#like Harry felt horrible for everything and still leaves everything to Mac

[lailuhhh]

Okay okay so I had this AU idea but it’s not something I could pull off so I’m here going to yell about it because I can’t stop thinking about it. And maybe because I think you’d write it so well

What if Mac didn’t want to join the army? What if Harry or James forced him too? And he’s been banned from coming home(for a specific period of time). Is it because Harry’s sick and dying and doesn’t want his grandson to see him like this? Is it James for a more sinister specific reason?

So Mac doesn’t want to be there. He wants to go home. He’s had basically bad experiences with most of the people he’s interacted with(I’m a sucker for Mac’s previous overwatches being awful to him) and Peña was the exception but he’s gone and now he’s stuck with Dalton and he’s got so much time left here still and Dalton gets to go home soon.

They still don’t get along but Mac still saves Jack and he’s shocked when Jack stays because he gets to go home and choose to stay. Ahh it would be so interesting.

✨✨✨✨✨✨BESTIE✨✨✨✨✨✨

Okay what if Mac’s considered a troubled child? He has a record of everything that he’s done and really the only big thing was exploding the football field. He’s the weird kid but is still the Mac we know and love

Assuming everything is still pretty much the same, Harry and James still talk and James gets updates on everything Mac does and that was like the decision of him going to the army. Harry opposes it because he knows the horrors of it but doesn’t really have the final say in anything because while he’s technically Mac’s guardian, James is— unfortunately— still his father

Let’s assume Mac got a scholarship, but it’s really James setting his plan into place and through the magic of television, through signing all the paperwork and everything and getting the scholarship settled, Mac said he’d join the army when he turned 18

So Mac more or less gets literally escorted out of his dorm and shoved onto an army bus and taken away to basic, all while calling Harry trying to figure out what’s happening but Harry just tells him he signed a contract. Mac even calls the Bozers to try to help out because they actually care and don’t want him sent into a battlefield

Training and everything passes, old overwatches come and go, Peña is the only person who says the whole situation is fucked up and tells Mac he’ll look into it because legally the contract Mac signed was null and void because he signed as a minor without his guardian present so he really shouldn’t be there. James gets word of it because that’s just a big problem so he had a plan to keen him from finding anything out, but Peña ends up dying from the Ghost’s bomb and James doesn’t have to Deal With Him™️

At that point, Mac is pretty much cut off from everyone because he didn’t want to be there and the only person that seemed to care and believe him died. Then he gets transferred and the whole interaction with Jack happens and the scene where we see Mac disarm the IED with a battery and gum, how they’re kinda warming up to each other, Mac is still completely closed off because he just hates it there so much, even though Jack is trying to be a decent guy

And then when Mac goes off on his own—

“Now, we need to get on the same page, kid, and I mean right now. That is, if you want to keep breathing. Next time you wait for me to take my position before you go scampering off like that, you hear me?”

“Whatever. Not like it would’ve mattered.”

Which leads to a blowout of Mac yelling how much he hates it there and that he was basically kidnapped from college because he knew that, while he didn’t read the full contract, any agreements would’ve been void like Peña said because he was a minor and he didn’t have the power to consent to actually joining the army

When Mac saves Jack, it’s more of a if it was just me I wouldn’t really care but I’m not going to let you die just because my life sucks and Jack can see Mac going in a downward spiral and knows that if he doesn’t stay then Mac won’t make it out of the sandbox

The last few days is basically how they first met, but Jack’s making an effort to actually be the guy we know and love but Mac doesn’t want anything to do with it because Jack’s leaving and what’s the point of trying to be friends with someone you’ll never see again

So when Jack actually pops into the side of the humvee

“Why’d you come back? You had the opportunity to go home.”

“My home will still be there. I told ya before that I get all my bomb nerds home and yer no exception. You were dealt a real shitty hand and it’s fucked that no one will help ya get to the bottom of it. So I’m gonna stay here, make sure ya get home so you can stick it to those that fucked ya over”

So Mac’s tour gets finished, and since Jack actually holds power, they leave and Jack gets on contact with his buddies up the ladder to help get to the bottom of it and it takes a while but they eventually get the documents Mac signed and then consent forms signed by James and that just starts a whole whirlwind of the true James Hate we deserved

**Bonus points for if Harry died while Mac was deployed but they didn’t let him go home because James knew he would go AWOL so all his free days and leave had to be on base, also Mac assumed that Harry was the one that consented to him joining so he pretty much hated him until he found out the truth

All assuming Mac signed the scholarship forms when he was like 16 because you can legally sign up for the army when you’re 17

[celestialrry]

heart of gold

(this is like a pt.2 to gold rush, also very loosely based off Heart of Gold by Neil Young)

Based off this request!: Aww I loved gold rush!! I lowkey could see a part 2 somewhere down the line.. kinda like time stamps of their relationship... like when they started dating, when their families find out, etc. but that’s just me being greedy 😂😂 love your work!

Thank you so much for asking! Give me more requests! (I strictly write for the readers so I won’t put any names or anything)

2.8k

summary: Harry and you get closer than you both ever thought was possible.

warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption, mentions of sex, fluff

Christmas Eve & Day

After the two of you officially dropped all hate towards each other it was a bit awkward. You both walked back into the living room to join everybody, who seemingly enough, was oblivious that the two of you were on good terms now. This was because you both didn’t say much to each other at all. It had been insults upon insults for the past 3 years or so, and you had no idea what to say. You had to stop yourself from pointing out when he made a mistake in monopoly, and he had to bite back words about the way you were drinking your  wine, even though there wasn't anything wrong with it, he actually found it quite cute. Soon enough, you and your mom had decided to go back home as the snow was building up and it was already almost 10 p.m. You hugged Anne and Gemma goodbye, hesitating before giving Harry a quick hug to which he was pleasantly surprised by. You went home, and all you could think about wasn't how annoying Harry was, but how much you overlooked him. Because lets be honest, you always found him attractive to say the least, and now that you didn't hate him anymore he somehow got hotter. 

After you woke up the next morning and exchanged a few gifts with your mom, both changing into the Christmas pajamas you got each other, you sat at the table, eating the pancakes the two of you had made. You savored the sweet taste of the syrup, and laughed as the two of you sang horribly to Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. A knock at your door made the two of you almost break your necks turning towards the noise. “I’ll check.” You mumbled, standing up and taking a sip of your water before scurrying to the door. You opened it to see Harry bundled up standing outside, his nose and cheeks tinted pink from the cold. 

“Oh my god, Harry.” You said, pulling his arm and dragging him inside your house. “What are you doing? It’s below freezing outside.”  You asked him, brushing some snow off of his sleeves. 

“I have a present f’you.” He smiled, his dimples popping up, looking you up and down, “I like your pajamas.”

 You smiled at him and bit your lip in an attempt to not roll your eyes. You were about to bite back but then your brain processed his words and your jaw dropped and your brows lowered in frustration. “I- I’m so sorry Harry, I didn’t know we were doing presents, I don't have one for you.” You looked into his eyes. 

“Wasn't expecting’ one, love,” Your cheeks heated up at his words, he never called you that before. He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a little red box, wrapped in a tiny golden bow. “Here.” 

You gently grabbed it out of his hands and looked at it for a moment before looking back to Harry. He was smiling, but you could tell he was nervous from his shaking hands. Or maybe they were still cold, but you wanted to believe the former. 

“Do you want me to open it now? Or-” 

“Y’can open it later, plus I have t’get back to m’mum and Gems, but uh, yeah.” He rushed out. 

“Okay, thank you Harry, it means a lot,” You said, hesitating before pecking him on the cheek again. “Merry Christmas.” 

“Merry Christmas.” He smiled like a fool, giving you a hug before waving a goodbye and stepping out of your house.

You didn't have but two seconds before you turned around to see your mom grinning at you. “What was that?” She asked, even though you knew for sure that she listened to the entire conversation. 

“Um, I don't know.” You shrugged honestly.

New Years Eve 

You looked at your phone buzzing and smiled, picking it up. 

“Hey H.” You said, rotating the ring on your right middle ringer with your thumb. It was silver, with little bears in the detailing. “Hey love, was jus’ wondering if y’wanted to go to a little party with me tonight. It’s at m’friends house.”

Your eyes widened. “Um, yeah sure,” You said, cursing yourself for agreeing too quickly. “Can you send me the address?” You asked. It was only 9 a.m. but still.

“No need, m’gonna pick you up and take y’home and all that stuff.” He said through the phone and you bit back a massive grin. 

“Oh, thank you.” You said, holding your hand out and looking at the ring he got you for Christmas. when you opened it with your mom the second after he left you were surprised to say the least. It was too expensive for you, after your mom recognized it as Gucci, and you had called him afterwards to thank him profusely, after getting his phone number off of the little slip of paper that came in the box as well, with the small note “To being friends :) text me!”

“The least I can do, pet. Send m’your address? I’ll pick y’up 8 sharp.”  

You berated yourself for loving the pet name he gave you, and said you would, as well as thanking him again to which he scolded you for being so nice. After your goodbye’s you hung up, looking at the blank contact photo. I should take one for it tonight, you thought. After you texted him later on Christmas Day, the two of you had been texting back and forth, trying to squeeze 3 years of not knowing each other into a few days. It was difficult but you had learned a lot about him, and vice versa. It was safe to say you were loving it.

Later that evening you had put on your outfit and did your makeup and felt butterflies, of pure excitement of course, when Harry texted you a “Here x.” You answered with a “Be out in a sec!” before grabbing your bag and making sure you had your keys and wallet and everything else before stepping out fo your house into the snow, locking your door and turning around, walking carefully to his car. 

You got in the passenger seat and could clearly see him look you up and down before giving you a big smile. “Y’look really good, love.” You shyly looked away from him before complimenting him yourself. “Thank you H, you look very handsome.” You said, looking him up and down and noting his trousers and button down with sweater vest. 

“Thanks.” He blushed, and this time you weren't annoyed by his reaction to a compliment. He started driving and turned on Fleetwood Mac and this is when you had learned that he was actually good friends with Stevie Nicks, and when he said that you were sure that your brain had actually burst. 

It was enjoyable small talk all the way there and when you pulled up to the massive house, your eyes widened. “Holy shit, who’s party is this?” You asked, stepping out of the car with Harry. 

“M'friend Mike’s. C’mon, don't want you t’freeze to death.” He joked, grabbing your hand and leading you to the front door, making sure you didn't slip on ice. Harry just walked in, pulling you behind him, and you looked around at all the people laughing and dancing to the music. It was more of an adult party, no 20 year old’s grinding on each other and getting absolutely wasted, which you were happy about. Even though you were only 22, you felt more mature for your age.

Harry had let go of your hand at this point, but kept a hand on your back to make sure you stayed near him. He was set on not leaving your side all night, he wouldn’t make that mistake again. Harry was a very open person he liked to believe, and it was very difficult for him to pretend he just wanted to be friends with you. He found you absolutely gorgeous, and even after seeing your worst, he found himself liking you more and more. He would give anything to hold you and kiss you in front of everyone, but it had to be too soon for you both, after all you had been friends for only 5 days now. He supposed his feelings had been building up since he met you, because it was impossible to fall for someone as much as he did you, that fast.

It also didn't help that you were younger than he was. Sure 3 years wasn't that much, but the next relationship he gets into he want’s it to be long term and last, he was almost 30 and felt like he was running out of time.

As people approached the two of you, Harry introduced you as “M’good friend,” and then said your name, after everyone had been asking him if the two of you were dating. His cheeks were flushed as you both denied it, and laughed it off. 

You had been introduced to his friends Sarah and Mitch, whom he had talked about before, and you were truly excited to meet them and get to know them. Mitch was more closed off, but Harry had told you before that it didn’t have anything to do with you and it was just how he was. Sarah on the other hand gave you a hug and kiss on the cheek before complimenting you, which you quickly did back. 

The night was fun, and soon enough it was a few minutes until midnight. Harry had kept his promise to himself, and stayed with you all night, enjoying himself more than he should. He didn't bring you with the intention to kiss you at midnight, although he would love that, and then get in your pants, he wouldn't be complaining about that either, but as it was nearing midnight he started thinking more about it. Your brain was racing as the clock started counting down, wondering if you and Harry would kiss. You wanted to, that much was true, but the question was if he did. 

“10, 9, 8,” Everyone started shouting. The champagne in your system told you to turn to Harry and you looked at him as it started to get to 3. He turned to look at you as well, a smile on his face. “2, 1!” Everyone yelled, and you leaned in as did Harry. His lips slotted perfectly with yours and when you both pulled away you were both smiling too much. “Was that okay,” You started to ask him and he leaned in a bit closer to hear you. “I didn't ask, I’m so sorr-”

You were interrupted by his lips against yours once more, and he pulled away to peck your lips a few more times, his arms wrapped tightly around your waist. You were pretty sure it was okay, now.

February 12th

Harry had celebrated his birthday with a few of his closest friends and his family. It was fun, and he enjoyed the day, but all he wanted was to see you. You had work the entire day and you got off at 10 p.m. so you knew you wouldn’t be able to make it to the party, but after you got off, you drove to his house, not seeing any other cars in the driveway. You had locked on the door and he opened it a minute or so later, his eyes lighted up as you wished him a Happy Birthday and gave him his present. He brought you inside and thanked you with kisses and hugs before opening it to see a new writing journal and a Gucci ring you saved up for. It was the one of the cheapest one they sold, just a silver band with flowers engraved on the band. He absolutely loved it, and wanted to show you how thankful he was, and you ended up spending the night. 

It had been a few weeks since then, and Harry and you had yet to put a label on anything, but he would take you out on dates and cook you dinner, and you did the same for him throughout January and February. Tonight, you had just planned to stay in, already in your pajamas when Harry showed up at your door with sunflowers. 

You let him in and took the flowers, filling a vase with water before putting them in. “Thank you.” You said, giving him a quick kiss. “I didn't miss a special occasion did I?” 

He hesitated before replying. “I hope it would be a special occasion in the future,” You raised a brow before he spoke again, saying your name. “Will y’be m’girlfriend?” 

You smiled and said “Of course.” before kissing him once more. Only a few days later did you accidentally let it slip to your mom before making her vow to wait to talk to Anne about it before Harry told her himself. 

February 21st

Harry was nervous, if that was an even strong enough word to describe the way he felt at the moment. You and Harry had decided to travel back to Holmes chapel to tell his mom the two of you were dating.  That wasn't what scared him though. You had told Harry on Valentines Day when he cooked dinner for the two of you, that your mom already knew. You had agreed on no gifts, but of course you both ended up giving each other flowers and chocolate. 

Harry was scared of seeing your mom for the first time since she learned the two of you had begun dating. It usually took a long time for Harry to ask someone out, the media always found out somehow and he was always scared that as soon as the hate started to arrive they would leave, because they didn't know him that well, so why stay? But it was different with you, he had known you for years, and sure while those few years weren't the best, it was because of a stupid reason on both of your accounts, and once he got to truly know you, he didn't want to wait. 

He was serious about you, and if your mom started to dislike him as your boyfriend, he wouldn't know what to do. As you arrived in the driveway of your house, Anne and Gemma had already gotten there and your mom had told you they would all prepare dinner for your arrival. You could just tell she was itching to tell them, even over the phone. 

As Harry put the car in park and turned it off, he shakily breathed out a little, thinking you wouldn’t notice. 

“Hey, what's wrong?” You asked gently, your hand resting on his arm. 

He thought wrong.

“M’just a bit nervous is all.” He shrugged, trying not to show all that he was feeling at the moment. 

You squeezed his arm a bit too, and brought your other hand to his jaw to turn his head to you. “So am I, but everything is going to be fine. My mom is already in love with us, and I’m sure your mom will be too.” You laughed a bit.

He nodded and gave you a quick kiss before stepping out of the car and grabbing your hand as you walked up to him. You both walk to the door and you knock on the door, waiting out in the cold weather. Harry looked at you before deciding to wrap his arm around your was it instead, in an effort to warm you up. Your cheeks heated up at the gesture and you leaned into him when the door was opened by your mom. She looked between the two of you and a smile burst out on her face as she ushered the two of you in, bringing you in for a hug before hugging Harry and whispering a “I can already tell you make her really happy.” before letting go. he blushed and thanked her softly before she led the two of you into the dining room where Anne and Gemma were already sat. 

Harry had decided to not announce it immediately, and so you were no longer holding hands as you walked into the dining room. They left two seats open next to each other for the two of you and as Harry walked around and greeted his mom and sister, you smiled and said hello to them as well when you sat down. Soon he took the seat next to you and grabbed your hand under the table. 

A little while into dinner, silence fell and Harry cleared his throat, seizing the opportunity. “Um, I just wanted t’say something,” He said not so confidently, and you squeezed his hand. He spoke your name and nodded to you then said, “and I are dating, have been since February 12th t’be exact.” 

You smiled and looked around the table, expected to see shocked faces, but only grins were found. 

“We were wondering when the two of you would tell us!”

Ahhh this was really fun to write! Thank you so much for reading and thank you to whoever asked this (I forgot the @ :( and the message got deleted after I responded to you). I felt kinda eh about this ending but it’s whatever <3

[jlalafics]

“You, soft and only, you lost and lonely”-an Everlark Halloween fic

This isn’t technically scary, but I was going for supernatural rom-com. Hopefully this lived up to that.

Happy Reading!

Summary: Peeta couldn’t remember who he was. However, he knew he didn’t want Katniss Everdeen invading his apartment. Based on the movie “Just Like Heaven”.

__________

Daylight licked me into shape

I must have been asleep for days

And moving lips to breathe her name

I opened up my eyes…

-The Cure

_________

Peeta hated driving in the rain. However, what he hated more was breaking promises.

Not to mention, Alba would never forgive him if he didn’t show up and she would get his sister on him as well.

Making a sharp right leading to the freeway, Peeta looked down at his pager quickly to make sure that there weren’t any pages coming in. Finding it completely silent, he turned up the music on his radio and prepared himself for a night of lectures and meatloaf—

He never even noticed the truck barreling towards the passenger side of his car.

++++++

“Cole! It’s time for dinner!”

Katniss set down the bowl of mac and cheese—her son’s favorite—onto the beautiful cherrywood dining table. She had been lucky to score an apartment so close to her new job and even luckier that it came fully furnished. Hopefully once everything slowed down, they could actually find time to make it a home.

Her son rushed into the room, all smiles and a G.I. Joe action figure in tow. “I’m starving…but can I eat in my room?”

“Are you not finished unpacking?” Katniss asked the young boy, her hand pushing his dark locks from his stone colored eyes.

“No, I want to eat with my new friend,” Cole informed her with a beatific smile. “He likes mac and cheese, too.”

Katniss nodded in understanding. Cole was getting to the age when imaginary friends came into play. Also, for now, he was the new kid in town.

“Does your…friend want a bowl as well?”

“Yes, please.”

Taking a bowl from the open moving box, she scooped a spoonful and handed the bowl to her son.

“That’s not going to be enough, Mommy,” he replied. “He’s a big guy, you know.”

“Oh—” Katniss scooped a little bit more. “How about this?”

Examining the bowl, Cole nodded in approval before taking the bowls and rushing down the hallway toward his new bedroom.

“Here you go, Pe—”

He shut the door before Katniss could catch his words.

“Huh…it’s a he.”

Scooping a bowl for herself, Katniss settled in for a lone dinner of mac and cheese.

And, maybe a glass of wine.

++++++

It was during her fourth glass of wine that Katniss started to get curious about the previous owner. Cole was long asleep—after three stories and one lullaby—and in his own words, dreaming of going to Hogwarts instead of a regular old school.

Katniss couldn’t recall when she had told him anything about Harry Potter.

She began to peek around each room, pulling drawers open, and peeking into cabinets. When Katniss went into the master bedroom, she went immediately to the closet—a tiny thing, really—and looked inside. There was a single shelf at the top and a rack below it. She reached up, her hand moving over the dusty surface when she felt the familiar coarseness of paper.

Pulling it down, Katniss looked at the crayon scrawling of two people, a little girl and a man in a meadow with a house in the back. The sun, of course, was obscenely large.

“Why do children always draw the sun so big?” she whispered, her fingers tracing the writing on the picture’s corner. “From Alba…”

“What are you doing in my bedroom?”

Katniss whipped around at the deep timbre of a man’s voice, her heart practically exploding from her ribcage.

There was no one there.

“Shit,” she breathed out. “How much wine did I drink?”

The windows were shut and there were no vents that might allow a neighbor’s voice to invade her bedroom. Katniss walked out of the room, quickly checking on a serenely sleeping Cole, then down the hallway towards the living room and kitchen.

Nothing but deathly silence.

Going back into the kitchen, her eyes focused on the wine bottle, still mostly full. She felt her anxiety abate and her hand reached for the bottle—

“Do you really need a fifth glass?”

“Okay.” Katniss put her hands up in surrender; the wine was obviously laced with something. “I’m going to bed.”

That would be the last time that she would buy wine from a discount mart.

++++++

The girl was a damn lush.

The boy, Cole, was not so bad.

He watched her from…wherever…take over his apartment with tacky plush pillows with generic sayings and frilly pillows on his king-size mattress. The quilt—he cringed thinking how somewhere his Calvin Klein sheets were probably lying in wait—was multi-colored and so…old.

She was preparing dinner—lasagna—and he was suddenly aware that he could not smell the melted mozzarella that accompanied the dish, nor could he feel the heat emanating from the oven as the woman leaned down to pull out the steaming tray.

He had to admit—she had a nice ass.

Somewhere in the distance…there was a faint beep…then he could feel it.

He was fading again.

Peeta was no more.

++++++

“You look horrible.”

Katniss turned to her fellow nurse, Johanna, and glared.

“Gee, thanks. You’re making me feel real good about the transfer.” However, she went to the coffee machine across from the nurses station. “I haven’t been sleeping well since the move.”

“What? Is the place haunted or something?” Johanna sat down at her computer to begin her reports.

“Maybe.” Katniss took a long sip from the scalding coffee; she was going to feel that later. For now, she needed it to get through her shift. “Sometimes, I think I’m hearing things…but I don’t know if it’s the wine or stress. Also, lately I’ve been feeling…judged.”

Johanna raised a brow. “How?”

“Like there’s this aura of disapproval in the apartment,” Katniss explained.

“So, your apartment hates you?” Johanna supplied. “I’m sure that you’re just settling in.”

“Probably,” she responded. “I mean, it would be really uncomfortable if someone was there during my ‘lonely’ nights.” Her cell phone started ringing from her scrubs and Katniss looked at the screen. “It’s Cole’s school.” She picked up quickly. “Hello?”

“Miss Everdeen? This is Alma Coin, Principal of Panem Elementary. We have a…situation with your son and we’ll need you to come immediately.”

Katniss felt a prickle of fear rush down to her stomach. “Is Cole alright?”

“Other than the cut lip, he is fine,” the woman assured her tersely.

“I’ll be right over,” Katniss assured her and hung up. “Shit.” She turned to Johanna. “Cole is in trouble.”

“Go.” Johanna waved her off. “I’ll find someone to cover you today.”

“You’re the best,” Katniss told her gratefully.

“No, I’m just the head nurse,” her friend replied. “Go!”

+++++++

Katniss opened the door to their apartment, leading her son in quickly. “On the couch. Now.”

Cole flopped on the couch, arms folded and his late father’s scowl on his face.

“Now…” Katniss joined him on the couch. “Can we talk about why you hit that boy?”

“He was making fun of one of the girls in my class,” Cole explained. “So, Peeta told me to hit him.”

“Peeta? Is he another boy in your class?” she asked curiously.

“No. He’s my friend,” her son replied. “The one who plays action figures with me.”

Her spine stiffened at the thought of Cole’s ‘friend’.

“Sweetie, you can’t blame what you did on your invisible friend,” Katniss explained as calmly as she could.

Cole shot up from his seat. “Peeta is real! He’s my only friend here!”

“Well, if that’s the kind of friend you have, then I don’t think you two should be friends anymore,” she responded firmly.

“I hate you!” Her son’s face was wet with tears. “I wish we never came here! Daddy would have never made us leave our house!”

Katniss knelt before him, her own mouth beginning to tremble.

“I know.” Her hands went to Cole’s shoulders. “I wish we could’ve stayed, too—”

Her son let out one plaintive sob before turning and running off towards the hallway. Katniss cringed hearing the door of his bedroom slam shut.

“Don’t cry,” she hissed to herself.

The tears came anyway, and Katniss angrily wiped them away. She hated herself for letting things get all out of control…for losing their house to pay off Gale’s medical bills…for losing her job because there weren’t enough hours in a day to be a widow and a newly-single mother—

Getting up, her feet took her to the kitchen where her shaking hands reached for the fridge door, ready to open the Moscato chilling in the back—

“If I knew you well enough, I would probably tell you that you have an obvious drinking problem.”

Katniss jumped, turning quickly to find a sandy-haired man standing in her kitchen.

++++++

“H-How did you get in here?”

Peeta searched his mind; he couldn’t quite figure it out. He just blinked and suddenly he was watching the boy’s mother reaching into the fridge for one of her many wine bottles.

He shrugged. “Not sure. What I do know is that you’re squatting in my apartment.”

“No, it’s my apartment,” she said in a tight voice. “Now, how did you get in?”

“How one usually gets in,” Peeta told her. However, he felt at his pants pocket and couldn’t find his keys. “Where are my keys?” He glared at the woman. “What did you do with them?”

“I didn’t do anything!” Katniss replied. She reached into the pocket of her scrubs and pulled out her keys. “But I have my set…” Backing herself against the kitchen counter, Katniss reached behind and, feeling around for the first solid object, presented it to the man before her. “Now, get out of my house or I’ll—”

Peeta smirked. “Ladle me to death?” He approached her boldly. “Also, that’s my ladle.”

Without thought, Katniss swung and Peeta reached to block her hit.

Only he couldn’t.

Because the head of the ladle went right through his hand.

His blue eyes widened in shock. “What the hell?”

Then, just like that, Peeta disappeared.

++++++

“Explain this to me again?”

Katniss, her grey eyes wide with terror, stopped mid-rock on the couch before looking to Johanna.

“There was a guy in my apartment, and he said that it was his…so I reached for the first thing I could find—a ladle—and it just went right through his hand!” She took a sip of water from the glass that she held; there was no way that alcohol would be touching her lips tonight. “Then, he vanished!”

“Katniss.” Johanna sat down next to her, eyes roving over her trembling friend. “You’ve been going through a lot lately, with the move and Cole trying to adjust. I mean, have you been getting any sleep?”

“I sleep…kind of.”

“And, have you been drinking more than usual?”

Katniss tried not to think of the condescending ghost who scolded her for her nightly wine glasses.

“Not more than usual,” she informed Johanna.

“I think you might need to see someone…like a priest or a counselor...or just anyone to talk to,” Johanna told her gently. “These hallucinations are not good for you.”

“He’s not a hallucination,” Katniss argued.

Johanna looked at her doubtfully. “Maybe not. Either way, this isn’t healthy.” She stood up. “You need some more time off—get this situation figured out and get back to work okay. I’ll just let the hospital know that there was…a home issue.”

Katniss nodded tiredly. “Thanks.”

Her friend went to the door before suddenly turning to her.

“You know, if this ghost is real, then there’s a reason he’s stuck here,” Johanna said. “You might want to figure out what it is if you want some peace of your own.”

Katniss snorted in response. “Great—a week of exorcisms.”

“Or watching Ghost Whisperer,” Johanna cracked. “I’ll see you in a week.”

Her friend closed the front door behind her, leaving Katniss to the silence of her apartment.

Getting up, she went to check on Cole and found him fast asleep. Walking into his room, her hand found its way to his soft locks and Katniss leaned down to press a kiss to his temple.

“Mommy?”

“Hey kiddo.” She smiled gently at him. “Just checking on you. I know that our last conversation didn’t go so well.”

“I’m sorry.” Cole’s eyes shone up at her and he blinked, letting his tears fall. “I miss Daddy.”

“Oh baby…I miss him, too,” Katniss said thickly. “But he wouldn’t want you to be sad.”

“He wouldn’t want you to be sad either,” her son told her.

“So, we’re just going to have figure out how to get out of the sads, right?” Katniss pressed a kiss to his cheek, blowing a raspberry and making Cole giggle. “Tomorrow, we’ll start to make some plans—maybe decorate your room and make this place our own?”

Cole nodded excitedly. “Yes, Mommy!”

“Now back to bed.” Katniss pulled the blanket over his shoulder. “Tomorrow is a new day.”

She gave him one last kiss before getting up.

As Katniss reached the doorway, something came to her mind.

“Cole?”

“Yes, Mommy?”

“What does your friend Peeta look like?”

“He has yellow hair and blue eyes…he’s tall, but not as tall as Daddy was.” Cole looked at her, his eyes beginning to droop as a yawn escaped his lips. “Why?”

“Just wondering. Good night, sweetheart.”

Closing the door behind her, Katniss went to the kitchen.

Was she really going to try this? This would really solidify that she was most likely having a mental breakdown.

Taking a deep breath, Katniss closed her eyes and called out, “Peeta?”

Nothing.

“Peeta? I’m sorry for trying to hit you with a ladle…” She walked around the kitchen, trying to see if she could catch a glimmer of a spirit. “I think you know my son, Cole. He gave you mac and cheese.”

Silence.

Katniss went towards the fridge.

“I think I’m just going to have one glass of wi—”

“There you go again with the booze!”

Got him.

Turning, she found herself looking at what seemed like a solidly formed Peeta. He wore a simple pair of dark grey slacks and a white button-down shirt. The sleeves were rolled up and she looked at his forearms to see if there were any distinguishing features.

Katniss could see nothing but smooth skin and faint blue veins running along to his wrists.

“I’m Katniss.” She sat down at the table next to the fridge. “You must be Peeta.”

After a moment, Peeta nodded. “I am.”

“What’s your last name?”

He looked at her for a moment and in the depths of his cerulean eyes, Katniss could practically see him searching for the answer.

Finally, Peeta replied. “I don’t know.”

“Have a seat.” Katniss gestured at the chair across and was surprised when he easily joined her. “I think I can help you find out what’s going on. However, I think you’re just going to have to acknowledge and accept one thing—you’re dead.”

++++++

Dead?

He couldn’t be!

“How can I be dead?” He looked to the woman in front of him. “I have no recollection of it happening or any events leading up to it.”

“The dead often don’t know that they are,” Katniss replied calmly. “I think that what you need is…to go into the light.”

Peeta looked around in confusion. “What light?”

“You don’t see any sort of portal?” she asked. “Like something from above…or below?”

“No and definitely no,” Peeta argued. “I’m not dead.”

“Then why can’t you tell me anything about yourself?” Katniss’ eyes, smoky and deep, peered deep into whatever kind of being he was. “Can you remember anything from the past few days?”

“No.” He sunk into his seat. “It’s like I’m here…and then I’m not.”

Katniss looked at him with sympathy. “Maybe this is limbo?”

“Or maybe I’m not dead!” he burst out.

“Okay…okay—don’t wake Cole!”

“Cole is your son.”

“Yes.”

“And, where’s his Dad?”

Katniss’ eyes shone with pain and he wanted to shake himself for being so crass.

“He’s wherever I guess you were supposed to go,” she said somberly.

“I’m sorry.” Peeta attempted a smile. “Cole’s a good kid.”

“By the way, thanks for telling him to hit that kid.” Katniss glared at him. “I had to miss a day of work to get lectured by his principal.”

“That kid was being mean to A—” He stopped and she straightened, watching his expression. “It’s like the memory is there, but I just can’t reach it.”

“So, you have some sort of ghost amnesia.”

“I’m not a ghost!”

“Okay, a corporal being amnesia,” Katniss said, trying to maintain peace. “I have some time off because my friend and co-worker thinks I’m delusional—thanks a lot—so maybe I can start asking around the building about you.”

“That sounds good.”

“Hey Peeta?” Katniss’ expression suddenly flushed. “You haven’t watched me at other times, right? Like not on Wednesday nights around 11:00?”

“No.”

She breathed a sigh of relief.

“But your vibrator is pretty loud so I really wouldn’t need to look to know what you are doing.”

Katniss scowled; her face bright with embarrassment. “Damn you!”

It probably wasn’t the best time for him to mention the few times that he may have peeked in during her shower time.

++++++

“Oh, the guy upstairs.” The woman leaned against her doorway in thought. “Yeah, I don’t recall ever seeing him. Actually, for a while, I didn’t even know that someone lived up there.”

“Well, thanks anyway,” Katniss said before she bid her goodbye. She looked to the man beside her. “Did you talk to anyone?”

“I don’t know,” Peeta replied with a shrug. “I think I’m a friendly person.”

Katniss didn’t even attempt to hide her eye roll. “I’m sure you were.”

She walked up to the next door and knocked.

The man who suddenly stood before them seemed to be glistening, his upper body highlighted and contoured to show every single abdominal muscle on his golden skin.

“Hi!” He gave Katniss a bright grin, revealing straight, blindingly white teeth. “How can I help you?”

Katniss started. “Oh…yeah hi. I just moved into the apartment on the third floor and was wondering if you knew anything about the guy who lived there.”

“I think I ran into him once…seemed like the kind of person who was just too busy to give anyone else a second thought…” He thought for a moment. “A little cold, too.”

“Hey!” Peeta was genuinely offended. “Doesn’t anyone have anything nice to say about me?”

“Like he was someone who’d kick a puppy?” Katniss asked, a gleam in her eye.

“Exactly!” The man let out a riotous laugh. “I’m Marvel, by the way.”

“Katniss.” She shook his hand. “I’ll see you around.”

“Maybe we could have dinner sometime,” Marvel suggested.

“Really? This guy?” Peeta scoffed. “Yeah, he’s jacked but who the hell is walking around shirtless and oiled up on a weekday afternoon?”

“I’ll think about it,” Katniss said congenially.

“She has a kid!” Peeta yelled into the man’s ear.

Marvel touched at his lobe. “Weird. Got a buzzing in my ear…” He smiled easily. “I’ll see you around.”

“Better go add more oil to your arms. You’re starting to look less than perfect,” Peeta called out.

The door closed and Katniss turned to him. “Are you seriously jealous?”

“Of the meathead?” He shook his head vigorously. “Never.”

Katniss laughed as they continued down the hallway.

“I have to pick up Cole. I don’t know the whole logistics of ghosts, but can you leave the building?”

She walked out of the front door and held it open for him before walking down the stairs.

Peeta easily followed her onto the sidewalk.

“I guess I’m okay.”

The two began their walk and Katniss examined the man beside her. He seemed so real. The light of the sun still hit his skin and she could see that small glisten of sweat above his upper lip. In death, didn’t bodily functions usually cease?

“What if I was a horrible person?” he suddenly asked. “Nobody in my own apartment building knew me. I didn’t participate in any neighborhood events or even open my door for trick-or-treaters. What kind of person was I?”

“I think you would be in a much different place if you were bad,” she told him. “We will find out who you are. Maybe I could call the landlord.”

“They would never give that information,” Peeta replied. “Confidentiality and such.”

They reached Cole’s school, sitting on a bench just across the street.

Panem Elementary was a beautiful building, all brick with its old school bell still hanging in the tower.

Peeta could appreciate old architecture—

A girlish laugh…crayon drawings…golden hair…

“I think I just had a memory.”

Katniss looked to him in shock. “Of what?”

“They were like flashes…of a laugh…golden hair…drawings—”

“Hi Mommy!” Cole rushed over to them, a bright smile on his little face. “Hi Peeta!”

“Hey kiddo,” Katniss stood up and took his hand. “You ready?”

Cole nodded but not before waving at the girl across the street, who waved back.

“Alba!”

The girl turned at the call and joined her mother, disappearing into the crowd of children.

++++++

“Maybe we could look around here?” Katniss said as they stepped into the apartment. “Can you tell me if the layout of the furniture is the same?”

“What are you doing?” Cole asked as he took off his jacket.

“Your mommy is trying to help me,” Peeta told him. “I think it looks the same…there were some photos on the mantle.” He struggled to remember what was in those frames. “I think they were a dark wood with carved designs along the borders.”

“That’s a start,” Katniss mused. “How about the kitchen?”

The trio went to the kitchen and looked around trying to see if there was a semblance of anything that spoke of the man who once lived in the apartment. Peeta surveyed the room, moving along the l-shape of the counters then to the fridge.

He turned to the mother and son. “Nothing.”

Katniss gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Don’t worry.” She tapped her finger to her chin before pressing the pad of finger to her lip in thought. “I tried the landlord and he hasn’t been very helpful. Maybe I can do some internet research or ask my realtor…”

“Why don’t you look in the drawers?” Cole asked suddenly.

“I’m pretty sure they’re empty—or they should’ve been,” Katniss replied as she headed towards the closest drawers to her. “I mean, I haven’t been able to unpack everything but—”

She stopped suddenly at the piece of paper laying plainly inside the empty drawer.

Peeta joined her. “What is it?”

“A note.” She frowned as she picked up the paper. “I don’t know if this is your writing, but it’s atrocious!”

“Hey!” Peeta looked at the chicken scratch. Yes, it wasn’t the best penmanship, but he was feeling very attacked for someone who wasn’t sure if he was alive. “I might’ve been in a rush.”

Cole pulled his mother’s arm so he could see the note. “Is that a 2 or a 3?”

“I’m not sure,” Katniss replied and held the note to Peeta. “You try deciphering this.”

Peeta examined the words in front of him. “It says, ‘Buy wine. 14…2 Sun Valley Way’.”

“That’s not too far from here.” Katniss gave him an encouraged smile. “See? We’re getting somewhere!”

“Thanks to Cole.” Peeta looked down at the boy. “Thanks bud.”

“No problem.” Cole beamed up at him. “Will you help with my homework?”

“Sure.” Peeta looked to her, his blue eyes warm. “Thanks.”

She nodded, her face flushing. “Of course. We’ll go tomorrow after dropping Cole off at school.”

Peeta’s hand suddenly reached forward, stopping short of touching her hair.

He stepped back, eyes darting down. “There was some hair…out of place.”

Katniss tucked it quickly behind her ear. “Better?”

His eyes met hers. “Lovely.”

“Peeta…stare at Mommy later! Word problems wait for no one!”

Cole rushed off to his room.

“I better go.”

“Sure.” Katniss went to the fridge. “I’ll get dinner started.”

Peeta walked out of the room and she opened the door of the fridge, leaning in to look for a semblance of something to make for dinner.

And, to cool herself off.

++++++

Katniss stepped out of her car, looking around the neighborhood and then at the house in front of her. It looked like every other house on the block; two-storied with brick steps leading to a wide porch. There was nothing decorating the steps unlike some of the other houses sporting ghoulish decorations—Halloween was coming up in only two days.

“So, should we go up?”

She jumped at Peeta’s voice. “Shit—you need to stop popping up like that!”

“Sorry.” He grinned roguishly at her. “It comes with the spirit territory, I guess.”

Together, they walked up the steps and at the top, Katniss knocked on the door.

They waited hearing quick footsteps heading towards them.

Peeta let out a quick breath. “Here goes.”

The woman in front of them took them both by surprise—blonde, buxom, and wearing a crop top and leggings. “Hello.” She flashed a sparkling white smile at Katniss. “How can I help you?”

“Uh…I was wondering if you know a guy named Peeta.” Katniss looked quickly at the man next to her. “Blond, cerulean eyes, has a cute, crooked smile…”

Peeta smirked. “You think my smile is cute?”

“I know a lot of guys, sweetie,” the woman in front of them replied. “I don’t usually know them by name, though.”

Katniss looked to her in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“Listen, I’m not sure what your husband may have told you, but Cashmere does not do refunds,” the woman continued, her eyes narrowing at Katniss. “I did my service, discreetly I might add, and I was owed the money. I keep a quiet living in this neighborhood and don’t appreciate being harassed.”

She slammed the door before Katniss could say anything else.

“Oh my God…” She turned to Peeta. “Did you pay that woman for sex?”

“I don’t know!” he yelled as Katniss stomped towards the car. “I don’t remember anything!”

“You don’t remember if you were a pervert?” Katniss glared at him as she opened her door. “I mean, how could you not remember those tits?” She got inside her car and slammed the door shut. “They didn’t move at all…”

“Are you seriously jealous of that woman?”

She started, seeing Peeta suddenly sitting in the passenger’s seat.

“No…I am not jealous of Cashmere’s perfectly manufactured body. I am perfectly happy with my normal-moving boobs.” Katniss started the engine roughly. “And maybe I don’t have abs—but I really like fries and am way too busy to do crunches.”

“Hey.” Peeta raised his hands in surrender. “I agree. I like your regular boobs. Feel free to stop wearing bras in front of me.”

Katniss chuckled in spite of herself. “You really are a perv.”

Peeta grinned. “But you love that about me!”

She let out a peal of laughter before pulling out of the parking space and driving away.

The occupant of 143 Sun Valley Drive stepped out of her house, going to her mailbox to take out the mail. A gust of wind hit, causing blonde tendrils to fly in all directions and she quickly tucked her hair back. Her eyes went to the car heading out of the neighborhood.

Cashmere must have had another visitor.

++++++

“That’s not right, Mommy!”

Katniss looked up at Cole. “I’m not an artist, sweetheart.” She continued her work, biting her lower lip in concentration.

“What are you doing?”

She jumped, streaking the green shirt and then glared up at the man before her.

“I thought I would get more used to you just popping up like that!” Katniss groaned, looking down at the mess before her. “This doesn’t look good at all.”

Cole nodded. “I agree.”

“It doesn’t look so bad,” Peeta said as he examined her work. “Just add some shadowing here…here…and here.” He turned to Cole. “What are you supposed to be?”

“The Hulk!” Cole told him excitedly. “And, he has lots of muscles!”

“Okay, that explains why your mother is painting abs on your shirt.”

“Yeah, we’re going trick-or-treating!” The boy was practically bouncing. “Can you come with us?”

Peeta looked to the woman currently contouring the set of pecs on the shirt.

“If your mom says it’s okay.”

“Sure. I could use a second set of eyes on Cole,” she told him. “There.” Katniss held the shirt up in triumph. “Now, it just needs to dry.”

“Thanks Mommy!” Cole exclaimed. “I can’t wait for tomorrow!”

The boy rushed off to his room, shirt carefully held out so it could be hung to dry.

Katniss pushed herself up onto the couch and smiled ruefully at Peeta.

“This will be the first Halloween that he’s gone trick-or-treating since Gale,” she explained. “We’ve been kind of hiding out for the last two years. I wanted him to have something special and handmade.”

“Can I ask what happened?” Peeta said gently. He sat next to her.

“He just started to get these really bad headaches…” Katniss wrapped her arms around herself. “Then one day I got a call at work that he had a seizure—and before I knew it, he was gone.” She trembled, pulling herself in. “And we were alone.”

“It was tumor, wasn’t it?”

Katniss nodded as she sniffed back her tears.

“It grew quickly and just took over before we could even try to fight it.”

“I’m so sorry, Katniss,” he said softly. Something ached seeing her so broken. “I just wish there was something I could do.”

“It’s alright,” she replied. “Just you sitting here is enough.”

Peeta felt tongue-tied as he spoke the words that he knew that he shouldn’t speak.

“I wish…I wish I could just…hold your hand…or let you cry on my shoulder.”

They fell silent.

Katniss shifted, moving closer to him.

“I wish that you could, too.”

++++++

The streets were littered with children. They had decided to come to neighborhood where the infamous Cashmere resided since it was apparently the place to be when it came to trick or treating. However, Katniss made it a point to avoid that side of the street altogether.

“Okay, I didn’t prepare for this craziness,” Peeta said as they moved past a set of crayons followed by a man in a ketchup bottle costume. “This is ridiculous.”

“Well, this is Halloween with a kid,” Katniss replied, twitching her painted nose.

“What are you supposed to be?” he asked, eyeing her all-black ensemble.

Katniss shrugged. “A cat…or a mouse?”

“Mommy, I’m going there!” Cole pointed to the house with fake webbing on its hedges and ghoulish pumpkins along the staircase.

“Sure. Just wait for us,” she said before sprinting up the staircase to join Cole, who was already ringing the doorbell.

Peeta joined seconds later as they waited for someone to answer the door.

The door opened and a little blonde girl greeted them. She was wearing a pair of child-sized scrubs, a stethoscope around her neck and a head covering atop of her golden hair.

Something jarred Peeta’s senses.

“Trick-or-treat, Alba!” Cole greeted the girl happily.

“Alba Grace—I told you to wait for me before opening the door.” A pretty blonde-haired woman with bright-blue eyes greeted them with a wide smile and a bucket of candy in her hands. “Hello!” She put a handful of treats into Cole’s bag. “Cool costume.”

“Thanks,” Cole said shyly.

“I know her,” Peeta said suddenly.

Katniss fought the urge to look at him in front of the woman and her daughter.

“Mommy, Cole was the boy who protected me when Charlie Banks was being mean to me,” Alba informed her mother. “Cole punched him and almost got in big trouble—but not as much trouble as Charlie did.”

The woman looked to Cole. “Thank you so much.” Her eyes went to Katniss. “I’m really sorry that Cole got in trouble.”

“He was just doing what some other kid told him to do,” Katniss muttered. “I’m Katniss Haw—Everdeen.” She let out a breath before starting again. “I’m Katniss Everdeen.”

“I’m Prim Masters,” the woman introduced herself. “Why don’t you come in? It’s just me and Alba for now. My husband, Cato, is an EMT and doing a late shift so he could have the day off tomorrow.”

“Come on, Cole. We have brownies!” Alba reached out and took the boy’s hand to pull him in.

“I guess we’re coming in.” Katniss said with a smile.

“Of course! Welcome!” Prim stood aside to let her in.

Peeta walked past the woman and a wave of familiarity hit, followed by a hard pounding in his ears.

“I know her, too,” he told Katniss.

They walked into the living room to find Cole and Alba sitting on the couch, brownies in their hands. As Peeta entered the room, he felt Alba’s eyes on him. She suddenly stood up to grab another brownie. However, instead of eating it, she placed it on a paper plate on the coffee table before meeting his eyes.

“I like your costume, Alba,” Katniss said.

“Thank you,” Alba replied sweetly. “I’m a doctor—like my Uncle!”

“Alba…” A pained warning came from Prim and Peeta felt the need to protect the grown woman.

The girl ignored her mother’s call and jumping from the couch, she took Katniss’ hand to pull her toward the mantle. She pointed to the set of photos, stopping at a picture of Prim and a young man in scrubs, grinning from ear to ear.

“See—this is my Uncle Peeta and my Mommy on his first day at Panem Hospital!”

Katniss froze seeing the photo and picture frame that surrounded it—dark wood with carvings along the edge of the frame.

++++++

“No wonder I told Cole to hit that kid,” Peeta said later that night. “I needed to protect my niece!”

“Prim looked shocked at the mention of you,” Katniss said as she opened her bedroom closet. “Honestly, I am too.” She turned to him, a piece of paper in her hands. “The first night that I heard you I found this.”

Katniss presented him with the drawing. “It’s from Alba.”

Peeta looked at the drawing over her shoulder and smiled.

“I remember this. Prim sent this to me last Christmas. Alba wanted me to remember her, so she drew a family picture,” he explained. “I couldn’t come home last year. I was always busy…and I think that’s why they moved here—so I wouldn’t be alone.”

“That must have been the reason that you were bringing wine to their house.”

Katniss laid back on her bed.

“Prim was very evasive about your whereabouts, but she looked upset.” She turned to the opposite side where Peeta perched himself. “What if you are dead?”

“Then I figure out why I’m here,” he told her simply. “You’re not going to miss me, are you?”

“I might,” she admitted, suddenly avoiding his gaze. “When Gale died, I lost everything. We had to sell the house and leave everything behind because of all the medical bills and funeral expenses. We weren’t prepared for the unexpected. I lost my job because I didn’t have enough accrued hours to go on leave to take care of everything.” Katniss let the tears fall. “It was a very low point for us.” She took in a shaky breath. “Then by some miracle, three months ago, Panem Hospital offered me a job—and I was able to get this apartment. It was like someone was watching over us.”

“I think it was Gale,” Peeta said softly. “Maybe he’s looking out for both of us because he knew that we needed help during this…transition.”

“Maybe—but Gale had a jealous streak so I don’t know why he would pick someone like you,” she retorted.

Peeta chuckled. “So, he was not into blonds?”

“He probably wouldn’t have picked anyone so McDreamy-ish.” Katniss looked to him, a grin on her lips. “Oh, just admit that you probably fancied yourself Panem Hospital’s version of Derek Shepherd!”

“I watched that show once and was a little intimidated by how good Patrick Dempsey looked.” Peeta shifted, resting back against the headboard. “No one really looks good in scrubs—except for you.”

Katniss smirked. “You like nurses?”

Peeta shook his head. “Nope”

She frowned.

Their eyes met and his mouth fell into that easy smile that shook Katniss to the core.

“Except the one lying next to me.”

++++++

Katniss returned to work the following Monday. Over the weekend, she and Peeta figured that he would come along so they could try to get information about what may have happened to him. They separated in the lobby where he would try and gather details about his time at Panem Hospital.

“It’s good to see you back,” Johanna greeted her when she reached the nurses’ station. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Katniss replied.

Truthfully, she felt much better.

She and Cole had an actual dinner last night, courtesy of the Mellark roast chicken recipe that Peeta happened to know by heart. Then, while he watched Cole, Katniss got to actually take a quiet bubble bath followed by her first restful sleep in a long time.

Johanna moved closer to her. “And…the ghost?”

Katniss could suddenly feel Peeta next to her.

“Johanna, was there a doctor named Peeta who worked here?”

Her friend’s face went stark white. “How do you know Dr. Mellark?”

“That’s my last name!” Peeta shouted. “I am Peeta Mellark!”

“Well…the ghost…is him,” she told Johanna. “How do you know him?”

“I don’t know him…but I know of him,” her friend replied. “Saw him around once in a while with his mentor.” Johanna’s dark eyes bore into her. “Is he really here?”

Katniss looked over to where Peeta stood right behind Johanna. “He’s right behind you.”

“Then how many fingers am I holding behind me?” Johanna retorted.

“Two,” Peeta told Katniss.

She met Johanna’s gaze. “Two.”

“How about now?”

Peeta was lightning fast in his response. “Five.”

“Five.”

Johanna was looking a little doubtful. “And, now?”

Peeta guffawed. “She’s giving me the middle finger.”

Katniss crossed her arms. “You’re giving him the finger.”

Johanna almost doubled over. “You can see a ghost.”

She nodded. “I can see a ghost.”

Johanna looked around.

“Well, sorry for messing with you, Dr. Mellark…also, sorry for checking out your ass that one time.”

Peeta smiled. “Tell her it’s okay.”

“He said it’s okay,” Katniss assured her. “Now, can anyone give me any information about him?”

“It was all very hush-hush, but you should go speak to Dr. Abernathy on the twelfth floor,” Johanna informed her, her eyes somber. “Just…take care, okay?”

++++++

“This doesn’t look good.”

They were watching one of the nurses speaking quietly to Dr. Haymitch Abernathy, Peeta’s mentor. The tall, dark-haired man looked at her before nodding at the other nurse.

“Why?” she asked Peeta quietly.

“They’re giving you that look like they’re about to tell you that I’m dead,” Peeta told her grimly.

The man approached, looking her over, before holding out his hand.

“I’m Dr. Haymitch Abernathy,” he started. “Before we go on, how did you know Peeta?”

“Tell him that we were involved,” Peeta said quickly. “He won’t tell you anything unless we were…intimate.”

“My name is Katniss Everdeen.” She shook the man’s hand firmly. “I’ve known Peeta for awhile now. We were…” Her face went warm. “Intimate.”

“That’s surprising,” Dr. Abernathy said. “I’ve known Peeta for a long time and he never mentioned you or any other personal relationships.”

“It was an on and off thing,” she explained. “I was living somewhere else with my son and just recently came to Panem. Can you tell me what happened to him?”

“There was an accident,” the man began. “Peeta was leaving the hospital about three months ago and…”

Suddenly, Peeta remembered.

He was on his way to Prim’s house to celebrate her official move to Panem. He had checked his pager and then turned up the radio as he made his turn. He remembered not looking forward to Prim’s daily lecture on meeting the right girl.

Then, there was the crash and…nothingness.

The loud thumping in his ears interrupted his memories…and he was moving…gliding…

Peeta blinked and when he opened his eyes, he was staring at himself.

In a hospital bed.

++++++

“Oh my God, you’re real.”

Peeta turned to see Katniss approaching his unconscious form.

“That’s me.” Peeta smiled dolefully. “Live and in living color—kind of.”

She approached his still body, her eyes roving over him. “You truly are a handsome man.”

“Better than Marvel?”

Katniss looked over at him, giving him a wink.

“Way better. When you’re awake, we can compare biceps—oiled up and everything.”

He looked over at the machines he was hooked up to. The machines were standard ones, measuring his heart rate and brain activity, while his stats were being recorded daily in an open notebook next to the ventilator.

They didn’t look good.

“Katniss, I don’t know how much you know about patients in a state such as mine but being in a coma for this long is never good,” he told her. “Day by day, my body becomes more dependent on these machines.”

“Then, try to get yourself back in there!” Katniss urged. “Dr. Abernathy only gave me a few minutes and we have to try to give you whatever chance we can.”

Peeta looked at her helplessly. “I’m afraid.”

She sat down in the chair next to his bed and looked up at him. “Why?”

“If it works, what happens…to us?”

“Us.” The word trilled in her chest like a songbird. “I didn’t know there was an us.”

“I didn’t think it could ever be possible,” Peeta admitted. “But…” He knelt before her so that he could meet her eyes. “…for the longest time, the only thing that I’ve wanted is just to hold your hand.”

“Then try, Peeta,” she pleaded. “Try for us.”

Peeta nodded resolutely.

Turning to the body in the bed, he carefully placed his hand over his physical hand. However, his hand just seemed to pass through, and he couldn’t feel…anything.

“It’s like there’s no connection,” Peeta told her. “What if I can’t get back?”

Katniss shot up. “No. You’re still in there,” she told him resolutely. “Close your eyes.”

He quirked a brow but did what she asked of him.

Carefully, she went to his bedside and took his hand. His skin was warm and when she reached to his wrist, Katniss could feel the strong pulse of the man in the hospital bed. There was still life and fire in him, but they just needed to find the key to making him whole once again.

“Katniss…” His voice trembled. “I can feel you.”

“You see?” Katniss turned to him. “There is still a connection to this body.”

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Abernathy stepped inside. “Miss Everdeen, I’m afraid your time is up.”

“I’m going to stay,” Peeta told her. “And, I’m going to figure this out.”

“Alright.” She gave his hand a squeeze before meeting his eyes. “Come back to me, Peeta.”

++++++

Peeta wasn’t sure how much time passed once he and Katniss separated. After she left, he had continued to try to anchor himself to his body even trying to lay his spirit self into his physical self. It did nothing but discomfort him.

He watched the array of doctors come in to check on his progress. They shook their heads at his dwindling body functions and lack of response. Sometimes Dr. Abernathy would come in, pulling up a chair close to his bed after his shift was done. The man would simply sit, clasped his hands together, and just…pray.

Peeta was surprised and touched by his mentor’s dedication to him. After, he would give Peeta’s hand a gentle squeeze and go home to his dear Mrs. Abernathy. Effie, Haymitch’s wife, came by in the daytime to knit by his bedside and chide him for his lack of a social life when he was not comatose.

“I met the nicest girl for you,” she told him one day. “Johanna, the Head Nurse on 8 introduced us, and she is just lovely. Her name is Katniss and she has the prettiest shade of grey eyes.”

Oh, he remembered those eyes. Peeta ached to see them.

His favorite days were when Prim and her family came. Cato, his brother-in-law, would talk to him about the latest comings and goings during his shifts. He had known Cato Masters since his family had moved into the house next door to theirs. They would build forts together in the fall, went to the local pool in the summer, rode their bikes around the town in the spring, and build snowmen in the winter.

Then years later, when Peeta returned from his freshmen year of college, Cato had fallen in love with the girl next door.

During visits, Prim was the one that would get all the reports from his doctors. Most of the time, it would be Haymitch who would talk to her since he was practically their surrogate father since their parents had long passed.

The rest of the staff was a little afraid of Prim; she looked sweet with her round blue eyes and golden hair but had a mouth on her that sent people running. She was especially this way when it came to Peeta’s care.

She really was the best sister.

Alba would sit with him, telling him stories about her days at school. Sometimes, she would sit and draw or read from one of her assigned books.

Today, she leaned forward into his ear.

“Cole really misses you,” she said—but her gaze went directly to where he stood across from her.

“Tell him that I miss him,” he replied, not even sure if Alba would be able to get the message. “And, his Mom.”

His niece simply nodded.

“No!”

Peeta turned to see Prim sitting at the adjacent table with Haymitch. He hadn’t even realized that Haymitch had come in, so focused on Alba and her revelation about Cole.

“My brother would never decide on something like this,” Prim insisted. “He would never just decide to leave me alone.”

“I know he wouldn’t,” Haymitch replied patiently. “However, when doctors are employed by this hospital, they are required to make medical plans which include life-sustaining policies and that’s what Peeta did. He did require a three-month wait before we ceased life support.”

Peeta froze. “It can’t be three months.”

“I’ve pushed to three and a half, Prim,” Haymitch explained. “But, the board—”

“The board wants to pull the plug,” his sister said tersely. “Well, what if we have him moved?”

Peeta walked toward them. On the table was a closed folder, his name written on it.

“There were stipulations on that, too,” his mentor continued. Haymitch moved the folder towards Prim. “But from what I have read, he didn’t want you to suffer financially. He recognized that private facilities can be expensive.”

Prim looked to Dr. Abernathy. “What do you think? And, don’t tell me what you want me to hear.”

Haymitch sat back for a moment, hands clasped in front of him as he thought of his answer.

“Based on the numbers and his progress, I would say that it would be best to acknowledge his wishes and let him go. Personally, I want to keep him with us forever.” Haymitch cleared his throat and Peeta could see the anguish in his eyes. “I’d do anything to get him back to us, Prim…but I know, more than anything, Peeta would hate to know that we’re all in pain. So, I can’t give you a definite answer.”

There was a knock at the door and Cato entered. He immediately sensed the heaviness in the room.

“What’s going on?” He moved towards them, placing a kiss on top of Prim’s head.

“Maybe you two should talk this over,” Haymitch said as he stood up. “I’m so sorry, Prim.”

With one last nod, Peeta’s mentor left the room.

Cato sat down on the now-empty chair, taking his wife’s hands. “What happened?”

Prim burst into tears, crumbling against him.

Lost in their pain, they failed to see Alba’s trembling mouth as she sat next to Peeta’s bed.

Peeta rushed over, kneeling before his teary-eyed niece.

“Alba, I don’t know if you sense me or hear me or even see me,” he told her. “But I’m going to find a way out of this. I promise.”

He had to get to Katniss before Prim made a decision.

“Alba…do you understand?”

Slowly and with her head down, Alba nodded in understanding.

“I’ll be back,” he assured.

Closing his eyes, Peeta thought of his safe place…of dark waves and captivating smoky eyes…and of mac and cheese��and action figures on the carpet…and of that longing of just being a lifetime away from even holding her hand…

Then, Peeta was gone.

Alba looked up, scooting herself off the seat before going to her parents.

Placing a hand on her mother’s shoulder, she offered her a smile.

“Uncle Peeta will find a way out of this. He promised.”

++++++

“Come on, kiddo.” Picking Cole up from their couch and turning off the television, Katniss headed down the hallway. “Time for bed.”

“I’m not sleepy…”

She could already feel Cole drooling on her shoulder.

Walking into his room, she placed him gently on his bed before pulling his blankets over him. Giving him a quick kiss, Katniss backed out towards the hallway before turning off the light and closing his bedroom door.

Entering her room, she closed her door and grabbed a set of pajamas from her dresser. It was another early night in—another quiet one, really. She missed the laughter that once filled their apartment when Peeta was present, but Katniss wanted to give him the time he needed with his family.

She sighed, pulling her shirt off and reaching to the unclasp her bra—

“Katniss!”

Peeta was suddenly standing in front of her.

“Peeta!” She took the shirt thrown on her bed and pressed it to her chest. “What are you doing here…in my room…while I’m half naked?”

“I’ve seen your boobs,” he told her easily. “Accidentally ended up in the bathroom during one of your showers.”

Katniss quickly pulled her pajamas on before turning back to him. “What’s going on?”

Peeta sat down on her bed, telling her about his past plans regarding his medical treatment and sustaining his life. Then he explained that Haymitch had extended his stay for as long as he could, but the board of directors were pushing for Prim to make a decision.

“I mean, I could understand from their perspective,” he said after he was finished. “I am dead weight.”

“Not funny,” Katniss told him. “You gave most of your life to that hospital and now they’re treating you like you’re just squatting in their hospital room! Not fighting for your life!” She sat down next to him. “Now what do we do?”

“Just hope that Prim decides against it,” he told her. “That she gives me more time.”

“She’s going to,” she said. “I’m not letting you go without a fight. I lost one man to a tumor and I’m not losing another because Prim is being pressured.”

Peeta smiled at her vehemence. He was sure that if he wasn’t so…corporal that he would be able to feel his heart pounding at the sight of her, all fire and beauty wrapped in cotton pajamas. He would feel the breathlessness and anticipation of feeling her kiss.

He would feel all of this because she was just so…her.

Peeta had to ask. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I love you.” Katniss said it with no hesitation. “Because when we were apart, the thought of not seeing your crooked smile really broke me.”

“Damn.” He took that feeling in and it was almost as if he could feel the blood rushing through him. “I better wake up.”

Katniss snorted. “Why?”

“Because I owe you one hell of a kiss.”

++++++

Taking a deep breath, Katniss hesitated as she stood in front of the hospital door.

“Katniss.” She turned to the man standing next to her. “This is not going to be easy.”

“I know.” Katniss knocked on the door. “But I have to try for you…and for us.” She pushed the door open and peeked inside. Prim was sitting at the chair next to Peeta’s bed, where his motionless body lay.

The young woman turned as she approached.

“Hey Prim. Don’t know if Dr. Abernathy mentioned this, but I work here, and I just wanted to check in with you.”

“Of course,” Prim replied hoarsely. It was apparent that she had been crying, her eyes bloodshot and cheeks rosy. “I guess he told you about my brother.”

Katniss nodded. “I actually stopped by, a few days ago. I know your brother.”

The woman looked to her in surprised. “How?”

“Tell her we took a class together at Penn,” Peeta said.

“We took a class together at Penn,” Katniss told her, biting her lip. She really hated to lie to Prim, especially with everything happening.

“Oh.” Prim smiled softly at her. “I thought you might’ve dated. You look like his type.”

Katniss felt her face heat up. “I don’t think he would’ve given me a second look.”

Peeta gave her a smile. “I would’ve looked.”

“Anyway,” Katniss continued. “I just wanted to say that, if possible, that you give Peeta some time. He’s in there, I know it—”

“It’s been so hard.” Prim’s mouth trembled and she took a breath. “On our family…on Alba…on me…” She looked to her brother. “And, I read over his plans…it’s what’s right.”

Katniss felt her chest tighten. “What are trying to say?”

“I signed the papers,” Prim told her hollowly. “About an hour ago. We’re going to do it tomorrow morning—while Alba is in school.”

“Why?” It came out louder than Katniss expected, and Prim jumped in surprised.

“Because he’s suffering!” Prim turned to her brother’s body. “Being in that body is like being in a prison!”

“Prim, I know you don’t want to hear this, but Peeta is here!”

It came out without a single thought, but there was nothing more Katniss could do.

Come hell or high water.

“He is here and he is begging you to not do this…” Peeta stood motionless, next to his sister as Katniss continued. “I know I sound crazy but it’s true. I moved into to an apartment and it turned out it was his. Then, he just started appearing. I mean, he’s standing right next to you.”

Prim turned quickly and Peeta moved closer to her. “Prim, listen to her. I’m right here.”

They went silent as Prim processed Katniss’ words and for a moment, Katniss thought that the woman might believe her.

Until Prim looked up.

“Get out,” Prim said coldly. “It’s obvious that you need help, Katniss, and if you value your job, I suggest that you never come in this room or near my brother again.”

“Please—”

“You have ten seconds, or I will call security.”

++++++

“Now what?”

They returned home, worried that Prim would make good on her words and contact security.

On the couch, Peeta inched closer to Katniss, the longing to hold her hand overwhelming him. He could see her suffering and it made him think of that same look in Prim’s eyes as the two women talked in his hospital room.

Everyone was suffering because of him, but he wouldn’t let that happen anymore.

“I think we just…let go,” he replied tightly. “I don’t want to spend what time I have left here fighting.”

Katniss brushed away her tears quickly. “Okay. What do you want to do?”

Standing up, Peeta nodded towards the hallway. “Come with me.”

She followed stiffly as he led her into the bedroom. “What are we doing?”

Peeta went to the bed, patting her side of it. “Lay down.”

Katniss let out a wet laugh. “I’m sorry, but nothing is happening in that bed.”

“Yeah, I think the small problem of me not being able to touch you is going to negate whatever you had in mind.” He laid back on her other pillow. “I just want to pretend for a moment.”

Katniss went to her side of the bed and laid down. She turned to him. “Pretend what?”

“That we’re just a regular couple coming home from work and relishing that time that we have together before picking up our kid at school,” Peeta said. “Maybe we’re trying to figure if sex is possible before then.”

Katniss chuckled. “Maybe not. I like to take my time.” She sighed. “A make-out session would be more in our favor.”

“I never really took that time, you know,” he told her. “To sit down and have a relationship, to focus on just a kiss. I regret that. I never took the time to fall in love and now you’re here—and it’s too late.”

“I thought this was pretend,” Katniss admonished. “Stick to the script. Just lay here and pretend to be in love with me!”

“Katniss.” Peeta reached, his hand just a brush away from the tip of the braid she wore. “Who’s pretending?”

++++++

“Peeta, why did you decide to become a doctor?”

Cole stared up at him with those doleful eyes, Katniss’ eyes, from his bed.

“Well, I wanted to help people,” Peeta said. “I wanted to make an impact on the world. I guess that’s what being a doctor meant to me.” The boy nodded in understanding. “But making an impact in the world is not just having the big, fancy job. People make an impact in even the smallest ways.”

“Like what?”

“Like you, Cole—you saw me when no one else could,” he told the little boy. “You trusted me without thought even if I might have steered you wrong. I hope you know that it takes a lot to have such amazing faith in people. That is your impact on people—your faith in the good of people. Promise me that you’ll always remember that, even when you become old and grey.”

“I don’t want to be old and grey!” Cole protested.

“That’s my biggest wish for you,” Peeta told him thickly. “To become old and grey, to live the life that wrinkles your skin and puts laugh lines on your face. I just want you to really live until your skin is fully lived in. You understand?”

The little boy nodded solemnly. “I think so.”

“Just remember everything I told you, okay? Lock it up and when you have a little boy of your own, you tell him everything I told you.”

Cole smiled tiredly at him. “Thanks, Peeta.”

He closed his eyes, memorizing every bit of this moment. Peeta would be sure to tell Gale all about his son—wherever he ended up.

“Your father is very proud of you.”

The young boy was already asleep.

Standing up, Peeta turned and found Katniss in the doorway, dressed in her scrubs. “What are you doing?”

“Come on. Johanna is already here,” she simply said.

Together they walked to the living room and Johanna jumped up from the couch.

“Do you really want to do this?” The woman asked worriedly. “You’re risking a lot.”

“It’s just something that I have to do,” Katniss replied. “School is at 9. Feel free to use my bed. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

Resignedly, Johanna nodded once more and taking her keys, Katniss stepped out of the apartment with Peeta in tow. Her silence was enough for him to know that it would be in vain to ask where they were going or what she was planning to do.

Once they were on the road, Peeta had an idea of where they were going.

“Why?” he asked her.

“Because…no one should be alone at a time like this,” Katniss replied as she made a turn into Panem Hospital.

In her scrubs, Katniss looked like any other nurse coming in for a night shift. Security didn’t bat an eye as she walked past them and continued, occasionally, watching the monitors.

Katniss entered his room easily. The night nurse had already done her rounds according to the chart at his bedside and, unless there was a sign of distress, she wouldn’t have to check in until the end of her shift.

“Why are we here?” Peeta asked as she sat in the chair next to his bed.

“Like I said—no one should be alone at a time like this,” she whispered. Her eyes went to his body and carefully, Katniss reached for his hand. “Your hand is warm.” She examined his hand, her eyes caressing his skin. “There’s a scar here.”

“Friend nicked my skin while we were ice skating,” he told her. “Just barely missed slicing off my hand but got that sliver of skin. I remember how much it hurt; how red the blood was against the ice and I was afraid…but this feels a lot scarier. Not really knowing what happens on the other end.”

Katniss stood, bringing down his bed railing before perching carefully at his side.

“Don’t be afraid.” Her hand reached to his cheek, feeling that bit not covered by his breathing mask. “Even if it was just for a moment, we really had something. People go their whole lifetimes never feeling the way that we do. I was lucky. I’ve had it twice.”

“I’ll have you with me,” Peeta promised. “Always.”

She looked to him, not even bothering to hide the tears running down her cheeks.

“Always.”

++++++

Someone was shaking her awake.

“Katniss, you need to get up—now!”

Blearily, she opened her eyes to see Johanna looking down at her.

“What?” she asked.

“They’re coming, Katniss.” Her eyes shot up to where Peeta stood in front of the bed. “Prim and her husband, Haymitch, along with the rest of the medical team. It’s time.”

“We really need to leave,” Johanna urged. “Your job…your license is at stake!”

Katniss stood up; her eyes resolute. “No. I have to see him to the end.”

The door opened and Dr. Abernathy stepped in along with Prim and Cato.

Prim looked furious. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just about to take her out, Dr. Abernathy,” Johanna told the man. She looked pleadingly at Katniss. “Let’s go, Katniss…you’re not part of this.”

“I am part of this,” Katniss replied. “I love him. I’ve loved him for as long as I’ve known him—maybe even before I knew him…” She looked to Dr. Abernathy and then Prim. “Please.”

“Please,” Peeta whispered into his sister’s ear.

Prim blinked, her eyes suddenly widening before she turned to Peeta’s mentor. “What do you think?”

He stared at Katniss for a long moment. She stood firm, relaxing against Johanna’s hold.

“I think…that she needs to say goodbye as well,” he concluded. “But I’ll need her resignation immediately after this.”

“Fine,” Katniss responded.

The medical team entered, beginning the removal of Peeta’s IV and monitors. Prim rushed forward, sitting at her brother’s side while Cato stood beside her, an arm around her shoulders.

Katniss remained behind, her Peeta standing in front of her.

“Don’t watch this,” he told her. “Keep your eyes on me.”

The team shut off his ventilator and Prim wailed as they removed his breathing mask.

Still, Peeta remained right in front of her. “Sweetheart, just keep looking at me.”

Katniss felt her chest tightening, her breaths growing shallower. “Don’t go…”

“The breathing tube has been removed, Dr. Abernathy,” someone from the team reported.

“This is it,” she told him, not caring if anyone heard her. “After this—”

“It’s okay.” Peeta reached for her. “Because you’re going to be my last vision in this life—I’m leaving looking at the woman I love.”

She could see him growing dimmer as his time neared.

“I love you, Katniss…always.”

Katniss nodded, the hot tears burning her skin. “Always.”

The heart monitor let out the flatline signal.

Her eyes remained on him as he began to fade into nothing, that crooked smile of his the last imprint on her heart.

Katniss was faintly aware of everything going on around her, her eyes still trained on the spot where he stood.

Somewhere in the distance, Johanna was trying to pull her away…Prim was crying into her husband’s shoulder and Dr. Abernathy was recording the time.

Still her eyes remained on where Peeta last stood.

‘Beep…beep…beep…’

“Doctor!” someone shouted. “We’re getting something!”

Katniss’ vision cleared and she looked to see Prim peeking down at her brother.

“Peeta?” Prim whimpered.

The room stilled, the only sound the sudden steady beeping on the heart monitor.

A cough erupted from Peeta’s chest and she felt Johanna’s hands drop from her shoulders in shock.

Dr. Abernathy rushed to the bed where Peeta was slowly moving his head. “Peeta, can you hear me?”

Then, “Of course…I have perfect hearing.”

Prim burst into tears, pressing her face against her brother’s chest while Cato gripped the railing as he wiped his eyes. Dr. Abernathy was shouting orders to the medical team, his hands shaking as he began to examine his student.

And, Katniss—was now just a stranger.

“Let’s go,” she told Johanna.

Her friend looked to her. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t belong here anymore.”

++++++

Three Months later…

“Alba said her Uncle Peeta was asking about you.”

Katniss looked at her son as they headed home. It was strange; three months had passed, and it was like Peeta had been a dream to her son. He never mentioned him anymore nor did he say anything about ever seeing him.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Cole replied. “She said that he asked her if she ever saw you when you dropped me off.”

“That’s interesting,” Katniss responded. “Anything else?”

“Yeah. Alba said he asked if you looked alright,” her son told her.

“What did you tell her?” she asked curiously.

“I told her that you look liked…Mommy,” he replied. “And, that we were spending a lot more time together since you don’t have to go to work anymore.”

Katniss had turned in her resignation that very day per Dr. Abernathy’s stipulation and she hadn’t looked back. In truth, it would have been too strange to be at a hospital where she’d be known as that nurse who spent the night with a comatose patient.

She had saved a good amount of money, so they were okay for the time being—or until Katniss found something where they didn’t need references.

“Hey look!” Cole pointed ahead. “It’s Alba’s Uncle.”

Katniss froze seeing Peeta standing in front of their building steps, his gaze trained on her.

She could feel her heart beating in her ears as they made their way closer—closer to him.

Peeta smiled at her son. “Hey Cole!”

Cole grinned up at the man. “How do you know my name?”

He looked to Katniss in question and she shook her head.

Recovering quickly, Peeta gave him an easy smile.

“Alba has mentioned you a few million times. You two sit next to each other, right?”

“Sweetie, it’s getting cold. Why don’t you go up while I see what Mr. Mellark wants?” Katniss handed her keys to Cole. Hopefully, she didn’t look as shaky as she was feeling. “I’ll be up in a few to start dinner.”

“Okay, Mommy!” Cole waved to Peeta. “See you later!”

He rushed up to the main door but upon reaching the top, Cole suddenly looked to the man.

“Do you like mac and cheese?”

“Love it,” Peeta told him.

Content with his answer, Cole walked into the apartment building.

Peeta approached her. “You disappeared on me.”

“I had to give you that time with your family,” she said, her eyes on him. “I had months with you.”

Peeta looked healthy and strong…and so alive. Katniss could feel that familiar pulsing in her body in his presence. Somehow, all he had to do was stand next to her and she could already feel herself coming undone.

“Plus,” she continued. “I promised Dr. Abernathy that I would resign if they let me stay during…the procedure. Also, your sister thinks I’m a nutjob and everyone knows me as that nurse who was in love with the coma guy.”

“Prim doesn’t think you’re a nutjob,” he assured her. “In fact, once I explained everything, she went to Haymitch and demanded that they get you back. You’ve been dodging his calls.”

“I’m on a different path now,” she said wryly.

“So, I’m not the only one,” Peeta said.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” He sat down on the apartment steps, patting the spot next to him. Katniss joined him and Peeta scooted closer to her. “I’ve spent so much time saving lives that I think it’s time for me to focus on my own life. So, I’m currently living at my sister’s house since my apartment is now occupied and trying to find my new happiness.”

“Hmm…” Katniss nodded thoughtfully. “Any ideas?”

Peeta reached over, taking her gloved hand, and removed the covering finger by finger. Her hand unclothed, he intertwined their fingers and she gasped at the rush that filled her.

“Felt that too?” Peeta looked down at their joined hands. “I feel like I’ve been waiting a lifetime to do this.” His gaze went to her and he reached, cupping her cheek. “Also, I remembered something.”

Katniss leaned into his touch. “What?”

“I owe you one hell of a kiss.”

Then, his lips were on hers.

Her arms wove around his neck as Peeta deepened the kiss—this honey thick kiss that made every part of her come to life, that made her long for more. When he groaned into her mouth and swept his tongue along hers, Katniss shivered in pleasure feeling his hum against her lips.

It was all real. He was real.

Tears filled her eyes at the thought that once-upon-a-time, the thought of even a small touch was impossible.

Finally, and reluctantly, they pulled apart, both breathless.

“How was that?” Peeta gasped, his cheeks pink.

“I think we should continue this at my place,” Katniss told him. “After Cole has gone to bed.”

“Well, you are technically squatting in my apartment,” Peeta said as he helped her up. “So, you owe me.”

Katniss grinned. “How about your own side on my bed and all the mac and cheese you can eat?”

“Throw in a first date, a few make-out sessions, accepting my proposal, and a kid or two and we have a deal.”

Turning to him, Katniss pressed a kiss to his lips. “Deal.”

Hand in hand, they made their way home.

FIN.

The title comes from the lyrics of “Just Like Heaven” the song from which the movie title was taken from.

Anyways, Happy Halloween!

Till next time,

JLaLa

[theydontknowaboutusimagines]

Yes - Harry Styles Series (Part 34)

Part 33

You stared at the picture of Harry and some other woman on your father’s phone. You couldn’t tell where the photo was taken, but it appeared to be at some club or party. There were other people in the background of the photo. Harry and the woman were quite close, almost as if they were dancing and his lips were pressed against hers. His hands were on her ass and she was pressing her chest against him. 

Harry’s face was a bit hidden due to the kiss, but the tattoos on his arms were quite evident. However, they could have been photoshopped onto some random person. 

“That-that’s not him. He wouldn’t do that,” you shook your head. 

“Are you sure? Because it seems to me that he did, in fact, do that,” your father said. “And this just so happens to be the only time we have evidence, who knows how often he’s done this.” 

You shook your head getting up from the couch and pacing around the living room. 

“No, no, he loves me,” you said. “We’re happy. We’re a family, he wouldn’t... he wouldn’t jeopardize that.” 

“The proof is right there,” your mom said. 

“That’s not... that’s not proof. Anyone could have photoshopped that photo,” you said. “I need to.. I need to ask him.” 

“Like he’s going to confess to you,” she rolled her eyes. “If he admits to cheating on you, he knows he’s going to lose you and Mac.” 

“Just stop!” You cried. “Just stop!” 

You ran upstairs and into the bedroom, tears pouring down your face. Harry was in the bathroom, taking a shower, while Mac was fast asleep in his crib. You knew you were going to have to have this conversation in a different room. A conversation you never thought you’d have to have. A conversation you wish you didn’t have to have. 

You sat on the bed as you waited for Harry to emerge from the bathroom. 

**

When Harry walked out of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around his waist, steam flowing out into the room, he didn’t expect to see you sitting on the bed, a stoic look on your face, with tears streaming down it. 

“Baby?” He asked walking closer to you. “Baby, what’s wrong?” 

“You need to get dressed and meet me in your office,” you said. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked walking over to grab some clothes. 

“You tell me,” you mumbled before getting up and walking into his office across the hallway. 

When you both got into the office, he shut the door and looked at you worriedly. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. 

“Have you ever... Have you ever cheated on me since we got back together?” You asked. 

“Wait? What?” He asked freezing in place. “Where’s this coming from?” 

“That’s not exactly a no,” you pointed out. 

“Because I’m confused as hell on why this is a topic of conversation, right now,” he said. 

“My parents-” you said. 

“Oh, so you parents’ planted a seed in your head about me cheating on you and now all of sudden I’m the bad guy huh?” He asked. 

“They didn’t plant a seed in my head,” you said. “They showed me a photo of you grinding and fucking making out with another woman who isn’t me!” 

All color drained from Harry’s face. He looked as if he was going to be physically sick. “What... what?” He whispered. 

“You’re not even going to deny it?” You whispered. 

“I-Y/N.. It’s not.. It’s not what you think,” he said. 

“Not what I think? What I think is that it’s a bullshit picture that was photoshopped, but apparently what I think he’s a fucking lie and you did... you cheated... how could you... how fucking could you!” You shouted. 

“I didn’t... I didn’t fucking sleep with her!” He said. “Nothing else happened... I swear to you.” 

“And how am I supposed to believe that? You were fucking sucking her face off Harry. Your hands were grabbing her ass! I’m surprised you two didn’t fuck right then and there,” you snapped. 

“We didn’t fuck... we kissed that was it,” he said. “I’ll admit that it.. it almost became more, but it didn’t. I stopped it after that kiss.” 

You shook your head, “I can’t believe you. I defended you to my parents! I told them you would never cheat on me... that you’d never jeopardize our family, but you did... you have.” 

“No, no, Y/N... I didn’t... I swear to you,” he said. “I only kissed her. I was drunk... I know it’s no excuse... but it happened so long ago.” 

“How long ago?” You asked. “When I was at home alone, pregnant with our baby? When I was at home taking care of our baby while you were supposedly out working? How far did it go before you remembered me? Huh... are you even with me because you love me or because I’m the mother of your child?” 

“I... I don’t.. I... It happened when I was in Australia. I was exhausted... and had been drinking. We were out at a bar, that was too crowded. This woman.. she came up to me... we started talking and then as I kept drinking... she moved closer and I just.. I fucked up okay, but as soon as she kissed me, I realized she was getting the wrong Idea. I swear to you that I stopped it after that. I didn’t fuck her. I didn’t cheat on you other than just a kiss. I’ve never even seen her again and I don’t want to see her,” he said. 

“And of course I fucking love you. I felt horrible after it happened. I almost flew home because of it, but Jeff told me I only had a few shows left and then I’d be home to make it right. I was going to tell you... I promise you I was going to tell you as soon as I got home, but then Mac was born and we had enough shit on our plates.. and I just thought... I thought since it wasn’t more than a kiss it was better to just leave it in the past,” he whispered. 

“But it was more than just a kiss, Harry,” you whispered. “It was everything.” 

“Not to me,” he said grabbing your hand. “I’m sorry it happened and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but-” 

“How am I supposed to trust you now?” You whispered. “How am I supposed to just go back to how we were knowing that you did this and you kept it from me. Had you told me as soon as it happened, it may be different. Yeah, I’d still be fucking livid, but at least you would have been honest and I would have thought it was just a kiss.... but now, it must have meant something for you to hide it this long.” 

“Y/N-No-I,” he started. 

“Since this is your house, I’ll leave with Mac and my parents in the morning,” you whispered. “We’ll stay at a hotel until -” 

“No, Y/N, please!” He cried. 

“It’s done Harry,” you said. “I can’t.. I can’t look at you right now. I need... I need space.” 

“Y/N- I... I love you,” he whispered. 

“I love you too and that’s why this hurts so fucking much,” you cried. 

You walked out of his office and went into the bedroom. You grabbed everything you would need for the night and headed into the extra guest bedroom. You shut the door and locked it before climbing into bed and crying your eyes out. 

Once again the universe had spoken, you and Harry maybe just aren’t meant to be together. 

Looks like love may not ever be enough. 

**

Harry fell to his knees in his office when you walked out. He felt like someone had stabbed his heart and ripped out of his chest. He hated himself. Hated what he had done. Nothing happened... but a kiss. A stupid kiss... A stupid kiss that ultimately was going to cause him to lose his family. 

And if did in fact happen, Harry didn’t know if he could handle it. You and Mac were everything to him and he would be nothing without you two. 

**

Sooooo.. what did you think??

[masksandtruths]

Never Normal: Part One

A/N: This was done for @revwinchester's Y1K Challenge, and in typical "me" fashion, I got a bit long winded. The prompt I chose is towards the end in bold font. This one isn't going to be a series, but there will be a part 2, which will explain a few things, including the story behind the reader's post-it note. Anyway, congrats Rev, and I hope y'all love it!

Summary: When the Winchesters found Y/N the moment after her world fell apart, she never expected they’d be the ones to help her put it back together--but that’s exactly what they did. From friends, to brothers, to the possibility of something more--their lives together were far from normal, which was exactly how she liked it. 

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader (mentioned here, but the majority will be in Part 2 & 3); Sam Winchester; Reader's sibling

Warnings: Swearing, Semi-fluffy, Drinking, Violence, Sibling death, so of course, also a little Angst.

Word Count: 3400-ish

“Okay, I give up. Where the hell do you two turds keep the ketchup in this dimly lit den of testosterone?” you asked, slamming the pantry door closed and throwing your hands up in defeat.

Sam looked up from the pot of green beans he was preparing on the stove and smiled when he saw you standing there in a state of distress over their poorly stocked fridge and cabinets. “Unless Dean has some leftover ketchup packets from the last fast food joint he raided, I’d say you’re out of luck.”

“That’s about par. No coffee creamer either…or fluffy pillows…or chick flicks…definitely no feminine products…and if your hair wasn’t damn near as long as mine, I’d bet my big toe there’d be no conditioner in this joint either,” you joked, playfully tugging a piece of Sam’s long hair as you passed by him on your way to finish setting the table.

When you were done placing the last steaming bowl of food in the center of the table a few minutes later, you took a step back and admired your handiwork. Three real plates accompanied by actual silverware, cloth napkins, and crystal glasses sat on its wooden surface. The rest of the space was filled with heaping bowls of salad, green beans, mac and cheese, mashed potatoes and dinner rolls. It was enough to feed an army, and there was no way all of it was going to get eaten—even though you had a strong feeling Dean would give it his best shot—but it looked exactly like you hoped it would. Like the birthday dinners you used to share with your little sister.

Your breath caught in your throat, and you mentally braced yourself against the wave of crippling pain and overwhelming sense of loss that usually slammed into you seconds after recalling memories of your younger sibling—but it never came. Normally at this point, a sadness like none you’d ever known before would flood your soul, the weight of it knocking the air from your lungs and crushing the already broken heart beating in your chest—but not this time.  This time, the simple, happy memory of your little sister didn’t rip open the gaping wound inside of you—the one you’d been struggling to heal since the day you’d found her lifeless body in your kitchen—and leave you in a crying, crumpled mess on the floor. Instead, you felt what you assumed most people felt when they started to come back from that level of emotional trauma—something like a mixture of closure and relief and acceptance.

You allowed yourself to remember the first time you decided to have a fancy dinner in honor of her birthday. Five months prior to that day, you had held her hand in the cemetery as you both cried and said goodbye to your parents for the last time. Afterwards, you had told the few distant family members in attendance that you would become her legal guardian, and she’d be living with you from now on. Maybe it was because you were a full decade older than her, finished with college, and working a full-time job…or maybe it was the way you spoke so matter-of-factly—your words filled with love and determination, but everyone had accepted your declaration without argument or objection.

In the blink of an eye, you went from being a sibling to also being a parent, and you never—not even for one second—doubted or regretted that decision.  You found strength in each other as you both grieved and adjusted to your new version of normal—and before you knew it, nearly half a year had passed, and her thirteenth birthday was quickly approaching. You recalled thinking that no kid should have to become a teenager without her parents at her side, so you did what you do best and overcompensated, hoping it would bring her a little bit of happiness on a day that could easily take a turn into a more depressing territory. You talked to a couple of her friends and arranged for them all to go to the movies after volleyball practice that day, giving you a few hours to set everything up.

After you got off work, you rushed to the grocery store, gathering the ingredients to whip up all the foods she loved most in the world, and then spent the evening rushing around the kitchen like a madwoman. Just as you were setting the last piece of your mom and dad’s wedding china on the table, three very excited teenage girls burst through the front door squealing about the Harry Potter movie they had just watched.

“Oh my gosh, sis. You wouldn’t believe how good the last movie is. Seriously, people clapped. We totally have to go back so you can--.”

She stopped midsentence as she took in the scene before her, eyes lighting up when she noticed the bowls of food on the table and the presents purchased by you and her friends stacked all around her chair. “Surprise! Happy 13th birthday, kiddo!” you shouted happily, popping the cork on a bottle of sparkling white grape juice as you did so. She stood there in shock for a brief moment before jumping up and down and shooting straight towards you, nearly knocking you off your feet when she threw her arms around your neck and excitedly told you over and over how much she loved you. A few months later, she did the same thing for your birthday, and just like that, your special birthday dinner tradition was born.  

Five years later, the tradition still held, and you watched as she blew out eighteen candles on her cake and chattered happily about her upcoming move to Houston and her acceptance to Rice University’s premedical program. Never in a million years would you have imagined a vampire would rob you of the opportunity to watch her add another candle to her cake, but on one horrible night, in the middle of June, just five weeks shy of her 19th birthday, that’s exactly what happened.

When you found her that evening, the sane part of you knew immediately that she was gone—that the light of your life—your best friend—your baby sister would never open her eyes again. You’d never see her graduate…or become a doctor…or have a family of her own, but you just couldn’t wrap your mind around that right then. So instead, you dropped to your knees and pulled her into your lap, rocking her and stroking her hair like you did when she was a little girl and was sick or had a bad dream.  Out of habit, you rested your chin on top her head and quietly started singing the words of her favorite childhood song.

“Dancing bears, painted wings, things I almost remember; And a song someone sings, once upon a December; Someone holds me safe and warm...”

At that point, your voice broke and you held onto her a little tighter, squeezing your eyes shut as you silently willed her chest to rise and your tears not to fall. But when her chest never rose, your tears decided they didn’t have to listen either.

When the monster found you sitting there a short while later and promised you the same fate, you looked him dead in the eyes and calmly told him to get on with it—that it was better than living in a world without her, anyway.  You kissed her forehead one last time and took a steadying breath, ready for him to put you out of your misery, but before he could follow through, the Winchesters came barreling into the room, machetes swinging. A normal person probably would have felt relief at narrowly avoiding a date with death, but when the monster’s severed head landed next to you that night, the only thing you felt was regret.

They disposed of his body and later helped you bury hers next to your parents. Some small part of your brain was vaguely aware of the concerned glances aimed in your direction, the hushed whispers shared between them, but you were just too drained and heartbroken to care. They must have sensed the depth of your despair—must have somehow known you couldn’t carry the weight of this agony alone—because when you climbed into the back seat of the Impala with blisters on your hands, your clothes covered in dirt from your sister’s freshly dug grave, they didn’t take you home. Dean just slid into the driver’s seat, stuck the key in the ignition, and drove you straight to their bunker. Later you realized that Sam had stayed behind to gather a few of your personal belongings and pack up some of your clothes so you never had to go back to your house if you didn’t want to—a small kindness for which you were eternally grateful. And so, the most horrible and excruciating healing process of your life began.

Over the next seven months, they taught you all about things most people only imagined in their worst nightmares. They taught you how to fight, how to shoot a gun, how to face those monsters when most folks would run screaming in the opposite direction. They checked on you when you cried out in your sleep. Held you as you kicked and screamed—angry at the universe for stealing away the most precious thing in your life. Carried you out of bars when nothing but drinking yourself into a blind stupor seemed to numb the pain of that loss. Laughed with you when the darkness that had smothered your sense of humor for so long started to fade away and you discovered you finally found things funny again. They helped you heal, and in the process, they became your family. A new one. A different one. But family nonetheless. That’s why, when you’d discovered Dean’s birthday was coming up, you’d suggested having a dinner to celebrate—something that seven months ago, you never would have dreamed you’d feel like doing again.

A smiled played across your lips, happy you were now at a point where you could look back on the memories you made with your sister with fondness instead of excruciating pain. Happy you could start to move forward with your life and begin creating new memories with the two men that helped bring light back into your world. You absentmindedly reached your hand into your pocket and touched the post it note you carried with you everywhere, rubbing your thumb across it affectionately.

“Soup’s on,” Dean announced as he stepped into the kitchen carrying a platter of steaks fresh off the grill in one hand and a beer in the other, effectively jolting you out of your walk down memory lane. “Where do you want me to set these babies, Y/N?”

You pointed towards the one empty place on the table, catching a whiff of their scent as Dean placed them in front of you in the spot you’d chosen. “Holy crap, those smell amazing.”

“You’re telling me. Try being the one cooking them. Took everything I had not to grab mine right off the pit and start going town on it.” He looked over at you as he straightened, a warm smile lighting up his face, causing the little crinkles you loved so much to form around his green eyes. He walked over to you and dropped a quick kiss on the top of your head, which made your stomach to do an embarrassing number somersaults. “Thanks for this, sweetheart. It’s already the best birthday I’ve had in a long time.”

“Sure. No problem. It’s a family tradition,” you answered with a shrug, trying to play it somewhat cool. Shit, why couldn’t you just talk to him the same way you talked to Sam? “Oh, because you don’t want to get naked with Sam, that’s why,” you thought sarcastically, rolling your eyes at your own silliness before walking towards the liquor cabinet. You needed a damn drink. You unscrewed the top on the bottle of bourbon and poured yourself a glass, mixing it with a little coke to help soften the bite of the alcohol.

“Uh huh. You were complaining about living with us earlier, but it has its perks, doesn’t it? We may not have the condiments of your choice, but we’ve got an endless supply of liquor,” Sam teased, throwing a wink in your direction—and like the mature, almost thirty-year old you were, you responded by sticking your tongue out at him.

Dean nearly spit out his beer. “What the hell did you just say? What about condoms and liquor?” he sputtered, his green eyes widened in shock and quickly darting back and forth between you and his younger brother. 

Well that was odd. You had initially assumed the choking was due to him thinking Sammy was funny, but the rest of his reaction was just…off. Was that seriously a hint of jealousy you heard in Dean Winchester’s voice? No—couldn’t be—could it?

“Not condoms, you nimrod. Con-di-MENTS,” Sam replied, over exaggerating each syllable of the last word.

“Well excuse me for not speaking moose, asshole,” he bit back, the angry tone of his voice making Sam pull his head back in surprise. Your body, on the other hand, had an entirely different reaction. You knew you were probably reading too much into it, but just imagining there was the slightest chance Dean was acting all grumpy and possessive because he thought you and Sam had been sharing some quality alone time together had you a little…excited. Shit, was it warm in here?

“Dude, chill out. I know your hearing is failing in your old age, but it was just a joke…and no one said anything about condoms.”

For one tense moment, Dean didn’t respond. He just stared at Sam and slowly raised the bottle of beer back up to his lips. Then, just when you started to get really nervous, he let out a small chuckle.

“Geez, you two should see the looks on your faces. Classic.”

You released the breath you didn’t even realize you’d been holding and shook your head. While you were legitimately relieved that WWE Smackdown: Winchester Edition wasn’t about to take place in the kitchen, you couldn’t help but feel a bit of disappointment that all of Dean’s huffiness had simply been another of his jokes. That’s what you got for letting your imagination run wild. 

“In all fairness, you have been known to get hangry a time or two, Dean. Thought maybe your growling stomach got the best of you again.” 

“Me? Hangry? Never.”

“You want to run that by me again?”

“I didn’t stutter, and your ears don’t flap, darlin’.”

“Whatever you say,” you snorted. “Since it’s your birthday, I’m not going to argue with you. Now can we please eat?”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

“You first, birthday boy. Dig in,” you order, swinging your hand forward to smack him on the ass.

“Alright, now,” he warned, quickly reaching behind him to capture your hand before you could pull away. You giggled. Yes, giggled—there was no other way to describe the sound that fell from your lips. Jesus H Christ, you had to pull yourself together.

 “I thought the birthday spanking was supposed to be served during dessert,” Dean joked, releasing your hand, affectionately bumping the underside of your chin with one finger, and flashing you a crooked smile. Lord have mercy—now he just wasn’t fighting fair. It felt as though every drop of blood in your body suddenly made a beeline for your face, overheating your cheeks and turning them as red as the ketchup you’d been searching for earlier.

“For an old man, your brain is still pretty imaginative,” you finally managed to quip back. “Now, get your mind out of the gutter and enjoy the food Sammy and I slaved over all afternoon.”

“Umm, if I remember correctly, I cooked the steaks—which is kind of the most important part of the meal.”

You cocked your hip out and crossed your arms, directing a pointed glance at the long row of bowls filled with sides lining the kitchen table. “Okay,” you sighed dramatically. “You are right. I guess I’ll go ahead and dump all these out…and get rid of the pecan pie that is baking to perfection in the oven as we speak.” You managed to take exactly one step towards the oven before Dean blocked your path. So predictable, you think, a smile lighting up your face as you look up at the older Winchester.

“You take one more step towards that pie, and I’ll throw you down and hog tie you, Y/N. I’m not even playing.”

“You sure know how to make a girl’s heart go pitter patter, Dean. But how about we save that little fantasy for dessert, too?”  Before you even realized what your body was doing, you took a step towards him then slowly reached up and gently tugged the middle of his shirt, batting your long eyelashes and rolling your bottom lip between your teeth as you did so.

You noticed how the playful look vanished from his green eyes, quickly replaced by something a little darker and a lot hotter. How his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed hard and then stiffened his spine like he might be anticipating something. How his tongue flicked out and slowly ran across his full lips. For a split second, you were proud, and also more than a little shocked, that your flirtations seemed to have some sort of effect on him. But then you caught yourself and realized that was exactly how a normal girl would react, and you refused to fall into that normal girl category. Normal just wasn’t your thing, never really had been, but after…after everything, you developed this freakishly strong aversion to anything to falling within that realm. Your thoughts once again drifted to the note tucked safely away in your pocket.

So instead of following through or allowing yourself to imagine where things might go if you kept up your little performance, you simply grinned at him and spouted off the line he’d used on you a few moments ago, “You should see the look on your face. Classic.”

Your heart was still racing as you  walked straight for your mixed drink, picked it up and downed it in a few big gulps.

Dean’s eyes were still fixed on your back, watching as you poured yourself another one. The sound of Sam’s chair dragging across the floor as he settled into his spot at the dinner table finally broke him out of his little trance. He gave his head a quick shake and cleared his throat before stepping forward to take his seat as well. When you finished mixing your cocktail, you sat down too, and Dean immediately rubbed his hands together excitedly and dug in.

Appreciative groans echoed around the table as everyone took their first bites of the meal. “I swear I could die happy right now,” Dean mumbled through a mouth full of ribeye. “Thanks for springing for the good steaks, Y/N. Totally worth it.”

“Yep," you agreed, "the only thing that would make them better is ketchup.”

“That’s what you wanted to the ketchup for?” Sam asked incredulously, raising his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” you shrugged. “We always ate them with ketchup.” You glanced to your left and saw Dean had quit chewing and was now sitting dead still and staring at you like you had just sprouted a second head.

“Ketchup? On a steak? But why?”

“Because it’s good, you big cry baby. What’s so wrong with that?”

“Well for starters, it’s just downright un-American, that’s what. But second of all, I cook a damn good steak, and I know for a fact they don’t need any friggin’ ketchup to make them edible.”

“It’s not an insult to your cooking skills, Emeril. I just like what I like—and in this case, it’s ketchup…on my steak.”

“You’re not normal, you know that, right?”

A smile tugged at your lips as you leaned towards him, looking him straight in the eyes, and asked, “And when have I ever striven to be normal, Dean?”

He made a show of considering your question, pursing his lips, squinting one eye and looking up towards the ceiling, brow furrowed in concentration. “I’ve got nothing. Guess that means you are a freak.”

“Yep, just like the rest of my family,” you chuckled, leaning back and pointing at Sam and Dean. “But I've got to admit, if I have to eat ketchup-less steak, there’s no one alive I’d rather eat it with than you two idjits.”

Read Part 2 ->

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[holliflower]

2017

Looking back on past Facebook statuses about how hard my year was actually made me laugh this morning. Adulthood is the weirdest, most backward thing and I’m realizing that things don’t get easier, you just get tougher. 

ANYWAY, hey guys. It’s been awhile. Yes, I’m still alive. Yes, Simba is doing great. Unfortunately, Florida is not warm right now but she is sunny so we’ve got that going for us. 

I wanted to wrap up 2017 in a blog post because it’s been a hot second since I posted something for real. But instead of dwelling on what went horribly wrong and that sort of thing I want to talk about what went right- specifically in my lord and savior, my sweet angel, MUSIC.

Jam of the Year: Feel It Still by Portugal. The Man But really if you didn’t know the words to this song by the end of the year, did you even live? It’s so catchy... like... SO catchy. I don’t even know how to describe it. Plus, my mom likes it because she was born in 1966. 

Album of the Year: After Laughter by Paramore Paramore and Harry Styles dropped their albums at the same time this year and it stressed me out. Mostly because I didn’t know who to listen to first. Of course, I chose Paramore because I’ve been in love with them for about 10 years. After Laughter left their old style behind and created a beautiful 80s wave, which I was so here for. If you haven’t done it yet, listen to it top to bottom (the link above is the entire album fo’ free on YouTube... so you have no excuse).  Favorite tracks: Pool, Idle Worship, 26, Tell Me How, Told You So

70s Revival of the Year: Harry Styles by Harry Styles I had already been crying about Paramore’s album when I started listening to Harry’s album so naturally, I stayed up ‘til three in the morning crying as soon the first few lyrics of “Meet Me In The Hallway” flowed through my headphones. He encompassed everything I was feeling at the time and it was TOO REAL but also SO RIGHT. Plus, his voice is beautiful... and he’s just a beautiful person. It was cool to watch him leave the pop behind and reach for something that felt definitively his. (Again, I left you a link up there that is the whole album; listen to it top to bottom and you won’t regret it) Favorite tracks: Meet Me in the Hallway, Ever Since New York, Kiwi

“Who Hurt You” of the Year (also Most Relatable of the Year): Flicker by Niall Horan  Like I said, this year was really rough. By the time Niall’s album came out in September there was a lot of things I was over, but I looked back on just like this album. My roommate and I listened to this album a lot together and constantly asked who hurt Niall because he’s just a perfect angel. This album has very Ed Sheeran-esque vibes mixed with some underlying Fleetwood Mac. It’s very easy listening and very catchy, even the sadder songs.  The saddest tracks: Too Much To Ask, Flicker, This Town Favorite tracks; On The Loose, Paper Houses, Since We’re Alone

Comeback of the Year (also Best Concert of the Year): Sacred Hearts Club by Foster the People I was lucky enough to see Foster the People this year and, let me tell you, that was one of the best concerts I have ever been to. We had so much fun (@markfster and me) and we were about ten feet from Mark Foster so god bless. Every song is a jam. Every lyric is meaningful. It doesn’t get much better than that.  Favorite tracks: Sit Next to Me, Loyal Like Sid and Nancy, Pay the Man, Static Space Lovers

Wasn’t Sure I’d Be Into It But I Am??? of the Year: Velvet Face EP by HalfNoise Zac Farro. Good job, man. That’s all I’ve got to say. I’m SO into it. Also, Scooby’s in the Back is my dog’s theme song. Favorite tracks: Scooby’s in the Back, Someday

Oldie But a Goodie of the Year: EVERYTHING by Fleetwood Mac I mean, duh, right? Almost all of the albums I’ve loved this year have cited these guys an inspiration and you can hear it. A lot of people did covers too. Here are just a few of my favorites:  Harry Styles- The Chain Paramore- Everywhere Go Your Own Way by Niall Horan ((I know this is an ad but he’s so perfect)) 

Things I’m Still Listening to Long After They’re Dead: One Direction, specifically Stockholm Syndrome Okay, so maybe they’re not dead but they’re all doing so well on their solo work that I’m nervous. Stockholm Syndrome 4ever, bb. We’ll see what 2018 brings us, right? 

HAPPY 2018, ANGELS. HERE’S TO ANOTHER GREAT YEAR OF MUSIC. 

[soundofawesomeblog]

100 songs for the ultimate 2017 playlist: this is Estelle’s picks for the best DAMN. tracks of the year.

2017 is the year when everyone is tired of all the bullshit. It is the year when you can’t just be a silent witness. It is the year when whistleblowers brought horrible people down, some of which managed to keep a shiny facade for decades all while being pieces of crap behind closed doors. It is the year (Afro-)American football athletes acted like heroes. It is the year Australia voted in favour of same-sex marriage and realized that love was the answer.

Don’t get me wrong: 2017 was horrible in an awful lot of ways. But we need to look at the positive if we want to be able to advance in 2018. Many artists felt the need to address the state of the world as it is right now and managed to make diamonds from the coal. Some were confrontational, some were loving and caring. But all of the artists behind the 100 songs on this list helped on their own scale to make our lives more bearable. 

As usual, this is my personal list of the best jams of 2017; Léa's list of 100 songs and Mathieu’s choices are also available now. If you want more music, you can revisit my lists of 2014, 2015 and 2016. This time, however, the top 50 tracks will come with a short description so you can know what to expect from them.

100. Cardi B – Bodak Yellow 99. Nilufer Yanya – Golden Cage 98. Wolf Alice – Don’t Delete The Kisses 97. Priests – Nothing Feels Natural 96. Tove Lo – Disco Tits 95. Vince Staples – Crabs In A Bucket 94. Sampha – (No One Knows Me) Like The Piano 93. Future – Mask Off 92. Tops – Petals 91. Cuesta Loeb – Grass It Grows 90. Sleigh Bells – Rainmaker 89. Kesha – Praying 88. Tyler, The Creator feat. ASAP Rocky – Who Dat Boy 87. Father John Misty – Pure Comedy 86. Remo Drive – Art School 85. French Montana feat. Sae Lee – Unforgettable 84. Miguel – Told You So 83. MØ – Nights With You 82. SZA feat. Travis Scott – Love Galore 81. Methyl Ethel – Ubu 80. Carly Rae Jepsen – Cut To The Feeling 79. Alex Lahey – I Haven’t Been Taking Care Of Myself 78. Paramore – Hard Times 77. Jay-Z - The Story of O.J. 76. Charly Bliss – Westermarck

75. King Krule - Dum Surfer 74. The Courtneys - Minnesota 73. LCD Soundsystem – tonite 72. Jay Som – Baybee 71. Slowdive – Don’t Know Why 70. Charli XCX feat. Uffie – Babygirl 69. Lorde – Perfect Places 68. Kelly Lee Owens feat. Jenny Hval – Anxi. 67. Haim – Want You Back 66. Naomi Elizabeth – When You Got The Best You’re Like Wow 65. Japandroids – North East South West 64. Hannah Diamond - Never Again 63. Washed Out – Get Lost 62. BROCKHAMPTON – GUMMY 61. Mura Masa feat. Charli XCX – 1 Night 60. Lana Del Rey feat. The Weeknd – Lust For Life 59. Tkay Maidza & Danny L Harle - Bom Bom 58. Phoebe Bridgers – Motion Sickness 57. St. Vincent – Los Ageless 56. Charly Bliss – Percolator 55. Haim – Right Now 54. Real Estate – Darling 53. Pale Waves – There’s A Honey 52. Makthaverskan – In My Dreams 51. Julien Baker – Appointments

50. Saya - Cold Fire

Canadian newcomer Saya proves that the coolest pop happens North of the border with Cold Fire, the sonic equivalent to a dark thick and sexy cloud of smoke. And it feels just as dangerous as the title implies it.

49, Beach Fossils – Down The Line

Driven by a bouncy bass line worthy of Joy Division, Down the Line sees Beach Fossils revealing a 4am indie text message of a track, a low-key anthem to living a slacker life and trying to find someone to share it with.

48. Calvin Harris feat. Frank Ocean & Migos – Slide

Calvin Harris created with Slide the dancefloor number we always knew Frank Ocean had in him, with inspiration from Thinking 'Bout You's echoed handclaps and Nikes' pitched up vocal hook. More important, Ocean sounds fun in a way we rarely see in his solo work. Migos' verses only add more spice.

47. The Drums – Blood Under My Belt

One of the best songs of the summer, Blood Under My Belt is a catchy slice of effortless indie pop that should stand the test of time like The Drums' best material for decades to come.

46. Lorde – Supercut

Lorde embodies the millennial generation through one of our best guilty pleasures: supercut videos. The song feels as dizzying as the lyrics, with various moving parts stitched together better than any supercut you'll find on YouTube.

45. Kendrick Lamar – DNA.

Kendrick Lamar's attack mode is something to behold. On DNA. he raps about his blackness and attacks FOX News' divisive and clueless stances, all while riding one of the hardest beat of the year on the track's back end.

44. Selena Gomez – Bad Liar

Selena Gomez gets serious indie cred for sampling Psycho Killer's bass line, and the fact that it's pretty much all that backs her up on Bad Liar showcases her talent as a charismatic interpret for this year's best low-key pop moment.

43. Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile - Over Everything

Two of the greatest slack-rock icons of today pair up for some serious hammock soundtrack as Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile stop time together in the chilliest of ways on Over Everything.

42. Björk - The Gate

"It’s about rediscovering love", said Björk to Dazed about her latest album, Utopia. Lead single The Gate showcases the veteran artist surrounded by reverb and deep love, pleading for the unnamed "you" to care for her until Arca's production finally takes over.

41. LCD Soundsystem - call the police

James Murphy and his friends have lost nothing of their dance-punk instincts and LCD Soundsystem builds another snowballing number with call the police, a track that becomes so manic you might as well text the cops.

40. Colour Of Spring - Love

Leeds' best-kept secret, Colour of Spring is yet to release a full album, but Love sounds like it came from a classic shoegaze band with years of experience, all while keeping the urgency of someone trying to break out into the scene.

39. Kelela - LMK

Kelela came of age on Take Me Apart, her first full-length album and LMK is the sound of an artist finding her own, unique lane. Here, Kelela mixes Smooth R&B vocals to a bass-heavy beat from the future.

38. (Sandy) Alex G - Bobby

(Sandy) Alex G's latest album was a little less lo-fi than his earlier works, but Bobby proves that he can still make charming and honest folk music when he wants. Emily Yacina's voice only adds more warmth to a track as comfortable as a blanket.

37. The War On Drugs - Holding On

Channeling the gods of classic rock and indie, The War On Drugs deliver one of the band's most immediate and blown up song of its catalogue with the urgent Holding On.

36. Mac Demarco - My Old Man

Freak folk icon Mac DeMarco realizes he is becoming like his father in the worst ways on My Old Man, but his trademark no fuss delivery renders his uh-ohs as charming as he can be.

35. Lil Uzi Vert - XO TOUR Llif3

The exact moment where grunge, SoundCloud, hip-hop and mainstream collided together, XO TOUR Llif3 is one of the most depressing but also fascinating singles to make it to the top 10 of the Billboard Hot 100.

34. Kevin Morby - City Music

Even with a limited set of lyrics, folk rock artist Kevin Morby channels his inner Marquee Moon on the ambitious City Music, a musical trip that starts with a soothing guitar riff and turns into a damn fine jam.

33. Miguel feat. Travis Scott - Sky Walker

It's no news that Miguel can do sexy, but with Sky Walker, he injects a whole dose of fun and raunchy one-liners to his music for a smooth party number.

32. Alvvays - In Undertow

On In Undertow, indie pop darlings Alvvays' comeback single, the Canadian band sounds more direct and confident than ever. With its waves of guitar wooshes and Molly Rankins’ unique voice, it’s a real heartthrob. 

31. Frank Ocean - Chanel

Frank Ocean is on a streak; after releasing the outstanding Blonde in 2016, he came back with several singles in 2017. On Chanel, he blurs the lines between rapping and crooning, carrying the sparse production all the way over the high expectations he now has to deal with.

30. Alice Glass - Without Love

God bless Alice Glass and her comeback. There was no better way to start the next chapter of her career than with such a devastating electropop single, one where she channels a mix of the darkest parts of Samus from Metroid and Grimes for unique results.

29. SZA - Drew Barrymore

Perhaps the biggest revelation of 2017, SZA exposes all of her flaws and insecurities on Drew Barrymore, an honest R&B ballad set to a gin-fuelled backbeat. Her skilful flow in the verses is only a bonus.

28. Miya Folick - Give It To Me

Miya Folick showcases a sweet voice over a sparse guitar riff until she really, really wants you to give it to her. Then, her voice launches into the stratosphere as goosebumps emerge from your entire body.

27. Slowdive - Sugar For The Pill

Sugar for the Pill is quite the ballad, but it is still the most pop Slowdive has ever been with Neil Halstead's voice front and center over the dreamy guitars.

26. Vince Staples - Big FIsh

Don't let the banging beat or an uncredited Juicy J fool you with its club-ready hook; Vince Staples is not praising partying, money and booze on Big Fish. He instead reflects on his past misfortunes and how he can try to leave it behind him.

25. Thundercat - Friend Zone

No one did groovy in 2017 the way Thundercat did. Friend Zone is the best example of this, with its dizzying synths, bouncy bass line and Thundercat's unique voice.

24. Jay Som - The Bus Song

Jay Som is a low-key girl. She makes bedroom pop and likes the bus. Yet on The Bus Song, she hints at bigger ambitions with her rich arrangements and undeniable sense of melody. 

23. Jay-Z - 4:44

One year after Beyoncé called him out for cheating on Lemonade, Jay-Z takes the blame and faces how he fucked up on 4:44. And unlike the wave of apologies that came out in the last few months, this one feels sincere. Oh, and it's got quite the beat too.

22, Waxahatchee - Never Been Wrong

Katie Crutchfield opens her fourth album as Waxahatchee with a solid rock single, ready to defeat someone who wronged her badly - and who is definitely going to regret it.

21. Screaming Females - Glass House

This post-punk number is driven by an incessant bassline and start-stops from the rest of the band while Marissa Paternoster gives an unforgettable vocal performance.

20. The xx - I Dare You

Oliver Sim and Romy's voices intertwine perfectly on I Dare You, pleading to fall in love over a Jamie xx beat that recalls the band’s early days.

19. Charly Bliss - Glitter

Real glitter is apparently as toxic to the environment than the relationship Eva Hendricks details in this track, one that matches powerpop and indie aspirations with melody, fun and one hell of a hook.

18. Pierre Kwenders - Sexus Plexus Nexus

Polyglot, Montréal-based Pierre Kwenders offers a smooth as hell mix of world music on Sexus Plexus Nexus, a track that should bring bodies closer to each other on any dancefloor.

17. Tyler, The Creator feat. Frank Ocean & Steve Lacy - 911/Mr. Lonely

Tyler, The Creator enlists Steve Lacy and Frank Ocean for a breezy complaint about being lonely on 911, a trend he flips on the Mr. Lonely part of the song. There, he quits playing games and admits that he can't even lie, he's been lonely as fuck.

16. Mount Eerie - Real Death

Death became a common theme in music lately, and Mount Eerie's mourning of his wife on Real Death might be the most honest, direct and arresting testament of grief yet.

15. The War On Drugs - Thinking Of A Place

It's not the first trick in the book to release a comeback single that runs for eleven minutes. But The War On Drugs pulls it off with Thinking Of A Place, a song that embraces classic and indie rock in a laidback way. After all, we've got all our time.

14. Slowdive - Slomo

Slowdive's Slomo is seven minutes of pure bliss. Three decades in the scene, the British band manages to bring a track that already sits up there as one of the best shoegaze anthems.

13. Khalid - Young Dumb & Broke

"Yeah we're just young, dumb and broke, but we still got love to give" sings the newly Grammy nominated Khalid. Here, he delivers a laidback anthem for a generation that has nothing else to do but get high and live its life like there are still plenty of tomorrows.

12. St. Vincent - New York

St. Vincent is now an insane BDSM lord, but her most powerful single in 2017 was still a tender ballad called New York. Is it a love letter to the city? To David Bowie? To her ex? No answer can be as satisfying as the way she says "motherfucker" in the track.

11. Julien Baker - Turn Out The Lights

Julien Baker knows how to strip naked her emotions in her songs. In Turn Out the Lights' finale, she lets it all out as she realizes she needs to get out of her lowest point on her own.

10. Julie Byrne - Natural Blue

Singer-songwriter Julie Byrne looks as peaceful as ever on the cover of her latest indie folk album Not Even Happiness, and highlight ballad Natural Blue feels just as comforting.

9. Japandroids - No Known Drink Or Drug

All Japandroids songs are propelled by a crunchy riff and a big rush of passion. No Known Drink Or Drug just happens to pack an unmatched level of it all, as rock and love triumphs in a truly life-affirming anthem.

8. Alvvays - Dreams Tonite

Dreams Tonite unfolds like a flower in Spring, with Molly Rankin's voice as sweet as a late-night milkshake for a soothing and timeless twee pop number.

7. Perfume Genius - Slip Away

The single most uplifting moment in a song this year comes exactly 49 seconds into Slip Away. Perfume Genius opens the curtains wide to show his love to the world in the loudest chamber pop number.

6. Kendrick Lamar - HUMBLE.

Kendrick never really left, but HUMBLE. hits harder than any comeback. Kung Fu Kenny's first solo #1 saw him take the throne and shut down all pretenders as hip-hop biggest force.

5. Lorde - Green Light

Lorde is all grown up now and she knows how to build a memorable, if quirkily constructed, hit single. Green Light is the sound of a popstar hitting her zeitgeist, a dance song that feels vital.

4. Charli XCX - Boys

My favorite emoji lately has hearts in lieu of eyes and Boys sounds like its favorite song. Here, Charli gets lost in her pretty boys' fantasies, laying in a bed full of heart-shaped pillows, and forgets about her problems, one game coin sound at a time.

3. Lana Del Rey - Love

After years of dark and bleak songs, Lana Del Rey decided in 2017 to look out for us. For the first time, she sounds happy and bubbly: Love was the unexpected rush of hope we so desperately needed this year. "Don't worry baby..."

2. Vince Staples - Yeah Right

With boundaries-pushing production from SOPHIE and Flume, Vince Staples provides the most forward-thinking rap song of the year. Add Kendrick flexing one of his best flows in a guest verse and you've got the biggest banger you haven't heard yet on Yeah Right.

1. Sorority Noise - No Halo

Written by Cameron Boucher as he pulled off in front of his friend's house, forgetting he passed away a year ago, No Halo is emo's most essential single in this decade. An arresting number, the song reaches a whole new level on its gut-wrenching chorus.In a year when our heads spun out of control in all directions, No Halo is a reminder that life is short and that you should tell your close ones that you love them before it’s too late.

This is it for this year, one in which I found myself toying with the top 10 up until the very last minute. If you want to listen to these songs, I encourage you to check the Spotify playlist at the bottom that should contain almost all of the tracks you’ve seen here.