#but holy wow once you learn HOW BAD they are for the environment and the agricultural industry

[fairandfatalasfair]

I should honestly probably just block the deer population map / rat population map post, because every time I see it I end up scrolling through the notes, which every single time consist of equal parts:

people from Aotearoa and Australia pointing out that they do too have deer, they're just invasive and a huge problem

people from Alberta confirming that yes, Alberta really is rat free (in the sense of having no endemic breeding rat population.)

people not from Alberta acting like this is wildly implausible when four seconds on google could confirm it and/or crying about how mean it is, as though rats aren't the second most damaging invasive species worldwide, having driven literally thousands of native species to extinction.

I don't mind the first two groups, but the third I have to restrain myself from picking arguments with.

[59writes]

SEVENTEEN- SCENARIO: HAVING AN ALT PARTNER (PERFORMANCE UNIT)

VOCAL • HIP HOP • PERFORMANCE

Last but most definitely not least, the boys with the moves 🙌🙌

again! don’t be shy, feel free to reach out or request!! I’d love to have some anon buddies lol. I promise I’m nice haha!!

also hi Jun’s is about kandi I had to self indulge a little lol (which is why it’s so long omg) I make kandi and it’s literally the best pastime and the culture around it is super cool too so I had to add it in haha!!

🌈🌈🌈!!!PLUR!!! 🌈🌈🌈

tw: food maybe (?)

JUN

• you guys met on complete accident

• he was walking to the company, you on your way home

• and he bumps into you and one of your bracelets hooks onto his bag and it snaps

• you’re both shocked by the sound, watching the beads bounce into the street while people shoved past you both, glaring at you both for blocking the way

• and even though Junhui is late he stoops down to pick up the beads

• you stop him quickly

• “don’t worry, I have more beads at home”

• and he’s like “wait woah you made this” because it’s intricate and pretty and a little pixel art cat that he accidentally ruined ):

• but he feels so bad, and wants to pay you back somehow cuz the bracelets are so cute and he broke one!!! he cannot get over it!!!

• even when you assure him it’s fine he looks so concerned you have to give in

• so you give him your number, telling him to text you when he can and you can work something out

• and at the company he considers it all day

• he, an idol, just got a number from someone on the street. all because he messed up and then insisted to be in your life

• was this a good idea?

• Seungcheol hears about it eventually, and says to give it a chance

• “your friends are in another country, Jun. make some here too. plus you’re stressed, and it’s probably best to get any weight off your shoulders you can.”

• and so he texts you

• and plan to go to a cat cafe (his treat) on his next day off

• when he walks into the cafe you greet him with a beaming smile

• “I have a gift for you.” You grin, pulling something out of your bag

• and like, Jun almost disagrees, like “no I’m supposed to be apologizing to you” but then be sees what you’re offering

• a little cat bracelet just like the one he broke the other day

• he reaches out for it but you shake your head

• “there’s a special way to do it, here.”

• you give him a rundown on the style of bracelet, called kandi

• and you explain they’re meant to be traded

• “and there’s a secret handshake to trade with, ok? just do what I do.”

• peace, love, unity…

• and he’s suddenly holding your hand

• you slip the bracelet onto his wrist before letting go, grinning as he examines his new accessory

• “I’m y/n, by the way.”

• “Junhui.”

• you chat and play with the cats that come to visit your table

• you take off one of your kandi rings at one point and gently loop it around one of the kittens’ paws

• Jun hasn’t had this much fun in a while, much less been in such a positive environment

• as you were bright and cheery as you made kissy noises at the cats to offer them snacks

• always had something new to say or observe

• and when it was time to leave he really didn’t want to go

• you don’t either, but you have an appointment you can’t miss

• so you promise to do it again soon, giving Jun a quick hug and a wave before dashing off

• Jun can’t keep his eyes off the bracelet as he goes back to the company, running his fingers along the peyote weave

• he spends the rest of the night reading about kandi and kandi kid culture

• and everyone involved is so happy, and their bracelets?? like holy shit.

• he thought yours was good but some of these people had massive and intricate kandi

• the next time you meet, he asks if you can teach him how to make kandi

• and your face lights up!!

• the next few meetups he learns, little by little

• passing the bracelet to you if he can’t get part of it right

• and he just keeps getting surprised by your patience when you have to undo rows, your bubbly spirit calming a bit as you focus on a pattern

• and one day you invite him to a rave

• and yo he’s so nervous ??? but he wants to go so bad ???

• you promise him you guys can leave it early, because eventually you get overwhelmed too

• so he agrees

• you meet at your apartment, Jun shy as you flit around and drape him with more kandi

• you ask him to sit still as you paint a tiny design on his face in UV paint, hand resting on his jaw to keep him still

• and when you gleefully spin him around to look at himself in the mirror he’s just. wow.

• a line of heart stickers on his cheek, a necklace made from kid toys draped around his neck, and of course, endless bracelets

• this was so cool.

• the rave was even better.

• Jun got used to the flashing lights and eccentric music very quickly, mostly following behind as you greeted people and traded bracelets

• and then you turn and pull him out to the dance floor

• and that shit is like a fever dream.

• adrenaline, glitter, and neon lights fill your veins as you both dance for hours

• eventually too tired to keep up, you fall into Jun’s arms, laughing

• and he’s grinning too (:

• you leave shortly after that, walking home in the dark

• you stop to sit at a park bench, and Jun says he has a surprise

• he holds out his hand

• peace, love, unity, respect

• and slips a bracelet onto your arm

• he did it completely himself, as you’d never seen the design before

• it’s of a cat with a rainbow tail, along with his name spelled out in pixels

• and you look up at Jun, whose eyes are filled with anticipation

• and you give him a huge hug

• and he thanks you for showing him this diverse underground world full of color in the night; a way to break out of his shell a little

• and damn I guess you can’t help but hold back an “I love you”

• and he feels the glitter surge back into his veins

• and the feeling never leaves again (:

HOSHI

• Soonyoung always thought photographers were more likely to stay out of the lens’ view, but you proved him wrong

• when you introduced yourself as his photographer for the magazine shoot you were working on, he couldn’t help but feel like you should be in front of the camera, not him

• like holy shit. the beads and chains that engulfed your arm and shimmered in the dim lights. the clips nestled in your hair that were shaped like cartoon spiders. the patches for bands he’d never heard of on every square inch of your camera bag.

• he’s polite and energetic the whole shoot, and to be honest maybe you take a little longer than usual to line up closeups of his face

• after all he deserves the best photos (:

• once you’re finished you agree to meet again at Pledis the next day, just to review the photos

• and Soonyoung spends the whole night hyping himself up lol

• you look just as cool as the day before, if not better, and he manages to compliment you without a problem (practice pays off!!)

• he wants to see more of your photos, and you offer him a ticket to a portfolio viewing you’re having

• he shows up without telling you, taking his time to walk through the gallery and examine each photo

• and they’re so dynamic, perfectly balanced, mysterious. he can’t help but get lost in each one, not even noticing you staring at him

• you, heart warm from his wonder and genuine interest

• he was soon a common subject and reviewer of your photography

• and you were soon a common staple of his, Soonyoung trying to be with you at every opportunity

• he invites you over for movie nights with the other guys

• if you show up in your usual outfits he whines about how you’re all pokey and he can’t lay on your arm without getting stabbed ):<

• luckily you own soft sweatshirts that still look super cool so it’s a win/win

• he’s so adoring of everything you do omg

• every interest of yours is now his interest too

• and he’ll always be by your side, curious and wide-eyed, always ready for the next adventure with you

• whether it be through clothes, or photos, or even just the park

• you’re what makes it special (:

MINGHAO

• dude. he’d lose his shit in the best way possible.

• have you seen this man??? his sense of style??? he’d be drooling in seconds lol

• you’d catch him watching you as you intern at Pledis, sketching up scenes in the corner

• finishing your degree required film to turn in, and you managed to snag an internship with the production crew for Seventeen

• a successful music video for a major group would definitely save your grade lol

• every dance practice, you’d be in the corner, wedged against the mirrors, huddled over your sketchbook as you designed

• and of course you watched them dance, you had to encapsulate the emotion somehow

• during a water break, one of the members plops down next to you and introduces himself as Minghao

• his hair is damp with sweat, sleeveless shirt clinging to his chest

• and he asks to see your ideas

• the concept is focused on the ideas of identity, and your current plan was sketches of each member as the background

• you could animate them slowly turning into each member, and you explain the idea to Minghao as he very gently flips through the pages, fingers hardly touching the pages

• he lingers on his own page

• “you didn’t sketch anyone else’s face this detailed.”

• “you’re pretty.” You say simply, reaching for the book back

• he grins at his lap.

• he sits next to you every day now, always eager to see your designs

• but more often he wants to see your other works

• and when you tell him you and your friends made most of your clothes he’s dumbstruck

• “can you make some for me?”

• you laugh and he apologizes for being so straightforward

• but the next day you bring in a trench coat you’ve been illustrating

• cutting diamonds into the sleeves and lining them with neon thread

• the half-finished painting on the back your friend started working on

• and as you proudly explain the coat’s background Minghao can’t help but want to join in too

• the way your face lights up when you speak about it, how gently you fold the fabric, how you adjust the collar on him so it looks just right

• eventually you begin to hang out outside of the company

• and you take him to craft stores when you need supplies or new clothes to ruin

• and he has such a good eye oh my god

• and his long fingers pick up sewing so easily

• and many hours are spent on your apartment floor quietly snipping, painting, lacing

• minghao wears his clothes with pride, especially the ones you make for him

• you go out one day, both of you completely dressed in your own designs

• and Minghao has never felt this beautiful before

• and when he sees your outfit he can’t help but wrap you in a huge hug

• he’s proud: of himself, of you, of the creativity and passion and hours put into these clothes

• and he admits he’d like to keep that feeling around a lot more

• and so your time in the city becomes a date

• and behind the music video sets becomes a spot to hide and snuggle

• you still sketch him sometimes

• when he doesn’t notice

• when he’s too focused on choreo, or reading a book, or laughing at the other boys goofing around

• because you’re proud of him, too

• and when he sheepishly admits he’s been doing the same, pushing over his own sketchbooks filled with endless drawings, improving page by page

• you know he’s your other half.

DINO

• Dude he’d be so flustered

• he straight up would just. not know what to say and would probably be defensive whenever you talk to him so he might come off as rude ):

• it would take time for him to warm up to you

• but when he does it’s clear he can’t get you out of his head

• as a choreographer, you had to spend a lot of time with the performance line

• and in this case, specifically Chan, as he has a solo

• and just seeing you look so damn rad even when you’re slowly walking him through potential choreo,,,, homeboy is gonna break down and try and defend himself

• the first few days are awkward because he’s drawn back and a little hostile

• but you force him to get lunch with you after a particularly rough morning, just to try to have a better relationship

• you guys didn’t finish the choreo that afternoon, choosing to sit on the studio floor and talk

• the next day he’s still quiet, but shyly rather than defensively

• and he can’t seem to get his arms right, and you have to go over there and straighten his arms for him, rings digging into his biceps

• and even though he tries to hide his grin you know it’s what he wanted

• eventually your job is done and you’re ready to head to the next performer, or go plan choreo for another group

• and Chan shuffles up and even though his cheeks are red he manages to ask you out

• and how could you say no?

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Yesterday's Lie" from The Owl House

Salutations, random people on the internet who absolutely won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

Here it is! The midseason finale of The Owl House Season Two! An episode featuring Luz going back to the human realm, is hyped up to heaven about how painful it'll be for the audience, and features more anxiety by how Creepy Luz is a thing. And BOOOOOOOOY howdy were fans not ready for this. I'm sure as hell not ready for when I wrote this intro at *checks time* thirty minutes before watching the official premier. Yup, the words you're reading right now are from me in the past, when everything was still pure and simple. Whereas future me is still probably destroyed by the events that transpired. Isn't that right, future me?

Future Me: Actually, it wasn’t that bad. The ending hurt, sure, but other than that, it wasn’t too painful.

Wow, that is some neat input! At least, I think it was. I wouldn't know because I literally wrote that after watching the episode. With the words you're currently reading being written at *checks time* twenty-six minutes before the premier...this whole intro is confusing, isn't it, future me?

Future Me: Sure is.

Yeah, it's definitely confusing. In any case, let's dive into this spoiler-filled review as we find out together just how painful this episode was! Take it away, future me!

Future Me: Will do! Major spoilers ahead, folks!

Now, let’s review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Luz’s Room: We only see it for a short time, but everything about it just screams Luz. The pile of weird-looking stuffed animals, the witch hat in the center of the floor, and the fact that she has bunk beds, a single child's dream (Or so I've heard). It's a small thing, but I love it.

Vee: Here she is! The character previously dubbed Creepy Luz who now turns out to be yet another new addition to the ever-growing list of characters that we, as a fandom, would give our lives for. Because holy s**t was Vee the best type of expectation subversion. Showing us all the ominous ways of how she basically took Luz's place made fans assume that Vee was an evil doppelganger. Turns out, she was just a tortured soul that was desperate to live a new and better life and lucked out in finding Luz's. What Vee does is...questionable at best, but seeing what she went through with the experiments Belos pulled on her, you understand why she would do it. And I personally love it's that same background information that makes Vee resentful of Luz of all people. Luz's life is a relative dream come true, and running away from that would be insane to someone who spent most of their existence through imprisonment and experimentation. It's an intriguing point of view, even though it's admittingly flawed given how it's mostly Camila that seemingly made Luz's life bearable. But the flaws don't matter. What matters is that you can see where Vee is coming from, and to me, personally, I think she's understandable enough to make me root for her to have some kind of happy ending. Whether as Luz or as herself, I'm hopeful to see Vee get some semblance of peace.

Camila: *Round of applause* Don't mind me! Just taking the time to love how all them sons of b**hes who thought Camila was a bad mom are now heavily invalidated. 'Cause, guess what? Camila is a fantastic mother, both to her daughter and her daughter's doppelganger! Allow me to walk you through the highlights:

How Camila looks like she’s not okay with the fact that "Luz" is clearing out her weird stuff, seemingly acting too different to the Luz she knows. Added to the fact that Camila doesn't like it.

How Camila drove Luz to camp whether than letting her take the bus

The fact that Camila takes that box of junk back in, not willing to part with the tin foil sculpture Luz made.

The way she was willing to play along with the game she thought Luz was doing, supporting her daughter's creative mind that Camila admits to being glad to see.

And, best of all, the willingness Camila had to help this poor creature, despite the lies it lived.

It's that last part I really want to touch upon, though. Because an action like that shows just how much Luz's heart comes from Camila. The kindness and generosity of helping this poor creature, who she has every right to run out on, proves how Luz learned to be everything she is today through Camila's own loving heart. Vee was scared and hurt, and the second Camila saw that she was then more than willing to help because of it. It's something that Luz would do, and it proves that even though Camila didn't exactly get everything right, she's still a great mom where it counts.

“A new life”: A perfect line.

Initially, it makes audiences think that it has everything to do with replacing Luz. It's only through future context that we know it's about escaping the s**t show Vee once lived through that it's clear she's talking about starting over. It hits us with intrigue on the first viewing, only to hit harder with the feels during a second. Really well-done.

Luz in the Mirror: A well-done surprise that makes fans curious about how this even happen in the first place. Kudos to you, writers.

The New Portal: I don't mind that they found a way to build this off-screen. Showing Luz and the gang slowly building a new portal would have been a little too tedious to watch, and it's so much better to just start this episode out with it. Besides, maybe we'll get the slow and steadier version now that we've seen how quickly building one might not have been the best way to go, given how fast that thing fell apart.

Luz Between Dimensions: I have no clue what the hell that place she was in is called, but it's awesome! The overall design of the realm is the correct type of unsettling, like it's oozing with mystery, but it's somewhere that you probably don't want to be in for too long. Whoever designed it deserves all of the credit because I don't want to even think about all the hard work that went into making this look as well-made as it was.

Luz Resisting to See Amity: What? Luz and Amity are adorable, and seeing Luz's immediate thought about seeing Amity makes my shipping heart scream with glee. Don't judge me!

Hiding Luz’s Dad’s Face: Well, that was a fun story while it lasted.

So, it turns out that Luz's dad really was a part of Luz's and Camila's life at some point, but not anymore. As for why remains to be seen, as we don't really know yet if we'll see him make an appearance. I'd say that the odds are high that he will, given how much of a point this episode made about keeping his face hidden. Shows don't usually do that unless the goal is to hype up some official reveal, and I can't wait to see what comes of it.

Luz Telling Herself to Count to Five: Hey, more evidence for how I relate to Luz! I know how it feels to be all panicky about a specific situation, and I only got better when I took the time to calm down for a bit. Sometimes, I even tried the "count to x" method that Luz used...it never worked, primarily because it made me feel worse when people told me to do it, but I still tried it! Plus, there's also some narrative foreshadowing when after Luz says five, the realm shows her Vee, or Number V, which is a pretty cool detail you'll notice on a rewatch.

Luz Helping Vee: I gave Camila praise for helping Vee in the end, but that doesn't abstain Luz from her own set of recognition. The second that Luz realized that Vee wasn't really a threat and is far from evil, our favorite human does what she can to help and even makes a deal where they're both happy. Because, of course, Luz is that perfect of a protagonist who is more than willing to help others in need. And it's why we love her so.

Looking for Magic that Eda Left Behind: A pretty cool idea that gives Luz and Vee a chance to bond and giving us an insight into Eda's past antics and misadventures in the human realm. Not much I can add to it, though.

Gravesfield: It's surprisingly not as jarring as I thought it would be to spend an episode in the human realm. I thought for sure, after all that time in the Boiling Isles, there would be something off about walking around a normal environment for a change. Turns out, it's almost easy to get used to. Or, for me, it is.

But I will say that there's this neat use of colors when comparing Gravesfield with the Boiling Isles. In Gravesfield, the coloring looks dulled down and standard, which is a stark contrast to the bright vibrancy of everything we've seen in the Boiling Isles. It's a subtle way of showing how things are different, aside from the major discrepancies we could come to expect. And I think that's why I appreciate it much more.

Eda’s Called Herself Marylynn in the Human Realm: Hang on...hang on...do you mean to tell me that the crack theory about Eda being Stan's ex-wife is actually true?

...

...What even is this show?!

Vee Making Friends with Camp Members: This shows the most apparent difference between Luz and Vee. Where we see Luz is already fearing the many ways that could go wrong with interacting with teens, Vee revealed that she adapted to her situation and had a chance to make friends. The implications of this are worth discussing another time, but for now, I'll say that it's pretty intriguing that we gain this much insight into both Luz and Vee through such a small thing.

Belos Wanting to Learn How Basilisks can Drain Magic: ...Didn't Raine say that Belos was taking away magic? If so, I think we can figure out how he's doing it. The question now is: Why?

Jacob (The Curator Guy): This guy was a riot. At first, Jacob seemed like a threat with the way he trapped Vee and was apparently stocking her, but the second he goes off about his conspiracy theories, it becomes clear what type of character he is. And was it a blast seeing how much of a crackpot this man is. It wasn't cool seeing him wanting to dissect the precious angel that is Vee, but I still chuckle about things like his "Flat Eather's Certificate." So while he's not that much of a threat, he's still fun to watch.

The Owl Beast was in the Human Realm: ...How did that happen? When did it happen? And how the hell did Eda get out of a situation like that?! Who knows, but it's still a shocking piece of news to learn.

Luz Telling Camila the Truth: Hey, she faced her fear after all! Although, the results aren't as pleasant as when Amity faced her fear two weeks ago.

Camila is a Veterinarian: ...One insignificant reveal...managed to destroy so many fanfics. I mean, we probably shouldn't have just assumed Camila was a nurse...but what the f**k else were we supposed to think?! Sorry for seeing the scrubs, and the first thing that came to my mind was "nurse" and not "vet."

By the way, that had to have been intentional, right? There's no way that Dana Terrace didn't think we'd assume Camila was a nurse. She'd had to have put off a reveal like that just to trip up her fans. And if that's the case, then that is a major d**k move...but that's why I mildly respect it.

Two Human Brothers went to the Demon Realm: Turns out we don't have to be in the Boiling Isles to learn more about it. Because now we have more information about how two humans were taken to the Isles with the help of a witch, thus setting up a grander reveal if it turns out that one of the humans was Philip and the witch was Belos. Because if that's true...then there's more of a history between those two than we thought.

Jacob has a Training Wand: This helps me believe that it's highly likely for Jacob to make a return and to have a power boost for when he does. After all, focussing all that attention on the training wand is way too convenient for it not to come up again in the future. Meaning we're most likely going to get more pain from Jacob if he shows up again.

Camila Beats the Crap out of Jacob for Vee: ...Writers, don't make me choose between Camila and Eda on who's the better cartoon mom. I know Eda's technically not a mom...BUT I STILL DON'T WANT TO CHOOSE DAMNIT!

Also, the sandal...just...

Why the f**k does Camila have a sandal in her purse? I don't know. Is it still funny that she does? Most certainly.

Camila and Luz’s Talk in the Rain: Ooooooooh, I was not ready for this...

I wasn't ready for the crying.

I wasn't ready for the hurt in Camila's eyes when she found out Luz chose to stay in the Boiling Isles.

I wasn't ready for Camila asking if Luz hates being with her that much.

I wasn't ready for Luz profusely stating how it was never Camila's fault.

I was not ready for Camila to tell Luz that she'll try to do better.

And I definitely was not ready for Luz to barely have enough time to promise that she'll come back.

This episode wasn't the twenty-two minutes of nonstop angst that I thought it was going to be...but this short scene more than make up for it.

Luz Tries to Stay Strong: Yet another thing she unwittingly learned from Camila. Camila tried to keep a brave face when Vee was with her and Luz, most likely not wanting to tear either of them down in the process. Luz does the same thing here as she avoids talking about the details of what went down in her sort-of journey back home. And seeing her clearly fake smile slowly droop into an uncertain frown, it uh...it definitely tore me up inside.

WHAT I DISLIKED

I want to say it's perfect, but there's one major issue that really bogs this episode down.

Continuity Error in How Vee Replaced Luz: Having Vee take Luz's place the same day Luz appeared in the Isles is a smart idea on paper...if it wasn't for the fact that it's impossible.

Because Eda closed the portal door the second that she saw Luz, meaning that there's no way for Vee to go to the human realm. It's a major plothole that makes no sense, and it might just be the first time ever that this series wasn't so closely knit with its story. Which ends up taking a dive in quality in the process.

IN CONCLUSION

I'd say that "Yesterday's Lie" is an A-. Everything about Luz, Vee, and Camila is incredible, combined into a story that ends in tragedy and uncertainty for the future. That plothole may drag things down a bit, but everything else is handled so well that I'm not lying when I say it's easy to forgive and forget.

(And that's ten episodes in a row without a single stinker. HOW THE F**K DOES THIS SEASON KEEP WINNING?!)

[obxcunt]

Love bites || (1)

pairing: jj maybank x reader [eventually] || rafe cameron x reader [currently]

warnings: smut, death, cursing, drugs, alcohol, typos.

summary: it was supposed to be a good summer for you, the last one in the obx before going to college, the last one with your friends and family. Unfortunately, a sudden and mysterious death is about to completely change your life, pushing you directly into a brand new world and into a very sexy vampire’s arms.

A/N: i’ve been obsessed with vampires for a while, also started rewatching buffy recently. I really wanted to give you guys some vampire shit since i was in the mood for it. This is part one of my new series, let me know what you think, all characters are 18+.

masterlist || part two

“Today, we are still looking for the animal who brutally killed a teenage boy on Friday night, around midnight. The police department is asking our citizens to be extremely vigilant. A curfew might be installed for the next few days, until the end of the police’s researches—"

“Jesus…” Your mother murmured, turning off the tv. “This is scary, how are we supposed to feel safe right now?” You sighed, looking at the delicious meal in front of you, your fork wandering through it. “This thing, could be anywhere—” She paused. “Well, probably not on Figure Eight. I feel so bad for this family, maybe we should do something for them—”

“Like, what?” Your father asked, frowning. “Are you going to make them a cake with: I’m genuinely sorry about your son’s death?” He grabbed the wine, again. “Leave them alone, we already have someone to handle here.”

You rolled your eyes, taking the hint. “Alright, can you guys stop doing this?” You asked, dropping your utensils, the sounds making your mother jump. “I’m literally sitting next to you.” You father sighed, drinking and looking away. “I’m fine.”

“Well, you won't leave this goddamn house until they catched that thing.” Your father stated. “It's too dangerous.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait, what?” You laughed nervously, glancing back and forth between your parents. “You can't be serious! I— I’m not gonna stay here all summer. I have plans, with my friends and—” You turned to your mother, seeking support. “Mom, please!”

She sighed, looking down. “It's only for the nights, sweetheart.” You father groaned, focusing on his meal. “Come on, it's her last summer before going to college.”

“But, wait!” You said, realization hitting you. “I won't be able to party with my friends then—” You father laughed, pointing at you with the knife he had in hand. “That's not fair—”

“That's right, no more parties for you.” He said. “I’d love to know what you were doing on The Cut, the other night. Since when is my daughter hanging out with Pogues?” You sighed, throwing the napkin before leaving the table.“Where do you think you're going?”

“In my room!” You shouted, walking towards the door. “Is it good enough for you? It's on Figure Eight, after all.” You turned around, crossing your arms. “I’m old enough to choose my friends, aren't you tired of judging them?” He rolled his eyes, clearly not impressed. “I wasn't even hanging out with Pogues on Friday night. I was with Rafe, Topper and… Kelce.”

“Right.” He said, wiping his mouth. “Then tell me, what were you doing? If you were hanging out with them, how did you not see—”

“I already told you!” You shouted, losing your composure. “I was with Rafe, we were walking back to his car, we both wanted to leave.” Your mother sighed, drinking. “Whatever, you guys never believe me anyway.”

“Y/N…” Your mother trailed off.

“Probably because you're constantly lying and hiding things!” Your father added, and at this point you knew it was better for you to leave the room.

“I learned from the master himself.” You said, before exiting the kitchen, ignoring him. “Cheating asshole...” You murmured on your way to your bedroom.

It’s true, you were supposedly going to leave with Rafe that night, when you both left the boneyard. However, as soon as you both entered the truck: you magically ended up riding the Kook boy, under the influence.

“Shit-” He moaned, his hands slightly bruising your hips as you bounced on his dick, holding on his shoulders for dear life. “Fuck, Rafe!” You cried, bare chest pressed against his, moaning close to his ear: the sound driving him crazy. His hands moved, caressing your body, his eyes shutting down in a soft whine. You moaned loudly, head falling backwards, giving him enough space to kiss your chest. “Fuck— You feel so good, Y/N.” He said, pounding into you harder, the movement making you fall on him again. You smiled against his neck, ready to answer him before hearing a scream, the sound ruining the moment. “Wait, wait, wait—” You said, panic taking over you. You moved, your back hitting the steering wheel, making Rafe laugh. “What's wrong, Y/N?” He asked, the both of you panting as your hands moved along his toned chest. “You heard that, right?” You asked, the moonlight barely lighting his features through the fogged windows. “Well, of course.” He said, smirking. “I think everyone heard you.” You sighed, smacking his sweaty skin. “I’m serious, Rafe! Someone bloody screamed outside.” He nodded, kissing your forehead. “Relax, baby. It's probably just people messing around.” You weren't convinced by that. “Hey, i’m gonna check, okay?” He said, feeling bad as soon as you started biting your nails. You nodded, moving back to the passenger seat, putting your clothes on. “I’m coming with you.” You opened the door, quickly running to him. “I don't think it's a good—” You held his hand, shutting him off. You both walked around the deserted place, approaching the woods, searching through the darkness, the cold air and a bunch of noises giving you goosebumps. “Wait, what's that?” Rafe asked, stopping along the way to the beach, noticing a body laying on the ground. “Rafe—” You felt your heartbeat increasing, letting go of his hand. “Stay behind me, Y/N.” He said, swallowing hard and approaching it. “Holy shit.” You murmured, covering your mouth as tears emerged from the corner of your eyes, recognizing Kelce’s face, strange marks covering his neck. “Call the cops, Y/N.” Rafe murmured, panic slowly invading him as well. “Go back to the fucking car and call someone, Y/N!” He shouted, kneeling down next to his friend’s body. You walked backwards, almost tripping over something before running back to his truck. You opened the door in a rush, searching for a cellphone. “Shit—” You murmured, shaking as you composed the number. “911, what's your emergency?” A woman asked. “I— My name is Y/N/ L/N, we need an ambulance or the cops, anyone—” You paused, breathless. “Okay, slow down, can you explain to me, what's going on?” “We found a dead body, on our way to the beach, it's our friend—” You suddenly paused, hearing a noise behind you, the sound making you turn around in a silent scream, your eyes scanning the environment in panic, heart pounding against your chest. “Ma'am, are you okay? Can you hear me?” The woman asked, still waiting on the phone. “Shit, I—” You breathed in and out, trying to contain the urge to cry. “We need help, right now, please!”

You turned on the lights, entering your bedroom and closing the door behind you, laying against it in a sigh. You looked over the window, familiar sounds catching your attention: a few knocks, followed by whispers. You moved towards it, a bit anxious as you pulled up the curtains: relaxing as soon as you recognized Rafe’s face.

“What are you doing here, Rafe?” You asked, opening the window and watching the tall boy coming inside. “I’m pretty sure we still have a front door.” You added, closing it.

“You're not answering my calls or texts—” He paused, running a hand through his hair. “I was worried.”

“I’m really sorry, Rafe.” You simply replied. “I— I wasn't in the mood to talk. Things have been pretty crazy lately, especially since—” You sighed, crossing your arms. “Kelce's death and the funeral.”

“I missed you, a lot.” He admitted, surprising you. “I know we are not dating or anything but—” You looked down for a second, a bit embarrassed. “We are still friends, right? I missed my friend.” He cleared his throat, fleeing your gaze. “Anyway, we are having lunch at my house tomorrow, everyone is going to be there. It's for Kelce, do you—”

“I’ll come, of course.” You cut him off, giving him a tiny smile.

“Promise me to be careful, out there.” He said, hands cupping your cheeks. “I already lost one of my best friends.” He tried to kiss you, craving your softness but you moved, making this awkward. “Wow, okay...” He said, laughing nervously.

“Fuck, Rafe—” You sighed, rubbing your face. “I— I can't do this right now. It's too much. My parents are on my back constantly, you probably should leave before they—”

“Your parents love me, Y/N!” He said, sighing as you refused to match his enthusiasm. “Okay, it's fine. I can’t stay any longer, Topper is parked in the street, waiting for me. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“That's very sweet.” You said, pushing up on your toes and kissing his cheek, the action making him blush right away. “Be careful, alright? Stay on Figure Eight, it's safer apparently.” He nodded, opening the window himself.

You watched him leave, closing the window behind him as he walked back to Topper’s jeep. Once they were gone, you looked down, noticing a silhouette standing in front of your house, the darkness hiding his identity.

“What the fuck—” You murmured, turning off the lights and shutting down the curtains. A few seconds later, you lifted the curtains a bit, (curiousty teasing you) searching for the stranger’s presence but there was nothing: they were gone.

———————————————————————

A/N: I’m so excited about this series, comment if you want to be add to the tag-list! I’ll post the next part this week!

[chidoroki]

TPN - Krone one-shot

Ah, another extra chapter. Shirai and Demizu are so good to us. Anyways, I was quite surprised learning more about Krone's time training at the sister academy. From what little we saw from her and Isabella's flashbacks in early chapters and season 1, we know how competitive and serious the girls are at the facility, given the extreme nature of everyone's current situation. All the girls are quite literally fighting for their own lives here, so once Cecile was introduced, I was pleasantly surprised. (this is our first time meeting her right?)

We soon learn that both were from the same GF house and as any natural older sibling would do, she steps in to help Krone avoid getting scolded by finding her missing embroidery. She then makes it plainly clear that it is best not to show any sort of weakness while at the facility. Everyone there is prove themselves worthy of becoming a sister or mother, and if they don't fulfill those qualifications, they'll be killed. 

Having a close friend in such a terrible place provides Krone with minimal comfort, as Grandma Sarah (that's her name, correct?) reveals how slim their chances are at surviving. Only one girl will survive? That's rough.. and wasteful I feel like? I know there's only four premium farms with about 5(?) houses each, so mom and sister positions are very limited, but wow. Fighting off the other girls might not be much of a challenge emotionally, but to compete against your own sibling? Well, that's different. Fortunately for Krone, Cecile has other intentions. (can i say that at this point i already love this girl?)

A hopeful idea, of course, but Krone brings up the chip they each have implanted in their hearts. You leave the facility? Dead. You somehow break the chip? The higher-ups get notified and you're as good as dead anyway. Cecile mentions how the pocket watch Grandma has doubles as a sort of gadget that could disable their chips, so all that has to be done is steal it and use it for themselves. Cecile's wealth of knowledge doesn't stop there, as she then shows Krone a map of the entire headquarters that was secretly put together by former trainees that once thought of escaping. At first, I found this a little hard to believe. One, that such an embroidery was passed down so often between other girls over an unknown amount of time and someone like Grandma never found it. Two, that there were so many girls who were willing to help each other out like this.. but then I remembered ch170 and how eager and willing the ladies were to join together under Isabella's command, so I believe it.

As their plan is set in motion, we see familiar events take place, such as the girls physically fighting with each other (because being buff is somehow a prerequisite to look after children? you know, just in case they try to escape and you need to break some legs). I re-watched Krone's flashbacks in ep8 just to see if any of the girls there could possibly be identified as Cecile, but it didn't work out well since that scene is all monochrome anyway, so no luck trying to spot her blonde hair, blue eyes or even her ID number. Seeing them work together though is great.

Honestly, I never really got attached to Krone upon my first watch of the series. Yeah her movements are very animated and fun to watch when she speaks, she's absolutely terrifying when it comes to playing tag, but she never had one of those moments where I was like “okay, I like this character now.” That, and she gets killed off so her screen-time was really limited. Having her plot against the kids was another reason I kinda pushed her aside too, but I'm still thankful she gave them the WM pen (because who knows where they would all be without it). Seeing her and Cecile just act like normal kids and talk about their dreams though, that did it for me. They're both precious!

Anyways, after Grandma forced them to watch some other girl die after a failed escape attempt, due to her heart chip, our girls proceed with their plan, as they make stealing Grandma's watch top priority, lest they end up like the poor girl who just lost her life. Krone manages to successfully claim the watch at the perfect opportunity.. only to be completed fooled.

Not only by the watch, which ends up being just a normal tracker, but by Cecile herself. Needless to say, that I also felt betrayed by this girl because damn it! How could you?! I swear, I just started to like this chick!

I had my doubts before. I knew it was too good to be true that even if these two girls had history together, that it meant absolutely nothing in a harsh environment like this, and Cecile takes great pride in reminding us of that.

It's because of this betrayal that we finally see the Krone we became so familiar with upon her transfer back to GF. Can't really blame her though. To find out that the only person you could trust suddenly turned on you for their own personal gain? Yeah, that's painful. No wonder she had to harden her heart.

I once thought of Krone's plan of taking down Isabella was foolish, (because that woman is an absolute queen and you need all the luck in the world if you wanted to accomplish that) but she had the utmost confidence she could pull it off because she has done it before to her once best friend. With survival as her main goal, Krone wastes no time in selling out Cecile as the mastermind to their escape plan.

Fantastic. She's learning how to take out her competition, thus granting her better chances at becoming a sister or mom. Good for her right? Sure, but also, wrong! TPN then decides to do what it does best: get me emotional, because poor Cecile did all of that just to help Krone survive! She saw how unguarded and scared Krone was upon joining the sister academy. She then vowed, as her older sibling, to protect and prepare her for the cruel reality of this world by teaching her how to be ruthless and survive. (though i'm sure there could've been easier way to accomplish this? like i know only one chick was gonna survive from their class but holy hell, did you have to go through such extremes?)

As if the newest member of the self-sacrifice club didn't upset me enough, they decide to give us this sky scene that is only gonna hit my feels harder whenever I decide to watch episode 8 back again..

Aahh.. I love all these extra chapters we've been getting, truly, but must they always make me feel bad for these characters? These girls deserved so much better! I'm sad. I think Cecile is great. Her methods are a bit extreme but her heart was in the right place.. and now they're both in a better place, ha.

(we're getting an extra chapter for isabella sometime in the future as well and if it's gonna be another sad backstory, then i'm so not ready for it.. i already know i'm gonna cry. i love that woman.)

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the third ep of Hypmic Rhythm Anima (as always, spoilers beware but not only for the anime itself but for future things covered in the Drama CD and the Manga. If you’re an anime only, those are marked with a *)

Right off the bat. Super disappointed that it isn’t a MTC episode. I wanted an MTC episode. :((((

Still got my MTC crumbs this week tho and I think I can hold out until next week which hopefully will give me the MTC episode I so desperately want (Yes, i have a division bias and i’m not afraid to show it)

Jakurai entertaining kids are just so cute. I think its very very precious.

* Also. What kind of doctor is Jakurai anyways? So far we know that he’s a councilor/therapist (helps Doppo w/ his anxiety), a pediatrician (he helped a kid), a family doctor (I think i might be wrong on this one), a surgeon (In the FP vs MTC manga he’s shown preforming surgery), a hitman/assassin (:/ yeah evil line records seems intent on retconning this one), a battle field medic (he’s state to be one during WWIII) and now he’s getting called into the orthopedic (things concerning the musculoskeletal system) and gastroenterology (working w. the digestive system) department, two things that have nothing in common with each other. And I’m sure I’m missing some. There is no way in hell this man can do all that he’s 35 for fucks sake. You’d be old and grey before you could learn and complete the credentials needed to work half of these jobs

Nice to now that theres some hints of jakurai’s past. I have a feeling that we’ll be seeing more of the detective later in the story, esp for Matenrou

Doppo being overworked as usual *sigh*. When will the man ever rest? Never... Though im a bit skeptical as to why one of his co-workers calls him doppo. this is a work environment, usually he’d be called “Kanonzaka” for the least amount of informality. seems sus to me. Though his depiction of his insecurities is nice

I love how his first reaction is to call Hifumi and as him if he’s killed anyone. Peak bromance guys. 

Honestly Doppo’s method of trying to calm down is nice but not at all effective. He has the right mindset of calming down and letting his body breath, but the way he goes about it is... eh. 

Tom and Iris’ argument is hilarious and I really want to see more of them and Rex! Can’t wait to see what happens with these three new characters

Iasdgfjsd;flkasjdflkasdjfkasdlvn ajsdk, MTCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

MY BPOYS OH MY GOD RIOU NEVER CHANGE

fsajghasdf i love them asdhfoiksldjfasdfj riou’s food looks so so so so so good omgggggg

Samatoki respecting the fuck outta Jakurai is amazing and I never get tired of their father-child kind of relationship (yes jakurai is a dad to TDD fight me.)

The Riou and Samatoki interactionnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ah my heart!! they know each other so well and play off each others strengths. its so cute and I love how Samatoki knows his teammates well enough to know when to play each of his pieces. He isn’t just some brute who speaks through his fists, but he does use his head too. I think this is one of the reasons why he’s also high up on the Yakuza ladder since he’s not only brawny but also brainy

EAT RIOUS FOOD SAMATOKI

ah yes, Jyuto kneeing a bitch. just what I needed to see on a stressful friday thank you for feeding me

I love MTC, im very happy with the MTC crumbs. Since MTR showed up in BB’s ep last week, i really really hope that next week’s ep will be MTC

There it is. Jakurai’s “Jitsuni Kyoumibukai” line

lolololololol the sound effects for MTR is hilarious. Though please give Doppo a break, man deserves it

Jaku’s hair man. its beautiful

Again, please give Doppo a break, he deserves with the 4 joints that they attacked

They say 3 times, but they attacked 4 places?? Did they not report one of them?

Ahhhhh the DoHifu interaction on the temple grounds is both hilarious and cute. Though I can’t help but feel bad for Doppo

* Huh, Jaku did you get that from your hitman days loll

Oh man host mode. Though I like how Doppo recognizes when Host Mode is  a legitimate shield that Hifumi needs and is willing to give him that shield when he needs it. God I love their dynamic]

wow... yet another female stalker for Hifumi... very original. This is pretty similar to the stalker girl from the manga and CD

Lol callback to when Doppo was in the toilet and trying to calm down. 

pffft the girl is so weird. I can’t stand her or Uwabami. 

The plot is so convoluted holy shit. Is this a drama now? (I’ve never watched any c-dramas or k-dramas so I’m the furthest thing from a voice of authority but this seems like a drama show plot lmao.)

This is just a drama at this point lol. Misunderstandings, plot twists and cheesy shit all over the place. Its a badly written and hilarious drama thats for sure

Someone please write a fic where instead of the hypmic universe, the boys are all in a tv drama show plot and their hijinks bc it would fit perfectly. please

Ah, Doppochin snapped~ He’s very interesting once he gets fired up and thats when I really really like MTR. Don’t get me wrong, I love them normally but its when they get down to it that really makes me squeal in delight

Oh! So i think each character gets their own personalized intro w/ their speakers, not just the leaders. Thats honestly so so so cool. The 3D didn’t get in the way of the sequence and was really flashy and smooth. I love how they show the transformation and reveal of the mic and speaker. Honestly the Anime has so many good takes on thigs that aren’t touched on often in the franchise.

The rap was honestly fire this time around. I love it and have replayed it almost 20 times. According to the ending credits its called Welcome U which is so cute for such a funny and badass song. The strong base beat and imagery were so strong and included a lot of homages to things that really matches both Shinjuku, Matenrou and the lyric’s themes and they’re really small but important details! The humor was on point without sacrificing any of the amazingly cool elements and the three distinct styles of rap were integrated in such a catchy melody!

EG) the verse All Year Round features a quick shot of the four seasons and the things most prominently associated with each season. Spring has cherry blossoms and flower viewing, Summer has festivals, Fall and Winter have food that corresponds to events that happen in those seasons.

Doppo’s line of “The flea counters w/ a bite” is so so so cute bc he’s got a little w at the end and thats jp chatspeak for a laugh and skjdfhsdjfkslad adorable

Hifumi picking up right after and asking if Doppo is okay is just. Goals. And his gratutious english works really well and is super smooth! Very very good

Also the small homage to The Champions with Hifumi’s “Jump around” line and the format where Hifumi takes separate lines than Jaku and Doppo. Its a brilliant way to sneak these references in and they’ve kept that theme going from last episode

Foreshadowing with “We’re the true leader, Matenro!” Nice touch there lol.

Lol of course its attempted murder. Still gotta keep this PG 13 even though theres swearing abound

The ending w/ mimimi..... leaves me kind of torn since i don’t like how it ended but they did provide some nice advice. i guess

lsdf;jsalkdfjsldf Hifumi please you’ve known Doppo for over 25 years, you should know better than anyone what his charm points are. and shouldn’t you be the one who understands Doppo’s appeal? smh

SCREEEEEEE THAT TITLE OF THE NEXT EP. if its an MTC ep i will scream even more bc asudhfsdkjflasd A friend in need is a friend indeed this is just pushing my Poly!MTC agenda isn’t it

Final thoughts:

Please please please let next week be MTC please please please

DoHifu are goals, both romantically and platonically

The rap was fire and I’m going to keep listening to it on repeat. First ep was a bit of a disappointment in terms of CGI and raps but these latest two eps are really picking up the slack! I really hope they continue this for the next two!

JAKURAI WHAT KIND OF DOCTOR ARE YOU PLEASE TELL ME

[cringeyvanillamilk]

Who are your top ten favorite black clover characters and ships? Talk about them.

YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR A LONG TIME AND I’M READY TO DELIVER 1/2 OF YOUR REQUEST! I’ll post my top ten ships on your other ask~! <3

Sorry for the long text! I kind of went overboard with my explanations!

My Top 10 Favorite Black Clover Characters!

1 Asta

Before I got into Black Clover, I always heard a lot of negative comments about Asta as a character. “He’s too loud” “He’s extremely annoying” “He’s just a generic character”. After hearing so many of these types of comments, I was curious to see if what people said about him was true. And now that I’m up to date with the manga and seen every episode of the anime (except the recent filler episodes), I can confidently say, “WHO THE HELL WERE THESE GUYS REFERRING TO AGAIN???”. Like… hello?? I don’t know if maybe I’m just not that critical as a person, but I found Asta’s character to be quite endearing! People hated his voice but I thought it was pretty fine! It may be because I watched the dub, but even his Japanese voice isn’t that bad. Asta is just seems like an overall solid character to me! He’s not generic because he has a lot of quirks that makes him unique. One thing I noticed about his character was how family-oriented he was. You can tell by how he played around with other kids or comforted them that he has a lot of experience with kids! It’s honestly adorable how great he is with kids! And even though he grew up in an orphanage, he was able to find happiness as a peasant. I liked how he dreamt big even though he was starting from the very bottom. He didn’t have magic at all but he still had the determination to fight against all odds and strive to be Wizard King. Do you know how inspirational that is? And he’s not just doing it for himself,  he’s doing for his family back at the orphanage! He said it himself, as Wizard King he’ll fix up the church and spread the message that it doesn’t matter if you’re a peasant or orphan, anybody can be Wizard King. Asta truly has a heart of gold because his goal isn’t just full of self-interest. I also like how he wants people to be held accountable for their actions. Asta is a very fair person and isn’t one to automatically kill the opponent to save the day. No, Asta wants these bad people to serve their time and make up for what they’ve done. Like??? Wow, Asta, you have a lot of mercy for a shounen protagonist. I think that’s what I love about Asta’s character. He represents hope for other people. And I’m a sucker for characters who fight for what’s right and not because of some heroic prophecy or selfishness. 

This is where I list out random things I like about Asta’s character: Asta’s crush on Sister Lily is hilarious because it truly represents ‘fighting against the odds’ in a comedic way. Asta’s short stature is so cute, I hope he remains short for the rest of his life and grows to be proud of it. I really love Asta’s character design. He’s short, his ash blond messy hair is cute and unique, his sharp green eyes are beautiful, his shoes are two different shoes sewn together, and his fashion sense is simple yet nice to look at!  A very distinct design! And his anti-magic and demon possession is a cool addition to his character! I’d gush more about him but I think this is already too much lmao.

2. Fuegoleon Vermillion

I’m going to push aside my thirst for this man and actually talk seriously about what I love about his character. I’m going to first talk about his character design. I really love how Tabata designed Fuegoleon. For one, I really love how he’s wearing eye makeup. I think it’s a unique family tradition for each of the kids to wear this distinct eye makeup no matter the gender. His eye makeup and burned symbol on his forehead really made him distinct from other characters! It’s subtle but visually pleasing! And ‘subtlety’ is a good word to summarize Fuegoleon despite how ironic that word is. When we look at Fuegoleon’s hair in comparison to his other siblings, his smooth hair tells us he’s more orderly and responsible but his curly bangs tells us that he isn’t completely cool-headed. His red eye makeup could also tell us that he has a fierce side to him, as if his eyes are glowing red with fire. And comparing his face with Nozel’s (both are around the same age), Fuegoleon looks older with his eye wrinkles, telling us that he’s more of an old soul and matured fast for his age. That and he probably overworked himself with a lot of responsibilities. His color scheme is also very attractive! He has a balance of warm and cool colors which makes him look… balance! 

Now as a character, I really love the trope he represents! He’s the mentor figure for Leopold, Asta, and Noelle! For a character who isn’t part of the main cast, I find it impressive how impactful his words of wisdom was to the major leads. But it makes so much sense after all the things we’ve learned about Fuegoleon as a character! Fuegoleon has a lot of strengths as a character that I couldn’t help but fall for. Firstly, his debut of a character was short but memorable for me. During the Magic Knights exam, he was the only captain who passionately yelled about the rules of the next test. That was such a character defining moment because those few seconds perfectly described how intense and serious he is. He could’ve calmly announced the next test but the fire within him told him to jump up and yell those words with all his heart. The next time we saw him, we finally got to know him a lot better as a character and man did he win a lot of respect from me. Despite being a royal, he stood up for Asta when no noble did. He was the first noble to treat Asta fairly right away. In comparison to other nobles we’ve come across, Fuegoleon was a breath of fresh air! He wasn’t discriminating or condescending, which made him a lot more likable! I liked how he came from a privileged background but his sense of justice was still a 5/5. You just can’t hate this guy! His visuals are not only attractive but also his personality! He charmed me even more when he was the first to act and became a temporary leader for the other captains! His leadership, inspirational words, and fairness makes him an overall respectable character! I found him even more endearing when we saw his socially awkward personality. Serious + awkward are perfect combinations for a cute character. I also find his fire magic, salamander, and fire arm to be cool as well! He’s just a great character to me!

3. Finral Roulacase

Okay I’m going to try and not write too much like I did with Asta and Fuegoleon lmao. I need to chill-. Finral is the type of underdog character I always loved in anime. The character people don’t think much of at first but then they undergo a lot of character development! I liked how we saw subtle changes within Finral throughout the series and the resolve he gained as an older brother to Langris. His character arc was overall satisfying to me, especially during his final clash against Langris! Finral just has that good amount of light-hearted times (mixers, casanova wannabe personality, cowardly moments) and family drama! I would never expect a lot of depth in Finral based on his character trope but here we are. Finral is such a likeable guy. I just can’t hate him. I also like how he isn’t a perverted character. He just wants LOVE. Also his spacial magic? I love how unique it is! He’s a walking taxi but the fact that he developed a new magic spell to use it during combat is amazing! I also love how kindness is a big part of his character! A very peaceful libra~! I think what made him above Noelle was that I found his character to be charming ever since the very beginning! That and the fact that he can be considered the ‘underdog’ of the Black Bulls!

4.Noelle Silva

Oh Noelle! You beautiful and frustrating character! I’ll be honest, I had mixed feelings about Noelle when I first got into Black Clover. I was never a fan of overly exaggerated tsundere characters and so I would get frustrated with her tendency to act this certain way in the beginning. It was the true definition of slow burn but it’s through this gradual liking toward Noelle that made me feel strong and positive emotions towards her today. Slowly but surely, Noelle began finding her worth as a person and magic knight. All her life, Noelle was put down by those she called family and other noblemen for her lack of control over her magic. And it’s through this understanding of her backstory where I truly get why she wears that tsundere mask with other people. She can’t take a compliment normally because not only had she never been complimented before, but she grew up in an environment that taught her how she should act as a royal. She was bound to be unlikable at first, but it’s through a lot of character development and understanding where I found my love for Noelle. Noelle to me is how most shounen female leads should be. She has a crush on Asta but that’s not her entire character. She has internal struggles outside of her love interest and went through so much development that she became one of the most powerful young magic users in the series. Like the power ups she went through?? HOLY SHIT. The fact that she made me forgive her tsundere tendencies shows how great her character was.

5. Magna Swing

Man, I’m also a sucker for characters like Magna! I just love the delinquent with the heart of gold! Magna appears like your everyday punk but he really is such a good guy! It’s fun to see characters that subverts expectations and Magna is no exception! It’s small actions from this guy that makes him so likable! I really love how aggressive and uninviting Magna was in testing Asta only to heart warmingly accept Asta into the squad once he passed! He does this again when he makes fun of Asta for having a very small room but then tells Asta to send letters back home so that his loved ones aren’t worried! LIKE HELLO?? Why are you so lovingly contradicting?! Magna really tries to uphold his tough guy image but does sweet things right afterwards!! Magna’s character said never judge a book by its cover! I also find his loyalty toward Yami to be so sweet! He’s willing to gamble his clothes for this man and I call that DEDICATION. Magna is that ride or die friend that I’d love to have in real life. His interactions with other characters are also hilarious and his presence always brings a smile to my face! 

I know I keep talking about character design but I can’t help it since Tabata’s character design is GREAT! Magna’s design… I LOVE IT!! He has the cliche leather jacket and skull motifs to bring his delinquent look together! And Tabata had to give him blue shades!! The perfect accessory to complete the look! I also love his hair style and color! Magna is this close to having a pompadour but stuck with a Mohawk look instead! I also like how his hair has two different colors! It tells me right away that people dye their hair in this world! Interesting information for subtle world building! Light gray and black is such an nice color combination, too! I like how he becomes more of a pretty boy when his hair is down! It’s a nice surprise~! And his most iconic character trait. HIS SMILE! I love anime characters with toothy smiles! We can literally count how many teeth they have- LDKAFJSA. Reminds me a lot of Totoro! 

I  JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH.

6. Klaus Lunettes

Klaus… Santa Klaus… I think I may have a type because in my top three characters I’d date, he and Fuegoleon are up there together! Both are serious and high strung characters with a dorky side to them. These two truly captured my heart-! Klaus is overall a great character! Klaus is the straitlaced character who wants to be respected by others. Sadly nobody gives him that respect and I find that hilarious! I love how short-tempered he is despite how cool and collected he wants to appear to others! Everything about him is contradicting! His hairstyle and earrings are punk rock but his glasses clash with it. He seems disciplined and mature, but is the first to crack and get overworked by emotions. Klaus acts stern, but can be very protective and nurturing. His character did a literal 180 after Asta and Yuno saved them all from Mars. And when he gets worried over Asta and it always warms my heart!! Klaus is lowkey a tsundere but is actually subtle about it- wow! He’s so… comically dedicated. He doesn’t half-ass anything! Overall, he’s a solid character to me! I hope to see more from this nerd!

I’m just going to list out other things I liked about Klaus: I love how his character quirk is him readjusting his glasses. Like get some new glasses if they don’t fit you nerd. I bet he does it to look cool or something. Smh. I also love his outbursts! I mentioned that he reacts quickly and emotionally and I find these traits to be very charming! I like how he doesn’t make his worries towards Asta obvious. We only know this side of him through other characters! That’s so cute~!

7.Julius Novachrono

I deadass thought this man was shady af. I'll have to blame OP 3 and Tabata for clowning me like that but despite the initial suspicion, I really enjoyed his character! I really love how dorky and childish he is! I can never get tired of his fanboy moments in the anime! He's literally the strongest mage in the series but still gets excited over rare or unique magic! I also love how humble he is! He doesn't let his title give him a big head. Despite this quirky side to Julius, I liked how realistic and competent he is as well. He isn’t one to give hopeful answers to other characters. When he said in order to be Wizard King you must have merits, I respected his honesty. Having good morals isn’t all you need to be Wizard King and Julius made that very clear. When he killed off a few members of the Eye of the Midnight Sun, that’s when his character became more real to me. Julius has the experience needed to be a well respected Wizard King and his support towards Yuno and Asta made me like him more! Julius just has a lot of depth and I really appreciate that in a character! I found the path Tabata put Julius in to be very interesting to me! I’m actually glad he’s still alive but as a kid! The series isn’t ready to lose their Wizard King yet and there’s still a lot from Julius I’d love to see in the future! Julius truly brings a lot of humor and epic moments in Black Clover which is why he’s in my top 10 favorite characters!

I also love his character design! I think the short and blonde hairstyle with the royal king aesthetic is pleasing to the eye! He could’ve been a total snob like King Augustus but he strayed away from that trope! His name is similar to Julius Caesar in which represents his leadership and powerful authority as Wizard King, but subverts negative traits associated with Julius Caesar! Clever Tabata~!

8. Vanessa Enoteca

I’m going to have to shout out Vanessa’s arc for making her character be in my top 10. Like if it weren’t for the witches’ forest arc, she wouldn’t have made it in my top 10. I thought Vanessa’s character was a given for a shounen series where we have at least one sexy female character for fanservice, but I’m pleasantly surprised at how deep her character was! Who would have known that there was an actual reason for her to have a revealing design! I think it’s fine to have a character who wears revealing clothes for the heck of it, but I feel like Tabata went the extra mile to be pretty thoughtful about it. For one, she was always caged in (literally and figuratively) ever since she was a child. This backstory indirectly tells us why she wears such revealing clothing. That’s because it symbolizes her freedom as her own person. She went from the modest dress she wore when she was caged in to a sexy dress! I really understand this mentality!!

As a character, I found her lack of freedom to be very relatable. I also felt sympathetic towards her character when she didn’t receive healthy motherly love. I felt a lot of emotions for Vanessa and that made me appreciate her character more! I feel like her character started to leave a positive impression on me when she acknowledged Asta’s strength and determination as well as her helping Noelle as a proper older sister figure! Her arc solidified herself into my top ten when she gained the powers of red thread of fate because of her love for the Black Bulls. That power up shows how much she values the Black Bulls and it always makes me feel soft just thinking about it! Her magic ability is also pretty cool. Thread magic? There’s a lot you can do with that magic! I like how she had a prominent role of maneuvering Asta during the Veto fight, too. Vanessa is another female character with an incredibly strong magic power. It became so useful in so many moments in the series! 

Other comments I’d like to say about why I like Vanessa is her sexy witch aesthetic. I think she looks very pretty and her color scheme is beautiful!

9, Charmy Pappitson

OH GEMINI QUEEN. I love you so. What I like about Charmy was how many times she surprised me. When I first saw her, she looked like she’s a kid but she’s actually 19 years old. What? Then when I saw that she was the glutton, I thought she’d be selfish with her food but then she shares it with others. Huh? Then I assumed she was a harmless character but then she knocked out that witch when she mistaken her for stealing her food with her sheep magic. Oh? And just when I thought I saw everything I needed to know about Charmy, it’s revealed that she was a dwarf and has food magic. HELLO? Like what else am I going to learn about Charmy?! She’s such an unpredictable character and that’s what makes her so fun to watch! The thing is, she still remains the same after all these reveals! She doesn’t really go through a lot of character development but these surprises make up for it! Charmy is overall a feel good character. She’s not one to be taken seriously all the time and that’s okay! She’s just there to have a good time! She radiates good vibes and I like how light-hearted Charmy is! She’s also pretty badass, too, so great combination!

10. Gordon Agrippa

And finally we have Gordon. Gordon. is. such. a. good. boy! There’s no bad bone in this man! He’s so dedicated and loyal to his friends! And it makes me feel bad that he doesn’t get the love he deserves in the canon story! Everything about him is so pure and soft! I love how he’s very quiet and mumbles a lot but the words he says are very sweet! I’d love to listen to his friendship speeches all day! Gordon is the type of guy I’d definitely want as a best friend. His quiet voice and my deaf ears aren’t a great combination but I don’t care! Gordon’s personality is perfect to me! I really hope we get to see more from him in the future!

In terms of character design, I absolutely love it! His goth aesthetic contrasts so much with his actual personality. I love the Marilyn Manson inspiration behind Gordon’s design. His character design is so distinct from other characters which makes him stick out like a sore thumb. This is random but I love how thick his lips are. The black lipstick and eye shadow also looks great on him! His nose is also cutely big! 

Gordon is one of the best boi. No question!

[miss-lady-uhane]

Off My Chest Pt.1

I don't see what's so hard about being in a relationship. You are born in to a group of relationships. Your parents, maybe siblings, aunts, uncles, or cousins?

Then immediately you're expected to create more relationships and this time it's with strangers. You're told at a you age to treat others how you want to be treated but who's to say that others will treat you the way you treat them. It's totally uncertain how a person will react to you since not everyone gets along even for the most simple of reasons.

When I was in elementary school I always had the weirdest time making friends and I think it's because no one else was going through what I was going through. At that time I was too young to connect those dots because I didn't even really know what I was going through. I always hung out with my cousin patsy when we weren't in school, mostly because my dad was working and she was also my only cousin who was my age. I think we got along well but we just had different views about things. We both grew up in a Jehovah Witness family, and by that I mean my grandparents were both heavily religious and had 13 kids where majority of them were also heavy in to the JW beliefs. The difference between us was that her dad didn't care about going to church and never let the rest of the family pressure him. My dad was always in the church as a young man but was also a troublemaker and actually was disfellowshiped which means no one in the JW congregation could talk to you because you've basically been banned and the only way to get that back is to do everything you're supposed to do in regards to being a good follower.

I don't exactly know how his obligations transferred to me but we always had to go to church until I was maybe 6-8? And I had to go alone. My older cousins would take me to bible study or come over and study the watch tower. At a young age I started to actually realize how hypocritical that was, why do I have to get dressed up and memorize the Bible when my dad just stays home every night? Boom. All at once I was a bad person even though I never did anything wrong.

As a kid I spent a lot of time with my dad who was really strict. My grandma got me a phone because he would refuse to answer her calls and that was both the best and worst gift. I could have some kind of social life and hang out with my friends but my dad would literally call me every 20 minutes and I'm not exaggerating. It got to the point where I would just turn my phone off even if I knew I would get in trouble.

The constant calling and over-protection along with my dad always being gone for work coupled with moving in to smaller and smaller housing situations started to change me inside. I started realizing that not everything was peachy-keen. My dads best friends who I would go over and hang out with their kids no longer wanted him around which meant I had less and less friends. I started to wonder why my dad was always so frantic and why these people he's known his whole life started to drift away from him. The final time we moved to Pa'anau village which was basically Kauai's section 8 housing changed everything. After a lot of drama and overhearing arguments I realized that we were poor. I was still to young to understand why that was but I wasn't really bothered by it because I still wore the same school uniform, I still saw my friends from school, I still went to the beach every day. The only thing that was different now was that my dad was unemployed because the union does massive layoffs all the time.

I was still in middle school at this time and things started to change a little, people wanted to come to my neck of the woods all the sudden and I could never think of an excuse to tell them why they couldn't. Because my dad is a hoarder? Because I live in the ghetto? Or what else? Because my dad refused to pick me up or drop me off because he was always asleep? I never questioned why my dad was the way he was. I always just thought he was sad and missed my mom. He would cry a lot and have nightmares where he would yell for her and I would go in and wake him up and he would just cry.

I learned a lot about growing up once we moved to pa'anau. I had to clean our apartment all the time or it would be a mess, I did my own laundry. I definitely got in a lot of trouble because of who I was hanging out with in the environment. Living there and going to school in the city really changed who I was as a person.

I never saw myself as a "hot girl" or let alone a "pretty island girl". When I was in chief was I remember being like wow I thought I was a tomboy before and now I don't even own a pair of short hollister jean shorts. Either way I made my own path, I had the typical "text" boyfriend that I never saw in my life. We'd look at each other after our friends would go tell them something we each sent them on a mission to relay. Never really cared for any of that because in reality I was still shooting my guy friends with airsoft guns on the weekends.

After a while I realized that I couldn't just hang out with my two guy friends (Curtis & Treydon) because they too were finding themselves in a whole new world. I started hanging out with girls.. I just always felt like I never fit in. Girls as a whole are hard to get close with because there is ALWAYS drama. I still managed to have a group of friends wether I was unsure of if they really liked me or not we all ate lunch and we all hung out every lunch and found each other in class.

In the 8th grade things started to go for a wild turn. I got in a lot of trouble since my after school friends were those in my neighborhood and most of the people who lived in Pa'anau Village have drug using parents or drug dealing parents. I ended up getting arrested for the first time when I was 11 years old. We were eating ice cream I. Old Koloa Town when one of our friends said hey that couple left their bag should we take it? I remember everyone being scared and not wanting to but before I knew it she grabbed it and everyone just started running so of course I ran. She started opening the bag once we got to a bush covered pond near by and I realized we fucked up. The bag had her cell phone, her engagement ring, wedding band, Movado watch, everything. When they caught us I didn't have anything in my possession but the only thing that linked me was a phone call to my cell phone from the stolen phone. That call was made by a friends boyfriend who thought it was funny.

I'm now an 11 year old on probation. Grounded for life, can't affiliate with those friends, not to mention that we all had a different version of what happened. After this I found out that not only those friends but also our mutual school friends also had it out for me. As some kind of joke while we were banned from seeing each other they made a fake MySpace page where they started flirting with all kinds of guys including my last friend left in the groups boyfriend.

At this point I pretty much gave up on everyone I knew. I didn't want to hang out with them and I knew that I could find better people to be with. 8th grade summer my cousin Levi who was for some reason two years older than me in the same grade invited me to hang out with his friends. They were all way older and looked at me crazy!

A 13 year old? Who brought her here. But I was a balmores and they knew my older cousins really well. This group wasn't easy to get in to but once again I found my way and stuck around.

This all leads me to what I wanna figure out. Why, do I consistently get shafted? My 9th grade year I met a boy, he was quiet and literally said nothing to me. We would pass at school and for the first time ever I was like wow who is that. Fast forward, I find out he's friends with my new older friends because he was a senior which would make sense why I never saw him before. We eventually had small interactions and then one day at a party we hooked up. Go figure. We danced and kissed and I was like holy shit I'm gonna get in so much trouble. After that he literally said nothing to me until months went by and it happened again and this time it went all the way. First of all as I'm writing this why the fuck would he be the one to choose? Fuckin guy didn't do anything. Anyway.

I'm 14 and I've lost my virginity to a senior who also lost his virginity to me. Everyone we knew found out and made fun of him for hooking up with such a young girl. Everyone was so mean to me and he never talked to me again not a single word. Later I find out he was too embarrassed, what a pussy.

Instead of being sad I got really mad and started partying more and being kind of a tease because I thought it was funny that guys would try to hook up with me and I could say no but a girl they knew for years would be trying to hook up with them and the guy wouldn't want to. My way of killing two birds with one stone, getting over a guy and pissing off girls who were being mean to me.

Eventually I had my first legit boyfriend and that was.. a first. Typical I threw away my whole world for him but it wasn't hard since we were in the same group, things continued pretty much as normal minus the fact that I always had a ride now.

A lot of things happened that would need an entire book to fill in order for me to explain my self enstated independence from my dad, moving in with a friend, moving in with my coupons, then ending up in Washington.

I spent the entire time in Washington flying back and forth to California partially to see my boyfriend and partially to stay with friends and party.

My boyfriend and I ended pretty bad. He had developed depression and became a legitimate alcoholic, was cheating on me with multiple girls who I was suspicious of, then finally he was a complete drunk monster and that was the end of that.

Once again I found my way. I stayed in Washington and completed high school where I also met a whole squad of female demons. But yet again I started dating someone I met at a party. I didn't know him at all just what I knew from parties and social media. I figured we would be good friends and have fun and it was one of those things where he just called me his girlfriend one day. This was the biggest mistake I could've ever made. This guy was abusive, mentally and physically. I've never dealt with anyone like that and found myself at my weakest point. He spat in my face, threw my belongings all over the place, cheated on me physically, cheated on me on social media, fought with me publicly and on social media. Ultimately he ended up hacking any kind of internet profile I owned and was trying to ruin my life and I had to go to his house get my stuff and tell his parents and threaten legal action. Worst person ever.

Then right before I move to college a friend of mine was really in to setting me up with someone and I told her sure but nothing official. I hung out with this guy and her a few times and started to like him just because he was a normal guy. Pretty basic, friends, family, a dog. Most of all worshipped the ground I walk on. Everything was pretty easy going he asked me to be his girlfriend and I didn't see why not so I said yes, we dated in Washington for 3 months. I moved to California and we were still together even though that wasn't the plan. While I was there the day before my first ever jiu jitsu tournament I get a call "Keanna I'm so sorry I should've never done that I feel so terrible" the voice was a girl but the number wasn't recognized. It was a friend of my boyfriend, she told me that they went to lunch and after went back to his place. I didn't care much about him hanging out with girls because he had a lot of girl friends and it just wasn't an issue. She said that she wanted to break up with her crazy boyfriend and she saw an opportunity (to cheat) and took it. They went back to his house after having a long talk about how they used to have feelings for each other. The stories after this don't really add up but what I gather is that they went up to his room to have sex or something and she started feeling guilty, because we were "friends" and told him she changed her mind to which he responded "can I touch your ass at least" and she pulled her pants down and he touched her ass. Doesn't make sense yeah? So anyway I'm not really trying to deal with this and I should've broken up with him but instead I call him and I said "what did you do?" He sounds confused so I ask again but this time louder. He panicks and says I don't know I don't know. He ended up telling me and flew down the weekend after because wanted to talk. While he was there I looked through his phone and saw some other conversations he was having and also saw that when we first were hanging out he had another option if I didn't go through. Another option who apparently was in his bed when they were making out and she got her period and bled on him she felt so inclined to apologize. After this I lost my shit and didn't trust him at all and I just wanted him to leave. He begged me to forgive him and promised nothing would ever happen again and like me, I go with it. We end up dating for a total of two years. After he said he wouldn't do anything he really didn't. I still let him do whatever he wanted if he wanted to go to Vegas with his friends or party or go to lunch with girls. I just didn't really care I guess, my friend told me "do what you want to do so I know what you'd rather do" so I kept that. Eventually I was tired of how dependent he was. I had to do everything for him aside from basic chores. I had to file papers for him (e.g work, school, gym) I felt like I was teaching him how to do things and I just got tired of it. I felt like everything was almost too good and too plain because I was carrying the relationship. I was better than him at everything. We broke up and he moved out which was a long process.

During that process I was working my first full time job, had a recently found new best friend, and was spending most of my time with someone from high school who didn't like me but we ended up liking our adult selfs. This person suggested that I start hanging out with a teammate, a guy I knew since the 6th grade, or at least knew who he was. She said she thought we would be cute together and people always made fun of us for being so close. Never in my mind did I think I would date him. I just didn't see him like that. We started hanging out and realized we have a lot more in common than we thought. Everything happened pretty fast and things were so different. For once I was open to the idea of having a "friends with benefits" because I knew this person for a while and knew he wasn't exactly the relationship type. I told him that this could work out as long as he didn't keep me in the dark and was honest with me. After 4 months of us being kind of exclusive kind of not he told me that he loved me more than anyone else and I felt the same way. We were officially official. I felt so close to him in ways I never felt with anyone else. Eventually we had our first issue. I had found out that he had been chatting with our old classmate who lived in a city near by, he was telling her all kinds of false nothings and she asked "aren't you dating Keanna?" To which he replied "ugh". I found out because we were sitting with each other that night and she messaged him, I said ew why are you talking to that girl? And he said they were talking because she lived near by. I messaged her "hey girl. Bryson told me you live in LA we should hang sometime" to which she responded something like "Keanna I'm so sorry I shouldn't have been talking to him I'm so sorry I did this to you" followed with screenshots of their conversation. I was hurt. I freaked out, he left, he came back and squeezed me tight after hours of us fighting and said he was sorry and it would never happen again. A few months go by and we're sort of living together mostly because I didn't want to hang out at his house anymore and my place was cuter. Every morning before he went to work he spent a huge amount of time in the bathroom and I was always kind of like wtf and I don't remember how I found this out but I found out that he was flirting with girls during those hours because some how one of the girls told me and sent me screenshots of their conversations. Once again I got mad and forgave him and months went by. I go away for thanksgiving break leaving him at our place/my place. I come back to beautiful flowers and more attention than I had before. He told me shortly after that break that he wasn't going to be hanging with his old friends because they were bad news and I was pretty surprised. I kind of agreed but I also think.. idk my friends are wild too. Either way things were good. One day he gets a FaceTime call and didn't want to answer it, I copied the number in to google and found a name of a girl I recognized from a while ago at my birthday. I was drunk and he let me send a Snapchat to a bunch of girls I told them "I will ruin your life" the only one who responded was this girl who said "I didn't even do anything" and I thought it was funny. I find out that while I was gone for thanksgiving he and his friend picked this girl up and her friend and brought them to my apartment and they stayed the night. They made a vlog about how they picked them up in my car and how they hung out at my place and slept so long that they missed their flight. The next morning there were videos of my boyfriend driving them back in my car. My heart stopped.

I've never felt so blind sided in my life. I hated him and I didn't want to see him again but somehow he convinced me that it was all a mistake and he already cut all these toxic people out of his life.

He suggested that we delete social media and I remember the exactly message "if you love me you'll do the same thing" and I was like wow, yeah let's do it. That was probably the most interesting time of my life. For once I didn't have social media and I had to answer to everyone as to why and tell them that I am okay and that I'm just taking time off. We ended up moving to LA to be closer to school. His friend moved in from Kauai and stayed only 6 months. Living in LA was an interesting change. We got to eat a lot and experience a different kind of the city.

Lots of little things happened while we were here, we fought a lot about social media. He would reactivate his Instagram without telling me which I felt like was kind of shady since we were doing this together and I didn't know there was that option on the table but I felt like life was better without it anyway. At one point I saw a call on his phone made from Snapchat to a random girl. I asked about it and it got no where but I became very suspicious. At this point my trust level was low as could be but I just thought that the goods were good and that bads were so stupid and avoidable. One day I just decided to look through his Venmo and the first name said "queenturtlee" I was like wtf kind of name is that so I look it up on google and see that it's connected to a Twitter account of a girl asking people to send her money. I reach out to her and ask why she's friends with my boyfriend to which she sends me screenshots of their conversations and once again I am frantic. I screenshot all of it and send it to him, we go through the apologies again. And yet again I believe that he was going to delete it. Half way through living in Palos Verdes, life at this point is a fucking rollercoaster. I haven't told anyone about anything thats happened I haven't opened up or really understand how I feel about it we just keep moving. One night after he was out with friends he was getting texts and calls from a Hawaii phone number which I thought was strange, I look it up on a google and I recognize the name. I start questioning it but I get deflected, it's nothing it's nothing. Once again we move on.

A few months go by and we're hit with an actual pandemic. We leave LA all together to go to Washington temporarily and it turned in to permanently after realizing that life in California just wasn't going to be sustainable. I graduated college virtually, we were living in my grandmas house for 3-4 months. Things were weird. We were managing to stay positive by doing all the things we possibly could to stay active and have a good summer.

Eventually we got our own place, moved all our belongings up, and got a puppy! Things were still locked down but at least we had all of our things and more importantly we had this little fluffy bear.

I've always struggled with birth control because I would get the worst symptoms so a friend told me about tracking ovulation and taking my basal body temperature in place of taking birth control. This method was risky but I felt like it was okay because she does it. One day I felt really sick and realized I didn't get my period, I took 5 pregnancy tests all faded positive negative. This led to me having to take a bunch of blood tests and ultrasounds to find out that I was exactly 3 weeks pregnant.

I wasn't ready and had no intention on having the baby but I had to wait until a fetus was visible to do anything about it. While I'm in this process I get a random message from a classmate I haven't talked to in years. They say "hey girl sorry to message you about this but I was at a family party and there were some girls talking about your boyfriend subscribing to her only fans" I immediately felt my heart drop lower than ever. The girl who was at the party messaged me, she told the girl with the only fans to message me and she did. She sent me everything and I remembered a time recently when I walked out late at night and saw him on Snapchat which is where the messages she showed me came from. So once again I confront him but this time it's different. I'm going through something that I never thought. I'm waiting weeks knowing I'm pregnant feeling nauseas, anxious, and scared. What am I supposed to do now.

After a huge fight, the solution was that he would delete it again and give me his password.

This was probably the worst it ever was. A couple nights I unlocked his phone and then got nervous and locked it again. I wanted to look but I was scared of what I would find. I couldn't sleep every night, I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't know if I could trust him anymore. Everything was so good how was I going to deal with a breakup, a puppy separation, all after moving to a new state. I thought to myself, if I don't look now I'll never know. So I do. I find messages that date back to a year. I find all the extra messages that no one sent me, I find money trails sent to females for nudes or sexual messages. Worst of all I find the girl that I saw calling him a year before when he came home late that one night. He had been talking to this girl the entire time, telling her stories about things we were doing. Worst of all is that he wrote the words "I love you".

I completely lost my shit. I woke him up in a rage showing him all the things I saw asking him how he could do this to me.

I never wanted to see him again I felt like I was going to throw up. I was crying so much I felt like the world knew.

He went to his moms house and I tried to stay out or away as much as possible without telling my family anything. At this point it hurt so much. I love him so much, everything outside of social media is a dream so why would he risk that? I felt insecure. A few days before my surgery he told me that he wanted to be there for me and that he was a changed person and realized how fucked up he was but he didn't want me to go through it alone. I didn't want to go through it alone either, I couldn't stop thinking about what I saw and all the names I read. I felt alone and like I was looking at a stranger.

He came back and we slowly tried to figure out how to be normal again. Since then we've moved on far but I think he moves much faster or at least it seems like it. He is my best friend and someone I care about differently than I've ever before. We make a great team, we support each other and know each other on a deep level. We can be our selves with each other. We know each other more than I've ever known any of my friends.

Today, we are still together. He is still my best friend. Our little fluffy bear is now a semi-huge German shepherd who is the cutest and most well behaved 9 month old ever. We've established ourselves in Washington and he actually got a really good job doing what he went to school for. In regards to loyalty things have been going well so far. It's taken me a lot to get to where I am now, I feel like I lost myself for a long time. I'm trying to work on myself lately and trying to stay focused on things that really matter. Our life is pretty much picture perfect but we're still growing up.

Our most constant argument is always social media, but now it's all over the place. It's me being crazy, it's him being careless. A constant circle of misunderstanding each other and breaking each other down emotionally. Sometimes I wish there was a way to forget everything. I wish social media was as it were before, simple. I wish communication wasn't so aggressive and that there was an easier way to mediate instead of getting a therapist. I don't know I wish there was a way to make the pain go away. To not think about what's made me who I am today.

I think it's hard being in your 20s. Everyone is at different stages of life. They have different priorities. People who you grew up with are now spread across the world and you may go years without seeing someone you consider your close friend.

One thing that's hard for me now is not knowing what's next. I feel as if I've given all of the emotional gas I have and if anything else makes my heart drop I think I'll completely give up.

I wish it was easier to get over a fear but some people including myself need extra support. Unfortunately for my boyfriend, not only does he get to deal with what we've been through but he has to deal with all that I've been through.

I always feel like no one I know actually knew what I went through growing up. Boyfriends or best friends are usually the ones who get to know you best and so far only one person who's not my family knows so much about me. Life has shown me how easy it's been for people to leave me or treat me badly. I know that I am not a perfect person but I do know that I don't deserve half the things I experienced. I blame myself for being too forgiving, I blame the church for teaching me that trait, I blame my dad for making me go and making me think life was different than it was.

At this point I have no one to blame but myself for how things have gone. All I can hope is that all that I have now stays afloat and keeps growing in the positive direction that it has. I can't control everything even though I want to.

[ssecretssanta]

@h-isforhome bro !! this is the last one !! holy shit !! :’)

MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOVE !! ✨🥰🎄 I seriously can’t believe it’s already Christmas ! (time isn’t real and no one can convince me otherwise lmao)

I read your message this morning and it literally made me tear up and I couldn’t stop smiling wow I can’t believe secret santa soul mates exist and we found each other :’) like wow can you believe that you’re also the sweetest and funniest person ever?? (my whole heart literally went like 😳💖🥺😍 when you called me babe wOw I’m a sucker for terms of endearment)

I’m a Pro at pretending that deadlines don’t exist and haha my room is already becoming a mess again bc I didn’t fold my laundry and now I have the Christmas Mess to deal with, but it’s definitely a mood booster to have a clean environment !

yeah I’m so excited for normal hours again and it’s not too bad working everyday cause the shifts are shorter ! your job sounds so fun ! I’m glad the scheduling is so flexible, that’s super nice ! I literally Could Not wake up that early lmao my sister and dad worked the early morning shift at Target for a while and I literally have No Idea how they did it ajsjakla I’d simply Die instead

me and my sister used to share a room and it was a Disaster lmao ! I put Christmas lights up all around my room and I just so happened to have a strand of rainbow lights and ofc I had to put them up around my closet for that Sweet Symbolism and I’m honestly gonna get a kick out of it when I come out to my family and point out how many hints I’ve been dropping lmao

(ALSJAKAL that family simply does not have rights !! who puts up more decorations RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS??)

babe it’s mutual I guess bc you have my heart too :’) I would serenade you with some one direction songs but I simply cannot sing so I’ll have to learn the fingerstyle playing instead oR ACTUALLY I’ll play the kazoo instead of singing lmao (ukulele kazoo nonsense rights)

haha I’ve thought about watching hsmtmts but I just can’t get over how Ridiculous and Long the title is??? Like what was the Point of calling it High School Musical The Musical The Series when you could have just shortened it?? I’ve heard great things about Atypical but I haven’t watched it yet !

(literally wtf. some people just get to like See things?? without paying for it?? W A C K)

ANSBAKAL that’s so unfortunate !! (but also kind of funny ngl sorry for laughing but the image of that happening to anyone is kinda hilarious) I’m a queen of awkward situations and I’ve learned to just let myself feel Mortified for a minute and the just Repress It so I can function lmao (and then it comes back when I’m laying in bed and I can relive it and overthink my entire existence oop)

literally imagine just,,, not writing an entire essay every time we communicate?? couldn’t be me 🤷‍♀️

oh boy I Felt That. Family really is the only consistency in life, for better or for worse I guess lmao. and for real, my parents have gotten so chill and it’s nice but also frustrating bc my bro gets away with literally everything

it should be Illegal for younger siblings to be taller than older siblings tbh, it’s just not fair to disrupt the power balance like that

lmao you calling me smart made me laugh but thank you ! I live for a bit of chaos but I definitely also love the thought of having a more chill vacation so I can actually enjoy myself lmao

(that’s wack to think about)

if something ends bad I’ll literally make my own ending for it bc Nope No Thank You. fix it fanfics are truly the greatest blessing on this earth lmao. (I’m most definitely still a loser but like a Chill loser so it’s okay haha)

gay domesticity and yearning is what I live for. there’s no other point to life than to find a fellow gay to be domestic with and yearn for. (I literally had to put the book down and yell silently for a solid five minutes when I realized what he was doing lmao I was a Wreck) this is the fic !! (I haven’t read it in a While so I don’t remember much of it oof) and I want to buy trc so bad but I just have the mobile versions rn ! finding the Energy is really the biggest struggle in life

bro you’ll be able to flex so hard, just think of all that cash and like, Status. I’m already proud of you :’)

sleep deprivation and being gay are my only cultures lmao

askaklsjaka wHaT eVen?? I can’t imagine wanting to have a baby on my own birthday lmao !!

tøp is great !! I was really Into them for a long time and I still love their music but I’m not as involved in the fandom anymore haha (but !! Tyler and Jenna are having a baby !! i legit tested up when I saw them post about it on Instagram !!) your sister is Valid bc Alec Benjamin is a sweetheart and his concert was Amazing !! pit sounds like a nightmare sometimes but I want to experience it at least once in my life lmao.

I’m hoping it’ll be a fun summer bc I need some good after finishing highs school and before moving on to college lmao !

I would also love to go to Europe ! I really want to go to New Zealand, Japan, and anywhere in Europe really haha

teleportation would be So Nice like wow imagine not having to Walk. I’d personally like to be able to stop time because then I might actually be able to get Things Done for once (and sleep !! Imagine all of the sleep !!)

I’m,,, gonna cry holy shit. This is it. Time has flown this month and reading your tags is making me realize just how lucky I got to get you for this whole thing ! you’re literally The Best and I’m so glad I’ve been able to get to know you through all of these long ass messages (long is definitely our thing and i can’t imagine a better way to have done it) 🥺💕 ily !! can’t wait to be able to dm and talk more regularly !! (I feel like all our chats will end up being novel length anyways lmao that’s just the way we are I think)

merry chrismas again !! sending you all the love and good vibes !! 💕✨💞💖

with all the love,

kate @lightsupbabes (your not-so-secret-anymore santa 🎅) 

[my-emotional-self]

Super Soldier Love Chapter 4

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC

Warnings: swearing, mentions of past domestic abuse, slight angst

Summary: Harlow has always had bad luck dating and felt she will never find ‘the one’.  Until one day when her friends sign her up for a “dating challenge” they found on the internet.  Begrudgingly, Harlow agrees and she finds herself moving into a large house with 11 other women.  The surprise? She was vying for the love of a certain Captain; Steve Rogers himself.  

Harlow always had a difficult time sleeping, especially if she was in a new environment.  And this was a pretty weird and new environment to say the least.  

After the elimination the night before, Harlow made her way back up to the bedroom and shared a hug with Charlotte; happy to still be in the running for the affection of Steve.  

All the girls had gotten ready for bed and Harlow changed into her oversized sweatshirt and a pair of black sleep pants.  They must have had the air conditioning turned down real low because it was freezing as she laid in bed that night.  

With the blankets and pillows surrounding her, she tried to shut her brain off for the night but it just wasn’t working.  Usually, back home when she couldn’t sleep, she would just turn on the lights and suddenly get inspired to start drawing or painting.  But it was a bit difficult to do that in her current situation seeing as she had four other roommates.  

Nevertheless she was glad that she was able to bring along her painting and drawing supplies as the contract stated they could bring something along for a hobby.  

Harlow found herself drifting to sleep around one in the morning, but by five, she was wide awake. She groaned quietly as she tossed and turned lightly as to not wake the girl above her up.  She still didn’t know much about her roommates, other than Charlotte of course, and what the other’s names were.  Then there was Aria, the girl with long curly black hair who seemed to hang onto Steve at every chance she got.  She was also the one that Charlotte said just didn’t seem to fit in with Steve.  

Harlow gave up on sleep and silently exited her bed and began to look for her drawing supplies. Once she found them she slipped on her slippers and made her way down stairs to make a cup of coffee.  She normally didn’t drink too much coffee, but her body felt drained from all the excitement yesterday that she needed a little something to perk up.  

She poured herself a mug of plain black coffee, grabbed her sketchpad and a few of her favorite pencils and made her way outside to the backyard.  Sitting down on one of the lounge couches facing the forest, she began to draw; getting lost in the beauty of nature.  

~~~

By 4:30 in the morning Steve and Bucky were already up and hitting the trails in the forest.  

“Are you excited about the first challenge today?” Bucky asked as the two ran side by side.  

“Depends on which challenge it is.  I already forgot,” Steve chuckled back to his friend.  

Bucky let out his own laugh, shaking his head.  “It’s the trivia one.  The team with the most answers correct get a group date out on the town.”  Steve nodded, remembering now that this was one of the challenges.  He kept quiet as he continued running next to Bucky.  “What’s on your mind pal?”

Steve shrugged, knowing his friend would pick up on his mood.  “I don’t know Buck.  I just feel like crap after last night and sending Penelope home.  I know it was the right move because I connected more with the other girls, but it just felt wrong.  I knew we would be put in that situation, but now that I had to do it, it just seems more real.  I mean what’s going to happen when it comes down to the final two girls.  What happens if I have strong feelings for both of them and I make the wrong decision?”

Bucky could understand where his friend was coming from because he had the same thoughts too. There was a real good chance that both men could easily fall for more than one girl and it was a thought that was weighing heavily on both their minds.  

“I completely understand Steve, trust me.  I’ve had those same thoughts too.  But we can’t dwell on those thoughts as much as we want to.  We just have to keep thinking about the end of it all. Because we very well could both fall in love when this is all over and that’s really what we want isn’t it?”

Bucky had a great point and Steve just had to keep reminding himself of the end.  That he would hopefully find the girl of his dreams out of the five remaining girls.  He had to stop thinking about the negatives and start thinking about the positives. He had to push himself out of his comfort zone and that’s exactly what he was bound to do.  

As they reached the end of the trail, they headed back to the house.  It was a perfect morning as the sun began to rise in the horizon. Steve never used to like watching the sun come up only because many times he was stuck in the cold trenches during the war when it happened.  Now he could really appreciate the beauty of it all.  

Once they made their way back to the house, Steve couldn’t help but see one of the girls sitting on one of the many outside lounge couches.  As she came into view, he realized it was Harlow.  A smile appeared on his face as his thoughts brought him back to the previous night.  He still couldn’t believe that he had openly flirted with her right next to the pool. Steve had caught Harlow just in time before she landed on the hard concrete after she tripped. He had to admit, she felt nice in his arms.  And then the two of them had some flirting banter back and forth before he had to get ready for the elimination ceremony.  Steve wasn’t normally one to just flat out flirt, but there was something about Harlow that made him feel at ease.  

~~~

Harlow looked down at her sketchpad, admiring her work as she smiled.  

“Morning,” a gruff voice came from beside her, causing her to yelp in surprise.  

“Holy crapoli,” Harlow exclaimed, holding her hand over her heart.  She glanced up to see Steve standing next to her.  

“I’m-I’m so sorry Harlow. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Harlow waved her hand back and forth, taking a few deep breaths.  “No, no it’s fine Steve.  I just wasn’t expecting anyone out here this early.  What are you exactly doing up this early?”

“Bucky and I usually go for a run early in the morning,” Steve responded, never taking his eyes off of Harlow.  

Harlow then glanced at what he was wearing, needing to hold in yet another moan at the sight of him. He was wearing a tight light grey shirt with a pair of thin black sweatpants.  His clothes definitely showed off his physique and she had a hard time determining if he looked more sexy now, or in his swim trunks.  

“Oh,” was all Harlow managed to say as she looking down at her lap, not wanting Steve to see her flushed face.  

“What do you have there?” She heard him ask.  

Normally Harlow didn’t show her work to anybody, even Blair or Jenna.  The only work she shared was on her Etsy sight.  She wouldn’t even share paintings that she commissioned, only to the buyer.  It was kind of like a secret of hers that she shared dearly, but there was something about Steve that made her feel like he wouldn’t put her down for her work.  

Slowly, she turned the sketchpad over and handed it to Steve.  “Wow,” he breathed out taking in the picture she had drawn with her pencil of the forest.  “This is amazing Harlow.”

Her heart fluttered in her chest at his praise; a feeling she had never felt before in her life.  It was a different feeling never having experienced it before, and she wanted to feel it all over again.

“You really think so?” Harlow asked with a quirk of her brow.  She didn’t know anything about Steve other than what she learned in History class and that he was now a part of the Avengers.  

He smiled at her, placing her sketchpad back down on the cushion beside her.  “I really do.  I’d love to see more of your drawing skills sometime.”  Harlow’s cheeks flushed pink with both embarrassment and pride; she never knew how to take compliments well.  “But for now I should probably head upstairs and get ready for the first challenge.  I’ll see you around.”

Steve gave her a curt nod and turned around to head back inside the house.  Harlow couldn’t help but cast her glance downwards and notice just how supple and round his butt was.  “Damn,” Harlow cursed at the sight fading away from her.  

She sat on the lounge outside in the warm summer morning, enjoying the peace for just a minute longer; but she knew she too should get ready for this challenge.  

With a nervous heartbeat she got up from her spot and headed upstairs to take her morning shower. Harlow was happy to see the shower was free and took a nice long hot shower as nobody was trying to rush her at the moment.  Her long brown hair hung wet down her back as she moaned quietly; her fingers threading through her scalp while she washed her hair.  It was her favorite part of showering because it reminded her of getting her hair done at the salon.  Naturally it didn’t feel as good though since she was doing it herself; but nonetheless, it was relaxing.  

Out of the shower she towel dried herself dry and put on her white bra and navy and white striped boy short underwear.  She slipped on a pair of dark grey skinny jeans and a plain black tank top; unaware of exactly what kind of challenge they would be doing today.

Once she was finished with the shower and made her way into the bedroom she saw there was a chaotic mess going on.  

“We only have an hour to get ready!” she heard Aria cry out as she rushed passed Harlow and into the bathroom.  Harlow shook her head at the sight before her and went to sit down on her bed.  

Harlow began to blow dry her hair as she watched her roommates run around the room, trying to get ready.  At least that was one thing she didn’t have to worry about this morning; rushing to get ready for the first challenge.  

An hour later the girls met Steve and Bucky in the backyard.  The two men looked smug as they stood there with their hands behind their backs.  

“Good morning ladies,” Steve said with a hint of a smile.  “Today’s challenge will be trivia.   The team with the most correct answers will get a group date.”

Harlow clenched her eyes shut, hating this challenge already.  She was never good at trivia, especially all the movie and music trivia that Blair and Jenna would drag her to at the bars.  

“The trivia for this challenge will be based on both Steve and I,” Bucky chimed in, which got Harlow’s attention.  “My girls will be answering questions about me, and same with Stevie and his girls.”

“Without further hesitation, let’s begin,” Steve remarked as he clasped his hands together.  

The two teams separated and into their own groups and awaited their questions.    

Harlow was nervous yet excited at the same time.  She remembered a lot about what she learned in her History classes growing up and she was hopeful that her team would win; she really wanted to try to get to know Steve even better.  

Round after round, Steve and Bucky would ask questions to their girls, and it was a tight race overall. Harlow was actually pretty shocked how well the other team did.  She knew she shouldn’t judge anyone by the way they looked, but it just didn’t seem like Bucky’s girls held a lot of knowledge.  

“Alright ladies,” Steve said, turning to face his girls.  “If you answer this question right, you win the challenge.  Since this question isn’t multiple choice, your answer can be within three years.  How many years was I approximately frozen in ice?”

Immediately Harlow shouted out the first thing she could remember from History class.  “70 years!”

Steve grinned at her. “That is correct Harlow.  Which means my team wins.”  Steve turned to Bucky, giving him a sly grin as Bucky slapped a hand on his shoulder.  

Harlow smiled victoriously as she felt her face begin to flush; her heart beating rapidly as Steve’s gaze fell upon her once again.  But her smile soon faded as she saw Aria bound up to Steve and wrap her hands around his neck, kissing his cheek.  

She would never be that confident, at least not around all these beautiful women.  It was one of her downsides, being so unbelievably shy with guys when there are others present.  

“Ladies go ahead and get ready.  In three hours we will be heading out on our date to go bowling.”

~~~

“I can’t believe your team won,” Bucky huffed as him and Steve made their way to the third floor of the house where their bedrooms were at.  

Steve laughed, shaking his head.  “To be honest, I didn’t think they would win.  I didn’t know if they would get that last answer right, but Harlow surprised me.”

Bucky looked over at Steve and saw him glancing at nothing in particular with a goofy smile on his face. “You really like her don’t you?”

Steve stared at Bucky, giving him a shrug.  “I don’t know man.  I mean I’ve only talked to her twice but both times I really enjoyed it.  She just is really shy and quiet when she’s around other people it seems.”

He sat on his bed while Bucky came over to sit beside him.  “I understand pal.  Some girls are just like that.  It takes them time to come out of their shell.  But maybe on this group date since she won’t be around as many other people, she’ll come around.”

Steve gave Bucky a smile. “I hope so Buck.”

~~~

“I’m so excited we won the first challenge,” Charlotte exclaimed, sitting down on her bed that was across from Harlow’s.  

Harlow gave her a sly smile, nodding her head.  “Me too,” Harlow replied.  But in reality, she was a nervous train wreck.  This would technically be her first date with Steve, even though it was a group date and she knew she had to start upping her game and talk to him more. However, it was a nice surprise to see him early this morning when they talked about her art.  

She wanted to open up to Steve, about everything.  Her parents, her ex-boyfriend who was emotionally and physically abusive to her, but because of her past, she was a really guarded person.  It took a long time for someone to break those walls down, and because she had a very limited time with Steve, she was unsure if she would be able to do so.  

With a now dip of her confidence, Harlow got up and began to search for something to wear; her mind racing with thoughts of if she could continue to go on like this.  She knew about shows similar to what she was doing right now.  If girls didn’t open up, they were usually eliminated.  And while she felt comfortable around Steve this morning when he asked to see her sketch, she didn’t know if she could fully open up to him in this short amount of time.  Her biggest fear is that she would catch serious feelings for him, only for him to eliminate her because of the wall she had built up around her.  

Looking through her clothes, she decided on a pair of black distressed skinny jeans, her combat boots, and a plain red t-shirt.  She wanted to keep it casual since they were going bowling and didn’t want to be uncomfortable in a skirt or a dress; which she saw a few of the girls wearing.  

When she was done getting dressed, she grabbed her sketchbook and decided to head back outside to the lounge couches where she spent her time this morning.  Propping herself up on the lounge, she opened her book to a blank page and began to sketch the only thing that was on her mind right now; Steve Rogers.  

Harlow continued to sketch, not even realizing the time until she saw Charlotte standing in front of her.  

“Harlow, are you ready?”

She glanced up from her sketch before checking her watch.  “Shit,” she announced, getting up from her spot.  “Yeah, let me just bring this upstairs and I’ll meet you in the living room.”  

Harlow dashed upstairs and put her sketchbook under her pillow before racing back downstairs and meeting up with the rest of the girls on her team.  She saw Aria, wearing a short black skit and couldn’t help but roll her eyes.  Who the hell wears short skirts to go bowling??

Steve walked into the room and all the girls’ eyes lit up at the sight of him, including Harlow’s.  He wore a pair of dark blue jeans with a light gray t-shirt, and man was he a sight for sore eyes.  Harlow felt her mouth go dry at the sight of him.  She couldn’t get over the fact of just how gorgeous of a man he truly was.  

“Are you ladies ready?” Steve said, his voice sounding like music to Harlow’s ears.  

The five women and Steve walked outside to see a limo waiting for them.  They all took their seats inside as the driver began to drive.

At first it was quiet, but of course Aria, who was sitting right next to Steve, began talking to him. Harlow sat the furthest away from him, not by choice though.  She was the first to get into the limo, and Steve was the last.  

They had made their way to the bowling alley, only to find that they would be the only ones there.  

“Tony must have rented the place out for the day,” Steve said, shaking his head which made the girls giggle.  

One of the workers escorted them to the lanes they would be playing at and soon, everyone had their bowling balls and shoes.  

Since there were six of them total, everyone was vying to be on the lane that Steve would be on, and in the end, Harlow wasn’t one of them.  She scolded herself for not fighting as hard as the other girls to be on his team, but that wasn’t the kind of person she was.  

Before long, the workers began to bring out food and drinks.  The table was filled with nachos, mozzarella sticks, fries, wings and beer.  It honestly looked like something that Harlow and her friends would be eating during a girls night at home.  

Harlow kept sneaking glances at Steve and almost every time she would see him glancing back at her. Her face would flush from embarrassment of getting caught, but at the same time, she liked to know that Steve was looking at her too.  

During their time bowling, Harlow saw all the other girls chatting with Steve, and she was the only one who hadn’t done so yet.  She knew she had to make some sort of a move to get noticed, yet she didn’t want to do it when everyone else was around.  

“I’ll be right back,” Steve said as he got up.  Harlow noticed he was making his way towards the bathroom and that this might be her shot. She saw that there was a claw machine he would have to walk by to come back to their lanes.  

She grabbed her purse and headed towards the machine.  Looking around, she saw the others girls giggling and talking, not looking in her direction at all.  Taking a dollar bill out of her purse, she placed it into the slot and lights came on. Grabbing the joystick, she looked at her options; smiling when she saw the Captain America stuffed bear.  

She moved the stick towards the right, and then pushed it forwards before stopping and pressing the button.  The claw descended, then closed, just missing the head of the bear.  

“So close,” Steve whispered behind her, making Harlow yelp in surprise.  “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.  It seems like I’ve been doing that a lot.”

Harlow shook her head, letting out a light laughter at his words.  “No, it’s ok Steve.  I was just concentrating pretty hard there.”

“Here, let me give it a try.”

Harlow moved out of his way as he grabbed his wallet and place a dollar bill in the slot.  She saw his biceps nearly tear his shirt apart as he took his stance in front of the machine.  Biting her lip, she suppressed the moan she wanted to release from the sight of him.

She watched as she saw the claw move right over the Captain America teddy bear, before the claw lowered down.  Her eyes widened with happiness as the claw closed right around the head of the teddy bear, grasping it firmly.  

The claw dropped the teddy bear in the drop box as Steve bent down to retrieve it.  She saw him smile at the little toy, which brought along her own smile.  Steve handed the bear to her.  “For you,” he said with a grin.  

Harlow happily took the bear from his hands, clutching it to her chest as she let out a deep breath. She would forever remember this moment.

Glancing upwards, she now just noticed how tall he was compared to her; a good eight inches or so taller.  He leaned against the machine, hands in his pockets.  “Tell me about yourself,” he said with ease, never taking his eyes off her.

Harlow couldn’t help but glance down at the teddy bear; her heart beat skyrocketing at his words. “What-what do you want to know?”

“How about your family? Your parents?”

Harlow’s chin began to quiver, immediately thinking about having to explain her parents to the man standing in front of her.  She didn’t want to talk about them, but she knew she had to open up to Steve, or she could be sent packing, which is the last thing she wanted.  She really liked being around him, she was just afraid to open up.  

“Hey,” Steve said, tilting her chin up with his fingers.  “Harlow, I want you to know that I won’t judge you in any way.  I just really want to get to know you.”

She took a deep breath, nodding her head as she willed her chin to stop quivering.  “Umm, well-well I didn’t have too happy of a childhood,” Harlow began to say.  “My parents fought a lot.  Sometimes it got violent.  But-but both of them are dead and I don’t have any other family right now.”

Before she even realized it, she felt Steve’s arms wrapped around her body.  Letting out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding, she relaxed in his arms.  He smelt of forests and apples; her right arm maneuvering from between them and to his back, gripping his shirt.  

“It’s ok Harlow, I’m here for you,” Steve cooed, rubbing a hand up and down her back as she tried to hold her tears in.  But it was too hard, she felt too safe in his arms and soon, she let the tears flow freely.

It had been a long time since she talked about her parents; a long time since she mourned their deaths, even though they weren’t the greatest parents or role models in her life.

As much as she didn’t want to, she pulled away from Steve, not wanting to draw attention to herself from the other girls.  She looked up at Steve, and he gave her a sorrow smile.  His hands came up to her face; his thumbs wiping away her tears.  

“I’m sorry,” Harlow apologized.  “It’s a tough subject for me and-and I don’t like to be vulnerable.”

“You don’t have to apologize Harlow.  And trust me when I say this, I like to see people vulnerable.  I’ve had to deal with a lot of tough things during the war. And vulnerability goes a long ways in my books.”

Her heart soared at his words, even though she thought she ruined her chances with him right then and now.

~~~

After Steve and his ladies got home from their bowling date, he decided to head outside and get some fresh air.  He had a lot to think about with the next elimination coming up.  Luckily, elimination wouldn’t be until tomorrow, but he wanted to get a good head start and think about things.  

He had a great time bowling with his girls as he got to know them a little bit better.  What surprised him the most was what Harlow did.  There was no way she just decided to go to the claw machine at the exact moment he would be leaving the bathroom.  She knew what she was doing and he was glad she did so; it got them talking for a little bit and while he wished they could have talked for longer, he was glad she opened up a bit more.  

It was Aria that saw the two of them talking and she came and pulled Steve back to bowling so she could sit next to him and flirt.  In all honesty, Steve was a little upset by it, but he knew that this was a game for love and the girls needed to try and win him over.  

He couldn’t help but feel really connected with Harlow about her parents however.  Sure, there was no violence in his household growing up, but he did lose both of his parents and he knew how that felt.  He hoped one of these days, sooner rather than later, she would open up even more.  

Out of all of his girls that were left, each and every one of them have opened up and shown much interest in him, except for Harlow.  He knew there was something there with her, that she must have felt something, but he also knew it would take a lot to get through to her.  But he refused to give up.  

“Hello there,” a sultry voice sounded throughout the empty backyard causing Steve to turn around. He saw Chloe standing there in a very skimpy bikini.  Chloe was one of Bucky’s girls; the one that Bucky told Steve he was really into.  

“Uh, hey Chloe.  How are you?”

She shrugged her shoulders, setting her towel down on a chair as she sauntered her way over to where Steve was standing at the edge of the grass near the trees.  “Not too bad.  Although I have to say I kind of missed you while you were gone with your little group of girls today.”

Steve’s brows furrowed as she spoke.  Why would she care if Steve was gone?  She was here for Bucky after all.  

Steve cleared his throat before replying.  “So did you get to spend some time with Bucky today?”

Chloe let out a chuckle, shaking her head as she came to stand right in front of Steve.  She placed her arms around his neck, making Steve uncomfortable as he stiffened.  “Silly Steve.  I was thinking about you the whole day.”

“Ok that’s enough,” Steve said, gently taking her wrists in his hands and prying them off of his neck. He gave her a stern look before walking around her and heading into the house.  

He saw Harlow sitting on the couch in the living room, sketchpad in her lap.  She looked up when she saw Steve, giving him a sweet smile, but at the moment Steve just couldn’t reciprocate it; he was too upset with what just happened.  

Steve marched up to the third story of the house, knocking on Bucky’s door.  A few moments passed before Bucky opened the door, seeing a seething Steve.  

“You ok pal?” Bucky asked as he opened the door wider for Steve to enter.  

Steve walked in and began to pace back and forth, his hand scratching at his jaw.  “No Buck, I’m not ok right now.  Not in the least bit.”

“What happened?  Did something happen on your date?”

Steve stopped his pacing, looking Bucky in the eyes.  “Unfortunately it wasn’t one of my girls.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“I was outside getting some fresh air when Chloe decided to put the moves on me.”

“What?!” Bucky exclaimed with surprise.  

“Yeah, she started flirting with me.  Telling me she was thinking about me all day and how she missed me.  And then she came and put her arms around my neck.”

“And what did you do about it?”  Steve could see the anger in Bucky’s eyes, and the hurt.  

“I took her arms off of me and came up here to talk to you about it.  I know she was one of your favorite girls here so far, but I just needed you to know about this.”

Bucky sat down on his bed, placing his elbows on his knees and face in his hands.  He couldn’t believe that this was happening right now. Chloe was someone he was really starting to gain feelings for; it truly hurt him to hear this about her.  

“Fuck elimination tomorrow. It’s happening tonight.  Get your girls downstairs and ten minutes and I’ll get mine down there,” was all Bucky said as he got up from the bed and marched into the bathroom, slamming the door.  

~~~

“But I thought elimination was tomorrow!” Charlotte cried to Harlow when she got the text message along with all the other girls.  “And ten minutes??  I can’t get ready in ten minutes!”

Harlow couldn’t help but roll her eyes at her new friend and her antics.  However, deep down Harlow was nervous as hell.  She knew elimination was tomorrow night and she was hoping she could talk to Steve a little bit more during the day tomorrow, but now that wasn’t really the case.  

There wasn’t really any time to change, so Harlow just brushed out her long wavy brunette hair, checked to make sure she didn’t have any mascara smudges, and walked down the stairs with all the other girls in the house.  

Harlow stood grouped with her roommates while Bucky’s girls were grouped together as well.  Everyone waited on bated breath for the guys to join them.  

Luckily it didn’t take long before Harlow saw Steve and Bucky walking down the stairs. Immediately, her heart began to race, thinking back to the moment she saw Steve look at her while she was on the couch drawing.  While she smiled at him, the look he gave her right back wasn’t friendly.  She racked her mind, but couldn’t think of anything she had done to make him mad in such a short amount of time.  Yet nevertheless, she was terrified of getting eliminated.

“Something has been brought to my attention tonight,” Bucky began to say.  Harlow wanted to look at Bucky while he was talking, but she couldn’t help but keep her eyes on Steve.  His chiseled jaw was set firmly; his mouth in a thin line.  There was only way one to describe what he looked like; pissed off.  

“While there are two of us here in the house, you ladies are only here for ONE of us,” Steve barked out and something snapped inside of Harlow.  It was a tone she had never heard Steve use before and she could only guess it was the tone he used when he was on a mission, being the Captain that he is. She felt warmth pool between her thighs at his tone, surprised by how turned on she was at the moment.  

“And there seems to be one of you who just doesn’t understand that,” Bucky said, looking at each of the girls standing before them.  “Chloe you’ve been eliminated.  Gather your things and a car will be waiting for you outside.”

Harlow’s eyes widened at what just happened.  She turned to see Chloe roll her eyes and shake her head before walking upstairs.  

“Does anyone else not understand how this works?  Does anyone else have feelings for person they are not here for?”  Steve asked, looking around the room.  All the girls shook their heads, including Harlow. Bucky was nice and all, but Harlow was without a doubt, here for Steve.  

“Ok then.  If you all still want a chance at love, then this elimination ceremony is over.”

Bucky and Steve gave the girls a nod before heading back upstairs.  

“What the hell just happened?” Harlow asked; the rest of the living room erupting into murmurs.

Tag List: @the-wayward-robot @badassbaker @guera31 @tanelle83 @xjjlex @chrisevansfanfic @mrs-captain-evans @pumbibaby @princess-evans-addict @joannie95 @patzammit @brastrangled @notyourtypicalrose @sfreeborn @esoltis280 @xxloki81xx @poerebel @bornfortherainydays @livslookingforloki @raveviolet @southerngracela

[film-clown]

Holy shit. So I’ve just watched 13 Reasons Why, season 3.

I know I cry at pretty much everything but god fucking damn, this show hit. It hit in every way possible and it is absolutely their best season. They talked about such important issues in the real world such as ICE and abortion rights, and they carried the sexual assault storyline better than ever. I think, almost every plot line was done very, very well. I’m gonna discuss everything from the show, so spoiler alert if you haven’t watched it.

First and foremost, I’d like everyone to give a huge standing ovation for Devin Druid’s performance this season. I cannot even BEGIN to express the way each and every one of his scenes moved me. They obviously continued the story of his assault by Monty, and they did it damn well. This storyline also very well showed that a person can move on, heal, and better themselves from mistakes they make. Tyler changed, with the help of amazing friends and a support system. I loved it, truly. I’ve seen many comments about how this was the show’s way of making viewers feel bad for a school shooter, and honestly? I’m not going to look at it that way. Second chances are how the world runs, but I’ll get into that later.

Now speaking of Monty... LOOOOOOOOOOOLL

Alright so.. I kinda saw this coming? 💀💀

I mean, kinda. But not really. I feel like as much as people would call Monty’s plotline this season toxic, due to the internalised homophobia, I’m going to choose to look at this as something people genuinely go through.

As a male jock, in high school, it’s a HUGE joke to be gay. Unfortunately, slurs are always thrown around, and even if you aren’t homophobic, the energy that jocks give out about the LGBT+ community will surely make you into that. So honestly? The demonstration of how Monty felt throughout the season when it came to his sexuality was accurate.

Now this little bit is gonna be my soft side talking - don’t attack me for it. The scene in the last episode where Monty finally goes up to the guy from Hillcrest and isn’t a dick to him, I can’t describe how that made me feel. And when Monty’s dad later came to visit him in prison, and spit on his face because he figured out he was gay? That shit made me sad. If you’re gonna spit on his face, do it because of what he did to Tyler. Not because he’s gay. Fuck.

In conclusion, I think Monty had some potential. Some. I don’t think he deserved to die though, and he certainly did not deserve to be blamed for Bryce’s death just because he’s dead.

Jock culture is so toxic. It was strongly established this season with both this plotline and the assault one (gonna get to that later) and I hope the world watches this show and takes some action. I don’t give a fuck what you’ve done in your life, nobody deserves to not love, or be loved.

I really feel bad for Monty to have grown up in such a toxic environment, with a piece of shit homophobic dad and that jock culture. The scene where Winston says, “You can be whoever you want to be” and Monty says “No.. I can’t.” Yeah I’m sorry but that scene broke me.

PSA: Monty’s still a dick. This is just my lil gay self talking.

Also, Timothy Granaderos and Deaken Bluman are so sexy. Thank you for listening.

Now fuck. GOD DAMMIT YO. Tony Padilla’s storyline fucked me up.

As much as I cried half the time, I’m so glad the writers brought up the misuse and abuse of ICE towards POCs in America. It broke my heart into so many pieces when viewers found out that his family had been deported and/or held in detention centres. It is so not fair. And to think that there’s countless families in our real world who are suffering through this shit. :(

I love Tony and Caleb so much. Imagine finding somebody who loves you THAT much. I’m glad that after showing a toxic gay “relationship” (Monty and Winston) they showed something as beautiful as this. Definitely one of the best parts of this season.

Speaking of relationships... wow.

I loved them. Like truly. First of all; the SEXIEST couple I’ve ever seen in any series. Also I think my emotional connection with them is cause they literally came back to each other...

...and they stayed together. Through everything that happened this season, they stuck together (for the most part, lol) and I loved that. The love triangle of Alex, Jessica, and Justin was weird though.

I also really, really loved Jessica’s journey on loving her body again. And treating herself right. It’s good that they brought up female masturbation in this season too, the stigma really needed to be broken. I’m so proud of her 🥺.

Okay and, wow. Justin’s reveal on being a survivor.. my god. One thing that’s really good about this show is, it highlights that men can also be sexually assaulted, or raped. And, that does not make you any less of a man. Society needs that reminder.

Also. I love Justin so much. So so much. But I’ll make a separate post for my man.

The brotherly relation between Justin, Clay, and Zach. My favourite thing to come out of this season. I’m so glad that the realest people in this show found a brother in one another.

The adventure of Justin settling into Clay’s family was a heartwarming thing to watch, as well.

This scene made me cry SO much. Clay coming back from hearing about what happened to Tony’s family, to tell his parents he loves them and making sure he’s thankful that he has them. I love this family so fucking much. It was a true wake up call for me too. I went and sat with my mum after watching this. Even if your relation with your parent(s) is rocky, please never take their place in your life for granted.

Alright. The best fucking scene from this ENTIRE show. All 3 seasons. This scene was: it.

You can watch Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.

I cried start to finish on this one. Viewers also find out that Justin is a survivor, and I.. wow. Fuck. I literally have no words for everything to do with this.

This scene is so important for everyone to watch. It’s important for survivors to watch this to know that they’re not alone. You are never alone. And to those who haven’t been a victim of assault, please stand by those who have. Please support them, fight for them. The justice system is cruel to survivors, and unity within society is what can get us through another day. It can make things better.

Honestly I suck with words. Go watch the scene and hear what Jessica says.

Alright, now it’s time for the most controversial topic of 13 Reasons Why; Bryce Walker.

I’ve seen a lot of people say that the show is shitty for trying to sympathise and make viewers feel bad for Bryce - and I’d like to agree to disagree. Bryce is awful, the fact that he raped so many girls and did such horrible things to so many different people will neither be forgotten, nor forgiven. But I’m gonna choose to look at his plotline in the most positive ways possible.

You cannot forgive a rapist, or an abuser. They aren’t mistakes, they’re somebody’s actions that were intentionally done. But you can choose to let the person learn from it. You can choose to let the person grow, do better. I believe that everyone, no matter who, deserves a second chance. Not a single person in this world is perfect and if people weren’t given second chances, this society would be lifeless. I will choose to believe that Bryce was doing better. I saw a post that said something along the lines of, “It took the loss of his girlfriend, friends, and social status for him to realise that what he did was fucked up.” And I agree. Of course it took that for him to realise. Nobody realises what they’ve truly done until they, themselves, face the consequences for it.

The writers truly did an amazing job on portraying Bryce’s storyline. As problematic as it is, it’s reality, and as Thanos once said, “Reality is often disappointing.” Like, do you know how good you have to be at your job to make viewers FEEL BAD for a rapist? We all knew how horrible Bryce is, yet some of the scenes with him and his mum brought me to tears. I’d also like to give a whole round of applause to Justin Prentice because, wow. That man is damn talented. He did an amazing job this season. Don’t ever forget to separate the actor from their character!

One of the things that really stuck with me from this season is when Ms Baker was brought in for questioning. She said, “Did you know that this department has put more investigative efforts into solving the murder of a convicted rapist, than it ever did for any of his former victims?” And WOW. Did she lie? Did she really fucking lie?? No she didn’t.

Going back to what I said earlier, the justice system is cruel to victims. The way they investigated Bryce’s death vs how they treated Hannah’s case is how things are in real life. It’s really upsetting.

Also, the way they portrayed feminism/the SO club was DISGUSTING. I wish they had done better with that, rather than to carry on the annoying and disrespectful feminist stereotype. Protesting at Bryce’s funeral was so disrespectful.

By the way, wasn’t that Audrey from Scream? LOL

The last topic I wanted to discuss is Ani, but she annoyed me so much that I refuse to put in effort to talk about her. She’s absolutely disgusting for having sex with her friend’s rapist, as well as sticking her nose in business that had nothing to do with her. As Justin once said, “Fuck off, Ani.”

In conclusion,

This show is, and always will remain controversial and problematic. And a lot of people will choose to view it in the most skeptical way possible, rather than to see the points it makes. I definitely agree that this show hasn’t always been the best at portraying certain things - especially in season 1 - but they’re doing better now. This is high school culture (not the part where students are investigating a murder instead of doing homework). This is how the justice system treats rapists vs their victims. These are the struggles of survivors.

AS USUAL, THE SOUNDTRACK SLAPS. Go listen to it, please and thank you. This one is my personal favourite!!

Also, I’m always open to discussing/debating the things I talked about in this post. :)

[ravenofthefandoms]

Here are my thoughts on S8E2!

REAL QUICK THO AN ANGRY REMINDER

If you’re gonna post about an episode after watching the leak TAG UR SHIT I saw way too many spoilers and literally two hours before it aired. If you can’t tag ur shit then don’t post at all until it’s over. At least then most people have seen it. If you don’t tag ur shit then ur legally an asshole so be careful

ANYWAYS Thoughts from S8E2:

- Hi yeah did Dany kinda forget that her dad was the Mad King or is she just gonna act like she’s the only one with the right to want Jaime dead?

- Also I love how she’s like “your sister lied to me wut you gonna do about it”

- She needs to step oFF of Tyrion

- I hope Jaime really does slit Dany’s throat tbh how great would that be

- Bran is great fuckin hilarious

- YAS BRIENNE DEFEND YO MANZ

- God I love Sansa so freaking much 😭 she actually values her advisors opinions unlike another queen I know

- I love how Dany expects Jon to be like “yeah babe whatever you want” and then he’s like “nah Sansa’s right”

- Grey Worm I love you but you’re not intimidating buddy I’m sorry

- Jonno does a 10/10 walkout

- Tyrion you don’t deserve this work environment abuse go give your wisdom to someone else who deserves it

- Mmmmmmm Gendry what a man

- “It’s strong enough” what ur dick?

- “What do they smell like?” What kinda question is that wtf

- PSA: sharp objects handled by Arya Stark turn on Gendry pass it on

- Arya Stark, Queen of BDE

- Fuck yes I love this Bran and Jaime reunion

- Bran is like it’s chill tbh it’s like a good thing that you pushed me out the window and made me a cripple cuz now we’re here and I’m a magical motherfucker

- Bran is the most understanding person ever after he became the Three Eyed Raven

- “She’s your new queen too” mmm no

- Actually, contrary to popular belief Tyrion, it’s not hard to blame her

- Tyrion is both smart and a dumbass at the same time how the fuck

- Jaime’s like a dog who just heard a squirrel like “????brienne?????”

- Podrick isn’t a boy anymore HE IS MY MANZ AND HUSBAND AND HOLY FUCK HE GOT HOT SO FAST LIKE THE LIGHT FACIAL HAIR? WET. SWORD FIGHTING SKILLS? WET.

- Awww Brienne and Jaime are like the awkward high schoolers who have a thing for each other

- Why does Jorah still call her Khaleesi

- I’m glad Jorah isn’t a dumb bitch. Like he literally betrayed Dany to her brother’s killer and she still forgave him but Tyrion decides to trust his sister for once??? Nope he fucked up too bad not trustworthy

- Uhhh the position wasn’t Jorah’s to be stolen

- This scene is proof that Daensa will never happen and I am glad for it

- “I wish I could have that kind of faith in my advisors” uhh??? Maybe get some new advisors then??? You should trust them??? That’s why they’re your advisors????

- PREACH SANSA CLAPBACK ON THAT BITCH BEING A HYPOCRITE

- Uh no a) the northerners accept Sansa pretty well they actually like her and b) you’re not doing a damn good job of it dumb bitch

- Uh the family that destroyed Sansa was your family dumb bitch

- Is this bitch really making the excuse that she was manipulated?¿?

- This bitch big stupid

- This scene literally reminds me of high school like Dany literally reminds me of those fake ass bitches who were sickly sweet just to get what they want from me like wtf Dany is so obviously fake that it makes me cringe

- BREAKER OF CHAINS MY ASS THE NORTH BROKE THEIR OWN CHAINS AND NOW YOU WANNA PUT THEM BACK ON DUMB BITCH EHHA (read that ehha as Cardi B)

- THEOOOOOOON YAS

- I love how he just ignores Dany and is like SANSA I WANNA SERVE U BB

- Suddenly I ship Theonsa

- This Theonsa hug is all I have ever needed in life

- Isn’t that the thief from Merlin?

- I love that little Irish girl who’s like “imma fight give me a sword” like is this Arya 2.0??

- I heart Gilly

- “I’ll defend the crypt then” YES YOU WILL LIL HUNNY YOU’LL DO A DAMN GOOD JOB OF IT TOO

- EDDAAAAAAAY AND TORMUND YAS MY FAVE BITCHES

- Tormund is like surprise bitch you getta hug me first

- Beric is basically that cool as fuck and chill as hell uncle

- “The big woman”

- We love a Jon Snow pep talk

- Bran is like “hi yeah I’d like to be uhhh bait”

- Damn Samwell you didn’t have to flex on us like that with that deep thinking aight

- YES THEON REDEMPTION ARC AS FUCK

- Noooooo let Tyrion fight you ain’t his boss bitch (I mean you are but)

- Need it for what? Taking over the north?

- “No one’s ever tried” hehe I’m in danger

- Stark fam looking badass as fuck

- Walkout #2 isn’t as smooth but still acceptable

- “It’s a long story” bitch I got time start talking

- I CACKLED when those girls walked away from Missandei like I felt bad but that was just such a “you can’t sit with us” moment

- CAN GREY WORM AND MISSANDEI JUST GO TO NARTH AND STAY THERE FOREVER AND GROW OLD TOGETHER PLEASE

- WE WILL PROTECT YOU IM CRYINGGGGG

- Ghost is that you homie????

- Awww the Nights Watch reunion made me tear up a lil

- Sam’s like “I AINT NO BITCH I KILLED A WHITE WALKER KILLED A THENN AND STOLE BOOKS FROM THE CITADEL IM THE BADDEST BITCH AROUND”

- I love this banter with my whole entire heart

- i miss grenn and pyp so much I’m crying grenn was my pre-Pod husband

- I love Lannister brother moments so much they are so pure

- Oprah is handing out redemption arcs left and right wOw

- PODRICK HE IS A MAN NOW HE IS MY HUSBAND HE IS JUST SO SEXY NOW

- CACKLINGGGGG “half a cup” pours in half the wine jug

- What a squad

- TORMUND MAKES ME LAUGH SO FUCKIN MUCH

- He’s the awkward kid who tells weird stories and then does weird shit

- “Kingslayer get it right” - Jaime on the inside

- Everyone just has a “wtf” look on their face and I’m dying

- I. AM. CACKLING. AT. TORMUND. SEND HELP

- I fucking love Sandor with my entire heart and soul

- “I fought for you didn’t I?” Touche you got her there

- *sandor doesn’t get to sit by himself* fINE WHY DOESNT THE WHOLE FUCKING NORTH COME SIT BY ME TOO HUH IF YOU ALL WANT TO. CROWD. ME HUH???

- “I’m not gonna sit with you old shits I’m gonna go fuck a bull I mean uhhhhh I gotta go ”

- Arya being lowkey jealous makes me cackle like a witch

- “Is that your first time?” “Well yeah Arya I don’t put leeches all over my dick every time I get home wtf”

- YES ARYA GET THAT DICK HUNTY YASS RIDE HIM TO STORMS END HUNTY YAAAAAAS

- ARYA IS DOM AND GENDRY IS SUB PASS IT ON

- Arya having her first time be CONSENSUAL and with someone she loves makes me happy as fUCK

- GENDRY IS THE PUREST MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR (only after Pod though)

- All I want at this point in my life is for Podrick to hold me in his big strong arms like I just wanna cuddle him fUCK

- “Not a Ser?? Why the fuck not get outta here with that bullshit”

- “I never wanted to be a knight” Podrick: I call bULLSHIT

- Tormund is supportive of Brienne even when she’s dating another guy he doesn’t even care

- WE WAITED SO LONG FOR BRIENNE AND JAIME TO HAVE A ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE MOMENT AND WE GOT AND BRIENNE EVEN GOT WHAT SHE DESERVES OUT OF IT

- Podrick is Brienne’s proud son I am living for it

- BRIENNE’S SMILE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS THING ON THIS WHOLE ENTIRE EARTH IT MUST BE PROTECTED

- Honestly Tormund just wants to see Brienne happy and successful and tbh I don’t think he would care if that meant that she was with Jaime

- I stg if anything happens to babygirl Lyanna i will throw fists she looks like such a little bad ass in her armor omg she’s adorable

- Yeah Jorah you don’t gotta wield it in Randals memory he was kind of an asshole

- Can Podrick sing me to sleep every night please holy fUCK

- Theonsa? Check. Gendrya? Check. Grey Worm and Missandei? Check. Podrick making my whole self thirsty for him? Check.

- Uhhh Daenerys are you not gonna be concerned that you were idk fuckin your nephew or maybe that you aren’t the last Targaryen???? Maybe something important like that not the Iron fucking Throne???

- This bitch really thinks that Bran and Sam were lying hAh she drank a lot of dumb bitch juice this episode

- Daenerys is like those anti-vaxxers or flat earthers who refuse to see the facts

- Fun fact: episode 3 is going to tear out my heart and soul, put them in a blender, and then fucken shook it until it exploded like a coke with a mento in it

- I read somewhere that said something to the effect of characters who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it and that sounds like Dany w/ the Mad King to me rn

- Honestly every time Dany talked in this episode I got pissed off so that’s not good

- People be like “aw this episode was so boring” like bITCH ARE YALL MISSING THESE GREAT DOMESTIC MOMENTS?? GAME OF THRONES ISNT ALL STABBY AND SHIT IT CAN BE NICE FOR ONCE

- This episode made my heart full and I’m going to cry

- Ummmmm in case y’all haven’t seen in Dan Portman (Podrick) posted on his Instagram and it may or may not be a spoiler and if it is then I’ll kill myself

[acehotel]

“Patience Is A Vulture”: An Interview with Creative Growth Artist Ray Vickers

Ray Vickers thinks it’s “un-American not to have a pet.” It just is. The Oakland-born and bred artist also wants you to know about the exact Thursday he was born, his 120-pound dog named Ace (maybe our favorite dog name to date) and his popular series of dead rabbit illustrations. For this edition of Inside Job — a monthly artists’ series led by LAND Gallery’s Sophia Cosmadopoulos — Vickers chats about his nine years at Creative Growth, his artistic process and all the animals that he’s taken care of.

Creative Growth is an Oakland-based non-profit that serves artists with developmental, mental and physical disabilities, providing a professional studio environment for artistic development, gallery exhibition and representation.

Ray Vickers: Did you know patience is a vulture, ain’t that how it go?

Sophia Cosmadopoulos: I think the saying is patience is a virtue.

RV: I think it’s vulture. And if I found your phone and gave it to you, that’s called a good samurai?

SC: It’s whatever you want it to be. Is that some pepperoni on your drawing?

RV: Oh my goodness [brushes it off]. I told my mom and sister last week, a few days ago, if I see someone, a man, doing a horrible crime, I would take my belt off and spank him. If I see a man doing a crime, I would whoop him. I would hit him with his belt in my right hand and take my belt off and whoop him with my left.  

SC: So a double whoop?

RV: Yeah, so what questions you got for me?

SC: Well, would you like to start off by introducing yourself? RV: I’m god. No, I’m not. I am Ray Vickers. V-I-C-K-E-R-S, period. We are in Oakland, California. I was born and raised out here, lemme see, about 31 years. I am 31. Been on this earth 31 years. I lived in Hayward years ago for a short period. But I have been in Oakland pretty much all these years.

SC: Yeah, I grew up out here too. But in San Francisco.

RV: It’s freezing out there, huh? I heard because it be by the ocean.

SC: It is definitely foggier. But now I live in New York where it gets really cold. Have you ever been out there?

RV: No, I can’t really travel because of my pets. I got my two dogs and I got my lizard. And nobody can really feed my lizard his worms. I have a bearded dragon and I feed him mealworms — they are about an inch. My mom will hold my lizard but she won’t feed him worms. So nobody will feed my lizard worms, nobody will walk my dog, he’s nine, he’s 120 pounds, he’s strong. So he used to pull me when I walk him, but he doesn’t pull me no more. So I take his leash and I put it around my waist and I take the leash and I put it around his neck, you know, a chain collar, but he doesn’t really pull me like he used to. His name is Ace.

SC: And what is your lizard’s name?

RV: Jax. J-A-X. He turned a year old on April 19, 2019. I got him when he was small but he’s still growing. He has autism, he don’t like changes. I kiss him on the lips. He don’t like changes. I chilled with him yesterday for about an hour, but I didn’t have time for him on Tuesday or Wednesday. So I picked him up yesterday and he was mad at me because I couldn’t hold him on Tuesday or Wednesday and he tried to bite me. But I told him, if he bite me, I am not going to feed him. It took about 30 seconds and he calmed down. Then I picked him up and I put him, you know, to chill in my pocket for a little bit. I let him sleep. I can pick him up and he can be on my shoulder, chilling with me.

SC: I have never heard of a lizard with autism.

RV: Yeah, it happens. They can have ADD, ADHD, all that.

SC: When did you first start coming to Creative Growth?

RV: Almost nine years, I believe. I come here four days a week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday. But Tuesdays I am here from 9:30 to two o’clock because I leave to do my dog walking job, walking my friend’s dog for an hour. She’s a German Shepherd mix. She’s not big, she’s medium, she’s still strong. I leave today at 2:45, I do a dog walking job. But since the time change, unfortunately I don’t get home till about close to five o’clock, where it’s almost dark and dangerous. I hate to be out in a dark period. You know, I have a big dog and I have pepper spray but I still hate to be out in the dark, because that’s when a lot of badness happens. So I leave here every Tuesday about two o’clock on the nose. I am here four days a week.

SC: Can you describe an average day here at Creative Growth? RV: It has its days. It’s good. It’s like, me? I have autism and I say and do stuff without thinking, but I know how to control my impulsiveness here. Like if I saw you talking to somebody, I wouldn’t walk up behind you and talk to you, because I know how to control my ADD and everything. I wouldn’t just butt in and say something because I have R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

SC: And can you describe your artwork to me?

RV: I just draw whatever is in my head. Something simple, nothing fancy. I do dead rabbits that a lot of people like. I don’t know why people like them, but they do. They sell quick.

SC: When did you start making work about dead rabbits?

RV: Well I was watching TV and I had a freezer in my room. I was watching TV and I had a step, kinda like a stairway thing, a step stool, and it fell on my freezer, and my freezer had a dent in it and I looked at the dent, and I automatically thought of a rabbit. But the real part was, I was watching a show called Heroes, I don’t know if you heard of it, but about 30 seconds later, after the commercial, they showed a guy on there killing a rabbit. It was weird because right before that happened an image of a rabbit popped in my head on my freezer. So I started drawing them, and then everybody liked them. So I started making them out of wood and everything and on paper.

SC: And who is killing those rabbits?

RV: It varies. It could be those teddy bears killing them. Because you know those rabbits with the red eyes? I love animals, don’t get me wrong, but you know those rabbits with the red eyes? It scares the holy guacamole out of me. I ain’t gonna lie, it scares the crap out of me. The rabbits with the red eyes? That’s scary. I took my chances with petting a pitbull on the street more than once, I haven’t been attacked by one. But the rabbits with the red eyes? Wowee. I ain’t petting one of those. It would bite my fingers off.

SC: And what’s your process when you draw them?

RV: I just draw them, I just use the main colors, red for the blood, pink is for the ears — no, wait — pink is for the stomach and a purplish color for the ears. I use a hot glue gun to bring out the whiskers. When I see a rabbit with red eyes, it scares the crap out of me, I don’t know why. The next time I see a rabbit, I will leave it alone. As long as it’s cool with me, I am cool with it. Because I have ADD and everything — my mind, it never stops processing everything. Like September 11th happened on a Tuesday. There are just certain things that I can’t forget. I was born on a Thursday, August 20, 1987 and I still remember that I was born on a Thursday. And the 1989 earthquake, you heard about that one? I was two years old and I remember when that happened. There are just certain things I can’t forget, it’s like a gift and a curse.

SC: How long have you been working on your art?

RV: I was drawing as a kid. I was drawing Sonic the Hedgehog and stuff like that. But I didn’t start coming here till like about almost nine years. I was just at home with my leopard gecko. I was just at home watching TV playing PS2 with my leopard gecko on my shoulder. I was just sitting there watching TV with nothing to do and I heard about this place here and I started three days a week. Now I go here four days a week.

SC: Do you like going to exhibitions at Creative Growth or at outside galleries?

RV: Yeah I don’t go to all of them, just certain ones. I always say, if my work ain’t in it, I don’t come.

SC: What are your goals for your art?

RV: I want to go big, you know, platinum? Nah, just to sell, but I would never be cocky if I was rich because the most money I ever had, probably was about one thousand, three and a half, four years ago here. But I am not cocky with money or nothing like that. It’s like I am good at certain things, but I don’t be bragging about it.

SC: What do you do outside of the studio?

RV: I go to Comic Con. The next Comic Con I am going to is August of this year. I remember the first time I was there about three or four years ago, I was there from like 9:40 in the morning to literally 3:00pm. I walked around the whole day, never did sit down. What happened last year was, all I ate was a crummy little bag of trail mix peanuts. That’s all I had. I collect action figures. Like, when people say I’m too old to collect action figures — I’m 31 — they’re probably jealous because they ain’t got the money like I do. Because I’m 31 and I probably have 300 action figures.

SC: Wow, that’s amazing. Can you tell me a little bit more about yourself and how you grew up?

RV: I was born and raised in Oakland. Never knew who my dad was, real mom died when I was 16 and I couldn’t cry because I never lived with her, I was never close. So my main focus was watching Spiderman and cartoons in the 1990s and then going to Comic Con. I used to have a leopard gecko, now I have a bearded dragon, a bulldog and a Newfoundland.

SC: It seems like you’re a real animal guy. What’s your favorite animal?

RV: My favorite reptile would be a bearded dragon, still my favorite reptile. I like snakes too. Any animals, I am all for — any animals. I was learning something the other day — that caterpillars, I think it was in Australia — no, London, that caterpillars can actually make silk like spiders and they can silken up houses and trees and cars and all that kind of stuff. A monarch butterfly can fly 1,100 feet in the air. An armadillo’s shell is literally pretty much bulletproof, and they can actually give people leprosy. I was learning a lot of stuff on the animal shows.

SC: You’ve told me a lot about your lizard, what about your dogs?

RV: Both my dogs get along fine, but the bulldog, I actually found her four years ago by the bus stop. And I couldn’t leave her there, and I promised myself that I wasn’t gonna bring home another dog, because I had a Pomeranian, but unfortunately she had to be put to sleep because she kept having seizures. So I ended up bringing home the bulldog. I walk my dogs. I just walk, if it’s raining, I’m still walking. I don’t mind walking, because I walk everyday for an hour. Yeah, because today I got my two hour and fifteen minute walk in today. If it’s hot, cold, rainy, I’m still walking. Now if it’s thundering and lightning and hailing, I ain’t crazy. I am crazy, but I don’t get struck by lightning. I ain’t trying to get struck by lightning. I don’t wanna be in a coma for six months sitting on my ass. I would miss a lot in six months, I would be missing all my shows, my dog would be missing everything.

SC: That’s right, I heard that you have rescued a lot of animals, tell me about that.

RV: Yeah, the smallest dog I ever saved, like almost four years ago? Her name is Clara, our teacher Mady has her. She was real, real, real, real small when I found her, lemme see, that was about almost four years ago. She was probably not even bigger than my shoe. I found her by the bus stop and that’s when I had my long skateboard. And I couldn’t leave her there, she was with another dog, so I picked her up and brought her on the bus. And when I skateboarded here, she was in my backpack, because I never really fall, and then I said Mady, I got something for you, so I reached in my backpack and got it for her. I have rescued about four or five dogs total. I am good with animals. I hate to see dogs roaming the streets. Even this past Tuesday I was walking home, there’s this one dog and I thought it was a boy so I named it Homeboy, but I just found out this morning that she’s a girl, so I gotta change her name to Homegirl. She’s a chow mix. Whenever I see her, I always give her food.

SC: Do you ever bring your pets to Creative Growth?

RV: No. Well, my lizard is autistic, he doesn’t like changes. He’s only used to me. Like if anybody else try to hold him, he gets kind of spicy. But then if I hold him, he’ll come chill with me for like three to four hours. I be chilling with him. I got a thousand pictures of him. It’s un-American not to have a pet. Everybody should have one. I go to PetSmart. My mom says she’s allergic to snakes but she’s not, she just doesn’t like snakes. So if I could get a snake, a long time ago, I would have, but my mom doesn’t like snakes.

SC: Any last words, Ray?

RV: Patience is a vulture. And, if somebody tells you you are a horrible artist or you’re too old to do this or that, don’t listen to them because haters are gonna hate. And as Stan Lee would say, “Enough said.”

[broken-clover]

Dust Strikers Story Mode 2/4

Part two of the story mode transcripts for Guilty Gear: Dust Strikers.

Part 1, Part 2 (Potemkin, Chipp, Eddie, Baiken, Faust), Part 3, Part 4

Potemkin

Potemkin: You youngster there. I see you have some talent. How about testing some of that talent on my fists? Axl: Man, you've got a nice build. But what do you have to gain? Plus, are you sure you can handle me? Potemkin: I wouldn't underestimate me. My drive for freedom locked inside my heart is my greatest weapon. Axl: Cool. I love peace and freedom too. But you might get out of breath when you're so stiff all the time. Ky: So you're fighting in the name of peace and freedom. Perhaps I might come up with answers for myself too. Excuse me, I'd like in as well. Jam: Just drive won't take you anywhere. There's no victory for those who can't face reality. I'll prove it to you right now!

May: Wow! Look how big you are! Potemkin: And so are you. May: Hey! That's not very nice! Potemkin: No, I just thought you grew a little compared to the last time I saw you May: Well thanks for the compliment. Think I'm good enough for Johnny now? Eddie: Having a host in her growth spurt...might not be a bad idea. Johnny: Out of the way, May! Potemkin: Humph! May:...Thanks Johnny: Thanks. I owe you one. Eddie: How dare you... May: Now it's my turn! I'll prove it to you that a girl in love is unbeatable!

Testament:...Long time no see. Millia: That's a first. You coming up to me to say hi. Things have changed, haven't they? Testament: You're still caught up in the past and changing the thorny path. Millia:...it's none of your business. Move out of the way, will you? Testament: I don't have a problem, but... Millia:... Testament: You seem hesitant. With such mixed feelings, it may cost you your life. Millia:!!! I must have lost my edge, to be getting advice from you. Potemkin: What he's saying is on the money. Those with swaying motivation never fight to their full potential. Please excuse my eavesdropping. Anji: Just happened to pass by. Millia: Then I guess I'll have to eliminate all doubts before I get to him. I'll need your cooperation for that.

I-no: That's an exciting combination Potemkin: That red outfit and guitar...you must be... I-no: You remember me? That's nice to know. Potemkin: Someone like you go unchecked...lucky for you I'm a little busy now. You pull out and I'll let you go. Zappa: Grrr! I'm gonna curse you! Faust: Looks like this won't need treatment. If we take too much time, the patient is not going to make it. I-no: Look, the beasts are making noise. But I'm afraid I don't understand what they're saying. So loud and annoying. Potemkin: That should be enough! It's time for me to shut you up. Faust: Looks like it is your mind-set that needs treatment. Fine, I shall treat you, then. I-no: Trying to act tough, are we? You damned animals. I'll cut you up and feed the dogs!

Dizzy: Umm, thanks for saving me back there in the woods. Sol: Forget about it. Didn't really mean to save you. Just did it for the hell of it. Dizzy: I think I found my place too. Potemkin: Didn't go according to Zepp's plan but the president understands. I'm relieved to see you smile. Dizzy: It's all thanks to you guys Slayer: Sorry to interrupt. Look at you. Looks like you've managed to find your way through. Dizzy: Yes, I think I learned that courage will open the doors to success. Though I still prefer not to fight. Slayer: So what about you? Do you have a verdict yet? Sol: It's none of your business. Potemkin: And what kind of revelations have you had in combat? Perhaps such things are unnecessary for people like youself. Slayer: Indeed. To me, combat is combat. Nothing more. It may be a means for deciding who wins and loses, but in the end it is merely a method. Potemkin: Then allow me the opportunity to put this method of yours to the test. Slayer: Fine. Let us see what you're made of.

Potemkin: Very unfortunate. Gig: Grr... Potemkin: It looks like it's too late. Gig: Grrrgh! Potemkin: Sympathy is the least I can give you.

Gig: Grr...grr... Potemkin: This is the end. Gig: Ghhh.... Potemkin: Rest in peace! Gig: Grr.... Potemkin: Don't take it personally. It would've been best if you turned out like him.

Potemkin: I see you're doing well. Dizzy: Yes, we're all getting along well. Potemkin: To be honest, I was initially reluctant about giving you up to pirates. But I can say for certain that now out Head of State understands. Dizzy: Yes. Right now I'm...pretty happy and peaceful. Potemkin: I can see that in your calm smile. I wonder if my painting can keep up with such a beautiful smile.

Chipp

Chipp: Hey! Hold it right there! Testament: What is it, human? Chipp: You're a Gear, aren't you? Testament: What are you going to do about it if I was? You one of those foolish humans who start attacking as soon as they find out someone's a Gear? Chipp: Not me. I've learned from experience that just because someone's a Gear, it doesn't mean they're all evil. Testament: That's a surprise. Thought you'd be the type that would steam through, and only act on emotion. Chipp: Don't screw with me. I'm gonna become president and the strongest in the universe. Just wanna put my skills to the test. Testament: Very well, then. Show me your so-called human powers. Dizzy: In that case, I'd like to help out. Sol: Sure, why not... Chipp: HEY!! Wait a sec! I never said 3 on 1! Testament: What are you talking about? There's only going to be one winner. Chipp: Oh, I get it. Not like I was scared or anything. Let's do it!

Chipp: Please, I'm begging you! Baiken: Geez, what is your problem? Chipp: Make me Japanese! Even samurai give mercy, don't they? Baiken: No samurai here. Not a chance, buddy. Be a big boy and get over it, willya? Anji: Hey, what are you doing here? Chipp: You'll do! Please, tell me how to become Japanese! Anji: There's no way in hell, man. Be content being the 'president' Chipp: NO! I wanna become the president, become a Japanese, surpass master's ninjutsu abilities and take revenge! May: You guys arguing over something? Chipp: Damn...what are you doing here? Anji: Yup. A 'Japanese' May: Japa...what? Why're you crying sir? Something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Chipp: I will reach the top! You watch me, master! May: Wow, you scared me! You know I'm tough when I'm mad!

Chipp: Hey! I have a question. Axl: Hi there, you look very hot. I-no: You talking about me? Axl: Of course! Who else would it be? Great body, silky smooth hair, you're electrifying! I-no: You're very good with words. Let me ask you then. Who's hotter? That woman or me? Chipp: Hey, listen up! Millia:...don't bother me. Chipp: !...you used to be in the guild! Millia: Yes, but that was a long while ago. Now I'm in the same boat as you. Axl: Ah man, this is a tough one. They're both really hot. Chipp: I'm taking down the guild! You women stay out of it! Millia: That I cannot do. Just like you, I can't pull out. Axl: This is a tough decision... Millia: And...quit staring at me with that perverted look on your face! Axl: Oops, I think I got her mad at me.

Potemkin: I heard from the president. I've been looking forward to this day to finally exchange shots with you. Slayer: One of the disciples, I gather. You think you can take me? You should beat him before coming to me. You'll pay a high price for this! Chipp: HEY! Hold it right there! You're the dude who founded the guild, aren't you? Slayer: That was quite a long time ago...I no longer have any involvement...but it is true that I am the founder. Chipp: That simplifies matters. I'm gonna destroy you! Jam: Looks like I've gotten myself into a hostile environment. Better get outta here... Slayer: Hmm, looks like you're a ki wielder. I'm interested in your combat style. Would you mind showing me some of it? Jam: I'm no cheap street performer. If you give me some of that spice, I'll think about it. Slayer: I should be able to accommodate you. Jam: That's a promise! Chipp: Quit ignoring me, both of you! You're going down!

Johnny: Oh man, I wasted so much time...There you are! Eddie: I'm impressed. Didn't think you would detect me. Johnny: I have the power to see the truth. You can't fool me with magic tricks. Venom:...Found you! You beasts who degrade Master Zato. Finally you can rot in hell! Eddie: You humanoids are good with words. But that kind of talent is needed to be adequate for my body. Chipp: Freeze! Don't you move! You're all guild members, aren't you! I hold all of you responsible for killing my master! Venom: At a time like this? I'm not letting anyone lay a hand on Master Zato's body. Johnny: Well, I'm kinda... Chipp: Shut up! Guilds, pirates, no difference! Today you face death. Eddie: Ha! Foolish humans once again, being hostile against one's own kind. I shall erase you altogether!

Chipp: Damn! Gig: Grr... Chipp: What is it? You wanna dance? Then I'm taking no pity on you! Gig: Grrgh! Chipp: Holy Zen! Go to hell!

Gig: Grr...grr... Chipp: Ha! I guess it's my victory! Gig: Grr... Chipp:...what's this? I'm feeling sick to my stomach....damn it!

Chipp: (That monster smiled before it died. All I was doing was battling hard. Wasn't aware of things I can't see. Did I really get stronger? Guess I still got a long way to go!)

Eddie

Eddie: Haha. There they are. Human, candidates to become my host. Ky:...! There you are! Eddie: You've found me. But I'm even more excited about your combat abilities. Ky: You're...! Zato! Or have you already been taken over. Eddie: That's correct. Former leader of the Holy Knights and a Japanese woman. And you there, I sense a lot of potential. Axl: You talking about me? Baiken: This monster sure does talk a lot. Eddie: Haha! You should feel honored. I shall find out right now whether you are adequate to become my body! Baiken: Who do you think you are? Beat it!

Bridget: Whoah, everybody looks tough Chipp: Hey! what's a kid doing here? Eddie: A child. Attractive in terms of her youthfulness but too immature to become my host Bridget: You're not taking me seriously? Then let me show you my moves Sol:...back off. Don't be wasting my time Eddie: Interesting. I shall keep a record of the battle results for future reference Bridget: Don't be surprised! Here I come! Sol: What am I, a babysitter? I can't deal with this...

May: Wow! Look how big you are! Potemkin: And so are you. May: Hey! That's not very nice! Potemkin: No, I just thought you grew a little compared to the last time I saw you May: Well thanks for the compliment. Think I'm good enough for Johnny now? Eddie: Having a host in her growth spurt...might not be a bad idea. Johnny: Out of the way, May! Potemkin: Humph! May:...Thanks Johnny: Thanks. I owe you one. Eddie: How dare you... May: Now it's my turn! I'll prove it to you that a girl in love is unbeatable!

Eddie: You are the same as me. Zappa: Yes...I feel the animosity. Eddie: Looks like it's a mind parasite. No good as a host. Dizzy: Are you two...related? Or have you both been exploited badly by humans in the past? Eddie: That's correct. As a weapon. But things will be different from now on. Dizzy: Huh? Eddie: I shall find a more powerful host, and I shall be the one to dominate the human race! Faust: Can't let that pass. I apologize for the selfish acts of humans, but your body can't live without a host. This is where I can help you. Eddie: Silence! You lowly human! I am going to acquire Gear power and take revenge on humans! Dizzy: What? So you're planning to use my powers? Not all humans are bad, you know. If you sit down and talk to them. You can't take my happiness from me!

Millia: So...we meet again...Zato. Eddie: So you still haven't gotten over him? Millia: Shut up, you damn beast...I'm talking to him, not you! Eddie: What do you want to talk to ME about? Millia: I'm taking you down. I'm sick and tired of looking at your pathetic, bony remains. Venom: Not so fast...! Master Zato is regarded as the crown-jewel of the guild. You'll have to hand him over to me...! Slayer: I've told you the Guild is no more. No raison d'etre and no purpose. Continued existence will only bring further regret and despair. Venom: Oldtimes can keep their mouth shut. The guild no longer belongs to you. Millia: It has nothing to do with me anymore, I don't care what happens to it. I just want to take care of this guy with my very own hands. Eddie: Do you think it will be that easy? What do "I" think?"...Not so easy, "I" say. Venom: I sense you...Master Zato. I am going to free you, Master, from the evil spell of death! Eddie: Ha ha...this is great! Lowly humans who cannot accept death. That's the right evil spirit to have! Slayer: I'm the one who started all of this. I must atone for my past deeds. Fine, let us put an end to it all.

Eddie: You've been taken over by power. Gig: Grr... Eddie: What a pitiful sight... Gig: Grrgh! Eddie: Funny how I'm the one saying that.

Gig: Grr...grr.. Eddie: Even Gear with all of its power released is not so powerful. Gig: Ghhh... Eddie: Die. Gig: Grr...

Eddie: Can't seem to find any good bodies. Since nobody is as powerful as I am. That female's body had a chance. But again, my powers were too much and again it did not work out. Hahaha!

Baiken

Johnny: Bravo! Very impressive! Baiken: What do you want? Get outta here. Johnny: Nothing beats having a beer in the company of a beautiful woman. How about a drink? May: Johnny! Johnny:...Maybe we’ll have to call it off. Baiken: So the stud turns helpless in the presence of an innocent girl. See ya! Slayer: Hmm, a Japanese...is it a coincidence that both of you are rather...masculine? May:...huh? Johnny: Hey, better stop talking so much. Old people can take a hike.

Faust: Traveling lady with the scent of blood. Where are you headed? Baiken: Get lost, you lame doc. It's none of your business. I can kill whoever I want. Chipp: Woman enduring countless bloodshed. So you're that Japanese beauty? Ky: There's nothing but anger inside you. As a protector of public safety, I can't let such hateful words pass Baiken: Kid, if you don't wanna get hurt, you should just keep your mouth shut Ky: I have confidence in my sword. Not exactly my favorite option, but in this case I have no choice Faust: What you need is some time off in total peaceful serenity. As a physician, it is my obligation to make sure that you are cured.

Zappa: Um, excuse me, I was wondering... Baiken: Yeah what? Why are you so fidgety? Act like a man, will you? Zappa: Oh, I'm sorry. I'm looking for a person, Fa- Baiken: Fa...who? Zappa:...Fricken nasty! Baiken: What's going on here? I'm surrounded by freaks. Testament: How rude of you to say that. I've long given up my human name, but by no means am I a freak. Venom: This is a supernatural phenomenon. Quite interesting. I'd like to see more of your powers. Baiken: Man, this is a real drag. I'll blow you all away! Testament: Lowly humans shall die!

I-no: What do we have here, the desperate bachelorettes council? Baiken: What kind of greeting is that? That's not a very nice thing to say Jam: That's right! You're rude! And what about you? I-no: Oh dear, don't be so uptight. It's just a joke, honey. Or were you offended 'cause I was right on the mark? Millia: You're a joke. Why don't you get outta here. I-no: Oh no. I'm scared. I guess this is how women become as they get older. Baiken: You crazy! I'll cut you up into pieces! Jam: I'm not showing you any mercy either! Millia: If you're not gonna get outta here, we'll have to get rid of you. It's as simple as that. I-no: You're such sweethearts. Very well, I make you cry lots. We'll find out how loud you can cry.

Anji: Finally found you. Sol:...It's you again. Anji: Let me ask you straight out. Do you have any idea where 'he' is? Sol: So what if I know? Anji: Can you tell me where he is? Of course I'm willing to work for it. You and I have a bout, and if I win, you tell me. Sounds fair? Baiken: Wait! Let me in on the festivities Sol: Sorry, not interested. You guys enjoy each other's company Anji: Even Justice feared my powers...Still not interested? Sol:...! Baiken: Shut your trap! You're starting to get on my nerves. I'll kick all of your butts right now! Axl: Whoa!...Damn it...is this a bad time? Baiken: Eavesdropping, are we? I'm not impressed! Axl: I just wanted to ask chief something Sol: And even you. Why does everyone want to stick their noses in other people's business! Axl: No worries, chief! Just a quick bout, no hard feelings! Sol: I'm not responsible for what happens.

Baiken: There may be no point in asking you, but I'll ask anyway. Gig: Grr... Baiken: Some Gears out there aren't violent. Are you one of them? Gig: Grrgh! Baiken: Alright. I take that as a 'no'

Gig: Grr...Grr... Baiken: Okay...I guess that's it. Gig: Ghhh... Baiken: Let me take you to the land of the dead where you belong! Gig: Grr...

Baiken:...This guy's a pain in the neck. 'That Man' can't even take care of his problems himself, what a joke. Sit back and enjoy life while you can. I'm coming for you!

Faust

Faust: Traveling lady with the scent of blood. Where are you headed? Baiken: Get lost, you lame doc. It's none of your business. I can kill whoever I want. Chipp: Woman enduring countless bloodshed. So you're that Japanese beauty? Ky: There's nothing but anger inside you. As a protector of public safety, I can't let such hateful words pass Baiken: Kid, if you don't wanna get hurt, you should just keep your mouth shut Ky: I have confidence in my sword. Not exactly my favorite option, but in this case I have no choice Faust: What you need is some time off in total peaceful serenity. As a physician, it is my obligation to make sure that you are cured.

Sol:...Whew... Jam: How rude. What's your problem? Faust: Is there something wrong? Sol: A doctor and a chef? This is a big joke. Quit following me wherever I go. Go back to your real jobs, man! Faust: This is what it takes to master the tricks of the trade. It's necessary to learn to see things from the patient's perspective. Jame: The art of cooking is also a quest. You're not gonna find anything new just by sitting around. Venom: Then I should get to know a wider variety of opponents. Let's roll! Sol: Move it. Just go to bed!

Anji: You know Sol, don't you? I-no: You meet a woman for the first time and that's the first thing you ask me? I want to know more about you. Anji: My apologies. Last name is Mito, first name is Anji. I'm just a journeyman. I-no: thanks for the introduction. And what can I help you with? Anji: I've been wanting to meet 'That Man.' I-no: Really. You won't live long, dear. Eddie: That's not necessarily the case. As long as you become a part of my body! Ha! Anji: Two on one? This is a tough situation. Faust: Looks like you're having trouble. I can assist you to the best of my humble ability. I-no. Thanks for showing up to your own funeral, doc! Faust: No matter who, my mission is to save lives. Let us apply some drastic remedies, shall we?

May: Phew... Faust: That was a deep sigh. Did something happen? May:!...I have the chills again... Faust: Oh, excuse me. I'll back off. Looks like something's troubling you. Whatever I can do to help May: Thanks...um, I don't know what it is, but my heart feels tingly and I feel gross. Faust: That's not good. Let me take a look. Dizzy: May! We were looking all over for you! Johnny: Finally found you, girl. Where were you? Why'd you disappear all of a sudden? May: Johnny! And Dizzy's with him too... Faust: Hmm, I see, I see. I think I understand the situation. Times like these, you need a breather. Perhaps some exercise will help.

Bridget: Wow, what a massive frame you got. Potemkin: Well, I was born big. This fist I use for what I believe in and to engage in art, nothing else. Bridget: So you're an artist. Good for you. Maybe you can draw something for me? Faust: Should be safe if I've come this far. Bridget: Wow, landing using just an umbrella, that's amazing. You from the circus? Faust: No actually, believe it or not I'm a... Zappa: Dr. Faust! (sigh...sigh...) Faust: My goodness, he's caught up already. Bridget: This is remarkable! How do you bend your joints and run like that? You must be a yoga expert. Zappa: Quick, doctor, please do something! Look! I'm bent all over the place! Oh no!!! Faust: Looks like it's begun. I'll have to take drastic measures. Potemkin: Is it fate that I happen to be here? What the heck, I can help out. Bridget:...! What amazing tricks! Now it's my turn! Check this out!

Faust: This is quite a serious condition. Gig: Grr... Faust: That's right, don't be scared. I'm here to treat your condition. Gig: Grrgh! Faust: I think you'll need some anesthetics.

Gig: Grr...grr... Faust: Finall you've calmed down. Please stay still. I'll take a look. Gig: Ghh... Faust:...! You saying you want euthanasia?...Alright then. Regrettable, but this is the only way. Gig: Grr... Faust:...

Faust: Now, where should I go next? I shall continue practicing medicine as long as there are patients to treat. That is my mission in life!

[thehappyspaceman]

Assorted Thoughts on The Dragon Prince Season Two

Hey, guys. Spaceman here, and… *sigh* …fine.

Since I reviewed season one of Netflix’s The Dragon Prince last week, I suppose I should talk about season two, which premiered last Friday. But I thought I already told you guys, The Dragon Prince… just doesn’t do much do much for me. Don’t get me wrong; season one wasn’t bad or anything, but it just kind of felt standard and a bit meh, so it was hard to get too excited for the second season, and I’m not going in expecting much—

HOLY SH—okay, wow, um… so, The Dragon Prince season two is actually kind of awesome, so… just… completely disregard everything I said in that last paragraph, because jeezus, I was wrong as hell. Seriously, this season is legit! Nearly every problem I had with season one is rectified in season two, all while still remaining subversive to my expectations. Let’s get into it!

The Animation

Okay, the first big, kind of obvious thing I have to talk about is the animation. That was one of the most criticized aspects of season one, the CGI, semi-2D look that just felt choppy in a lot of places, and I was super critical of it myself. Well, I have to hand it to Wonderstorm, because they really pull through on season two. It looks much smoother and more professional and doesn’t pull me out of the moment as it did in season one. Series creator Aaron Ehasz said in interviews that the animation would be more smoothed out, and I’m glad to hear that those words weren’t just hollow. It seems that the crew behind this show are willing to listen to criticism.

The Characters

I already talked about the main characters in my review of season one, so I don’t feel the need to talk much about them, since I don’t want to go into major spoiler territory just yet. With maybe one exception: Ezran. I criticized his character as feeling flat in season one, but he actually improves quite a great deal in season two. It’s nice seeing him form a bond with the baby dragon, Azymondias, and how it takes a toll on Bait, his animal companion from season one, who feels neglected. Also, his reaction when he discovers that his father had died seems… very believable. With little time dedicated to it and few words spoken, he goes through the entire spectrum of emotions upon discovering this: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and then acceptance. His acceptance ties in with a very important decision he makes in the last episode of the series, though I’ll get to that in the spoiler section.

Among the characters from season one I neglected to talk about are Ellis and her pet wolf, Ava. They only appear for the first three episodes of season two, but I liked them well enough and they do help out our main characters a great deal. I also like Lujanne, the Guardian of the Moon Nexus. It’s nice to see other elf characters, since we have yet to actually arrive in Xadia, and she’s funny in the kooky kind of way; it’s pretty clear that spending years alone protecting the Moon Nexus has made her go a bit off the deep end.

Some of the more notable characters include Gren, who always seems to maintain a cheerful attitude even when things are going wrong—I remember him saying, “Why see myself as chained down, when I can see my self as chained up?” which was a pretty funny moment—and Captain Villads, the blind narcoleptic pirate who Rayla and the princes hitch a ride with.

Hey, I just realized, I’ve been talking about the characters in The Dragon Prince and somehow neglected to mention the dragon prince himself! Azymondias, nicknamed Zym, is the hatchling from the dragon egg last season and he is adorable. Even Claudia seems to think so!

But okay, time for a full review of the plot. It goes without saying that there will be spoilers, so unless you have seen the new season, read at your own risk.

Spoiler Discussion

I was a little shocked, first off, that this show only takes place a day or so after the first season’s finale. I figured there would be a time skip or something, but no. That said, the story in season two is executed amazingly. First off, the big question from last season was how Ezran and Callum would react when finding out that the elves offed King Harrow. Well, surprisingly, neither one went with the reaction I was expecting. I was afraid that we would go through the clichéd path of “Oh no, what if Callum and Ezran got angry at Rayla because of what the other elves did?” which we all knew would end with them forgiving her, of course. But no, they avoided that trope altogether. Callum’s big struggle was how he was going to tell Ezran the truth without breaking him. Similarly, Ezran’s first thought was whether Callum knew, which was followed by him going on a long walk by himself and talking to Claudia about it. This is when he makes the decision to leave Ezran, Callum, and Zym—yes, leave the Dragon Prince whom he has developed a connection with—and return to Katolis to take over the throne for his late father. This is a major twist and something that nobody was expecting, but I honestly quite enjoy how it was handled.

It was great seeing all the new locations and characters. Possibly the most interesting one was Duren, led by its young ruler, Queen Aanya. This girl delivers some serious verbal blows to Viren and it’s just amazing to see. But also, finding out about her kingdom was really damn cool. We learn about her parents, the Queens of Duren—you heard right—and how Katolis assisted them in a quest to bring food for both kingdoms when they were starving during the winter.

I’m glad to see more LGBT+ characters in animated shows, and while a lot of people criticized it for the Queens’ death, it doesn’t seem too bad to me. They’re treated like heroes, and we knew of their fate beforehand, so it’s not like it was playing their deaths for shock value—hell, they died in the same battle that took the life of Queen Sarai, Callum and Ezran’s mother. Besides, the creators promised before that there would be more LGBT+ characters as the series progresses… and hey, they promised that season two would have better animation, which it did, so I don’t see any reason not to trust them.

Viren was also a nice touch. Like the first season, he comes off as an antagonist but still has his human moments, where he doesn’t seem like he was simply manipulating people for his own benefit. One of the best moments in the show is when Viren tells Aanya the story of her parents’ heroism; this is contrasted with a scene of Callum reading a letter from Harrow telling about his mother. In many of the flashbacks, we see Viren helping Katolis and standing by Harrow’s side, and it shows that he and Harrow truly were friends before Viren’s love of dark magic took over. It’s also revealed later that Viren had a wife, the mother of Soren and Claudia, but she left him. That was another interesting tidbit. You don’t often see divorce in a fantasy environment.

Speaking of baddies, let’s talk about Aaravos, the elf in the mirror. Now, I was immediately impressed with this character for his cool design, mysterious ways, and booming voice, and it seems that a lot of the Internet shares my enthusiasm! Maybe a little too much, in fact… Yes, Tumblr in particular has taken a… ahem… liking to this character, and I’ll be honest, I don’t get it. He’s cool, sure, but come on, guys. Don’t you think you’re letting your love of this fictional character go too far?

Oh, Amaya, you can crush my head between your thighs any day… what were we talking about again?

Yes, we do actually find out some stuff about Sarai here! She and Harrow had a really beautiful relationship. For one thing, it seemed like while she was alive, they ruled together, not that Harrow was the ruler and Sarai just sat around. She was a friend and top consultant to him as much as she was his wife, one half of his whole. I distinctly remember a scene where she basically tells him off, that an idea he and Viren had was a bad one, and both verbally and physically kicks his ass in the process. That was really telling of their relationship and made it all the more heart-wrenching when it shows how she died.

Another major part of this season is Callum’s quest for magic. In season one, he was using sky magic with the primal stone, but he destroyed it in an act of selflessness to hatch Zym. Here, he has once again found himself lost without any clear role in the group: he had noted before that he wasn’t a capable swordfighter and that when he was doing magic, it felt like his true calling more than anything else. He tries multiple times to connect to the primal source, even though he wasn’t born with it. However, possibly the biggest shocker was this moment:

…Oh my god. Callum, what are you doing? Callum, no! Don’t use dark magic! That’s not the way! Oh god, he’s using dark magic. We’re all screwed.

Nearly as much of a shocker moment as this is when, during a battle, Soren gets flung and lands in such a way that we hear a cracking sound. You may not think too much of this, until it becomes increasingly clear that he’s not getting back up again. However, the saddest part is when he reveals that he is actually relieved that he was injured, because it means that he wouldn’t have to go through with Viren’s order for him to kill the young princes.

This scene, man. This damn scene was hard to watch. It really shows the humanity that every character has, exposed as they go through the story and have to be put through so much.

And then… well, no more beating around the bush. Callum and Rayla: It’s gonna happen. Like, as usual, I won’t know for certain until/unless it does actually happen, but it’s looking more and more like it. But so far, it’s been handled really well. Rayla is first angry at Callum for using dark magic in the earlier scene, but it took a physical toll on him and he becomes very ill from it. While she first tries to hide it, over the scene it looks more and more like he won’t make it and she becomes seriously concerned for him and shows that she really does care about him. It looks as though she’s about to say something to him—a confession, maybe?—right before he recovers. To be honest, the way they’re building it up, it could either turn out to be a romance or a great friendship, but it feels very natural and I’m all for it either way. And if it is the former, I’m glad they aren’t pulling the typical romance clichés in cartoons, like having Callum crush heavily on Rayla (hell, he was crushing on Claudia up until she betrayed him this season) or having Rayla act in the tsundere, “I don’t like you, idiot” kind of way. But yeah, I’d love to see where this goes.

(Don’t worry about Callum, by the way. He’s not in danger, he’s just going through a really trippy fever dream that allows him access to sky magic.)

Other Stuff

As much as I’ve talked about everything else, the humor in this season is also really on-point, much more so than the last season! I found myself laughing out loud at a lot of points. That said, some of the more reference-based humor… doesn’t exactly hold up. Like, there’s a scene where Rayla pulls an extended Sailor Moon gag, and another where Callum literally says, “One does not simply walk into Xadia,” and… this Simple Minds reference:

Because in a medieval fantasy environment, everybody has seen The Breakfast Club, right? Perhaps the only one I can get behind is this credits gag with Aaravos imitating the Gatsby pose:

Which seems much more fitting there than in the show itself, since the credits are just filled with little gags like that.

As for questions about season three, most of my questions in my last post have been answered, but it did open up a few new questions. Who is Aaravos and what is his motivation? I’m assuming he’s an antagonist, but he could easily subvert our expectations. Will returning Zym back to the dragon queen really bring an end to the war? We’re only two seasons in out of a presumed six or seven, and I figured it would take a lot longer to get to Xadia than it did, but they’re already there, so it’s going to have to be stretched out a lot further, I figure. Finally, there’s a fan theory going around that King Harrow swapped bodies with Pip, Harrow’s bird. Is there any truth to that? We saw Pip escape in this season, so it could have been, but I don’t know.

Conclusion

Season two of The Dragon Prince was an improvement on season one in every way. The show really came into its own with this season, much more so than with the first one. I loved the characters, the animation, the worldbuilding, the soundtrack, and unlike the first season, which just left me feeling meh, this one actually makes me want to see a lot more, and… yeah, I’m a fan now. Congratulations, show. As Leonardo DiCaprio put it, you had my curiosity, but now you have my attention.

Once again, I implore you: don’t screw it up. But this time, I trust that you won’t.

~Spaceman

[serlymurly]

A RANT ABOUT CHARACTERS, CREATION, AND THE PROCESS OF BEING INSANE

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Let’s have a rant. A good, old fashioned rant about something that’s been nagging at my mind. First, paint the scene;

It’s 6 in the morning. The sun is rising outside. The love of my life is asleep in bed, our cat is in a box lined with a fuzzy blanket that I could have draped around my shoulders because frankly, it’s a bit cold. We have no creamer, and I think coffee wouldn’t help this headache that’s pounding away at my skull - and I have four people talking in my head.

Did I lose you yet? Probably not. It’s pretty straight forward. First - the puppy nailed to the wall. Four people talking in my head, what? Well - technically, I think they’re all me. But on a different level, only two of them are me. Got it?

One of me is going on about how this is all, in fact, a terrible idea and that to post any of this is to admit to a certain kind of insanity that I really shouldn’t be admitting to. This isn’t normal, on any level; I’ve never heard people talk about it, and the only person that I’m aware is actually on point with how I do things in writing is asleep.

The other part of me really wants banana bread, and frankly, I can’t fault that. Can you? Of course you fucking can’t, unless you’re allergic to bananas. Fuck yeah, banana bread.

Then, there’s the other two. One is a face that people who follow me are familiar with; James Oaklen. Don’t know who he is? Probably not! I’ll talk about him later. And he’s having a lovely conversation with this newest creation, this newest part of my intracranial house - Aeslen. But I won’t talk about her. Not yet.

So, yes. Four people. All adamantly talking their points, all actively going on and doing their own thing; existing in some level on a scene that I’ve always had in my head. Let’s explain that bit, shall we? Sorry this is disjointed - again, no coffee.

Flash back I don’t know how many years, and I was a young, young boy. I barely had any understanding of how to type; I’d never played a game outside of Banjo-Kazooie and Super Mario 64, games that required a controller.

I will spare the dirty details, but life at home was not perfect. There was yelling; there was hitting, there was strife, and a family that was slowly tearing itself apart. I could see the writing on the wall when I was 7, that’s how bad it was. So - my mom decides it’s a good idea to introduce me to this game she plays.

A game called Ultima Online.

And holy crap, that was amazing! I spent hours doing nothing of any importance on her computer, on our shitty internet in that crappy home in Ohio, just exploring this world with a character that I had created with my own two hands in a whole other world. This was a concept that I had never experienced; this was a new and exciting frontier for me. I named him Krill because that’s a COOL name and it sounds COOL. I gave him flaming red hair, I made him a paladin, and I spent hours just trying to kill skeletons in a really easy area at the start of the game because I kept forgetting how to fight things.

And then, one day, everything changed. UO, it turns out, maybe just the server I was on - had a very active community of this thing called ‘Role Players’. Weird, right? People who actively played out their characters as real, living things - in this world. Personalities, histories, everything. I stumbled on them by accident when I got lost in the big castle in the main town of the game.

There, at the time, was a bunch of high-end guilds. One was the Orcs (it was just people with orc masks on, but they pretended to be orcs and they rocked at it). There was the Highlanders (they wore kilts and I REALLY WANTED TO BE ONE). There was a merchant guild, and - all these other guilds I feel bad not remembering. And I was just this little seven-year old kid with a character named Krill with flaming red hair that walks into the middle of this big, IC meeting they were having. Imagine them responding to me with actual respect?

Imagine them actually… explaining what they were doing? With respect? I was so awestruck, I asked if I could play. They made me door guard. Boy, LET ME TELL YOU, I took that job so seriously. I stood just outside the meeting and I could see all their little talk, all while making sure nobody entered without permission. I was so hyped.

That, that stuck with me. Okay? Remember that. The idea - the concept that they had presented to me, this way that you could live another life through a digital form. That stuck with me.

But - well, things change. People. Lives. I never really got into the RP scene on that game; I wandered around and pretended to be part of things, but it was mostly them politely recognising me and letting me watch them do stuff. I only had an hour each day online, so it just - wasn’t enough. Eventually, my mom stopped paying for her UO account due to issues. So - back to the nintendo and other things.

Flash forward. Divorce imminent between the two parents. The world is collapsing around us children. My sisters are massive assholes, my brother and I feel like we’re alone together in a sea. So… in a desperate attempt to keep his spirits up, I introduce him to the concept. “Let’s pretend to be Link and go slay invisible monsters!”

Stupid, right? So we pick up sticks and start staying as far away from our house as we could. We’d talk about all the things we were fighting, we’d hit each other with ‘swords’, we’d drag our local friends into it! We just - disassociated. I think for him, it was mostly the swinging the sticks that was interesting; always fighting, always smacking things. But for me? I was using my mind to, you know. Envision such grandiose and wondrous things for us to be fighting! I was imagining landscapes, unspeakable monsters, and the type of person that I would be!

That evolved. Stuff happened again. We moved from where we’d been living to a new environment; Michigan. I like Michigan, don’t get me wrong; fucking love it there. But, well - we were young. I didn’t know anyone, and it was 5th grade. And then - more stuff happened.

I won’t go into nitty details, but one of my sister’s had a major incident occur. This lead to the family being put under more strain, which eventually finally snapped the cord. Grandparents died. One suddenly, one from cancer shortly after. A nasty, nasty divorce that left me feeling horrible. I was convinced that I could have stopped it - all of it. I was convinced that I should have; since I wanted to be that big hero, remember? Since I wanted to shoulder all the burdens.

I took it upon myself to never show any problems outwardly, after that point. I just smiled and acted silly and nobody really paid me much mind. “Oh, he’s always fine!” It’s about this time I got into (GASP) UO again. Freeservers, this time; technically, I think that was illegal, but who cares. I got deep into it; I made my first *real* RP character, who was of course a massive dork. Leone, a grey elf ranger that ate lemons - because I’d convinced *myself* that if you ate enough lemons, you could spit caustic spit? I don’t know, I was weird.

Leone would be my staple character for a long time. So long, in fact, that I began to wonder - as maybe we all do - where he stopped and I began. Sure, he was an elf with magic and grey skin - but personality wise, I felt he was a lot like me!

Then I learned that was a cardinal sin of roleplay. Apparently, you should never - EVER - make a character like yourself. You become too attached - which I did. You become too personally involved - which I did.

Games change, years move on. I went to SWG, I played a new character - Stodosmo Oci (horrible name I know). He was a security officer at a hospital! It was great. I loved it. It was a long, boring time of just sitting and watching doctors RP it out with patients in Mos Entha. And then.. I don’t know. Things. Again.

Went from there to WoW. Technically, I’d been in WoW since Vanilla - but the lore had never struck me as interesting enough to roleplay in seriously until just before BC released. I had a series of characters there, all sharing the same last name; Rodetan. Eventually, as Wrath came to a close, I decided to consolidate them into one large family tree.

WoW’s timeline sucks. That’s all you need to know about that.

Who remembers the early days of WRA? Alliance-side, there was a guild called ‘Stormwind’s Army’. Yes, it was just another military RP guild. Yes, we did a lot of patrolling and policing. It was fun, though; my character rose from an unwashed bum to chief recruitment officer. And then - drama happened. The guild split. I followed the ‘rebels’, and we formed the Vanguard of the Alliance (VotA). That was also fun.

Anyways, I’m sparing you all the nitty-gritty details - but this is where the story, once more, becomes interesting. After so long, VotA eventually fell apart. We all went our separate ways, and eventually three of the officers let me know that they’re still RPing in-game with this new group - Blood of Arathor, I think it was called. I’m asked if I want to join them. I say - sure, but not on the character I’d been using.

At the time, I was - kind of embarrassed of that character. I still am. He’s my best success story, yes, but he felt - I don’t know. Too close to me, in some ways that I won’t get into. So I thought - why not make a NEW character?!

OH BOY.

But there was a problem. And this is what most of this rant was building up to.

I had to build a new character.

From scratch.

Alright, that doesn’t sound so bad, does it? - Except somewhere along the line of creating him - he came alive. In designing him, in creating his personality - I suddenly found that I was physically talking to myself - and in my mind, this quiet man was responding. James Oaklen, Knight of Stromgarde, was telling me about himself.

His goals. His life. His loves. His interests. All about himself; his world. How he felt about certain foods, how he felt about everything.

At the time - I had very, very acute problems in the real world. I was taking drugs, drinking heavily, I was obnoxiously depressed to the point of being borderline suicidal - and… well, this happened. What did it mean?

Don’t answer that. It’s not a real question, because it doesn’t matter.

I accepted that he was who he was - and he’s become one of my favorite recurring personalities in my characters. And he’s not the only one, anymore. At some point, this - new way of creation, this way to create characters that exist in my own mind - just, settled in.

So.. I wanted to document how it works. Sort of. Maybe you at home can replicate it?

I start by closing my eyes. I think about what races there are to choose from, what classes or skillsets; and then I just… start to see a person. Whoa, weird, huh? Just an outline. A faint outline.

So, we reach out with our mind, and we call to them; and they slowly come forward. We get an imprint, a basic idea for what they look like, in our minds. So - we go to the creator and we try to do that. As close as possible.

Then we look at the character. Scars; how did they get them? Each scar is a story in itself, and as you look - they begin to tell you about each one. As if just explaining casually. James has a scar along his neck, which he earned when he almost died defending his Lady - something that he constantly thinks about as a time that he failed.

Or, other big features? James - again, using him as an example - has a large, bushy black moustache. It’s his family’s staple, a sign of their masculinity and proof that an Oaklen has come of age.

And so on. Then, by the time we get to the point where we have to name them, they’ve already told us the most important things. We don’t just have a vague outline in our little mind shack; now, we have a PERSON. And the name? Well… That’s a limitation of the system, baby. Pick something as close to what resembles the name they called themselves, and stick to it.

I could go into more depth. I could go into the process of creating a video where I create a character, but - well, why? It’s just this vague idea that I want to get across right now. I really doubt anyone will read this five-to-seven page long spiel all the way through. But it’s just - interesting, to me. It constantly is there, this - process, these characters, these people. And not just them; worlds come just as easily. Is that the product of an over-active imagination from a man that was desperately seeking to avoid reality and paint a better fiction for himself to sit in? Probably.

But… I don’t know. When it boils down to it, I just let it happen. I get ideas in my head all the time for wondrous worlds, characters and things - but the most agonizing problem is that they can never seem to translate into text or print. I can’t paint worth a damn, I can barely draw - and the one medium I have for escape, Roleplay, is something that I barely do anymore.

So - how do I make it stop? Do I want to make it stop? Should I? How do I harness this? How do I focus it into something specific?

If you made it this far, congratulations. I don’t know how to end it, so I’m just tagging all the mmo’s I’ve ever played or remember playing for giggles. Kudos if you get all of them!