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#but he’ll work that out when he has to
mirthmave · 10 days
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I’m currently writing an AU Under the Red Hood where Jason doesn’t go after Bruce and Joker. Instead Talia helps him get a handle on his anger and he decides he’s going to go back to Gotham and help the way we know (and love) him for. And if by chance he crosses paths with a certain clown then he’ll deal with him himself.
Progress begins to be shown in Crime Alley, much to the police and vigilante’s annoyance (and somewhat respect) when it comes out that the Mayor has been arrested for corruption.
And then Jason gets an idea.
A marvellous idea.
A marvellously, fun idea.
Since he’s done such good work in Crime Alley, he has the experience to show that he has the experience to be Gotham’s Mayor.
And so, Red Hood decides that he’s going to run for Mayor of Gotham.
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fuumiku · 4 months
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It was Maid Day today yesterday a week ago so I got struck by inspiration to draw the worsties, and it ran away from me into a whole AU where they’re coworkers at a maid cafe. She’s a med student & this is just a part time job, and this is his depression job while he gets his life back together. He needs something he can be workaholic about to forget what it’s like having a personal life and personal issues. He’s actually the accountant, but the new hire janitor (Izutsumi) doesn’t show up for half her shifts and is a sloppy worker, so he gets the extra work of doing her job on top of his because he’s undervalued and overworked. Of course, janitors also have an uniform to keep the aesthetic cohesion as they go about cleaning the place, of course.
Senshi’s the part time cook you only see slivers off, he’s kind and warm when you do see him and have a chat but most shifts he’s in and out the kitchen without a trace. Laios and Falin are regulars because Falin and Marcille are besties & in the same med school, Laios accompanies Falin as she visits her friend at work and gets hooked on the food. Chilchuck has to remind Marcille to work instead of chatting with Falin for an hour, and next thing he knows she’s distracting him from work too. That’s it that’s the AU. Inspired by this idol AU fanart a bit <3
This was not meant to be birthday gift but well…… Happy bday Chil!!!
Read from left to right
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#Dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#Chilchuck tims#marcille donato#spoilers#dunmeshi au#Maid cafe au#Marchil#Workwife marchil save me. Kabuholm in the background bc i said so lmao#i think people forget marci n chil are coworker worsties first and foremost. Ppl should capitalize on it more#The orange hair swag that makes him look like a marketable idol more#You can tell idk how to draw maid outfits. I hate those hats sm I will miku miku beam them out of existence#Marcille does change her hairstyle everyday btw#they don’t get back together btw she goes you haven’t talked to me in 4 years and he immediately goes YOU haven’t talked to ME in 4–#i mean ehem i’m sorry haha… while Marcille is like 4 years?! 4 years…#Mei only did it bc Fler has been getting jittery again kept sighing#I wanted to draw Chil with a car key at his belt but it wasn’t meant to be#idk if marchil ever gets together in this one it’s an eternal summer coworker with tension situationship au#romance is when you slowly deteriorate his work ethics so he starts skipping on his worktime to spend it at the front messing around w you#once he’s blessedly in the office and he hears this huge crash and the Marci just goes ‘…… Chiiiiiil?’ cue sigh and having to repair#the coffee machine. So many lil comics i couldn’t indulge myself to draw save me#shoutout to the time as a cashier in training at a convenience store I was left by my coworker who was supposed to wash the greasy chicken#oven but didn’t so I had to clean it for the first time myself while I was alone in the store and was also supposed to man the front#Shoutout to my convenience store’s accountant helping us with cashier duties often when there was less job to do ty ty#Understaffed struggles are so real#People also call Chil a manager because the boss is most often away so he just does everything#There’s no union but maybe one day he’ll get to overthrow the boss idk#The pay IS good at least#Modern au
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seiwas · 5 months
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everytime i think about ex!bakugo, i get so emotional thinking about how he carries on with his day-to-day like the breakup didn’t happen.
he doesn’t even give himself time to mourn the relationship, to process the loss of you. he throws himself into work, practically drowning in it because he can’t bear staying idle.
you’re everywhere, still—
in the picture frames scattered around his home, in the decorative pieces that each hold their own memory. some of the clothes you returned to him smell like you.
when kirishima asks him how he is, he never answers, always redirecting the subject back to work. deku notices longer bouts of silence during joint patrols, and when he pries, bakugo’s only reply is, “s’not a concern.”
it’s unusual, because bakugo is loud and rough, he barks and barks and barks, but with this, he stays quiet.
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turtleblogatlast · 5 months
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Small but significant character moments that I actually really adore are from both the times we see the boys as tots. There is a reoccurrence that happens in both of them that I find so incredibly interesting.
For the turtle tot short, Splinter leaves the boys with weapons. In the short, Raph is the one who suggests they do “what Lou Jitsu would do” and Leo is the one who takes point when Splinter comes back to reprimand them. Leo, in taking point, is the one to defend them and get Splinter off their tails.
And then, in the flashback regarding the Kuroi Yōroi helmet, Raph is the one who grabs and throws “Skully” as a way to replace their missing ball which breaks it into pieces, but Leo is the one who speaks for the group and rushes into action to fix the teapot.
I love this for multiple reasons, but the biggest are how it shows that Raph has always been inclined toward the bold and fun and making the plans to include his brothers in what he loves and believes they’d love, whereas Leo has always been inclined to be the “Face” of the group and shoulder the attention even if it’s potentially negative all while coming up with on the spot attempts to fix the situation.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rottmnt leo#rise Raph#rise leo#I really do love this bit of character writing a ton#again it’s so small but like this is consistent!#little Raph just wanted to have fun with his bros 😭#Leo immediately coming in with the save both times (and more - remember Bug Busters?)#I really love too how none of them pointed fingers like#it was Understood that Leo would speak for them#listen there’s a reason Leo is the Face Man and it’s NOT just because he’s got a pretty face#he can talk both himself and his fam out of situations and I wish we saw it even more because it’s amazing to witness#circling back to Raph his bold nature is something I ADORE about him but I don’t see it brought up a lot which makes me so sad#like this boy is a RAPHAEL he is bold!!#and it’s cute too how the other bros immediately go along with it too#imo the Raph in these tot flashback is the same Raph that glues them all together as a bonding exercise#side note but damn…Leo saves them from punishment in the tot short and immediately gets jumped 😔#but yeah man I think a Lot about the little dynamics between the bros and how those dynamics could have first came into being#Leo being the face of the team and having been it since childhood-#-makes all the moments of immediately choosing to sacrifice himself when HE royally messes up all the more notable#if it’s one bro or the whole group individually he’s more chill about it but often still lets himself be the talker to get them out of it#he will do his damndest to get his brothers and himself out of trouble but once they’re in it he’s in the front with a smile#his own safety be damned#Raph is actually the same in that respect - he’ll jump into danger fists first but all bets are off when a brother is in danger#and like how Leo’s been the face - as the eldest Raph has been the de facto leader of sorts#he’s the one who is shown to make up their games! and I think that’s very cute#anyway their clashing in the movie is so interesting for a lot of reasons but one of them is that it shows how-#-even a longstanding dynamic like Raph and Leo’s that’s WORKED for so long is still susceptible to flaws…and to time
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sreppub · 2 years
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saw many comments about no one ever believing dc superhero girls brucie could be batman :’) and clark is kind of a dick, so. made me think
dw, he’s still clark and im a superbat girlie; he’ll make it right afterwards :’’’’)
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navarice · 2 years
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what i love so much about wei ying is how much he actually loves children. like he canonically is a good mentor/father figure and he wants to have kids of his own someday. it tears me apart inside thinking about how much he suppresses with jin ling because…that’s his shijie’s son, and in another world, he would’ve been the best uncle jin ling ever had. and with a-yuan being his “little one”, he was so heartbroken every time he thought a-yuan probably didn’t make it out of the burial mounds. in yi city, he was the ideal teacher: giving the disciples chances to figure out the solution for themselves and getting some hands on experience by guiding them on what to look for when night hunting…
lan zhan and wei ying’s dynamic with children is so special because anyone with half a brain can tell they care so much about all the kids they come across. truly after the war, with all the orphans and complicated family dynamics, to watch two people who mutually love and support each other through hell and back also simultaneously adopting every broken child is so healing, even when it doesn’t work out in the end.
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ambyandony · 4 months
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every time I draw pannacotta fugo in sketches he’s always just holdin papers n shit 😭
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milksnake-tea · 24 days
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sometimes i think about the way sunday is 100% fine with doing fucked up things as long as he thinks the people he’s doing those things to deserve them
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quietwingsinthesky · 4 months
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the doctor is emotionally manipulative. he’s very good at it, and even better at justifying it both to himself and the people he’s doing it to. he can see when his approval, his affection, is valuable enough to someone that withholding it will be an effective way of getting them to do what he wants. this is one of his best flaws, that he’ll do this to people and do it to them for his own definition of what’s good for them.
(gestures vaguely) twissy.
#I LIKE THIS ABOUT HIM. I FEEL LIKE I HAVE TO KEEP SAYING THAT. I like this. its a very good flaw. its very consistent.#its there in all iterations of him (that i’ve seen)#in early episodes with rose he’ll get angry and emotionally withdrawn when she pokes at his trauma. and he knows that it’ll work because in#her own words: don’t argue with the designated driver.#he does it to jack like. a lot in utopia. his judgment only has so much sway over jack because jack is Obsessed with him and he knows that.#jack unsettles him. he uses that control to feel less unsettled. especially when he can’t do it to the actual threat of that finale: the#master. (though. he tries. that’s what the whole ‘i forgive you’ thing is about.)#eleven is practically Made of this impulse. he does it to amy. he does it to river. he does it to rory to a much lesser extent but that’s#because rory has. a vague idea? of how to have healthy boundaries. if not with amy then at least with the doctor.#that’s why his speech about people wanting to impress the doctor making him dangerous is so important. rory can See what he’s doing.#and twelve. obviously. does this to clara. clara also does it right back. this is why they are made for each other alsjjfgjakdj.#and. he does it to missy. because. and i cannot emphasize this enough. he keeps her. in a box.#I ENJOY THIS ABOUT HIM. HE’S A FUCKED UP LITTLE GUY!!!! WITH ISSUES ABOUT HOW HE REALLY REALLY WANTS TO IMPOSE HIS OWN MORALITY ONTO PEOPLE#HE KNOWS HE SHOULDNT BUT HE ALSO GETS FRUSTRATED AND HE DOES IT ANYWAY!!!!#and sometimes it’s unintentional. sure. sometimes it *really really* isn’t though. like.#and sometimes it’s both. sometimes it’s the result of him lashing out and reaching for a familiar coping mechanism in the moment.#but the point is the doctor does this.#doctor who
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lailuhhh · 1 month
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Okay okay so I had this AU idea but it’s not something I could pull off so I’m here going to yell about it because I can’t stop thinking about it. And maybe because I think you’d write it so well
What if Mac didn’t want to join the army? What if Harry or James forced him too? And he’s been banned from coming home(for a specific period of time). Is it because Harry’s sick and dying and doesn’t want his grandson to see him like this? Is it James for a more sinister specific reason?
So Mac doesn’t want to be there. He wants to go home. He’s had basically bad experiences with most of the people he’s interacted with(I’m a sucker for Mac’s previous overwatches being awful to him) and Peña was the exception but he’s gone and now he’s stuck with Dalton and he’s got so much time left here still and Dalton gets to go home soon.
They still don’t get along but Mac still saves Jack and he’s shocked when Jack stays because he gets to go home and choose to stay. Ahh it would be so interesting.
✨✨✨✨✨✨BESTIE✨✨✨✨✨✨
Okay what if Mac’s considered a troubled child? He has a record of everything that he’s done and really the only big thing was exploding the football field. He’s the weird kid but is still the Mac we know and love
Assuming everything is still pretty much the same, Harry and James still talk and James gets updates on everything Mac does and that was like the decision of him going to the army. Harry opposes it because he knows the horrors of it but doesn’t really have the final say in anything because while he’s technically Mac’s guardian, James is— unfortunately— still his father
Let’s assume Mac got a scholarship, but it’s really James setting his plan into place and through the magic of television, through signing all the paperwork and everything and getting the scholarship settled, Mac said he’d join the army when he turned 18
So Mac more or less gets literally escorted out of his dorm and shoved onto an army bus and taken away to basic, all while calling Harry trying to figure out what’s happening but Harry just tells him he signed a contract. Mac even calls the Bozers to try to help out because they actually care and don’t want him sent into a battlefield
Training and everything passes, old overwatches come and go, Peña is the only person who says the whole situation is fucked up and tells Mac he’ll look into it because legally the contract Mac signed was null and void because he signed as a minor without his guardian present so he really shouldn’t be there. James gets word of it because that’s just a big problem so he had a plan to keen him from finding anything out, but Peña ends up dying from the Ghost’s bomb and James doesn’t have to Deal With Him™️
At that point, Mac is pretty much cut off from everyone because he didn’t want to be there and the only person that seemed to care and believe him died. Then he gets transferred and the whole interaction with Jack happens and the scene where we see Mac disarm the IED with a battery and gum, how they’re kinda warming up to each other, Mac is still completely closed off because he just hates it there so much, even though Jack is trying to be a decent guy
And then when Mac goes off on his own—
“Now, we need to get on the same page, kid, and I mean right now. That is, if you want to keep breathing. Next time you wait for me to take my position before you go scampering off like that, you hear me?”
“Whatever. Not like it would’ve mattered.”
Which leads to a blowout of Mac yelling how much he hates it there and that he was basically kidnapped from college because he knew that, while he didn’t read the full contract, any agreements would’ve been void like Peña said because he was a minor and he didn’t have the power to consent to actually joining the army
When Mac saves Jack, it’s more of a if it was just me I wouldn’t really care but I’m not going to let you die just because my life sucks and Jack can see Mac going in a downward spiral and knows that if he doesn’t stay then Mac won’t make it out of the sandbox
The last few days is basically how they first met, but Jack’s making an effort to actually be the guy we know and love but Mac doesn’t want anything to do with it because Jack’s leaving and what’s the point of trying to be friends with someone you’ll never see again
So when Jack actually pops into the side of the humvee
“Why’d you come back? You had the opportunity to go home.”
“My home will still be there. I told ya before that I get all my bomb nerds home and yer no exception. You were dealt a real shitty hand and it’s fucked that no one will help ya get to the bottom of it. So I’m gonna stay here, make sure ya get home so you can stick it to those that fucked ya over”
So Mac’s tour gets finished, and since Jack actually holds power, they leave and Jack gets on contact with his buddies up the ladder to help get to the bottom of it and it takes a while but they eventually get the documents Mac signed and then consent forms signed by James and that just starts a whole whirlwind of the true James Hate we deserved
**Bonus points for if Harry died while Mac was deployed but they didn’t let him go home because James knew he would go AWOL so all his free days and leave had to be on base, also Mac assumed that Harry was the one that consented to him joining so he pretty much hated him until he found out the truth
All assuming Mac signed the scholarship forms when he was like 16 because you can legally sign up for the army when you’re 17
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stagefoureddiediaz · 9 days
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To use the word Hell was such a choice - like there was no need to use it - Tim could of just saud ‘who he is’ or some such.
But no he chose to use the word hell.
Hell as in heaven and hell. As in religion. As in we’ve been setting up an arc where Eddie has to reckon with his catholic faith (lapsed). That reckoning is a key part of who he is and his religion has always told him that gay = going to hell.
So Eddie figuring out who the hell he is means Eddie having to figure out what hell actually looks like to him and if that version of hell is better or worse than the version of hell Catholicism has created.
#Eddie realising buck is central to his life and his happiness when he doesn’t have him as easily available#but that Eddie isn’t perhaps as central to bucks life#and how that is what hell looks like to Eddie#and if that’s what he’ll looks like to him - a world without buck - what does that mean for him#who does that make him#if he no longer has Christopher to hide behind and he is then faced with reckoning with what else makes up his life#only to find Buck is also not as present because Tommy is there and Tommy is a version of#so what is it that Tommy has that Eddie doesn’t - why would buck choose a version of Eddie over the actual Eddie?#and if Tommy is another version of him then maybe Buck actually wants Eddie but Eddie isn’t gay#but Tommy came out when he was older - and Tommy is like him so maybe Eddie is like Tommy as well and isn’t as straight as he thought#and maybe if Eddie isn’t as straight as he thought then maybe who he is is a gay man#and if he’s a gay man then maybe his reltionship with Shannon didn’t work because it wasn’t meant to#because he loved her but it was always so hard and they never had each others backs#but buck has always had his back and buck hs always stepped up and helped and things are easy with him#it’s a real partnership and it fulfills him and he didn’t know that or how much until Buck isn’t there because he’s dating someone who is#a version of Eddie. someone who can give buck the only thing Eddie hasn’t been able to give buck#because Eddie has given him everything else - and buck hs given Eddie everything else#but if Eddie’s gay then he and buck can give each other the one thing that’s missing#but Eddie’s too late. excuse Tommy is there where Eddie should be#so maybe if he goes back to the church he can find a way to get over it - get over Buck and be happy for him#and maybe if he does that he’ll be a better person and then Chris will come home to him#but maybe if buck knows Eddie is an option because Eddie is gay- then if things don’t work out with Tommy buck will choose Eddie.#maybe maybe maybe#Eddie’s spiral in tags 😬#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#911 abc#evan buckley#anti bucktommy#Tommy is Eddie lite
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Traintober Day 3: Twins
“Hads you some Scottish twins angst”
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“Thinking about my au and how Donald’s and Douglas entire story would work and I’m still not sure if adding this but in honor of traintober day 3:twins here it goes so here since my au is following more of sos storyline but still has rws/tv series tidbits the same thing still happens the twins flee to sodor scratched off the numbers but since it’s instead mr.Zorro and Mr.Starr, who are in charge has the two companies have not been melded together yet and despite mr.Zorro gruffness even he wouldn’t sent them back to a uncertain future and after talking about it with Mr Starr and within their respective engines they both agree on taking one of the twins for each of their respective companies Donald goes with nor’easters while Douglas with the midis.
So despite both twins being eventually purchased and thereby saved, they still end up “separated” from each other yes they can see each other it’s not forbidden but their coworkers fierce rivalry between each other separate company among other reasons slowly but surely begins to influence the twins themselves douglas is caught up in more criminal activities even with a guest nearly gone wrong (sorry Colin!!) and as a result of his coworkers toxic influence (diesel, Adam, Stanley mainly) the latter two who were against having him for personal reasons he began to like the independence forming bonds with those from similar origins/railway(Emily), those giving him a warm reception (Lily, Colin) or just those who welcomed him regardless of the whole rivalry(Peter, later Reginald).
Both receive praise and attention though I feel like Douglas more so felt a slight need to become one of the midis thanks to his coworkers’s attitude towards him like yes he’ll defend himself but it’s better to make friends than enemies when you’re the new guy with Mr.Zorro having favoritism and watching your every move combined with some rather unpleasant encounters from the nor”Easter’s side (mainly James who also unintentionally stains Donald rep but doesn’t say anything on it) I feel like a fight would come when Douglas come in painted blue as a reward where he is finally accepted into the midis where slowly but surely the cracks begin to show from when their visits to one another become sacred, withholding secrets (mainly on douglas’s side cause let’s be real I’m pretty sure no one wants to tell anyone you’re involved with criminal activity) just drifting apart from the brother you once thought you knew your entire life until it all eventually comes crashing down.
of course this is still a work in progress but this idea would be quite interesting. Reference:
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akkivee · 1 year
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he *gross sobbing* wrote naughty busters on his ichiro kite y’all 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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yaminerua · 1 year
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I once read a soulmate AU for a different fandom where the way the connection eventually manifested was that whatever someone wrote or drew on their own skin, it would transfer to their soulmate’s. And I was thinking of the applications of it for Rimster given that time Rimmer resorted to scrawling revision notes on his arms and legs.
Like, Lister’s probably used to occasionally seeing some exam notes and other things pop up on his skin from time to time given how often Rimmer takes exams but usually it’s been within relatively normal boundaries. He’s not gonna judge. He doesn’t know much about the person on the other end of their inked connection but he hopes with all the tests they seem to take that they’re doing well. Sometimes he’ll even scrawl a little ‘good luck!’ on himself as a kind of encouragement to them.
The very first time something like this happens, Rimmer freaks out. Because oh holy smeg he has a soulmate! There’s someone out there for him! A real honest to god person!! Meant for him!! All the years of his brothers teasing him, acting like the universe would just skip bothering to assign him one, are washed away to be replaced by an initially heart-bursting glow of elation, but it’s followed swiftly by a deep-seated dread. Because oh god anything he writes on himself will be seen by this other person. What if he smegs the whole thing up!? He’s already caught their attention with his revision scrawlings, he’s going to have to tone it down to something that won’t be off-putting…
Fast forward and Lister has joined the Red Dwarf crew and it’s like any other day. He’s left his annoying bunkmate to stew in pre-exam nerves and he’s out and about on the ship, maybe trying to flirt with some of the lady officers when suddenly he notices his hand rapidly becoming covered in words, scrawled in a panicked frenzy, first across his palm, then the back of his hand and down onto the forearm. And yeah, sure, this has happened before, it’s no big deal. Except this is the most chaotic it’s ever been, especially since it’s now trailing right up his arm and if he doesn’t get out of public view people are going to notice.
So he runs back to the bunk room, hoping to grab a jacket or something to cover it up but he freezes as soon as he’s half-pulled it on because he spots Rimmer. Smeghead Supreme, Arnold Judas Rimmer, sitting with a textbook on his lap and his shirt sleeve rolled up, utterly engrossed in his pre-exam stress-induced frenzy of copying as much of the text from the book onto his own skin as possible.
The realisation hits like a truck and Lister cannot believe it. He refuses to. It’s gotta be a coincidence. Rimmer wouldn’t be the only person in the universe cramming for an exam, surely! Just because he is doesn’t mean what he’s writing is the same as what’s still being hurriedly scrawled up the inside of his left arm. The universe wouldn’t play that cruel a trick on him! Surely!
Rimmer hasn’t even noticed him come in and he’s muttering out loud each word as he copies it out from the book and Lister can only watch in horror as he sees the exact same words blossom across his own skin and oh this CANNOT be happening!!
So now you have Lister knowing that the universe has somehow, bizarrely, chosen to pair him up with Rimmer, and Rimmer blissfully unaware of the fact that the soulmate he’s yearned for his whole life is the lazy gimboid who just interrupted his revision by tossing an unwashed shirt at his head.
#Rimmer becoming a hologram after the leak makes the AU a bit odd bc why would it still work on him in that form#but suspending disbelief and allowing it to happen that way allows for some fun stuff#where Rimmer is bemoaning the fact he never got to find out who his soulmate was supposed to be and Lister is there awkwardly like oh boy…#last two people in the universe and they’re soulmates and he still hates the idea but it’s really starting to look like it was always meant#to happen this way so he grabs a pen and writes Smeghead on his arm and Rimmer watches in HORROR#just absolute horror and then he goes full on into denial like no this isn’t right#it can’t have been you the whole time! You’re a man (he’ll figure out how he feels about that later) and also I’d have known if it was you!#he tries to convince himself the universe just reassigned them each other bc they’re the only two left#but lister has to reluctantly tell him about the exam revision notes and that he knew it was Rimmer since before the accident#also this only works in ur own dimension so Lister writing on himself will only show on his Rimmer but not Ace bc Ace has his own back home#But it means that lister is able to confirm that it’s HIS Rimmer returning from being Ace by seeing the text he writes appear on his skin#Rimster#Or it could happen during the exam where Rimmer has his I Am A Fish breakdown#lister just sees I am a fish appear on his arm repeatedly and only finds out later#when he gets told about Rimmer’s exam incident#red dwarf
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intcrastra · 19 days
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While Jing Yuan does hold Dan Feng and Yingxing so fondly in his heart, and will say it as such ( and truly DOES feel that way ), he also bears a heavy resentment against them both at the very same time. For leaving him, just as Baiheng and Jingliu did. For not asking him to come with them and partake in their plan, keeping him in the dark and ultimately leaving him alone to pick up the pieces of his heart after each and every loss.
He loves them dearly even now, but will never forgive them this.
#hc; jing yuan#//He would never act on it nor EVER want to admit it to Dan Heng in particular#//Esp when the man declared himself to be a different person to Dan Feng#//Jing Yuan respects that and has taken to remembering such; even with how hard it was to accept#//Part of why he is so unwilling to let go of those feelings are bc it helps keep them in his mind longer#//Clearer voices and images in his memories he can grudge against; means less likely to forget them as they were#//And he’ll be DAMNED before he lets either go#//His love and adoration for them will never waver nor change#//He holds a torch for them both; even now. even with how he feels regarding the Incident#//But even with that; he still carries a certain bitterness abt it all#//He was very angry in his grief immediately after the last time he saw Dan Feng. kept it together until that point#//Then just Shattered when he had a moment to himself. and subsequently forced himself to pull it together to keep going#//The resentment helped loads; up until talks with certain others and a certain young lad came into his life#//Then it was their support and the positive feelings they brought him through bittersweet nostalgia that really helped him most#//Still; even that is not enough to diminish the more negative feelings he does hold; not Entirely#//To this day; he’ll still find himself questioning DF&YX’s motives; if things could have been different if he’d been there. If he could ha#saved or ultimately died w them. Sometimes drives himself mad w the possibilities yet will never stop poking at the ache#//Bc that is the last thing they ever gave him—how could he think of casting it away so easily?#//Or smth; may come back and edit this jdbfnw#//It takes the right person to ever get it out of him; and even then it takes trust and prodding to make him admit it#//Once he does though; he can work to get over it and set that part of him at ease
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laniidae-passerine · 1 year
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I know some people are talking about Sally and Barry attempting to emulate their mentors in certain situations, which backfires on them, but I don’t think Barry gave up on trying to be Fuches halfway through. Actually, it was a perfect impression. When he started screaming down the line at Hank, it’s because that’s what Fuches does. Whenever Barry tells him firmly that it’s over and he’s not going to help Fuches anymore, Fuches loses his shit; he yells at Barry that he’s pathetic, he won’t survive without him, when I find you motherfucker! Barry’s mistake was failing to recognise that Hank isn’t him. Hank respects himself, genuinely cares about other people and, most importantly, won’t degrade himself just to feel like somebody loves him. But Barry absolutely would and, with all his other damage, that’s why he’s furious that Hank somehow says no to him.
#barry will always walk on his knees for a hundred miles through the desert#but Hank will ​let the soft animal of his body love what it loves#and he would never ever do himself damage for somebody to use him. Barry always does#I’m not defending Barry btw I’m not that vein of Barry fan I hope he explodes in an explosion and fuches and maybe gene comes with <3#but Barry has never been loved unselfishly. never been loved by somebody not using him. so he understands love as sacrifice and pain ONLY#love is not gentle. love is a thousand tiny needles. love is their teeth embedded in your heart#so when Hank - who knows love can be both sacrifice and tenderness that you expose the worst of you and have it kissed and not cut open -#when he doesn’t adhere to this system Barry has in his head (when he basically says ‘no. this not how love or the world really works.’)#Barry fucking loses it. The way Fuches loses it. because to them love is pain and if they don’t hurt you they don’t love you#and if they hurt you (no matter how awfully) then you forgive them in the end. you get to be a little upset. but you always go back. always#but Hank won’t and he doesn’t need to! he is loved openly and honestly and any pain comes from having to grow and understand not from abuse#and Barry loathes him for it. he hates it. and he’s never going to get out and he’ll never be free. he is sick sick sick#and there’s not a cure in the world for it anymore#not when he let it fester and get worse and worse and worse. and now it’s over before it’s over.#ANYWAYYYYT#barry#barry hbo#monroe fuches#noho ​hank#barry berkman#edit: yeah turns out Hank will also kill it though. oops!
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