#it works out eventually ofc. I am nothing if not a sucker for a happy ending and fluff

[krystaldeath]

Not me making a whole new cotl (mainly narilamb) high school au and not it being based off of Detention by School Gyrls-

[glitch-karma]

Hi there! If requests are still opened, i'd love to make one :o (although it's a bit lengthy, so if you don't want to do it I understand!!)

TW for s**cide mentions from here forward btw! (common with any dazai fic, lolz)

I'd love to request a dazai x reader (fem or gn will work!) where he asks reader to commit double suicide with him, and to literally everyone's shock, they agree! So the agency (mainly kunikida and atsushi) have to repeatedly sabatoge their attempts, and during that time, the two start to get to know eachother better and grow closer whilst they aren't plotting their own demises. Eventually dazai starts to fall for them, but one day reader tries to attempt on their own life solo due to being unable to handle the pains and pressures of life anymore. Ofc they were rescued just in time, but it made him realize that he wants to see reader safe and happy, and that he had finally found his reason to live through his love for them. Extra points if he confesses his love at some point and reader accepts!!

Sorry if this was rant-y, i'm a huge sucker for angst to comfort :P either way tho, i hope you have a lovely rest of your day/night!

THIS RIGHT HERE IS A BEAUTIFUL STORY OH MY!!!!

-F!Y/n

-Y/n is a new worker at the Cafe under the ADA

-MAJOR SUICIDE WARNING!! (Including but not limited to: Blood, pills, self-harm, etc..) I am a sucker for graphic detail so you have been warned

-Also warning for puke

-Reader is kinda based off of Mafuyu from Project Sekai cause I said so (Btw pjsk simps gonna open up reqs for them when they become open again‼️)

-also reader has dull eyes cause anime logic

I did probably a concerning amount of research on suicide, (Plus looked for so long for Dazai's stupid lil book) for this so I hope you enjoy!

_____

Break time at the Armed detective agency usually means having some coffee at their favorite cafe. As the group sat down Dazai was glancing around when his eyes caught the sight of the new waitress waiting next to a barista Dazai frequently flirted with. The girl had semi-messy h/c colored hair, her eyes a dull e/c. Her features framed her face so beautifully. Dazai's mouth curled into a smirk as he stared at her. Kunikida caught wind and immediately irked. "Dazai.."

As the waitress approached the table, Dazai read the name stage reading "Y/n". He smiled as she stopped at their table. Before she could get a word out Dazai grabbed her hand in his. "Such soft hands.. And beautiful eyes as well. Would you, Belladona, do me the honors of accompanying me to a double suicide?"

WHACK

Dazai was now lying on the floor, as Kunikida brushed himself off. "I'm so sorry Ma'am, he's always like this-" Atsushi apologized as Y/n leaned down to the man on the floor. "I'd gladly join a double suicide." She smiled down at him.

. . .

"WHAT!?!"

"Really!?!" Dazai yelled as he stood up, grabbing Y/n's hand again. Y/n chuckled as she nodded at him. "I get off at 6. You work in this building correct? I'll meet you on the roof." "Yes yes, that sounds wonderful~!"

Everyone at the table stared shell-shocked as Y/n takes their order normally like nothing just happened. As dazai kicked his legs in his own little world, Kunikida Atsushi and Junichiro all stared at each other in concern. Kunikida pulled them behind a menu quickly.

"As much as I'd love to let that dimwitt meet his end, we need him and that girl to stay alive. It isn't right letting a young lady with so much life in her die with that blasted Dazai." Kunikida sighed. Atsushi and Junichiro nodded in sync.

"Once Dazai leaves to meet her we should follow them," Atsushi whispered. Junichiro hummed in agreement. "It's decided then." Junichiro finished. The three quickly separated from the menu as Y/n walked over and set down their drinks. As she walked away dazai starstruck-ingly called out; "See you tonight Madameeee~". Y/n peeked over her shoulder, smiling at him. Dazai felt his heart flutter a bit at those beautifully dull eyes.. They seemed to draw him in for more.

...

As Dazai whipped open the doors to the building roof, he caught sight of the lady ready to accompany him with his final dance. Her hair was gently blowing in the warm Yokohama breeze as she stared off into the sky. What was she looking at? Dazai didn't know. But her eyes looked so sickeningly dull in that moment. But still, so beautiful..

"I'm pleasantly surprised to see you here! I was concerned you agreed simply to make me leave you alone." The dark-eyed man said, leaning next to her. "I'd never joke about suicide. Such a beautiful ending to a sick existence." Y/n spoke lowly. In the cafe, she had a sort of customer voice, but there was no trace of it here. Dazai smirked a bit at this.

"I should let you know now, I'm not interested in pain. I don't know exactly what you're into though.." Dazai teased her. "Pain is not something I'm looking for either. Just a quick ending."

Dazai chuckled, quickly whipping out his little red book. "Suffocation, Hanging, Poisoning, Shooting, Jumping," He read off as Y/n stared at him. Only blinking in response. "All the ideas you could storm up are right here in this very book."

"Ah! What a glorious book,, if I wasn't planning on dying I'd buy a copy.." Y/n smiled lightly. "But.." she continued, grabbing the book and shutting it quickly. "I'd like to try jumping first."

With a quick grab of Dazai's shirt, the two were suddenly falling off the roof of the building. Y/n shut her eyes, waiting for the end of it all.

Poof.

The two landed on a bunch of garbage bags stacked up on each other. Y/n quickly sat up in disappointment as Dazai lay on the ground is fear and confusion. "Dang."

Dazai suddenly bursted into laughter. Y/n hummed, turning to him. "What's so funny?" Dazai wiped a tear from his eye as he sat up too. "You're the most forward suicidal girl I've ever met, my dear Y/n." He chuckled. Y/n blushed lightly before standing up.

"No matter.. We'll try again. Tomorrow. You can choose the method." She smiled at him. Dazai chuckled as he stood, lending her a hand up as he did so. "It's a date." He joked.

. .

"GAHHHH I THOUGHT WE WEREN'T GONNA MAKE IT." "Oh be quiet Atsushi, my Ideals were almost perfect."

There were the secret team, two sweaty messes, and one writing vigorously in his notebook. The three had watched Dazai enter the roof before running down to prepare in case they jumped, finishing just before they did.

"This might be a long couple of days.." Junichiro said quietly.

...

Day 2

"Oiiiii! Y/n dear!" Dazai yelled as he entered the roof. "Ah, hello Dazai." the girl lightly smiled. "What will we be doing today?"

Time after time,

Day 3

"Oh, Y/n you're here late! Well? Shall we begin?"

Attempt after attempt,

Week 3

"Dazai! Hurry we'll miss the train!" "Yes yes, my dear!"

The two met almost every day.

Month 2

The two had been testing the faith of this world as they attempted suicide again and again. Slowly, Dazai started to see something he hadn't before. Something fluttered in his chest..

The way she gets so distracted, the way she turned to yell at him when he took a joke too far, the way her nose scrunched up in such a way, those eyes.. Those beautifully dull eyes.

What was this feeling in Dazai's chest?

As Dazai thought intensely at his desk the others in the office grew worried. "What's up with Dazai today?" Atsushi mumbled. "I'm not sure.. I've never seen him think this much before."

"It's so clear what his problem is." Ranpo mumbled as he sucked on a loli. Dazai's head shot up immediately. "You know what this feeling is in my chest!? Please, explain Ranpo! Have I been poisoned? Is it fatal? Will I finally die? I can't die without Y/n."

Ranpo sighed as he bit off the lollipop. "No nothing of the sort, you're simply in love with that cafe waitress."

...

"Did he really just say that in front of us all!?"

Everyone at the agency thought in shock. Dazai's eyes were wide as he stared at Ranpo. His cheeks were flushed as he pondered the idea. The great Dazai? In love?

"This feeling in my chest.." He thought in shock. "That's a heart by the way," Ranpo smirked at the flustered Dazai. Dazai looked down for a moment, before springing up. He slammed his fist down loudly."This is..."

"Truly wonderful!!"

Dazai yelled as he pranced around the office. The majority of the group stared in dismay as he did so. "Ah, how perfect! I'm in love with the person I plan to meet my end with! We can plan a lovelier more passionate suicide now! How beautiful!"

"I should go confess right away! We can begin planning for our end together!" Dazai screamed with giddy as he threw his jacket on quickly. Ranpo's eyes scrunched together lightly as he thought. "You should go quickly, Dazai." He said as Dazai flung open the door.

"Will do!" Dazai yelled, running down the stairs to the cafe. As he opened the doors, he inhaled the lovely aroma of coffee before calling out. "Y/n my dear! I need to tell you something import-"

To Dazai's dismay, Y/n was nowhere to be seen in the cafe. He blinked a few times before walking towards one of the other workers. "Is Y/n here?" He asked with a hand covering his face.

"Ah, I'm sorry Dazai she didn't come in for her shift this morning.." The barista explained. Dazai's head popped up in surprise. "Uh, really?"

"Mhm, She didn't call in either. It's unlike her. She usually at least gives a call if she's gonna be late." The girl explained. Dazai's eyes furrowed as he thought.

"You should go quickly, Dazai."

Dazai's eyes shot open as he stared at the ground for a moment. "No.."

"Uh, Dazai?" The barista asked him. Dazai turned quickly, running out of the cafe in a hurry. His breath grew ragged as he ran quickly. He stopped in front of a familiar apartment complex to breathe. He then quickly ran in, ignoring the calls from a front desk worker. He sprinted and sprinted as he burst into Y/n's bedroom. "Y/n!" He screamed.

His eyes quickly scanned the room, finding it neatly tidied instead of the mess it was when he first visited her here. He then noticed the bathroom door shut tightly, while steam lightly flowed out of it. He ran to the door, trying the handle only to find it locked.

"Y/n!" He yelled, banging on the door. No answer. Dazai backed up quickly, before slamming his shoulder into the door, causing it to fly off its hinges. He looked up from the floor, seeing the sight he wanted to stop.

(Last major TW before we continue.)

Y/n laid in the bathtub fully clothed. The water from the faucet flowed continually, causing the room to fill with steam. A bottle of some unmarked pills laid on the bathroom floor, followed by a knife of which she'd used to make her wrist bleed. The fresh red liquid had been used to fill a small vile next to her.

Dazai quickly stood up, stopping the water before reaching his hands into the hot water. He wrapped his arms around Y/n's figure, lifting her up into his arms before placing her on the floor gently. He quickly ran to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a cotton swab and a roll of bandages.

He ran back to her fast, checking her pulse before sticking the cotton swab deep into her throat repeatedly until a steady stream of fresh puke left her lips. He pulled her into his arms as she came to, putting pressure on her wrist. Y/n's head felt fuzzy as she looked up at him. "Dazai.."

"Ah, you're conscious. Please stay awake, and don't move too much." Dazai whispered lowly. Y/n's head fog cleared as she came to. Realizing she'd been saved.

"No.." She mumbled as hot tears began to form. She suddenly became enraged. "Why you of all people.." "Y/n?"

"I thought you understood.. I just want to disappear from this world. Don't you get it?"

"I want to save you. I want to live with you, even if it's only for a bit before we depart together. There's still so much I don't know about you. Y/n, I-"

"Stop it!!" Y/n screamed, kicking Dazai away. "Don't you dare say it! What can you do? You may save me for a bit, you may make me feel happy for a short while, but then what!? One day it won't work anymore! And I'll want to die again!"

She was shouting.

"That's why this is all too much! Just let me have a clean death alone! You're so selfish for even coming here and spouting that bull shit!"

Without even realizing it, Y/n was shouting.

"I'm tired..! I'm so tired of thinking there's hope! Tired of waiting, finding something close, then watching it disappear! I'll never find what I'm looking for! I'll... I'll never truly be saved! Don't you see Dazai!?"

Dazai's eyes stayed still as he watched the girl scream.

"I'm so tired.. So tired.! Don't let me despair anymore.. Just let me rot."

The silence in the room was sickening. No one dared move.

Until Dazai broke the silence by cackling. Y/n sniffled confused as she stared at him. "I just keep seeing new sides of you Y/n.. You really are sickeningly complicated." He smirked at her as he inched closer.

Dazai's lips suddenly slammed into Y/n's. The girl's eyes opened wide as she stared at him. After a few seconds, dazai pulled away, a small string of saliva trailing behind. He licked his lips lightly before speaking:

"You called me selfish for saving you.." Dazai spoke before leaning close to Y/n's ear. "But I'm an incredibly greedy man my dear.."

Y/n's face flushed more as Dazai grabbed her wrist, wrapping her wound up tightly. "Even if it takes me saving you a thousand times, I'll do it all over again. So we can have the perfect suicide together."

Y/n breathes in shakily as Dazai kisses her hand gently.

"So, let's try this again. Y/n, my dear. I'm in love with you. Will you join me, in living and dying in this life?"

Dazai's words brought more tears into Y/n's eyes as she nodded lightly.

"Yes."

-Fin-

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

some soft!bakugou brainrot for the soul:

-he likes when you greet him in the morning. will absolutely roll his eyes and say sum “jesus, idiot, it’s too fuckin’ early for pathetic enthusiam like that” but will also simultaneously get pouty if u dont say hi to him first

-very much a quiet boy when it’s late at night. will just sit back with his eyes half-lidded and head in his hands, giving a little “mhm” to everything you say. you think he’s not listening but when you don’t finish a thought he will, without missing a beat go “the hell? really? gonna talk that much and then not even finish the story?”

-will cook meals that you like but will insist that he likes them too. bakugou is 100% trying to convince you that he made it for himself but the entire extra portion with your favorite toppings implies the opposite

-pays attention to what you’re doing in training, and will not outright tell you if you’re doing well,, but when ur alone he’ll just sorta “you looked less pathetic than last time, dumbass” with a slight smirk as he brushes past you

-likes to bicker,, i mean come on, obviously, but what i mean is that he just looks so weirdly happy when u yell at him (def goes heart eyes but literally do not say a word about it pls)

-goes very soft for hand massages,,, just like, ground ur thumb into the heel of his hand and rub at his knuckles. man’s will melt into wherever he’s sitting and close his eyes

-will absolutely bite your head off if you’re reckless, but then spend the rest of his time trying to think of ways to avoid u ever being in that much danger again

-remembers places you’ve been together very clearly. so like, if y’all wanna revisit some restaurant, bakugou is leading the way and ur just like “??? that was 6 months ago how do u know where you’re going” ,, n he just scoffs and “because i’m the best. now shut up and pay attention we’re about to cross the street”

-is very soft about u wearing his clothes but only when no one else is around to see it. idk contrary to popular belief i actually see him being very flustered by the sight of u in his clothes. so he won’t let u wear anything around others rlly, but when it’s just him??? poor bby is so soft for it. like, v much hiding his red face in your neck and just breathing u in type of soft

-has a specific blanket that he keeps for when u hang out. eventually it starts to smell like you, bc obviously, n he’ll cuddle up with it when you can’t be with him

-adores when you sing to him. 100% doesn’t matter if you’re good or not,, bakugou just likes that you don’t do it in front of anyone else

-likes when you get needlessly angry with him. idk how to explain it,, but just like, if he’s bitching at one of his friends and you back him up, purely bc u like the chaos, bakugou will be totally 🥰 over it. only after he’s done yelling tho

-mans has a thing for praise. he does. we been knew. but he rlly has an even bigger thing for mundane praise, like rlly small things like, “wow your handwriting is so neat” or “omg your room is so clean! you’re so organized!”,,, jus tiny stuff in passing that let’s him kno he’s doing good

-will absolutely not admit it but he 100% prays for lint on his uniform so you’ll brush it off for him. it’s like, a tiny little touch, just enough to sate him, but not so much that it feels like embarrassing pda

-is a sucker for someone he can just sit in silence with. like idk, if y’all noticed it, but he literally has like, nothing to say when he’s not bitching, so if he’s not angry he’ll just be quiet. if u can be quiet with him, in the same space but not talking, bakugou is a very happy boy about it

-he likes to know things about you no one else does,, so if u tell him anything in confidence, literally anything, he’ll keep it secret. 100% every time, no exceptions, will never spill a single detail even if someone is begging him to

-probably demands that u say u love him multiple times before y’all go to sleep. its the only affection he outright asks for so u give in every time

-shares whatever he has with u. just wordlessly will hand u a piece of whatever he’s eating. doesn’t warn u if it’s spicy tho,, bc he’s still a little shit

-sort of just follows you wherever you’re going. like, if u tell him u want to be alone he’ll leave, but otherwise he just kinda assumes he’s meant to follow. most times he’s right

-he is 100% the type to know something is wrong without u having to say it. he prob knows exactly what it is too. lmao like, sure, he’s still totally clueless on how to approach/support you but bakugou is the furthest thing from dumb. he knows,, he just does.

-gets super protective about your things. like, god forbid somebody try to write anything in ur notebook while you’re not paying attention,, bakugou’ll threaten them before their pen even touches the paper

-he likes to tend to your injuries. like, even the rlly minor ones. like, let’s say u get a papercut??? pls mans is grabbing your finger, running it under water, and wrapping a bandaid around it before u even register it. he’ll grumble the whole time like “jesus, dumbass, can’t believe i have to do this.” but rlly he enjoys doing it bc it makes him feel important. like maybe he’s someone heroic to u

-if no one else is around, and there’s a lot of trust established, he’ll prob do whatever u tell him to. now ofc there’s gonna be a lot of complaining, bc it’s bakugou, but he’ll do it

-is a big fan of when you tell him he’s your favorite. pls the man is so see-through ahaha,, u could be like “omg! bakugou! you took out the trash without me asking?? that’s why you’re my favorite!” n all he walks away hearing is “they think im the best. i fucking am the best.”

-he likes to watch you do mundane things. like rlly little, every-day things like brushing your hair or tying your shoes. idk he just thinks your methodical movements are weirdly calming

-is a sucker for forehead kisses. like obvi, only when y’all are alone, but like, press a kiss to his hairline?? suddenly it’s rip angry bakugou, soft bakugou hrs only

-doesn’t rlly initiate touch that much,, but when he does mans is extremely petulant about it. like, if u decide u have something more pressing than him, bakugou is almost immeadiately going “that’s fucking stupid. what you’re doing. you should stop.” n then he’s just poking and prodding and needling at u until u fall into his arms

-shadows you at social gatherings. very guard-dog like from an outsider perspective, but rlly it’s just bc when katsuki says he doesn’t like anyone else, he means it. he’s sticking by you bc you truly are the only one he tolerates

-he secretly rlly likes when u fuss over him. like, when u ask him if he’s sore from training or if he has any injuries. bakugou will brush u off like the absolute bitch that he is, but secretly he’ll be so warm about it. he just likes that u care enough to ask

-he tries very hard to be gentle for u. ofc it pretty much never works bc it’s him, but he’ll still forever be reading romance manga n going “yeah, i bet they’d like that. gonna it do it way better though. im the fucking best, i can do it.”

ahahaaha me?? a bunch of bakugou thoughts?? never, idk what ur on about

[falling-chandeliers]

hs au where wu is the president of the theatre club/the lead in every show and mako is this goth kid that somehow gets cast as the lead for wu's last show as a senior and wu LOSES it,,, enemies to lovers ofc

yes yes yes YES i am THRIVING

wu becomes mako’s understudy and he is. pissed. he is just pissed because goddamnit he’s always the lead who the FUCK does this kid thing he is oh my god

mako’s just trying to enjoy the club but everytime he says something that’s not his line this weird kid with brown hair from the back shuts him down,,, he thinks he’s the understudy?

this happens EVERY time. mako is just like “why me” at the beginning but sooner or later him and wu start fighting.

korra, who’s the female lead, and bolin who’s the main supporting character and also mako’s younger brother cmon bro i know you eventually force them to talk shit out bc yeah nope no none of that we need this to work

they begrudgingly talk through their differences after a 5 minute intense staring contest and even then wu is still kinda mad at mako

and then from there wu is more open to mako, mako starts taking some of his suggestions, wu gives mako some advice. they stay after school to go through a few scenes at the end and okay, maybe he’s pretty so what

they grow with each other and fall in love over time through stolen looks and lingering touches (bc who isn’t a sucker for those smh)

it all comes to an end on the first day of the show, tensions are running high, everyone’s nervous, mako is blushing furiously when he goes on stage bc wu squeezed his hand while looking him in the eye and giving him words of encouragement

at the end of the show, everyone’s so happy nothing messed up it was a great performance and mako just kinda,,, picks wu up and swings him around

when he puts him back down they’re in that kind of trance where they just realized what they’ve done but they’re still staring at each other and holy fuck is he leaning in? oh fuck, am i leaning in? oh look at that we’re both leaning in and they kiss. it’s nothing special. just a touch of their lips against each other. but they’re happy, they’re so happy, and they do it again and again and again until korra finally wolfwhistles from behind them with bolin whooping loudly

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

Unexpected Arrival

Sam Wilson x OFC

Word count: 6071

A/N: Commisson for the awesome @minimoose23 There will be a part 2!

Summary: Juniper Davis is coming from on military approved leave; the only thing is, she isn’t coming home alone. Now she has to introduce her friends to Kix Davis, her three month old son and one Avenger isn’t so happy.

The airplane was quiet, except for the sound of a man two rows up snoring; I felt bad for the people sitting next to him, but from my seat, the noise sounded soothing in an odd way. Leaning into the large seat, business class, courtesy of a certain Tony Stark, I cradled the little bundle of joy against my chest. He had turned three months a week ago and it was his first airplane ride, I was proud and deeply grateful that he had spent most of the trip sleeping. That was my boy, though. He was like his father, quiet and relaxed, and I was thankful for that, because God knew how stubborn and loud, I could be. Kix, he had his daddy’s personality, but he looked just like me; big brown eyes and soft brown hair, he was going to kill it with the ladies one day.

Sighing contently, my hand lifted to his head and stroked the top of it, smiling when he moved a bit from my touch. There was only two hours left before landing back into the great city of New York, where Tony  would be waiting; I had missed him, all of them – Sam, Steve, Natasha, Bruce, and even Clint, who always liked to annoy the hell out of me with the sailor talk. The last two years on Navy deployment had been tough without my friends and team, working as an information systems technician, but it was a job I loved. I signed up two years prior to this last deployment, even when I was not entirely sure I could handle the sea. Luckily, the ocean had nothing on me, and things had gone wildly perfect and fun, if I was being completely honest, I loved it. Then Nick Fury got in contact with me, had learned through the grapevine (not really sure how and never really wanted to know) that I was a pretty accomplished and gifted code breaker – it had not been something I intentionally  gotten into, it sort of fell into my lap and I went with it. I must have been good enough because Fury asked me to join SHIELD when I was not on active duty and that was when I met the Avengers.

A saucy group of individuals that I had no business being in the same room as, they fought aliens and avenged the World, I was in the Navy and worked mostly on a computer. For the first few months, I never even worked in the same building as the team, mostly working on intel solo missions doing code work and earning a nice little bank account while I was at it. Then I was called to the big leagues and joined the team on a mission in Germany; it was weird at first, being in a quin-jet with Captain America, but after a few hours it felt like I was back with my Navy crew and after that, things just got easier.

Eventually, I moved into the facility with everyone and it had made me feel normal – especially with Sam Wilson. The Falcon, as he was known, was extremely charming and snarky, but kind. He immediately had taken me under his wing, figuratively, and the two of us hit it off pretty well. We went to basketball games on our down time, binged watched a lot of Netflix, but mostly, we bonded on our common service time. He was military like me, and understood the life, the way it felt to be back home and around civilians. Sam often invited to me to go down to the VA with him and he became this link to my service life in this new Avenging world. If I was being truly honest, I had a major crush on him but knowing I would be going back to the Navy eventually, I just did not want that long distance relationship. I did not want to miss Sam more than needed and I did not want to make him wait around for me, because life was made to live, and I could not hold him back. So, I slowed my roll, pulled back a bit and made it clear I was ready to go back to duty and that was my main focused. I knew Sam would get it, he had to and that was it. Except, I still missed him.

“Hey Kix,” I whispered to my son, his eyes fluttering open as I shifted him in my arms. He was light and when he yawned, my heart soared; he was the best thing that happened to me and I was anxious to get home and to introduce him to everyone, to Sam. “Everyone is going to be so surprised to meet you, but I know they’re going to love you.”

It was true, no one knew except Fury, that Kix even existed. To be frank, I was surprised to see the pink positive sign on the pregnancy test a year ago. It was shocking and mind blowing, I think I even laughed a little – but that might have been more hysterics -induced laughter. Children were far from my mind, I was busy being a SHIELD agent, but it happened. It happened with Joel Holt, he worked IT with me; I had trained him when he first arrived, he was cute and funny. Sweet and kind, and one night, a collective day off, the two of us went to get a drink or two with a group of sailors from our rank. It was a rowdy night, everyone was letting lose after a week of a shit workload and the music was flowing, drinks never ending, and Joel was really, really hot in his blue jeans and black tee shirt. What can I say, I was a sucker that night. He had me from the moment he stared across the bar, his eyes meeting mine with this lightness that made my head dizzy and before I knew it, the two of us were walking back to the off-base apartment I shared with another female sailor. The sex was sloppy and frenzy, we laughed a lot and then it lasted no longer than an hour before Joel and I passed out smelling like booze. The next morning, I woke up to my alarm screaming at six in the morning, even though it was my day off. That was when I noticed a naked Joel in my bed; a month went by after the hook-up and neither of us wanted anything from it until I found out I was pregnant. We decided that being together was not an option, it wasn’t something we wanted and agreed that co-parenting would be best. Joel was with me when I reported to my rank officer that I was indeed pregnant, and we made a plan; I was to stay on duty until I reached my twentieth week in my pregnancy and after that I was to take a leave to wait to deliver. Joel had been every bit there for me and even held my hand during the delivery, but then he was to be deployed for a full year, and my leave was extended for a few more months after Kix was born, giving me time to make arrangements for when I would eventually go back. It was a lot to think about, but the first place I immediately thought of to go, was home.

“Uncle Tony’s going to pick us up from the airport,” I whispered to Kix, rocking him gently. He was staring at me, his little fingers grasping at the soft mint green blanket. It was a tough delivery but the two of us had made it through, Joel and I could not take our eyes off Kix. I watched Joel cry as he held his son for the first time and I knew we had made the right choice, he was going to be a wonderful father, but we were never meant to be together. “We’re going to ride in a fancy car, your first. Isn’t that awesome? Man, he’s going to love you, kiddo.”

….

And he did; Tony Stark was hardly shocked, but when he saw me walking out of the terminal with Kix in my arms, his jaw nearly touched the floor.

“June, tell me you didn’t steal that baby,” he asked, reaching an arm around my shoulder for a light hug as to not disturb the sleeping infant.

“This is my son, Tony,” I chastised him with a smile and pulled back the blanket to show Kix’s face. He was awake and alert as Tony whistled, touching the side of his face. “This is Kix, he’s happy to meet you. He would love a scholarship in his name for college.”

The Tony smirked and asked if he could hold him. I said yes and slowly handed over my son, watching as the man grinned and cooed at the little boy. “Wow, kid, you’ve been gone for two years and this is what the Navy has you doing?”

Laughing, I shrugged and leaned down to kiss Kix’s forehead. “Something like that. So, you know what I’m dying for?”

Barely taking his eyes off the baby, Tony looked over to me and smiled. “A burger?”

…..

I had two burgers while Tony held Kix, munching on fries himself as he cooed over the little boy; asking me a million questions concerning the pregnancy and whether I was going back to my duty, and if I was when and what my plan was for the baby. Most importantly, he asked who the father was and I just smiled.

“He’s a fellow sailor and that’s all I have to say about that.”

“Okay, Forrest Gump.”

He laughed then I did. “He’s a good man, Tony, that’s all anyone needs to know.”

Tony’s face relaxed and he smiled down at Kix, leaning forward to kiss him on the forehead. “I get it, privacy granted. The others are going to flip out, you do know this, right?”

The others.

Yeah, Tony was easier to deal with – he never prodded when it came to people’s personal lives, but there was Natasha and Sam, when those two wanted answers, they always found a way to get them. That was what you were afraid of, knowing they would hound to know who Joel was and why he wasn’t around, especially Sam.

“You worried about Wilson?”

“Why would I be worried about Sam?”

Tony’s eyebrow rose in judgement and I pretended to be invested in the shake in front of me, taking a long sip until it was emptied out, the noise of the straw sucking air making him wince a bit. He dramatically begged me to stop and I obeyed, falling back into my chair.

“Sam and I never really had anything,” I explained, throat drenched with thirst from the chocolatey shake. “So why am I anxious to see him? To know what he thinks about Kix?”

Tony gave out a sigh and again, gazed down at the baby; he looked good holding a kid and I wondered if Pepper knew this. I told him this and he grinned ear to ear.  “Wilson’s a big boy, it’s not like the two of you had this fifth-grade pinky promise to stay pure.”

“So, he’s been dating around?” He said yes and I felt relieved; we never really talked about taking our friendship to another level, but yeah, we both knew there was something there. But I was not thinking of him the night I slept with Joel and hadn’t for a while, so consumed with a newborn. I was happy to hear he was seeing people and having fun, he had every right to live his life while I lived mine.

“Oh, look,” Tony cooed to Kix, caressing his thumb against his little chin. “Mommy looks mighty jealous.”

Ignoring his poke, I asked for his cell – he handed over without a question and even posed when I snapped a photo of the pair. “What do you say we send this photo to Pepper and tell her you bought a baby?”

Tony’s eyes lit up in mischievous delight and he smiled. “Please do.”

…..

The living room  was rowdy, people calling dibs on various soft spots around the TV; Sam had two bowls of popcorn perched in each hand, declaring everyone to shut the hell up as he moved around Clint, who decided being on the floor provided the best view. Steve and Natasha sat next to each other on the couch, her back against his side as her feet stretched out to the other end of the sofa. Bucky was on the leather recliner, looking a bit sad but what was new? He did manage a smile when Sam handed over a bowl of popcorn, ordering him to share it with Clint, who crawled over to be closer to the recliner. Sam then took his place next to the couch, on the oversized and comfortable lean back lounger next to the couch. Steve held the remote in his hand and asked if everyone was ready to begin the binge watching of the new of Stranger Things. There was a collective answer of yes and the show began, and everyone settled down.

Sam’s body was in Heaven as he relaxed and took a handful of popcorn before passing it off to Steve, who then shared it with Natasha. He loved down time from missions and all the hero agenda, when everyone could just be normal for a while and zombie out on shows and food. It was nice but as he watched contently as few of the kids appeared on screen, Sam could not help but think of June. He often did that, when things got quiet around the facility; wonder how she was doing and when the noise in his head got too loud, he would email her. He knew, from what she had said, that she lived off base and it never failed – every time he emailed, she’d write back within hours. Except, lately, in the last few months, he hadn’t received much. Knowing first-hand how the military life went, Sam chalked it off to busyness. She would write eventually, a long email about what’s being going on and how her return date was coming soon. Sam thought of the plans the two of them had made; a few ball games with Steve and lots of drinking and bar hopping; plus, a little downtime to just to hang out. That’s what Sam was looking most forward to, being able to have June to himself and possibly feel the waters of taking things to another level. There was something there, had been since day one when June was introduced to the team; she was stubborn but playful as hell, could hold her own against Sam’s snarky personality. It was fun and he had been counting down the months for her return – June was due three months from now and he was excited to see her.

“Has anyone heard from Juniper?”

Sam’s eyes glanced over to Natasha, who was stuffing her mouth with popcorn, eyes glued to the television. She wondered out loud why she hadn’t emailed her back and Sam felt relieved to know he was not the only one not getting replies. Steve chimed in that she must be busy, and Clint scoffed and said how hard was it to send an email back. Getting a bit defensive by Barton’s remarks, Sam acknowledged that fact that June was fulfilling a service important to the country and that he should have some damn respect.

“Touchy, touchy,” Clint jokes. His head fell back down to the ground and he waved a hand in the air to apologize, then everyone settled down again, but Sam could only watch the show with a loud mind. He couldn’t focus and eventually excused himself, claiming he was not in the mood to watch – he promised to catch up but needed to go work out. No one protested, but as soon as he left the room, Natasha took a handful of popcorn and belted it at Clint.

“You had to go open your dumb mouth.”

“I forget how sensitive he is when it comes to June – she’s been gone for a long time.”

“She’ll be back in a few months,” Steve explained. He asked everyone to just keep the June talk down until then. “Sam misses her more than anyone of us, let’s not make it harder, got it?”

Clint threw a thumbs up in the air and the room got quiet again as the show went on.

….

The facility elevator was filled with shopping bags, among them a few of my own bags I had brought on the trip; Tony had insisted on stopping by the nearest baby store to pick things up for our stay at the facility. I had planned to stay only for two weeks and then take a flight to my folks’ home, where we would stay until I had to report for duty for my final deployment. My parents would care for Kix until I would come back, six months later, when my military contract ended– it was going to be hard, being away from my little boy, but that was how it had to be.

“Everyone’s going to lose their shit.”

I glanced over at Tony, who was carrying Kix in his car seat. “I hope they don’t mind a baby in their quarters, he’s much of a crier.”

“Who cares, let him scream his lungs out, they can deal with it.”

Smiling, I thanked him just as the elevator dinged opened to the hall that leads to the main living quarters for the Avengers. I looked down at all the bags and Tony said to leave them for now, waving his free hand to tell me to lead the way. I did grab my suitcase and backpack, which was filled with Kix’s diapers and such, before exiting the elevator. The two of us walked to the doors and Tony told me to open the door. I did and it felt like coming home again, I could remember all the times I would bring groceries in with Natasha, screaming for someone to help just so we could ditch the groceries for the ice cream we bought. We hated putting everything away and usually Sam was the one that came around, rolling his eyes but giving me two spoons and waving us out of the communal kitchen. He was a good roommate, they all were, although Clint was the messiest and it was funny to see Sam bitch and moan about it.

“FRIDAY, where are the degenerates?”

“Living room.”

We looked at each other and smiled, this time I told Tony to lead the way. I followed behind him, leaving my suitcase by the door but strapping on the backpack. As we drew closer to the living room and kitchen, I could hear the television on, and I felt a bit nervous as we approached – how would they all react to Kix? What would they say? What would Sam say? It was all happening fast but I calmed myself before we reached the living room, because these were my friends and I knew they would be excited to meet Kix.

Tony walked in first, announcing himself like the King he believed himself to be, everyone turning to say hi and double taking when they saw the baby in his arms. Clint was the first to jump up when he saw me lingering behind Tony. He shouted my name and smiled, moving around the coffee table and couch to give me a hug. He said he was glad to see me and gave me a tight squeeze before getting a look at the baby Tony was carrying. His eyes gazed down at him with a smile before looking over to me and gesturing to ask if that was my baby.

I nodded. “His name is Kix.”

That’s when everyone else had gotten up from their seats and came over, giving me hugs and kisses before turning their attention to my son. I was delighted to see how responsive they all were, Natasha being the first to ask to hold him. Tony, with a frown, gave the baby up and asked Bucky and Steve to retrieve the bags from the elevator.

“He bought out a baby store on the way here,” I explained, following Natasha as she moved back to the couch. She sat down carefully as I took up the space next to her, watching as she rocked Kix against her chest.

“You have a baby,” she said, and I laughed.

“It sorta just happened, but I’m glad it did.”

Natasha gave me a warm smile and held a handout to my shoulder. “I am too. Is this why you’re home so early?”

I answered yes, explaining about my approved leave and how I must be back in a few months for my last deployment. Her face fell and she looked sad for me, but I told her it was okay. It was only six months and then I would have the rest of my life to be with my son. She asked where Kix would be during that time and I said with my parents, which made her even sadder.

“My parents love you, Nat. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind you visiting.”

Pleased with that answer, her face lit up again and she said she could watch him if I was tired from the trip. I hadn’t felt tired until she said it and my body slouched against the couch cushions as I listened to her cooing over Kix and telling him she was Auntie Natasha while giving him kisses. It was sweet and I was happy to be home, but I hadn’t seen one face.

“Where’s Sam? Is he out on a mission?”

She said the gym and when I asked if she could watch Kix while I pop in to say hello, she practically shooed me away, her eyes glued to the baby. Laughing, I left and first went to find Steve and Bucky. I went back to the main doors and found Tony on his cell, he removed the phone from his ear and said Pepper got the photo. We laughed and I asked if he had seen the boys.

“They took your stuff to your old room.”

I nodded and left him to his call, hoping Pepper would consider having a baby with Tony, because that man would be an excellent one. Moving down the hall, I passed everyone’s room until I got to my old one – it was across from Sam’s but next to Nat’s and it was the last door to the right. The door was flung open and I poked my head in to see Steve and Bucky, arranging all the bags in one corner.

“Thanks, guys. It’s a lot, sorry.”

“Not a problem, these are the last of the things,” Steve said, walking over to me. He gave me a warm hug and told me it was nice to have me home. “Even with the new edition.”

“We could use another person on the team,” Bucky teased, and I grinned, as I let go of Steve.  Telling him maybe one day, I moved down to all the bags and started rummaging through all the things Tony had brought. It was enough to sustain Kix for a few months before taking to my parents. Bucky sat on the edge of the bed and watched as Steve said he’d go pick up some lunch for everyone. I watched as he left before asking Bucky to help me take everything out of the bags. He did, without saying much, but I saw a small smile on his face that said enough. We made several piles – one for clothing, bottles, diapers, toys, and other accessories.

“That’s a lot of stuff for one baby.”

“Tony went a little overboard.”

Bucky nodded and mentioned that Sam had missed me, and that’s when I remembered I left Kix with Natasha to find him. Laughing at my forgetfulness, it happened a lot when all I had on the brain was Kix.  I started to get up off the floor to go find him, when his forceful voice came belting down the hall. He shouted to whoever heard as to why my bedroom door was opened and when he reached the doorway, his eyes widened in surprise.

“June!”

“Sam!”

My face was bright and happy, stumbling over the bags and Bucky, to his open arms. Sam hugged me tightly and kissed my hair, asking why I was home. “I thought you weren’t due for a few more months. They finally got sick of you?”

Pulling from him, I shook my head and moved out of the way so he could look at what Bucky was doing; he was arranging a bountiful of onesies in a neat pile and Sam snorted, not connecting the dots. It had taken him a moment as his eyes roamed from item to item surrounding Bucky, whose brows scrunched in confusion at the breast pump in his hand. That’s when Sam gazed down at my stomach and noticed that it was a bit softer than last time, but even then, he wasn’t sure if I was expecting or had a baby. His questions were answered a few seconds later when Natasha came bouncing in, declaring that Kix needed a diaper change.

“Surprise,” I announced quietly, unsure of his reaction. “I had a baby, a little boy – Kix.”

“Like the cereal?” was all he could manage until I just laughed and asked Natasha to hand him over. She insisted she wanted to try her hand at diaper changing, even when I warned her that she had to be quick – joking about a golden shower. She grinned and asked Bucky to find her a diaper and wipes, which he did as Sam stood in front of me.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you; I didn’t tell anyone – well, except Fury.”

“You have a baby,” Sam said, and I nodded, giving him a smile. He finally returned the gesture and hugged me again, excusing himself. “I’m sweaty, I should go shower.”

“Oh, yeah, okay,” I nodded, feeling a bit disappointed. I guess I thought he would be happy, but he seemed distant. “Well, Steve went to get lunch, it should be back before you get out.”

Sam smiled and gave me another quick hug, but leaving the room, not even a glance at Kix. I waited until I heard his bedroom door open and closed, before turning to Bucky and Natasha. They both gave me sympathetic smiles and Natasha confessed she might need help. I grinned and told Bucky to observe.

“No one is escaping diaper duty.”

….

Only Sam escaped diaper duty, because he stayed far away from Kix and me; after that initial hello, I barely saw him over the next two weeks. At first, I figured he’d come around after a few days, that maybe it was weird having a baby at the facility, had to take some time getting used to. Then after a few days had gone by, and everyone else grew to love Kix in that short time, Sam was still acting aloof, and it hurt. He couldn’t even be in the same room as Kix without making an excuse to leave, the only time he even talked more than a few words to me was when Steve and Natasha had taken Kix out to the little pond near the facility for a walk in his stroller. Sam had walked into the kitchen to find me making lunch, he smiled and asked me to leave the stuff out.

“Making a famous Wilson sandwich?”

“You know it,” he laughed and then I laughed, because it was nice. He promptly told me to step aside as he took over the lunch making and I sat on the counter, watching and answering his questions about my deployment. I talked but noted that any time Kix came up, he changed the subject or asked if I wanted a certain item in my sandwich. I didn’t push the subject, but it was upsetting and later that night I found myself crying to Steve, asking him why Sam was being this way.

“It was obviously he liked you, right?”

“I know,” I cried, wiping tears. I hated feeling this way, because Sam had been my best friend but now, he could barely look me in the eye, let alone acknowledge my child. “But Kix is my son, and he’s just gonna have to swallow that pill. What was I supposed to do? Stay celibate?”

Steve laughed and said no, that Sam would have never asked that of me. “He knew that you didn’t want any type of relationship with anyone while you were serving, and maybe he’s hurt because you came home with a child.”

“But I’m not with Joel.” It was the first time I had said his name out loud to any of my friends, of course Natasha had prodded to know who Kix’s father was, but I stayed mummed. So there never was a real confirmation of Joel’s role in my life besides him having a parenting role. Sighing, I thanked Steve and decided that night, during dinner, I would answer all the questions anyone had.

…..

Everyone was seated at the table, Kix was sleeping in the bassinet Natasha had brought from my room and put it next to her. She was attached to say the least and it was nice, seeing that light in her eyes. I sat next to her and served her while she gave Kix his pacifier, it was Chinese night and there were to-go cartons being passed around. I laughed when Clint, who sat across from me, threw a fortune cookie at me and said maybe I’d have better luck next time finding a good man.

“Rude,” Natasha scolded but I flipped him off and laughed.

“Joel’s a great guy,” I declared, knowing what I was doing by name dropping his name. Sam, who was seated next to Clint, looked down at his plate before engaging in a conversation with Bucky and Steve. Natasha glanced over at me and smiled, saying she didn’t totally hate the name Joel and asking how we met.

“He’s an IT tech too.”

“So, he’s still on active duty?”

I said yes and explained that he sadly still had a year left on his contract with the military, but that he was excited to finish up and come see Kix. “He wants to relocate to New York; he’s going to buy a small place outside the city. I think he was talking about New Jersey, I’m not sure.”

I eyed Sam, who seemed to be listening but also pretending he wasn’t.

“New Jersey isn’t too far, you’ll still be close to us,” Clint shrugged, and I gave him a confused look, and he squinted his eyes. “Wait, you’re not moving to Jersey?”

“No.”  The noise around the table seemed to quiet down as I elaborated, saying that Joel and I were not together. Natasha asked why not, and I shrugged. “He’s going to be an amazing father, but I barely know him. “

“You had a baby with him,” Clint pointed out and I smirked.

“I mean, he was a good friend of mine and we get along great, but there wasn’t any real chemistry between us.” Again, Clint pushed the agenda that I had a baby with Joel, and I laughed, rolling my eyes. “It was a one-night stand, Barton.”

Natasha chuckled and leaned down to touch Kix’s head. “Did you hear that? You’re a one-night stand baby.”

Ignoring her comment, I looked over to Sam and smiled at him before addressing the group. “If no one else has any more questions about Joel, can we eat now?”

Steve grinned and held up his drink. “To one-night stands.”

….

It was nearly two in the morning; my eyes were glossy from tiredness and Kix was crying as I attempted to rock him back to sleep. He had awakened forty minutes prior, and I feed him, but it was not enough. He was having a bad night; I was so exhausted and worried that he would wake everyone up – even though Tony had said who cares. I cared, because I didn’t want to put anyone out. Moving up from the rocking chair, I started pacing the room.

“It’s okay, sweetheart.” I attempted to soothe him, but Kix was having known of it, his brown eyes closing and opening with each cry. He had never had a night like this before and I was on the verge of my own tears when a soft knock came from my bedroom door. Feeling embarrassed, I tried to hush Kix before answering it, surprised to find Sam.

He was wearing dark gray sweats and a white tee, his eyes tired and droopy.

“I’m so sorry, Sam,” I apologized, rocking Kix a bit faster. “I’m sure he’ll be asleep soon.”

Sam stared at me for what seemed like forever, but was always a few seconds before his face softened and he asked to come in. I moved aside and he did, closing the door behind him. I bounced Kix and watched as Sam turned to me and held out his hands. I was confused at first, so I just stood there, delirious with the lack of sleep.

He laughed. “Give me the kid.”

I said what. He repeated himself and stepped closer. “Are…are you sure?”

“Yeah, come on. I’ve held a baby before.”

My son’s cries were ringing in my ear, so I gave him up and watched as Sam held him gently. I was amazed to see how natural he took to it and it hit me this was the first time Sam was holding Kix – they looked good together. I felt warmth shoot through my body and got so lost in the joy that I hadn’t noticed that the crying at subsided.

“That’s right, little guy,” Sam whispered, his arms swayed back and forth as Kix fell back to sleep. “You need to get some sleep, cause your mom needs her rest. I have to take her to lunch tomorrow, to apologize for being such a jack-ass.”

I grinned and shook my head, moving closer to the pair. I peeked down at Kix and saw that he was asleep, face soft and pudgy. My eyes lingered to Sam, our bodies so close I could almost feel the warmth radiating off him. “I like lunch.”

Sam shrugged, eyes lowering a bit in shame. “I’m sorry for the way I had been acting, I hate to admit it, but I was jealous.”

“Sam – “

“– no, it’s just, they way we left things,” he whispered. “You said you hadn’t wanted a relationship while you were away and then you came home with this fella. I -I just thought that it was me then, that you didn’t want a relationship with me.”

Admiring his vulnerability, I smiled and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. “It was never not you, Sam. I just – it got lonely.”

“I get it, believe me,” he insisted with a snort. “Military life, am I right?”

“Yeah,” I smiled, yawning.  He motioned for the crib and I followed as he walked over to it, giving me a glance. I said for him to go on and watched as he placed Kix down on the crib mattress, stilling for a moment to make sure he wouldn’t stir. Kix didn’t and Sam sighed in relief, turning back to me with a kind smile. He reached out for my arm and squeezed it, before leaning in to kiss my forehead.

“So, lunch, tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” I said, walking to the door. The two of us stood at the doorway for a moment before Sam kissed me light on the lips; it was nice, and it felt right. He said goodnight but stopped when he turned to leave. His eyes found the crib before meeting mine and he winked at me.

“Bring Kix tomorrow, I’d like to get to know him better.”

“It’s a date,” I proclaimed in a quiet voice. “Goodnight, Sam.”

“Goodnight, June.”

[1dcraftawards]

MARCH AOM

Hello everyone! It is time to reveal who our author of the month is! They will be revealed below along with an interview we conducted with them! Hope you enjoy x

-1D Craft Awards Team

And our March Author of the Month is.....

@marisa-writes​!!!

Questions:

1. Did you start writing fanfiction for One Direction, or was there another fandom that you wrote fanfiction for before this?

Before I found my way to One Direction fanfiction, I wrote Jonas Brothers fanfiction for a few years and I loved it immensely! I wouldn’t still be writing fic to this day if not for the relationships I built in that fandom, and the love I received both from my readers and my writing friends. I’ve been sharing my writing online for about ten years now, which is crazy to me. It was my connection to people I met through JBFA that led me to eventually make my way to 1DFF, though I was a very casual reader and not a writer in the beginning. I was also a casual fan of 1D at the time, definitely into their music but not planning to dive in much beyond that. Oh, how the tables have turned...

2. How old were you when you started writing fanfiction?

In 6th grade, my friends and I used to share the joy of writing this fake gossip column between us in which we were the members of this epic girl band. We would write about all of our exploits in the band and in our fictional personal lives, where we were  - obviously - dating famous people, like members of ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys. In 7th grade, I wrote pages and pages of stories on loose-leaf paper about myself and my friends and threw in my celebrity crush of the moment as a love interest, so I suppose those stories were my first attempts at writing fanfiction.

This was in the early 2000s, so I didn’t really know my way around finding fanfics on the internet until a couple of years later, but aside from these self-insert stories, the first piece of fanfiction I remember writing with original characters was a Justin Timberlake one I wrote during my freshman year of high school. I kept it in a spiral that I decorated with pictures of Justin and my “face claim” - before face claims had a name - for my original character, Jamie (to show my age, her face claim was Samantha Mumba). I still have that notebook and know exactly where it is. I pull it out every once in a while to remind myself of the journey my writing has taken, because WOW, was that story bad! But I’d never be where I am if I hadn’t written it!

3. What’s been your favorite fic you’ve written to work on so far?

What a terrible question. Asking me to choose between my stories is a lot like asking me to choose between my non-existent children!

I have thoroughly enjoyed writing all of the projects I’ve shared so far, but the summer that I wrote the sangria series was like magic. Teyana and Niall came out of a couple days’ worth of me listening to one of my favorite R&B artists, Jon B., on repeat, and after one lengthy one-shot in which I’d put a lot of thought into their back-story as well as the one I was telling in that particular piece, I was a goner for them. While writing that series, I was an endless well of inspiration and I enjoyed creating those characters and spending so much time in their world.

The Different Strokes series has been the gift that keeps on giving for a few years now, and the joy that’s come from showcasing Liam and Georgia’s love for one another as their family grows has pleased me immensely.

I also feel very similarly about one of my one-shots, goodnight, good morning. Creatively, it was just an absolute joy to write and I can’t help but regard it with fondness whenever I think about it. It came out of left field for me, but my love of the stuck-in-the-elevator trope combined with my love of Liam in nice winter coats made for a piece of writing I am super proud to say I’ve written.

4. Is there a fic that you really wanted to write, but you just never did?

I have a plethora of barely-started fics that just sit taunting me in my Google Docs. The two that haunt me the most are Basketball Jones, an AU in which Liam is a point guard playing on the same university team as my OFC Tionne’s twin brother, Amari, and Roots, in which newly-solo Liam is stoked when presented with the opportunity to work with a legendary soul artist named Maurice Collins to complete his album, but the project ends up getting passed off to Maurice’s daughter Cleo instead. Both stories are the kind you wish would write themselves because you just want them to be out there in the world, you know? But alas, I suppose I have to do the work myself, and I just haven’t been able to get either project to take off just yet.

5. What’s your favorite trope to write?

ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS! God, I’m such a sucker for it. I know a lot of people are fans of the build-up and all the angst and heartache and reconciliation that comes with it, but I’m always the one at the end going, “So what’s next?” I love to see what happens past the happy (or sometimes, not-so-happy) ending. There is so much to be told in what happens between a pairing when they’re committed and figuring out how to be together, and I adore being able to showcase that, especially because it’s not something you see as often as other tropes in fic.

6. What’s your ideal space to write in?

I like writing in my room. It’s quiet, peaceful, my own space. Sometimes I’ll sit on my bed; other times, I like to kick back in my chair in the corner where my lights are hung - my little reading/writing/tv-watching nook - and I’ll prop my feet up on my ottoman and do some writing with a nice cup of tea. I like to be as relaxed as possible, so I can really let my mind wade through all the lines of dialogue and scenes that I want to write.

7. What inspires you to write?

All sorts of things. For many years, it was music. I used to require music playing when I wrote, but I write in silence more often than not now. Still, music is a heavy inspiration for me - there are stories to find even in the songs that don’t seem like, lyrically, they’d provide any. But the mind is a powerful thing, and so is music, and when the two work together, magic tends to happen.

I also find inspiration in the world around me, and in the things I read. I’m a big fan of studying how people interact with one another. Relationships - familial, platonic, or romantic - are fascinating to me, and I love to write about how people react to the others around them, or the environment around them. I believe certain people and places come into your life exactly when they’re meant to for reasons you may or may not understand at the time, but they’re always important in your journey, and I love to write about that.

As a black woman, having the opportunity to continuously write about black women is also a huge inspiration for me, which is something you’ll notice in looking at the original female characters I write. One of my favorite authors, Alyssa Cole, is a black woman who has written both historical and contemporary romances, and she floors me with every piece of hers that I read because the diversity she includes in every story is encompassing and feels effortless. She paints a picture of what our diverse world looks like or has looked like in the past with every novel or novella she writes, and she inspires me to use my words to share stories that feature black women of all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds at the center because it’s important to me to see incredible black women having their stories told. Alyssa’s diversity doesn’t stop at just black characters, either, which is even more marvelous to me. She’s a force to be reckoned with, and I always joke that I want to be her when I grow up, but let’s be real, I’m not joking.

8. Do you typically like to listen to music when you write? If so, what do you listen to?

I inadvertently just answered this question! Back in my must-listen-to-music days, I would put Jason Reeves’ The Magnificent Adventures of Heartache (And Other Frightening Tales…) on repeat. That album in itself tells a story from start to finish of falling in love, being in love, getting your heart broken, and starting over, and there was something in the magic of Jason’s lyrics and musicality that used to wring endless sparks of inspiration from me. Whenever I felt stuck, I would turn that album on and the words would flow. Nowadays, I tend to find comfort in the quiet, but if a particular song or collection of songs has inspired something I’ve written, like Jon B. did with sangria on your lips, or SoMo’s “For You” did with the one-shot of the same name, I’ll listen to whatever’s inspiring me on repeat.

9. Do you have any plans for any future fic ideas you’d like to pursue?

Nothing confirmed at the moment! If I could get those fics I have haunting me in my Google Docs to wander past small blurbs and vague plot ideas, that’d be wonderful. I’ll write fanfiction in this fandom as long as I’m inspired.

10. Do you have any advice for other writers in the fandom?

WRITE. FOR. YOU. Look at that again, read it over and over until it’s ingrained deep in your mind and heart. Don’t write with the goal in mind to gain ‘x’ number of readers, and don’t write to measure up to anyone else. We as writers are our own worst critics and conspiracy theorists, and we will come up with a hundred different reasons to stop writing when we’re discouraged or frustrated, or compare ourselves to others and consider them leagues above us. It is so easy to talk ourselves in circles of why we should quit because of whatever reasons we’ve decided on in that precise moment, but you know what? If you write, you started for a reason. It gave you feelings you’d never experienced before and wanted to chase so hard that they drove you to write something that came from your mind, your heart, your fingertips. Do you realize how extraordinary that is?

Nothing you write will ever mean much if you don’t write it for you. You can’t love to do this and pour your heart into your words if they aren’t ones that mean something to you. You are never going to please everyone that reads your writing, which is often a hard truth to swallow because we just want to be liked, and you will be by some! But it’s important that you write something you’ll be proud to attach your name to, because someone is going to be very pleased with it, but most importantly, you will be pleased with it. We grow and change as writers and so does our level of work, but looking back and cringing because maturity has made us better writers is not the same as looking back and cringing because what we wrote doesn’t reflect who we’ve been at any stage. Write to satisfy yourself at whatever place in life you’re in. No regrets when you look back.

11. What is your writing process like?

It very much depends on the project! One-shots are my bread and butter, and those are often things I can write in a breeze when I’m inspired. My one-shots are usually the lengthy type, more of a short-story packed into a smaller package, so writing them tends to go smoothest for me.

For my chaptered projects, or the ones that started as one-shots and turned into stories or series, it’s a slower process for me. I always have a general plot line and specific important moments in mind, but I’m not the outlining type at all - feels too stifling for me, and I like the freedom to adjust certain plot points when the process serves. If I’m full of inspiration and my life allows me the freedom to sit down and write away, I will! I’ve recently moved myself out of a life situation that was taking a lot of that creativity and peace of mind away from me, and I’m hoping to find my way back to some sort of constant stream of inspiration soon.

Author Specific:

1. Why would you say you’re more attuned to writing Liam and Niall out of all the boys? Would you ever write for Harry / Louis / Zayn?

Liam is the whole reason I wound up in this lovely mess. I became a fan of 1D’s music from the first album, but genuinely had no intention of going beyond that in terms of interest. I’d recently exited the Jonas Brothers fandom as a whole because the cattiness and pettiness of some fans was absolutely exhausting and I needed a break from fandom for a good while (or so I thought, as I eventually found myself neck-deep in the Big Time Rush fandom). Around 2013, though, Liam’s vocals, smile, and stage presence had me slowly turning into the eye emoji. And those who have known me for quite a while can probably recall the night in 2015 where I drank a lot of wine and looked at a lot of pictures of him on Tumblr and became a complete goner.

It took me a little bit to start writing about him, however. I’d been reading some 1D fic because a dear friend I’d met through JBFA had moved to writing 1D fic and I once told her I’d read Magic School Bus fanfiction if she wrote it, so I obviously followed her to 1DFF. As I became more interested in Liam, I started reading some Liam fics, trying to get a hang on his personality because at the time I wrote mainly OU and I love finding that authenticity. I also wanted to get a feel for writing characters who weren’t American, like I am. Eventually, I came up with some ideas, decided to get my feet wet, and started writing. I would say I’m attuned to writing Liam because in learning about him, I connected with him. I adore him as a person and an artist, and hardly anyone writes about him these days (which breaks my heart), so I continue to because he makes me happy and we could all use a little more Liam-centric stories in our lives.

As for Niall, I was blown away by the leaps and bounds of the growth of his vocal talent on Made in the A.M. He really shined on those songs for me, and when his solo career started rolling, I was mesmerized by the way he was going about it. Very deliberate with his choices, taking his time, warming everyone up to the magic he’d been possessing for years. I was floored by his magnetism both as a person and an artist, and it drew me to write about him. While it was completely unexpected because I’d been gone for Liam for quite some time, I don’t regret a single minute of it.

I would absolutely write for Harry, Zayn, or Louis if a story idea struck me. I actually started a Harry story that I stalled with big time because I scared myself out of confidence with the massiveness of writing a story with supernatural elements, but hey, maybe someday!

2. What is one moment from “Regarding Our Ghosts” that you never got to write but want to?

ROG, my OG baby! I’m unbelievably heartbroken that I haven’t been able to finish that fic, because it was a passion project, but it always holds such a solid place in my heart.

In the story, Liam and Lissie were meant to travel home to the UK to visit family for the winter holidays, while Nina and Macy went to see her mother, Noreen, for a few days around Christmas. Over the course of their time apart, I wanted to show how integrated their lives had started to become, with Lissie insisting that she and Liam buy presents for Macy and Nina to give when they returned, and Noreen inquiring after the father-and-daughter pair that Macy couldn’t stop talking about during their visit.

Once Liam returned, he was to drop by Nina’s to catch up with her and see if she needed some help with shoveling snow from the drive. There was a moment in which they laughed and joked and Liam’s laughter made Nina realize how much she’d missed him and it absolutely terrified her because she didn’t have the capacity to put a name to that feeling just yet. There’s a little snippet I wrote on an index card at the place where I used to tutor because it struck me mid-lesson, and I carried that index card in my wallet for years. It went:

He laughs, and oh—oh. His laugh. She missed his laugh. She missed this. She missed Liam.

The feeling settles low in the pit of her stomach, goopy and sweet, and she doesn’t know what to make of it. In her mind, there are little compartments where she sorts out her thoughts and emotions, and as she tries to sort this—that she missed Liam—she can’t. She doesn’t know where to put it.

So she lets it churn in her gut, thickening like a rue, until she can make up her mind.

It was such an important moment for them - a turning point, for Nina at least, realizing that this man she and her daughter had come to rely on in certain ways could be more than just a friend to her. That her feelings could be stronger, and she could maybe feel something for someone again after convincing herself she’d be happy alone if that’s what was meant for her.

Man, I miss that story something fierce, but it stays with me every day.

3. What is one thing you wish you would’ve known before you started writing 1d fic?

That I would get in this deep. Ha. No, honestly, I’m glad that I didn’t have any expectations going in. That’s the best. You learn as you go. Similar to my time writing Jonas Brothers fic, I’ve built some pretty great friendships that I never would have if I hadn’t started writing 1D fic. I even made connections with people who read my Jonas Brothers fanfics but we’d never spoken until I started reading and writing 1D fic!

I’m grateful for the people this has brought into my life, and the opportunity I’ve had to go into this fandom and spend more time honing my craft and getting to shine a light on people of color in my stories, black women specifically. We are so often missing from fiction and that is true from the fanfiction world to the romance novels I read, but our stories are so important and real and as needed as everyone else’s, so I am excited beyond belief that I’ve been able to create several black female characters that have reached out and touched readers of all kinds. I’ve also been able to connect to other authors of color who, like me, write about people who look and think and live like them, and the sense of being seen as a person of color is overwhelming. I hope to see more of it in the future.

4. Who has been your favorite OFC to write? Why?

I’m gonna cheat a bit here because it’s a three-way toss-up between Georgia, Rolly, and Teyana.

Georgia means the world to me because in my previous fandom, I wrote a lot of white OFCs because that was just...what I saw and experienced, and to be honest, I didn’t really think about it much at first. Writing white characters was the “norm”. After a while, I noticed that in seeking out characters who looked like me, I encountered a lot of storylines that featured racism as a conflict between x Jonas Brother’s family and the OFC. It was hard to find stories in which characters were just human beings who happened to be black and faced conflict that had nothing to do with their race. So, I decided to write a story in which that was the case. It opened up my eyes to what I’d been failing to focus on, something that became super important to me the more I reflected on it: seeing black characters represented realistically and in a positive light in fanfiction.

When I eventually came to write 1D fic, I made a very conscious choice to feature black women at the center of my stories, and Georgia was the first. Through her, I was able to show a successful black woman who had started a family with the man she loved, and I was able to showcase little moments of Georgia’s experiences as a black woman that Liam had to learn about, like why she wrapped her hair at night. It sounds like such a small thing, but that was big for me - I couldn’t recall ever seeing that in the writing I’d read thus far, a black woman wrapping her hair at night, so I wrote it. Soon, I had readers coming to me who could relate and said they hadn’t seen it, either. I’ve also had non-black readers who have expressed how much they like the fact that I write about black women, that they enjoy reading stories that focus on people of color. The whole experience has been so moving for me.  It’s made me realize that I am not only doing something I love, but also doing something important.

Rolly Marshall is, in many ways, a reflection of me. I conjured her up when I was a few months into my first year of teaching and overwhelmed, tired, and frustrated beyond belief. She was an escape. I could channel all of the things I loved and dreaded about my job into her and her life, and it was like lifting a weight off my shoulders. Rolly loves her job, like I did, but her experience was one that I created to be more positive than the one I experienced, which has made it both easy and hard to write about her at times. But more than our mutual connection through education, I love Rolly because she feels so genuine to me. She’s awkward and kind-hearted and funny and a good friend to the people in her life. She’s just a good egg. I love her spirit and her humor and that’s a big part of what’s made her such a joy to write. I didn’t expect many people to latch on to her because how many people could really relate to a second grade teacher? To my great surprise, many.

Teyana surprised me with my attachment to her. She and Niall were meant to be a one-time thing, much like Liam and Georgia, but seeing as how those two turned into an eighteen-part thing PLUS a throwback mini-fic, I should’ve known better. It was while I was writing sangria on your lips that I found myself thinking about who Teyana was before she and Niall met. I couldn’t stop thinking about where she came from, building her past. She comes from a single parent home where her father raised her after her mom left. She carries scars from that, from the abandonment she felt when her mom moved on without so much as a single moment to look back. She clung to her Papi and his Cuban culture and grew up with the lessons he instilled in her, including one she taught herself from watching his heart break: that maybe there was no great “one” for her. But that changes when she meets Niall, who challenges everything she thought she could gain from a relationship. He’s truly a partner to her. He has a glimpse into what life is like when your parents aren’t together anymore, so he’s empathetic to what she feels in regards to her mom. He loves her unconditionally. He’s her match, and after years of convincing herself she may never find her match and she’ll be okay with that, Niall is a pleasant surprise, and honestly, he restores her faith in love. She learns she doesn’t need anyone else to make her life complete - her Papi raised her to find that completion all on her own - but having someone to share her life with is a pleasure she’s more than grateful to have.

5. Which one of your fic boys was your favorite to write? Why?

Different Strokes Liam has been my all-time favorite. He’s driven and passionate about his work, completely committed to his family, and there’s a warmth, humor, and sexiness to him that has made him so much fun to write since I began. I love that I can paint him as a complete and utter sop in one piece, a classic romantic in another, and a confident master of seduction in the next. He’s confident and often sure of himself but not immune to insecurities. He’s got different facets, and I love getting to focus on each one at different times as the series shifts.

The Different Strokes series was something that spawned from what was supposed to be a stand-alone one-shot, but I found myself attached to the little family I built for Liam, Georgia, and their son Carter, and my mind expanded upon writing little snippets of them - glimpses of them as Carter grew, as their lives changed, as their family expanded. I am a big fan of established relationships, and I grew so attached to watching Liam mature and change as both a father and a husband. Liam in real life seems to have such a compassionate heart, and before he even became a father, I had a good feeling that he would be a great one and getting to write about him as both a father to his children and a partner to his wife has been such a joy. And with Checkpoints, my mini-fic in the series, I’ve been able to go back to when he and Georgia first met and began seeing each other and it’s been nothing but fun to write!

If not for DS Liam, I wouldn’t have fallen as in love with writing 1D fic as I have, so I am grateful every day for the opportunity I’ve had to expand upon his character and the incredible life he’s built for himself. Writing him has led to writing many other projects that I adore, and I can’t wait to see what’s next for me as a writer.