#bruce waynes adoption addiction

[psychokatrixxxy]

So my bf sent me an Instagram reel where Batman is holding up one of the Robins (I think Dick) and he says, "Spectacular, give me 14 of them."

My bf asked me if B was at 14 at this point (not just Robins, but just bats and birds in general, doesnt matter if they are or aren't his kids or kids in general, tho we didnt count Kate).

So, we started counting. Including characters like Carrie Kelley, and Terry and Matthew Mcginnis, the answer is yes. B is not only at 14, but he is past it....

I know we joke a lot about Mr. "I work alone" very much not working alone... but this is ridiculous.

Every time I think I know of them all, I learn about more!

[gothamundernightlight]

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Clark (as a reporter): Mr. Wayne, have you ever thought of having more children?

Bruce: You mean, adopting?

Clark: Adopting. Abducting. However you got the last four.

Bruce: …

[rad-batson]

Damian: Why do you need another?!

Bruce, adopting Duke: He needs a home.

~ two weeks later ~

Bruce: Why do you need another?

Damian, holding a chicken: She needs a home!

Jason: Do they realize-

Tim: No, they don’t.

[pyromaniac4198]

Danielle Wayne

Danny Fenton bets Dani that she can't hide in plain sight in a rich person's house without getting caught within a week.

She pretends to be a Wayne kid, and the other batkids gaslight Bruce into thinking he adopted her while sleep deprived.

Bruce takes a year to find out she's not his.

[hugsandchaos]

Dc x Dp

There’s a short video of a scare prank and there’s two guys being scared. One bolts off running, notices his buddy is frozen in place, goes back, picks him up, and keeps running. I keep seeing that as Danny and Tucker or a coworker of Danny encountering Bruce Wayne knowing his adoption addiction.

Bruce: *turns the corner*

Danny and Tucker: !!!

Tucker: *turns around and runs*

Danny: ...

Bruce: Is your friend alri--

Tucker: *runs back, picks up Danny, and fucking sprints*

[jaxallope]

*Batkid adopts a kid, be it oc/danny Fenton whatever*

Batkid:I’m pulling a Bruce/oh my got I’m becoming Bruce

Or

Batsiblings:*teasing grins, but ready to help/spoil nibling/niblings*Oh my god,You pulled a Bruce?/I can’t believe you’re pulling(pulled) a Bruce

Bonus points if Bruce is there and is annoyed (not really. Ok maybe just a little but he cat really deny it at this point) by this

[m3vl0vesu]

Honestly I love fics where it's a Spidey in Gotham. I love thinking about, but you know what else I love? Angst and found family. I mean go ahead and read what I write, I physically cannot seem to write happine-anyways!

Do you know how much Batman (Bruce) wants to find out Spidey's identity. Are they a meta-an alien, another Clark situation perhaps? What and who exactly are they? Why do they seem so playful? He is itching to find out, what if they need to make a contingency plan for them? I mean, they shoot webs for gods sake! And lift way heavier than they should. Their healing also seems abnormally fast... So just imagine with me. Spidey, stabbed or shot. Just a really gnarly wound. Their healing isn't working as fast as it should and they've already lost a lot of blood. Their senses are higher than ever and they're too far from home or any safe house. Fucking shit situation. And guess what? The big old' Bat had to be in the same alleyway. The playful façade is slowly slipping as well as there consciousness, in a spur of emotions they take the knife out. A loud scream (and maybe sob) escaping their lips. Bruce is just like 'WTF?? Are they really just an idiot?' But it was the object stopping the healing, of course! They had just been to overwhelmed to think properly. And...now they've fainted. Great. Just great.

Even after their wound had managed to heal, mostly at least, you still wouldn't wake up. He carried them into the Batmobile, his hand itched to take of that mask. Literally twitching, he needs to know. But he doesn't. He doesn't take it off, and that is something. The mask stays on, it's not like he could prove it to them when they wake up but 🤷‍♀️

It's trust

After they wake up, confused, they still check if your mask stayed on. Being concerned about your identity after losing that much blood spoke volumes. And now you both just sat there, this man had told them that they were a nuisance almost every chance he got and now he was taking you to the Batcave-wait the Batcave??

found this in my drafts

[ghostdoodlen]

Bruce tries to get Marinette in his family.

Overall, just choose your ship.

The last is a bonus drawing I think someone requested in discord.

Basically instead of choosing one of the bat kids, Marinette chooses Jon while Clark rubs it in Bruce's face.

UPDATE:

This has turned into a superbat post

Courtesy of @smartlanceisreal (gonna have to shout you out again for the inspiration)

They're now married. Jon is happy

[gotham-bird]

The general gist I get is Bruce just sort of gave up after Tim and at this point he resignedly expects random children to just appear in his life as vigilantes and also on his couch for movie night. Doesn’t mean he loves them any less, but also, where the hell do they keep coming from?!

[kitocrystal]

Jason would probably unironically like the punny skeleton man.

[weepingfishturtledragon]

What if Billy is exploring the Rock of Eternity and finds a powerful artifact that is able to hold creatures. He does some research and figures out the creature inside is a Beholder! (DnD)

Billy, being a goblin child, decides to use it as a Beholder grenade! (As a last resort!) The next big bad that wants to destroy the world, the Justice League comes together to fight them. Captain Marvel is somehow changed back into Billy Batson but instead of freaking out, he whips out the artifact and releases the monster to attack them!

Batman: A helpless child, I must save them!!!

Billy with the most evil smile throwing a literal monster grenade: ψ(｀∇´)ψ

Batman:...

Batman: They will be my child.

[psychokatrixxxy]

Everyone who likes DC and Danny Phantom crossovers needs to read Shadow of a Bat on Ao3. It's written by @clockwayswrites or PaperPuffin as is there username on Ao3.

It is one of the best fics I've ever read, ever! It's so sweet and wholesome, and chapter two got me like:

The emotional build up in to the last line in chapter 2, I was legit sobbing. It's a master piece!

[begaycommittreason]

requirements to be adopted by batman

Prexisting Trauma!

a child (optional)

orphan (optional, but preferred)

human (optional)

truly heinous coping mechanisms

dark hair (other colors available only for those who have another family)

honestly doesn’t like batman all that much

slightly skewed morals (more a resulting effect of said adoption)

generally massively fucked up and devastatingly alone!!

i think that’s it, he’s rlly just snatching kids up off the street idk what his standards are

[superawesome40]

Update on the Wayne Children AU! I’m at like, day three? And up to 96 sticky notes on the wall. They kept falling, so they’re taped up now.

I’ve caved to the urges to add a handful of OCs — just spouses and a few kids, because I’m a sucker for the family dynamic. I only did it for the characters who we don’t know a lot about or died or something (Enoch, Lance, Ibn). Also, I’m pretty sure that Ibn al Xu’ffasch is canonically married to Mar’i Grayson, but in this AU he’s 20 years older and her uncle so… no.

Next up is education, civilian careers, and who moved out and when and maybe where? I haven’t decided yet. Also figuring out who Brucie was with and when because the man has a frankly upsetting amount of biological kids now, and only like, seven of them can be blamed on test tubes and science. I’m definitely NOT procrastinating on researching the canon/heroics related stuff I’m gonna throw in this AU. Totally not.

I’ve also been thinking about making a post introducing the kids and some details about them in the context of the AU. Anyone interested?

[yourlocal-edgelord]

If u send me or if i find a bruce wayne rp account and imma hit that man up begging him to adopt me

gunna send him my whole ass resume

[daydreamerwonderkid]

I know it's mostly only done for crossover purposes, but I do think it's hilarious when the Batkids have little to no reaction whenever Bruce brings a new kid home.

No questions asked, just immediate acceptance.

Oh, there's a random child at the breakfast table whom Bruce hasn't bothered to inform anyone about yet?

Aight, well it looks their messed up family just acquired its newest member. Welcome to the fucking club, kid. You have no fucking clue what you're in for, but don't worry. It's only going to get more bat shit insane from here.