john-get-the-salt

[john-get-the-salt]

[john-get-the-salt]

adhd paralysis sucks bcuz im just sitting there and my brain is like

YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME YOU ARE WASTING TIME

no work done no rest gained. literally no point of this at all

[john-get-the-salt]

Tight Leash w/ Roy Kent

Imagine: Roy has managed to keep his feelings for you to himself….until one night he’s unable to hold onto them any longer.

Contains: fem/reader, cursing, Roy losing his absolute shit in the best way, sexual innuendos

Warnings: none

“I can’t believe I ever let you convince me to wear this.”

“Babes you look phenomenal,” Keeley preened.

You might not have had the option to skip the fundraiser event you were about to enter, but you did have the option to wear something more….lowkey. You did tend to keep it lowkey, as one of the clubs media specialists. Keeley handed all of the flashy bits, the paparazzi and signings and public appearances. You tended to a lot of the background stuff; the sports articles and communications within the league, and the clubs various websites and platforms. Ever since you joined the team nearly a year go now you liked to work in the background, liked being unnoticeable.

Unfortunately you’d become best friends with Keeley Jones-the most noticeable person on the planet. And when you learned you had to attend some annual fundraising gala Rebecca was putting on, Keeley made it her life mission to convince you to wear something daring. And in a moment of weakness you’d agreed.

But now that you were present at the gala and it was almost your turn to walk to press carpet, you were having some serious regrets.

“Seriously Keeley, I feel ridiculous. One of the guys is going to see me and bust out laughing. This is something Rebecca would wear and pull off, not me.” Not to mention the carpet ahead was daunting. Cameras flashing constantly, held by shouting, viperous paparazzi.

“Hey,” Keeley pulled you to the side, forcing you to look at her instead of ahead at the walk into the hall. “No matter what mean things your brain are telling you right now, you look phenomenal. And when the guys see you, when Kent sees you-they’re gonna be lost for words.”

You flushed, because of course your best friend couldn’t resist mentioning the man you had a huge thing for. She never let it go after you let it slip one night. The two of you were just friends, no matter how much Keeley insisted that Roy was in love with you. You two had hit it off shortly after you started, appreciating each other’s dry sense of humor and love of cursing. Besides Keeley he was your best friend. But that was it-no matter how much you daydreamed of more.

"You've got this babe, i promise. Don’t forget-you are a badass bitch." Keeley gave you a final smile and quick kiss on the cheek before she was being called up. She left your side and stepped out onto the carpet. The photographers went wide, bursts of light exploding. You were officially next.

You took a deep breath, in and out. You just wanted to be inside the gala with your people, having fun with the club and Rebecca and Keeley. Unfortunately, this carpet stood in between you and them.

Just when you thought you had taken enough deep breaths and were finally ready, you heard a sharp inhale behind you. You risked a glance over your shoulder, finding Roy standing a few feet behind you. And you had to admit, he looked good. The all black attire did not surprise you but it did suit him. He was taking you in, slowly, from head to toe. Your outfit was all white, comprised of crisp high waisted pants and a corseted long sleeve top. (see visual below, I love a good visual, tho feel free to alter it in your brain to best suit you)

When his eyes finally rose to your chest he swore.

"Fucking hell."

"What was that, Roy?"

His eyes rose again, this time to meet yours.

Maybe it was Keely's words ringing around your head, or the way Roy couldn't keep his eyes off you, or the shot of whiskey you'd taken on the drive in. But regardless, you suddenly felt a smudge more confident. So with a final mental fuck it, you decided to embrace it. You relaxed your shoulders, straightened your spine, and as they called your name you smiled at Roy and gave a quick wink before you spun on your heel and took your first step out onto the carpet.

The cameras lit up, photographers crying for a spin, a turn, an angle, any bit of attention. You stopped a few times, allowing them pictures of you in different poses. The lights and the noises soon became too much however, so you kept it short before you strutted down the rest of the carpet and made it inside the gala building where Keely was stood waiting.

"Oh my god, you looked like a right model walking into a show," she gushed. "Those pictures of you are going to be jaw-dropping babe. And poor Roy's dragging his jaw against the floor."

You flushed as you let the excitable girl link arms with you and drag you towards the teams designated table. "I don't know what came over me, Ke. I just decided to go with it and channel my inner Rebecca. And I fucking winked at Roy. Who am I?“

"If he doesn't pull you away to ravish you by the end of the night I will."

You giggled with your friend, happily accepting the drink she got you.

"Ladies."

To your delight Coach Lasso approached, eyes crinkled as he smiled. "You both look down-right beautiful."

"Oh thank you Ted, you're looking quite handsome this evening."

"Well that's mighty kind of you. Now between the three of us, I was really just coming to let you know that Roy just stormed into the building like a starved man on a mission, demanding to know if I'd seen which way you went. The poor man looked so red in the face I was worried he was going to keel over."

You flushed, eyes suddenly finding the floor quite interesting.

"Now you two wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?"

"He's realizing that he's in love with her," Keely couldn't help but gush.

Eyes widening, you smacked her arm.

"Ow!"

"Keely! He is not!"

"Ah," Lasso hummed, chuckling a bit. "It's about damn time. The boys and I are getting tired of the silent pining."

"We are not- there is no silent pining." You argued, looking between your two friends.

“You two have been inseparable since you met. You spend more time with him then anyone else in the club, babes.”

“Kee, we’re just friends.”

"I don’t think he thinks that," Lasso gestured with his head and you followed his gaze, finding Roy stood across the room, staring straight at you.

Your heart skipped a beat as his intense eyes met yours.

"I need some water," you stated, the air suddenly too heavy to breath.

"I can-"

"It's ok, Kee," you interrupted, kissing her cheek. "I'll be back."

She nor Lasso argued, watching as you hurried away from the table and towards the bar. Roy was after you the next minute, speeding across the floor and past the table towards you.

"Those two...." Lasso trailed off as he shook his head.

"Idiots."

"Lovesick idiots."

-

You weren't really thinking straight when you rushed away from your friends. All you could think was that the weight of Roy's gaze was heavy, stifling, and you felt your chest constrict.

You stepped up to the bar and asked for an ice water, receiving it moments later. You thanked the bartender and glided over to a neglected corner of the room, where only a few stragglers buzzed around. It was quieter over here, and you could feel the ache in your chest ease slightly.

"Hey," a soft voice invaded your space.

You froze, turning.

Roy was stood there, looking down at you again with that intense dark gaze.

"Hi," you said softly, unable to stop your eyes from flickering down to his lips before quickly back up.

"You look....fucking beautiful."

A heat began in your cheeks, reaching down your neck and no doubt flushing your collar and chest as well.

"That word doesn't seem quite enough. Fucking....breathtaking." And the way he said it sounded like he was, in fact, breathless. His chest heaved, as he stood perfectly still in front of you.

The heat was beginning to prick at your stomach, and if Roy wasn't very careful it was going to continue to travel downward.

"Thank you. Everyone here looks pretty amazing."

"Sweetheart, I haven't so much as glanced at anyone else in here. How can I, when you look so...." he trailed off, lips parting silently.

"What?"

“I’ve been doing my best to keep what I was feeling on a tight leash. I never wanted to ruin…this. Our friendship. I don’t know what I’d do with it, but…”

You furrowed your eyebrows. He wasn’t making any sense. “What are you saying Roy?”

"Can I kiss you?"

Ok, the heat had officially traveled to your entire body. You felt like you were on fire, and all Roy was doing was looking at you. Never had you considered how much a simple question like that could affect you, but as you watched him wait in heavy anticipation, wanting to touch you but unwilling until you gave him permission, you became weak in the knees.

"Yes-" the word was barely out of your mouth before he was kissing you, trapping the word in between you. His hands cradled your face so delicately, like you were made of glass. You rested your hands on his chest, appreciating the muscle you felt under the suit.

His lips were so soft, and tasted faintly of the cherry chapstick you'd given him just the other day. He smelled of spicy cologne and his scruff tickled your face.

He pulled away, just enough to meet your eyes.

"I may be the most stubborn, selfish, miserable prick on this planet, but you make me feel like I'm so much more. And this may be the most selfish thing I ever do, but I don't fucking care anymore. I'm in love with you."

Your lips parted, eye searching his for any signs of deception. You couldn't find any.

"Im in love with you too, my miserable prick."

He choked on a laugh, his eyes glassy as he rested his forehead against yours. "God, I love you so fucking much."

"I love you even fucking more."

[john-get-the-salt]

Since the holiday toy drive post is circulating again, I figured this would also be helpful! Food insecurity is such a massive problem in America, in general, and if you have the means to help feed others, I think you should take that opportunity. Here are some other tips:

1. If you’re planning on donating items from your own pantry, please check the expiration dates on the packaging. Think of your donations as gifts to bestow, not castoffs to be rid of. It’s awful to think of people feeling like they got scraps someone else just didn’t want. Everyone deserves dignity with their meals.

2. If you’d rather give money to a food bank, that’s also great since they buy food in bulk and know what items are most wanted/needed!

3. Not everyone has access to appliances like stoves or microwaves or hot plates so if you can donate items that don’t need to be heated up, that would also be greatly appreciated!

🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[john-get-the-salt]

today in church one of the priests referred to trans people as "those who are growing into the gender they were called to be" and i'm kind of enjoying the idea of like....divinely ordained top surgery

[john-get-the-salt]

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN. Ted Lasso and Marvel work coming soooooon

[john-get-the-salt]

well 🧍‍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.

[john-get-the-salt]

Rick Owens Spring 2024 Ready-to-Wear PFW

[john-get-the-salt]

Two things to prop up right now:

The ACLU - They’ll do their best to make sure this dumpster fire doesn’t turn into a wildfire.

The Trevor Project - They’ll be fielding a lot of calls, texts, and chats in the next few days and beyond.

[john-get-the-salt]

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

[john-get-the-salt]

[john-get-the-salt]

howley and aziraphil are here to save the world

howley and aziraphil are here to save the world

[john-get-the-salt]

[john-get-the-salt]

This is so darn cute 😭🫶

Halloween Decorating, Spencer Reid

I wanted to try and write something different, so this is my first piece using the second person point of view.

Skip if you don't celebrate or like Halloween, but if you're a Halloween lover like me, then I hope you enjoy 😊

Word count: 800~

So far, living with Spencer has felt like a dream for you. You and Spencer hardly got into disagreements when moving in, and when it came to combining each other's things, Spencer had no problem moving his things around to make room for yours. For someone who had never really lived with anyone else, this was a massive step for Spencer, but it wasn't hard for him to make that step for you.

Your combined furniture gave the place a unique look; now two couches in place of one, and two side tables next to them differing in height and shape. More than half of his closet was filled with your clothing, and most of his bathroom countertop was now covered in your various makeup and beauty products. The sight of this actually made him happy as it was a stark contrast to the lonely toothbrush and hairbrush usually adorning his counter.

However, that happiness only grew upon opening an unlabeled box filled with what looked to be pumpkins and other various decorations. Upon opening the other unmarked totes, Spencer found himself excited as if he were a child on Christmas. Five totes full of nothing but Halloween decorations, and Spencer couldn’t help but practically gush over everything.

When you are done with putting away all your kitchen stuff and other dishes, you walk in and find him already setting out the decorations as if they were year-round. Although, you can't help the smile on your face as you see all the other boxes open and ready to be emptied. Only then does he notice you, a grin taking over his face. "I know it's only the first of September," He explains, beginning to walk over to you. "but as long as you don't mind, maybe we can start putting up the decorations now?"

A few seconds pass before you chuckle and nod excitedly, happy to decorate for something you love so early.

After emptying every tote and decorating every surface, you two are left with a home that looks like it came straight out of Halloweentown. Skulls and ravens adorn every surface in the house, candy-corn-themed lights are strung along the walls, and the couches are filled with fall themed throw pillows and blankets. Even the kitchen didn't go untouched with various spooky hand-towels and oven mitts decorating the cabinets.

Finished, you two step back and gaze at everything with smiles stuck on your faces. Finding Spencer's hand, you give it a little squeeze to gain his attention which works. Looking at you, he swears he feels his heart skip a beat as the orange light surrounding you two frames your face in a soft glow. Meanwhile, you're busy thinking about the fact that you actually found someone who loves Halloween like you do.

Yes, you owned all of the decorations before you even met Spencer, but you never really put everything up at once like this. When you lived by yourself, it didn't seem worth it to decorate like that when no one else would be able to enjoy it besides you. Plus, you would have never thought to decorate certain things the way that Spencer did as his height gave him a bigger advantage with the leaf foliage and fake cobwebs.

"I love everything so mu-" you go to say a compliment, but Spencer cuts you off with a kiss. Granted, it wasn’t on purpose. It just happened to flow that way as Spencer felt himself leaning closer to you the more he thought of how far along you two had grown together.

Pulling away from each other's lips after a few seconds, a giggle escaped your lips at Spencer's sudden boldness, his arms now beginning to wrap themselves around your waist and hold you tight. You found yourself doing the same as you rested your head against his sweater-covered chest. As you held each other close, you could practically feel the both of you physically relax in your holds before leaning your head up at Spencer.

"Thank you for being my Halloween buddy," you gently murmur to him, careful not to dig your chin any further into his chest. At the same time, you could begin to feel Spencer’s heart beating faster in response. He had always loved Halloween, but to find someone who loved it just as much, if not more than him? He couldn’t have been happier.

"Thank you for being mine too," he replied, leaning down to connect your lips once more. For the rest of the night, the scary movie you had put on your laptop played in the background abandoned while your focus kept being diverted to one another rather than the TV. You and Spencer both loved Halloween, but as the night grew longer and the more you stayed in each other’s holds, you both realized you loved each other even more.

[john-get-the-salt]

The Ocean, Me, MS Paint, 2022

[john-get-the-salt]

Halloween in Hanbok. These illustrations are featured in my 2025 Wall Calendar available in my shop now! 🎃🎃🎃💀💀💀

SHOP