#Bruno lets him do it because if he doesn’t have paperwork to do he starts going insane

[ambyandony]

every time I draw pannacotta fugo in sketches he’s always just holdin papers n shit 😭

[sluttbuttsstuff]

So what if Bruno used his zipper for other things....

Pairing: Bruno x Reader, Giorno x reader

(Giorno’s Don, everyone’s alive! AU)

warnings: not sfw, cucking (on both ends???), dubcon, cheating, zipper play, chastity, threeway, anal, femdom, everyone is 18+, afab reader, sorry this is so rushed and sloppy etc)

Imagine Darling is with Bruno, but Giorno is still interested in them.  Giorno kisses Darling’s hand in greeting while looking directly at Bruno, he offers gifts like flowers and jewelry, and insists on putting them on for darling.

Bruno, being the  possessive yandere he is, can’t defy his capo, but he’s also petty and does everything he can to keep darling just for him. He leaves hickeys on your neck, gets “caught” kissing/making out with you by Giorno, and always keeps some part of his body on you whenever in the Don’s presence.  Bruno’s jealousy gets worse and worse, and puts a strain on your relationship, until....

  Bruno and Giorno have silent glare battles whenever Giorno makes Darling go on missions with Giorno, or worse, when Giorno makes Bruno go alone, and Darling stays with Giorno at the base.  It’s been happening more and more often lately, and today, the dam finally breaks.  

As you’re passing some papers for Giorno to fill out, he grabs your hand and pulls you into his lap, surprisingly strong for someone who spends most of his time handling the paperwork of Passione.  He slides the ring Bruno had put on your finger the other night, and kisses you hard, even while you struggle and thump at his chest to breathe.

Giorno is nothing if not persistent, however, and holds you against the desktop face down, while he bites over and around the marks Bruno left before leaving for his mission today.  You protest, trying to explain you’re in love with Bruno without getting off-ed by the Don in a fit of rage.   Giorno merely counter-protests with the unfortunate truth:  you’ve been eyeing him just as much as he’s been watching you.  The way you bit your lip as he braided his hair the other morning, your thighs clenching in anticipation at a slip of his chest when he leaned down over his desk.  He’s seen it all, and he’s not convinced you don’t have any interest in him.

He says this all while pulling off your clothing-when you still put up resistance, he merely turns them into plants and snakes and other things.  As he pulls apart your legs, and lowers his face  to see you, that’s when he notices:

Where your pussy lips should be wet and spread open for him, are zipped up by Sticky fingers.  Like a personal chastity belt, one that only Bucellati could create, your folds are closed tightly, impenetrable by anyone other than Bruno, yourself included.  Giorno isn’t sure whether he’s frustrated or amused; Bruno’s always been a sharp one, and for once he’s managed to outplay even Giorno.

A few possibilities from here:

One: making due with what few options he has, he decides to go ahead and simply use your mouth, fucking your throat until you can’t breathe and taking his frustrations out on you.  

“How could you let him do that to you, y/n?  You definitely should’ve come to me, I would’ve made him unzip you, and fucked you in front of him as revenge.  Wouldn’t that be fun? Making your beloved Bruno squirm as he watches us make love as punishment for his jealousy?  If i were in his position, i would pay people to fuck you whenever i had to be away on work, just so i made sure you were happy and satisfied <3”  Giorno tortures you with dirty talk while he keeps you on your knees under his desk, unable to come and desperate- waiting for Bruno to come back so they can have a little talk.

Two: Giorno isn’t one to accept fate, he’s determined to get you and himself off while Bruno’s gone, even if it means getting a little creative.  He pulls out a vibrator from his desk he was planning on using on you. He pulls you back onto his lap and grinds his dick against the ribbed metal constricting your folds. It feels nice, but it’s not enough, so he slots the vibe in between your dick and pussy.  The vibration hits through the zipper, and stimulates your clit and vulva even if they’re sealed tight.  It feels good on the head of Giorno’s dick too, and your uncontrolled dry humping does a lot for him as well.  It takes longer, but when you both finally orgasm it lasts longer than a normal one, and leaves you feeling all fuzzy.  You fall asleep in his arms and Giorno waits for Bruno to come back.

Three: Depending on how kind/sanitary Bruno is feeling, he may have left your asshole unzipped and ripe for the taking.  If that’s the case, Giorno bends you over the desk, lubes you up, and fucks your asshole.  Giorno thought this was something the two of you would save for later down the line, but he’s happy with the pace you’re going.  If it really bothers you that much, or you can’t come, Giorno’s happy to let you have a turn fucking his ass with a strapon, but before that you both need to have a chat with Bruno…

Four: Sensing that someone is messing with his stand’s handiwork, Bruno rushes back to you, and walks into you and Giorno in the office.  Demanding an explanation, and ready to throttle Giorno, the Don reminds Bruno of the position that he is in.  If Bruno can trust Giorno to control the Passione mob, why can’t he trust Giorno with his darling?  So, Bruno allows Giorno to fuck darling, but only if he can watch, and only if Bruno’s in charge.  Bruno tells Giorno all of your sweet spots, and when you try to protest and take some form of control, he simply zips your mouth shut and forces you onto Giorno’s dick.  Right when you’re so close, Bruno tells Giorno to pull out, before you’re able to cum.  Frustrated sexually, Bruno unzips your mouth and makes you beg for his dick, and then fucks you until you come at least three times in front of Giorno.

Five:  Giorno tries to convince Bruno to let him fuck you, but Bruno says the only way he’s getting to see Darling’s pussy is if Giorno watches Bruno fuck it in front of him.  So, Giorno relents, because in truth, he really does love and respect Bruno, and doesn’t want to ruin their friendship over this.  Bruno fucks you in front of Giorno, telling him about what turns you on and what the two of you have done, even in the base and Giorno’s office.  Eventually, Bruno manages to get both you and him to cum, and zips your pussy up with his cum, and makes you suck off Giorno.

Six: The Jobros are able to put their differences aside, and fuck you together, especially because you asked nicely for it.  They each take a turn with your mouth and pussy, and are even able to double penetrate you at the end and make you squirt.  Everyone talks about their feelings, and an agreement is reached, followed by cuddles

*Bonus Round*:  Darling has had enough of these boys trying to control your pussy, and decides to domm the hell out of both these boys.  You’re able to get the drop on giorno, force him onto the ground and jerk him off and finger him, but only when he starts behaving and acting nice.  Bruno comes back, and is a bit shocked (and hurt) to see you and him messing around.  You manage to stand up for yourself, convince Bruno to take off the zipper, and have a heart to heart about trust and boundaries.  You then make him zip off his own dick and fuck yourself with it, and make Bruno cum.  Since he left a mess, you get him to lick you clean, only for Giorno to recover and help him give you oral.  Then, because you’re in an evil mood, you decide to use Bruno’s unzipped dick on Giorno while Giorno fucks Bruno.  And, because they’re good boys and learned to behave, you let them fuck you both one last time :)

I have all these possible ideas, and yet I can't write any of them for shit :/ If any of the scenarios seem popular, i might give it another go, for now, enjoy this :,) !

[strawberryvanillablast]

Singing Like An Idol (Giorno Giovanna X Reader)

It was an ordinary day at the Passione mansion. Giorno had finally finished all of the paperwork and there was still daylight. As he stretched like a cat, he couldn’t help but sigh in a mixture of loneliness and slight exhaustion. He really needed a break from everything sometimes. He let his legs take him to whatever room that he felt like at the time. 

In a surprising turn, it led him to the karaoke room. He bit his lip. It was quite the questioning choice, considering he didn’t like to sing in front of people much. So why here of all the rooms? He hummed in thought, but decided to go in anyway. Oh well, no harm in going in, right? 

Opening the door, he looked around at the emptiness of it all. Now, the question was which song should he choose? He decided to go for an easy one. Might as well. He wasn’t too confident in his singing vocals. The song started up and one of the bubbliest tunes started to hypnotize him into doing his very best. 

. 

[Y/N] sighed as they walked down the halls in search for a snack. Their musings about their day was halted when they heard singing. High-pitched singing, might they add. Curiosity overtook them and they headed for the karaoke room. Was it Narancia or Mista? As far as they could tell, those two were always the most into karaoke. They opened the door and their jaw dropped. 

I’ll send my cheers of love to the ends of the earth~ There’s no need to worry~ Your tomorrow will be surely SUNNY and full of smiles~

There was Giorno Giovanna, holder of Gold Experience Requiem and Passione Don, actually singing this pop song. His back was to them so they couldn’t really see his face, but that dancing. His golden braid (complete with kitty ear feathers) bounced up and down. [Y/N] stood stock still, not knowing what to make of this. 

Just sighing over and over~  Doesn’t help you move forward~ The problem that’s weighing you down  Just try letting it out, it’ll be fine~

“Hey, [Y/N],” Fugo came up to them. “Where’s Giorno? I need him for...” 

Fugo saw in the direction that they were pointing and blinked in astonishment. It was the rarest sight to see. [Y/N] smiled at just how much fun Giorno was having with this song while Fugo needed some time to comprehend what he was seeing in front of him. Giorno, in the meantime, was just getting started. 

The tears that well up are proof That you don’t want to give in You worry because it’s so important But once you start to realize it yourself, Wonderful~!

. 

Giorno let out a little laugh as he finished the song. Like he said, he didn’t like to sing in front of people. But singing by himself, without nobody around, was quite fun if he had to say so himself. But that was enough singing for one day. And he would look quite foolish if anybody found out. Especially his crush, [Y/N]. 

“Ahem.” 

He froze, the shock not hitting his system quite yet. Therefore, he turned around with as much calm that he had to face the people who saw him sing. Abbacchio, cheeky grin at play, held a camcorder, presumably to record him when he was at his most vulnerable. Bruno smiled, along with Trish. Mista, Narancia, and Fugo’s expression were mixed between goggling in surprise and sparkly-eyed. 

But [Y/N] was beaming at him, which caused his heart to accelerate slightly. The blush that would usually appear on his cheeks thankfully was light. As [Y/N] just walked over to him, he couldn’t help but bite the inside of his cheek. 

“Why didn’t you tell us that you liked to sing?” 

“It’s never been brought up,” Giorno shrugged. “So, it never really crossed my mind.” 

“Oh come on man,” Narancia protested, pointing at him. “You’ve been holding out on us this whole time! We need to sing more songs with you, GioGio!” 

“Of course, if you don’t,” Abbacchio grinned while waving the camcorder around. “We can just play this on repeat for the rest of our lives.” 

“Oh, hush Abba,” [Y/N] pouted before turning to Giorno with a big smile on their face. “I thought you were really cute singing like that! Though, if you don’t prefer being called cute, perhaps I can call you cool? Maybe handsome?” 

They smiled and gave Giorno a nice kiss on the cheek before heading out. Even though the din caused by Mista, Narancia, and even Fugo was quite loud, it was nothing compared to his internal monologue behind his passively calm visage. 

‘T-They called me cute! Handsome! Cool even! Don’t know how to respond! Don’t know how to respond! Don’t know how to compute that even! Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!’

.

Kensho Ono, voice actor of Giorno Giovanna, sang the song in this fic. It’s known as Wonderful Octave. It’s on Youtube if any are curious!

[volfoss]

Team Bucciarati pet headcanons:

(long post under the cut)

Giorno Giovanna:

He would definitely have pet frogs and in his big office, probably a really big terrarium

I think he'd have probably a few frogs but I can see him having an Asian painted frog and a reticulated glass frog

He would be the actual best frog dad and I can see him letting them just chill on his shoulder during meetings

Would probably get random frogs off the street too so his frogs don't get lonely

He'd name them slightly goofy names or let one of the gang name them

When Giorno gets overwhelmed from work, he'll just put some gloves on and hold the frogs for a bit

He has a lot of experience caring for them, because as soon as he realized he could have a pet, he went into research overdrive

Gio is also in change of taking care of Coco Jumbo, and dotes on the turtle a lot! At this point his entire room is nearly a terrarium.

Pannacotta Fugo:

Pannacotta really admires ferrets because of how smart and mischievous they are but didn't feel like he could take care of one because of how he struggles to control his emotions

He brought it up offhand after Narancia got his gerbils and Narancia had no hesitation to help Pannacotta care for a ferret in exchange for help with schoolwork

They went to a lot of pet stores until they found a rescue with a few ferrets left

The second he laid eyes on this adorable white ferret who was napping, Pannacotta's mind was set, this was the pet for him

The ferret immediately snuggled right up to him when he held it

The whole way home (Giorno drove), he was brainstorming names

The first night, he woke up panicked as Purple Haze was out and just watching the ferret, but watching the ferret run around the large enclosure that the gang worked together to get built

PH seemed oddly peaceful but that didn't help Pannacotta feel less worried that it was out, but as the night went on, he found that spending time and playing with the ferret made him feel more comfortable around it in general

Narancia Ghirga:

Definitely a gerbil and probably begged Bruno to take him to a pet store to get one which then turned into two because he couldn't resist the two he found

He would probably keep one or both in his pockets around the house and sneak them little scraps of Bruno's cooking at the dinner table

His favorite thing is seeing them use the toys he got for them or when they sleep on top of each other

Would probably name them adjectives, like Stuzzichine or Coccolone and give them semi ridiculous nicknames

Would keep them on his lap when the gang has a movie night and loves when they fall asleep on him

Trish Una:

Trish really likes lovebirds and has an affinity for birds which she found out when Giorno made her a bird out of paperwork for her birthday

She had to go and get another one so they could play with each other. The trip to the rescue had involved the entire family since no one wanted to turn her down when she looked that excited.

Trish took a while picking one out, as she needed to make sure that they would get along with the bird at home, but she settled on a very cheerful peach-faced lovebird

The entire ride home, the bird was leaning into her head pets and being generally noisy

Trish likes to sing or hum and the birds will chirp along with her

When she works on schoolwork, the birds will perch on her shoulder often times to try and get her attention, which makes schoolwork take a long time. She absolutely loves doting on them

Trish takes the absolute best care of them and gets them the finest things!

Guido Mista:

Dog has 3 legs bc luck

Guido adopted a stray Doberman Pinscher on his way back from a solo mission without telling anyone, other than Giorno who was about to head out when Guido was sneaking into the base

Obviously he couldn't just leave the poor thing there when it was looking at him with those eyes, and he was fairly certain that the actual zoo they had in their base would not be helped by a big dog, but he wasn't going to let Vivian ( he had already named her after the main character of his favorite movie) limp around with no home

Giorno helped smuggle her in since barely anyone else was home, and sent Narancia off to get some dog supplies while he helped Guido get Vivian settled

They helped get her all clean, which was difficult with her tail wagging at a rapid pace, and water was all over the bathroom by the time that they were done

The two of them got the dog all comfy on Mista's (very ugly and questionably patterned) bedspread and she snuggled right up to Guido the second he laid down

The Sex Pistols love the dog too, and find themselves resting on her when she sleeps since Vivian is so warm and riding on her back when she's being played with

Guido is already used to giving the Pistols food, but now he also has a dog (although he doesn't give her a ton of human food) to feed

It doesn't take too long for the rest of the group to realize there is a big dog, especially when Guido trains Vivian a lot during the day or is outside playing with her

Giorno has offered multiple times to make a leg for her missing leg, but Mista insists she's fine without one (and he won't admit that the tetraphobia makes it hard to think about her having 4 legs instead of her 3)

Vivian gets along well with the rest of the pets, thanks to a lot of training and steady introductions to everyone else

Bruno Bucciarati:

He and Leone have had cats for years, although he's constantly the instigating force to bring new animals in (including all the kids pets), he has a massive soft spot for strays

He's the very best cat dad and has blankets quite literally everywhere possible to give the cats as many options to lay and built cat ledges for their windows so the cats can bask in the sun

Has a lint roller in the car because the cats love, love, love to lay on his clothes when he sets them out for a shower. He learned his lesson with his lingerie and does not have that set out after one of the cats clawed into it and destroyed it

Bruno can and will walk the cats if the weather is permitting

He just started bringing the strays home one day, and Leone didn't notice until the 2nd cat started clawing up his pants while he was wearing them

Bruno, in contrast to Leone's bad names, gives the cats some extremely cheesy nicknames and has no shame using them in public

One of the strays that they brought in initially was a very young kitten, and he stayed up all night (ignoring the meeting/job he had the next day) to care for it and make sure it was alright

He SPOILS these cats rotten and they have multiple cat towers around their room because of that

The cats also have customized collars and they are all color coordinated

Bruno really relies on the cats if the memories of somehow surviving the fight become too strong, as the cats can really sense when he's stressed and huddle around him

The cats really like to bat at his zippers, so he makes sure to change out of his suit when he knows he'll be home for the rest of the night

Leone Abbacchio:

So. Many. Cats.

As much as Leone gripes about the fur on his clothes, he loves when the cats come in and keep him company when he's winding down for the day with a good book

He swears he doesn't mean to keep adopting cats but they tend to show up at the base or Bruno sneaks another one home

He has a few blankets piled up under the windowsills so the cats can lay there, but often finds them all on his bed or trailing behind him

He tends to feed strays when they come but tries to not get attached

Has the actual worst names for them and refuses to change even when the rest of the family judges him for it

He often wakes up surrounded by cats or having one lay on his face

Leone and Bruno have had cats for years so are practiced cat dads by now

The kids often will just come and grab a cat if they need a stress reliever

Leone will not admit it but he wakes up early to feed the cats wet food and tries to be stealthy about it

As for cat breeds, most of theirs aren't purebred, but their cats that they know for sure are breeds are semi close to being a Bengal and a Cornish Rex

He keeps toys for them in his bedside table to make sure they don't wake him or Bruno up in the middle of the night with wanting to play (they do anyways)

If he's sitting anywhere, there's a very high chance there's a cat on his lap or laying on his chest if he's reclining

All of the cats are incredibly attached to him and when he's on a mission, they'll wait in a group at the front door until he returns

[mistabullets]

Okay! Imagine! Mista with a S/o that IS Bruno's little sister

> As Bruno’s sister, you respect and appreciate your fratellone.

> He made sure to give you plenty attention when the two of you were younger and in a way, he’s very protective of you. When your father became disabled from the gunshot wounds, Bruno basically raised you and made sure you continue your education. Growing up, it eventually clicked that your older brother was working for the mafia. How else can such a young man his age able to afford your schooling, the nice apartment complex, and your father’s hefty medical bills?

> It made you worried. What if Bruno accidentally cross the wrong people? What if he never came home? You offered to find work, drop out of school, or just do something to ease the burden. You even offered to join Passione but your brother particularly seethed at the idea. “Under absolutely no circumstances will you be doing that, rella. Do me a favor - promise me you will not associate with anyone else in Passione. Am I clear?”

> Swallowing nervously, you promised. He even made you pinky promise.

> Life moved on. Your father passed and Bruno became more committed to his work as he rose through the ranks. Eventually, Bruno found you a nice place in town and paid for your tuition for school. Your essentials were covered. He even made you change your last name so you weren’t associate with him in anyway or form. Bruno always made sure to call you once in day and check in - he was such a mother hen. But you wanted to try to live independently! So you picked up a part time job, perhaps at some cafe, bakery, or restaurant. You didn’t tell your brother about it, since he would throw a fit and tell you to focus on your studies.

> That’s how you met him.

> He was a frequent customer and was quite the looker. A toned body, sun kissed skin, warm dark eyes, and curls peaking out of his hat. He always bought a lot of food - like he had a whole family to feed. But you never questioned it because he was so friendly, maybe a bit too eccentric but endearingly so - sometimes you would sneak him an extra of his favorites. You eventually became aware of his phobia of four and made sure not to give him four of anything. Weeks later, you were bold enough to write your number on a napkin when he made a passing comment how it sucked being single.

> He gave a lopsided smile and asked for your name. You kindly gave it to him and he told you his name. “Guido Mista. I’ll call ya later tonight, Y/N! Maybe we can set up a date or somethin’?”

> When you arrived him, you were eager to receive his call and was pleased when your heard your phone ringing. Eventually, you did set up the date. That date became multiple dates. He started coming over to your apartment and staying the night. It was safe to say the two of you were an item now. There were some questions you would like to ask; why did he have a gun? Why did he talk to himself a lot? How come sometimes he would smell like... iron and death? And god, how much could this man eat? But you assured yourself that it was nothing too serious to fret over. You were just over analyzing.

> Bruno figures out pretty quickly you had a boyfriend and wanted to meet him. But you were quite worried about introducing each other. Your brother was essentially your father figure; he will make it obvious if he approves of your boyfriend or not. You kept postponing dates to meet up - it’s not like you didn’t want Mista to meet Bruno but your brother could be nitpicky about if your lover was good enough for you or not. You didn’t want Guido to feel any pressure from your brother. He was already good enough for you and that’s what matters.

> However Mista is more than eager to introduce you to his familigia. “Well, it’s more like, me and five of dudes but they’re particularly like bros to me!”

> After hearing nothing but praise from your boyfriend, you were looking forward to meeting them as well. When approaching the villa, you wondered how six men in their late teens and early twenties can afford to board such an estate. You were greeted by four other men - a pretty blonde with curls and a braid greeted you, a studious young man in green teaching a messy haired with purple eyes, and a brooding man with long silver hair tuning out the world with his headphones.

> “Finally we can have dinner!” Narancia shouts.

> “Narancia, you dumbass, we have a guest here! And we need to finish this problem here!” Fugo exclaims, looking like he wants to stab the boy.

> “Will the two of you shut up? I can hear you through my headphones and our capo is still doing paperwork upstairs!” Abbacchio takes a glance up at you, “You look quite familiar...” he murmurs.

> Giorno leads you to the kitchen and it smells like your mother’s home meals. You settle in a seat right next to Mista and you can hear your stomach growl. “Our capo was expecting ya and took the time out of his day to make this dish! He’s honestly a really good cook when he wants to be. He’s honestly like, the big brother of this group, aside from Abba over there—“

> “Don’t call me that,” Abbacchio sighs, popping open a bottle of red wine. You giggle - despite the chaos and the energy strumming through the air, you can appreciate how homely it is. You’re growing comfortable already, Mista already has a hold of your hand under the table, happy that everyone so far has been welcoming in their own unique way. You’re growing used the all the noises and clattering of plates, you don’t hear the footsteps approaching. You raise your head up to greet the new presence, only to find a familiar face that looks much like your own. The rest of the gang noticed and perks up, wondering why the two of you look so taken aback.

> “B-Bruno?” you ask in disbelief

> “Huh? Ya know Bucciarati or somethin’, bambina?” your boyfriend ask, swallowing nervously.

> “We do. She’s my sister, after all,” Bruno responds, collecting his composure despite Narancia in the background saying “holy shit that’s your sister?” Even Abbacchio lets out a surprised gasp. Mista is glancing at the two of you, back and forth, the similarities of facial structures and eyes now dawning on the gunslinger. What a small world. And you, on the other hand, are now coming to realization that this must be Bruno’s team. So that means... you’ve been dating a mafioso for the past months now - the gun and the smell of iron (no, blood) made a sense now. And you inadvertently broke Bruno’s promise: to not associate with a gangster.

Perhaps after dinner, we can talk about this.” Oh no. Was he angry? Upset? There was something laced with his words. Dinner passed by with awkward silence, despite how delicious the food was. No wonder it smelled so much like home... You held onto to Mista’s hand, as if to reassure him. And while he couldn’t grasp the entirety of the situation, he tried to sympathize with his capo. He understood why you may have been kept a secret - Passione’s underbelly screamed dangerous and someone would definitely try to use you as bait for Bucciarati. After all, Polpo’s suicide was still being investigated and there have been rumors flying around about how suspicious it was that one of Bruno’s subordinates last saw him alive. This double your risk. Not only was your brother a capo for Passione but your boyfriend was gunslinger for mafia as well.

> After dinner, Bruno wants to talk to Mista alone. You dread whatever his verdict will be and wait outside silently, hoping your brother doesn’t force Mista to cut things off with you. To be frank, you didn’t mind Guido being part of the mafia - sure, it was scary to ponder if your loved one was okay and wonder if they’ll come home alive. But Bruno had survived for this long. Guido definitely had the will to do the same. And you doubt this man would wanna put you in active harm’s way! He cried one time for accidentally hitting your face during a tickle fight once so you knew his motives weren’t ulterior.

> Bruno questioned Mista like it was an interrogation. While he knew his underling was a good man at heart, Bruno couldn’t help but worry for his baby sister - that was his only family left. He was surprised to learn the two of you met at your part time job. Bruno specifically told you not to worry about finances! “Listen Bucciarati, ya sis loves ya. She talks ‘bout what a great guy ya are ‘nd how much you’ve done for her. But... you also been makin’ her feel sheltered. She was so nervous ‘bout us meeting. I... I know ya wanna protect her and so do I! But ya can’t be babyin’ her forever. Ya gotta let her make her own choices. So I ain’t gonna break up with her. That’s up to her, for her to decide, ya know?”

> After reflecting on the younger man’s words, he reluctantly agrees with him. Sure, you are his baby sister but you’re an adult and can make your own decision. You can distinguish what is and isn’t safe. Obviously, you’re not that naive. And perhaps with the gang knowing about your existence, that would grant you extra protection if anything were to happen. He sighs, “Fair enough. But if you break my sister’s heart, I will lock you up in Sticky Finger’s dimension. And make sure you protect her. Understood, Mista?”

> Mista particularly beams. “Understood, capo! Thank ya for blessin’, I promise I’ll take care of her.”

> In the end, you continue to date Mista. It definitely takes awhile to adjust - while your brother is understanding your relationship and respects it, he’ll glare daggers at Mista if he’s being a little too touchy during dinners and outings. You thank Bruno for allowing this relationship and apologize for accidentally breaking that one promise.

> He smiles at you softly, finding it endearing how you kept that to heart. “Well, promise me not to do anything stupid and keep up with your studies, alright?” he offers his pinky to you.

> “Alright, I promise!”

> “Oh, I don’t even think about marriage and kids until you’re done with your studies—“

> “Bruno, hush!”

[costellos]

Hello, pumpkin💫how are you? Hope you eat well, drink enough water and have a good sleep! Thank you so much for reopening request. You are very generous💖 May I ask you to write hc for Bucci gang about how they wanted to be comfort and how they would provide it to s/o in a moment of need? (smth like your love language piece) Thank you again, feel free to skip my request if you'll feel like that! I love you, friend🌻 Also, you are looking really great. I was happy to see your face!

hello, dear!! I just filled up my water bottle, thank you for the reminder 💕 I hope you’re doing the same! and ofc, thank you for the suggestion (and the kind words about my face reveal 🥺). this was super fun to work on, I love being able to pick apart #thefavs like this!! analyzing them in a romantic lens is just so 👀👌 I went a lil crazy as a result, but I knew you wouldn’t mind. ty again for the request friend, I love u!!!!

BUCCI GANG & HOW / WHO THEY LOVE.

➝ tw: swearing

❥ ┋ ❝ bucci gang, how they want to be comforted, & how they comfort in return!

bruno bucciarati.

how he comforts you: admittedly, Bucciarati isn’t one for physical affection. he’ll do it if it’s something you enjoy, but there are ways to love that are much more natural to him. his biggest are doing things for you. he’s very perspective to those little changes in your mood. if he senses that you’re feeling down, he’d take you out on a spontaneous date. where you go depends on what he thinks you need. if he can tell that you want something low key, he’ll take you out at sea to listen to the water and relax. if you’re in need of something different, he’ll treat you to a pop-up art gallery he think you’d enjoy. it’s during your dates that his second way to comfort you comes up: buying you gifts. it doesn’t have to be something extravagant like a new accessory, it can be something as simple as your favorite coffee shop order. ↳ quotes: “is something the matter, amore?” “hm? no, nothing’s on my mind. I just miss seeing your smile.” “I’m taking you out. ...no, you don’t get to know where. just put on something nice.”

how he wants to be comforted: once you can recognize his facial expressions and body language, telling when Bucciarati is upset is quite simple. so is comforting him. he’s an easy partner to please. all he asks is for your time. he’s big on quality time since mobster work takes up so much of his time. as such, you just need to show him that you care. this can be as simple as doing his paperwork for him, to something more elaborate like taking him out. for the latter, Bucciarati needs to be taken somewhere where he can be distracted. it can’t be someplace still like the ocean or a picnic in the vineyards. it has to be something stimulating, like a museum. he has to push whatever’s bothering him to the side. he prefers to sort through his problems by himself, so this is your best bet. ↳ quotes: “there’s just a lot on my mind. ...no, it’s nothing you have to concern yourself with.” “you... you made all this for me? I’m... thank you. I love you, tesore.” “that was thrilling. thank you for taking me out, amore. I don’t know how you do it, but you always manage to make me feel better.”

leone abbachio.

how he comforts you: Abbacchio is, unfortunately, the worst out of the gang when it comes to comforting you. he knows your bothered face far too well. and when he recognizes it, he’s not sure what to do. he’ll be there for you if you want to talk about your feelings (but it doesn’t go much further than that). he’s great for providing a listening ear in that sense. as a result, Abbacchio turns to comforting you by providing for you. I headcanon that he’s a phenomenal cook; he’d learn how to make your favorite dishes and ensure that they’re ready as soon as you get home. likewise, he’s not that great at baking, but he’d do it just for you. another way he’d try to make you feel better is through little favors. he would talk to Bucciarati about assigning you your favorite mission types and making sure your coffee / tea is ready to go in the morning.  ↳ quotes: “what’s that face for?” “here. I know you really like this. I... I hope it tastes fine. it was my first time making it. ...yeah, you’re welcome.” “hey, wait. don’t forget your coffee. ...don’t mention it. I love you, too.”

how he wants to be comforted: Abbacchio is still coping with the death of his partner. it’s been years, yes, but sometimes the thought creeps in through the back of his head. when that happens, he just needs to be left alone. there really isn’t much you can do, anyway. he’d try to stay away from you because he knows that if he gets too antsy, he could snap at you. nothing physical, of course, more so verbal. the last thing he wants is to hurt you. if you want to help him, keep interactions at a minimum. don’t force him to talk, don’t force him to hold you. leave notes reminding him that you love him, make him his coffee in the morning, do his laundry for him. just try to make his life easier while reminding him that your feelings won’t change for him.  ↳ quotes: “look, it’s not you, alright? just... give me some time to myself.” “thanks for the coffee.” “ugh, I’m sorry you had to see all that. let’s go out today. I don’t care where, I just want to treat you. I... I really appreciate your patience. thank you.”

giorno giovanna.

how he comforts you: Giorno is the most perceptive out of the gang. it doesn’t matter how well you think you’re hiding your emotions. he can read right through you. that said, once he detects that you’re upset, he’ll ask what he can do to make it better. part of it is that he’s not sure how you want to be comforted, part of it is that he doesn’t want to waste either of your times guessing. so he’d do whatever you want. go on a date, compliment you, make you your favorite flowers or animals from a board of wood — regardless of what you want, you can count on him to make you feel better. if you leave it up to him, Giorno would opt for just talking with you. he’s the best at comforting you via talking through the issue. he can break down the problem with ease, helping you rationalize your thoughts and what others have said to you. as a result, he gives the most logical advice out of everyone.  ↳ quotes: “mm? what’s wrong, [Name]?” “no, you’re not wasting my time. I love you and I want to help you. so let me help you.” “you’re okay, [Name]. I promise. everything is okay.”

how he wants to be comforted: Giorno tries to hide his feelings from you. it’s easiest that way. less of a burden for you and him. besides, he prefers to figure it out by himself. unfortunately for him, you’ve gotten too good at reading him. Giorno prefers that you just be there for him when that happens. he doesn’t want any frills. you don’t have to guide him through the issue or treat him to dates of any kind. just give him little reminders that you care about him. he loves when you pull him into your chest in bed, but he loves it more when you volunteer to do his hair in the morning. he’s closed off due to his childhood. it’s why he won’t divulge his problems and why it took so long for him to be comfortable with physical attention. but being here with you, your fingers raking through his hair, your nails running along his scalp... it reminds him that nothing matters other than being with you. ↳ quotes: “don’t worry about me. I’m alright.” “ah, are you sure? you don’t have to.” “there’s something about you that reminds me that everything will be okay. I don’t know how you do it. but... thank you, [Name]. I love you.”

guido mista.

how he comforts you: finally, someone who’s good at physical affection! Mista loves spoiling you with lots of hugs, kisses, and anything more (wink wink). the moment he sees that you’re upset, he’d pull you into a hug and start kissing your neck. not in the romantic, sexy way. the goofy way. the way that makes you squeal and pull away because it feels funny, but unfortunately for you, he won’t stop. Mista won’t do this if the vibe isn’t right, however. he’s not stupid. if that’s the case, he’ll just sit with you and ask what’s bugging you. he’s a good listener in that he asks a lot of questions to help you navigate through the problem. if it’s a self-image issue, he would hold you and tell you all the reasons why he loves you. and he’ll talk for as long as you want him to, sharing every one of your physical and personal characteristics. 

↳ quotes: “whaaa- babe! what’s with the long face?” “c’mon. let’s talk about it. tell me everything.” “for starters, I think you’re hilarious. you’re so funny you made Abbacchio snort wine through his nose, so that counts for something, right? hmm... I also love your thighs. ugh. can’t get enough of ‘em.”

how he wants to be comforted: Mista gets mopey when he’s upset. he seems sluggish, with his dragging his feet and unfocused attention. thankfully, he’s one of the easiest to comfort. Mista needs a reminder that you care about him, that you remember all those little details about him. you just need to bring him takeout from his favorite restaurant or put on a Clint Eastwood movie, even if you think all his films are corny. another option is to spoil the Pistols. he loves seeing how gentle you are with them. and that he can get a moment of silence for once. the Pistols might even give you hints as to how you can help him feel better! they’re pretty straightforward. likewise, because they’re an extension of Mista himself, any change in their mood would directly affect him, too. it’s a win-win. ↳ quotes: “you got me the tripe from Angelo’s? ...babe, that’s a 30-minute train ride from here! wow... I have to be the luckiest man alive.” “oi, leave them alone! I already have enough on my plate! ...wait, you don’t mind spending time with the Pistols? ...well. if you say so.” “you know I love you, right? I feel like I don’t say that enough.”

narancia ghirga.

how he comforts you: Narancia is also really good at physical attention. he loves holding you, tracing his finger from one of your moles to the other. he’s not as obnoxious about cuddling as Mista is. he’ll talk about whatever’s on his mind to distract you, but if you want him to be quiet, he’d be happy to oblige. he wouldn’t directly ask what’s wrong; he knows when you’re upset, he just doesn’t want to put you in a spot where you should talk about it. that’s what he would want, anyway. so aside from being more physically affectionate or leaving you gifts to make you feel better, he wouldn’t engage about what’s on your mind. Narancia is an excellent listener when you do confront him about it, though. he’ll gossip with you if you’re ranting about someone else. but he’d mostly just sit and listen, letting you divulge everything that’s on your mind. ↳ quotes: “he did that? god, he sounds like a real shithead!!” “you should just punch her. that’d solve a lot of your problems, yanno.” “don’t let it bother you too much, okay? you should put yourself first more. you deserve it!”

how he wants to be comforted: like Giorno, Narancia is closed off emotionally due to his childhood. he won’t talk about what’s on his mind, but you can tell he’s upset. he becomes more irritable and less talkative, like he’s half a second away from fighting anyone. Narancia insists that he doesn’t need any help. after all, he’s gotten this far without it. yet the moment you pull him into your arms, telling him that you love him and that you’re worried about him, that whole cool guy facade melts away. his arms wrap around your figure, his head burying itself in your shoulder. although he won’t say anything, you know that you’ve finally gotten to him. Narancia becomes really clingy after that. he wraps his arms around your waist while you make dinner. he holds your hand while you eat. he even asks that you lay down with him so that he can hold you.  ↳ quotes: “what? nothing’s wrong with me. quit askin’.” “hey... can we go to bed now? ...I just... I just wanna hold you...” “hey... um... I know I can be annoying. thanks for not giving up on me. I... I love you...”

pannacotta fugo.

how he comforts you: Fugo is the best at comforting you, hands down. although he’s not as perceptive as Giorno, his photographic memory allows him to capture all the previous moments where you were upset. he then analyzes every situation and applies what made you feel better then. it’s an analytical way of handling it, but it does work. sometimes, however, people are more than numbers. during those moments, Fugo does what he does best: talking with you. he’ll want you to run through what’s bothering you, even if you try to avoid it. he insists that you need to get it out of your head. thankfully, he’s a phenomenal listener. he can switch between giving advice and offering comfort flawlessly. ↳ quotes: “hey, c’mon. you can’t hide from me. what’s wrong?” “my take? you’re overthinking this. everything will be okay, [Name]. no one hates you. especially not me.” “how are you feeling? ...better? good. please don’t hesitate to come to me. I love you and I’ll always want to help you.”

how he wants to be comforted: unlike the others, Fugo directly comes to you when he’s upset. he’s already established that he can trust you. you can tell something is bothering him when he starts getting quiet. when that happens, he comes over to you, no matter what you’re working on, and drapes himself onto you. he loves feeling how warm you are against him. that in itself is therapeutic. from there, you’re well-aware that he wants you to hold him back. to remind him that he’s loved. that he’s not a burden. he won’t say anything to acknowledge what you tell him, but you know that he’s listening. he runs his fingers over the creases of your shirt, his eyelids low. and when you’re done, he just asks that you lay in silence with him.  ↳ quotes: “can we just lay here? I... I just want to be close to you.” “thank you... I love you.” “I don’t know what I’d do without you. you make my thoughts sit so fucking still. I care about you a lot, okay? don’t do anything stupid. not without me, at least.”

[c-c-cherry]

Bucci Gang Headcanons!! (pt 2)

I was in the Bucci gang mood, so I managed to compile these together!! Jade wasn’t bouncing around ideas with me this time, but @achairwithapandaonit​ was with me on Discord for some of these! Go check them out, as well! Both their fics and art are *mwah*

These are a little less cracky than the ones that Jade and I came up with, but they were still super fun to come up with! I hope you enjoy!

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Contrary to popular belief, Narancia is actually much closer to Abbacchio than he is with Bucciarati

-Any shit going on in his head? He’ll go to Abba. Maybe not directly, but he always find himself talking to Leone about stuff at 3am or burying his face into the man’s shoulder on bad nights

-Bruno is great for hugs and trying to help him in any way he can, but sometimes Nara just needs someone to listen and understand. Cue dadbacchio

-Abbacchio hugs are rare in general, but they’re almost always for Narancia

On the other hand, Bucciarati and Fugo are probably the most tightly-knit in the entire house

-Fugo was the first one that Bruno finds in the whole gang and they spent a significant amount of time living together before everyone else came into the picture

-Fugo will not hug people, but Bruno is an exception (Although it took years of trust to get there)

-Bucciarati claims not to have a favourite but like,,,,Fugo ;-;

-They basically have each other’s mannerisms nailed down. Bruno can usually tell when Fugo’s about to snap and Fugo can tell how stressed Bruno is no matter what blank expression he holds up as a front

-Bruno is the only one who knows why Fugo can’t talk about his experiences at University and Fugo is the only one who knows why Bruno loves (and simultaneously hates) the sea so much. Not even Abba really knows that shit.

-They’re just used to destressing together. Sometimes they just sit together when no one else is around and literally *become* the “Lie down. Try not to cry. Cry a lot” meme and then they watch Star Wars after and never talk about it again because they’re both emotionally constipated lol

Giorno seems well-rounded with intelligence but he’s actually a registered dummy™

-He’s actually only really good at Biology and some math, but any other subject is like No Man’s Land to him

-Everyone thinks he has all this paperwork all the time when in reality he just reads really slowly and doesn’t understand half the shit he’s signing off on

-He’s so tired of avoiding Fugo who always wants to do weird smart people shit and he’s so tired of Mista asking him intellectual questions because he thinks Giorno’s the smartest being on this earth so he turns to the one person who he knows won’t judge him; Narancia

-He admits to Nara that he’s really not smart and he’s scared that people won’t think him valid anymore if he proves to be “useless” and Narancia’s like “shit bro I know exactly what you mean”

-He helps Giorno make up excuses to try and get him out of shit when Bruno slinks out of the shadows like “heyyyyy uhhh I don’t even have a middle school education I get it”

-Honestly Bruno and Gio are the CEOs of “fake it til you make it” and they make Narancia do all their math even though he’s shit at it too

-Narancia has the choice to stop learning math and all that stuff but after Bruno admitted to them that he never had the chance to learn it and wished he did he keeps learning to make our man proud ;’)

Giorno has a really confident personality as a front but when he's outside of meetings and missions he's the most socially awkward person on earth

-Him and Fugo will both be sitting stiffly on the couch between missions and they fuckin bond over being able to command capos but not being able to ask Bruno where in the kitchen he put the cookies

-Him and Fugo create a master plan to try and find the cookies without asking anyone for them but end up giving up and creeping over to Narancia in defeat

-They're both awkwardly hovering behind him as Narancia walks into the kitchen and is like "YO WHERE THE COOKIES AT" and Bruno pulls open the one drawer they didn't look in

-Part of it stems from him being brought up with “if you want things or ask too much from people you are worthless” so he’s too scared to ask for basic things like where the extra blankets are or ordering food he actually wants at a restaurant

-Bruno and Giorno go out for lunch together after a meeting and Bruno has to go take a call and tells him to get the bill for him while he's gone and meet him outside and after like 20 minutes he ends the call and goes back in like ??? only to find him still sitting at the table

-Bruno's like "do you just want me to ask for it?" and he's like "uhhh yeah..."

-The waiter says some shit like “yeah I was wondering when you were gonna ask for it, this kid wouldn’t even look at me whenever I would walk by” and Giorno is absolutely visibly mortified and has an existential crisis on the way home because his “sit down and be quiet” mindset that he has to be contradicts the “don’t cause trouble for people” that he also has to be and now he’s questioning everything he’s ever done ;-;

-Bucci notices immediately and takes him for gelato and they have a really long conversation about it on the walk home and it ends with a really awkward hug :)

-Bucciarati’s gone out of his way after that instance to tell him that he just wants him to feel comfortable and he can talk to him about anything without judgement and it’s okay to be awkward and out of his element because he’s literally 15 and has the worst trust issues on the planet but Gio just ends up feeling guilty that he’s wasting everyone’s time with his “problems”

Bruno will hole himself up in his room and absolutely hates attention and contact when he’s sick while Abbacchio is the clingiest, whiniest thing that lives when he’s under the weather

Giorno longs for physical affection but he has no idea how it actually works

-He’s never really been hugged before and tries to suppress the fact that he just wants to trust people and be open about stuff and hug people but his mind always consciously rejects it

-When Giorno's sick or out of it he get weirdly clingy cause he's too out of it to control himself and the first time he got properly sick he half-consciously clung to Mista the entire day

-After that day, Mista slowly starts giving him all these spontaneous hugs and head pats and hand squeezes and Giorno gets all flustered about it because he is just drowning in serotonin :)

The first person in the gang Giorno cried in front of was Trish

-He was really emotionally drained from endless meetings and angry capos and everyone asking everything from him for the past week

-He also ran into some kid from his old neighbourhood who asked him why he hadn’t been “home” lately and it fucked him up for the rest of the week

-He just finished a shit ton of paperwork when he got a knock at the door and he was expecting another task or favour or complaint but instead Trish asks him if she can paint his nails and he just absolutely crumples

-He’s being pulled into her room before he can even notice and there’s a fluffy blanket wrapped around him and she lets him cry into her softest pillow

-She doesn’t ask about it but just lets him sit there with her and he ends up falling asleep on her bed :’)

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God Giorno and Trish being a nice lil platonic duo makes me so soft :)

Have you seen Bucci Gang headcanons part one? Go check it out if you haven't yet! <3

[blitzturtles]

Title: It Starts Like This, Ch. 6

Rating: Teen and Up

Fandom: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Vento Aureo

Pairing(s): BruAbba, FugoNara / NaraFugo (Could be platonic, honestly, tho the BruAbba definitely isn't.)

Summary: “What?” he snaps.

“I’m just thinking.”

A pause. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Notes: Turns out being dead has a bit of a long term effect. Who would have thought?

This fic got away from me, so I'm breaking it down by character interaction (sort of). Here's another Bucci-centric chapter for the Bucci-centric fic.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Additional Notes: Sometimes having two disabled folks in one relationship is... rough. Not at all based on real life experiences...

Content Warning: couple fighting and a panic attack.

Also, for unnecessary clarification: Moody doesn't zipper through anything. Abbacchio goes around barriers and resets her timer as needed. Oh, and I use she/her for Moody. I've got a fic planned for that eventually.

There's also a mild mention of a headcanon I have where Bucci is technically Narancia's guardian. For school and healthcare purposes. (Fugo emancipated post-disownment, and Giorno kind of flies under the radar.)

-

Bucciarati won’t admit it, but there’s something devastating about the first medication not working. Or not working well enough. They can’t be sure, but he’s not willing to continue on something that ultimately failed to curb such a traumatic experience for one of the people he cares for most. He can’t quite shake the guilt that’s been slowly wearing away at him for days.

It’s only the anxiety of having another seizure in front of his famiglia that has him permitting Abbacchio staying home once more. He can’t do that to Narancia again, and he knows that it won’t be any less stressful for the rest of them. It’s bad enough when Leone has to deal with the fallout, but he’s better prepared for it. He’s seen worse, and it’s part of what they both signed up for. For better or worse, in sickness and in health. They’ve done everything but scribbled their names on the paperwork to make it official, but Bruno thinks that, with everything else they’ve gone through, they’ve more than earned their right as one another’s life partner.

Still, that doesn’t mean that Bucciarati likes to be watched like a lab experiment. With eyes that are waiting for the slightest hint that something’s wrong. It makes him acutely aware of the fact that he could have another seizure at any given moment. That he might have one with no warning signs, or at least not any that he’d recognize as such.

That’s the problem with auras; he can’t seem to recognize them for what they are.

He’s being unreasonable, he knows. He hasn’t had enough seizures to know whether or not he’ll learn to recognize the warning signs, but it feels like it’s been an eternity already. And a thousand seizures, rather than a small handful. Part of that is due to how poorly he feels afterwards, and how off he feels on the medication. Part of it is how all of this has disrupted their lives in every way imaginable. And all of it has him in a sour mood.

“You’re upset,” Abbacchio starts with a frown. It’s the first time either of them has spoken all morning.

“I’m frustrated.”

Abbacchio hums in response. A quiet sound that wouldn’t normally grate Bucciarati’s nerves, but it gets under his skin and festers.

“What?” he snaps.

“I’m just thinking.”

A pause. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“You never want to talk about it,” Abbacchio answers, snappish and untrue. Even if it were, he knows why. Understands better than anyone else.

Bruno’s eyes widen slightly. A startled, wounded look evident in his blue irises, but his gaze hardens and he sneers,

“You’re right. I don’t.”

“Bruno, wait--”

But Bruno is already gone with nothing but a trace of gold left behind.

Damn that stand.

______

It’s a childish thing, to storm off, especially when Bucciarati knows that Leone’s only worried. That he hadn’t meant the words that came out of his mouth, and that he’s as scared as Bucciarati is. That this is all out of his depth, regardless of what they feel for one another or what promises they’ve made. It’s still terrifying the way it’s terrifying to watch Abbacchio cough up blood some mornings.

He regrets leaving the moment he stops moving. Stops tearing holes through walls and leaving Sticky Fingers to put them back together. It’s like someone punched the air out of him, and all he can do is sink to the ground, on his knees, with his head held in his hands and his mouth open, gasping for air.

Each breath comes too quick, and leaves before he feels like he gets any air. There’s something wrapped around his chest. Too tight, and somehow pulling tighter. It’s all he can do to lie down. Before the next inevitable comes. He already feels too light-headed with a lingering dizziness that makes it impossible to think through.

“Bruno,” the voice sounds familiar. Too much like his own echoing in his ears, but he’s not talking, much less calling his own name. His voice wouldn’t sound like that. Wouldn’t sound steady, if not worried, but, when he looks, there’s a mirror image of himself looking down at him. It falls to its knees, and a familiar sound rings out in the air as Moody’s timer runs out. She reaches for him as purple wraps around her frame once more.

“Bruno,” Leone repeats, this time in his own voice, from his own body. He all but collapses on his knees beside his stand and reaches out with careful hands to brush Bucciarati’s hair from his face.

Time freezes for a moment. Bucciarati expects consciousness to flee him without warning, but the air lingers. Stale and stiff and impossible to breathe, and all he can do is try and try to pull enough of it into his lungs to try to chase away the spots dancing across his vision.

Recognition flashes across Leone’s features. Where his hand has gone still in Bruno’s hair, it moves once more. A gentle carding. A distraction from the racing fears in Bucciarati’s head. He can’t calm his breathing no matter how hard he tries. It feels completely out of his control, and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Hey, are you listening to me?” Leone asks him seemingly out of the blue, but he knows that’s not right. That Leone must have been talking since his arrival, but Bruno can’t recall a word that’s been said.

“Yes,” he breathes, because he is now, and he meant to before. It’s just so hard to hear anything past the roaring in his ears.

“You need to calm down a little bit. Take some deep breaths,” Leone tells him, as if Bucciarati hasn’t been trying to do that since he stopped moving. There’s a sense of impending doom that lingers, pressing down on him until it’s crushing and unbearable.

“Hey,” Leone calls, tapping Bruno gently on the forehead, “You gotta focus on me, alright? Stop listening to whatever’s going on in that thick head of your’s, and listen to me. I need you to breathe in-- slower than that. Okay, good, hold-- now out. Annnd in--” They go through the steps several more times, until Bucciarati can successfully follow the counts more often than not. Finally-- finally he can breathe. Oxygen filters through his system, and his vision begins to clear. It’s only then that he starts to put the pieces together, and it’s shame that replaces the panic.

“I’m-”

“Don’t,” Leone cuts Bruno off before he can apologize. “I get it.” He moves to catch Bruno when he wobbles a bit too much upon trying to sit up. “Take it easy, will you?” He sighs and sits back.

“Sorry,” Bruno says, for lack of anything else to say.

“I’ll kick your ass if you apologize again.”

Bruno opens his mouth, and Leone quirks an eyebrow. It’s enough of a threat, empty as it may be, to convince Bruno to click his teeth together.

Leone huffs a sound that might be a laugh. Or it might be the last of his sanity slipping away. He scrubs his hands over his face and sighs. “I’m sorry. For what I said earlier. That was shitty. I’m just-”

“Scared?”

“Terrified.”

“That’s fair,” Bruno muses quietly. He absently wipes at his face, and it’s the first time he realizes that there are tears there. Streaking down both cheeks and plentiful in nature. He can’t remember the last time he had a panic attack. He’s better at running from his problems than he is dealing with them head on. At least the ones emotional in nature. The rest he’s always tackled with little more than a hope and a prayer to a deity he’s long lost faith in. “I’m sorry, too.”

“I told you to stop apologizing.”

“When have I ever listened to you?” Bruno snarks back, shoulders relaxing slightly.

Leone snorts, “Not a day in your life.” Bruno has the scars to prove it, too. Bastard. “C’mon. Let’s get off the floor. I’m getting too old for this.”

It’s Bruno’s turn to laugh this time, “You’re barely in your twenties.”

“And I’m too goddamn old. Up,” Leone pushes himself to his feet before reaching his hands out to pull Bruno upright. There’s a pause where the two are lost, staring at one another, and Leone decides ‘fuck it’. What better time to go for a kiss then after your partner has a full on panic attack? They’ve done worse with far more questionable timing.

Bruno responds to the kiss with a pleased little sound in the back of his throat. He tugs Leone closer, wanting the contact more than anything. He can feel Leone’s hands cradling the back of his head, fingers linking together at his nape.

“Gross! Get a room!”

Leone curses as they break apart and shoots Narancia the meanest look he can, “I will murder you.”

“Only if you catch me!” And the kid is off before Leone can even respond.

Bucciarati can’t help laughing at the whole display. He grabs for Leone’s hand before his partner can seriously consider killing Narancia. “May I remind you that I’m legally responsible for him?”

“They won’t find the body.”

“Leone!”

[knifefather]

In the words of Open Mike Eagle, “This is what I need to do. I know I need to do something to feel better. This is it.” So I did! I wanted to write some headcanons about weed and also something cute, so this happened! I give to you: Smoking weed with each member of the Bucci Gang for the first time. This is all platonic. Under the cut for length!

Content warning: Use of marijuana. That’s it. That’s the post. Enjoy!

Bruno

🍃 The Capo is probably the best one to smoke with for the first time. He’s very careful about making sure that you have a good experience! Bruno would more than likely invite you somewhere private for you guys to smoke together, like his home. He’s the type of person that would explain to you about what marijuana does to your body while you’re smoking. It’s really interesting and makes for a good conversation point.

🍃 Bruno would pack you guys a bowl in a pipe! That way you can’t take too large of a hit. Getting too high the first time is definitely a mood killer. He definitely doesn’t want the experience to be ruined for you because you smoked too much. 

🍃 After you take a few puffs and your eyes start to get a little red, he checks in with you. “How are you feeling?” he asks. You look back at him and his eyes are also red. You had never seen Bruno like that before, and that combined with the substance makes you giggle uncontrollably. He ends up chuckling a bit too, a lot more than he normally does. You like the sound of his laugh. “I’m taking that means you’re doing well?” You just nod and reach for the bowl again. 

🍃 After you’re feeling chill enough, the two of you can hang out alone or Bruno would invite the rest of the gang over. You might just hang out in his living room, or he would suggest taking a walk to the park close by. If that’s the case, he is the one that leads you out and around so you can be stoned and not worry about anything. 

🍃 He also brings water because he knows you’ll get cottonmouth! What an angel, really. 

Mista

🍃 Smoking weed for the first time with Mista is an adventure, that’s for sure. Mista is a stoner, so when you told him you’ve never smoked before he is all over it! “Dude, we have to smoke together! Some see me after the meeting at Libeccio,” he tells you, clamping you on the shoulder before walking off. 

🍃 After the meeting is over and the group begins to disband, he approaches you and gives you a funny look. Definitely not suspicious or anything lmao. “You wanna step out back?” he asks, still giving you that strange look. You aren’t sure what to say, so you just nod and go with him. When the gang sees you two leaving together, it really looks like you guys are gonna fuck. They start giggling and gossiping until Bruno breaks it up, but even he is curious about what you two are up to.

🍃 Mista takes you to the side alley next to the restaurant and gets on one knee. “I knew that that meeting was gonna be boring as hell so I brought something to make it worth it,” he says, grinning before pulling something out of his sock. He straightens himself  out and you get a closer look at it. It’s what you think is a cigarette. He sees your confusion before giving you a toothy grin. “This is a joint,” he proclaims. “We’re gonna smoke it.”

🍃 And smoke it you do. You and Mista face the entire joint behind the restaurant and you get mega stoned. The gunslinger has to usher you out of the alley and walk you home because you’re high as fuck. “I don’t want to be alone.. Can you stay?” you ask him after plopping on the couch, almost too stoned to move. He agrees quickly and flops down next to you. 

🍃 After a few minutes, yall begin to get the munchies... So you eat whatever you have at your place before deciding to order a pizza. The two of you just watch a movie and hang out for the rest of the evening!

Giorno

🍃 Doesn’t smoke weed, but he isn’t a jerk about it. He doesn’t have a problem with people who do but it’s really not his thing. He doesn’t like the way it makes him feel, or the way it smells and tastes. 

🍃 Just doesn’t like any kind of drug. He seldom even has more than a few glasses of wine. Being intoxicated is not really for Giorno. 

🍃 However, if you wanted to smoke weed around him, he would be supportive and watch over you. He’d make sure you weren’t going to get yourself hurt and that you’re feeling okay while you’re high. 

🍃 Even though he sucks at driving, he would offer to drive you anywhere you need because he doesn’t want you to get hurt. He would even go get you food if you started getting the munchies really bad! Giorno thinks that you’re hilarious when you stoned and has a blast hanging out with you every time.

Abbacchio

🍃 Abbacchio doesn’t really tell anyone that he smokes pot. The only way you found out was because you had to swing by his apartment to get some paperwork from him. You knock on the door and received no answer. You’re growing worried, so you try again, only to hear nothing. Curious, you round the corner of the apartment building and see that his window is open and smoke is drifting out. 

🍃 After a minute of making you wait, Abbacchio comes to the door. He hands you the paperwork, and you get a good look at his face. His eyes are red as hell and they look smaller than usual. Not to mention that he smells of it. But he totally tries to play it off like he wasn’t just smoking. 

🍃 “Um... Is that weed that you were smoking?” you ask. He’s immediately defensive, brushing you off. But you call him out and nail him. “I know it was bud. Do you maybe... wanna share? I-I’ve never had it before--” you start to say before he cuts you off. 

🍃 “I’ll let you hit the blunt if you promise to go home after that.” You accept his conditions and go inside. 

🍃 He hands you a marijuana cigarette, this time wrapped in brown paper. “It’s a blunt. It’s made out of cigarillo paper. The paper has tobacco in it, so be careful when taking a hit...” he advises, handing you the lighter. You did you best to hit it, and, like Abbacchio expected, you cough your fucking lungs out because of the paper. He claps you on the back a few times before continuing. After you have finished the blunt, you’re dummy stoned. 

🍃 “I know I said I’d go home, but do you think--” Abbacchio interrupts you again. “Yes, you can stay. Just don’t eat everything in my fridge.” You do anyway. 

Narancia

🍃 Oh boy. Oh fucking boy. Narancia literally does everything you SHOULDN’T do with someone who is smoking weed for the first time. 

🍃 You guys are hanging out and he brings out his bong and starts packing a bowl, no big deal. You’re sweating because you have no idea what that big glass thing is. Narancia is under the impression that you’re a stoner like him even though he’s never smoked with you? You don’t understand it either.

🍃 He takes a huge hit and then hands you the bong, and you awkwardly take it in your hands. You’ve watched how Narancia hit it, but you’re not sure if you can do it like him. Narancia can see your uncertainty. “You can hit it. That’s why I passed it to you,” he said, smiling. 

🍃 “I don’t... I’ve never...” you stammer, looking helplessly at him. Narancia put the pieces together, his eyes going wide. “Oh shit! You don’t smoke?” You shake your head in response. “Well damn. Here, lemme show you how.” Narancia’s “demonstration” may or may not have served a double purpose for him to take another hit, but whatever.

🍃 He instructs you on how to use the bong. Fill the bowl, light it, inhale from the top tube, take the bowl out when the chamber fills with too much smoke. You think that it’s simple enough, so you go to try... and cough. You cough, sputtering on the bong, all of the smoke entering your lungs leaving you a whoosh. Your face turns red and Narancia paps you on the back, letting you a have a few sips of his Diet Coke. That was the first and last hit that you took, and it made you high as a motherfucker. 

🍃 You crash at Narancia’s and play video games with him all night, the two of you laughing at the game and making a ton of new inside jokes together. You still quote the inside jokes to this day, and none of the guys understand what the fuck you’re talking about. 

🍃 He does end up turning on a really loud, violent movie that scares the shit out of you, though. He turns it off and does his best to help you calm down, apologizing profusely. After a few minutes, you feel better, but it crashed your high. You’re okay with that, and just curl up next to him while he continues to play games. You’ve had enough for the night. 

Fugo

🍃 Also doesn’t smoke at all. Though, he’s lame, and he’ll probably try to discourage you from it. He’ll hit you with a ton of false facts about what weed does to your body and how it is actually the worst thing in the world for you.  

🍃 Narancia and Mista would usually step in and telling him he’s being a fucking tool. If they start arguing, Bruno breaks it up. He doesn’t take a side, but he admittedly is biased because he smokes weed too.

🍃 Not much to say on Mr. Party Pooper over here. 

Trish

🍃 Lmao. This girl is a stoner as hell. She doesn’t smoke flower very often, but she always has her weed vape pen on her. 

🍃 This bitch will just hit her pen in the middle of a store. On the train. On the sidewalk. In a church. Wherever the hell. Bruno gets on to her about it sometimes, but she always brushes him off and just does her thing. 

🍃 You smoke with her for the first time while you guys are out shopping. The two of you have a few bags in tow and are on your way to the next store in the mall. Trish whips her pen out from her purse and, you guessed it, hits it right in the middle of the mall. You’re absolutely baffled and not sure why anyone hasn’t noticed or called her out. 

🍃 Oblivious, she turns to you and points the pen at you. “You want to hit it? I can see you staring at me,” she says plainly. You’re kinda shocked at how forward she is about it, but you take the pen from her. You try to get her to move away to a less populated part in the mall, but she has to go to the candle store. So you hit it and watch a bubble form in the golden liquid.

🍃 It’s one of those good ass carts, and you get stoned from just one rip. It’s actually really fun walking around with her while you’re high! You guys enjoy the rest of your shopping trip no problem, and Bruno comes to pick you guys up after you guys are finished! He knows you two are stoned, but he doesn’t say anything. Thanks Bru. 

[phantomato]

Uber

Nottmort (Tom Riddle/Nott Sr.), Modern Muggle AU, ~2k words

Thanks to @yletylyf for kicking around this idea! Tom drives an Uber in the Bay Area. Thoros & co need a ride.

—

Abraxas and Orion are bickering over luggage in the background when your Uber pulls up. Black, of course, so it’s a Mercedes that will smell a little too much like leather cleaner when you get in, but none of you have ever ridden in an UberX or, god forbid, an Uber Pool, and you’re not about to start.

Your colleagues—never forget, you are not friends, no matter how much time you spend with them—slide into the back seat before you can even begin to help load bags into the trunk. You’re left alone with the driver, and though he offers to help, you haven’t let yourself sink that low as to make this man pile all of your shit in his car while you sit around and watch. And anyway, it feels like the polite thing to do. More than Abraxas or Orion, you’ve been raised to be polite.

So you fold yourself into the front passenger seat, too kind to push the seat all the way back and give yourself the leg room you need even if Orion, behind you, is just 5’8 to your 6’3, and smile at the driver as he confirms your destination.

He’s pretty. You’ve been in a lot of Ubers and you’ve never seen a driver this pretty. Is that classist?, you wonder to yourself, remembering something you read in Vox the other day. Probably. Nevertheless, you’re taken by the curve of his mouth, the sweep of his dark hair, and you throw a smirk over your shoulder at Abraxas who you know must have also noticed.

“Traffic to SFO will be busy,” he says regretfully, and you roll your eyes. Orion refuses to take the early morning flights, unwilling to wake at 3 AM, and you’re always stuck with these long, miserable Uber rides down from the city to the airport. “And Terminal 2—right in the middle of it. There’s construction around those doors, if you haven’t been there—”

“We know,” Orion butts in rudely, shutting up your driver for the few minutes it takes to get out of your neighborhood.

You use those few minutes to swipe through your phone. Email—nothing important. Messages—you clear the notifications. Your Instagram is alight with people reposting the same infographic about voting rights and you make a mental note to kick some money to that non-profit that’s been all over Twitter lately. You close out apps and end up back at Uber, watching your car’s laggy progress through the San Francisco streets. Your driver’s name is Tom, the app informs you. It’s a nice name.

You clear the side streets and Tom offers amenities. “If you want any water, there are bottles in the cooler between the seats,” he calls back to Abraxas and Orion, “and mints in the cup holder. You can adjust the air conditioning if you like, and there’s a charging cable attached to the back of my seat if you need it. Would you like to choose any music?”

“No,” Abraxas says, and whether he means the music or the entire spiel doesn’t really matter, given his withering tone. You look back at him, trying to convey ‘Be nice’ with just your eyebrows, but Abraxas is fussing with his hair and ignoring you.

Tom’s one of the chipper ones, it turns out, because he takes the rejection in stride and shifts to the dreaded personal conversation. “What do you all do for a living?”

“Ah, we invest in companies, mostly start-ups,” you say, trying to avoid—

“Venture capitalists!” Tom guesses, and he’s right but you hate the term and its connotations. So what if you are all white men whose family money has bankrolled tech speculation? It’s what anyone with half a brain would do. You donate, you read the liberal news—at least, you think that’s true for all of you, though Orion was friends with that Republican mayoral candidate and Abraxas’ father sponsors that conservative think-tank and…

Ah, fuck. “Yeah, pretty much,” you agree, hating yourself.

Behind you, Orion digs his AirPods out of his pocket. You hear the snap of the magnetic lid as he closes himself off to the world. Abraxas is slouching, the hem of his third-favorite cashmere cardigan catching on the seat behind him, and you realize that you’re alone in this conversation.

Well, fuck it. If those two pricks are going to make you call the Uber, deal with the reimbursement paperwork, and sit in the front seat, you’re going to talk to the driver and make this car conversation as painful as possible for them.

As if reading your thoughts, Tom does the one thing that guarantees a terrible ride: he pitches his app idea.

“You know, I’m also a software developer,” he says, which is at least more promising than when someone isn’t, “and if I had the kind of funding that companies like yours provide, I would absolutely make this app.” He proceeds to describe something completely inane, the type of exclusive, niche social networking app that hasn’t had legs since before the Trump presidency and you would be content to let him drone on, to let Abraxas keep melting into his own seat and to let Orion channel his anger through a knee driven into the back of yours, but—

But for all that Tom’s idea is stupid, he has the energy of the best pitches you see. His energy is infectious. His eyes light up, he gestures with one hand, and when he stops to take a drink (one of those water bottles with a built-in straw, which you associate with joggers and your lamest employees but which does very different things to you when it’s Tom’s mouth wrapped around the top) you’re transfixed by the wet sheen over his chapped lips.

And so, yes, maybe it’s mostly lust, and maybe this is a sign that you need to download Grindr again, even if only to jerk off to the dick pics you’ll get, but you start to actually talk to him.

“There’s no future in niche social networks,” you say, halting Tom in his tracks. “There will always be new ones, don’t misunderstand me, but the broader landscape is saturated by the top names, and they’ll buy out their competitors if they need to. Perhaps you can topple Tumblr, but that’s not a path to profit. If you want to impact the social market, you need to pinpoint the novel interaction model that you want to offer and make yourself buyable.”

“Buyable,” Tom repeats, like he’s never been interrupted before. He probably hasn’t. The first rule of Ubering around the Bay Area or the Valley is to never engage the app pitches, and Orion has started kicking your seat for your transgression.

“Yes,” you enunciate. “You want to be bought out and brought in at a high level. The giant that eats you may or may not use your idea, but you’ll make a comfortable sum as a consolation prize.” You’ve helped companies through this before. You’re flying out to New York this week in part because one of your investments is considering purchase offers and you want to strategize in-person. The founder is dallying, sending emails about independence and integrity, and Orion will bully him into selling while you and Abraxas negotiate the best terms for the contract.

You can feel Tom’s eyes on you. Abraxas might be calling “Thoros…” from the back seat, and Orion might be attempting to annihilate you with his gaze alone, but you’re smiling at that handsome face behind the wheel and hoping for an accident on the 101.

Unfortunately, you make it through San Bruno without running into more than the usual level of traffic, and Tom’s pulling up to your terminal much sooner than you would like. Abraxas and Orion jump out of the car with uncharacteristic speed when it stops, Orion even moving to stand by the trunk in readiness to take his bags. You delay.

“Do you have a business card?” you ask, when it’s clear Tom’s waiting on you.

He fumbles to pull a wallet from his jeans. You can’t quite get a view of his ass as he does, but that doesn’t stop you from looking.

His card is bent at the corner, printed cheaply, and probably from his last job. You’re pretty sure that company doesn’t exist anymore. Tom taps the phone number. “I can be reached here,” he says smoothly, but his professionalism cracks when he adds, “by call or by… text.”

You know what sort of texts you’d like to receive from him.

Pulling out your own card case, you hand him your card. “Text me,” you say, your voice just this side of appropriate, “any time.”

Tom visibly swallows and jumps out of the car. You take your time getting up, and if your cashmere sweater—Margaret Howell, not that Elder Statesman piece of shit Abraxas is wearing—ends up in the footwell of Tom’s passenger seat, well, you’ll be back in SF next week, won’t you?

“Thanks for the ride, Tom,” you tell him as you take the handle of your luggage, letting your fingers brush his. “I enjoyed our conversation.”

“Yeah,” he nods, and you don’t care that Abraxas is snorting behind you, he’s been judging you this whole trip and he lost out on a hot guy’s number as a result. “It was…”

“Thoros,” you interrupt him before he can ramble and psych himself out. “My name is Thoros, and I really would like to hear from you.”

Tom looks at you then, and you see him pull together the same sureness that drew you into his initial pitch. “I’ll text you about the app.”

“I’m looking forward to it,” you say, meaning it.

—

Bonus:

“You know,” Abraxas drawls as you sit in the United club lounge, gesturing lazily with his overpriced airport Fiji water, “if you tip him too much it’s like you’re paying him for sex.”

Orion looks up from his phone then, removing one earbud for the first time since he put them in. “I’ve paid more for sex with less attractive men.”

“Welcome back,” you say, “I didn’t realize you had paid any attention.”

“Someone would need to not have eyes in order to miss how hot that Uber driver was,” he bites back, returning to his phone.

“Well, I’m tipping him extra anyway,” you announce, confirming Tom’s five-star rating. Should you write a review? Is that too much?

Abraxas, with a grumble, declares, “I’m telling Alecto not to approve this expense.”

—

Bonus bonus:

Your phone buzzes at the end of dinner, the celebratory affair to close the sale which someone had insisted must be at Lilia, even though Abraxas doesn’t eat carbs and you would have preferred to grab a slice at Scarr’s rather than haul out to Williamsburg, anyway.

It’s Tom. Of course it’s Tom—you’ve been texting all week, and between a few late-night flirtations and one very bald statement of interest, you’ve got a date set for when you’re back home. You’re going to Mensho Tokyo, since he lives in the Tenderloin and you live… vaguely around the Tenderloin, at least, you tell people you live there when you want to seem cooler, and Tom is the type of guy that makes you excited to stand in line for hours to get seats. You’re already thinking about whether you might put your arm around him while you’re waiting, and you unlock your phone to see what he’s saying now.

It’s a picture message.

A picture of Tom, wearing your Howell sweater and no pants and oh god oh fuck—

“Was that Uber driver’s dick?” Abraxas whispers, next to you, and you curse your luck. “Remind me to call the next Uber, Jesus Christ.”

[redbeanboi]

hello juno!! i hope youre having a good day! may i request mista and his s/o both wanting to have kid(s) and how their dynamic goes as spouses and then as parents if thats ok?

hello my unnamed friend! I’m having a pretty okay day. hope you’re doing well in these trying times! your wish is my command—

Mista and S/O as spouses… and parents!!

Mista leans really far into that Italian stereotype of family being very important. It may not be on the forefront of his mind 24/7 but he does want a family—spouse, kids, the whole shebang!

He’s very aware of the fact that his line of work is very dangerous, so he doesn’t even think about bringing it up until he’s sure that you want the same thing. It’d be unfair for him to ask so much of you when he’s not entirely sure of what might happen to him in the future. But once he knows that you want kids too, he’ll be ready. Mista isn’t the kind to half-ass anything, so expect him to be 100% on board, all hands on deck when the time has come.

Now this is going to sound weird, but I think Mista would be traditional in the sense that he’d want to be married to you before having children. He wants a pretty moderately sized wedding, with about 100 of your closest friends and family attending. Mista, being a big believer of fate, is probably somewhat religious and would want to have a religious ceremony. 

Also! Considering his position in one of the most powerful criminal organizations, Mista is pretty loaded. He spends a lot on his regular getup, so you can bet that he’ll get himself a really nice tux for the event. Will gladly set aside a lot of his money for the wedding’s budget. If you want to wear a designer tux? He’s got you? Want to wear a beautiful wedding gown? You’ve got it babe—Mista wants you to feel like royalty on your special day. He’s so happy you want to get married and start a family so he’s ready to spend it all on you. Just make sure he doesn’t get too carried away.

The food is also important. Expect him to get a menu all set for the reception. Four courses, baby!! The Italian way. Got your antipasti, primi, secondi, and dolce. Mista loves food and he has good taste. Leave it to him and the Sex Pistols.

And yes. You decide to adopt the whole cake cutting/feeding custom from the Americans… and you will most definitely be feeding cake to Mista as well as the Sex Pistols. Just go with it. hehe

Smashing a vase is a really big custom (according to tradition, however many pieces the glassware breaks into will symbolize how many years the couple will be happily married), and Mista’s really superstitious, so he insists that you both follow that custom and do it at some point during the ceremony. Vase breaks and—would you look at that!!

Giorno and Bruno count about 98 pieces total. Mista’s smiling ear to ear.

Anyway let’s skip the honeymoon and get straight to married life!!

Mista doesn’t know how to cook, but he wants to learn so he can help you. At the very least, he’ll brush up on knife skills so he can chop the vegetables for you. Always insists that you make enough for about 3 people because his stand needs to eat. 

Maybe it’s all those years of living on his own and having a job that sends him home every night with some kind of bruise or wound (or just straight up blood from someone he had to pummel), but Mista’s very very good at doing his laundry. Knows how to get just about any kind of stain out, and is very particular about how his (very expensive) clothes are cleaned. 

if you’re working full-time, he’ll make sure to split the chores with you so you can have time to relax. Usually likes vacuuming and dusting surfaces. Is very good at keeping things pretty organized.

If you’re staying at home (which you are totally welcome to do, because he has enough money to support you both), he will still insist on taking some of the chores off of your list so you can relax !! He wants you to feel pampered and everything.

He loves climbing into bed every night and cuddles with you before passing out. God he’s a cuddler. Expect to be held all throughout the night, especially because Mista is just so in love with you, and married life is just the best! He’s happy to be with someone like you.

You usually give in to Mista’s tenderheartedness, and have breakfast ready for him every morning before he goes to work. Mista likes to get his beauty sleep though and wakes up late, so you always have a pastry and some espresso ready for him. He’ll cram it down his throat and wash it down with a double shot of espresso before giving you a kiss and running off to work.

It’s like this in your apartment for several months until !! Mista proposes that you guys get a nice apartment closer to Giorno’s place (mostly because he wants to laze around in bed a little longer for…. you know what). And he thinks it’s time he got you a place fit for royalty! So you both settle on this really nice apartment in the Chiaia district, close to the Piazza Amedeo station. The location’s perfect because it’s cut his commute by like ten minutes and now he can spend his mornings with you. 

so several months after you’re moved in…. you finally pop the question. And Mista doesn’t say much because he’s absolutely floored. He’s been wanting this for so long! And he asks you questions. Are you sure about this? Do you think he’ll be a good dad? Will the kids like him? What if they hate him!

And once you and Mista have talked about it plenty, you finally decide to have children.

If you’re adopting, then you have to go through a lot of pesky paperwork because there’s surprisingly a lot of laws in regard to adoption in Italy. You’ll obviously get approved though, because you’re decent people. And if there’s something off in your records that’s holding things off a little bit, then well. Let’s just say that Mista’s boss is able to pull a string or two **wink wink**

If you’re having your own kids or if you want to carry the kids yourself then Mista, being the pervert that I suspect he is, will be enthusiastic about doing his part.

Oh he’s dedicated. Every day of the goddamn week until that test comes out positive.

Pregnancy (if you go this route) goes just fine and Mista is determined to be there every step of the way. He makes sure to tell Giorno that family is important and he wants to be there for his spouse at every doctor’s appointment and will need a more flexible schedule, and Giorno being the way that he is, is actually fine with this (might have something to do with him wanting a family of his own, but who knows?).

The baby is born !! Ahh!! Mista thinks names are important so you’ll spend a lot of time picking names

Honestly anything goes here, so whichever name you pick for your baby, is what we’re going with for now (I might pick one if someone wants a Papa!Mista fic eventually, but yeah)!

Mista is a great dad!! He’s always been a great caretaker for the pistols, but as a parent he goes above and beyond. He was born to do this.

Very flexible, go-with-the-flow; always able to make any adjustments for unexpected changes and such in the schedule or just life in general. He’s spontaneous, which your children will absolutely love, and he’s very big on communication. Sometimes wavers between blunt and tactful, but he always gets his message across to his kids clear as day, and makes sure they know what he expects of them so that no one gets hurt and that they’re all on the same page!

He really encourages his kids to be independent and take risks (though he’s not the greatest role model considering all the scraps he gets into) and overall gets a kick out of seeing his kids grow up. He’s a proud papa.

As the other parent, you’re the one picking up where Guido isn’t so strong, which is setting a healthy routine (important for kids!! don’t underestimate its value in a child’s life!!!), making sure they get their homework done and getting everyone together at the end of the day for dinner and also scheduling your family outings. 

Mista is the dad who likes to get his kids gifts on random occasions (and “just ‘cuz”) and taking his kids on adventures they’ll never forget (like going to the gelateria on the way home from school).

Mista is the dad who loves to roughhouse his kids. Expect pieces of furniture and small antiques to be broken as a result of a game of tag, wrestling, or just a plain old tickle-fight. If it’s something important, like a really old vase that was handed down in your family, Mista will bravely accept the punishment of being chewed out by you in rapid-fire Italian while the kids find a hiding spot. 

Mista loves sitting with the kids in their room at night when you’re reading a story to them. Sometimes he’ll fall asleep too. If he does, just shove him and tell him to get up so you can both sleep in your bed.

Sometimes he’ll ask you to sing them a lullaby and pester you with them if it means he can hear you sing. Moments like these make him realize how lucky he was to not only make it out of Giorno’s adventure alive, but also be able to meet you and fall in love and have a family with you.

—–

A/N: Ah !! This took me a while, I’m so sorry! But thank you for sending this in. I love Mista so so much and he’d be such a good boyfriend, an even better husband, and an amazing papa. Someone offer themselves up to give Guido a big and happy Italian family PRONTO. Thank you for sending this request in !! AHH. Mista!! Sweet sweet boy.

also i’m sorry i got pretty carried away. If you want to see more on the honeymoon/pregnancy stages, let me know !! I wanted to skip those and get to the important parts of the request. :) xx

[wri0thesley]

Hello, I’m glad you’re accepting requests again! Could you write something with the Abba/Bruno/reader power trio? Maybe Bruno has been working even harder than normal, and Reader/Abbacchio are getting worried so one night they drag Bruno out of the office and into bed. Either SFW or NSFW, whichever you prefer 😘. Thanks for all your hard work!

The alarm clock softly glowing on the bedside table informs you that it has just passed three in the morning. Your boyfriend's arm slung over your middle and the slow, measured way that the covers rise and fall over his chest mix in with this fact to reassure you that it is, indeed, the middle of the night. Everything is perfect. The night is quiet.

No, wait, scratch that.

The night should not be quiet. It's all very well that Leone Abbacchio is in bed beside you, sleeping peacefully (you're grateful for that; it had taken a long time for him to be in a place where nightmares didn't plague him and he was able to sleep at normal times). But your nights are never quiet. If you wake up and the air is still, somebody is missing.

And - yes. There's nobody on the other side of you. There's nobody on the other side of Leone either. You reach over and shake at his shoulders, trying to rouse him gently.

"Leone?" You murmur, and Abbacchio grumbles and groans, but his violet eyes slowly open to look up at you. In sleep, his features are softened - without the lipstick and the eyebrows, he looks almost tender. Of course, part of the reason he looks so tender right now is because a smile is slowly spreading across his face as he looks up at you, the huge sap. Oh, if the rest of his boys could see him now--

"Amore?" He murmurs, his voice disgustingly low and soft and making a creeping glow start in your chest. You're aware that a just as sappy smile is about to descend over your own face, and you have to shake your head to disperse it before you get distracted.

"Bruno's not in bed yet," you say.

Abbacchio heaves a long-suffering sigh. It's not the first time this has happened.

"What time is it?" He asks, although he's already sweeping the covers from his body. You feel a warm glow that Abbacchio has had the same thoughts you have, and you roll off your own side of the bed, feet scuffing on the floor looking for the fluffy black slippers that Abbacchio had bought you over the winter season because he was sick of you complaining that the floorboards - "Which are very modern and very chic, bella!" - were cold on your bare feet.

"Three," you say, and then clarify. "In the morning. He promised he'd be in bed before midnight."

Abbacchio shakes his head grimly.

"Ah," he says, "we should both have learnt by now that Bruno only keeps promises when they are about other people."

"I woke up and I couldn't hear him snoring," you explain, as the two of you pad quietly out of the bedroom, trying to make sure the door doesn't squeak in that way it is predisposed to do. If you two can get the element of surprise on Bruno, you might actually be able to tackle him and drag him into bed before he can fight back.

Abbacchio snorts.

"Only you and I would find it difficult to sleep without Bruno's honking," he says, and you laugh. When you'd started dating, Abbacchio would have never spoken about his capo like that. Abbacchio looked at Bruno like a God or a symbol, and not as a person - you've been careful to point out Bruno's flaws in gentle, laughing ways. And though at first Abbacchio had looked from you to Bruno with his face creased in worry, as if Bruno would toss him away at the first sign of no longer worshiping him, Bruno had laughed too.

The snores had been easy to make fun of. Bruno's penchant for adding gaudy golden zippers to all of his clothing had come next. The fact that he hates apples. The way he hid chocolate in a shoebox beneath your bed - you'd eventually figured out that was because Narancia would regularly raid the fridge, and he wanted to make sure he had some left for himself.

Slowly but surely, all of you had begun to see one another as human, for all your quirks and foibles. And it is good now. Better.

You know it's better, because the Abbacchio of a few years ago would have refused to disturb Bruno whilst he was working, whether it was three in the morning or not.

You have reached the office door, so you raise a finger to your lips. The door is open a crack, and you can see some low, warm light spilling out of it - either Bruno is still working, or he has left a lamp on. You strain your ears to see if you can hear the scratch of pen on paper or the click of Bruno's keyboard if he's using the computer (Bruno hasn't adjusted well to technology; that one would probably be more obvious. He strikes the keys as if he is afraid that if he doesn't hit them hard enough, the letters won't show up), but nothing can be heard.

"And you two are hiding behind the door because . . .?" Comes a voice, and you jump as you turn guiltily around. Bruno's top half is coming through the wall, surrounded by a golden zipper. He doesn't look angry - mainly, he looks amused.

"We were coming to tell you to come to bed," you say, taking the lead, because Abbacchio has turned too but has gone soft in a way that only a half-asleep Leone Abbacchio looking at one of the two people he loves most in the world can. You put your hands on your hips. "You're working too hard!"

"Couldn't you have shouted?" He asks, smiling, stepping out of the zipper and neatly rejoining the two halves of the wall. Good. Sometimes when he's really asleep, he forgets to do that, and your house looks like someone has gone mad with a sewing needle. "I was worried you were intruders. Yes, of course, I'm sorry - I got caught up in my paperwork. I'll be in bed in a moment."

You narrow your eyes at him. He's being far too reasonable.

"When was the last time you slept at a normal hour?" You ask him, words accusatory. This morning (yesterday morning?), he hadn't been beside you, but you'd had a long mission the day before and didn't wake up until past eleven. "Leone, did he come to bed last night?"

Abbacchio looks from you to Bruno, and his silence speaks more than any words could. Your face falls.

"Bruno!" You say, and this close you can see the lines of worry etched in his face. The bags beneath his eyes. The fact that his skin looks more sallow than usual, and even a little . . . dry? Things must be bad if Bruno has let his skincare routine slip.

"It's nothing," he says, waving away your concerns. "This last mission has left me with a lot of paperwork, that's all . . ."

"It's not nothing," you say, crossing your arms. "Bruno, you are killing yourself!"

"That's a bit of an overexaggeration, bella--"

"No! It's not!" Your voice rises in pitch. Abbacchio, looking alarmed, wraps an arm around you, but you shake it away. "Don't you calm me down! You covered for him!"

"I . . . Yes." Abbacchio hangs his head, looking shame-faced. "I shouldn't have. I'm sorry."

"Bruno," you say, your voice verging on desperate. "I know you want to help people. I know that the work is important to you. I know that you hate me fussing over you, and you think you can do it all on your own, and you don't want to share the burden! But you have to! Do you know how frightening it is to wake up and not see someone who's supposed to be there?" Your voice breaks a little, and you feel traitorous tears pricking at the corners of your eyes. "Every time, I think maybe . . . maybe you'll never be there again--"

Bruno murmurs your name softly, reaching out, his fingers sliding under your chin to tip your face up to his.

"I didn't realise it was that important to you," he says, finally, as he looks at your tear-stained face. You swallow a sob, ready to reply to him - but to your surprise, it's Abbacchio who opens his mouth.

"I never thought we'd get this far," Abbacchio says, his voice soft. "It's . . . no, it's frightening when you're not there. Sleeping in the same bed . . . it feels like a slice of domestic bliss that I never thought I'd get. And I know that it's unreasonable for you to always be there, but . . . that doesn't mean that it's not nice when you are."

"I don't want to lose you to your work," you say, your throat scratching, as you look at Bruno. "Neither of us do."

Bruno's face draws into a frown. He looks back at his desk, and sighs.

"I . . . I know," he admits, as if he's pulling the words from the recesses of his heart. You can sense from the uneasiness on his face he does not want to be admitting to this. "I just . . . You love me because you think I'm good. If I stop working, for just a moment, and someone dies because of me - then perhaps I am not good, and perhaps you two will . . . will stop," his voice breaks, and before you can think better of it, you move forward and wrap your arms around him. You're evidently not the only one with this idea, because you feel Abbacchio's arms wrap around both of you at once.

"You can't put the weight of the world on your shoulders alone," you whisper, into Bruno's chest. "We're here to help you."

"I can't ask you to do that--"

"We want to," Abbacchio says, his voice final, despite the fact that you can see his arm is shaking. "God. If you shared with us, we'd be happy. We want to help! Fuck, I'll even do what Giovanna tells me to do, if it means you let yourself have a break--"

Bruno's voice is teasing.

"Leone Abbacchio, following Giorno's orders? You must really love me."

"Yeah," Abbacchio's voice doesn't crack. "I do. I love you." He looks at you, nestled against Bruno's chest. "Both of you. So damn much it makes my heart hurt."

"Will you come to bed?" You ask, breaking away from Bruno.

Your raven-haired boyfriend meets your gaze, and smiles, slowly.

"Alright," he says. "Seeing as Leone has promised to never be condescending towards our glorious Don again and to follow all of his orders to the letter from now on--"

"That's not what I fucking said," Abbacchio grumbles, but he pulls away nonetheless, turning back towards the bedroom.

"That's what I heard," Bruno says innocently, and Abbacchio says something very low in his throat that, a few years ago, he would never have dared to even think.

"You deserve a good night's sleep," you murmur softly to Bruno, as you tug off his suit jacket to hang on the hook at the bottom of the stairs. "Even if it means nobody else gets one."

Bruno raises one eyebrow, but his good-natured smile doesn't fade.

"Is that a jibe about my snoring, amore?"

You shrug.

"Maybe."

When you wake up, a few hours later, both of your boys are resting their heads on your chest. Bruno's snores vibrate your body with every deep intake of breath.

You feel safe, and happy and calm. You go back to sleep.

[jojosthetic-boogaloo]

Hello, you seem new so welcome ❤! May I request a matchup it you're not too busy?ddjffj I'm 1,65 m (5'4) bi portuguese girl, I'm fairly pale and have chin length curly brown hair. I also wear glasses! I suffer from chronic anxiety (diagnosed) and I'm extremely shy and I have rather strong trust issues due to past experiences,, although when I get closer to someone I'm a huge idiot that laughs at everything. My friends describe as hard to read, saying I almost always have the same neutral face(1)

Hello hun!! I am indeed new, been grinding here since like maybe last night! (´;ω;｀) Thank you for the warm welcome! And, I love you too! Don’t need to thank me, you’re all so sweet dammit aaa

Now that I am done with my love spasm, here’s your matchup!

(Like the previous matchup anon, you didn’t add an M or mentioned a moodboard, but since you did tell me in dms you wanted one, imma add it, yowza)

Translation: “I’ll always be here, for and with you, my dear.”

You see, the small bit about being the memelord made me decide upon adding onto your matchup a small, let’s say “brochup”, which is basically someone I thought you’d be very good friends with!

Bruno Buccellati!

Where to begin, you just tick on Bruno’s protective nature the minute he sets his beautiful icy blue eyes on you.

Your relationship starts up as a supportive friendship that, bit by bit, ended up in Bruno finding his mind filled with thoughts of you and your whereabouts when you weren’t together. He felt a bit embarrassed, but what could he do about it.

One day, he sits next to you after being done with some paperwork and asks you what is it you’re drawing with so much focus. Apparently, you did not hear him at first, too focused. Artists and the sudden loss of hearing when focused on our own little worlds.

He leaned in closer, watching your expression attentively, feeling his heart thump loudly in his chest and raising a timid hand to your features, only to tuck gently behind your ear one of your hair strands that was getting in the way.

You jumped in your seat upon feeling his slightly cold fingers graze your cheek, also finally noticing his presence with small heat building in your cheeks. You asked what brought him there. And he didn’t think twice upon uttering “I just wanted to see you.” He seemed to he himself redden after speaking, bringing one hand over his lips and getting up, quickly thinking of a way to fix it.

He didn’t need to fix it, you gave him a small timid smile and nod, gesturing for him to sit down once more. “It’s okay, Bruno.” You stated, your voice soft and quiet. “I wanted to see you too.” He was delighted. He gave you a bright smile, showing off his pearly whites. 

From that day onward, you’d received a bouquet of flowers at your door every morning. Each of them had small cards attached to them with small, handwritten positive quotes. Such as; “Face the day with that pretty, wonderful smile of yours on your face. - Love, Bruno” 

You slowly grew to love him back, and one day, he invited you over for some dinner. You ate relaxed, feeling at ease when he was around you, sharing occasional jokes between bites which, at one point, made him choke with his drink, having you pat his back to help him regain his composure.

After the eventful dinner, on your way back home, he escorted you back. When at your door, he seemed to hesitate, pondering something in his mind. You extended your hand tentatively and grazed your fingers with his. He took a second to react, almost immediately taking your hand in his and smiling at you. 

Since he respected your space, he fought back the urge to steal a sweet kiss from you, instead leaning over and placing one on top of your head, making you giggle.

You let go of his hand, slipping beneath the door frame and turning around to face him from there, he stood with a placid smile on his lips. “See you tomorrow, Bruno.”

“See you tomorrow, cara mia.”

He was so in love.

Brochup: Narancia Ghirga!

Holy heck is Narancia delighted you two met. You’re so cool to hang with, and so sweet! He loves it, loves it, loves it! 

He likes to give you silent hugs when you get anxiety episodes and you let him get near, he feels so bad he starts crying, which doesn’t help, but you can appreciate his concern.

Watch out for endless games that relate to guessing memes. Your very own special editions of your average family games taken a turn for the meme. You absolutely love when he gets to recreate “This b*tch empty, YEET!” while playing charades. He always, always hits Mista on the head with whatever he throws. 

Narancia’s just so fond of you, he considers you the sister he never had, so precious to him, he’d take his own bullets for your happiness.

Watch your cute ass get beat in Mario Kart by this competitive and impressively good hardcore Mario Kart gamer boy. He’ll treat you to snacks if you lose because he’ll feel bad (and you’re lucky because you almost always lose).

Narancia loves dancing in front of you to make you laugh. He’ll pop in some funky tune and start dancing in a most extravagant, exaggerated manner, making you feel tears at the corner of your eyes from laughter when he accompanies his wonky movements with “yeah!”, “hu!” and “ha!”’s.

That’s it for your matchup dear! Hope I did well! 

[thisdaynews]

Transfer deadline day - who will make last-minute moves?

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/transfer-deadline-day-who-will-make-last-minute-moves/

Transfer deadline day - who will make last-minute moves?

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Live Reporting

By Gary Rose

All times stated are UK

Posted at 10:0510:05

Harry Redknapp Q&A

Harry Redknapp

Former manager at various clubs

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Abdul: What’s your worst ever transfer?

Difficult, we’ve all had bad ones! I signed Marco Boogers at West Ham. Actually he wasn’t a bad player, he wasn’t expensive and we took a gamble on him. But he got sent off at Old Trafford for taking out Gary Neville. That wasn’t my instruction to do that. Then he disappeared. Someone told me he was living in a caravan! We ended up selling him to someone in Holland.

Posted at 10:0310:03

Solskjaer not expecting any signings today

Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has said he ‘doesn’t think’ his club will sign any players before the transfer deadline closes later today.

Solskjaer wanted a striker in addition to midfielder Bruno Fernandes, who joined United for £47m on Thursday.

But, despite Bournemouth manager Eddie Howe confirming United’s interest in Norway striker Josh King earlier this morning, Solskjaer is pessimistic about further signings.

“I don’t think we will do any more business,” said the United boss.

“January has always been difficult. It is not something you just do like that. I am happy with the ones I have here.”

Solskjaer did previously say Ashley Young and Marcos Rojo would not be leaving Old Trafford this month but both subsequently did.

here.

Posted at 9:579:57

Harry Redknapp Q&A

Harry Redknapp

Former manager at various clubs

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Adrian: Looking back, is there one player you were on the verge of signing but missed out on, that you regret never managing?

Eden Hazard. Joe Cole rang me when he was at Lille and said, “Harry, I’m playing with the best player I’ve ever played with”, and I said, “Woah, that’s some statement Joe, you’ve played with some absolute greats.” So I went over three times, but I didn’t need to see him three times, as once was enough to see how good he was. I went three times, as I wanted to meet him and tell him how keen we were to bring him to Spurs, but unfortunately the deal never got done.

Posted at 9:539:53

Harry Redknapp Q&A

Harry Redknapp

Former manager at various clubs

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Richard Neldet: Who was your best deadline-day signing?

Difficult question. But Rafa Van der Vaart was a great signing. We were looking to loan Rafa because the fee was high but then at the last minute Daniel Levy came to me and said the club need money so we can get him cheaply, and would I be interested in signing him permanently and I said “Yeah, of course I would”, so that was that, we signed him.

Posted at 9:519:51

Giroud to Tottenham ‘possible’

Ian Dennis

Radio 5 live senior football reporter

Olivier Giroud to Tottenham is a possibility but is dependent on Chelsea finding a replacement.

Frank Lampard will block the France forward leaving Stamford Bridge if Chelsea are unable to sign anybody today.

Posted at 9:499:49

Harry Redknapp Q&A

Harry Redknapp

Former manager at various clubs

Benjamin Park: How quickly can last-minute deals get done?

They can get done very quickly. You don’t even have to be with the player. As long as they have the right paperwork to sign to be registered. You’re relying on your secretary. Managers aren’t involved with the paperwork.

Posted at 9:479:47

Guess the deadline-day signing – reveal

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Whoops sorry, this is a little late. I’d given the floor to Harry Redknapp!

Anyway, here is the answer to the guess the deadline-day signing teaser.

It is Alvaro Arbeloa, who signed for Liverpool on this day way back in 2007. The clue was in the first two words of my entry at 09:11 GMT.

Plenty of you got this one right, so well done!

Another to come just after 10:00 GMT.

Posted at 9:439:43

Harry Redknapp Q&A

‘Listen Harry, do you want to loan Aaron Lennon?’

Harry Redknapp

Former manager at various clubs

Anonymous: What time do you get to the training ground on transfer deadline day and what time do you leave?

Well you leave when the window closes and you get in at about 7am. Sometimes though you just shut up shop and go home. But I’ve had plenty of late requests. I remember when I was at QPR and Daniel Levey rings me and says, “Listen do you want to loan Aaron Lennon?” and I was like,”Yeah course I would, but how we going to get hold of him now, it’s half past nine at night?!” We tried, but we couldn’t get hold of him, which was a great shame.

Rex FeaturesCopyright: Rex Features

Posted at 9:389:38

Harry Redknapp Q&A

Harry Redknapp

Former manager at various clubs

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Anonymous: What happened with that failed famous Peter Odemwingie transfer?

Time was dragging on and we couldn’t quite get a deal done with West Brom, but they wanted to get rid of him, so we said you better travel down, as we’re going to run out of time, so if we agree a fee, we’ll then be able to get it done. But he made a big mistake though Peter. Instead of going to the hotel that we’d booked him into round the corner, he came to the football ground. West Brom saw it on TV and thought we were taking a liberty and so pulled the plug! I feel sorry for him, but he was bang to rights.

Posted at 9:329:32

Harry Redknapp Q&A

Harry Redknapp

Former manager at various clubs

When you think of transfer deadline day, who do you think of?

Well Mr Transfer Deadline Day himself, Harry Redknapp, of course.

We asked for your questions, and you inundated us and didn’t disappoint.

So we’ve picked a selection and obviously there was only one place we could start…

Mark: Did you realise your car window interviews would become such a staple of deadline day?

Ha, no I never did. I just find it hard not to be nice to people. There was always someone from Sky TV there and they have a job to do, so if I can do them a favour, I will do. Usually they’d be stood outside for hours. It might have been raining, snowing, freezing cold, and they’d carry on standing there. Sometimes I’d take them a cup of tea, or invite them in for a sandwich in the canteen.

Read more from The Times here

Posted at 9:219:21

‘I know what Manchester United means to him’

Bournemouth v Aston Villa (Sat, 15:00 GMT)

Bournemouth

More from the Bournemouth boss Eddie Howe on Joshua King:

“We have missed him since he has been out injured, so speaking as manager I would be very reluctant to let him leave. With a day to go in the window it’s very difficult to find a replacement.

“It’s going to be [a decision] between the chief executive and owner. I love Josh as a player and person. I know what Manchester United means to him with his history with the club, so I understand his position.”

Posted at 9:209:20

‘I won’t deny anything you have read’

Bournemouth v Aston Villa (Sat, 15:00 GMT)

Bournemouth

Right here is theBournemouth boss Eddie Howe.

Very little chat about a six-pointer with Aston Villa on Saturday but plenty on potential incoming players and Joshua King’s future:

“We’re looking as always. We have never been in the market for permanent deals, we’ve been looking at loans and what we can do. It’s difficult to find players who can make a difference on loan, so I don’t imagine too much happening today, but you can never say never.”

On Joshua King being linked to Manchester United:“I’m not going to deny anything you have read but I don’t want to talk about it too much. He is much valued and loved by us.

“He is a massive part of our team, he brings that unique pace and strength, coupled with technical ability and an eye for goal.”

Posted at 9:189:18

Come in number 18

Manchester United made the biggest signing of the transfer window when they signed Bruno Fernandes from Sporting Lisbon for £47million yesterday.

Fernandes has been given the number 18 shirt previously worn by Paul Scholes and, latterly, Ashley Young.

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer should be talking about Fernandes soon and, possibly, Josh King, who United have spoken to Bournemouth about.

BBC SportCopyright: BBC Sport

Man UtdImage caption: Man Utd

Posted at 9:149:14

Post update

Steve Bruce’s news conference at Newcastle is under way. As soon as we have anything from that you’ll see it here.

In the meantime Bournemouth boss Eddie Howe is on his way. Wonder if Joshua King will get a mention?

Posted at 9:129:12

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SMS Message: I work in Mayfair and just seen Coutinho enter the private medical centre opposite my office, followed by someone in a blue tracksuit, Chelsea maybe?? from Marc, London

I work in Mayfair and just seen Coutinho enter the private medical centre opposite my office, followed by someone in a blue tracksuit, Chelsea maybe??

That would certainly bring Deadline Day to life!

Posted at 9:119:11

Guess the deadline-day signing

Getty ImagesCopyright: Getty Images

Right. Back to our deadline day teasers. Any idea who this player is?

Guesses to#bbcfootball.

Answer at half past.

Posted at 9:099:09

All quiet on the Liverpool front

Mandeep Sanghera

BBC Sport

There are unlikely to be any major ins and outs at Liverpool on transfer deadline day today.

On the signings front, the Premier League leaders did their main business by bringing in winger Takumi Minamino from RB Leipzig at the start of the month.

In terms of outgoings, the Reds knocked back approaches from Roma and Sevilla to take Xherdan Shaqiri on loan earlier this month. They insist they will not consider selling the attacking midfielder until the summer as they remain on course for the top-flight title and are still in the Champions League and FA Cup.

Read More

[thejojosanctuary]

Woo, requests are open again! Can I get the Passione boys with an S/O who has a stand that gives others terrible luck? Like, if it can go wrong, under the influence of this stand it will go wrong, in every way possible . Also, maybe the stand gives it's user all the luck it takes from everyone else, so S/O is super lucky? -Scary 'n Sweet Anon

There were so many characters and I didn’t have many good ideas for this so I couldn’t do as many hcs I hope you don’t mind Scary ‘n Sweet Anon ^^

- Ghost

Giorno

·        Upon learning about their stand’s power, Giorno will believehis S/O’s ability to be quite the useful one especially if they’re a member ofPassione – “A stand that can give othersmisfortune? What a curious ability amore~”

·        He wouldn’t downright ask his S/O to use their misfortuneability (afterall he is more than capable of taking care of matters with hisown hands) but he’ll be grateful if they do decide to use it to help

·        Perhaps he’s misplaced some paperwork or needs to ensure thata mission goes as well as it can, a subtle hint to S/O would be all they needto set it’s abilities into motion, and he’ll be sure to thank them for theirhelp later on

·        Even when he doesn’t ask though S/O will make a habit ofusing their ability without even thinking about it, just seeing Giorno smile ashe realises Passione’s sudden spark of impeccable luck was in part thanks tothem  is more than enough to make themhappy

Buccellati

·        Bruno wouldn’t mind about their ability, he finds it quitenifty but wouldn’t push them to much about details and uses if it’s a standthey don’t typically use often

·        S/O is going to want to help this poor stressed man withwhatever he’s doing just to make things easier for him, which is why he’ll findthat he’s had quite the spark of luck in their last few missions or whenever heneeds to sort out matters inside of Passione’s ranks

·        It won’t take long before Bruno finds out that it’s due toS/O’s ability and whilst he’ll be grateful he knows that constant use of astand can be detrimental to their health and he’ll confront them about it

·        He’ll convince them to save their ability for a time wherethey might need it the most – it’s fine if they want to use their stand as theplease but it would put him more at ease if they were more selective with theirability’s use

Abbacchio

·        Abbacchio’s completely indifferent to his S/O’s ability, noteven batting an eye at the fact that they could provide such luck to theirlives because let’s be honest this is Abba we’re talking about

·        However, upon learning that they can cause others misfortune…he and S/O are going to lettheir evil sides a little loose on the other members of Passione

·        You can hear Narancia’s terrified screams as he wakes up to aroom filled head to toe with maths papers that had blown off of a passingschool bus, along with Fugo’s angry howls as he keeps getting the holes of hisclothing caught on every hooked and sharp object in the vicinity; all whileGiorno stares in horror at the swarm of moths that have ruined his new wardrobeof clothes and Trish, who’s crying over the fact that all of her products havespilled and ruined nearly all of her newest outfits

·        Bruno is the only one who escapes S/O’s stand due to bothAbba and S/O having  mutual respect forhim (and because neither want to suffer mama Bruno’s wrath)

Mista

·        Finally Mista no longer has to fear the number 4 Mista would think his S/O’sstand ability is really cool and considering he lives his life by followinglucky and unlucky numbers it’s even cooler in his eyes

·        Their ability coupled with Sex Pistols are going to make anunstoppable duo, both inside and outside of battle; during a fight S/O’s standwill be able to help ensure that all of Mista’s bullets would hit their mark andthat any wounds he could have received from the enemy either don’t happen oraren’t nearly as severe as they could be

·        Outside of battle Sex Pistol’s will be all over S/O’s stand,hanging around them constantly and asking and talking about things concerningtheir ability but they’ll also shower them with praises after every enemy fight

·        Although he’ll have to be careful not to get on S/O’s bad sideor else little things will start happen – he’ll mysteriously wake up a 4 everymorning, he’s 4 minutes late to a Passione meeting, his next enemy battle is himselfagainst 4 enemy stand users (he’s suffering)

Narancia

·        Narancia is so excited when he hears about their stand’s ability– a stand that can give others good luck and bad luck?! Hell yeah!

·        He’ll beg his S/O to give him good luck when he desperately needsit (which by Narancia standards is almost once a day) and if they do he’ll besure to thank them with a hug and a smooch to the cheek

·        If he has to do anything important (like studying or gettingwork done) and S/O decides to use their stand to help then he’ll be ecstaticand will practically take them off of their feet as he thanks them repeatedlyover and over

·        Narancia will also be interested to see what happens topeople unlucky enough to get the opposite of his partners treatment, not forenjoyment but because it reminds him that his S/O is someone that needs respector else he’ll end up like the others (like Mista for example)

Fugo

·        Fugo wouldn’t really think to rely on S/O’s ability veryoften, in fact the only time he would be during a dire mission where things aregoing wrong for their side

·        He’ll appreciate their ability because it’s useful for beinga part of Passione and it would make things easier for all of them whenever S/Ocomes around to aid in a particularly difficult situation

·        When Purple Haze is forced to be brought out in battle orotherwise he’ll implore his S/O to use their ability to help make sure that hisstand doesn’t end up accidentally killing someone with its unpredictableness

·        This will relax him a little to know that S/O is going tohelp stop anything bad from happening and may help him be a little moreconfident with his stand whenever he’s in their stand’s vicinity of range

[the-victorian-wallflower]

From the Archives: My review of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ (2015)

Originally posted on Blogspot, 03/03/2015.

**CN: Spoilers**

TITLE: Fifty Shades Of Grey YEAR: 2015 STUDIO: Universal DIRECTOR: Sam Taylor-Wood SCREENWRITER: Kelly Marcel (based on the novel by E.L. James) On the same day I watched this film, my parents came home from a little holiday and had bought me some cheese, the package of which promised a hint of blue.  Anyone going into this film hoping for some cheese will be disappointed but there is at least a hint of blue in it. Based on the vastly popular bestseller by E.L. James and adapted by the writer of the vastly superior Saving Mr Banks (2013), perhaps the film-makers should have learned a lesson from that film and followed Disney's lead in how they chose to adapt the source material despite the author's protestations.  If the film-makers had indeed tried to adjust the story due to questionable material (hands-up right now, this author has only merely scantly glanced at the source material), they have come up with something that seems both compromised and at the same time nothing that members of the kink community should be protesting about.  Compromised because they may well have tried to "improve" on the source text, ethically speaking, but also having to be saddled with the two leads giving monotonous readings for the duration. The leads in question being Anastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) - a virginal English Literature student with an annoying name, and 27-year-old-but-looks-12 billionaire Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan), who is clearly an alien or a robot, based on the evidence of Dornan's performance.  They are introduced to each other when Steele comes to his office for an interview for the student magazine and she makes a very contrived trip onto the floor.  For some reason, she is soon taken with him and for some reason, he starts demonstrating stalker tendencies.  Early warning signs include when he informs her that he won't touch her without her written consent but pretty much a minute later changes his mind in a lift and says "Fuck the paperwork!" before cornering her for a snog.  At another point Ana phones him while drunk on a night out and he comes over to rescue her from a friend coming onto her (and no, not in that way).  Ana swoons and regains consciousness in a bedroom and in a new set of clothes with an 'Alice in Wonderland' plot device at her bedside - a bottle of something that says "Drink me" and something the says "Eat me".  So, like any idiot, she does.  Apparently Christian redressed her and slept at her side but nothing further - "Necrophilia is not my thing", he claims.  Dude, that's not the word for what it would have been - this is the first of two instances where the film-makers tread around that particular subject like it was an eggshell.  The other is when it turns out Grey was seduced at the age of 15 by his own "Mrs. Robinson".  Mrs. Robinson wasn't a paedophile though, although Ana's refers to the seductress as a "child abuser" for some reason. Grey also gifts Ana with old books, a new computer, and a car, and soon she is taken to his place.  He claims he doesn't do romance but he does show what he does do - he has a "play room" (yeah, he's into that sort of thing).  Ana reveals that she's a virgin and he decides that's something that needs rectifying.  Wanker.  What follows is the first of a few sex scenes that reminds us that this is a film for "adults" (through the eyes of mums that were technically too old for Twilight).  It's vaguely surprising to see a mainstream Hollywood film have this kind of frank nudity on display but it's not particularly onanistic stuff.  If anything, Steve McQueen's Shame (2011) could serve as a palette cleanser and the quasi-religious flogging scene (accompanied by Church choir courtesy of Danny Elfman's score) serves as a reminder to go back and re-watch Ken Russell's The Devils (1971).  Even the seemingly stop-motion animated subliminal "flash" (oh, I see what they did there) of a close-up of Dornan's crotch as he unzips just brings to mind the dancing penis from Bruno (2009). One can detect the Twilight roots with regards to the Grey character - he's a protective guy who at one point saves our heroine from being knocked down and likes to play the piano.  So it seems Grey's way of doing things is to set up a contract if Ana is to be his submissive (hardly an appealing selling point for the lifestyle) and she proposes a business meeting so they can negotiate (zzzzzzz).  At this meeting, she declares that there is to be no anal fisting (you'd think at this point, the film-makers were sniggering behind the camera like the audience would be while E.L. James gives them the evils).  Perhaps unfortunately, this wasn't directed by Paul Verhoeven nor written by Joe Eszterhas, although the nearest to Eszerthasan it gets is when Grey declares "I don't make love.  I fuck.  Hard."  Still, Showgirls (1995) it ain't. Ana is reluctant to sign the contract and seems to prefer a "normal" relationship.  She asks Grey at one point why he's trying to change her, and he tells her it's the other way round.  There's no real evidence of this except when he's persuaded to stay in bed with her the whole night and actually smiles (sorta) in a newspaper photo taken of the two of them together.  We don't actually really care about these characters although by the end of the film, perhaps through its sheer length, we at least feel like we've known them and have been in their company and any "nostalgia" felt when seeing them in subsequent sequels would be like seeing Bella and Edward in a new Twilight film even if you weren't a fan of the previous ones.   To be fair, even if the kink lifestyle isn't given a fair hearing in this film, it is possible that the film (I can't comment on the novel) can be seen as a cautionary tale on how not to live it.  Anyone curious about the lifestyle could be either attracted to it even more or turned away from it.  And unlike the Twilight movies, this adaptation refrains from using a voice-over by the protagonist, thus creating an objective view of the proceedings and letting the audience decide for themselves.  Rather than a "love story", it's more of an "anti-love story" where the two leads don't end up together.  What would have made it more interesting would be if the film-makers provided a commentary on a seemingly "vanilla" (i.e. "normal") equivalent of a dominant/submissive relationship, such as that in which the woman is regarded and treated as a "princess".  Here, they could even have added an anti-monarchy agenda. As with Jupiter Ascending (2014), it's a bit of a shame this film presumably wasn't edited by the makers of the film's trailer - the one that showcased Beyoncé's theme song "Haunted", and succeeded in making the film look like a fragrance advert.