won’t feel immediately threatened. He’s clearly been waiting for an opportunity like this since the events of the pilot.
After that, he puts back on his gentleman’s demeanor and introduces Charlie to Rosie, and from here on he’s arguably at his most comfortable in the entire show. He’s relaxed around Rosie and is actually willing to ask for her help (something I can’t see him doing with any other character), casually complains about Susan, is encouraging to and praises Charlie even behind her back, and most notably, gives her his radio cane unprompted. More on that later. He also mentioned wanting to guide Charlie to Rosie specifically, implying that he was being genuine about wanting to act as a mentor to her, though his intentions are probably self-beneficial.
“The Show Must Go On”: The finale is arguably the most revealing episode on what Alastor’s inner world is like, as we see him unmasked several times. For one, his private admission to Niffty, the closest thing he has to a friend within the hotel, that he’s enjoyed watching the other residents connect to each other. This is in direct opposition to his initial (stated) reason for helping the hotel in that he wanted to watch them all fail, and yet he seems content with his initial assumptions being proven wrong. There’s no malice or sarcasm in this moment, he’s relaxed and talking to someone he relatively trusts.
And so he goes into the battle swinging and confident. Then, of course, Adam.
I want to bring up something before we keep going. Yes, fighting Adam without angelic weaponry was a needless risk. Yes, Alastor fell victim to the very sloppiness and arrogance he accused Adam of, and it’s thematically appropriate that he was the only one to lose his battle in that he was fighting for his own ego more than “love.” But also, people seem to forget that Alastor is the only demon in the entire show with a precedent for permakilling without an explicit reliance on angelic weaponry, as the Overlords he toppled in his original rampage seem to have never returned. He’s egotistical, but not stupid. He may have genuinely believed that he had the means to kill Adam himself but didn’t get the chance/couldn’t due to his contract or absence possibly weakening him. But that's speculation for another day.
So, he has to retreat before Adam double-taps his ass and is too injured to return until after the extermination. He makes a grand exit, but not before grabbing the broken pieces of his radio cane. The one he allowed Charlie to use just an episode prior, and presumably is a conduit for his powers, and he grabs it while a murderous angel is inches away from wiping him off the face of Hell.
His portion of “Finale” is the first time we see him singing alone and not playing off someone in a duet. It’s obvious that he’s trying to keep his composure, still speaking to himself in his artificial transatlantic accent (which we now know for a fact he doesn't need to do, seeing as he finally broke character when Adam wrecked his cane) and reassuring himself that he’ll come out on top next time. But here his front shatters and we openly see what the show has been hinting he is for the first time: a deeply paranoid, desperate, and unstable man.
Essentially the worst-case scenario has happened: after a season of interfering with every attempt to capture him on camera, Vox has footage of him at his lowest point for all of Hell to see, and he’ll have “died” a martyr, a weakling, and still in the chains of an unwanted contract. For Alastor, who is so deeply afraid of showing any sign of vulnerability, who wants to be seen as a monstrous Overlord, it’s understandable that this humiliation is enough to send him into a mental spiral and recant any fondness for the hotel in favor of accomplishing his own goals. Worse yet, when we next see him he gives zero indication of any of this even when Charlie and company are simply glad that he's alive, which leaves us to wonder: has he been like this behind the smile from the very beginning?
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Part 2: Closing Thoughts and Future Speculation
With everything we’ve taken note of above, we can start to piece together a picture of who this guy is, and what the writers are going to do with him.
Alastor is sentimental. It’s not just his attachment to older technology or his love for being the center of everyone's attention. He likes being around people, he has friends, one of which he continuously indulged despite her using him multiple times, and he ultimately was starting to enjoy his time at the hotel before his defeat spooked him. Despite him using her, the fact that he was even willing to let Charlie use his cane (and note that he takes it from her as soon as she’s given a substitute, so that is a significant gesture for him) is an implicit display of trust whose implications don’t become apparent until the finale.
But this is paired with deep insecurity. Alastor, despite being one of the most powerful people in the Pride Ring, has a crippling fear of being seen as vulnerable or “lesser” by others. There could be multiple overlapping reasons for this: the general climate of Hell, whatever happened to him seven years ago, his experiences as a mixed-race human living in Prohibition-era Louisiana, his original death, a natural predisposition, etc.
Regardless, this anxiety of his is so overwhelming that, when paired with the ever-present stress of not owning his own soul, it’s driving him insane. He made a splash in Hell upon entry and now he’s desperately trying to reinvoke that in order to defend himself both physically and mentally. He’s the gifted kid who’s slowly going nuts trying to keep up an impossible momentum as they grow older. He’s an ex-human denying his humanity because he doesn’t want to feel human. Everyone’s out to get him, and anyone who could be an enemy is an enemy unless he has total control over them via a contract, power, or the reassurance of years of close friendship. It’s why he’s cordial to Zestial but takes Carmilla (who wasn't even trying to spite him) and Lucifer’s comments personally, in the same way someone with low self-esteem might want to lash out against an authority figure who they feel is looking down on them.
Worse yet, he can’t/won’t let these feelings out and is bottling them up so that no one will know he feels this way (note how quickly he was able to relax in Dad Beat Dad when he was given an outlet for his stress), because that’s a sign of weakness too. It’s honestly kind of frightening that in his final scene he gives zero indication of being injured or of just having had a meltdown. By all outside accounts, he’s his usual chipper self, and no one at the hotel save for maybe Husk, who can’t say anything Alastor doesn’t want him to, would realize anything is amiss. The reason his part of “Finale” is chilling isn’t just because of the implications that he will become an antagonist in the future–it’s that his mental state is so poor that he is no longer acting rationally, which makes him unpredictable in the worst possible way.
I think Alastor’s character arc isn’t going to be redemption by way of going to Heaven, I don't think that place is his style anyway, but rather redemption of his own self-image. I don’t think the writers would make what is arguably the most popular and well-developed character in the show just to say that he’s hopelessly evil and simply end it at that. We’ve been exposed to multiple facets of his character, and while his deeds and probably his intentions are sinister, his underlying motivation for it all seems to be “freedom,” which decidedly isn’t (unless your name is Eren Jaeger).
I do believe that he’ll have his villain moment where he indulges in his worst impulses, but that ultimately it won’t do anything to fulfill him, because as we see in the official comics before the release of the show (which may no longer be canon but still give a viable “baseline” for the characters), when his desire to be feared and respected is granted, it only isolates him. Like the others, he’ll have to hit rock bottom before he can climb back up.
Pentious, who was successfully redeemed, needed to understand that people weren’t out to get him, which allowed him to make the decision to put his friends before himself and trigger his selfless sacrifice. Angel, who’s well on his way to redemption, needed to realize he wasn’t alone and could rely on others, and his confidence and self-love has grown enormously since then. I think these are both lessons Alastor will need to learn eventually as well. He’s the manager of the hotel, but also undoubtedly a patient. He’s hungry for freedom, but only when he learns these lessons will he be truly free.
Or maybe I’m thinking too much into it idk lmaooooo
#hazbin hotel#hazbin theory#hazbin hotel theory#hazbin analysis#zestial morde#carmilla carmine#lucifer morningstar#hazbin lucifer#charlie morningstar#hazbin hotel rosie#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor#thank god i finally released this now i never have to think about this show again#that tragic feeling when the tumblr sexyman bait is the best character in the show#alastor does not have a blanket hatred for everyone who's more powerful than he is#if he did then he'd despise charlie too and genuinely doesn't seem to#rather it's towards ANYONE whether stronger or weaker than him who refuse to acknowledge him#oooooooh this boy's got a complex but he's a VivsiePop character so it's par for the course#but anyway some of the takes people have made on him are abysmal to me so i wrote my first tumblr post in a decade
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fun fact: i loooooove love love kuroo tetsuro ෆ
#good morning friendz#i’m going to be up in the air shortly and the yearning is abysmal#worse than usual bc i’m Sensitive™️#and i feel like i need a hug from him yk#seeing all these business men commuting this morning in their suits makes me think of him (bye)#wanna travel with tetsu ):#going to listen to my kuromy playlist and hopefully write (unless i zonk out)#there’s no wifi on this flight sigh sigh so have an amazing day#LOVE YA !#can’t wait to be homeeeee tho ^_^#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims#ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ — ✩ daily yap.
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Alright, that's enough. I need everyone to be normal about Tonkla right the fuck now.
The takes I've seen about that man have made me lose my mind, to the point where I'm wondering if I've been watching the same show as everyone else. From him spreading diseases to his partners to him faking his grief and doing everything he does for attention, I've been quite perplexed while exploring the show's tags on here and on Twitter to say the least.
Guys. I've said it before and I'll say it again. Tonkla is NOT a difficult character to understand. Korn is arguably more of an inscrutable character than him.
Tonkla has been grieving since we first met him; at first his relationship with Korn that's changed to the point of no return and later his brother who got murdered.
That's it. I don't know why we're demonizing a man who 1) likes having sex and 2) is using sex to get the affection - affection, not attention - he seeks from the man whom he loves and from the man who loves him but Tonkla doesn't.
(I know why and I'll rant in the tags about it 🙂)
And while we're on the subject, I need everyone to be normal about Fuaiz, too, because the takes about his taking this role are even worse. People calling what BOC did by casting him grooming, calling the fans groomers and pedophiles, and so on and so forth.
Are you serious? Are you for real?
Fuaiz played White in DFF who was crying and being in distress 90% of the time, a show which included a scene where he pretended to get stabbed and where he got shaken by Jjay who was screaming to his face. I watched the BTS clip of that - the kid needed a moment to calm down from that experience.
Do you care about that in the same way or is it only a problem when he's pretending to get fucked on screen in a secluded, safe environment with a fucking Intimacy Director involved?
I can totally understand feeling uncomfortable about his age or about the age gap between him and Bas. I'm not judging anyone for that. But there's a difference between feeling discomfort and turning that discomfort into a morality issue. Please stop doing that.
#about Tonkla: do people not realize how they sound when they scrutinize a promiscuous character who likes sex and also uses it to cope?#when they're accusing him of faking everything in order to get attention?#when they say he's spreading fucking DISEASES?#because I can tell you folks. that's fucking homophobic#and I need people to examine their internal biases because this is getting ridiculous#I thought DFF had abysmal takes but somehow 4 Minutes has worse ones#(the reason is the added sex scenes in case you were curious)#God forbid a twink likes getting fucked raw and also uses it to feel sth other than grief for a little while#the horror!#As for Fuaiz I've said my piece#I'm tired of people finding every excuse in the book to demonize BOC#just drop it if you don't enjoy the show Jesus Christ#4 minutes#tonkla 4 minutes#fuaiz thanawat#be on cloud
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nevermore textpost (just one)
because I must torment my mutuals further. and turns out sharing a name with a character (Bee (me) and Bee (Nevermore)) makes it a lot easier to decide who they'll be!
#The quality of this compared to the others is ABYSMAL. But it was taking like ten minutes each to erase the backgrounds#Was not spending hours on it if possible#I still have several other things to do#Tylenol post#Bee makes things#Nevermore#Nevermore webtoon#Fambles#pharmaceutical reckoning#Nevermore webcomic#Nevermore textposts#Also ran outta Bee pictures on Pinterest had to reuse one :( feel bad for her she didn't get one pic a piece treatment like everyone else
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🍷 Kirbtober 2024 Day 22: Ship or Hangout 🍷
(ID: Kirby series fanart of Daroach and Dark Meta Knight overindulging on “fancy grape juice” together, their faces brightly flushed from the several bottles standing empty around them. The thief sits with a glass held loosely in one paw, laughing and resting the other paw on the unmasked knight’s head as he lays sprawled over Daroach’s torso, disgruntled but not particularly inclined to move, his wing lazily draped over them both. END ID.)
“Ha! Who's the *hic* lightweight now, sunshine?”
“Mmrrghshuddup. Smartass rat with your stupid pretty mouth stupid mmghngh..."
Previous Day | Next Day | Prompt List (made by @/paintpanic)
Started on 10/02/24, finished on 10/03/24. | Kirbtober 2023 Comp
#veins art#veins fanart#veins ships#kirby series#kirby#daroach#dark meta knight#dark meta knight x daroach#darkroach#kirbtober#kirbtober 2024#day 22#ship or hangout#paintpanic#I. Have been thinking about this prompt. For *weeks*#the posing was a bit of a struggle - always is when it comes to putting Orb and Rat together - but we got there in the end#aaa I'm so happy with how it came out! just look at them! my awful crime boys! 💜#you know they must've raided the royal wine cellar for these#DMK generally prefers something stronger (and way less sweet) but these are dry enough that he doesn’t mind too much#Daroach’s infectious enthusiasm certainly helps#RIP these two and the abysmal hangovers they're gonna wake up with in the morning haha#also here me out - Daroach being a clingy drunk and a social drinker feels like it makes sense right? ... but what if also DMK? 👀#that's the galaxy brain pull if you ask me#alcohol tw#veinsfullofstars
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random throwback to fabio's response to casey saying he should've been black flagged for the whole open leathers situation
#'he is at home and he likes to fish' is truly superb#//#brr brr#heretic tag#current tag#i was reminded of this in a very roundabout way... seeing a social media graphic celebrating fabio making q2#which is like. yes that's nice. but that's also inherently extremely depressing lbr#and i was kinda thinking how... look obviously people don't ignore it and yes the novelty has worn off after last year#but it feels like what's happened to fabio should STILL be getting more attention than it is. like it is a major injustice#that also no past stars of the sport are regularly having hot takes about! they mostly just ignore him!#i do sometimes link casey and fabio in my head. roughly the same age gap to the all-time-great hazing them during their rookie seasons#the only riders within their manufacturers able to wring performance out of their bikes over the course of several seasons#who suffered a competitive decline as their manufacturers went the wrong way#now obviously casey's 2010 is nowhere close to as abysmal as fabio's 2024 but. y'know. and at least casey got to leave for pastures greener#anyway given all that. it is funny that like their one significant interaction is fabio dismissing casey as a fisher#which ironically is of course a deeply casey line. casey had a whole thing about how retired riders should maybe know to stfu#“i have seen the real face of some with whom i had a good relationship” EXTREMELY casey line#and thus the cycle of life continues#(though casey was obviously right here lol)#ofc the main difference between the pair of them is that fabio at heart is a lover and casey is. not that
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scanned some pages from a few of my sketchbooks from this year and made a little pdf
you can get it free on kofi!
#the art of a lemon wedge#youve probably already seen most these pages but this time its actually scanned and not just a shitty photo from my phone lol#i was feeling a little down since this i hadnt drawn as much this year#at least not as many finished pieces to post#cause my hand was too fucked to use my computer at the beginning of the year#and the lose of my friend in the middle of the year#my mental health has been ABYSMAL#and yet#ive used my physical sketchbook when i could#and i DID want to continue putting together pdfs every year#so as a little reminder to myself#HERE I AM BABY
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hearts and their consumption 🤍✨🪐
day 5, fantasy | howl's moving castle paro
⬇️ extras + explanation below
i literally needed to explain my casting bc it seems so obvious for howlkechi but i chose akira as howl for personal reasons...(COUGHS sharesthesamepersonalitytypeasbothhowlandjoker COUGHS)
#shuake#goro akechi#akira kurusu#persona 5#shuakeweek2023#my art#ren amamiya#sorry for the abysmal casting but this is my truth ☝️#well#movie howl at least#i feel like book howl is a hot mess and way more conceited#is that goro? idk i havent actually read it yet so#what matters is that i had fun :D hope u guys enjoy#this idea has been rattling in my brain sinch MARCH
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everyone has full right to clown on the old website because i swear i hate it as much as everyone else. i swear. looking back at it, as i work on the new site now, i'm realizing functionality-wise and interface-wise and basically on every level it's borderline unusable. and jesus i'm so fucking sorry how could i make anyone go through this /SILLY /SILLY /SILLY /THIS IS LH
#text#despite posting the comic for several years i dont think ive ever tried to actually read through the comic by myself and the functionality-#is abysmal. its horrific. i cannot blame anyone who said they didnt wanna read the comic bc the site was too hard to use.#I AM SAVING ALL OF US. I SWEAR. READING THE COMIC WILL NO LONGER FEEL LIKE BEING TORTURED IN A DUNGEON. I SWEAR IM SAVING US. I SWEAR!!!!!!#site revamp devlog
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let's make trouble in the dream world, we'll hijack heaven with another memory now; i make the most of the turning tide, it just split what's left of the burning silence
#tw scopophobia#tw trypophobia#tw paranoia#he kinda looks like doug rattman here#this post was brought to you by some (supposedly nice) photos of me i know exist but i dont want to see.#because i do not believe in my image.#i'd love to make the straight forward complaint of “i am tired of feeling [x]” but it's not that simple when it's all you know#yeah yeah yeah hell on earth true but i know what will become of me if i give into expectation#this is why i break it down to science and observation. sometimes i find solace in the inevitable isolation (sometimes i dont)#“it's not endearing” it sure isn't. but i have a lot more to navigate than making it palatable for you.#and arent i doing what you ask? i dont understand if you have your qualms with this.#do you read this abysmally? dont you see the hope behind it? acknowledging the dark means noting the light too.#“forever” yes but also “always.”#/vaguepost /neu /nbh#anyways making this made me feel better. so feel comfort in the horror. hurrah. off to work.#soul eater#soul eater fanart#my art#franken stein#stein#soul eater stein
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