#I love a good metaphor and especially good ones

[twig-tea]

GL Odds and Ends January 2025

I'm still trying to figure out what 2025 means for me in terms of where and how I spend my time, but one thing I am passionate about is making sure there is a record of GL media, so I'm going to try to prioritize keeping this up to at minimum monthly, though I might change up the format. Last one was end of December 2024. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list and my #gl recs tag for the other odds and ends posts. Series new to the roundup are marked with an asterisk*.

Currently airing (with thoughts up to 31 Jan):

Petrichor ep 9/10 (Thai, Saturdays, 10:00 AM ET, iQIYI) I've appreciated the struggle that Tul has gone through in terms of wanting to use her police powers to protect her family though that goes against her morals, and some of the procedural aspects I was grumbling about before have been explained by the plot. However, it still bothers me that she's not a very good detective. That being said, Engfa and Charlotte still have fantastic chemistry, and Na is having what seems like the time of his life.

*Us the series ep 2/12 (Thai, Saturdays, 8:00 AM ET, YouTube) I admit I think I have Chao Planoy fatigue. Age gap, both characters are lying to each other, there are abusive family members, and a guy who seems nice but I'm braced for a reveal about how he's actually awful. I'm feeling like I'm playing bingo. Honestly If someone gets hit by a car I might lose it. All my baggage aside, the pacing on this feels uneven and it doesn't feel like it has its feet yet.

*Call Me By No Name ep 4/8 (Japanese, Thursdays, 12:30 PM ET, GagaOOLala) Honestly I am not buying the romance between these two protagonists and I am finding them a little overwrought.

*Trunk Girl ep 1/? (Korean, possibly Thursdays, YouTube) This has just started, and the vibes are off. I am suspicious of the circumstances that led this runaway to stay with her friend, especially when she kissed her in her sleep (and I don't mean suspicious of sapphic feelings, those are already taken as given considering the genre).

*FirstLOVE ep 5/? (Korean, Mondays, YouTube) Toxic girlfriend gets replaced and then regrets letting her lover go. We'll see how this ends but this is another messy drama that feels pretty rough.

*I Am Devil ep 5/? (Thai, Saturdays, YouTube) Gonna be honest with y'all I watched ep1 and shelved the rest, it's a pulp in the style of high drama like Sastra and JPC below produce and just isn't my jam. If you're looking for high heat lakorn-style drama, give this a try.

[Note: Mate is still airing if you did not fast track, but since I did I've included it in the following section]

Recently Completed:

The Fragrance You inherit 8eps 25mins each (Japanese, 8 Nov 24-27 Dec 24, no official distribution but fansub on @isaksbestpillow's blog[thank you Siiri!] I loved this finale and wrote about it here. For those who don't want to click the link, in short this is not a romance but a really beautiful and sweet show about all kinds of interpersonal relationships.

Pluto 12eps 45 mins each (Thai, 19 Oct 24-04 Jan 25, YouTube) This series showcased the skills and chemistry of Namtan and Film, and had some of the most iconic product placement in a GL to date. The plot was messy but held together, and as much as I was unimpressed with their choices week to week, their choices made sense within the narrative (and genre) being told. I knew this one wasn't for me, but what it was doing, it did pretty well, and beautifully. The one real ding from me was the use of blindness as a metaphor that essentially got handwaved away; that and I think it was doing too much. But I am glad that before that, there was some great use of their platform to highlight the importance of universal design.

INTP 4eps 5 mins each (Korean, 27 Dec 24-22 Jan 25 YouTube) This is the latest short series from RedQ, who produced some of my favourite GL short series including More than or equal to 75 degrees C, and To the Ex who Hated Me. I said when this started that the setup of this one reminded me of Semantic Error if SangWoo realized he was attracted to JaeYoung at their first group assignment meeting, and I think that holds. These two fell for each other because they both care about the group project, and both protect each other. It's a bit short but I found it very sweet.

Mate, 12eps 50+ mins each (Thai, 26 Nov 24-28 Jan 25 fast-track or 4 Feb 25, WeTV (uncut version)) In the end this show remained a struggle for me. There were things it was doing that I really liked (the characters tried hard not to resort to noble idiocy, and when characters did resort to noble idiocy they were confronted with the consequences, for example), and things that I really did not, and there were parts that were really hard to watch and will haunt me. There are a lot of things I like about this show, so I don't want to discourage views. Just go into this one informed, and make the decision that's right for you.

*Adrenaline 4eps 15 mins each (Thai, 10 Jan-31 Jan 25, YouTube) This show is a cross between a travel ad and a lakorn. This is a major spoiler, but the main character has a secret condition where she forgets things that causes her to forget her first time with her girlfriend!? This show is so messy lol

Recent One-offs, Side Couples, etc.:

Fireworks of Yesteryear/When We Met has been made available on YouTube. A 35-minute Chinese GL that includes a makeout and as a result the production team have been working hard to get it in front of eyeballs. This is a moody piece with an open ending; there's an age gap too so YMMV (30s and 22).

GL microseries Your Name Engraved Herein (not to be confused with the BL feature film) has been subtitled by @douqi7s. Watch the original on Bilibili and enjoy the subs on YouTube. This one is also melancholy but it's some really tight storytelling in under 2 mins and manages to feel hopeful even though it's sad.

There is a lesbian side couple in Flirt Milk the series (airing now on iQIYI). This couple Noon and Praewa previously appeared as sides in Love Senior.

There is a new MV featuring a lesbian couple for the artist KnomJean on YouTube. This is one of those MVs that tells a story (TW for family violence) and after getting through the sad backstory, celebrates marriage equality in Thailand.

IdolFactory is re-running GAP the series on YouTube. If you've been putting off watching, now is a good time!

Speaking of re-runs, Yes Or No and the two sequel/spinoffs (Yes or No 2, and Yes or No 2.5) are all newly on GagaOOLala for streaming in some regions (I know for sure they're in North America, not sure about others)

Uranus2324 is starting to show up in particular places on the internet. I watched it and after all of the negative things I'd heard I actually liked it lol I'll see if I can write about it more this week

My suspected wlw sides in See Your Love ended up being implied only I was a little sad about this but at least I wasn't imagining the vibes.

Mom Ped Sawan is still airing but I still don't have a source for subs

Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out

Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so; that being said I haven't had time recently so if I've missed anything good let me know!

Starting soon:

Reverse With Me (sequel spinoff to Reverse 4 U), Thai, 5 Feb, iQIYI and Ch3+ app

Fragrance of the First Flower s2, Taiwanese, 18 February 2025, GagaOOLala ok this isn't that soon but I'm just so excited we're getting this second season after all!

As always, if I'm missing anything, please let me know!

[ngage2003]

Hi I love your mh character analysis posts they are so GOOD, would you be able to do more about Tim pretty please :]

First of all, Thank you :-)! Second of all, yeah I have some things I can say about Tim, though a bit funnily, they are a bit discoordinated compared to some of my other analyses.

After all, out of all the characters in Marble Hornets, Tim Wright is the one we know most about, as his life is laid out for us pretty definitely over the course of the series. Because of this, my focus tends to be on his metaphorical other half, Masky, but I do have some things to say about the two of them and their upbringing, and a few unanswered questions which I will try to satisfactorily put my pen to.

⟦content warning: discussions of child abuse/dangerous households, suicide, hospitals, and wildly off the rails theorycrafting⟧

Alright, so why is Tim a system? This is a question some of you may raise your eyebrow at if you're unfamiliar with DID but stick with me here. We know that Tim only started being taken by the Operator and having seizures in 1995, when he was a child, but over seven years old. (I'll get into how we know this later.) We as a society honestly don't know a lot about Dissociative Identity Disorder and its sisters but one thing we do know is it is caused by extensive stress/trauma inducing dissociation in a extremely young childhood, usually under the age of seven if not even younger, where the mind dissociating from trauma to protect itself causes it to fail to coalesce/develop properly into one identity. That is the main theory behind how DID forms, and given that Tim is only seeming to be extensively exposed to the Operator at seven, but would that be enough for Tim to develop DID? Alex didn't develop it, despite also being hinted at having been exposed to it at the same age.

Note: In enttry #37, we see a home video of Alex at 6 years old in 1991, with heavy Operator distortion implying that it has somehow corrupted this tape and/or was here. This combined with the fact Alex repeatedly goes to a playground to confront/find the Operator in my opinion more or less guarantees that he saw it as a young child. This makes sense especially considering the original "Something Awful" forum pictures in my opinion. Alex's backstory with the Operator basically directly references them, which would make sense since they literally inspired the series.

Granted, you could just hand wave this or go "ok but who cares, they probably weren't even trying to make a character with DID," and yeah, you're right, but I want to actually look at Tim's character and explore his childhood a bit to try to understand it, especially in relation to this fact.

Our main fount of information in relation to Tim's childhood is Entry 66 and Entry 60.5. I am going to start with the latter, for a few very specific reasons.

See, in Entry 60.5, we actually get to see 5 of Tim's medical documents, not just one. This is a fact that is seemingly forgotten a lot by the fandom, and I wanted to get into it for my speculation.

The first document we see though is a Pediatric Admissions Profile from December 12th 1995, followed up by a Pediatric Admissions Assessment of the same year at 11:45 A.M. I do not believe these records are from his institutionalization, but rather a hospital visit that directly proceeded it, one that was probably caused by Tim having a seizure at home and needing to go to the hospital, but lets take this one step at a time.

These Admissions forms explain that Tim's conditions and symptoms at his time of admittance, ones we know well as products of Operator exposure. They also give us a precious piece of information that never comes up again though.

Tim's mom's name.

Janet Wright answers all the questions on the Pediatric Admissions Profile, and it is through her answers that we learn several facts, like that Tim has completed 2nd grade at the time of these papers, (meaning he is probably in 3rd,) and that he is on an anti-convulsant, along with the fact he has a history of falls, apparently needs/has glasses, has emotional barriers to learning, that someone has smoked in the house in the past year, and that Tim lives at home alone with her.

This is something reaffirmed on the PA Assessment, which was probably something that either a nurse or his Psychiatrist filled out by asking Tim himself questions.

Under Category 5., Assistance required for Care, there is a part where it says that for emotional support, "Child relys on: Mother (✓) Father ( ) Sibling ( )". Additionally, it also says asks, "who else besides parents might be staying with child?" Which is answered with a Not Applicable, along with the question, "has your family had any recent changes in your life? (moved, divorce, birth, death, new job, etc.)" Which is also answered with a no.

It continues, and we learn from it that Tim has poor orientation to time along with his chronic headaches, as well as signs and symptoms of depression, as well as that he struggles to engage with peers his age and doesn't have/begin hobbies.

Most importantly though, it is mentioned that his condition isn't affected by his household, which could refer to simply his seizures, but I think is important to mention given his depressive symptoms. At least in this moment, it doesn't seem like to the person doing the assessment that Tim is depressed due to his mom.

(Though that can be hard to pick up on but regardless.)

We also learn that he experiences high risk on a Fall Assessment Scale, as he is checked off as "confused, disoriented, hallucinating, combative," and having a history of "syncope, seizures,"—which is underlined—"postural hypotension".

I believe he only really started to have seizures this year though, as it is mentioned under "Plan of Care" that he ran away from home two "somethings" ago before being found at Rosswood, which I believe to be weeks or months. (If it was two years, why still mention it here?) I don't think that Tim ran away though, but rather, was taken and teleported by the Operator and Operatortured, an event that left him having chronic seizures. After all, despite Jay being exposed to the Operator for years, we only see him begin to have those only after the Operator snatches him in Entry 72. I think this snatching/possible Operatorture is key in it inducing/beginning to induce seizures.

Moving on though, two of the next three documents are from the same day, with both being from 7/8/02.

The first (Delayed Therapy Communication Form) that we are shown being filled out at 15:10 or 3:10 PM, and the second being an assessment (Suicide/Self-Harm Assessment Tool) that was filled out at 8:45 in the morning, probably by hospital staff in preparation for therapy later in the day. On the latter, Tim was left with a rather high suicide risk score, and a comment of supposedly untrustworthy answers.

There is a document that Jay reads sandwiched between these two though, from 1/10/Year Redacted. It is a Brief Operative Progress Note, about a procedure seemingly in relation to an unmedical wound with a ton of redacted information, and based on placement and the fact "Hoody" purposefully arranged the papers like this, I believe he was trying to imply to Jay that this was a suicide attempt by Tim at the start of 1996, which led to his hospitalization.

-

Wow. Ok. That was a lot. Let's summarize and break down the facts though.

At the end of 1995, Tim Wright is being raised by his single mother, Janet Wright, with it being unclear if his dad was ever in the picture. Tim was probably in 3rd grade at the end of 1995, which puts him at around eight to nine years old. At this point, he seemingly had a history of seizures, but around this time he also started showing symptoms of depression, hallucinations and even supposedly "ran away" from home at one point.

It seems like Hoody, based on how he organized these papers, seems to want us to think that at the start of 1996, Tim had either a suicide attempt, or a violent episode that could've been misconstrued as a suicide attempt.

Note: Personally, I think it was misconstrued. I say this because well, we know how the Operator can warp reality, and in Entry 66 Tim says, "My mom [sent me inpatient] when I was really young, but she never told me exactly why," and that the doctors seemingly gossiped about the fact he had violent episodes and hallucinations which led to him being institutionalized, which he doesn't remember. Of course, maybe Tim was just lying to Jay and leaving stuff out, but based on the rest of this scene and everything else he says, I find that unlikely. I think it is possible that Masky tried to defend himself and Tim from the Operator and got hurt in the process, and due to his lack of verbality and strange/differing behavior from Tim's, it was interpreted as a violent and/or suicidal episode cause by a hallucination. Either way, none of this does align with the fact the wound is "clean," but that could be more about it not being infected and/or recent than a clean cut.

Either way, after this, in conjunction with advice from doctors and the stress of caring for a mentally ill child and hospital visits/bills, Janet Wright admitted Tim into inpatient care.

It is after this point, (based on dialogue from Entry 66,) that we know Tim sort of fell out with his mother, as she "wasn't really around" for him to ask things. I can't say why she distanced herself from him, and honestly that is where my sympathy runs dry for her, but we know based on what Tim doesn't say that he more or less didn't have any family. His mother was probably raising him on her own, and her decision to put him inpatient probably had to do with the fact she just couldn't care for him and genuinely thought it would be better/safer.

Ok. Cool. Unfortunately, still none of this answers the question as to why Tim is a system. Based on all this supplementary evidence though, I do have two kind of routes/ideas I could see as possible/likely which I want to share, so pick your poison.

A】 Janet Wright was neglectful, either by accident or on purpose.

Neglect can cause DID, especially severe emotional neglect causing a disruption in child development, and if Tim's dad was never in the picture, along with the stresses of being a single mom, it could be hard for Ms Wright to meet Tim's needs. Maybe she didn't even want to be a parent, but found out she was pregnant to late, and so decided to "give it a shot."

The real mold in the juice box for this theory though is the fact that Tim's medical records (Pediatric Admission Assessment, Page 2, 6. Abuse/Neglect/Exploitation Screen) answers no to "evidence of neglect by caretakers." Granted however, this is when Tim is in 3rd grade, and it can be hard to always pick up on emotional neglect. Perhaps it could be misconstrued as depressive symptoms for example, and Tim's issues with starting hobbies and connecting with peers could be due to him not being properly socially met/developed growing up, but honestly I am unsure how I fully feel about this theory.

What it comes down to is just that, besides knowing she smokes regularly, we don't know much about Janet Wright, and while she fell out of touch with Tim, that could be for literally any number of reasons. Demonizing her or deifying her both kind of make me grimace. Maybe she blames herself for his condition and her guilt drives her away, and after a while she felt it would be wrong of her to go back after abandoning Tim in the first place. Maybe she just never wanted a kid and took the option to ditch him. The point I am getting at is we just don't know.

Which is what brings me to theory two.

B】 Tim's dad was in some way abusive, causing Janet to leave him to protect Tim but leaving him with trauma.

It would explain why Tim's dad isn't in the picture in a way that feels concrete, and why Tim never tried to reach out to his dad's side along with why he has DID. Maybe too, if Janet was in an abusive relationship, that somehow got in the way of her reaching out to her side of the family, which is why Tim never did either and why she didn't have any help for raising him and dealing with his conditions.

I don't really have much to say on this one either, but it would explain why there isn't direct evidence of neglect along with why his mom isn't blamed for his depressive symptoms by the doctor and why Tim said in his Assessment that he relies on his mom for emotional support. That is because he does, but they were just unfortunately in a situation for a while where he couldn't properly get it.

Sure, she probably isn't perfect, but in this reading she does care for him, and did try to get him a better life.

I think this would especially make sense when you consider the fact that Masky, Tim's protector alter, has a feminine presentation.

Often alters formed in especially early youth will take heavy direct inspiration from their environment, especially parents. Maybe since Tim's mom did protect him some of the time and eventually got him away from his dad, this idea of her and by extension femininity as a whole being this unstoppable, almost deified force of nature stuck with him on a subconscious level. She was fierce and seemed impenetrable, especially to a little kid who idolizes their caregiver in the face of abuse, and I think that influenced why Tim's brain made a protector like Masky that is simultaneously feminine aligned out of the blue and so aligned with defending people/defensive violence.

Because yes, Masky is violent, and often they do threaten/attack Alex with "Hoody," but that could easily be because they remember the fact Alex attacked them in Entry 56/57 along with stuff like the fact "Hoody" most likely told them about how Alex killed him and needs to be taken care of. They know Alex is dangerous, and so a lot of their actions are protective or in an attempt to save other people.

Like, in Entry 35, their motives can be hard to read, yes, but if they just wanted to fight someone they could have easily gone for Jay instead of running past him to get Alex. I actually think they could've easily been waiting here because they knew Alex was following Jay and this was the last place Jay was, and they wanted to stop Alex from getting to him because he could (and literally does) try to kill Jay. Along with this incident, they stop Alex from shooting Jay and Jessica in Entry 52, and seemingly distract him while those two escape and drive away to safety. They also act to protect/save Jessica from the Operator and Alex with Hoody in Entry 76. They also seemingly only stop directly working with Hoody after he hurts Tim, i.e. causing him to have a seizure to trigger them out, which Masky seeming to sever their partnership over.

Listen, there's no answer as to why Masky is feminine, and maybe there doesn't need to be, but based on how DID works and Masky's general behavior, to me it is obvious that they took subconscious inspiration from something, and I think it could be how their mom protected them and Tim.

Note: This is not to say Masky and Tim have a maternal/parental relationship, even if Masky is partially based on their mom in an abstract sense. In my opinion, they have a relationship almost similar to like, how siblings will go through trauma together and be bonded by that fact because they wholly understand what the other person is going through, or how a slightly older child might try to take care of a younger one and be parent-ified but still while not holding the authority and control of a parent, though obviously different because they're a system. I guess my main point though is that they're equals, and Masky loves Tim very much. Masky does have some power over Tim because they cause amnesia when they front during traumatic episodes and accidentally puts him in danger sometimes, but ultimately they have a more push-pull relationship to me, even if Tim isn't aware of it. Because, even if Masky does front sometimes, Tim is usually the one in control almost all of the time. But really that's another post I could make lmao.

Either way, whatever way you think Tim got DID, one thing is clear. His life fucking sucks.

-

If you want my personal belief on what his childhood is like, taken with a bit of salt, I don't think Janet Wright is purely innocent, (she could've very easily been incidentally neglectful given the vagueness of the circumstances,) but I do think that Tim's dad could have been a shithead if only because of how it parallels my Alex headcanons and I like that, along with Masky being based on their mom aesthetically to some extent.

(As a system, I loveee system weirdness.)

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed.

[creator-chaos]

Shouma. My sweet summer child. My beautiful little monster boy. How did you get yourself into this situation? (Continued reflection on the divorce after my Hanto ramble. Thank you @necromanticzz!)

Well, the short answer is that Shouma is debilitating incapable of explaining himself, and it's probably because he thinks there isn't any explanation he can offer. Shouma thinks that he is a monster--a selfish monster.

One of the first things we see from him is agreeing that he's a monster, when the motw mocks him for the first little boy's mother's fear. Then Shouma justifies his presence with the fact that there are other monsters for him to stop.

We see a similar pattern after Shouma meets Dente, and then decides that he'll fight Stomach instead of running. Their selfishness is hurting humans, but Shouma can protect humans, so he has a justification to stay with them.

Shouma never approaches the human world as a place he belongs. We see from the flashback of his mother getting pressed that he'd been called a human by his siblings--that aside from his non-functional gavv, he was treated as basically a human. But he never calls himself human after leaving the granute world--once he can't be pressed, and he's around humans, he's a granute from that point forward.

Shouma is obviously a metaphor for multiracial human identity, feeling like he doesn't belong/qualify as any one thing by the standards of that culture. But how he's handled also reminds me of a trans/nonbinary narrative--specifically, the idea that trans people are treated by society as whichever gender would result in the most harm in the situation. Shouma very rarely even calls himself half-human/half-granute--he's just whatever doesn't belong where he is, neither instead of both.

Moving to his relationship with Hanto, the key factor in Shouma deciding that he doesn't have to keep his distance from everyone, and can go back to be with Sachika, is Hanto declaring that he (as a Kamen Rider) isn't a monster. God, it's amazing how Shouma is in the suit, but the acting still manages to portray that he is just bowled over by getting to be seen as a hero, not a monster. He fell in love with Hanto here.

Then, as Shouma spends time with Sachika and Hanto (especially after the Rider identity reveals), we see how afraid he is of them finding out he's a granute. For Sachika, it seems to be a fear of revealing anything that would upset her, would interrupt her happiness (that he decides is his responsibility). For Hanto, it seems to ultimately be a fear of him deciding that Shouma is a monster.

And Shouma does also feel guilty about hiding his identity--he worries about how it can possibly work out--but it never even crosses his mind that explaining himself could have a good outcome. The issue of trust is clearer on Hanto's end, but it's also there for Shouma--he has no trust that anyone would accept him for what he is. It's not even a consideration that he could. To him, it's a choice between, "Should I keep up the lie so we can be happy together? Or should I stop being with them?"

And when I tell you that when Shouma calls himself selfish for wanting to keep up the lie, it absolutely gutted me. That's what he said about Stomach Inc! About them literally eating people! But just wanting to be happy, wanting to not be alone, is selfish to him, because he doesn't think he has any right to it. *wails*

And finally, when Glotta drops the bomb, his only response is to freeze. Even when it's just Lakia asking if he's related to them, Shouma can't reply. (I wonder if he's going to continue to let Lakia think he's all granute?) But he completely shuts down when Hanto confronts him.

Like, if he had been able to respond to Hanto asking if he's a granute by saying "half," that would have changed the entire interaction! It immediately makes clear Shouma's complicated situation and makes space for explanations. But he couldn't--he doesn't see himself as having any claim to humanity where Hanto is concerned. He's a human to granute, and he's a granute to humans, and he has to earn his place anywhere by making others happy enough to justify his presence.

*deep breath* MY BOY IS SO FUCKING LONELY!!! 😭 HIS AND HANTO'S TRAUMAS ARE SO PERFECTLY POSITIONED TO TRIGGER EACH OTHER'S!!! I LOVE GAVV!!!

(Side note, part of why I have so many thoughts on this is that it parallels another obsession, Mairimashita! Iruma-kun, with the compelling approach to belonging and concealed social identities, and especially with the presumption of "predator" and "victim" roles as part of identities.)

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Something something about us being shown Eddie developing his cooking skills before buck - that were shown Eddie being able to cook a full meal (and bake) before were shown Buck doing the same thing. And something something about that foreshadowing Eddie having his full feelings realisation before buck.

Eddie’s cooking skills are on display in 5x11 outside looking in when he cooks dinner for buck Chris and Taylor - and he’s baked cupcakes for desert as well.

But we don’t actually get shown buck cooking a full meal until the 6x01 lasagne. He’s only got as far as breakfast foods when he makes Maddie an omelet in 2x04 stuck but we don’t get shown him actively cooking again until he makes the lasagne.

After that its hit and miss on the cooking and baking front for buck - burnt lasagne in a 7 and I’m assuming his baking isnt that great in 8x07 by the way Chim has one bite and then pushes the loaf away before he masters the ziti, garlic bread etc in 807 and then later the scones in 8x08.

[puppppppppy]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[sakamoto-gays]

Talked about how much we miss Natsuki's earrings in the server, and natsushin inspiration suddenly hit me- i don't like publishing short things on ao3, so this one is for you tumblr (:

------

It’s while staring at Natsuki as he attently works on his weapons -a thing he’s been doing more and more these days, he has to regretfully admit- that Shin notices it.

“Didn’t you have earrings when we first met?”

The words slip out of his mouth before he can really think about them and he can’t help but feeling a bit embarrassed about it, but honestly he’s been wondering about it for a while.

Sure, it’s not like he had much time to look at the invisible guy while he was beating him up, during their first meeting at the lab, but Shin is pretty sure at the time he’d been wearing some sort of earrings - and he hadn’t seen them on since he’d met him again at JCC.

Natsuki hums in reply, eyes down to check the weapon he’s making.

“Mhm, yeah,” he mumbles, “i think i took them off for some reason and then forgot to put them on again.”

Typical of him, Shin muses with an annoyance that feels a lot more like fondness.

“Don’t you risk the holes closing up, or something?”

He isn’t an expert on the topic, but Hana wanted to get her ears pierced recently, so he feels like now he knows a thing or two about earrings too.

“Probably,” Natsuki shrugs like it’s not his business and he doesn’t really care at the moment, and Shin understands that he put an end to the conversation with that.

And he thought that would be the end of the topic, until a while later (after declaring defeat for the day in the always ongoing battle against his creations) Natsuki gets up from his seat and looks at him, his eyes gleaming with particular a light that makes Shin fear for his life.

“Should i go put my earrings on?”

Shin doesn’t understand why he asked it like that, like Natsuki’s playing a game he didn’t bother telling him about and he’s thrilled of being the only one that knows the rules, yet still he tries to reply.

“Uh, sure.” 

He hopes the words leaving his mouth don’t sound as stupid as they feel to his ears, and then Natsuki is gone - towards wherever he keeps his jewelry, Shin guesses.

So he is left to wonder, alone in the workshop, until a few minutes later the weaponsmith comes back.

On his lobes, where before there was nothing, now shine two small, black and round earrings.

“Well?” Natsuki asks, with a flat tone that sounds incredibly fake even without reading his mind.

“ ‘Well’ what?” Shin teases him with a grin, “You searching for flattery now?”

At those words Natsuki walks towards him, and suddenly he’s leaning down and his face is far too close to his own.

“You’re the one who brought the earrings up, so you should give an opinion now,” Natsuki hums low, in the most innocent tone a sly man like him can master.

And Shin really would like to reply with something witty and keep their playful exchange up for a bit more, but then he makes the mistake of actually looking at Natsuki for a second, and- oh.

Could a single, small detail like an earring change an entire face? 

Because as he suddenly catches his breath, Shin swears that Natsuki didn’t look so good before.

As he looks at him again, with those black curls falling on his slightly tired eyes and those lips barely parted and those ears pierced, apparently unable to look away, Shin can feel his face becoming hotter.

He gently pushes the other away, regaining some centimeters of distance between the two of them to actually let Shin breathe without the risk of exploding or something similar.

“They don’t look bad on you, i guess,” he huffs and then turns away, with the weird feeling of having just lost at some sort of secret game.

He doesn’t give Natsuki the satisfaction of turning back to see his subtle grin of victory, either.

'I should wear them more often, then,' Natsuki thinks knowing he will hear, because he always knows how to best get on his nerves.

“Just do what you want,” Shin groans.

But between himself, he can’t help but cheer a bit about that statement.

He could get used to seeing more of this version of him, afterall.

[chaossery]

Some thoughts regarding chapter 419

I needed some time to stomach the revelations of chapter 419, but now that that’s done I think the story’s been building up to that moment for a very long time. It’s an extremely painful chapter to read, but, in my opinion, it had to happen. I’ll try to explain why I think so.

Tomura’s lack of/struggle with agency had always been a core theme of his character, perhaps even the central theme. However, I feel like this aspect of his character often got overlooked in favor of other aspects like his bond with the other members of the League of Villains, his development into a more competent and threatening villain, his issues with the shortcomings of BNHA’s society in general and heroes in particular, etc. Well and then, chapter 419 happened and brought this core theme to the forefront with a vengeance, pretty much overshadowing everything else. (It was really kind of a… challenging read.)

Personally, I think this chapter’s purpose is neither to make Tomura more redeemable nor to let Nana and Kotarou off the hook for the decisions they made. I doubt that people who were against Tomura’s redemption before chapter 419 dropped, are on board with it now. And I can’t really imagine Horikoshi expecting them to change their minds with this reveal. (He would have to be beyond naive to believe that.)

The decisions, Nana made, were entirely her own – chapter 419 changed nothing about that. And regarding Kotarou: Just because a cherished friend gives you parenting advice, you’re not obliged to follow it. Especially, since All For One didn’t even tell Kotarou to be strict with Tenko, he merely encouraged his strict ways. He encouraged what was already there. He used what was already there to his advantage. This chapter may bring Tomura’s agency into question, but it certainly doesn’t do so with Kotarou’s.

(Furthermore, I don’t see anything in the story that indicates All For One as the cause of all of society’s flaws. He merely knows how to use these flaws to his advantage. He threw quite some bombshells at Tomura and us in this chapter, but he never mentioned having anything to do with all those civilians ignoring little Tenko in his hour of need. If he were also behind that, why wasn’t he bragging about that as well? Now would be the perfect time.)

So, what is the purpose of this chapter, of All For One’s revelations? I think it’s to finally shatter Tomura’s illusion of agency. It’s to pull the rug out from under his feet and push him into the deepest depths of despair. At its core, Tomura’s story is a tragedy in its purest form (or at least it has been up to now) and chapter 419 marks the lowest point.

In chapter 379, Tomura is able to one-up All For One and regain control over his body for a while. He manages to do so by clinging to his origin as Tenko Shimura. At this point, he is already aware (at least to some degree) that All For One has groomed him since picking him up after the Shimura tragedy. He knew that “Tomura Shigaraki” was All For One’s creation. But at least he still has “Tenko Shimura”. “Tomura Shigaraki’s” decisions may belong to All For One, but “Tenko Shimura’s” decisions are his own. Or so he thought.

“Tenko Shimura” was his final weapon against All For One, the shield protecting him from getting completely overtaken by his abuser. And also the life ring he was clinging to to keep himself from sinking into despair. But now, All For One has destroyed that, too, and Tomura has nothing left to hold onto.

“Tenko Shimura” is All For One’s creation as well. “Tenko Shimura’s” decisions belong to All For One as well. All that is “Tenko Shimura/Tomura Shigaraki”, all that ever was, all that ever will be, belongs to All For One. “Tenko Shimura/Tomura Shigaraki” is not his own person. He is nothing more than a tragic figure in the story All For One is writing. Or so All For One wants him to think.

What I believe All For One has done in this chapter is to destroy Tomura’s illusion of “I have control over my life and the decisions I make” by setting up a new illusion for Tomura: “I have and never had any control over my life and my decisions whatsoever”. He pushed Tomura out of one extreme narrative straight into the next one. Both of which are at odds with the truth, however.

When dealing with All For One, we mustn’t forget that he is a liar and a manipulator, a groomer and an abuser. (In fact, he is so good, that he can even manipulate the fourth wall and make the BNHA fandom believe every little thing he says.) Naturally, he’ll always tell his victims what makes it easiest for him to manipulate them, be it lies, the truth, or a little bit of both.

Thus we should be careful to take his words at face value. He is definitely exaggerating when he claims that all of Tomura Shigaraki’s/Tenko Shimura’s decisions actually belong to him, his abuser. One example: Does anyone really think it was All For One’s decision that Tomura cares for the other members of the League? That he grew to genuinely trust Himiko, Twice, and even notorious anti-team-player #1 Dabi? Befriended Spinner? Fed Mr. Compress all the sushi he wanted? Decisions like these go completely against All For One’s modus operandi.

For me, the key to growing to appreciate this chapter and its revelations was to bring together all these extremes regarding Tomura’s struggle with agency, Tomura’s flawed perception of himself, other character’s flawed perceptions of Tomura, All For One’s exaggerated claims about Tomura and well… I guess to kinda conciliate them with each other. Tomura was groomed by All For One and thus has struggled with agency. He made many decisions All For One groomed him to make. But he also made decisions of his own.

Tomura is not a transcendent being. He is not a god. He is not destruction incarnated. He is not the angel of death. He is not an innocent little baby boy (not with a kill count like that). He is not a character in All For One’s story.

He is a victim but not just that. He is a villain but not just that. He is a hero to some but not just that.

In fact, I think the story (namely chapter 411, courtesy of Izuku Midoriya) already gave us the perfect term for what Tomura Shigaraki/Tenko Shimura truly is: a human being, nothing more, nothing less.

And I guess the key to giving this story a happy ending is to convince Tomura of that as well; that he is a human being whose first 21 years were shaped by All For One’s toxic influence, yes, but there is also a future for him without All For One. Where he can truly be free, make his own decisions, and grow into his own.

[burningcomputerpersona]

ahhhhhhhh guess who made the mistake of getting a haircut

[thedreadvampy]

sorry I'm on one now. Narnia is one of my Big Rant triggers.

but like. I would be lying if I said I didn't love Narnia

(everything except the Horse and His Boy, which a) even as a tiny kid made me uncomfortable with how fucking racist it is (literally there is ONE. ONE. character of colour who isn't evil, selfish, greedy and violent. even when you're 5 and white and don't really understand racism it's like. sorry there are just no nice people in this whole country? and every Narnian is lovely?) and b) is just fucking DULL partly bc of the 2 dimensional racist caricatures populating the world)

but I can't pretend for a second that it isn't specifically built around a Christian theology that's explicitly racist, hierarchical, supremacist, colonialist and The Bits I Like Least Of Anglicanism

and my FAVOURITE books in the series (except the Silver Chair which tbh is WAY less theological and way more mythology-nerd) are the first and last, which are by far the most explicitly Christian. even more so than TLTWATW.

and I can just about stand by the Magician's Nephew bc it's mostly just a mix of Christian creation myth and CS Lewis's sci fi interests in the esoteric and multiverses and it honestly feels fine. but my all time favourite most iconic Narnia book is The Last Battle and I just. cannot. justify it for a second from a political or philosophical standpoint.

it's got it all bc it's the book where Lewis is like ok hold up let me lay out explicitly what my theology is. and what he thinks it's important to say is:

Almost all Muslims are bad and evil

They worship Satan by doing Bad Evil Deeds to please him

There are a couple of Good Muslims who do good deeds. they need to be brought to the light, understand that the voice calling them to do good deeds is the Christian god, and they too can achieve the kingdom of heaven

Some people will use Christianity as a mask for exploitation and mistreatment. They are bad and their faith is false (ok fine)

...and they're doing that because they're CONSPIRING WITH THE EVIL MUSLIMS TO OPPRESS GOOD CHRISTIANS

...and THAT'S THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD TELL YOU THAT GOD AND ALLAH ARE DIFFERENT NAMES FOR THE SAME GOD. because they're either conning you or because they've been misled and can't really think for themselves.

DID I MENTION. THAT MUSLIMS ARE EVIL AND TRYING TO BRING DOWN CHRISTIANS.

and other than the GOD AREN'T MUSLIMS JUST THE WORST of it all, he also goes back over to more fully explain several points he's made throughout the series, such as:

white Christian public school kids are the god ordained leaders of the world and attempts to think otherwise are heretical

god places people where they need to be to serve his purpose

free will is largely an illusion - your only choice is faith or chaos, and as a godly person your actions are preordained

the problem is though. he's kind of a really good character writer? and in The Last Battle he pulls out most of his best classics (hi Reepicheep! hi Frank! hi Jill!) and gives us a whole wealth of really fun new characters (Tirian and Jewel, Emeth, Puzzle, Shift, Griffle and Ginger are all just SO FUN) and it's such a solid adventure. for me it's hands down the most FUN Narnia to read and an effective and affecting end to the series.

but like. god its unjustifiably fucked philosophy is baked into every single character and event. it's so hard to ignore. it's my favourite book in the series. it's the book that makes me angriest. it's everything right with Narnia and everything wrong with Narnia. I like it cause it asks me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy and I hate it cause it requires me to engage critically with Lewis' philosophy.

in conclusion, Narnia is a land of contrasts. also occasionally brownface.

[moe-broey]

Developing Moe is so fucking funny like. Okay so from the young age of Child (ambiguous) you've been obsessed with porcelain dolls and angels. You would collect these things whenever the opportunity arose (which may not have been often, but hey), extremely autistically. Much later on, you got into making doll customs out of (insert fashion doll toyline here), and your "trademark" so to speak is creating monster girls/boys/(and mores!). You have a shit ton of junked been through the wringer "blank" dolls, sometimes in pieces, waiting to be reborn anew. None of this is relevant to the fact that you got isekai'd into Fire Emblem Heroes as the Summoner, but it does open the way to psychological horror in fucked up dream realms and transgender metaphors. Godspeed, you funky little freak 🫡 Alfonse and Sharena both adore you 😊👍

[chilapis]

saw a contract be referred to as a “contractual adventure” & started giggling.

[presumenothing]

.

[waugh-bao]

*

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Pixar did not have to go as hard as they did with the Kronos Unveiled scene in The Incredibles (2004), yet they did anyway and gave us one of the best scenes in modern cinema. Literally cannot stop thinking about how good this scene is, from the animation to the build up to the soundtrack.

I don’t think I truly understood how dark this scene - and this film - was a child: Syndrome is systematically and strategically luring in superheroes and killing them off in order to test and improve his Omnidroid design… these people were not only supers but they also had family and loved ones too, just like Bob, and one day they would have just disappeared because chances are they weren’t telling people where they were going because it was "top secret" and against the law. They thought they were doing something good, like helping the people in the island, while also getting to relive their glory days, perhaps even paving the way for superheroes to make a proper comeback… only for Syndrome to kill them in cold blood.

Most of these people can actually be seen at Bob and Helen’s wedding in the beginning of the film - they weren’t just random supers, they were their friends, people they worked alongside and cared about. It’s even worse when you realise that Bob probably blames himself because, after all, Buddy/Syndrome was his biggest fan and he dismissed him by not letting him help.

The relief on Bob’s face when he realises Syndrome doesn’t know where Helen is - meaning he also doesn’t know where their children are because he didn’t realise they were married at this point - is so realistic and gut wrenching to see. The relief contrasting with the anguish of knowing how much danger they and their entire family could have been in the entire time without even knowing...it's so well-done, you can literally feel it.

It’s also worth noting that originally the next target wasn’t Mr Incredible but Frozone - that was who Mirage was trailing, hence why his location is “known”. Imagine if she/Syndrome hadn’t realised that Mr Incredible was with him and they’d lured Frozone in instead as planned; he would have gone to the island to fight the Omnidroid 8 in a volcano setting. We saw how being in the burning building dehydrated Frozone and made it impossible to use his ice powers - presumably it would have been the same in the middle of a lava filled volcano, and he’d have been slaughtered just like the other superheroes before him.

This scene shows an entire generation of superheroes - Bob, Helen and Lucius’ generation - wiped out all because Syndrome felt slighted by his hero as a child, because he internalised that slight and let it drive him to revenge. And, if we take into account the deleted alternate opening scene, it’s mentioned that superheroes "aren't supposed to breed” - meaning there’s a likelihood that Violet, Dash and Jack-Jack are among the very few supers of the next generation. I know that it's deleted and so not really canon, but it's definitely a concept to consider, I think.

Then there's the fact Syndrome named the project "Kronos" - Kronos was a God who overthrew his own father in order to take over his rule, and then he ate his own children to prevent them doing the same thing to him. It feels like it reflects Syndrome once looking up to Mr Incredible and even saying "I could be your ward!", meaning Mr Incredible adopting or fostering him - the project name is a metaphor for Syndrome destroying the Supers, especially Mr Incredible, who he viewed as a father figure. The Omnidroids he built killed two birds with one stone: not only was he able to acquire the data to upgrade the robot to its final design, but it also eliminated the real super heroes and so left him as the last remaining "superhero", even though his powers are man-made, not something he was born with.

Not only did he want to become the only remaining superhero by killing the real ones in revenge, he also planned to sell his inventions at some point so everyone can be super - because "when everyone is super, nobody is". It's like a final blow to the memory of the superheroes he had killed.

I've talked too much about this scene but God... I love it so much more as an adult because it's just so chilling to think about. I'm sure other people can put it much more articulately than I just tried to, but I just really wanted to appreciate this scene.

[catsaurofmagiccomedy]

I runned out of tags,, i will compile all of this and reblog it as text, i guess

Please put your logic in the tags I’m genuinely interested in this cause I’ve seen a few good takes already, even if I think something different.

Please remember that avatar and victim are two different things and while there are certainly overlaps in some instances mostly an avatar is a manifestation of a power that gains energy from feeding off of victims of the power that they belong to. They can still suffer from a power, but they aren’t it’s main prey, more of a mouth piece. Or living snare.