#batman knows there are orphans

[death-is-a-simp]

So, hear me out:

When Dick was originally taken in, it was interesting, but people got over it as time passed and new gossip came out.

But then Jason was adopted, and everyone was like, hey, orphaned, black haired, blue eyed, small child, can't be a coincidence, and it started kind of a joke among people, mainly kids and upper class adults.

This made it so it was common place to joke about 'risk factors' for getting 'Bruced'. People would say when someone dyed their hair black that the risk went up, or look at someone with blue eyes and say "any day now" people with long dead parents would say they are just waiting for the call.

Tim's classmates didn't find it as funny a few years later, though.

[pacificwaternymph]

Did you guys know that Duke's tag on Ao3 only has 7,000 fics? Because I didn't.

[sad-littletalker]

If Bruce is covering as Nightwing right now, who's acting as Batman in Gotham?

Tim: ok so any takers for the cowl?

*everyone looks at Jason as he is the second oldest*

Jason: oh no way. Absolutely not. Tim?

Tim: after evil gun Batman? ha. Nope. Plus DC doesn't pay much attention to me to make a good story about that.

Damian: may I-

Everyone: no.

Stephanie: OH I COULD BE PURPLE BATMAN!

Cassandra: I want to be Batman if Steph is my Robin

*everyone considers it*

Tim: that... isn't a bad idea actually. I like it.

[violent138]

Duke: "Bad news guys, he managed to give me the slip."

Tim: "How? Okay, who's got eyes on him?"

Damian: "He's just... gone."

Tim: "Hood?"

Jason, eating takeout: "Stop hacking my comms for this, I'm not even there!" *leaves the channel*

Steph: "Negative from me, I've been tailing some whole other guy."

Tim: "Nightwing?"

Dick, in a whole other city, on the computer, barely listening: "I already told Alfred I left the keys in the--"

Tim: "Thanks anyways. Orphan?"

Cass:

Tim: "Well shit. Everyone, we need to find him now."

Kate, spotting Bruce holding someone's black-haired baby at the Gala and immediately taking the baby from him: "No."

Kate, pressing a hand to her earpiece: "I got him just in time. Don't give me those puppy dog eyes Bruce, you can't even keep all your kids' names straight anymore."

Tim: "Phew, crisis averted everyone, good work. But remain vigilant."

Jason: "Tim, I swear to God--"

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Crack prompt: Danny has declared war on the curses in Gotham. He is armed with a water balloon gun, but the balloons are full of medical-grade ectoplasm. He targets any location, ghost, or liminal being tainted by curses and/or corrupted ecto - absolutely drenching them before yeeting off again.

This includes the Bats. Danny is smart about it, though. He lived in Gotham for several months before acting, so he could get the lay of the land. He also waits for patrol to be finished before hitting the Bats - he doesn't want to interrupt their Quest to Better Gotham (or be labeled an invader to their haunt).

One night, Danny happens upon Batman patrolling alone and waits for him to finish cleaning up a crime scene before hitting they guy with a half-clip of balloons. Batman gives chase, like he always does, and Danny runs, like he always does. He knows by now that, for whatever reason, Crime Alley is off limits to Batman. The whole alley just gives off "no (other) bats allowed" vibes.

Red hood is just more territorial. Whatever.

At any rate, Danny is enjoying the chase, using just enough ghost powers to stay ahead of batman, almost-but-not-quite taunting him. Crime Alley isn't too far, so instead of turning invisible around a corner like he usually does, he makes his way to the Alley to see if the no-trasspassing rule is enough to stop Batman mid-chase. He leaps across rooftops and weaves through fire escapes, ecto-balloon-gun bouncing by its strap against his back, until finally he's at the border, slightly tapping into flight to make the jump across a slightly wider road into the alley proper.

He turns around immediately, spotting Batman skulking on the rooftop on the other side of the road, stopping the chase and suit half-covered in healing ectoplasm.

"Sanctuary!" Danny yells, pumping his fists in the air from getting caught up in the exciting rush of adrenaline, "I claim sanctuary!"

"Who the fuck is claiming sanctuary in my territory?" Red Hood booms from almost directly behind Danny. He would have yeeted out of his own skin from surprise if he hadn't spent years honing his ghost-fighting instincts. As it was, Danny instead whirled around and emptied the clip of balloons into Hood, purely out of reflex.

Hood stood there, drenched in ecto like his fellow Bat one rooftop over, glaring murder at Danny with glowing eyes. But his haunt betrayed Hood's true emotions.

Surprise, concern, impressed, you-little-brat.

Danny booked it to the fire escape and turned invisible the second he was out of sight.

[kettlefire]

Prepare for the unexpected. (DPxDC)

Everyone knew about the reign of Pariah Dark. Even those who did not dabble in those realms have heard the tale of the tyrant. A power-hungry man who ruled over the dead with an iron fist.

Following the rise of Pariah Dark, his realm had been effectively cut off from communication. Many mystics and magic users knew better than to open the door of nightmares that could arise if Pariah Dark's reach went further than his own realm.

Except, the universe had plans to bring the realm of the dead back into the cards.

A new opponent, one that had all of Earth's heroes scrambling for options. A being with powers of a god over weather, destruction was on the horizon. A world ending threat.

It's the only reason the Justice League was doing this. In a deep bunker, far from close civilization as a precaution, the heroes looked on with grim expressions.

The world was already being threatened. It would be destroyed regardless of what the league did. So it only made sense to make the last ditch effort. To summon someone strong enough to defeat the threat.

No one wanted to do it. No one wanted to be the one to pull the realm of the dead back to the living. The consequences were untold if this succeeded. If Pariah Dark was freed and defeated the threat, whose to say he won't want control?

That was a problem for later. For the aftermath. For now, the league could only watch on with bated breath as Constantine completely the summon ritual.

They watched on as the shadows in the room seemed to darken and grow. As the sigil sputtered to life with a glow that was growing increasingly brighter. A sudden gust of wind rushed through the room, the temperature began to drop with eaching ticking second.

And then it was all gone.

The room stood perfectly still. Just as it had been moments before. Nothing changed. No giant king standing before them, no sign that the ritual worked.

The room stood deadly still for another beat before the murmurs started. The team trying to make sense of the situation, figure out what went wrong.

Constantine swore up and down that this was the correct ritual, taking offense that they would even think the problem was on his end. It only made it better when it finally happened.

A loud sound ripped through the room, pulling everyone's attention back to the summoning circle. Just in time to see a tear appear in the space above the circle.

A thin tear that ran the length of eight feet. The fabric of the dimension seems to curl at the edges, pulling back to reveal a deep glowing swirl of greens. A dark gloved hand reached through, fingers curling around the edge of the tear, stretching it even further.

A portal. The ritual had worked, but there had been a delay. A delay that had every hero nerves on edge. Each team member tensed, weapons at the ready as they watched the being stretch the portal to the right size.

Then, a foot stepped out with a heavy thud. A dark boot that looked otherworldly despite its similarity to mortal clothing. A deep black that seemed never-ending. A second foot quickly followed before a full body emerged from the portal.

Not many people in the room have ever seen Pariah Dark, let alone know what to expect. Based on what Constantine and Zatara had said, this wasn't Pariah Dark.

A man had stepped out of the portal, standing at almost seven feet tall, and built like a brick house. One glance at the glowing white hair, deadly red eyes, and shard teeth was enough to know this being was not to be messed with.

But there was no giant show of armor or royal garbs. There is no large crown at the top of his head or jewelry from the infinite realms laced around his neck.

Instead, the man stood before them in combat boots, worn-in ripped jeans, a graphic t-shirt, and a spiked leather jacket. Despite his almost normal clothing choice, the man's jacket seemed to be a never-ending depth of the dark night sky. If one was to look closely enough, the cosmos could almost be made out in the sea of darkness.

None of that would have prepared them for when the man spoke. His tone sounded more bored than anything as he took a step forward.

"Oh, so now you need the help of the dead." The man had spoken, running a hand through his hair. When Batman took a step forward to speak, the man raised a hand. Immediately commanding silence in the single gesture. "I'm on babysitting duty and have yet to have a cup of coffee. I'll be right back."

Just like that, both the man and portal vanished into thin air. Leaving behind a group of stunned heroes. Not only was the man not Pariah Dark, but he was also supposedly babysitting.

"Did that just-"

The Flash had been the first voice to speak up, his eyes trained on where the man had once stood. Except he had barely made it through the first few words before the man was suddenly back.

The man that now had a child hanging off his shoulders and another teen being held up by his scruff. Unlike the man, these kids looked human.

Too human for Bruce's liking. The dark black hair and bright blue eyes had every heroes eyes flickering to Batman for just the briefest moment.

"This isn't fair! I'm not even the king. Why do I have to be here!" The teenager had been complaining the moment the man had reappeared. Arms crossed tight over his chest and seemingly used to being held dangling. "Besides, who brings kids to a show down! Wait til I tell mom about this."

"Aw, come on, Danny. This is gonna be fun!!" The younger girl seemed in much better spirits than the teen, Danny. She had climbed up the large man, sitting on his shoulders and resting her arms on the mess of glowing hair. "It's like take your kids to work day! Ooo, Dan! Can we fight too!?"

Unlike the two kids, the man looked purely exhausted and annoyed. The man, Dan, dropped Danny like a sack of potatoes as he took a long drink from the travel cup in his hand.

It didn't take a genius to recognize the look of an exhausted parent in Dan's expression. A look many of the league members were well acquainted to. A look that even had Batman grimacing with sympathy.

"Can it, little shits. You two were grounded, remember." Dan had growled at the kids before shifting his focus back on the team of heroes before them. His glowing eyes set in a deadly glare. "Pariah Dark isn't coming, and he never will. He's been dethroned and banished. We're the best you've got."

A summoning that started with a group of on edge and scared heroes looking for the ghost king, ended in a way no one expected.

No one was even sure if it made any sense. They weren't sure if they should feel hopeful or in despair.

Because truly, what was a ghostly man with two seemingly human children against a godlike foe with the control over the weather?

The unspoken question of power and ability seemed to vanish following Dan downing the metal travel cup of coffee, and crushing it in his fist.

He tossed it to the side, straighting up his posture as he looked over the heroes. Dan might not be a hero, but he's been playing family for too long.

An almost feral, bloodhungry grin spread across the man's face, sharp fangs on full display. The look made the man suddenly look even less human. He looked closer to a demon from the pits of hell rather than the exhausted parent he looked just a few seconds ago.

"Point me in the direction of this bastard. It's been too long since I let loose and had some fun."

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

And I think it’s so funny how it’s a known fact that the Robin costume is inspired by Dick’s past as a trapeze artist but every modern iteration will show the Flying Graysons outfit and it won’t resemble the Robin outfit at all (more often than not, giving Dick much more coverage than the original Robin outfit) and while yes it’s obviously DC changing things up and being silly,,, it does prompt the idea that when Bruce was like “uh no u can’t wear underwear to fight crime” Dick immediately said “:( but im an orphan” and lied because he liked the fit

[ditzybat]

any teenage female hero: oh no, i think i'm starting my period :(

bruce, proud girl dad, procuring a basket of menstrual products and comfort items: i've got this guys.

[provecfy]

The batfam is sitting around the cave for patrol routes on the 24th (crime doesn't stop for Christmas Eve), when Batman breaks the news towards the end,

Batman: And, finally, there has been an intel breach at the North Pole, so the Justice League has decided to assign Orphan as Father Christmas' bodyguard for the night.

A beat of silence.

Nightwing, unimpressed: Is this a joke for the holidays?

Batman: I am serious. We would assign a flying hero to escort him throughout the night, but we believe a silent and skillful bodyguard would be better, so we moved for Cassandra.

Red Robin: I'm gonna give it to you, B, it's the first time I've seen you commit so hard to a prank, but nobody believes you.

Batman, dropping the Justice League approved files on Father Christmas in front of Cassandra:

Robin, raising from his seat in alarm: So all of those times you said you were gonna call Santa Claus to tell him I was being rude to my siblings-!

Batman: It was true. Everybody knows all the parents have Father Christmas' phone number. *Spoiler raises a hand.* Not your parents, I have been given the responsibility of informing him of your actions even though you're not my legal child. I speak of you better than you think I do.

Orphan, still a bit surprised: Why me?

Batman: He asked for you, ask him yourself, and cheer up. Even if it's for a mission, you're gonna meet Father Christmas.

Highlights of the Christmas Mission:

Father Christmas apologizes to Cass when he sees her, and tells her he has been trying to reach her to give her presents for years. He tells her none of what happened to her was her fault and that she has never been on the naughty list. Not a single year.

Cassandra gets to hug Santa.

Tim and Steph go to the Toys Factory in the North Pole to find the breach.

The North Pole's privage intranet is codified on the soundtrack of Christmas Walmart movies. Tim takes three gulps from spiked egg nog and begins a holiday-theme musical hack battle against the mole.

Steph keeps trying to unionize the elves as a joke but halfway through the night she starts finding actual issues created by some mean-spirited middle-manager and slowly gets more and more serious about the union.

Robin keeps talking to Nightwing about Santa in front of criminals and they all look at Nightwing like "does the kid not know" and Robin keeps insisting that Santa is real and his father talks with him on the phone but nobody believes him.

Red Hood hears about everything and now that he knows Santa is real keeps trying to speak politely to people and doing nice things in efforts to get back on the nice list before Christmas.

He gets Charcoal anyway.

Babs gets a message towards the end of the night. Cass has managed to get a selfie with Santa and her nineteen late Christmas presents after beating the bad guy.

Signal finds out that all the Christmas lights through the street illuminate the street to the degree he can pull all of his day shift shenanigans at night.

Every time he has to fight someone throughout the night he just yells "Holiday Attack!" and flashes them in the face with industrial levels of festive red and green light.

[sleepire]

Father daughter doodles fr

[jambrothebest]

I feel like if someone writes Bruce winning a fight against more than like 3 of the Batkids (any 3 but god forbid Cass and/or Dick are included) they should get their writing privileges revoked forever

like I like the guy but he’s not winning getting jumped by people who in some cases he’s said could beat him one on one, so yeah writing privileges revoked and the issue is no longer cannon it’s a dream or something

Lowk same goes for any member of the batfam like if any of them are getting jumped by like 3 other people who are at a similar level to them (with better tech in some cases) like im sorry but they aren’t sweeping the way dc wants you to think they are

[puppetmaster13u]

Meme Prompt 10

[s-darling-art]

Thinking about Danny and Jason Todd this fine evening

[star--bird]

What I think the favorite candy of each batfam member is:

Alfred: Turkish Delight (makes his own)

Bruce: Good and Plenty (only candy his kids won't steal)

Kate: Swedish Fish (specifically the green, red, orange, and yellow mix)

Dick: Classic M&M's (every time he eats them around his younger siblings he talks about how there used to be a light brown one)

Jason: Hot Tamales (just makes sense)

Tim: Hi-Chews (buys them at Costco in the big bag)

Steph: Sour Patch Kids (responds to Dick by telling him she remembers when there wasn't a blue sour patch kid)

Cass: Jolly Ranchers (the watermelon ones are her favorite, she keeps them in her pocket and eats them while working. Yes it is a choking hazard, no she doesn't care)

Damian: Peach Ring (Jon's favorite candy is watermelon rings and it annoys Damian)

Duke: Life Saver Gummies (the red berry mix)

Feel free to agree or disagree in the tags. I could use some silly discourse in my life but please be nice.

[haveihitanerve]

Renewed Orphan Grief

Clark barely sees it coming. He doesn't even see the hit. Only sees the aftermath. Bruce crumbles. Hard and quick and final. There is a sudden stillness to the battlefield, a hush rippling over everyone, good and bad, villain and hero. The villain pauses, caught off guard. He hadn't expected it to work. He hadn't expected to kill- “BATMAN!!” the screams shatter the silence, cleaving across the battle like knives. Clark turns. Nightwing is barreling towards his fallen former mentor, hardly registering the people he flies over, legs moving in a blur. Red Robin is right behind him, hurtling for Batman as well, almost fast enough to rival a speedster. Robin himself is already there, pushing and pulling and tugging, demanding he “get up!” and “fight!” and “stop playing please father!” Clark cannot stand it. He turns, and sees that there are more than just three voices. “BATMAN!!” Spoiler, the purple demon Bruce had once called her, is running faster than he has ever seen a human, and he can already detect the salty scent of tears. “B!” Red Hood drops his guns, sprinting for the other Gotham hero, the man they all thought was his enemy. Another child appears at his side, silent, undetected, ‘orphan’ Clark’s brain supplies numbly. Batman’s shadow. There’s a sudden roar of defiance and someone new and yet old is there, red hair flowing, metal braces around her legs, a bright yellow bat proudly emblazoned on her chest. The Signal is at her side, and they collapse like alk the others at his side, pulling Robin away and begging, pleading, pushing their life into him, sobbing for him to just “get up, please.” and Clark can’t stand the voice cracks and the shaking sobs, can’t stand the numbness in Red Robin’s eyes and the lack of a smile on Nightwing’s face. The battle resumes, slowly, and suddenly the kids are awake again, tearing across the field like wraiths, ripping through anyone who gets in their way. Clark spots their final destination. The villain does too. He scrambles into his jet, screaming, “go go go!” But its too late. They converge, scrambling up the sides like spiders, nimble and fast and far too agile. There is a silence emanating off them that is unnatural, unheard of. Clark has felt grief before but nothing like the things he can feel wafting off of them, and J’onn falls to his knees, cradling his head in pain as the wave finally hits him. “Please!!!” The villain screams, and they cannot see him anymore, theres a solid wall of bodies between them and his voice. “Don’t kill me!!” At that, they finally pause. “You killed our father.” Nightwing says finally, voice echoing across the expanse. “He had a rule against killing.” Red Hood cracks his fingers. “He might have pleaded your case.” The children, as a whole, step closer. “He’s not here to do that anymore.” Clark covers his ears.