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#because Eddie has given him everything else - and buck hs given Eddie everything else
stagefoureddiediaz · 8 days
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To use the word Hell was such a choice - like there was no need to use it - Tim could of just saud ‘who he is’ or some such.
But no he chose to use the word hell.
Hell as in heaven and hell. As in religion. As in we’ve been setting up an arc where Eddie has to reckon with his catholic faith (lapsed). That reckoning is a key part of who he is and his religion has always told him that gay = going to hell.
So Eddie figuring out who the hell he is means Eddie having to figure out what hell actually looks like to him and if that version of hell is better or worse than the version of hell Catholicism has created.
#Eddie realising buck is central to his life and his happiness when he doesn’t have him as easily available#but that Eddie isn’t perhaps as central to bucks life#and how that is what hell looks like to Eddie#and if that’s what he’ll looks like to him - a world without buck - what does that mean for him#who does that make him#if he no longer has Christopher to hide behind and he is then faced with reckoning with what else makes up his life#only to find Buck is also not as present because Tommy is there and Tommy is a version of#so what is it that Tommy has that Eddie doesn’t - why would buck choose a version of Eddie over the actual Eddie?#and if Tommy is another version of him then maybe Buck actually wants Eddie but Eddie isn’t gay#but Tommy came out when he was older - and Tommy is like him so maybe Eddie is like Tommy as well and isn’t as straight as he thought#and maybe if Eddie isn’t as straight as he thought then maybe who he is is a gay man#and if he’s a gay man then maybe his reltionship with Shannon didn’t work because it wasn’t meant to#because he loved her but it was always so hard and they never had each others backs#but buck has always had his back and buck hs always stepped up and helped and things are easy with him#it’s a real partnership and it fulfills him and he didn’t know that or how much until Buck isn’t there because he’s dating someone who is#a version of Eddie. someone who can give buck the only thing Eddie hasn’t been able to give buck#because Eddie has given him everything else - and buck hs given Eddie everything else#but if Eddie’s gay then he and buck can give each other the one thing that’s missing#but Eddie’s too late. excuse Tommy is there where Eddie should be#so maybe if he goes back to the church he can find a way to get over it - get over Buck and be happy for him#and maybe if he does that he’ll be a better person and then Chris will come home to him#but maybe if buck knows Eddie is an option because Eddie is gay- then if things don’t work out with Tommy buck will choose Eddie.#maybe maybe maybe#Eddie’s spiral in tags 😬#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#911 abc#evan buckley#anti bucktommy#Tommy is Eddie lite
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